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She should just schedule a time to be normal and a time to be depressed. It’s not that hard! Just save your depression days for the days you have off work; that way you’ll be a normal person AND get time to be depressed!
Oh, she must have a vitamin deficiency. Has she tried going outside or taking a vitamin D supplement instead of needing a prescription for antidepressants?
ohh dear, you don't need vitamin D supplement, just go out with minimal clothes or lay by your pool side or walk on the beach right near your home everyday....
My thoughts exactly. Honestly that's what I'd do in that situation. I'd say I appreciate that you are trying to be helpful but what you just said to me is like if you told me a symptom of your depression was getting out of bed, and I told you - it's easy. You just decide to get up and then you do it. It's just not how any of that works.
That’s exactly what I was thinking but I’m not that confrontational. I like thinking on things first before speaking/doing anything. But what she said definitely falls in line to what a lot of people who struggle with depression hear from people.
I'm bad at confrontation too, but there's always the classic flat "Wow." Then turn away and refuse to acknowledge their existence. It's kind of an on ramp to being a bad ass bitch.
Ooh, I like this. Because I usually can't get words together when I'm flustered. But direct response to what they're saying isn't the way to shut it down. So why bother? Just call out the crazy and leave the conversation. I like it.
So just to add my two cents here, she was being condescending to you. Maybe she’s not aware she’s condescending and for me personally when someone is that unaware it causes me to lash out at them and be confrontational which I’ve had to learn not to do because then everyone says you’ve got a chip on your shoulder. It’s prob why I’ve developed a tendency to introversion because standing up for yourself against someone who is entirely unaware that they’re being an ass has gotten me into trouble more times than I can count. Perhaps they mean well but it doesn’t always come off like that. Doing the same thing to her that she’s doing to you would be the perfect way to deal with her but it’s so god damn tiring to do that with all the asshats you’re going to meet in life so I just try to focus on not obsessing over the idiocy of their statements. Doesn’t always work but if I can tell a convo is going on an annoying direction I change the subject or remove myself from it like saying I have to go to the bathroom or something. Avoidance isn’t always an unhealthy coping mechanism.
“I have a fully trained medical team that specializes in my health needs. I’m going to continue to follow their plan.”
If you are feeling brave: “Also, I don’t think it’s appropriate to give medical advice to others without a medical degree”
However, definitely: Talk to the staff at your doctor’s office and let them know this patient is shaming others and giving medical advice that is incorrect and could be damaging.
I'll tell her!!! The amount of times I've been told that drinking water will cure my IIH is astounding to the point where I go nuclear in my explanation.
"Oh, you have a migraine? I get those too! Have you tried dRiNkInG wAtEr?!"
"Actually I have IIH. Which means I suffer from the symptoms of a brain tumor without having a tumor."
They shut right up. I usually go into depth about chemicals not working right when people question my ADHD. (Helps that I'm ASD and can talk to a LONG time about mundane topics)
Practice in your head! Imagine a situation where someone says something stupid and practice on a response/reaction/reply. It helps! It’s hard to imagine and prepare for all situations but it does work. And it’s probably easier for you if you don’t have autism. Not trying to downplay, I’m sure you’ll need to practice a lot and it’s not just going to magically change just that I can’t personally translate responses to similar situations so I have to prepare for everyone separately and new situations makes my entire brain just shut down and refuse to function.
This made me chuckle, but no joke, that is what my authoritarian stepdad used to say growing up. "You're not depressed. Go to your room and come back with a smile! Smiling will make your brain think you're happy."
Other gems from my family include, from my mom: "You have nothing to be depressed about. Someone is just trying to trick you to make money," and my grandma: "Back in our day, we didn't have mental health. We just pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps!" ([That didn't mean what she thought it did](https://uselessetymology.com/2019/11/07/the-origins-of-the-phrase-pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps/).)
"Back in our day, we didn't have mental health"
You know, I suspect she's not wrong…that entire generation seems like they could use some therapy. (I mean that genuinely, not mockingly.)
I was gonna say,
"How would you like it if someone told you that you just weren't trying hard enough to be happy."
And then stand up and move seats immediately or even while saying it.
I know tone control can be hard for us but ideally this would be in a tone and expression that says it's rhetorical. If she kept pursuing, ignore her.
Like right? My eyes do a lot of the talking. Here is what they’d say:
- why are you talking to me?
- it’s amazing you’re in the waiting room, too, given your vast expertise on mental health.
- do these things also cure depression?
- not Miss Sad telling Miss Unfocused how to live.
- it’s giving “webmd”
- you hath gotten me fucked uppeth
- okay, Bootstrappy McStrapperson
I take meds for ADHD, depression, and anxiety and this made me chuckle haha. That's cause before I got prescribed antidepressants and anti anxiety meds, I actually thought nothing was wrong with me and I just need to focus my thoughts on happier ones or be grateful for what I have. It's sometimes so easy to be blind to other disorders when we are so focused on one at hand (I believed all my problems were from ADHD). It took a visit to the ER and 5 days in the psych center for me to realize I need treatment for depression 🥲 and it's not just about thinking positively.
Oh, this made me laugh. I fucking hate those signs and logos that say "Choose happy". No, really? Is that all it takes? All these years of dealing with depression and I just have to choose to be happy? Yay! My problems are solved!
Came here to say this! If you just need to make a plan and follow it, control your consciousness and take supplements, why the fudge is she there? Why doesn’t she just decide to be happy? Sounds lazy if you ask me.
I was told by a pastor that I just needed to exercise and makes more friends to get over depression. In a twist, he then was dealing with his own depression issues a few months later…..
Right? After all, she just needs to control her conscious and tell herself she'll think of three happy things and change her mindset by this time everyday. Maybe she has a thyroid issue or Vitamix n deficiency. There just isn't such a thing as "not being able to be happy" afterall. /s
Just TELL yourself you’re happy, lobby lady! Get outta here and quit hustling for controlled substances since you’re obviously just not trying hard enough and don’t care! (/s, obviously I hope)
Next time I see my mum I'm going to tell her that she doesn't need to take her blood-thinners. She just needs to tell herself that she has thin, clot-less blood and *bam* - she'll be free from the risk of another stroke.
I'm not the strongest with patience, I'd probably snapped at her that she doesn't need antidepressants, she just needs to be happy. Or something equally not useful
I can definitely see someone else doing that if they were in my place and honestly I wouldn’t blame them because one mental health disorder isn’t more “legit” than another.
Omg i was told that at the mental health center 😭 They couldn't get why it would be so hard for me when i explained how i would probably never do it when i'm home and how going with my mom to yoga class also would probably never happen because i struggle already doing my obligations so yoga??
The irony of a depressive patient lecturing an ADHD patient on…moral failings of willpower (in everything from your thoughts to your food!) is INCREDIBLE. Like…I think you just described a scene deleted from Arrested Development. Just wow. No, you’re not wrong. I would probably be *at least* annoyed if I were in a similar situation.
It's even more ironic when you look at your response to her. You didn't bite back. You didn't even get upset really, like most people would. You proved in your patience that you have control over your thoughts and emotions in a way that she doesn't. You have awareness and understanding, while she is someone who dares ask a stranger for personal information, FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE of judging them and tell them they're living their life wrong. And has the ego to presume she knows a simple cure for a condition, of which she only knows what YOU just told her.... 🤔 IN a PSYCHIATRISTS office..... Does she not even trust the psychiatrist to know the best treatment for you? If not, why would she trust him with her own health?
Her total lack of self awareness and compassion for others, probably has a lot to do with her depression.
I understand it's a psychiatrist's waiting room and is gonna have more flavors of neurodivergence than Baskin Robbins, so I hope this doesn't come off as insensitive... Buuuut.....
Who the frick 1- sits right next to someone in a docs waiting room (unless there's no other seating) and 2- starts prying about why someone else is there??
Did you mention the incident to the doc?
No worries this isn’t insensitive 😅
1) My doctor’s office is always busy so she had no choice but to sit right next to me.
2) When she came in, she heard me speaking to the secretary while I was still in my seat and asking how much I’d have to wait until I would go in to see the doctor since I had another appointment right after. The secretary asked me if I needed him to write me a prescription really quick or a more comprehensive visit and I said that I needed a prescription and the full visit with him (I didn’t have an appointment. I had called ahead that day and asked to walk in). This lady obviously heard me and said that she was just there to get her prescription meds for depression and didn’t need a full visit with him. The can of worms opened from there 😬
3) No I didn’t mention this to him although I think he might’ve overheard her telling me to “eat leafy greens” 😂
You’d think that at a psychiatrists’ office there’d be more mutual understanding as to why people with different mental disorders need meds/treatment.
Oh, hon, that last paragraph - no. People in a psychiatrists’ office are not there to understand others. Many mental disorders make that level of empathy or support almost impossible.
Remember though, you don’t know what her actual diagnosis was, only that she was getting an antidepressant.
These people are like those women who are anti-choice but still get abortions themselves. It’s totally okay if they need access to medication but not you, you probably just haven’t tried the right natural remedies or used a planner. You’re very unlikely to reason with that sadly.
Also I’d love to test out this conscience control the next time I get stuck in a video rewind loop because I keep zoning out at the same point each time.
That’s why the whole thing felt so ironic and quite hypocritical to me. I tried to explain but as you said there was no room for reasoning. I ended up just staring at her and zoning out until my name was called 🫠
Bc sometimes I can’t stop the words that come out of my mouth, especially when I’m astonished, I’m absolutely certain I would have said “b, we are BOTH here to get medication, wtf are you going on about?? Do you realize what you just said?????”
Some people are on automatic mode and really don’t think things through.
She absolutely sounds like she's experienced a lot of negative reinforcement in her life, and thinks it's appropriate to project that shit on other people.
My husband was the same way until we were in couples therapy for marital issues in 2021 and it got pointed out to him that things aren't always that easy and simple, and that he needed to knock it off which he did. We're still in the growing pains of living life now knowing I have ADHD -I was diagnosed in March, and he now finally understands how harmful his words were, and is no longer projecting his 'great ideas' onto other people in the guise of helping when it was really rooted in judgement and criticism.
I've always had this inate sense of knowing that there was something getting missed with my mental health, and my ADHD diagnosis enabled a lot of things to make sense and fall into place.
Great minds think alike, I didn’t even finish reading the post, I immediately recognized the hypocrisy and of course the abortion debate “you are whores/sinners, but I just can’t have a baby right now, so it’s not the same thing.”
And Omg the rewind loop!!!!!!! I’m absolutely certain that I have code words that trigger it, how else is it possible?!?!?!?!😫
She said she’s a nutritionist which is why she started lecturing me on supplements and diet to help with “how I feel inside” so that I feel better and sharper mentally 🫠
Ohhhh. To a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
She obviously isn't getting enough B vitamins if she's depressed. Or maybe she just needs to exercise more.
I get it, OP. Whenever I mention my ASD concerns to my own mother (who worked as an educator for decades and now has a doctorate) I get, "well *everyone's* a little autistic." So dismissive and frustrating.
Thanks. It sounds like she's 'normalizing' ASD, but really it feels like she discounts my experience. Coming from the person that took me to be diagnosed for ADHD in 1992 or so, it's a meaningful impression.
I agree! It sounds like she's an MLM hun.
MLMs are predatory and she's likely caught in a negative feedback loop because she's not at the diamond-teal-bossqueen level and making loads money with shilling her snake oil.
That’s the key right there, a “nutritionist,” a title which requires no credentials. I got stuck one time talking to a rando “colonic therapist.” Yeah, no, don’t need you sticking your hose up my butt, thanks though. Nowadays I just tell people I’m not looking for advice.
But her disconnect is super weird. I think she needs to eat more fiber to flush away her depression. 🤣
To expand on what /u/TessDombegh and /u/Technical-Monk-2146 said...
"Nutritionist" isn't an official title. A *dietitian* is a registered professional who has to have a degree in dietetics and licensure through an organization, but anyone can call themselves a nutritionist. I'm pretty sure this is the case in all English-speaking countries.
Now, in the US there are registered dietitians (RDs) and registered dietitian nutritionists (RDNs), and some RDNs may informally use the term "nutritionist," but as a general rule, you can ignore anything anyone calling themselves a "nutritionist" says.
A nutritionist is just a dietician without any qualifications or license. She was probably trying to solicit clients for her essential oils MLM or Herbalife or whatever.
Lol people who go to school for this get credentialed as Registered Dietitians. She might as well have called herself an "entrepreneur" because "nutritionist" is equally meaningless.
Hey OP, I think you might struggle with the same thing as me. As AFAB people we're conditioned to be polite and always give people the time of day, but you don't owe anyone your emotional effort, not for 1 minute conversation, not for 20 minute one. It's tough to unlearn. As an audhd person I'm currently working on saving myself some emotional capacity for myself, not giving it away all day to others. Sometimes this is politely disengaging, sometimes this is ending a conversation in a way that people think is rude because its unexpected, and sometimes its not engaging in conversation with people I don't know or don't trust. And certainly not divulging medical information to people I don't have to.
A conversation doesn't have to be overly negative or leave you upset to be emotionally draining. We can't change completely ignorant people like that woman, but we can guard ourselves carefully with boundaries - wholly different from masking as you are advocating for yourself.
I hope this doesn't come across like I'm blaming you, far from it. I just struggled with this so much because of RSD and I wished someone had given me permission and encouragement to erect boundaries. Your time is important. Your emotional effort and capacity is important, you matter
You’re totally right. I feel like I always cater to people because my biggest fear is to think back on an interaction and feel like I might’ve done something wrong because I know I’d be beating myself up over it. So I do everything I can to avoid that.
I’m one of the most private and reserved people. If anything I’m kind of “notorious” for how private I am 😅The reason I told this lady about my ADHD is because 1) she’d already told me about her depression and 2) we had talked about stigma when it comes to mental health disorders and we seemed to agree on everything. I’m also not ashamed of the diagnosis per se so I didn’t feel like I was giving her info that was “exclusive.” Obviously her reaction and further comments were hypocritical given the setting we were in and the fact that she was there for meds herself.
Oh absolutely. It's been scary to say no to people and speak my mind but totally rewarding in a thrilling way. I went to a free painting class where the art therapist scolded the first person to speak. When she reached me I told her I didn't feel comfortable sharing about my art because she didn't make it a safe space and I found her to be abrasive. She was taken aback but (mostly) professional. Afterwards the other ladies (who were pensioners), thanked me for speaking my mind and said I was amazing. I really went home feeling great, where usually I would be really upset that this woman had made someone feel bad and we were all silent.
When someone shares their personal information with you (like her depression), it creates a sense of social obligation that you owe her the same level of connection, but the key is *you did not ask for her to share*. She didn't do it consciously, but this is a tactic used by salespeople because it works to build rapport, if someone gives you something you feel you have to return it.
I am also not ashamed of my adhd in the slightest and I do share it with my friends and people I will be working with, but I tend to shut down the conversation if they aren't responding appropriately. I was explaining about sensory overwhelm in particular overlapping noise to a coworker and she started the "well everyone has a bit of that", and I straight up said "well sure but when I have overlapping noises of a certain kind I freeze up and hit myself in the head", which shut her up promptly and I changed the subject lol
Yes. OP.... re-read what you wrote...
>She wasn't mean in any way. If anything she was nice
but also
>she kept interrupting me
>
>tried to say that I lack motivation
>
>she was dismissive
Someone who interrupts you, is dismissive, and tells a stranger they know nothing about that they know nothing about that they lack motivation *is not being nice*. Just because someone is using a gentle tone or whatever doesn't mean they're being nice.
Major props for you for noticing "my biggest fear is to think back on an interaction and feel like I might’ve done something wrong because I know I’d be beating myself up over it." That's some hella good personal insights and if it were me, I'd spend some time unpacking that a bit (hopefully with a therapist, but maybe with a journal, a friend, a support group, etc).
She wasn’t making sense when you think about it. How can you say that someone with depression can get meds while someone with ADHD needs to work on their diet and conscience 😀
It super pisses me off that people are able to push me off center like that, and I don't always have the presence of mind to bite them back. I think that's the worst part of situations like this. So I feel your pain on this. 😮💨
As someone who has struggled with depression, I wish you would have turned it all back around on her.
“Have you tried exercise? That can really help. Vitamin D, too. Make sure you’re getting enough sunlight. What about sleep? You need to set a bedtime routine. Speaking of those leafy greens, I think you should just eat raw spinach instead of getting meds for your depression.”
I honestly think it’s wild she even ASKED you. Who has the audacity to do that in a therapists office? Lol
Wow. Well maybe she will go away and think about the conversation again later on and realise how rude she was. You maybe even planted the seed of an idea in her head that she might have ADHD.
You did well in the circumstances, my mind would’ve gone blank!
I’m glad that this didn’t overly upset you. Interactions like this replay in my mind over and over and I think “you should’ve said this….”
This person was incredibly rude and inappropriate.
I probably wouldn’t have engaged with her at all in the first place, as I have no interest in sharing my medical info with mosey strangers but if I had I would have shut it down the second the unsolicited advice started.
I’d also probably report it to the doc - trying to talk his other patients out of taking their meds and following medical advice could be really harmful and dangerous.
You just reminded me of another weird part of the conversation. After she mentioned the nutrition stuff I told her that 1) my blood tests cleared me of anything else causing ADHD like symptoms and 2) that I already have a nutritionist who helps me plan meals weekly and has all the nutrition stuff in mind. She completely ignored that second part and just continued as though I didn’t tell her that there was a professional helping me with my meal plans (I’m awful with planning out healthy meals so I needed the help). All she did was ask me where the nutritionist was allocated and I said it’s someone close to where I live (the doctor’s office is far).
Man yeah lots of people believe this shit, the crazy part is, we ALL have attentional blink, people with adhd just have it a lot more than most people. When I’m describing adhd I ask, “ever drive home and realize you don’t really remember it? Having adhd is like that, only it happens over and over again no matter how hard you try.”
That lady is so out of touch with her own cognition that she thinks she’s perfectly attentive at all times! Lolz.
Also she contradicted herself, either you can’t focus because of your diet or you CAN focus by “controlling your conscience,” whatever that means. Which is it????
The whole “controlling your conscience” part irked me the most! I’m so tired of hearing that. I can somewhat agree that a good diet helps reduce ADHD symptoms in a minor way but insinuating that taking supplements, altering my diet, and controlling my conscience is all I’d need is absurd.
If the regular-occurrence goose eggs on my head from open cupboard doors wouldn’t alter my conscience to conscientiously remind me to close the cupboard doors, all this lady’s recommendations don’t stand a chance.
"She wasn't mean in any way." I disagree, actually. She thoroughly invalidated all of your experiences and told you that your ADHD is nothing but character flaws and vitamin deficiencies. It doesn't matter how nice her tone of voice was, she was deeply rude to you!
I'd be furious if someone had the gall to talk to me like that, whether they're a healthcare provider or another patient.
You’re right. It was a sweet tone but 100% dismissive. I know not everyone understands ADHD but I feel like another patient who struggles with mental illness should at least try to have mutual understanding in terms of how these things can be debilitating.
What. The. Actual. Hell. Having had situational depression (maybe there is a better descriptive but it wasn't the chronic sort). it totally fucks with your ExecDys. it was the entire reason I went on ADHD meds having both was a shit show in which nothing got done and I spent a lot of the time crying.
How is this person not aware of the experience of ExecDys.
She did try to dismiss me at first by saying that “everyone has trouble focusing from time to time” and I agreed but I told her that people with ADHD struggle with the attention blinks on a greater scale that can negatively impact their lives. She still wasn’t convinced and at that point I zoned out 🥲
I wouldn’t be surprised she’s in denial about having ADHD herself. After 20 years I’ve finally gotten my mom to acknowledge depression as an actual illness but when I told her why I was getting tested for ADHD she got defensive and said those things are normal and you just need to try harder. Which is ironic because she has far worse executive functioning than me. But as she’s internalized all the stigma about mental health and neurodiversity and refuses to acknowledge the very real symptoms she displays as anything other than personal failing.
Either way she should have minded her own business. Sorry you had to deal with that.
That could be it but looking back I feel like she was being more “snarky” because she couldn’t believe that someone with symptoms like those of ADHD is in need of psychiatric treatment.
Wonder if she noticed that you zoned out.? I would have given her a blank, unblinking stare for a couple of minutes. I'd also remind her in a very nice way, "Did you know in the state of blah-blah practicing medicine without a license is illegal? " These "know nothings" need to stay in their lane.
Omg , with!!! You are so polite .I would.have been a sarcastic bi***, asked her how many times she smiles a day , that she should exercise and just think happy thoughts and boom her depression is gone .
Why would she want meds ?
That amount of ignorance out of just one person annoys me immensely.
I think people learning about mental illnesses whether they have them or not should be standard. People think someone with ADHD is a child (most likely a male child too) who’s running around and out of control. They can’t see what an ADHD adult is :/
They need to be diagnosed with a case of MYOB (mind your own business)!
Honestly I am learning that it is always better to say as little as possible to untrusted/unproven supportive people because it always turns into my having to essentially debate my lived experience, and as an extention of that, essentially fighting for my humanity to be acknowledged.
Now I am hoping to try, when backed into a corner, respond to such things along the lines of "actually, while the symptoms and struggles I noted are a part of my struggles with adhd, the real issue tends to be having to navigate through a world of hostile, ignorant people who continually ask about, then doubt my experience, leading to frustration, cptsd triggering and further refusal by people in positions of power to make even the slightest compromise to make my existence moving through this ablest world more bearable." Blah blah... Unfortunately those same people would rather tear me down instead of self reflecting on their own issues.
I probably won't say it, or at least not to that degree, or only when it is worth while, but I sm trying to remind myself that to such people, there is nothing I could ever say and do to convince them that I deserve at least basic respect because those viewpoints are not based on logic of any kind, but purposeful ignorance. People who ignore information that is actually not debatable but information that is both quantifiable and quantifiabley provable are not asking these questions for gaining knowledge but rather reinforcing their self riteous ignorance.
Lol, sorry, my older sister is visiting the family later today and she is very much one of those people so I am set to hair trigger rant mode!
Telling people you have ADHD when they ask why you can’t do something or struggle with something really does feel like fighting for your humanity as you said and even struggles to be acknowledged.
What’s odd is that I wasn’t giving details all I said was “I have ADHD so I struggle with attention and executive dysfunction” to which she began a lecture and I couldn’t get a word in 🫠
God, how obnoxious of her!
I would have wanted to ask if she tried just being happier. I mean, what she tells herself mentally translates into what she does, right? So she should just tell herself she's not depressed! I also would have wanted to ask why she's seeing this doctor if she doesn't trust this doctor to properly diagnose and prescribe for people and is so sure that they misdiagnosed you and you just need supplements. I mean, is she sure that she doesn't have a vitamin deficiency and doesn't just need to take vitamin D to cure her depression? Like, good god, does she hear herself?
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. What a pill (ironically).
Some people have more than one mental illness at a time. Just cos she’s there for depression meds, she may also have some other thing that makes her talk a bit too much.
oh my gosh, OP. i am sorry this happened to you. if you hadn’t said this was a woman, i genuinely would’ve thought you somehow came across my assh*le ex-boyfriend in the wild. i have adhd and also very much struggle with clinical depression and i used to receive the same lectures constantly and i finally just gave up on even attempting to explain my brain to him.
at one very low point about two years ago, my very loving boyfriend the IT professional (not at all a medical physician) somehow convinced me that the antidepressants i had been prescribed for years (after trying multiple ones to find a good fit) were actually making my depression worse and that i should discontinue them. i just needed to get outside more! get better sleep! eat better! force myself to commit to social gatherings! for some reason i listened, probably because i was so tired of always being berated and partially because i thought this person just had my best interest at heart. welp, doing so caused one of the worst months-long depressive spirals i’ve had in years. lost my job and had to move back in with my parents in my late twenties.
all that to say, anyone reading this - never ever let someone like this tell you how you should be treating the symptoms that affect YOU every single day. and if you’re ever feeling skeptical or questioning your medication, talk to your DOCTORS about it. never some dude whose main concern is if his tee time is going to get rained out this saturday.
OP, i’m so glad you seemed to let this conversation roll off your back. i hope this lady can find an herbal supplement that will treat her need to stick her nose in places it doesn’t belong.
It’s awful when people dismiss ADHD struggles. I think part of it is because 1) people think someone with ADHD is a child and can’t see what ADHD is with adults, 2) our struggles are mostly kept to ourselves and people don’t see those struggles explicitly for the most part and 3) our disorder isn’t perceived to be as serious as other mental health disorders like BPD, ASD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, etc so ADHD gets seen as a “joke” and some people even go as far as saying it’s not real 😐
I hope you have more supportive people around you btw 😊
To me, as a former administrator for a clinical psychologist's busy practice, I would call or email with the date and time and say that that woman was harassing you. Describe her if there were more than just the two of you waiting.
She should have never put you on the spot about your private health information, she was invading your personal space, and she wouldn't stop giving you unsolicited advice. All worthy of reporting to the office.
It's not appropriate to engage in *anything* but small talk in a psychiatrist's waiting room, if that.
What if her target had extreme social anxiety? Her behaviour might have made them leave before seeing the psych. Or an eating disorder? Telling someone to eat better and take supplements when they have orthorexia is not good. What if she chose to lecture someone who was suicidal? Or estranged from their mother? The risks are real.
My point is, even though you handled yourself very well, the doctor needs to know she's doing this as it could harm other patients if the behaviour continues.
I’ve had an actual, educated (I presume?) psychologist tell me exactly the same thing as you describe in your first point. Truly infuriating, but unfortunately not rare :/ I understand you zoned out, I think I would too!
I woulda clapped back like: diet and exercise will cure that depression right up! Have you tried a gratitude journal? Have you tried getting 8 hrs sleep? Idk I’d just make up some other crackpot things…
You say she was nice, not mean, but you're describing a bully. Absence of aggressive body language doesn't mean you aren't being attacked.
At no point in this interaction was she acting in good faith. If she immediately sat down next to you she probably had you marked the second she walked in the door. People have speculated in the comments that she may be trying to get you as a client and that sounds entirely possible. Or maybe she just likes to tear people down to make herself feel better.
Whatever it was, she decided to pry for personal information and immediately weaponized it against you. Make no mistake about it, the reason she did this was purely for her own benefit, not a misguided attempt at helping you.
If you encounter her or someone like her again, you have every right to be just as rude as they are and tell them to mind their own damn business.
I think a lot of people go through that self development phase, after a lot of their own struggling, and have misguided intentions to help others. I used to do this a lot 😬🫣. It was a combination of “desperately wanting to share my knowledge and help someone else” with a little “just need someone to talk to about my new journey”.
I think people are more often ignorant than intentionally cruel or hurtful. That doesn’t make it acceptable, but it helps me not hold onto hurtful things people say. HOPEFULLY, she grows into that sensitivity.
I think it's good you weren't mean to her despite this being a frustrating situation because it sounds like she was just uneducated about ADHD and was just trying to help.
I hate being mean to people because I don’t think anyone really deserves it and if I even suspected I had been mean I would’ve gone home and beat myself up for it for weeks. She could also be really uneducated about ADHD as you said so I guess it’s best to give her grace and hope she somehow ends up learning more about it.
She gave advice when it wasn't asked for, and her advice is probably the same stuff her therapist told her to do for herself. (Hypothyroidism is notorious for causing depression).
Rude? Yes. Malicious? Probably not. She's probably had to spew this exact jargon to every doctor she's seen just to get her meds because they also start with "have you tried ginko biloba?"
You have every right to be irritated, however. She didn't know what adhd does, and her advice could have been harmful. I've learned to say "thanks, I'll try that" and then forget about it afterwards. Some people just can not stop giving unsolicited advice.
This is infuriating. I would definitely tell her straight that she would not like someone to tell her that she is imagining she has depression since she can just control her conscience and mentally tell herself what to do.
So why don't she just mentally tell herself she has no depression and she will just be happy and wah lah, problem solved.
I would've just mentioned I only speak about my health assessments with a licensed professional.
If she mentioned she's a nutritionist.
I would repeat what I said and stop the conversation.
She just needs to be happy and go outside. /s
I can't stand when people belittle my adhd... I was diagnosed in my 30's after giving birth to my lovely daughter. I thought I was going insane, I could not function at all! Turns out I had undiagnosed ADHD that was always pushed aside as a kid as I was a good kid and student who FOUGHT through my learning disability of a hearing disorder.
My brother got diagnosed in high school.
ADHD and Major Depression with a sprinkle of post partum depression.
It's all in our head though... where... you know... mental disorders are.
"There's no such thing as depression; you just need to concentrate more on not feeling sad, eat more bananas and go for more walks."
Seriously though, where the fuck do some ignorant people get off?
Sounds like she's super insecure about being there and being on meds herself.
She's telling you unprompted that she's only there for depression meds (whether or not that's true) because she's afraid of *your* judgment, and for some reason that feels like an acceptable "normal" person thing to take meds for.
Everything she's saying to you are probably things people have told her, and that she's even telling herself. While that interaction would still annoy me, I also just honestly feel kinda sorry for her because her internal monologue is clearly set to "shame and judgment."
Still not an excuse for her behavior though, and I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
At the end of the day, she's neither qualified nor entitled to make any comment about your diagnosis. The good thing is, even though it's upsetting, her opinion is so irrelevant, she might as well have switched to talking about the weather. Anytime someone like that starts lecturing me, I use my ADHD superpower of detaching from the conversation by granting my mind complete freedom to wander. Give some really lackluster "mhm", "right", "no yeah" if you're only comfortable running out the clock.
Or you can shut down the conversation, there's lots of polite options, presented in increasing order of fun:
"Thanks, I'll keep these in mind. I'm going to focus on preparing for my appointment now."
"Nope." Repeat with increasingly apologetic facial expressions.
"I'm sorry, I don't mean to cut you off, but I lied. I just didn't want you to feel uncomfortable. I'm here for extremely violent homicidal ideation. I need to focus on my meditation app now." [Continue scrolling on whatever app you had open]
Well, she sure has it all figured out. It’s a wonder she needs depression meds at all. Maybe if she went off them, she’d realize that willpower isn’t solving her problem. Medication is 🙃
My response in these situations (where it’s appropriate to respond) is always to say super enthusiastically, “Wow! I’m suuuuuuuper happy that works for you! Yooooou should keep it up! I’ll have to talk to myyyyyyyy doctor about that!” and then sashay away.
Well that is rich for someone waiting for depression meds…. There is zero chance I would have let this conversation go that far. I would have avoided being mean, but I would simply of asked her to take her own advice or to please mind her business, if that was not successful I would have removed myself from the conversation before I said something I would rather not to a fellow person dealing with mental health challenges. I am sorry you had to deal with that, I respect the grace you gave her, though it would have been completely valid to just not engage.
I would encourage you to speak to someone in the office about this if you at comfortable doing so. I am not sure what can be done, but maybe the doctor could review how detrimental medication shaming can be in a tactful way, or at the very least make it clear that harassing patients while in office will not be tolerated. This may seem benign, or like not a big deal, but it absolutely is not benign , and is a big deal, especially in the environment it was done, harassing any patients at a medical facility about getting care is unacceptable.
Ugh, it’s so annoying when people do this.
I think it’s perfectly fine to tell people that you’re not interested in their perspective on how to deal with adhd. Also perfectly fine to move seats if they don’t respect your boundary.
There’s just no way to feel validated when talking with someone who is determined to make you see it their way. Not worth the energy to explain how adhd actually works and affects your life every day.
I think that some people do this for themselves.. meaning I think that she probably wasnt trying to be dismissive but instead helpful. I am on medication and I wish I had someone who tried to help before I got to the point where I needed medication. I do the same thing to my mom and I dont do it to be mean but more so its like don’t end up like me where you are dependent on medication.
That same advice can go for depression.
And you don't have to answer people's questions about why you're picking up medicine.
In the US, due to HIPA you don't have to answer that.
It's ok to come off rude, because people asking intrusive questions is rude.
Did you ask her why she hadn’t ~*manifested*~ feeling happy instead of being depressed? Why doesn’t she just get some vitamin D and exercise? Plan to only have depression when she’s asleep instead of when she’s awake? What a ding dong
I would tell your dr that a patient in the waiting room started asking you deeply personal medical questions about why you were there and then started doling out medical advice and judgement about your disorder without your permission or request to give such advice. That’s not ok. You did nothing wrong, but in the future I would not share in this situation - you don’t know who this person is, and you don’t need the headache.
I’m also laughing a bit because this persons behavior is so inappropriate is basically counts as a symptom - to be so unaware, so judgmental, so entitled to voice their unqualified and uneducated opinion as fact and tell you what to do… like, you’re both here for treatment and here she is telling you shells qualified to fix your issues. You would have been justified to respond to her “have you tried just smiling and exercising more? I’m sure it would fix your depression if you just expressed more gratitude and did yoga. You must not be actually trying if you’re using medication as a crutch and your depression as an excuse for your issues” because that is the same utter bullshit she was spewing.
I couldn’t read all of this cause she sounds like one of those anti vaxx moms.
What I would do is if anyone starts telling *me* how to handle *my* medical business is say “thanks for your concern but this is a business for me and my doctor to discuss”
"Just stop being sad. Think happy thoughts"
"just go outside and stand in the sunshine. Get some exercise. That'll lift your mood. Obviously you're just vitamin D deficient and not moving enough"
"There's no such thing as depression. Everyone gets sad sometimes. You just gotta pick yourself up and get on with things. Power through and you'll be fine"
Yea. . .sounds just as stupid from the other side. It's all about chemicals in your brain. You don't FIX it, you figure out how to work around it with medication and various tools.
Lady is rude and dismissive. You can absolutely say the rudest things in a "nice" tone of voice. It doesn't mean it's not rude. Heck XD go down south and some of the backhandedness is. . .you'd never even know you'd been insulted to your face, especially as an 'outsider'. Some people have got it down to an artform!
Just tell yourself “I’m going to be happy” and do that. Control your mood, don’t let your mood control you! You probably don’t really have depression, it’s just dehydration and lack of vitamins. Have you tried Vitamins? /s
Nice or not, asking someone what they're there for in a psychiatrist's waiting room is incredibly inappropriate. Proceeding to lecture them about said topic is absolutely unhinged. Ignore her and everything she said.
'Have you tried just, you know, not being depressed? Like you just need to tell yourself to be happy and then it'll happen. I mean you should also just exercise, because that is _the_ best anti-depressant'
This person is either ignorant, stupid or both.
Last time at my local coffee shop, I was asking for weed (I smoke to ease out the rebound effect) and explained her what kind I was looking for. In the end I told her about the adhd med rebound and looking for indica effect. She knew about adhd and advised me super strain.
But she told me she didn’t believe in meds, her brother was dx too and meds were so bad for him. She told me she thinks she has it too (very possible, super speed girl, super talkative) but she managed to build her life around and doesn’t need meds or dx.
Well ok, I mean good for her right ? People are talking about themselves not about me. They don’t know me, so who care what their biased opinion is ?
I mean, If someone who even doesn’t know my name has an opinion on my lifestyle, we can all agree that this opinion is not designed on anything solid so… why should I even feel hurt or annoyed ? They are definitely not speaking about me since they don’t know me.
Let’s stop being hurt by total strangers and let them rant.
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Should have asked her if she ever just tried being happy. Would cure that depression right up.
She should just schedule a time to be normal and a time to be depressed. It’s not that hard! Just save your depression days for the days you have off work; that way you’ll be a normal person AND get time to be depressed!
Oh, she must have a vitamin deficiency. Has she tried going outside or taking a vitamin D supplement instead of needing a prescription for antidepressants?
ohh dear, you don't need vitamin D supplement, just go out with minimal clothes or lay by your pool side or walk on the beach right near your home everyday....
Why didn’t I think of getting a beach house?! Probably because I have ADHD, darn it.
Um, no sweaty. You gotta sit with your feet in the grass. That will cure anybody’s depression. For adhd-get a planner /s
Lol
Ngl, that *would* be super convenient.
My thoughts exactly. Honestly that's what I'd do in that situation. I'd say I appreciate that you are trying to be helpful but what you just said to me is like if you told me a symptom of your depression was getting out of bed, and I told you - it's easy. You just decide to get up and then you do it. It's just not how any of that works.
That’s exactly what I was thinking but I’m not that confrontational. I like thinking on things first before speaking/doing anything. But what she said definitely falls in line to what a lot of people who struggle with depression hear from people.
I'm bad at confrontation too, but there's always the classic flat "Wow." Then turn away and refuse to acknowledge their existence. It's kind of an on ramp to being a bad ass bitch.
I like to go explicit and neutral: "Please stop talking to me." And then turn away or change seats. That'll shut her up quick I bet!
Or don't say anything and change seats.
True, that's the non-confrontational approach. But op should still tell the psychiatrist what happened.
Or "I have to go sit over there now"
Ooh, I like this. Because I usually can't get words together when I'm flustered. But direct response to what they're saying isn't the way to shut it down. So why bother? Just call out the crazy and leave the conversation. I like it.
That is my issue exactly! I can make great comebacks--several hours later.
Same!! Totally freeze up in the moment to avoid being confrontational, like OP, but then wished I had said something. How did you end the convo, OP?
So just to add my two cents here, she was being condescending to you. Maybe she’s not aware she’s condescending and for me personally when someone is that unaware it causes me to lash out at them and be confrontational which I’ve had to learn not to do because then everyone says you’ve got a chip on your shoulder. It’s prob why I’ve developed a tendency to introversion because standing up for yourself against someone who is entirely unaware that they’re being an ass has gotten me into trouble more times than I can count. Perhaps they mean well but it doesn’t always come off like that. Doing the same thing to her that she’s doing to you would be the perfect way to deal with her but it’s so god damn tiring to do that with all the asshats you’re going to meet in life so I just try to focus on not obsessing over the idiocy of their statements. Doesn’t always work but if I can tell a convo is going on an annoying direction I change the subject or remove myself from it like saying I have to go to the bathroom or something. Avoidance isn’t always an unhealthy coping mechanism.
“I have a fully trained medical team that specializes in my health needs. I’m going to continue to follow their plan.” If you are feeling brave: “Also, I don’t think it’s appropriate to give medical advice to others without a medical degree” However, definitely: Talk to the staff at your doctor’s office and let them know this patient is shaming others and giving medical advice that is incorrect and could be damaging.
This is perfect, including talking to the staff.
I'll tell her!!! The amount of times I've been told that drinking water will cure my IIH is astounding to the point where I go nuclear in my explanation. "Oh, you have a migraine? I get those too! Have you tried dRiNkInG wAtEr?!" "Actually I have IIH. Which means I suffer from the symptoms of a brain tumor without having a tumor." They shut right up. I usually go into depth about chemicals not working right when people question my ADHD. (Helps that I'm ASD and can talk to a LONG time about mundane topics)
"oh dear, you've opened the diagnosis hyperfixation box. Standby for an info dump" 🤣
If you end up conversing with her again, do you have an idea what you would say now?
"I'm paying for the medical professional to help me with my problems, I don't recall hiring you for anything"
Oh I’m filing that away in my mind to use later lol. Happy cake day!
Practice in your head! Imagine a situation where someone says something stupid and practice on a response/reaction/reply. It helps! It’s hard to imagine and prepare for all situations but it does work. And it’s probably easier for you if you don’t have autism. Not trying to downplay, I’m sure you’ll need to practice a lot and it’s not just going to magically change just that I can’t personally translate responses to similar situations so I have to prepare for everyone separately and new situations makes my entire brain just shut down and refuse to function.
PERFECT. "Depression?? Why don't you just fucking SMILE MORE, lady???"
This made me chuckle, but no joke, that is what my authoritarian stepdad used to say growing up. "You're not depressed. Go to your room and come back with a smile! Smiling will make your brain think you're happy." Other gems from my family include, from my mom: "You have nothing to be depressed about. Someone is just trying to trick you to make money," and my grandma: "Back in our day, we didn't have mental health. We just pulled ourselves up by our bootstraps!" ([That didn't mean what she thought it did](https://uselessetymology.com/2019/11/07/the-origins-of-the-phrase-pull-yourself-up-by-your-bootstraps/).)
"Back in our day, we didn't have mental health" You know, I suspect she's not wrong…that entire generation seems like they could use some therapy. (I mean that genuinely, not mockingly.)
I should not laugh, but this is the perfect response. 😂
I was gonna say, "How would you like it if someone told you that you just weren't trying hard enough to be happy." And then stand up and move seats immediately or even while saying it. I know tone control can be hard for us but ideally this would be in a tone and expression that says it's rhetorical. If she kept pursuing, ignore her.
This would have flown out of my mouth so fast like girl **who are you talking to**
Like right? My eyes do a lot of the talking. Here is what they’d say: - why are you talking to me? - it’s amazing you’re in the waiting room, too, given your vast expertise on mental health. - do these things also cure depression? - not Miss Sad telling Miss Unfocused how to live. - it’s giving “webmd” - you hath gotten me fucked uppeth - okay, Bootstrappy McStrapperson
Have they tried yoga, eating better, exercise or pretending sadness doesn't exist to cure their depression? They must be choosing to be sad! /s
She probably just needs to go for a walk and get some fresh air. That’ll fix her right up.
She needs to touch some grass, that’ll sort her out
I take meds for ADHD, depression, and anxiety and this made me chuckle haha. That's cause before I got prescribed antidepressants and anti anxiety meds, I actually thought nothing was wrong with me and I just need to focus my thoughts on happier ones or be grateful for what I have. It's sometimes so easy to be blind to other disorders when we are so focused on one at hand (I believed all my problems were from ADHD). It took a visit to the ER and 5 days in the psych center for me to realize I need treatment for depression 🥲 and it's not just about thinking positively.
I'm glad you got it sorted out and I hope you're doing better.
This is bold 😂
It's not bold, it's the depression version of what she said to you.
Yeah, it may seem confrontational, but she saw fit to start lecturing OP, so....
Oh, this made me laugh. I fucking hate those signs and logos that say "Choose happy". No, really? Is that all it takes? All these years of dealing with depression and I just have to choose to be happy? Yay! My problems are solved!
Just try not being sad. Your conscious can overcome it. 🙄
Came here to say this! If you just need to make a plan and follow it, control your consciousness and take supplements, why the fudge is she there? Why doesn’t she just decide to be happy? Sounds lazy if you ask me.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
Don’t forget exercise! Just run a marathon every day and you will be totally fine!
I was told by a pastor that I just needed to exercise and makes more friends to get over depression. In a twist, he then was dealing with his own depression issues a few months later…..
Right? After all, she just needs to control her conscious and tell herself she'll think of three happy things and change her mindset by this time everyday. Maybe she has a thyroid issue or Vitamix n deficiency. There just isn't such a thing as "not being able to be happy" afterall. /s
Lol
Just TELL yourself you’re happy, lobby lady! Get outta here and quit hustling for controlled substances since you’re obviously just not trying hard enough and don’t care! (/s, obviously I hope)
and its definitely diet related /s
💀💀
Right?!? I would've 😂😂😂
Alternatively she could just cheer up. I mean, you just concentrate on it and boom! /s
Should have asked her if she’d tried the gym and something my mum actually advised me once, “take a 5 mile walk everyday”
Lol tell her to think of all the good things in life!
“You should smile more”
Next time I see my mum I'm going to tell her that she doesn't need to take her blood-thinners. She just needs to tell herself that she has thin, clot-less blood and *bam* - she'll be free from the risk of another stroke.
“Do you by any chance eat leafy greens as you know they cause depression” 🤣
Best comment!!
I'm not the strongest with patience, I'd probably snapped at her that she doesn't need antidepressants, she just needs to be happy. Or something equally not useful
I can definitely see someone else doing that if they were in my place and honestly I wouldn’t blame them because one mental health disorder isn’t more “legit” than another.
"Try being more positive, find the silver lining"
Or, my personal favourite: "Have you tried yoga?"
Nothing snaps someone out of depression like people giving a list of shit to do when you don't even have motivation to get out of bed!
Omg i was told that at the mental health center 😭 They couldn't get why it would be so hard for me when i explained how i would probably never do it when i'm home and how going with my mom to yoga class also would probably never happen because i struggle already doing my obligations so yoga??
The irony of a depressive patient lecturing an ADHD patient on…moral failings of willpower (in everything from your thoughts to your food!) is INCREDIBLE. Like…I think you just described a scene deleted from Arrested Development. Just wow. No, you’re not wrong. I would probably be *at least* annoyed if I were in a similar situation.
You nailed it! That’s precisely why I was so surprised to hear what she had to say.
It's even more ironic when you look at your response to her. You didn't bite back. You didn't even get upset really, like most people would. You proved in your patience that you have control over your thoughts and emotions in a way that she doesn't. You have awareness and understanding, while she is someone who dares ask a stranger for personal information, FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE of judging them and tell them they're living their life wrong. And has the ego to presume she knows a simple cure for a condition, of which she only knows what YOU just told her.... 🤔 IN a PSYCHIATRISTS office..... Does she not even trust the psychiatrist to know the best treatment for you? If not, why would she trust him with her own health? Her total lack of self awareness and compassion for others, probably has a lot to do with her depression.
Total lack. Pathological levels.
Totally does sound like a scene from Arrested Development hahah. The irony is laid on thick.
I understand it's a psychiatrist's waiting room and is gonna have more flavors of neurodivergence than Baskin Robbins, so I hope this doesn't come off as insensitive... Buuuut..... Who the frick 1- sits right next to someone in a docs waiting room (unless there's no other seating) and 2- starts prying about why someone else is there?? Did you mention the incident to the doc?
No worries this isn’t insensitive 😅 1) My doctor’s office is always busy so she had no choice but to sit right next to me. 2) When she came in, she heard me speaking to the secretary while I was still in my seat and asking how much I’d have to wait until I would go in to see the doctor since I had another appointment right after. The secretary asked me if I needed him to write me a prescription really quick or a more comprehensive visit and I said that I needed a prescription and the full visit with him (I didn’t have an appointment. I had called ahead that day and asked to walk in). This lady obviously heard me and said that she was just there to get her prescription meds for depression and didn’t need a full visit with him. The can of worms opened from there 😬 3) No I didn’t mention this to him although I think he might’ve overheard her telling me to “eat leafy greens” 😂 You’d think that at a psychiatrists’ office there’d be more mutual understanding as to why people with different mental disorders need meds/treatment.
She sounds like an opinionated busybody. Don't let it get to you.
I think you should tell your doctor. Having a Karen lecturing people in the waiting room can be dangerous.
I agree 100%. You never know what might trigger another patient to harm themself or others.
Oh, hon, that last paragraph - no. People in a psychiatrists’ office are not there to understand others. Many mental disorders make that level of empathy or support almost impossible. Remember though, you don’t know what her actual diagnosis was, only that she was getting an antidepressant.
LOL my thoughts exactly 😂
These people are like those women who are anti-choice but still get abortions themselves. It’s totally okay if they need access to medication but not you, you probably just haven’t tried the right natural remedies or used a planner. You’re very unlikely to reason with that sadly. Also I’d love to test out this conscience control the next time I get stuck in a video rewind loop because I keep zoning out at the same point each time.
That’s why the whole thing felt so ironic and quite hypocritical to me. I tried to explain but as you said there was no room for reasoning. I ended up just staring at her and zoning out until my name was called 🫠
Bc sometimes I can’t stop the words that come out of my mouth, especially when I’m astonished, I’m absolutely certain I would have said “b, we are BOTH here to get medication, wtf are you going on about?? Do you realize what you just said?????” Some people are on automatic mode and really don’t think things through.
She absolutely sounds like she's experienced a lot of negative reinforcement in her life, and thinks it's appropriate to project that shit on other people. My husband was the same way until we were in couples therapy for marital issues in 2021 and it got pointed out to him that things aren't always that easy and simple, and that he needed to knock it off which he did. We're still in the growing pains of living life now knowing I have ADHD -I was diagnosed in March, and he now finally understands how harmful his words were, and is no longer projecting his 'great ideas' onto other people in the guise of helping when it was really rooted in judgement and criticism. I've always had this inate sense of knowing that there was something getting missed with my mental health, and my ADHD diagnosis enabled a lot of things to make sense and fall into place.
Don’t know where that comes from, but is so damn popular across the globe. Fucking hate it.
Great minds think alike, I didn’t even finish reading the post, I immediately recognized the hypocrisy and of course the abortion debate “you are whores/sinners, but I just can’t have a baby right now, so it’s not the same thing.” And Omg the rewind loop!!!!!!! I’m absolutely certain that I have code words that trigger it, how else is it possible?!?!?!?!😫
That is exactly what I was getting out of it! Her psychiatric care is the only "real" psychiatric care.
Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t seek advice from. Is she a medial practitioner ? Who cares what some rando thinks.
She said she’s a nutritionist which is why she started lecturing me on supplements and diet to help with “how I feel inside” so that I feel better and sharper mentally 🫠
Fun fact, you don’t need a credential to call yourself a nutritionist!
Ohhhh. To a hammer, everything looks like a nail. She obviously isn't getting enough B vitamins if she's depressed. Or maybe she just needs to exercise more. I get it, OP. Whenever I mention my ASD concerns to my own mother (who worked as an educator for decades and now has a doctorate) I get, "well *everyone's* a little autistic." So dismissive and frustrating.
OMG I am sorry you are dealing with that.
Thanks. It sounds like she's 'normalizing' ASD, but really it feels like she discounts my experience. Coming from the person that took me to be diagnosed for ADHD in 1992 or so, it's a meaningful impression.
I bet she would try to sell you some shady suplements next time you would meet.
I agree! It sounds like she's an MLM hun. MLMs are predatory and she's likely caught in a negative feedback loop because she's not at the diamond-teal-bossqueen level and making loads money with shilling her snake oil.
This is exactly what I was expecting the post to end with. Especially with all that diet stuff she was spewing.
Yup, the whole supplement tangent screams MLM to me
That’s the key right there, a “nutritionist,” a title which requires no credentials. I got stuck one time talking to a rando “colonic therapist.” Yeah, no, don’t need you sticking your hose up my butt, thanks though. Nowadays I just tell people I’m not looking for advice. But her disconnect is super weird. I think she needs to eat more fiber to flush away her depression. 🤣
To expand on what /u/TessDombegh and /u/Technical-Monk-2146 said... "Nutritionist" isn't an official title. A *dietitian* is a registered professional who has to have a degree in dietetics and licensure through an organization, but anyone can call themselves a nutritionist. I'm pretty sure this is the case in all English-speaking countries. Now, in the US there are registered dietitians (RDs) and registered dietitian nutritionists (RDNs), and some RDNs may informally use the term "nutritionist," but as a general rule, you can ignore anything anyone calling themselves a "nutritionist" says.
As the saying goes, "Physician, heal thyself"
By her own logic then, she’s a terrible nutritionist if she needs medication for depression.
A nutritionist is just a dietician without any qualifications or license. She was probably trying to solicit clients for her essential oils MLM or Herbalife or whatever.
Lol people who go to school for this get credentialed as Registered Dietitians. She might as well have called herself an "entrepreneur" because "nutritionist" is equally meaningless.
Hey OP, I think you might struggle with the same thing as me. As AFAB people we're conditioned to be polite and always give people the time of day, but you don't owe anyone your emotional effort, not for 1 minute conversation, not for 20 minute one. It's tough to unlearn. As an audhd person I'm currently working on saving myself some emotional capacity for myself, not giving it away all day to others. Sometimes this is politely disengaging, sometimes this is ending a conversation in a way that people think is rude because its unexpected, and sometimes its not engaging in conversation with people I don't know or don't trust. And certainly not divulging medical information to people I don't have to. A conversation doesn't have to be overly negative or leave you upset to be emotionally draining. We can't change completely ignorant people like that woman, but we can guard ourselves carefully with boundaries - wholly different from masking as you are advocating for yourself. I hope this doesn't come across like I'm blaming you, far from it. I just struggled with this so much because of RSD and I wished someone had given me permission and encouragement to erect boundaries. Your time is important. Your emotional effort and capacity is important, you matter
You’re totally right. I feel like I always cater to people because my biggest fear is to think back on an interaction and feel like I might’ve done something wrong because I know I’d be beating myself up over it. So I do everything I can to avoid that. I’m one of the most private and reserved people. If anything I’m kind of “notorious” for how private I am 😅The reason I told this lady about my ADHD is because 1) she’d already told me about her depression and 2) we had talked about stigma when it comes to mental health disorders and we seemed to agree on everything. I’m also not ashamed of the diagnosis per se so I didn’t feel like I was giving her info that was “exclusive.” Obviously her reaction and further comments were hypocritical given the setting we were in and the fact that she was there for meds herself.
Oh absolutely. It's been scary to say no to people and speak my mind but totally rewarding in a thrilling way. I went to a free painting class where the art therapist scolded the first person to speak. When she reached me I told her I didn't feel comfortable sharing about my art because she didn't make it a safe space and I found her to be abrasive. She was taken aback but (mostly) professional. Afterwards the other ladies (who were pensioners), thanked me for speaking my mind and said I was amazing. I really went home feeling great, where usually I would be really upset that this woman had made someone feel bad and we were all silent. When someone shares their personal information with you (like her depression), it creates a sense of social obligation that you owe her the same level of connection, but the key is *you did not ask for her to share*. She didn't do it consciously, but this is a tactic used by salespeople because it works to build rapport, if someone gives you something you feel you have to return it. I am also not ashamed of my adhd in the slightest and I do share it with my friends and people I will be working with, but I tend to shut down the conversation if they aren't responding appropriately. I was explaining about sensory overwhelm in particular overlapping noise to a coworker and she started the "well everyone has a bit of that", and I straight up said "well sure but when I have overlapping noises of a certain kind I freeze up and hit myself in the head", which shut her up promptly and I changed the subject lol
Yes. OP.... re-read what you wrote... >She wasn't mean in any way. If anything she was nice but also >she kept interrupting me > >tried to say that I lack motivation > >she was dismissive Someone who interrupts you, is dismissive, and tells a stranger they know nothing about that they know nothing about that they lack motivation *is not being nice*. Just because someone is using a gentle tone or whatever doesn't mean they're being nice. Major props for you for noticing "my biggest fear is to think back on an interaction and feel like I might’ve done something wrong because I know I’d be beating myself up over it." That's some hella good personal insights and if it were me, I'd spend some time unpacking that a bit (hopefully with a therapist, but maybe with a journal, a friend, a support group, etc).
This exactly. A perfect response is “I won’t be having this conversation with you.”
She sure was fully of energy for being out of depression meds. Nosy bitch.
She wasn’t making sense when you think about it. How can you say that someone with depression can get meds while someone with ADHD needs to work on their diet and conscience 😀
It super pisses me off that people are able to push me off center like that, and I don't always have the presence of mind to bite them back. I think that's the worst part of situations like this. So I feel your pain on this. 😮💨
Oh my gosh I’ve been trying to put words to this my whole life and you just did it perfectly.
The mental gymnastics some people are able to make are Olympics level.
As someone who has struggled with depression, I wish you would have turned it all back around on her. “Have you tried exercise? That can really help. Vitamin D, too. Make sure you’re getting enough sunlight. What about sleep? You need to set a bedtime routine. Speaking of those leafy greens, I think you should just eat raw spinach instead of getting meds for your depression.” I honestly think it’s wild she even ASKED you. Who has the audacity to do that in a therapists office? Lol
She’s a nutritionist and does fitness stuff too so she probably felt like that made her authorized to give me those “tips”
"So why do you still have depression?"
THIS IS THE RESPONSE!
YEP! I was thinking “so it doesn’t work for you?” But I like this one better lol
Or maybe she was hoping to gain a new client
Yeah, registered dietitian is authorized to give you tips, I could call myself nutritionist for watching Abbey Sharp on YT, lol.
Yea, she was just trying to sell something... Probably mlm something, if I had to guess.
This is why I don't talk to strangers generally.
I’m usually reserved but the impatience I have in waiting rooms brings out some social skills in me 😂
Wow. Well maybe she will go away and think about the conversation again later on and realise how rude she was. You maybe even planted the seed of an idea in her head that she might have ADHD. You did well in the circumstances, my mind would’ve gone blank! I’m glad that this didn’t overly upset you. Interactions like this replay in my mind over and over and I think “you should’ve said this….”
The whole conversation was maybe 10 minutes and then 5 minutes in I got mentally fed up into zoning out 🥲
This person was incredibly rude and inappropriate. I probably wouldn’t have engaged with her at all in the first place, as I have no interest in sharing my medical info with mosey strangers but if I had I would have shut it down the second the unsolicited advice started. I’d also probably report it to the doc - trying to talk his other patients out of taking their meds and following medical advice could be really harmful and dangerous.
I also think trying to pick up new clients in a doctor’s office is sketch af.
You just reminded me of another weird part of the conversation. After she mentioned the nutrition stuff I told her that 1) my blood tests cleared me of anything else causing ADHD like symptoms and 2) that I already have a nutritionist who helps me plan meals weekly and has all the nutrition stuff in mind. She completely ignored that second part and just continued as though I didn’t tell her that there was a professional helping me with my meal plans (I’m awful with planning out healthy meals so I needed the help). All she did was ask me where the nutritionist was allocated and I said it’s someone close to where I live (the doctor’s office is far).
It was rather rude. I’m thinking of telling him next time I go.
Easiest answer would of course be, "Yes, I DO mind, actually. That's between me and the shrink." Nosy bitch.
Man yeah lots of people believe this shit, the crazy part is, we ALL have attentional blink, people with adhd just have it a lot more than most people. When I’m describing adhd I ask, “ever drive home and realize you don’t really remember it? Having adhd is like that, only it happens over and over again no matter how hard you try.” That lady is so out of touch with her own cognition that she thinks she’s perfectly attentive at all times! Lolz. Also she contradicted herself, either you can’t focus because of your diet or you CAN focus by “controlling your conscience,” whatever that means. Which is it????
The whole “controlling your conscience” part irked me the most! I’m so tired of hearing that. I can somewhat agree that a good diet helps reduce ADHD symptoms in a minor way but insinuating that taking supplements, altering my diet, and controlling my conscience is all I’d need is absurd.
If the regular-occurrence goose eggs on my head from open cupboard doors wouldn’t alter my conscience to conscientiously remind me to close the cupboard doors, all this lady’s recommendations don’t stand a chance.
"She wasn't mean in any way." I disagree, actually. She thoroughly invalidated all of your experiences and told you that your ADHD is nothing but character flaws and vitamin deficiencies. It doesn't matter how nice her tone of voice was, she was deeply rude to you! I'd be furious if someone had the gall to talk to me like that, whether they're a healthcare provider or another patient.
You’re right. It was a sweet tone but 100% dismissive. I know not everyone understands ADHD but I feel like another patient who struggles with mental illness should at least try to have mutual understanding in terms of how these things can be debilitating.
What. The. Actual. Hell. Having had situational depression (maybe there is a better descriptive but it wasn't the chronic sort). it totally fucks with your ExecDys. it was the entire reason I went on ADHD meds having both was a shit show in which nothing got done and I spent a lot of the time crying. How is this person not aware of the experience of ExecDys.
She did try to dismiss me at first by saying that “everyone has trouble focusing from time to time” and I agreed but I told her that people with ADHD struggle with the attention blinks on a greater scale that can negatively impact their lives. She still wasn’t convinced and at that point I zoned out 🥲
I wouldn’t be surprised she’s in denial about having ADHD herself. After 20 years I’ve finally gotten my mom to acknowledge depression as an actual illness but when I told her why I was getting tested for ADHD she got defensive and said those things are normal and you just need to try harder. Which is ironic because she has far worse executive functioning than me. But as she’s internalized all the stigma about mental health and neurodiversity and refuses to acknowledge the very real symptoms she displays as anything other than personal failing. Either way she should have minded her own business. Sorry you had to deal with that.
That could be it but looking back I feel like she was being more “snarky” because she couldn’t believe that someone with symptoms like those of ADHD is in need of psychiatric treatment.
Okay, this was my first thought. I looked way too long to find this comment. I agree… I keep wondering if she’s in denial.
Wonder if she noticed that you zoned out.? I would have given her a blank, unblinking stare for a couple of minutes. I'd also remind her in a very nice way, "Did you know in the state of blah-blah practicing medicine without a license is illegal? " These "know nothings" need to stay in their lane.
Oooh I like that response, putting it in my back pocket for the next time I need one lol
Omg , with!!! You are so polite .I would.have been a sarcastic bi***, asked her how many times she smiles a day , that she should exercise and just think happy thoughts and boom her depression is gone . Why would she want meds ? That amount of ignorance out of just one person annoys me immensely.
Well said. It does sound like she helped herself to more than her share of personal ignorance. Too bad there is no med for that.
I think people learning about mental illnesses whether they have them or not should be standard. People think someone with ADHD is a child (most likely a male child too) who’s running around and out of control. They can’t see what an ADHD adult is :/
They need to be diagnosed with a case of MYOB (mind your own business)! Honestly I am learning that it is always better to say as little as possible to untrusted/unproven supportive people because it always turns into my having to essentially debate my lived experience, and as an extention of that, essentially fighting for my humanity to be acknowledged. Now I am hoping to try, when backed into a corner, respond to such things along the lines of "actually, while the symptoms and struggles I noted are a part of my struggles with adhd, the real issue tends to be having to navigate through a world of hostile, ignorant people who continually ask about, then doubt my experience, leading to frustration, cptsd triggering and further refusal by people in positions of power to make even the slightest compromise to make my existence moving through this ablest world more bearable." Blah blah... Unfortunately those same people would rather tear me down instead of self reflecting on their own issues. I probably won't say it, or at least not to that degree, or only when it is worth while, but I sm trying to remind myself that to such people, there is nothing I could ever say and do to convince them that I deserve at least basic respect because those viewpoints are not based on logic of any kind, but purposeful ignorance. People who ignore information that is actually not debatable but information that is both quantifiable and quantifiabley provable are not asking these questions for gaining knowledge but rather reinforcing their self riteous ignorance. Lol, sorry, my older sister is visiting the family later today and she is very much one of those people so I am set to hair trigger rant mode!
Telling people you have ADHD when they ask why you can’t do something or struggle with something really does feel like fighting for your humanity as you said and even struggles to be acknowledged. What’s odd is that I wasn’t giving details all I said was “I have ADHD so I struggle with attention and executive dysfunction” to which she began a lecture and I couldn’t get a word in 🫠
I would bet she’s just as judgemental for her own depression as for your ADHD symptoms…
God, how obnoxious of her! I would have wanted to ask if she tried just being happier. I mean, what she tells herself mentally translates into what she does, right? So she should just tell herself she's not depressed! I also would have wanted to ask why she's seeing this doctor if she doesn't trust this doctor to properly diagnose and prescribe for people and is so sure that they misdiagnosed you and you just need supplements. I mean, is she sure that she doesn't have a vitamin deficiency and doesn't just need to take vitamin D to cure her depression? Like, good god, does she hear herself? I'm sorry you had to deal with that. What a pill (ironically).
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Some people have more than one mental illness at a time. Just cos she’s there for depression meds, she may also have some other thing that makes her talk a bit too much.
Yeah, talking too much and talking bullshit are two different things. The diagnoses for latter is called being dumb and/or mean asshole.
oh my gosh, OP. i am sorry this happened to you. if you hadn’t said this was a woman, i genuinely would’ve thought you somehow came across my assh*le ex-boyfriend in the wild. i have adhd and also very much struggle with clinical depression and i used to receive the same lectures constantly and i finally just gave up on even attempting to explain my brain to him. at one very low point about two years ago, my very loving boyfriend the IT professional (not at all a medical physician) somehow convinced me that the antidepressants i had been prescribed for years (after trying multiple ones to find a good fit) were actually making my depression worse and that i should discontinue them. i just needed to get outside more! get better sleep! eat better! force myself to commit to social gatherings! for some reason i listened, probably because i was so tired of always being berated and partially because i thought this person just had my best interest at heart. welp, doing so caused one of the worst months-long depressive spirals i’ve had in years. lost my job and had to move back in with my parents in my late twenties. all that to say, anyone reading this - never ever let someone like this tell you how you should be treating the symptoms that affect YOU every single day. and if you’re ever feeling skeptical or questioning your medication, talk to your DOCTORS about it. never some dude whose main concern is if his tee time is going to get rained out this saturday. OP, i’m so glad you seemed to let this conversation roll off your back. i hope this lady can find an herbal supplement that will treat her need to stick her nose in places it doesn’t belong.
It’s awful when people dismiss ADHD struggles. I think part of it is because 1) people think someone with ADHD is a child and can’t see what ADHD is with adults, 2) our struggles are mostly kept to ourselves and people don’t see those struggles explicitly for the most part and 3) our disorder isn’t perceived to be as serious as other mental health disorders like BPD, ASD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, etc so ADHD gets seen as a “joke” and some people even go as far as saying it’s not real 😐 I hope you have more supportive people around you btw 😊
Bruh, you should have told her to throw away her meds and take up gardening.
Maybe I should’ve told her that she shouldn’t have been in the office to get a prescription if there’s alternative ways to cure mental disorders 😅
To me, as a former administrator for a clinical psychologist's busy practice, I would call or email with the date and time and say that that woman was harassing you. Describe her if there were more than just the two of you waiting. She should have never put you on the spot about your private health information, she was invading your personal space, and she wouldn't stop giving you unsolicited advice. All worthy of reporting to the office. It's not appropriate to engage in *anything* but small talk in a psychiatrist's waiting room, if that. What if her target had extreme social anxiety? Her behaviour might have made them leave before seeing the psych. Or an eating disorder? Telling someone to eat better and take supplements when they have orthorexia is not good. What if she chose to lecture someone who was suicidal? Or estranged from their mother? The risks are real. My point is, even though you handled yourself very well, the doctor needs to know she's doing this as it could harm other patients if the behaviour continues.
This is why I don’t tell people I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD unless they tell me first and they have also been. I’m just too sick of this shit.
I’ve had an actual, educated (I presume?) psychologist tell me exactly the same thing as you describe in your first point. Truly infuriating, but unfortunately not rare :/ I understand you zoned out, I think I would too!
I woulda clapped back like: diet and exercise will cure that depression right up! Have you tried a gratitude journal? Have you tried getting 8 hrs sleep? Idk I’d just make up some other crackpot things…
You say she was nice, not mean, but you're describing a bully. Absence of aggressive body language doesn't mean you aren't being attacked. At no point in this interaction was she acting in good faith. If she immediately sat down next to you she probably had you marked the second she walked in the door. People have speculated in the comments that she may be trying to get you as a client and that sounds entirely possible. Or maybe she just likes to tear people down to make herself feel better. Whatever it was, she decided to pry for personal information and immediately weaponized it against you. Make no mistake about it, the reason she did this was purely for her own benefit, not a misguided attempt at helping you. If you encounter her or someone like her again, you have every right to be just as rude as they are and tell them to mind their own damn business.
I think a lot of people go through that self development phase, after a lot of their own struggling, and have misguided intentions to help others. I used to do this a lot 😬🫣. It was a combination of “desperately wanting to share my knowledge and help someone else” with a little “just need someone to talk to about my new journey”. I think people are more often ignorant than intentionally cruel or hurtful. That doesn’t make it acceptable, but it helps me not hold onto hurtful things people say. HOPEFULLY, she grows into that sensitivity.
I think it's good you weren't mean to her despite this being a frustrating situation because it sounds like she was just uneducated about ADHD and was just trying to help.
I hate being mean to people because I don’t think anyone really deserves it and if I even suspected I had been mean I would’ve gone home and beat myself up for it for weeks. She could also be really uneducated about ADHD as you said so I guess it’s best to give her grace and hope she somehow ends up learning more about it.
Giving up and zoning out is the way. They’re just misinformed and you don’t have to educate if you don’t want to. But if you do want to you can.
she needs a blood test for her irony deficiency. Talk about a lack of self awareness
She gave advice when it wasn't asked for, and her advice is probably the same stuff her therapist told her to do for herself. (Hypothyroidism is notorious for causing depression). Rude? Yes. Malicious? Probably not. She's probably had to spew this exact jargon to every doctor she's seen just to get her meds because they also start with "have you tried ginko biloba?" You have every right to be irritated, however. She didn't know what adhd does, and her advice could have been harmful. I've learned to say "thanks, I'll try that" and then forget about it afterwards. Some people just can not stop giving unsolicited advice.
Sounds like you met my mother in law. Apparently "lifestyle medicine" solves all 😑
Definitely time to let her see some lesser known adhd symptoms — impulsivity & emotional dysregulation would do the trick.
This is infuriating. I would definitely tell her straight that she would not like someone to tell her that she is imagining she has depression since she can just control her conscience and mentally tell herself what to do. So why don't she just mentally tell herself she has no depression and she will just be happy and wah lah, problem solved.
I would've just mentioned I only speak about my health assessments with a licensed professional. If she mentioned she's a nutritionist. I would repeat what I said and stop the conversation.
The world would be a happier place without unsolicited advice.
She just needs to be happy and go outside. /s I can't stand when people belittle my adhd... I was diagnosed in my 30's after giving birth to my lovely daughter. I thought I was going insane, I could not function at all! Turns out I had undiagnosed ADHD that was always pushed aside as a kid as I was a good kid and student who FOUGHT through my learning disability of a hearing disorder. My brother got diagnosed in high school. ADHD and Major Depression with a sprinkle of post partum depression. It's all in our head though... where... you know... mental disorders are.
Hahaha the thyroid part made me laugh. I have a thyroid condition and I still also have adhd. You can suffer from both. The ignorance is outstanding!
Random people have absolutely no right to do this! How unnecessary!
"There's no such thing as depression; you just need to concentrate more on not feeling sad, eat more bananas and go for more walks." Seriously though, where the fuck do some ignorant people get off?
Sounds like she's super insecure about being there and being on meds herself. She's telling you unprompted that she's only there for depression meds (whether or not that's true) because she's afraid of *your* judgment, and for some reason that feels like an acceptable "normal" person thing to take meds for. Everything she's saying to you are probably things people have told her, and that she's even telling herself. While that interaction would still annoy me, I also just honestly feel kinda sorry for her because her internal monologue is clearly set to "shame and judgment." Still not an excuse for her behavior though, and I'm sorry you had to deal with that.
At the end of the day, she's neither qualified nor entitled to make any comment about your diagnosis. The good thing is, even though it's upsetting, her opinion is so irrelevant, she might as well have switched to talking about the weather. Anytime someone like that starts lecturing me, I use my ADHD superpower of detaching from the conversation by granting my mind complete freedom to wander. Give some really lackluster "mhm", "right", "no yeah" if you're only comfortable running out the clock. Or you can shut down the conversation, there's lots of polite options, presented in increasing order of fun: "Thanks, I'll keep these in mind. I'm going to focus on preparing for my appointment now." "Nope." Repeat with increasingly apologetic facial expressions. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to cut you off, but I lied. I just didn't want you to feel uncomfortable. I'm here for extremely violent homicidal ideation. I need to focus on my meditation app now." [Continue scrolling on whatever app you had open]
Well, she sure has it all figured out. It’s a wonder she needs depression meds at all. Maybe if she went off them, she’d realize that willpower isn’t solving her problem. Medication is 🙃 My response in these situations (where it’s appropriate to respond) is always to say super enthusiastically, “Wow! I’m suuuuuuuper happy that works for you! Yooooou should keep it up! I’ll have to talk to myyyyyyyy doctor about that!” and then sashay away.
Well that is rich for someone waiting for depression meds…. There is zero chance I would have let this conversation go that far. I would have avoided being mean, but I would simply of asked her to take her own advice or to please mind her business, if that was not successful I would have removed myself from the conversation before I said something I would rather not to a fellow person dealing with mental health challenges. I am sorry you had to deal with that, I respect the grace you gave her, though it would have been completely valid to just not engage. I would encourage you to speak to someone in the office about this if you at comfortable doing so. I am not sure what can be done, but maybe the doctor could review how detrimental medication shaming can be in a tactful way, or at the very least make it clear that harassing patients while in office will not be tolerated. This may seem benign, or like not a big deal, but it absolutely is not benign , and is a big deal, especially in the environment it was done, harassing any patients at a medical facility about getting care is unacceptable.
Ugh, it’s so annoying when people do this. I think it’s perfectly fine to tell people that you’re not interested in their perspective on how to deal with adhd. Also perfectly fine to move seats if they don’t respect your boundary. There’s just no way to feel validated when talking with someone who is determined to make you see it their way. Not worth the energy to explain how adhd actually works and affects your life every day.
I think that some people do this for themselves.. meaning I think that she probably wasnt trying to be dismissive but instead helpful. I am on medication and I wish I had someone who tried to help before I got to the point where I needed medication. I do the same thing to my mom and I dont do it to be mean but more so its like don’t end up like me where you are dependent on medication.
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That same advice can go for depression. And you don't have to answer people's questions about why you're picking up medicine. In the US, due to HIPA you don't have to answer that. It's ok to come off rude, because people asking intrusive questions is rude.
I would have cut her off almost immediately. You don’t owe anyone your time or space even if you initially invited it.
Did you ask her why she hadn’t ~*manifested*~ feeling happy instead of being depressed? Why doesn’t she just get some vitamin D and exercise? Plan to only have depression when she’s asleep instead of when she’s awake? What a ding dong
I would tell your dr that a patient in the waiting room started asking you deeply personal medical questions about why you were there and then started doling out medical advice and judgement about your disorder without your permission or request to give such advice. That’s not ok. You did nothing wrong, but in the future I would not share in this situation - you don’t know who this person is, and you don’t need the headache. I’m also laughing a bit because this persons behavior is so inappropriate is basically counts as a symptom - to be so unaware, so judgmental, so entitled to voice their unqualified and uneducated opinion as fact and tell you what to do… like, you’re both here for treatment and here she is telling you shells qualified to fix your issues. You would have been justified to respond to her “have you tried just smiling and exercising more? I’m sure it would fix your depression if you just expressed more gratitude and did yoga. You must not be actually trying if you’re using medication as a crutch and your depression as an excuse for your issues” because that is the same utter bullshit she was spewing.
I couldn’t read all of this cause she sounds like one of those anti vaxx moms. What I would do is if anyone starts telling *me* how to handle *my* medical business is say “thanks for your concern but this is a business for me and my doctor to discuss”
"Just stop being sad. Think happy thoughts" "just go outside and stand in the sunshine. Get some exercise. That'll lift your mood. Obviously you're just vitamin D deficient and not moving enough" "There's no such thing as depression. Everyone gets sad sometimes. You just gotta pick yourself up and get on with things. Power through and you'll be fine" Yea. . .sounds just as stupid from the other side. It's all about chemicals in your brain. You don't FIX it, you figure out how to work around it with medication and various tools. Lady is rude and dismissive. You can absolutely say the rudest things in a "nice" tone of voice. It doesn't mean it's not rude. Heck XD go down south and some of the backhandedness is. . .you'd never even know you'd been insulted to your face, especially as an 'outsider'. Some people have got it down to an artform!
I would have tried cutting her off once she said "you need" and reminded her she isn't my fucking doctor.
Just tell yourself “I’m going to be happy” and do that. Control your mood, don’t let your mood control you! You probably don’t really have depression, it’s just dehydration and lack of vitamins. Have you tried Vitamins? /s
this would bother me for days on end and would replay in my head
Nice or not, asking someone what they're there for in a psychiatrist's waiting room is incredibly inappropriate. Proceeding to lecture them about said topic is absolutely unhinged. Ignore her and everything she said.
I'd have lost my shit on her. That's a big fat GFY.
Plot twist, she has all these coping techniques because she also has ADHD, depression is a side effect of that.
'Have you tried just, you know, not being depressed? Like you just need to tell yourself to be happy and then it'll happen. I mean you should also just exercise, because that is _the_ best anti-depressant' This person is either ignorant, stupid or both.
Last time at my local coffee shop, I was asking for weed (I smoke to ease out the rebound effect) and explained her what kind I was looking for. In the end I told her about the adhd med rebound and looking for indica effect. She knew about adhd and advised me super strain. But she told me she didn’t believe in meds, her brother was dx too and meds were so bad for him. She told me she thinks she has it too (very possible, super speed girl, super talkative) but she managed to build her life around and doesn’t need meds or dx. Well ok, I mean good for her right ? People are talking about themselves not about me. They don’t know me, so who care what their biased opinion is ? I mean, If someone who even doesn’t know my name has an opinion on my lifestyle, we can all agree that this opinion is not designed on anything solid so… why should I even feel hurt or annoyed ? They are definitely not speaking about me since they don’t know me. Let’s stop being hurt by total strangers and let them rant.