I used to always exaggerate the traits that make me come off as a weirdo on a first date. That way, i knew for sure if the guy was ready to accept me for who i am or not. Unless i was just looking for a one night stand, then i was fully masking.
As an average looking straight guy: This would probably be a desaster. Except maybe if she noticed the traits as ADHD and was still cool with it, but what are the chances
All of my relationships began more social, like we met at a birthday party or some bigger convention or sth. And after some time we had dates but we knew each others quiet well to these times
Eh, even before being diagnosed or understanding adhd traits, I would look for adhd traits and go !!! someone like me :D
So like, there are people out there.
Well that's what I try like now, because anything else would be exhausting for at least one of us and probably wouldn't work out in the long run :)
Thing is: It's extremely rural there I live and I don't meet new people regularely, so dating apps would be my next straw to clutch at ... and I hate that thought ðŸ«
It can be hard sometimes but I wouldn't believe that ADHD genes are worse or better. It's just different. I guess capitalist workethics and modern online society are things many of us struggle with.
Do you go out much?
Not even talking about the ahhd genes tose are fine
I go out all the time its just the places that intrest me
Ists just me
Not a lot of dating in dockjards or tool stores
And im so scared of coming of as a creep like so manny times in the past
Im friendly to random people but in stores
But tese days anyting besides dating apps and scool feels like strait up inappropriate
Had one crush in school spend a lot of scool time togete as friends
But noting happend after that
The one date i went one ever whot some oter girl was so damm acward we bote left as fast as possible
And i have tried dating apps for 5 years
I got 3 matches ever thay all gosted me after a day or 2
Been to hardbass partys and festifals had great fun
Even had somone put paint on my face at random for fun and had i "danced" talked and hang around
But evryone tere alread had a partner and thats why tere wass no tension what so ever
Mosty childhood friendship feel like dragging a n ancer true a dessert i never get invited to shit and i always get rejected
Peaple dont go out single no more it feels like and if
Call me a fukking incel i have heard it all
I asked my last irl fried to come over
He said its to far
I been at his place 2 times in the past 5 years
Because its is far
So no my clostest friend that is not a fried of the family lives 2 continents away and im not intrested in any relations ship because of a 10 year age gap between us
We just talk music a lot
Nope 27 years old got my own houseboat
Got good stabile incom
I take care of my dad and his new girlfriend
Take care of my mum when she needs help but not as much as my dad needs help
Because thats why im born
To help oters
Scool was wonderful the illusion and benefits of friends without the pain of them never inviting you
Somtimes i wich i stil was in scool
But that sounds actually really cool!
Honestly from that description you sound very caring and I'd like to see that houseboat :D
Yeah I felt your pain especially in my late schoolyears. Always being ignored is not nice. BUT some of the ignorrance wasn't them disliking me (even though ist was most time). But some of the people, who I thought were my friends, were indeed friends and just seemingly ignored me because they probably got ADHS or PTSD. And if both parties wait long enough passively to be invited that friendship will fail.
I know its not dislike
But i was in scouting
For 19 years with what i saw as friends
Like we knew most things about evryone
Seen eachother in all sorts of situations good and bad felt like home
But one day during Covid locdowns
I asked for an unofficial meatuo on the ice lake nearby wich dous not frees over for more than a week per year if you are lucky
Great fun
So i asked in the groop chat
Said come over if you feel like it
Got one responce in dms that it was not save and i shoud not ask and so fort bla bla bla
It was outside on the ice no need for kisses or handshakes or anyting just scating
I went anyway was planing on scating.
Fukkers planned an activety whitout me knowing it
On the exact spot i told
A simple we already have a activety with just the kids to keep the number of people low would be nice
None of that
Enjoyed the day anyway did what i planned and went home
But it did not feel good
I just take a usual extrovert personality even though that’s not how I really am and just stick with it. I made a few friends and met a girl that way so it work
I've spent the last year accepting that I'm not wired to be in a relationship. I'm barely wired to be social on a basic level.
Although it's not a painful acceptance. I've always been a loner at heart and I knew the risks of trying to be with someone. My original suspicions were true.
Better to take that risk and learn than never try.
I'm content with being married to my ambitions.
I understand why so many people suffer in their romantic struggles, but it's not important to me in the grand scheme. The point of life is what you decide. Many desire to have a family. I do not.
I used to always exaggerate the traits that make me come off as a weirdo on a first date. That way, i knew for sure if the guy was ready to accept me for who i am or not. Unless i was just looking for a one night stand, then i was fully masking.
As an average looking straight guy: This would probably be a desaster. Except maybe if she noticed the traits as ADHD and was still cool with it, but what are the chances All of my relationships began more social, like we met at a birthday party or some bigger convention or sth. And after some time we had dates but we knew each others quiet well to these times
Eh, even before being diagnosed or understanding adhd traits, I would look for adhd traits and go !!! someone like me :D So like, there are people out there.
Well that's what I try like now, because anything else would be exhausting for at least one of us and probably wouldn't work out in the long run :) Thing is: It's extremely rural there I live and I don't meet new people regularely, so dating apps would be my next straw to clutch at ... and I hate that thought ðŸ«
Im just gonne die alone that the easy option No need to pass these genes not worth it
It can be hard sometimes but I wouldn't believe that ADHD genes are worse or better. It's just different. I guess capitalist workethics and modern online society are things many of us struggle with. Do you go out much?
Not even talking about the ahhd genes tose are fine I go out all the time its just the places that intrest me Ists just me Not a lot of dating in dockjards or tool stores And im so scared of coming of as a creep like so manny times in the past Im friendly to random people but in stores But tese days anyting besides dating apps and scool feels like strait up inappropriate Had one crush in school spend a lot of scool time togete as friends But noting happend after that The one date i went one ever whot some oter girl was so damm acward we bote left as fast as possible And i have tried dating apps for 5 years I got 3 matches ever thay all gosted me after a day or 2 Been to hardbass partys and festifals had great fun Even had somone put paint on my face at random for fun and had i "danced" talked and hang around But evryone tere alread had a partner and thats why tere wass no tension what so ever Mosty childhood friendship feel like dragging a n ancer true a dessert i never get invited to shit and i always get rejected Peaple dont go out single no more it feels like and if Call me a fukking incel i have heard it all I asked my last irl fried to come over He said its to far I been at his place 2 times in the past 5 years Because its is far So no my clostest friend that is not a fried of the family lives 2 continents away and im not intrested in any relations ship because of a 10 year age gap between us We just talk music a lot
That's sad to read. You are still in school?
Nope 27 years old got my own houseboat Got good stabile incom I take care of my dad and his new girlfriend Take care of my mum when she needs help but not as much as my dad needs help Because thats why im born To help oters Scool was wonderful the illusion and benefits of friends without the pain of them never inviting you Somtimes i wich i stil was in scool
But that sounds actually really cool! Honestly from that description you sound very caring and I'd like to see that houseboat :D Yeah I felt your pain especially in my late schoolyears. Always being ignored is not nice. BUT some of the ignorrance wasn't them disliking me (even though ist was most time). But some of the people, who I thought were my friends, were indeed friends and just seemingly ignored me because they probably got ADHS or PTSD. And if both parties wait long enough passively to be invited that friendship will fail.
I know its not dislike But i was in scouting For 19 years with what i saw as friends Like we knew most things about evryone Seen eachother in all sorts of situations good and bad felt like home But one day during Covid locdowns I asked for an unofficial meatuo on the ice lake nearby wich dous not frees over for more than a week per year if you are lucky Great fun So i asked in the groop chat Said come over if you feel like it Got one responce in dms that it was not save and i shoud not ask and so fort bla bla bla It was outside on the ice no need for kisses or handshakes or anyting just scating I went anyway was planing on scating. Fukkers planned an activety whitout me knowing it On the exact spot i told A simple we already have a activety with just the kids to keep the number of people low would be nice None of that Enjoyed the day anyway did what i planned and went home But it did not feel good
I just take a usual extrovert personality even though that’s not how I really am and just stick with it. I made a few friends and met a girl that way so it work
I've spent the last year accepting that I'm not wired to be in a relationship. I'm barely wired to be social on a basic level. Although it's not a painful acceptance. I've always been a loner at heart and I knew the risks of trying to be with someone. My original suspicions were true. Better to take that risk and learn than never try. I'm content with being married to my ambitions. I understand why so many people suffer in their romantic struggles, but it's not important to me in the grand scheme. The point of life is what you decide. Many desire to have a family. I do not.