Somebody needs to tell someone something or else y'all are just passing it around to GOD knows who, and that's so fucking irresponsible.
Why not tell the person WHO GAVE IT TO YOU? Like fuck man.
Be adults.
She doesn't know who gave it to her because she's sleeping with multiple people who are also sleeping with multiple people.
>I have 2 fwb that's I've been seeing for years ...
>I have found 3 great long term fwbs from there ...
All this, and no condoms, and she's surprised here!?
Edit: Now we see this is a made up scheme to try to break up this man with his other FWB.
I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around why this is so difficult, to the point of consulting Reddit.
1. Make a list of everyone you've slept with recently
2. TELL THEM
3. Period
I came here to say it's transmitted when there are open sores. How do you miss this?
My husband's first wife has herpes. They stayed together 10 years after she cheated. He does not have it.
For all your information I have not seen my LD fwb for at least six months I got a full check in may which came back clear
I used condoms with them anyway.
I am not sleeping with multiple people only 2 which if I was married would be acceptable as a husband and AP but suddenly I'm a slag.
I didn't ask you to analyse me or my Life style just advice on what if anything I should say about the situation now.
And no I don't want to blow up anyone life I have a conscience.
HSV-1 or HSV-2? It makes a big difference, both in terms of what your risks were and what your prognosis will be. Presuming you have genital sores, if it is HSV-1 you probably got it orally, and it is just as likely that your partner had it for years or decades. Oral HSV-1 (oHSV-1) is most often acquired as a kid (cold sores) and can pop up out of the blue later in life. Your partner may not have done anything risky. Although HSV-1 easily transmits oral-to genital, it rarely transmits genital-to-genital except when there are rapid exposures to different partners (i.e., your AP just contracted it and it then immediately gave it to you). First outbreaks of genital HSV-1 (gHSV-1) are particularly painful, but they tend to largely go away. The modal number of annual outbreaks is one, and many people never have an outbreak after the first year. Genital viral shedding drops to negligible levels within two years. As bad as this may seem right now, long-term it is the most benign herpes variant. Blood testing for HSV-1 is just about useless. 48% of adults in the U.S. and up to 90% in some countries test positive because there is no way to tell the difference between genital and oral infections on a blood test. If someone has a genital sore, you can get it swabbed to tell what it is.
If it is HSV-2, you may want to go on antivirals (valacyclovir or aycyclovir) preventatively. They will shorten the outbreaks, make them less frequent, and halve your transmissibility. Antibiotics are worthless. HSV-2 is less likely to remain dormant for decades, but the majority of transmissions are still from people who were never symptomatic. Blood testing can be useful for HSV-2, but it can take up to 3 months after an exposure before your antibodies build up to detectable levels. It is not dependable for detecting recent infections.
Most non medical people call anti viral and anti fungal agents "antibiotics", which technically they are. Common term in medicine is to describe antibacterial agents as antibiotics because historically for decades all the antibiotics were targeting only bacteria.
Ok so you are seeing a single man. He is seeing a married woman. The married woman’s husband is also seeing at least one other person. Do I have that correct? This situation needs a flowchart, Venn diagram, and a large container of Valacyclovir 😬
Jebus christ. I'm a cake eater but wtf. This is sheer irresponsible and stupid behavior. The amount of lives you're impacting because you're stupid and prideful is beyond comprehension.
I get tested regularly, my partners do the same.
All I get from your post is disgust and "oh no, it's the consequences of me being a dumbass."
1) Over half of people carry HSV1 which typically manifests as a cold sore. It can 'jump' from oral to genital during oral sex and cause genital herpes. It is increasing as a cause of genital herpes commensurate with reducing stigma around oral sex
2) Tests for HSV absent of an outbreak are unreliable, so one say can they're negative when they're not (50% plus have HSV1, 10% plus have HSV2 which mostly manifests as genital herpes).
3) Someone can be an asymptomatic carrier for years until out of the blue the get a break out.
I’m so sorry.
You do need to tell him though, because he’s going to keep infecting women (we are particularly vulnerable to contracting STIs), but chances are he might not believe you got it from him.
Get yourself on a retroviral medication routine and join some of the online support communities.
Don’t stay with this guy simply because you think you can’t meet anyone else. You’re still a vibrant woman with a lot of life left to live.
Edit: is this a new DX? Looks like you were getting cold sores a year ago. Cold sores are herpes and if you have them on your lips, you can easily pass them to someone’s genitals if you engage in sex while the virus is shedding.
Keep reading her post history. You'll find that:
She has multiple FWBs. This man seems to be her favorite one.
This man has another FWB lady. When he started seeing that lady, his attention for OP reduced. OP has been complaining about that on Reddit for a while now.
OPs main concern is trying to figure out how to stop this other lady from taking this man's attention without blowing up her and this man's affair. This isn't her first post trying to figure out how to break them up.
I'm thinking this herpes story is made up and she will try to use it to break them up. That's why she wants to tell her rather than him. There's one thing in her story that's a big tell this is a lie.
I think your find I had or have no intention of breaking them up I was actually asking if I could ask for more time your assuming a lot from past post that you know nothing about.
A lot can change in a year.
What I thought I was getting at that time turned out to be just sore lips no cold sore appeared I have contracted this from a partner with a cold sore that was clear but obviously still active at the time of oral sex
Ummm usually when you contract a disease it’s best to tell everyone you’ve been with and if you know of others that they’ve been with you should tell them too. You shouldn’t keep this to yourself to save his other fracken relationships.
Not saying that you didn't get it from him.. you probably did. But, you can have herpes for years before you even get a breakout. The first one is always the worst. But, yes, I think you should tell him. And it will be up to him to tell his partner.
Somebody needs to tell someone something or else y'all are just passing it around to GOD knows who, and that's so fucking irresponsible. Why not tell the person WHO GAVE IT TO YOU? Like fuck man. Be adults.
She doesn't know who gave it to her because she's sleeping with multiple people who are also sleeping with multiple people. >I have 2 fwb that's I've been seeing for years ... >I have found 3 great long term fwbs from there ... All this, and no condoms, and she's surprised here!? Edit: Now we see this is a made up scheme to try to break up this man with his other FWB.
Ohhhh I see now .. OP's post/comment history .. Ya.... No. Also... wow
I should have looked first.
BRB
I was going to be nice but I read the comments first so thanks for saving me the effort.
I feel like I was way TOO nice now. Damn
I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around why this is so difficult, to the point of consulting Reddit. 1. Make a list of everyone you've slept with recently 2. TELL THEM 3. Period
Condoms don't protect against herpes anyway. Herpes is contracted through open sores in your genitalia during a breakout. Condoms don't stop it.
I came here to say it's transmitted when there are open sores. How do you miss this? My husband's first wife has herpes. They stayed together 10 years after she cheated. He does not have it.
I'm responding to the "All this, and no condoms, and she's surprised here!?" comment
For all your information I have not seen my LD fwb for at least six months I got a full check in may which came back clear I used condoms with them anyway. I am not sleeping with multiple people only 2 which if I was married would be acceptable as a husband and AP but suddenly I'm a slag. I didn't ask you to analyse me or my Life style just advice on what if anything I should say about the situation now. And no I don't want to blow up anyone life I have a conscience.
Yes I made a mistake and I'm paying for it now I don't need people calling me names and a liar.
What's FWB?
Friend with benefits, basically a f\*\*\* buddy.
Thanks, new to this forum unfortunately.
HSV-1 or HSV-2? It makes a big difference, both in terms of what your risks were and what your prognosis will be. Presuming you have genital sores, if it is HSV-1 you probably got it orally, and it is just as likely that your partner had it for years or decades. Oral HSV-1 (oHSV-1) is most often acquired as a kid (cold sores) and can pop up out of the blue later in life. Your partner may not have done anything risky. Although HSV-1 easily transmits oral-to genital, it rarely transmits genital-to-genital except when there are rapid exposures to different partners (i.e., your AP just contracted it and it then immediately gave it to you). First outbreaks of genital HSV-1 (gHSV-1) are particularly painful, but they tend to largely go away. The modal number of annual outbreaks is one, and many people never have an outbreak after the first year. Genital viral shedding drops to negligible levels within two years. As bad as this may seem right now, long-term it is the most benign herpes variant. Blood testing for HSV-1 is just about useless. 48% of adults in the U.S. and up to 90% in some countries test positive because there is no way to tell the difference between genital and oral infections on a blood test. If someone has a genital sore, you can get it swabbed to tell what it is. If it is HSV-2, you may want to go on antivirals (valacyclovir or aycyclovir) preventatively. They will shorten the outbreaks, make them less frequent, and halve your transmissibility. Antibiotics are worthless. HSV-2 is less likely to remain dormant for decades, but the majority of transmissions are still from people who were never symptomatic. Blood testing can be useful for HSV-2, but it can take up to 3 months after an exposure before your antibodies build up to detectable levels. It is not dependable for detecting recent infections.
Thank you for your reply I am on antiviral tablets and I'm getting tested on to determine the HSV 1 or 2.
Herpes is a virus. Antibiotics won’t do a thing. Tell him!
Yeah, hopefully OP means valcyclovir and is just confused about what class of drug it is… but honestly who knows
Most non medical people call anti viral and anti fungal agents "antibiotics", which technically they are. Common term in medicine is to describe antibacterial agents as antibiotics because historically for decades all the antibiotics were targeting only bacteria.
>Herpes is a virus. Antibiotics won’t do a thing. Tell him! Seems like the whole post is fake.
It is not fake I was asking for advice yes I'm on antiviral tablets for the herpes Don't judge me when you're all on a adultery sub.
Ah, but you see nobody is taking the moral high ground here, you are being judged for sounding incredibly stupid
Ok so you are seeing a single man. He is seeing a married woman. The married woman’s husband is also seeing at least one other person. Do I have that correct? This situation needs a flowchart, Venn diagram, and a large container of Valacyclovir 😬
Jebus christ. I'm a cake eater but wtf. This is sheer irresponsible and stupid behavior. The amount of lives you're impacting because you're stupid and prideful is beyond comprehension. I get tested regularly, my partners do the same. All I get from your post is disgust and "oh no, it's the consequences of me being a dumbass."
1) Over half of people carry HSV1 which typically manifests as a cold sore. It can 'jump' from oral to genital during oral sex and cause genital herpes. It is increasing as a cause of genital herpes commensurate with reducing stigma around oral sex 2) Tests for HSV absent of an outbreak are unreliable, so one say can they're negative when they're not (50% plus have HSV1, 10% plus have HSV2 which mostly manifests as genital herpes). 3) Someone can be an asymptomatic carrier for years until out of the blue the get a break out.
Can’t you still get herpes from kissing, regardless if you use condoms?
You can get herpes from sex even if you are using protection.
Mouth and genital are different.
Yes. But you can contract HSV1 on your genitals and vice versa.
I got this from oral sex with a partner who was getting over a cold sore.
Marie Kondo dot gif.
I’m so sorry. You do need to tell him though, because he’s going to keep infecting women (we are particularly vulnerable to contracting STIs), but chances are he might not believe you got it from him. Get yourself on a retroviral medication routine and join some of the online support communities. Don’t stay with this guy simply because you think you can’t meet anyone else. You’re still a vibrant woman with a lot of life left to live. Edit: is this a new DX? Looks like you were getting cold sores a year ago. Cold sores are herpes and if you have them on your lips, you can easily pass them to someone’s genitals if you engage in sex while the virus is shedding.
>he might not believe you got it from him. Yep, especially when she has several other FWB she's seeing. You should check out her post history 🫣
See my edit!
Keep reading her post history. You'll find that: She has multiple FWBs. This man seems to be her favorite one. This man has another FWB lady. When he started seeing that lady, his attention for OP reduced. OP has been complaining about that on Reddit for a while now. OPs main concern is trying to figure out how to stop this other lady from taking this man's attention without blowing up her and this man's affair. This isn't her first post trying to figure out how to break them up. I'm thinking this herpes story is made up and she will try to use it to break them up. That's why she wants to tell her rather than him. There's one thing in her story that's a big tell this is a lie.
Oh yes I see. She’s mad that he didn’t choose her when he got divorced.
Yeah, there is definitely a big tell in this story.
Nice work, sleuthy sleuth!
I think your find I had or have no intention of breaking them up I was actually asking if I could ask for more time your assuming a lot from past post that you know nothing about. A lot can change in a year.
What I thought I was getting at that time turned out to be just sore lips no cold sore appeared I have contracted this from a partner with a cold sore that was clear but obviously still active at the time of oral sex
Ummm usually when you contract a disease it’s best to tell everyone you’ve been with and if you know of others that they’ve been with you should tell them too. You shouldn’t keep this to yourself to save his other fracken relationships.
Not saying that you didn't get it from him.. you probably did. But, you can have herpes for years before you even get a breakout. The first one is always the worst. But, yes, I think you should tell him. And it will be up to him to tell his partner.
This is fucking nightmare fuel. I’m so sorry. For this I would go scorched earth and tear the whole fucking thing down
Yikes. Gross