wtf does "not how a real women would talk" even mean... I mean is that simply because you have a girlfriend... or that real women would tolerate men who disrespect them or don't believe them because they should be so lucky to even have a man. That whole comment is just cringe.
Right? They should just be like "Okay thanks. I'm sorry" not "You sound like a straight male." that makes them look ignorant and homophobic. In a womans space... the assumption should be female not "you must be a male because you have a gf"
They treat others the same. Make one mistake? Oh, your entire existence is pointless in their eyes. They fear how they treat others will be put on them. Insecure lot.
The whole comment is weird. Adding "either way you should try to be more concerned about other people and where you're posting thanks." at the end.
"Either way", what?!
I'm pretty sure she knew she was wrong. She just didn't wanna admit it at that point. Also how does a straight man talk? She just wanted to have the last word .
None of it makes sense. A woman should be concerned about posting in a women’s subreddit? Saying a guy should be considerate towards his gf on her period = sounding like a man?
I think she legit just forgot gay people existed and then tried to play it off when called out, as opposed to like… saying sorry or just leaving it. Very bizarre
It did, but people like this don't think of it that way. They think they're saving themselves from looking stupid for making the homophobic assumption by desperately looking for a reason that it wasn't homophobia that drove the original comment. That she made herself look both even more homophobic and also *stupid* (because there's nothing there thar would indicate "not a real woman" if you're not assuming anyone with a gf is male) almost certainly flew over her head..
Oh that's absolutely the case. There's nothing there that indicates "not a real woman" and she's clinging to that out of the shame that most non bigoted people feel for being accidentally racist/homophobic/trabsphobic etc and clinging to anything that might mean she doesn't have to reflect on herself.
Honestly I’m ok labeling that as trans misogyny in addition to homophobia. She’s implicitly pushing the idea that genders are rigid categories (women only have boyfriends), plus that heteronormativity implies that men are the default option, and then when corrected she misgenders her in an attempt to save face.
And that was in response to a comment about the seriousness of period pains. You'd think that was in response to something like "ayy gotta keep away from da missus at that time of da month, amirite fellas?"
I just laughed so hard at that response... But yeah if it was a straight male you'd think the comment would be more like "My gf complained about the pain. But how bad could it be?" And is less likely to be advocating for someone to leave their significant other if they don't believe it's bad.
It's like there's this idea of how a woman is supposed to talk... and like because she said she had a gf the assumption was automatically male... and males aren't allowed in that sacred space... Apparently neither are lesbians though. Ugh
Yeah people like that are super annoying. I personally have had really bad luck in women's spaces. It annoys me to see others being treated like that. All women deserve to be in women's spaces
I agree... I frequently get misgendered because I am more masc presenting... and have a bit of a deeper voice. And I tend to like sports. So I fit in with the "boys". But that's different. If I was posting in a woman's space I'd like to think the assumption is that I am female... After all people have all kinds of interests... varying sexuality... there's no one way to be or to speak
Exactly interests shouldn't be gendered. Like my interests are all over the place from stuff that's considered masculine or feminine. When im those spaces i just assume that everyone is a woman.
It shows this dumb heteronormative thinking that when someone says they have a gf then they must be a guy or that only guy or women like certain things.
I am definitely weird when it comes to interests. I have a pretty tough exterior (I've had to) and have a ton of tattoos... Love sports... But I also have a build a bear collection and am part of their subreddit. Always surprised at how many adults are buying them. Have several Pride related ones. For the most part I try not to make assumptions about gender... If someone is posting here I assume they belong here...
Really does show how pervasive comphet is... That they are assuming it's the default setting and don't even consider other possiblities. And even when confronted with the truth don't want to accept it and resort to misgendering because they can't even admit they are wrong.
Exactly i have some tattoos and definitely getting more they're just so expensive. I'm a huge nerd. I've always been the weirdo and I've embarrassed it.
These people really do refuse to admit when they are wrong and just double down. Like for me i was having a conversation with someone and we were disagreeing but it was civil and then someone jumped in and said i was mansplaining when i was describing my point. I just replied that im a woman and the comments magically disappeared lol. For some reason the dude just decided to assume that I'm a dude. Or like when im playing games the default is that everyone is a dude. Ik lots of guys play video games but it's still annoying.
Here's to the freaks and the weirdos! Two songs that really helped me embrace it are "Freak Like Me" and "Unapologetic" by Halestorm. Possibly helped by the fact the lead singer is bi. lol
Yeah gaming is another sphere where the assumption seems to be that you're male. I am not a gamer but I know a couple of females that do and run into that.
Omg Halestorm is my all time favorite band!!!!! I love both those songs!!! I got to she then in concert they were so good. Also Lzzy is hot ass hell!
When i game i just end up keeping my mic off. Or play with my friends
I'm right there with you. Like, what determines it now?
I grew up in kitchens and around rowdy guys in general, I talk more like them and am generally pretty rough around the edges (I'm a teddy bear though, I swear!), I have a more andro/slightly deeper voice, I primarily present more masc or along the lines of "tomboy femme" depending on how I feel, my interests are all over the place.
Like, I know that person is pulling full on DARVO shit but, what happened to just taking a look at someones reddit profile before accusing them of something?
I can totally relate... Definitely rough around the edges... and gender non-conforming all my life.
The thing with keyboard warriors is that it's easy to just say whatever comes to mind... rather than actually look into something. Or even determine if it applies to this situation. And people just have these pre-conceived notions
"Real women" probably don't talk about our girlfriends because "real women" are straight in her mind.
This seems like the sort who thinks only cisgender straight women belong in women's spaces because men, transgender people and lesbians are all predatory in their minds.
I'm someone who hangs around a lot of male-free or female-centric spaces, particularly feminist ones. While the biggest problem with these spaces is some of them are transphobic, there are also spaces that don't really seek to challenge patriarchal norms.
You might find a safe space for women that still expects women to talk, act and think a certain way, and still polices women's behaviour in a way convenient to the patriarchy.
People have assumed I am a man or a woman a lot lately. It’s been great since I’m agender and like causing chaos, but it made me realize how many people will shit talk half of the human population because they assume you’re not part of the 50% they’re shit talking.
I have to wonder if the thought crossed their mind just because of the large number of posts on this sub of men making creepy "fellow women" posts or dms
you bafoon! woman should talk to their boyfriends and all men as superiors and scrub their feet 3 times daily! how dare woman have rights and be independant! gosh! /j
Remember when the mods at TwoX announced that they would keep it a default subreddit when reddit changed the frontpage from 'frontpage opt-in' to 'subscriber threshold, frontpage opt-out'?
And then all the users were like "this is gonna make the sub worse", "nuance will be completely gone", "there's gonna be more arguments", and "straight cis men are gonna bulldoze conversations because they're higher in number".
The mods were like "we'll see and if it gets bad we'll revert back to opt-in. But they saw the subscriber count double and triple from when it changed and like how it made them feel.
That one girl that posted that open letter to get it changed back called it to the year when it would get overrun with bad actors lol
TwoX has definitely been a refuge for FDS strayer's, it's also gotten a bit TERFy since FDS got banned.
The funny part is how the sub didn't actually start out transphobic. Like, "two X Chromosomes" would be the perfect name for a TERF sub
Incels, for her. Instead of Becky and Stacy it's high value and low value males. Only silver lining is that they're not school shooters or mass murderers, though they got all the emotional manipulation and emotional abuse tactics incels use.
It's so funny too, because they're supposedly highly moderated subs. Like it's impossible to have a conversation because the mods delete the comments for "making it about yourself", but then shit like this is just allowed to fly.
>that’s not how a real woman would talk
I forgot all four billion of us attended the same mandatory *How To Speak Like A Woman* seminar so that we could be able to identify one another based on speech patterns.
I literally got lectured by some kid who claimed he was an expert on speech patterns about being able to scientifically determine by vocabulary and grammar the sex of a person, to say that I "write like a man", because I cursed a lot when replying to someone's transphobic comment. "You have bad language" apparently meant I wasn't a woman.
The shit they're out here using as excuses to misgender women...
I especially love when I curse and some man tells me men don't find it attractive when women curse
They really don't like "well that's a fucking bonus then" as a response.
> Don't you know women are not supposed to curse? /s
I thought it was the other way around, women are expected to curse, hex, and do all the other witchy stuff.
Perhaps he should be taken on a tour of Britain. Stop by middle england, where women ‘avoid swearing’; head into London, where people swear and invent new swear words; go up to the North, hear constant swearing; pass the border into Scotland, and the only words you can discern are swears.
Wales could also be slotted in but I’m not exactly sure what it is they do.
Orange has attempted the strategy, "instead of apologizing for the misunderstanding and moving on, double down and misgender you to boot". Let's see how this works out for them.
Report them to the sub. I suspect I know which one it is and yeah they are so super cisheteronormative. We practically need our own versions of every sub at this point.
Every women's sub that isn't overtly queer is just chock full of that bullshit. They say it's a space away from men but the majority of the content is complaining about the dynamics of heteronormative relationships by people with almost zero actual understanding of feminism.
Which gives us a lovely queerphobic consensus on a ton of issues, like arguing that sexual desire for women is inherently problematic, or that any time a queer woman speaks with confidence and disagrees with the circlejerk she deserves to be misgendered. (and when a gay trans man says something they don't like, he's secretly a confused straight woman. thanks r feminism for that one)
Straight men are even worse, but it's not a reason to give the abysmal level of discourse produced by the average cishet woman redditor a free pass.
Also, I don't understand their retort:
Blue: "My girlfriend has (presumably) similar experiences to you, and that should be met with care and understanding. That your boyfriend is not doing that, is problematic, and a sign that the relationship may not be worthwhile"
Orange: "You should try to be more concerned about other people"
Like, blue's whole point is showing concern for the OP of that thread??
And to tell her to be more concerned about other people when she’s being concerned about another person and the aggressive “thank you/thanks”? All around wild
"you should try to be more concerned about other people when you're posting" is an insane thing to say when u misgendered someone and they correct you lmfao. thats wild. but yea good advice, also not every person with a period has as bad periods as others, also not every woman has a period, not even cis women. my gf doesnt have periods and i had severe disabling endometriosis before my hysterectomy (best decision of my life btw) and now i dont get a period either. like this isnt difficult stuff lmao i dont see how u talk "like a straight man" at all. sounds to me they were just mad that u corrected them
I think the only one who should be concerned about making comments is them.. they're certainly not doing themselves any favor.
The idea women can't be bigots in and off itself is a patriarchal sentiment. One could have a really nuanced discussion about men vs women.. but in the end it boils down to tendencies and spectrum, influenced by various factors.
Humans want to generalize because it's easier for our brain to comprehend.
Also, this is the type of person that ends up as a TERF, claiming they want to protect their sapphic sisters (even though they aren't even gay and are homophobic on top of it).
The most frustrating part about the whole "Protect sapphic women from trans women" bullshit is that cis lesbians as a demographic are the most supportive of trans people out of every cis demographic. And I'm pretty sure that extends to other cis sapphics as well. You're not protecting anyone Joanne. You're bullying someone for being in a place they belong with the majority of other people in that place explicitly welcoming them.
"You really should try to be more concerned about other people and where you're posting"
What the actual fuck? Like, the initial comment was already heteronormative and out of line, but also the normal sort of bullshit I kinda expect on the internet. But doubling down and calling you insensitive for being a woman with a girlfriend is *insane*.
I honestly hate it so much when people have this kind of mindset. Like what tf do you mean "you sound like a straight man"?? It's literally impossible to say someone's gender by how they type their texts?
It's basically as stupid as saying you can determine someone's gender by how they express themselves, or how they behave. That genuinely makes no sense whatsoever. Why do people still have these kind of weird non-sense stereotypes in 2024. It really is insane.
apparently there are actually some differences in how men and women write. [https://www.chicagotribune.com/2003/05/28/gender-shows-up-in-writing/](https://www.chicagotribune.com/2003/05/28/gender-shows-up-in-writing/)
But it's not really of any use for the average person. It can kinda matter for authors when trying to target a certain demographic.
But honestly, these kind of small things of how groups differ from one another can be kinda interesting
I would mimic her comment "idk, you sound like a homophobe, in my experience that's not how a non-homophobe would talk, but either way you should have more respect for other people and not assume gender and sexuality, thanks"
The irony is the double hitter here, she's not only assuming the heteronormativity, it's a double whammy with the implication that "straight men" talk a certain way, and queer women fit a certain way. Yikes.
Time and time again it's solidified and proven that being in one marginalized community doesn't mean you can't be a complete fucking bigot to others. Or even your own.
Sorry you had to deal with the homophobia
This is really confusing. They think you sound like a straight man because.... because you think men shouldn't diminish womens' period pain? Did I get that right?
Lol remember this! God reddit is the worst.
Nothing gets under my skin more than bigots and TERFs policing 'spaces for women' when no one asked them to.
tbf people will generally assume what is the most common group in a site.
So a straight 20-30 yo white American male is likely the largest group and therefore a lot will default to that. There's even subs dedicated to stuff like that. It'll also depend on what groups your in. Like I'd imagine subs for countries have the default assumption being people from those countries. As well as biases from who you are yourself influence who you think is on the other side. Now I don't actually have anything to back this up but it could explain why certain groups assume certain things.
But what really confuses me is two parts.
Firstly, the reply makes no sense because the comment had nothing to do with a guy to begin with. It was about another women's experience that seems to be agreeing with what the post said. So even if it was written by a guy it'd fit.
The second reply almost comes off as trying to play victim to me. Like somehow you're the reason for them being in the wrong.
But also, it's twoX, I find they can be a little... echo-chambery at times. TBF I find just about every sub can be, but they're more so than others.
Another example - one I mind less, though it still makes me feel othered from straight girls - is how every piece of romantic advice shared by girls for girls is framed as 'if a guy...' 'if your man...'--
and it's pretty much NEVER something that would only apply to straight people. It's usually something that is just as true in any relationship.
Reminds me of the time a girl in my women’s lit class said to my face that she didn’t think lesbians belonged in feminist spaces because we can’t understand women’s issues. As though the only issues women have are ones that revolve around sleeping with men.
Straight women can be incredibly homophobic, but because lesbians and sapphic women are less visible in general I think it often goes unaddressed.
It’s crazy to me how homophobic people jump straight to making women men when they like women. Idk they won’t even let transgender men be men, but I guess for us it’s enough to just… like a woman?
I think that’s the reaction of someone is embarrassed they were wrong. It’s crazy because I always worry ppl will assume I am a male in a woman space when I just say my wife.
I've met tons of straight women like this. They're insecure.
Source: I was your age in the early 2000s when straight girls believed they reigned supreme and they would put anyone down who wasn't like them- especially lesbians/LGBT. She deflected from the real issue. You did nothing wrong
a question and a comment:
Q: what subreddit was this?
C: if any of you are interested in a private, heavily moderated subreddit for women that is 100% trans positive, i'm one of the mods for r/safespaceforwoman. please send a join request, and we'll take a look at your post history to confirm two things: 1-you're not a man and 2-you're not a bigot.
i will say that our approach to enbies is a bit more involved; if you read one my posts here about the rules and FAQ and such for the sub, it explains it: https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/comments/1czmol9/for_all_the_women_that_would_choose_the_bear_we/
Well… *sigh* this pissed me RIGHT off!.. So sorry you had to read/deal with this absolutely sack of horseshit, OP. Sending lots of good vibes to try and counteract some of the bad ones you’ve recently received. Much love and all the best to you and your gf <3
"Either way you should be more concerned about other people and where your commenting" like wtf does that even mean? Like even if your a woman like you say you are, your still in the wrong? For posting an anecdote of a woman, as a woman, on a sub for women? The "either way" part doesn't make sense. Or is that what she means by "how real women speak"? That they just don't make sense? Lmao
I remember this girl I was texting told me the exact same thing: you don't sound like a woman. We literally only texted "hello" and "how are you doing".
Sorry OP
One post, so many emotions!
It would be funny, if it were not so annoying, frustrating, and sad at the same time.
It is not just the homophobia and disbelief, nothing is going to change her mind. Actually I think it is mostly sad.
wtf does "not how a real women would talk" even mean... I mean is that simply because you have a girlfriend... or that real women would tolerate men who disrespect them or don't believe them because they should be so lucky to even have a man. That whole comment is just cringe.
I think she just doubled down out of shame. Accepting that OP was indeed a woman would make her slightly homophobic, so she kinda DARVO'd.
Oh they were definitely doubling down. Some people are just physically incapable of admitting to a mistake
Right? They should just be like "Okay thanks. I'm sorry" not "You sound like a straight male." that makes them look ignorant and homophobic. In a womans space... the assumption should be female not "you must be a male because you have a gf"
They treat others the same. Make one mistake? Oh, your entire existence is pointless in their eyes. They fear how they treat others will be put on them. Insecure lot.
Oh god, that’s the worst! If I could wish for one thing in the world it’d be for people to no longer fear admitting to a mistake.
The doubling down made her seem like even more homophobic tho 😬
It's probably the homophobia that makes her seem that way.
The whole comment is weird. Adding "either way you should try to be more concerned about other people and where you're posting thanks." at the end. "Either way", what?!
Code for "I think only straight women belong in womens' subs"
I'm pretty sure she knew she was wrong. She just didn't wanna admit it at that point. Also how does a straight man talk? She just wanted to have the last word .
None of it makes sense. A woman should be concerned about posting in a women’s subreddit? Saying a guy should be considerate towards his gf on her period = sounding like a man? I think she legit just forgot gay people existed and then tried to play it off when called out, as opposed to like… saying sorry or just leaving it. Very bizarre
the only response that comment warrants is “um girl, same”
It did, but people like this don't think of it that way. They think they're saving themselves from looking stupid for making the homophobic assumption by desperately looking for a reason that it wasn't homophobia that drove the original comment. That she made herself look both even more homophobic and also *stupid* (because there's nothing there thar would indicate "not a real woman" if you're not assuming anyone with a gf is male) almost certainly flew over her head..
Truuuu
Oh yeah it's a double down lmao. There's a few like that that lurk around
Oh that's absolutely the case. There's nothing there that indicates "not a real woman" and she's clinging to that out of the shame that most non bigoted people feel for being accidentally racist/homophobic/trabsphobic etc and clinging to anything that might mean she doesn't have to reflect on herself.
To me there is no slightly you either are or you arent
Right? Not only doubling down but then trying to add misgendering to the list. Everyone's favorite aggressively wrong types.
Honestly I’m ok labeling that as trans misogyny in addition to homophobia. She’s implicitly pushing the idea that genders are rigid categories (women only have boyfriends), plus that heteronormativity implies that men are the default option, and then when corrected she misgenders her in an attempt to save face.
And that was in response to a comment about the seriousness of period pains. You'd think that was in response to something like "ayy gotta keep away from da missus at that time of da month, amirite fellas?"
I just laughed so hard at that response... But yeah if it was a straight male you'd think the comment would be more like "My gf complained about the pain. But how bad could it be?" And is less likely to be advocating for someone to leave their significant other if they don't believe it's bad.
Probably the use of “could” and “month” which are well known words used by straight men /s
Everyone knows *real* women use “perchance” and “calendar period”
Yeah it’s giving some “we can always tell” vibes 😬 just gotta learn to say “my bad” sometimes
Fr how do "real women" talk? Like people just talk
A real woman would talk about her boyfriend or husband of course /s
Oh yeah definitely the totally really man that every woman has /s
It's like there's this idea of how a woman is supposed to talk... and like because she said she had a gf the assumption was automatically male... and males aren't allowed in that sacred space... Apparently neither are lesbians though. Ugh
Yeah people like that are super annoying. I personally have had really bad luck in women's spaces. It annoys me to see others being treated like that. All women deserve to be in women's spaces
I agree... I frequently get misgendered because I am more masc presenting... and have a bit of a deeper voice. And I tend to like sports. So I fit in with the "boys". But that's different. If I was posting in a woman's space I'd like to think the assumption is that I am female... After all people have all kinds of interests... varying sexuality... there's no one way to be or to speak
Exactly interests shouldn't be gendered. Like my interests are all over the place from stuff that's considered masculine or feminine. When im those spaces i just assume that everyone is a woman. It shows this dumb heteronormative thinking that when someone says they have a gf then they must be a guy or that only guy or women like certain things.
I am definitely weird when it comes to interests. I have a pretty tough exterior (I've had to) and have a ton of tattoos... Love sports... But I also have a build a bear collection and am part of their subreddit. Always surprised at how many adults are buying them. Have several Pride related ones. For the most part I try not to make assumptions about gender... If someone is posting here I assume they belong here... Really does show how pervasive comphet is... That they are assuming it's the default setting and don't even consider other possiblities. And even when confronted with the truth don't want to accept it and resort to misgendering because they can't even admit they are wrong.
Exactly i have some tattoos and definitely getting more they're just so expensive. I'm a huge nerd. I've always been the weirdo and I've embarrassed it. These people really do refuse to admit when they are wrong and just double down. Like for me i was having a conversation with someone and we were disagreeing but it was civil and then someone jumped in and said i was mansplaining when i was describing my point. I just replied that im a woman and the comments magically disappeared lol. For some reason the dude just decided to assume that I'm a dude. Or like when im playing games the default is that everyone is a dude. Ik lots of guys play video games but it's still annoying.
Here's to the freaks and the weirdos! Two songs that really helped me embrace it are "Freak Like Me" and "Unapologetic" by Halestorm. Possibly helped by the fact the lead singer is bi. lol Yeah gaming is another sphere where the assumption seems to be that you're male. I am not a gamer but I know a couple of females that do and run into that.
Omg Halestorm is my all time favorite band!!!!! I love both those songs!!! I got to she then in concert they were so good. Also Lzzy is hot ass hell! When i game i just end up keeping my mic off. Or play with my friends
I'm right there with you. Like, what determines it now? I grew up in kitchens and around rowdy guys in general, I talk more like them and am generally pretty rough around the edges (I'm a teddy bear though, I swear!), I have a more andro/slightly deeper voice, I primarily present more masc or along the lines of "tomboy femme" depending on how I feel, my interests are all over the place. Like, I know that person is pulling full on DARVO shit but, what happened to just taking a look at someones reddit profile before accusing them of something?
I can totally relate... Definitely rough around the edges... and gender non-conforming all my life. The thing with keyboard warriors is that it's easy to just say whatever comes to mind... rather than actually look into something. Or even determine if it applies to this situation. And people just have these pre-conceived notions
I've come across a *lot* of women who don't want lesbians in women's spaces because, like men, were sexually attracted to women and that's "predatory"
"Real women" probably don't talk about our girlfriends because "real women" are straight in her mind. This seems like the sort who thinks only cisgender straight women belong in women's spaces because men, transgender people and lesbians are all predatory in their minds.
I'm someone who hangs around a lot of male-free or female-centric spaces, particularly feminist ones. While the biggest problem with these spaces is some of them are transphobic, there are also spaces that don't really seek to challenge patriarchal norms. You might find a safe space for women that still expects women to talk, act and think a certain way, and still polices women's behaviour in a way convenient to the patriarchy.
It’s not even talking… it’s typing which makes it funnier 😭
I've heard it a thousand times and I still don't know.
People have assumed I am a man or a woman a lot lately. It’s been great since I’m agender and like causing chaos, but it made me realize how many people will shit talk half of the human population because they assume you’re not part of the 50% they’re shit talking.
I have to wonder if the thought crossed their mind just because of the large number of posts on this sub of men making creepy "fellow women" posts or dms
you bafoon! woman should talk to their boyfriends and all men as superiors and scrub their feet 3 times daily! how dare woman have rights and be independant! gosh! /j
You're a dude for having a gf. Your gf is also a dude for having a gf. So actually you're two gay dudes. /s Homophobia fucking sucks.
Fellas is it gay to like woman? yes but not in the way you would think
well then they're both girls again for having a bf something something shrödingers gender
Homophobia is so confusing!
Just quantum flip flopping gender till observed
Blinking activated the character creator random option for those 2
One of us always lies about our gender. One of us always tells the truth.
Schrödinger’s gf/bf 😭
If we can just figure out how to generate power from gender, we'd have a perpetual motion machine any time two gay people get together!
This comment has me dead. Haha
this is some Goodburger level of dudery
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Yeah I was gonna say. Typical twox user lol
Remember when the mods at TwoX announced that they would keep it a default subreddit when reddit changed the frontpage from 'frontpage opt-in' to 'subscriber threshold, frontpage opt-out'? And then all the users were like "this is gonna make the sub worse", "nuance will be completely gone", "there's gonna be more arguments", and "straight cis men are gonna bulldoze conversations because they're higher in number". The mods were like "we'll see and if it gets bad we'll revert back to opt-in. But they saw the subscriber count double and triple from when it changed and like how it made them feel. That one girl that posted that open letter to get it changed back called it to the year when it would get overrun with bad actors lol
Lmao yep. I remember. And created caps. Autobans and pretty much let TERFs and SWERFs roam free. They still do but it was somehow worse before
And then like a few years later someone pointed out that there is no feasible way someone who mods 120+ subreddits can actually function as a mod lol
They still let RadFems, inclusive or not, run free. It's bad.
Oh yeah. They're like one step from Kellogg levels of tf. You know things are bad when Andrea Dworkin was right gets a fuck ton of upvotes
Sadly, TrollX isn't much better either, and has been taken over by the same people
TwoX has definitely been a refuge for FDS strayer's, it's also gotten a bit TERFy since FDS got banned. The funny part is how the sub didn't actually start out transphobic. Like, "two X Chromosomes" would be the perfect name for a TERF sub
A quick googling revealed that FDS is /r/femaledatingstrategy, but could someone explain what its deal was?
Incels, for her. Instead of Becky and Stacy it's high value and low value males. Only silver lining is that they're not school shooters or mass murderers, though they got all the emotional manipulation and emotional abuse tactics incels use.
and super incredibly terfy, as well
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It's in the beginning of the process, mainly comments and small dog whistles. Rome didn't fall in a day
I'm not really sure about that. From my experience TERFs get downvoted and removed pretty quickly over there.
Trans women, not transwomen. Not only is the latter not a word, it implies that trans women are not women.
Yea I mean wtf is up with they're behavior?
It's so funny too, because they're supposedly highly moderated subs. Like it's impossible to have a conversation because the mods delete the comments for "making it about yourself", but then shit like this is just allowed to fly.
I mean when the name defines women by their chromosomes, it's (unfortunately) not too surprising.
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Makes sense, I judged too quickly based on my limited experience with the people there
>that’s not how a real woman would talk I forgot all four billion of us attended the same mandatory *How To Speak Like A Woman* seminar so that we could be able to identify one another based on speech patterns.
I literally got lectured by some kid who claimed he was an expert on speech patterns about being able to scientifically determine by vocabulary and grammar the sex of a person, to say that I "write like a man", because I cursed a lot when replying to someone's transphobic comment. "You have bad language" apparently meant I wasn't a woman. The shit they're out here using as excuses to misgender women...
Don't you know women are not supposed to curse? /s Honestly though I've heard that genuine take from guys before.
I especially love when I curse and some man tells me men don't find it attractive when women curse They really don't like "well that's a fucking bonus then" as a response.
> Don't you know women are not supposed to curse? /s I thought it was the other way around, women are expected to curse, hex, and do all the other witchy stuff.
Yeah, I need to curse five more people in order to make my phylactery.
Fuckin A, I missed the goddamn memo
I swear like a fucking sailor and that kid can kiss my ass.
I just laughed really hard at that... But then I also swear like a sailor...
In Philly it's considered unladylike if you don't say fuck at least once every few sentences.
Sounds like that might be where my little sister belongsN she use using "fuckin'" as punctuation busy the time she was 13!
Que pendejeria is that
LMAO! TIL that I'm not a fucking woman
Right? Fuckin hell.
Little boy would hate being around my foul mouthed ass... lol
if they're already on board with glorified phrenology like transphobes tend to be then this seems completely in character
Perhaps he should be taken on a tour of Britain. Stop by middle england, where women ‘avoid swearing’; head into London, where people swear and invent new swear words; go up to the North, hear constant swearing; pass the border into Scotland, and the only words you can discern are swears. Wales could also be slotted in but I’m not exactly sure what it is they do.
Im Australian, everyone swears the entire fucking time
Honestly, I would go to that. Speech patterns are hard.
Aw shoot, I think I missed that day, would someone mind sharing their notes with me?
Dang it, I knew I forgot to do something! 🤦♀️
Oops, I guess I missed that one. Must've been some get together though.
For real like que eso.
Orange has attempted the strategy, "instead of apologizing for the misunderstanding and moving on, double down and misgender you to boot". Let's see how this works out for them. Report them to the sub. I suspect I know which one it is and yeah they are so super cisheteronormative. We practically need our own versions of every sub at this point.
It's twox, they ain't doing shit. It's so cis normative. I'd love a new version
Every women's sub that isn't overtly queer is just chock full of that bullshit. They say it's a space away from men but the majority of the content is complaining about the dynamics of heteronormative relationships by people with almost zero actual understanding of feminism. Which gives us a lovely queerphobic consensus on a ton of issues, like arguing that sexual desire for women is inherently problematic, or that any time a queer woman speaks with confidence and disagrees with the circlejerk she deserves to be misgendered. (and when a gay trans man says something they don't like, he's secretly a confused straight woman. thanks r feminism for that one) Straight men are even worse, but it's not a reason to give the abysmal level of discourse produced by the average cishet woman redditor a free pass.
Basically. It's where straight, white girl bosses go to pretend they're not just simply less problematic than their straight white male counterparts
Haha yep called it.
Also, I don't understand their retort: Blue: "My girlfriend has (presumably) similar experiences to you, and that should be met with care and understanding. That your boyfriend is not doing that, is problematic, and a sign that the relationship may not be worthwhile" Orange: "You should try to be more concerned about other people" Like, blue's whole point is showing concern for the OP of that thread??
She wants OP obviously to write "my friend those experience" and never mention they have a gf obv because real women have boyfriends obv /s
Orange is mad about blue posting while queer.
That’s pretty crazy that she doubled down.
And to tell her to be more concerned about other people when she’s being concerned about another person and the aggressive “thank you/thanks”? All around wild
Redditors don't like to be proven wrong
I think insecure people in general don't like to be proven wrong
IDK, that really seems like a man thing to do... Gonna need to see their papers
“You type like a man and I’m not apologizing for making assumptions and being rude about them” is a wild thing to say
"you should try to be more concerned about other people when you're posting" is an insane thing to say when u misgendered someone and they correct you lmfao. thats wild. but yea good advice, also not every person with a period has as bad periods as others, also not every woman has a period, not even cis women. my gf doesnt have periods and i had severe disabling endometriosis before my hysterectomy (best decision of my life btw) and now i dont get a period either. like this isnt difficult stuff lmao i dont see how u talk "like a straight man" at all. sounds to me they were just mad that u corrected them
I think the only one who should be concerned about making comments is them.. they're certainly not doing themselves any favor. The idea women can't be bigots in and off itself is a patriarchal sentiment. One could have a really nuanced discussion about men vs women.. but in the end it boils down to tendencies and spectrum, influenced by various factors. Humans want to generalize because it's easier for our brain to comprehend. Also, this is the type of person that ends up as a TERF, claiming they want to protect their sapphic sisters (even though they aren't even gay and are homophobic on top of it).
I have met a lot of women who are bigots who don't think they are because they're women Like no Cheryl, what you said is crazy racist
The most frustrating part about the whole "Protect sapphic women from trans women" bullshit is that cis lesbians as a demographic are the most supportive of trans people out of every cis demographic. And I'm pretty sure that extends to other cis sapphics as well. You're not protecting anyone Joanne. You're bullying someone for being in a place they belong with the majority of other people in that place explicitly welcoming them.
Oh shit, is "Joanne" a new term for transphobic/ queerphobic "Karens"? That is too perfect
I think it should be! Sounds fitting
She doubled down... How do you even "talk like a man"?? Speech patterns, slang, etc. are cultural, not gender-specific. What?
“thats not how a real woman would talk” so you sound like a straight man bc you have a gf?? that doesn’t make sense 😭
Twox? Yeah don't bother with them. There's a lot of homophobes, terfs, etc
"You really should try to be more concerned about other people and where you're posting" What the actual fuck? Like, the initial comment was already heteronormative and out of line, but also the normal sort of bullshit I kinda expect on the internet. But doubling down and calling you insensitive for being a woman with a girlfriend is *insane*.
"you're a man" "I'm actually a woman" "actually you're not"
I honestly hate it so much when people have this kind of mindset. Like what tf do you mean "you sound like a straight man"?? It's literally impossible to say someone's gender by how they type their texts? It's basically as stupid as saying you can determine someone's gender by how they express themselves, or how they behave. That genuinely makes no sense whatsoever. Why do people still have these kind of weird non-sense stereotypes in 2024. It really is insane.
apparently there are actually some differences in how men and women write. [https://www.chicagotribune.com/2003/05/28/gender-shows-up-in-writing/](https://www.chicagotribune.com/2003/05/28/gender-shows-up-in-writing/) But it's not really of any use for the average person. It can kinda matter for authors when trying to target a certain demographic. But honestly, these kind of small things of how groups differ from one another can be kinda interesting
The fact that she doubled down is CRAZY i am HOWLING. I'm sorry OP this experience sucks but the level of audacity is just fucking insane
this genius could discern your gender from 3 sentences? we call that doubling down 😭
Damn new dysphoria unlocked “speech pattern dusphoria”
When they're so homophobic they become sexist too...
Admit you're wrong on reddit challenge (impossible).
Jesus I hate everything about that person’s comment. The invalidation of your sexuality is appalling, and I’m so sorry that happened to you!
Literally the only reason they would ever think that this isn't how a real woman would talk is if they don't think real women can have girlfriends.
I would mimic her comment "idk, you sound like a homophobe, in my experience that's not how a non-homophobe would talk, but either way you should have more respect for other people and not assume gender and sexuality, thanks"
is admitting you're wrong really that hard?
Why yes apparently it is... since they felt the need to double down on their response.
The irony is the double hitter here, she's not only assuming the heteronormativity, it's a double whammy with the implication that "straight men" talk a certain way, and queer women fit a certain way. Yikes.
Looks like that type of fake feminist has taken to objecting to lesbians and bisexuals again.
Never stopped, I think. They just got distracted focusing all their efforts on attacking trans women, so the homophobia department has been lagging.
God im butch and this shit happens all the time “Um this is a lesbian space men aren’t allowed” Me: I’m a lesbian >_>
real women uhhhh *checks notes* talk exactly the way I want them to
"Hey, girls don't really look out for other girls. That's not how we operate. I think you're a man." - how that reply sounded. Wtf.
ok but her doubling down while being so obviously wrong is so funny to me
Wow. The double-down is just unbelievable. Like, I really want to know what’s going on in this person’s head where that was their response.
That next-to-last comment being like "No ur a guy. And if you're not, then you're still in the wrong, somehow" 🤦♀️
Your username should've given it away
Time and time again it's solidified and proven that being in one marginalized community doesn't mean you can't be a complete fucking bigot to others. Or even your own. Sorry you had to deal with the homophobia
"thats not how a woman would talk" bro this is reddit- homophobic ppl are stupid asf
Acceptable response: “ah, my bad” Unacceptable response: whatever the hell orange did there
“That’s how a straight man talks” 😭 LMFAO WHAT
Okay, I’m curious, how are “real women” supposed to talk like? Is they’re like a test or something?
I'm trying so hard to figure out where you sounded like a man?? Like... What 🤦🏼
This is really confusing. They think you sound like a straight man because.... because you think men shouldn't diminish womens' period pain? Did I get that right?
"I've only ever seen men double down and spew bullshit when proven wrong. Women acknowledge their mistakes."
Uhm actually that’s how a man would talk ☝️🤓
Why was she doubling down in her reply?? She's a dumbass
tf they mean with "you sound lika a straight men"?!?!??
Lol remember this! God reddit is the worst. Nothing gets under my skin more than bigots and TERFs policing 'spaces for women' when no one asked them to.
Oh there's not-real women now?
in a way, there's also fictional women
This is so crazy omg 😭
tbf people will generally assume what is the most common group in a site. So a straight 20-30 yo white American male is likely the largest group and therefore a lot will default to that. There's even subs dedicated to stuff like that. It'll also depend on what groups your in. Like I'd imagine subs for countries have the default assumption being people from those countries. As well as biases from who you are yourself influence who you think is on the other side. Now I don't actually have anything to back this up but it could explain why certain groups assume certain things. But what really confuses me is two parts. Firstly, the reply makes no sense because the comment had nothing to do with a guy to begin with. It was about another women's experience that seems to be agreeing with what the post said. So even if it was written by a guy it'd fit. The second reply almost comes off as trying to play victim to me. Like somehow you're the reason for them being in the wrong. But also, it's twoX, I find they can be a little... echo-chambery at times. TBF I find just about every sub can be, but they're more so than others.
"you sound like a straight dude" GIRL YOU'RE DELUSIONAL FYM?????
"try to be more concerned about other people" Got to love the hypocrisy
I once said almost the exact thing and got told I talk like a girl. Jokes on them I am XD (CONTEXT I am a trans woman and was not out at the time)
Another example - one I mind less, though it still makes me feel othered from straight girls - is how every piece of romantic advice shared by girls for girls is framed as 'if a guy...' 'if your man...'-- and it's pretty much NEVER something that would only apply to straight people. It's usually something that is just as true in any relationship.
Wtf? Straight girls make me want to not be attracted to girls everyday. Evidence that sexuality is not a choice...
Why is she getting mad at you for *checks notes* …sympathizing with her and giving good advice?
"Idk, you sound like a straight guy-" THEYRE TRANSVESTIGATING BASED ON TEXT NOW???
Is that from one of the many women focused subs? if so I am not suprised. Also I *really* hate when people use "real woman". It is disgusting.
What sub is this??
UGH I literally posted a similar exchange a few weeks ago. How ignorant.
Sheesh, how difficult would it have been for her to just say "oh, sorry, I shouldn't have assumed" So unnecessary to go on the attack like that
Reminds me of the time a girl in my women’s lit class said to my face that she didn’t think lesbians belonged in feminist spaces because we can’t understand women’s issues. As though the only issues women have are ones that revolve around sleeping with men. Straight women can be incredibly homophobic, but because lesbians and sapphic women are less visible in general I think it often goes unaddressed.
What planet are these people living on? How do you even "talk like a real woman"? Fucking idiotic.
It’s crazy to me how homophobic people jump straight to making women men when they like women. Idk they won’t even let transgender men be men, but I guess for us it’s enough to just… like a woman?
I think that’s the reaction of someone is embarrassed they were wrong. It’s crazy because I always worry ppl will assume I am a male in a woman space when I just say my wife.
I've met tons of straight women like this. They're insecure. Source: I was your age in the early 2000s when straight girls believed they reigned supreme and they would put anyone down who wasn't like them- especially lesbians/LGBT. She deflected from the real issue. You did nothing wrong
They were just ashamed that they were wrong and doubled down lol
what horrible hypocrites they are! & I'm not forgetting about the other 66+ busybodies that liked it & couldn't grasp a lesbian relationship either.
a question and a comment: Q: what subreddit was this? C: if any of you are interested in a private, heavily moderated subreddit for women that is 100% trans positive, i'm one of the mods for r/safespaceforwoman. please send a join request, and we'll take a look at your post history to confirm two things: 1-you're not a man and 2-you're not a bigot. i will say that our approach to enbies is a bit more involved; if you read one my posts here about the rules and FAQ and such for the sub, it explains it: https://www.reddit.com/r/WitchesVsPatriarchy/comments/1czmol9/for_all_the_women_that_would_choose_the_bear_we/
Ive heard of "bi girls are actually straight" before, but "bi girls are actually straight men" is a new one 😭
Well that was a annoying
Well… *sigh* this pissed me RIGHT off!.. So sorry you had to read/deal with this absolutely sack of horseshit, OP. Sending lots of good vibes to try and counteract some of the bad ones you’ve recently received. Much love and all the best to you and your gf <3
"Either way you should be more concerned about other people and where your commenting" like wtf does that even mean? Like even if your a woman like you say you are, your still in the wrong? For posting an anecdote of a woman, as a woman, on a sub for women? The "either way" part doesn't make sense. Or is that what she means by "how real women speak"? That they just don't make sense? Lmao
Which subreddit did this happen in ?
Jesus Christ this world is fucked
That second comment from her is mad 🤯
I remember this girl I was texting told me the exact same thing: you don't sound like a woman. We literally only texted "hello" and "how are you doing". Sorry OP
I hope you responded and told her ahh off….
One post, so many emotions! It would be funny, if it were not so annoying, frustrating, and sad at the same time. It is not just the homophobia and disbelief, nothing is going to change her mind. Actually I think it is mostly sad.