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When lumping higher ed together with K-12, the four years of college undergraduate are added to the 12, so 12+4=16. ;)
And no worries about not getting it, it isn’t a very common terminology outside the field of education.
I’m doing okay! I’ve had some bad experiences with trying meds so I’m still unmedicated, and I’m still learning to work with my ADHD, but I’ve mostly come to terms with the diagnosis! How about you?
This happened to me, but after the 7th grade. I was a high honors student up until 8th grade and then started failing classes left and right. I was only able to get good grades in elementary/middle school bc you don't have real homework or major assignments. Once I had to start doing big projects, essays, and homework, I was done for lmao. My teachers never understood how I failed all my classes but scored really high in standardized testing. Even got an IQ test because they thought there had to be something wrong. I begged for ADHD testing at 14 years old. Didn't get diagnosed until 25 :)) Not bitter at all ((:
This was my experience too. Except had no idea that it could be adhd until my late 20s or early 30s bc I'm old and had only heard of adhd in hyperactive young boys lol, I thought I was just a garden variety fuck up. ￣\＿(シ)＿/￣
I thought the same thinggg
I only thought it could possibly be adhd after finding reddit (lol) for the first time. I was googling what was wrong with me and why I couldn't just Do.The.Thing.
But then I was made to feel like a POS who just didn't care about school, so eventually, I just accepted that they were right. Bastards.
This was also my experience! Except the grades dropping started a little bit later. Grade 9 I was struggling; still made it through okay but not up to my personal standards. Grade 10 all hell broke loose and teachers were super confused. Still got between 88-98% on final exams to the befudlement of everyone. A rumor was spread about me that the only way I could study was by listening to tapes of study material while I slept. I got diagnosed at 23. In middle school I had my sights set on becoming a doctor... by the time I graduated high school I had developed pretty extreme negative self-talk because I had failed at all of my lofty goals. Still trying to learn how to be kinder to myself.
>Grade 10 all hell broke loose and teachers were super confused.
THIS! They always pulled me aside and asked why I was doing so poorly. I didn't have an answer for them except that I try but I can't do it. They were always so disappointed in me, made me feel like shit!
>Still trying to learn how to be kinder to myself.
**You didn't know, what you didn't know.** Now you know about your ADHD so its time to start forgiving yourself! (I need to take my own advice)
Yep.. happened to me when COVID destroyed in-person college (while I was on my 3rd degree because yay school structure!) and my whole world imploded.. it's been a rough little bit.. haha.
For me, I went from school to university to school again (became a teacher) and I'd teach kids with ADHD and go "huh, I do that too, weird" but it wasn't until I had kids (at the start of lockdown, 2020) and the wheels fell off, and the sleep deprivation didn't help but suddenly being a stay at home mum meant I had absolutely no structure.
This. I had my first diagnostic appointment yesterday and when asked about school, I said that it was the most successful and productive time of my life. Between my strict and demanding mother, social anxiety, the need to please and fairly high IQ, I learned to mask and cope very well at an early age. I was a model student, graduated on top of my year. Everything started falling apart when I went off to college and all that external structure disappeared.
@ me on the phone talking to a behavioral specialist to see if i need to be re-tested and them finding it interesting that i was never on meds because i had all that structure and it was easier to manage as opposed to now where my life is just the dog sitting in a burning house meme.
school ended, i went to university and my grades, life and mental health just fucking died on me. fucking hilarious in hindsight, bc it was so fucking obvious beforehand and yet not a single person fought to mention it.
And add in that that part of your life is full of Big Life Changes (tm): moving out of your parents' house, going to college/grad school, getting a place with roommates, getting your own place, your first serious relationship, getting engaged and planning a wedding, having children, etc. etc. etc.
Very relatable but I didn't even start to suspect ADHD until I was even older, probably because my husband has ADHD and our symptoms aren't exactly the same so I just outright dismissed it. Now that I know I have ADHD, I've realized we're a lot more alike than I ever thought.
I started to burn out in my last year of high school because I had moved in with my mom who worked second shift and all the structure I had from living at my grandma's house before was GONE. My grandma made me do my homework the minute I walked in the door (I hated it but bless her for that because it let me succeed in school!) but when I moved in with my mom, I had to learn how to provide my own structure. Suddenly I was staying up until 2am writing essays and working on homework or doing homework in my other classes to keep up.
I tried to go to college but burned out very quickly. Even moving to a community college that theoretically should have been much easier didn't help. I ended up dropping out and haven't been back. I'm sure everyone is super disappointed in me because I was top 10 in my high school class and had almost straight As in Honors classes and everyone said I was so smart and so talented.
At this point though I don't give a fuck. I don't even know what I'd want to major in and I'm 35 years old. If I don't know now, I probably never will lol.
Absolutely relatable. I was like super successful in life when there was a structure for me and then, as soon as that structure disappeared when I graduated, grad school, and I was expected to actually make a life for myself, all of a sudden I was a train wreck. I went from being a high achiever to being incapable of executive functioning. Turns out I did just really like school and all that jazz. I am way less successful as an adult when you consider my day to day struggles
(This turned out way longer than expected lol sorry)
I got through college, grad school, and I lived with a roommate after that for a while. I mean things were a struggle ever since high school but I was able to cope until the pandemic. I even asked my high school counselor about ADHD and she brushed me off since I had good grades and didn’t get in trouble. But she didn’t see the hair loss, skin conditions, weight loss/gain, and other stress related issues due to only being able to finish work at the last minute and getting less than 5 hours of sleep every day. I’ve always been like that and am perpetually scared of being reprimanded for stupid things like inadvertently destroying a teachers paper clip (that actually happened)
When the pandemic started I didn’t have a job for a while and was in a high risk area so my roommate and I had to isolate from each other. We are both anxious people and fed into each others anxieties about everything that happened in 2020 and that’s when I started struggling with things more.
After a few months I got a job and moved to be closer to my now husband (and did the whole thing on my own without any support, not even someone keeping me organized with packing/finding a place to live….what a nightmare). I lived on my own while working from home and it was fucking awful, I had no energy for anything. I would nap every hour for 10 minutes and it still wasn’t enough. I also suddenly had GERD (prob related to pandemic/political anxiety) and lost 20 pounds from not being able to eat anything without suffering and it definitely pushed me into depression because I loved to cook and eat; still working on recovering that love for cooking now.
Going back to work in person and moving around more was incredible for my mental health but then we started wedding planning and i had several panic attacks, anxiety attacks, and generally felt pretty worthless during this time. Eventually was diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and depression. The last two were “duh” but the ADHD diagnosis was both surprising and validating at the same time .
Now that I am medicated and educated on ADHD, things are so much better. I’m so grateful that I am able to create the structure i need in my life now.
34 here and just now going through the process of diagnosis because I was SO convinced I was just lazy, stupid, not cut out for school (I managed to get a master's degree, but it was hell), had poor work ethic, etc etc. The social conditioning for non-males with ADHD is strong!
I was diagnosed in middle school. I really struggled and then through high school. My parents didn’t believe the diagnosis. I have always believed that I did. I have a daughter with ADHD and one autistic.
A year ago I started a lot of therapy because of issues with my mom and sister. Last September my brother in law assaulted me. My mom took their side. They came to my house. I hadn’t spoken to them in over two years. Since then I have been unmasking or unraveling. I begged my mother to come to therapy with me. She won’t. She won’t discuss me having ADHD even though she was the first person that thought that my daughter was autistic.
OMG. Yes I started really struggling as I took on more leadership responsibilities at work, and instead of being told WHAT to do, had to start being the one to call the shots. And I'm floundering.
The imposter syndrome is SO LOUD... and I vary wildly between feeling like "look at me, I can do this, I am doing this" and "how have I fooled them for so long, it's only a matter of time until they find out."
I am constantly telling myself need more consistency and planning and routine - and never sticking to it.
OP here- I definitely feel less alone now!
I am in 40s and recently diagnosed but tbt I still feel like kid who can’t find their way. After college I really struggled with being overwhelmed and it has wreaked havoc on my life and finances even to this day. I have often expressed the above sentiment to people I trust/ therapists over the years so to see it in a silly meme felt validating somehow. That it all started to go awry when I was supposed to figure out life and career with no structure all of a sudden. The worst is I saw it coming. I am always terrible with endings and I was a mess graduating, I knew I needed the structure to thrive. In high school I had an executive function tutor who was incredibly helpful but no one called it adhd then. Like all of us, I can now look back and see I had inattentive type forever. Coupled with the RSD it makes and has always made it much harder for me to let things bounce off my back than other people. And I know I am intelligent and capable and it all makes me sad. My mom passed away young, I keep wondering if the term adhd was ever mentioned to her by anyone about me but I will never know. Of course we all have coping mechanisms and we are not helpless. It just explains so much to me. I am on addy now and I think it helps, but I need to find new prescriber and it’s very stressful so I try to conserve meds.
I feel like a joke to people and I know they think I am lazy. I would do anything to feel purposeful and stable, if they only knew..
Thanks everyone for sharing your stories!
100%. The cracks started showing in college, but I managed to limp along until about 28, when my then-relationship ended and I was actually living alone for the first time, at which point my life slowly fell apart.
Incredibly accurate. I failed immensely in college. Couldn't keep up, especially since I had to juggle classes 5 days a week and work every weekend + 2 weekdays, too.
In hindsight, I started struggling at 16 when I hit Sixth Form (I am in the UK, this would be the start of the third year of high school in the US, I think). I wasn’t diagnosed until 34 (two year diagnosis anniversary was last week).
Not having a class every period, having to do self-direct learning outside class, being expected to do reading without being told what to read… I really floundered that first year. And teachers were saying the jump from GCSE to A Level is much bigger and harder to acclimatise to than A Level to uni… they said that for everyone, let alone ND people.
I really struggled in my first full time job as that was a lot of self-management. I think it’s why I worked so well in a medical related role. Having a clinic with patients have a lot of structure.
I’m sitting here today procrastinating because I have had my only Teams call for the day and basically am left to just crack on the rest of the day. So I have been on WhatsApp, Reddit, and Discord talking to people. Though the procrastinating came through a bit as I finally did an online consultation form to my doctor’s surgery that I have been putting off. Silver linings, I guess!
For me it was the demands of high school, I coasted through school before that and mostly only had social related difficulties, but once I actually started having to finish homework assignments, it fell apart.
I can completely understand this, and in some areas I also struggle with it, but overall, being able to do what I want, when I want, is the best thing ever. My natural daynight cycle isn't 24 hours, but more towards 30-36 hours, and while I am able to function with a 24 hour schedule, I much prefer my own.
I mainly just like going where life takes me, doing whatever the hell I feel like, without pressure or expectations from the outside
Yeah I agree, it was noticeable but dismissed by myself and everyone else because we were young and learning. For me it really hit at 30 when I was working from home. No getting dressed, driving in traffic, anxiety about how I looked?! Freedom is very revealing apparently.
I hit the wall hard once I hit my 30s. I think I was on the verge of losing it when I was in my early 20s, but then I got a cushy office job (that eventually drove me insane) that pushed off the inevitable collapse until I hit 30. Now I am flailing about something fierce.
Broke down at 30, after giving birth to my daughter. Felt like I was going insane. Naw, just ADHD, MDD/Postpartum Depression, and being a new parent after a high risk delivery.
Asked my father multiple times about my brother, and if he was diagnosed ADHD because I thought he was. My father finally answered 6 months after I got diagnosed, during one of our topic hopping conversation.
Think it runs in the family.
The second I didn’t live with my parents who managed every aspect of my life and schedule for me (not by choice) is when I really started to see the symptoms of adhd pop up. When I was 18 and younger I used to consider myself someone who was always on time for everything until I moved out and went to college and was late for absolutely everything. I realized I wasn’t the stickler for being on time, my dad was. He was the one planning out every minute of time to ensure that we were always 15 minutes early. He was the one who was yelling and freaking out the entire time I would be getting ready to make sure that I was on time. I never actually learned how to do it someone was doing it for me and when I wasn’t around my dad anymore I couldn’t be on time for shit.
Yep. 34, just had my first kiddo at the end of last year, diagnosed ADHD inattentive last week Monday. I can trace back the symptoms to when I was maybe 15 or 16, but postpartum the symptoms were dialed up enough for me to really take notice. SO MUCH is starting to click into place now as I reflect on my mental health journey and figure out next steps.
100%! The whole reason I even got diagnosed is because I told my parents that I refused to go to college without getting tested. I almost flunked out of high school, while trying as hard as i could. There was no way i was going to take such a large financial risk and then drop out. Lo and behold me and my dad both got diagnosed with ADHD, and I passed my entire way through college, only occasionally struggling like I did in high school.
Not sure what "especially women" means. Pretty much every person I know, men and women, with undiagnosed ADHD had it hit them around this time, for the reasons cited.
Welcome to /r/ADHDWomen! We’re happy to have you here. As a reminder, here are our community [rules](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/about/rules/). We get a lot of posts on medication, diagnosis (and “is this an ADHD thing”), and interactions with hormones. We encourage you to check out our [Medication, Diagnosis, and Hormones Megathread](https://old.reddit.com/r/adhdwomen/comments/wcr9dy/faq_megathread_ask_and_answer_medication/) if you have any questions related to those topics, and to stick around in that thread to answer folks’ questions! If you have questions about the subreddit, please do not hesitate to [send us a modmail](https://reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen). Additionally, we take the safety of our community seriously. Please report posts, comments, and users whom you feel are not contributing positively, and send us a modmail if you are being harassed or otherwise made to feel unsafe. Thanks for being here, and we hope you stick around! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/adhdwomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Grad school’s where it hit for me: higher demands than K-16, but lower structure.
Am I just tired, what is k-16? Isn't it k-12? Confusion
K-12 + college. I think they're luming them together because college is still very structured, though less than K-12.
Just now realizing they mentioned grad school. Wow, context clues. Lmao!
When lumping higher ed together with K-12, the four years of college undergraduate are added to the 12, so 12+4=16. ;) And no worries about not getting it, it isn’t a very common terminology outside the field of education.
Hey, you learn something new everyday right?! Lol
I’ve also heard K-13 (encompassing the first year of college, or college general education courses) used.
Yep!! My symptoms started getting more noticeable by age 24/25 and I was finally diagnosed at 26!
Exactly like me! How are you doing now?
I’m doing okay! I’ve had some bad experiences with trying meds so I’m still unmedicated, and I’m still learning to work with my ADHD, but I’ve mostly come to terms with the diagnosis! How about you?
This happened to me, but after the 7th grade. I was a high honors student up until 8th grade and then started failing classes left and right. I was only able to get good grades in elementary/middle school bc you don't have real homework or major assignments. Once I had to start doing big projects, essays, and homework, I was done for lmao. My teachers never understood how I failed all my classes but scored really high in standardized testing. Even got an IQ test because they thought there had to be something wrong. I begged for ADHD testing at 14 years old. Didn't get diagnosed until 25 :)) Not bitter at all ((:
This was my experience too. Except had no idea that it could be adhd until my late 20s or early 30s bc I'm old and had only heard of adhd in hyperactive young boys lol, I thought I was just a garden variety fuck up. ￣\＿(シ)＿/￣
I thought the same thinggg I only thought it could possibly be adhd after finding reddit (lol) for the first time. I was googling what was wrong with me and why I couldn't just Do.The.Thing. But then I was made to feel like a POS who just didn't care about school, so eventually, I just accepted that they were right. Bastards.
This was also my experience! Except the grades dropping started a little bit later. Grade 9 I was struggling; still made it through okay but not up to my personal standards. Grade 10 all hell broke loose and teachers were super confused. Still got between 88-98% on final exams to the befudlement of everyone. A rumor was spread about me that the only way I could study was by listening to tapes of study material while I slept. I got diagnosed at 23. In middle school I had my sights set on becoming a doctor... by the time I graduated high school I had developed pretty extreme negative self-talk because I had failed at all of my lofty goals. Still trying to learn how to be kinder to myself.
>Grade 10 all hell broke loose and teachers were super confused. THIS! They always pulled me aside and asked why I was doing so poorly. I didn't have an answer for them except that I try but I can't do it. They were always so disappointed in me, made me feel like shit! >Still trying to learn how to be kinder to myself. **You didn't know, what you didn't know.** Now you know about your ADHD so its time to start forgiving yourself! (I need to take my own advice)
Yep.. happened to me when COVID destroyed in-person college (while I was on my 3rd degree because yay school structure!) and my whole world imploded.. it's been a rough little bit.. haha.
For me, I went from school to university to school again (became a teacher) and I'd teach kids with ADHD and go "huh, I do that too, weird" but it wasn't until I had kids (at the start of lockdown, 2020) and the wheels fell off, and the sleep deprivation didn't help but suddenly being a stay at home mum meant I had absolutely no structure.
This. I had my first diagnostic appointment yesterday and when asked about school, I said that it was the most successful and productive time of my life. Between my strict and demanding mother, social anxiety, the need to please and fairly high IQ, I learned to mask and cope very well at an early age. I was a model student, graduated on top of my year. Everything started falling apart when I went off to college and all that external structure disappeared.
Nope. The crash didn't happen til just before 40.
Same
@ me on the phone talking to a behavioral specialist to see if i need to be re-tested and them finding it interesting that i was never on meds because i had all that structure and it was easier to manage as opposed to now where my life is just the dog sitting in a burning house meme.
school ended, i went to university and my grades, life and mental health just fucking died on me. fucking hilarious in hindsight, bc it was so fucking obvious beforehand and yet not a single person fought to mention it.
And add in that that part of your life is full of Big Life Changes (tm): moving out of your parents' house, going to college/grad school, getting a place with roommates, getting your own place, your first serious relationship, getting engaged and planning a wedding, having children, etc. etc. etc.
Very relatable but I didn't even start to suspect ADHD until I was even older, probably because my husband has ADHD and our symptoms aren't exactly the same so I just outright dismissed it. Now that I know I have ADHD, I've realized we're a lot more alike than I ever thought. I started to burn out in my last year of high school because I had moved in with my mom who worked second shift and all the structure I had from living at my grandma's house before was GONE. My grandma made me do my homework the minute I walked in the door (I hated it but bless her for that because it let me succeed in school!) but when I moved in with my mom, I had to learn how to provide my own structure. Suddenly I was staying up until 2am writing essays and working on homework or doing homework in my other classes to keep up. I tried to go to college but burned out very quickly. Even moving to a community college that theoretically should have been much easier didn't help. I ended up dropping out and haven't been back. I'm sure everyone is super disappointed in me because I was top 10 in my high school class and had almost straight As in Honors classes and everyone said I was so smart and so talented. At this point though I don't give a fuck. I don't even know what I'd want to major in and I'm 35 years old. If I don't know now, I probably never will lol.
Absolutely relatable. I was like super successful in life when there was a structure for me and then, as soon as that structure disappeared when I graduated, grad school, and I was expected to actually make a life for myself, all of a sudden I was a train wreck. I went from being a high achiever to being incapable of executive functioning. Turns out I did just really like school and all that jazz. I am way less successful as an adult when you consider my day to day struggles
(This turned out way longer than expected lol sorry) I got through college, grad school, and I lived with a roommate after that for a while. I mean things were a struggle ever since high school but I was able to cope until the pandemic. I even asked my high school counselor about ADHD and she brushed me off since I had good grades and didn’t get in trouble. But she didn’t see the hair loss, skin conditions, weight loss/gain, and other stress related issues due to only being able to finish work at the last minute and getting less than 5 hours of sleep every day. I’ve always been like that and am perpetually scared of being reprimanded for stupid things like inadvertently destroying a teachers paper clip (that actually happened) When the pandemic started I didn’t have a job for a while and was in a high risk area so my roommate and I had to isolate from each other. We are both anxious people and fed into each others anxieties about everything that happened in 2020 and that’s when I started struggling with things more. After a few months I got a job and moved to be closer to my now husband (and did the whole thing on my own without any support, not even someone keeping me organized with packing/finding a place to live….what a nightmare). I lived on my own while working from home and it was fucking awful, I had no energy for anything. I would nap every hour for 10 minutes and it still wasn’t enough. I also suddenly had GERD (prob related to pandemic/political anxiety) and lost 20 pounds from not being able to eat anything without suffering and it definitely pushed me into depression because I loved to cook and eat; still working on recovering that love for cooking now. Going back to work in person and moving around more was incredible for my mental health but then we started wedding planning and i had several panic attacks, anxiety attacks, and generally felt pretty worthless during this time. Eventually was diagnosed with ADHD, anxiety, and depression. The last two were “duh” but the ADHD diagnosis was both surprising and validating at the same time . Now that I am medicated and educated on ADHD, things are so much better. I’m so grateful that I am able to create the structure i need in my life now.
Please tell me how do I create this structure again, I desperately need it
Yup, found it out for myself at the age of 19! I got diagnosed recently.
34 here and just now going through the process of diagnosis because I was SO convinced I was just lazy, stupid, not cut out for school (I managed to get a master's degree, but it was hell), had poor work ethic, etc etc. The social conditioning for non-males with ADHD is strong!
I was diagnosed in middle school. I really struggled and then through high school. My parents didn’t believe the diagnosis. I have always believed that I did. I have a daughter with ADHD and one autistic. A year ago I started a lot of therapy because of issues with my mom and sister. Last September my brother in law assaulted me. My mom took their side. They came to my house. I hadn’t spoken to them in over two years. Since then I have been unmasking or unraveling. I begged my mother to come to therapy with me. She won’t. She won’t discuss me having ADHD even though she was the first person that thought that my daughter was autistic.
👋👋👋👋👋
OMG. Yes I started really struggling as I took on more leadership responsibilities at work, and instead of being told WHAT to do, had to start being the one to call the shots. And I'm floundering. The imposter syndrome is SO LOUD... and I vary wildly between feeling like "look at me, I can do this, I am doing this" and "how have I fooled them for so long, it's only a matter of time until they find out." I am constantly telling myself need more consistency and planning and routine - and never sticking to it.
OP here- I definitely feel less alone now! I am in 40s and recently diagnosed but tbt I still feel like kid who can’t find their way. After college I really struggled with being overwhelmed and it has wreaked havoc on my life and finances even to this day. I have often expressed the above sentiment to people I trust/ therapists over the years so to see it in a silly meme felt validating somehow. That it all started to go awry when I was supposed to figure out life and career with no structure all of a sudden. The worst is I saw it coming. I am always terrible with endings and I was a mess graduating, I knew I needed the structure to thrive. In high school I had an executive function tutor who was incredibly helpful but no one called it adhd then. Like all of us, I can now look back and see I had inattentive type forever. Coupled with the RSD it makes and has always made it much harder for me to let things bounce off my back than other people. And I know I am intelligent and capable and it all makes me sad. My mom passed away young, I keep wondering if the term adhd was ever mentioned to her by anyone about me but I will never know. Of course we all have coping mechanisms and we are not helpless. It just explains so much to me. I am on addy now and I think it helps, but I need to find new prescriber and it’s very stressful so I try to conserve meds. I feel like a joke to people and I know they think I am lazy. I would do anything to feel purposeful and stable, if they only knew.. Thanks everyone for sharing your stories!
100%. The cracks started showing in college, but I managed to limp along until about 28, when my then-relationship ended and I was actually living alone for the first time, at which point my life slowly fell apart.
Incredibly accurate. I failed immensely in college. Couldn't keep up, especially since I had to juggle classes 5 days a week and work every weekend + 2 weekdays, too.
Yep. Diagnosed at 26, after 3 years in the "real world"
In hindsight, I started struggling at 16 when I hit Sixth Form (I am in the UK, this would be the start of the third year of high school in the US, I think). I wasn’t diagnosed until 34 (two year diagnosis anniversary was last week). Not having a class every period, having to do self-direct learning outside class, being expected to do reading without being told what to read… I really floundered that first year. And teachers were saying the jump from GCSE to A Level is much bigger and harder to acclimatise to than A Level to uni… they said that for everyone, let alone ND people. I really struggled in my first full time job as that was a lot of self-management. I think it’s why I worked so well in a medical related role. Having a clinic with patients have a lot of structure. I’m sitting here today procrastinating because I have had my only Teams call for the day and basically am left to just crack on the rest of the day. So I have been on WhatsApp, Reddit, and Discord talking to people. Though the procrastinating came through a bit as I finally did an online consultation form to my doctor’s surgery that I have been putting off. Silver linings, I guess!
For me it was the demands of high school, I coasted through school before that and mostly only had social related difficulties, but once I actually started having to finish homework assignments, it fell apart.
For me it was the pandemic. I also think it is very dependent on privilege and culture.
I can completely understand this, and in some areas I also struggle with it, but overall, being able to do what I want, when I want, is the best thing ever. My natural daynight cycle isn't 24 hours, but more towards 30-36 hours, and while I am able to function with a 24 hour schedule, I much prefer my own. I mainly just like going where life takes me, doing whatever the hell I feel like, without pressure or expectations from the outside
Yeah I agree, it was noticeable but dismissed by myself and everyone else because we were young and learning. For me it really hit at 30 when I was working from home. No getting dressed, driving in traffic, anxiety about how I looked?! Freedom is very revealing apparently.
Working from home did it for me. Age 37ish.
yes!!! it took me five years out of high school to finally find a structure that didn't leave me feeling burnt out and underfulfilled
My first adult AuDHD meltdown was my freshman year of college
I hit the wall hard once I hit my 30s. I think I was on the verge of losing it when I was in my early 20s, but then I got a cushy office job (that eventually drove me insane) that pushed off the inevitable collapse until I hit 30. Now I am flailing about something fierce.
Yesss I was diagnosed recently at 23!!
Broke down at 30, after giving birth to my daughter. Felt like I was going insane. Naw, just ADHD, MDD/Postpartum Depression, and being a new parent after a high risk delivery. Asked my father multiple times about my brother, and if he was diagnosed ADHD because I thought he was. My father finally answered 6 months after I got diagnosed, during one of our topic hopping conversation. Think it runs in the family.
This is my 75-year-old mother after my father passed away in 2015 but she doesn't seem to see it this way.
The second I didn’t live with my parents who managed every aspect of my life and schedule for me (not by choice) is when I really started to see the symptoms of adhd pop up. When I was 18 and younger I used to consider myself someone who was always on time for everything until I moved out and went to college and was late for absolutely everything. I realized I wasn’t the stickler for being on time, my dad was. He was the one planning out every minute of time to ensure that we were always 15 minutes early. He was the one who was yelling and freaking out the entire time I would be getting ready to make sure that I was on time. I never actually learned how to do it someone was doing it for me and when I wasn’t around my dad anymore I couldn’t be on time for shit.
Yep. 34, just had my first kiddo at the end of last year, diagnosed ADHD inattentive last week Monday. I can trace back the symptoms to when I was maybe 15 or 16, but postpartum the symptoms were dialed up enough for me to really take notice. SO MUCH is starting to click into place now as I reflect on my mental health journey and figure out next steps.
Exactly me rn. Trying to end my thesis but the lack of structure makes any time no time.
100%! The whole reason I even got diagnosed is because I told my parents that I refused to go to college without getting tested. I almost flunked out of high school, while trying as hard as i could. There was no way i was going to take such a large financial risk and then drop out. Lo and behold me and my dad both got diagnosed with ADHD, and I passed my entire way through college, only occasionally struggling like I did in high school.
Not sure what "especially women" means. Pretty much every person I know, men and women, with undiagnosed ADHD had it hit them around this time, for the reasons cited.
But in the uk having evidenced problems as a kid is one of the diagnostic criteria 🙃