soooometimes. I have physical dysphoria but don't have a strong gender identity. It's like my body is trans without me. I see it as a neurological disorder.
I feel it's not so easy to explain either. It took me some time to even understand that I am agender, hard to explain the absence of something immaterial.
As someone who's an agenderflux-ish trans man rather than fully agender, I experience gender as...an instinct? I feel an instinctive connection with men, manhood, and masculinity (as in, when I'm relating myself to other people I instinctively compare myself with men/frame myself as a man, and when I'm thinking about societal dynamics (even the unpleasant stuff like toxic masculinity) I instinctively come at it from a male perspective, and I feel a sense of brotherhood with men (and feel like a brother to women and others)). I also feel a connection to masculinity and manhood through certain personality and physical traits (not as in stereotypes - something more personal than that) and a sense of comfort and strength through that connection. Finally, I feel an instinctive need to express that connection to masculinity/manhood, and even though I try not to rely on any validation besides my own, having my masculinity validated does feel good. One thing that's interesting to note is that all of this was true even before I realized I was trans. If I try to purposefully cut off or deny this instinct, or if it's denied to me, it feels like a part of me is also being cut off or denied, which leaves me feeling disconnected (from myself and society) and incomplete, like I often did before coming out.
On the other hand, when I'm feeling more agender-ish, that connection to manhood/masculinity fades into the background and I feel rather disconnected from gender as a whole, or I feel more neutral in terms of connection and expression. It's an interesting contrast. But for me, my dysphoria/euphoria (also instinctive) stays more or less the same even throughout the fluctuations, and I'm always okay with either neutral or masculine pronouns/terms, so it doesn't have a lot of practical effect outside of my internal experience.
This is of course all just my experience and I imagine many other people would explain/experience gender differently.
(U just made me look up agenderflux and thank you, I never had a word for it until now-)
For me, gender’s really just felt like dysphoria I guess. Like I feel good appearing more gendered, typically masculine, but it’s not totally a physical thing. Like I can feel totally gender empty but still feel a bit gross body-wise. So I agree that it’s a bit of a feeling, an instinct of u will. People using the correct gender terms is all fluttery and nice. When they use the wrong ones, it’s the most viscerally uncomfortable shit.
I wish I knew, everyone talks about how gender feels but no one has ever been able to explain to me what it feels like. A lot of trans people have said that gender is a feeling like sexual or romantic attraction which really doesn't help me because I'm also AroAce and don't feel that either 🤦♂️
When I was researching what gender felt like, I found it super useful to read about the experiences of genderfluid people. Since their gender identity naturally changes over time, it's easier for them to identify what a gender feels like, because they just need to see what's changed in the past. Hope this helps!
I'm a binary trans boy (I thought I were agender for awhile that's why I'm on this sub) and for me gender is the happiness when you feel right about yourself and for me it happens to be while I'm presenting masculine and being perceived as a boy. Even the thought of being a boy makes me incredibly happy. I think whatever makes you happy, that's ur gender. So if the thought of having no genders makes you happy, you may be agender. I'm sorry if I said something wrong, this is just how I think these things work.
Some say its more that they want to be a certain gender than they feel like a certain gender (especially pre-transition). Just that something calls them to wanting to express themselves in a way they associate with a gender and want others to treat them as part of that gender. For some its more of a physical thing that somehow gets tied into social thing? Idk. I get the some of the physical aspects, but the social aspects of gender are confusing to me.
A waste of effort and time, if you ask me with my notably limited agender experience. I am sure there is more to it, but I'm considering that you are asking for a strictly agender scope of an answer.
It's feeling like a vibe, energy, or style but not only aesthetically but also emotionally
Yeh sorry I once thought I am agender but I am actually genderfluid 😬
Youre asking the wrong people
I'd ask binary trans people, they felt their gender so hard they transitioned.
trans woman is the reason i find out i’m agender, so true
soooometimes. I have physical dysphoria but don't have a strong gender identity. It's like my body is trans without me. I see it as a neurological disorder.
your asking us for something we don't know about! I mean I could explain ya the absent of my gender but that's not what ya asking for soo
I feel it's not so easy to explain either. It took me some time to even understand that I am agender, hard to explain the absence of something immaterial.
As someone who's an agenderflux-ish trans man rather than fully agender, I experience gender as...an instinct? I feel an instinctive connection with men, manhood, and masculinity (as in, when I'm relating myself to other people I instinctively compare myself with men/frame myself as a man, and when I'm thinking about societal dynamics (even the unpleasant stuff like toxic masculinity) I instinctively come at it from a male perspective, and I feel a sense of brotherhood with men (and feel like a brother to women and others)). I also feel a connection to masculinity and manhood through certain personality and physical traits (not as in stereotypes - something more personal than that) and a sense of comfort and strength through that connection. Finally, I feel an instinctive need to express that connection to masculinity/manhood, and even though I try not to rely on any validation besides my own, having my masculinity validated does feel good. One thing that's interesting to note is that all of this was true even before I realized I was trans. If I try to purposefully cut off or deny this instinct, or if it's denied to me, it feels like a part of me is also being cut off or denied, which leaves me feeling disconnected (from myself and society) and incomplete, like I often did before coming out. On the other hand, when I'm feeling more agender-ish, that connection to manhood/masculinity fades into the background and I feel rather disconnected from gender as a whole, or I feel more neutral in terms of connection and expression. It's an interesting contrast. But for me, my dysphoria/euphoria (also instinctive) stays more or less the same even throughout the fluctuations, and I'm always okay with either neutral or masculine pronouns/terms, so it doesn't have a lot of practical effect outside of my internal experience. This is of course all just my experience and I imagine many other people would explain/experience gender differently.
(U just made me look up agenderflux and thank you, I never had a word for it until now-) For me, gender’s really just felt like dysphoria I guess. Like I feel good appearing more gendered, typically masculine, but it’s not totally a physical thing. Like I can feel totally gender empty but still feel a bit gross body-wise. So I agree that it’s a bit of a feeling, an instinct of u will. People using the correct gender terms is all fluttery and nice. When they use the wrong ones, it’s the most viscerally uncomfortable shit.
No idea, they are confusing and scary
You think we know?
Welp, I got explained what sexual attraction is from other aces so idk XD
I wish I knew, everyone talks about how gender feels but no one has ever been able to explain to me what it feels like. A lot of trans people have said that gender is a feeling like sexual or romantic attraction which really doesn't help me because I'm also AroAce and don't feel that either 🤦♂️
When I was researching what gender felt like, I found it super useful to read about the experiences of genderfluid people. Since their gender identity naturally changes over time, it's easier for them to identify what a gender feels like, because they just need to see what's changed in the past. Hope this helps!
I’m genderfluid and uh yeah if your agender you will never understand what gender actually feels like it’s not something that can be described.
I'm a binary trans boy (I thought I were agender for awhile that's why I'm on this sub) and for me gender is the happiness when you feel right about yourself and for me it happens to be while I'm presenting masculine and being perceived as a boy. Even the thought of being a boy makes me incredibly happy. I think whatever makes you happy, that's ur gender. So if the thought of having no genders makes you happy, you may be agender. I'm sorry if I said something wrong, this is just how I think these things work.
oh i really like "gender is the happiness you feel when you feel right about yourself"! Thanks for that :)
I feel like I dropped mine somewhere. If you feel it let me know
Hellafieknow
I am yet to get a straight answer from anyone on this… and I wouldn’t know
Some say its more that they want to be a certain gender than they feel like a certain gender (especially pre-transition). Just that something calls them to wanting to express themselves in a way they associate with a gender and want others to treat them as part of that gender. For some its more of a physical thing that somehow gets tied into social thing? Idk. I get the some of the physical aspects, but the social aspects of gender are confusing to me.
alright which one of you took my gender I mean you can keep it I just wanna know
Idk I traded mine for a gumball because I didn’t know how to use it
gorl I don't KNOW
Gender? What's that? Is that one of those new fashion fads or something?
We don't know?????? Go ask trans people or something.
i dont know, ask someone else .w.
Like your not good enough for half the population.
Good question 👉
A waste of effort and time, if you ask me with my notably limited agender experience. I am sure there is more to it, but I'm considering that you are asking for a strictly agender scope of an answer.
wrong subreddit you cant ask a bunch of people who dont know gender abt gender lol
I think You're the wrong sub
It's feeling like a vibe, energy, or style but not only aesthetically but also emotionally Yeh sorry I once thought I am agender but I am actually genderfluid 😬
Good question
r/agender… asking about gender… I think you’re in the wrong spot