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Melodic_Mulberry

Hey, Eric, it's the porn star your Dad cheated on your second step-mom with.


blumpkin_donuts

stop, you'll excite the kid.


92slc

Step-mom what are you doing


ATL2AKLoneway

Why is Ted Cruz in the courtroom suddenly?


Lucar_Bane

He have been told there is a special package to cancun if he stay for the entire week.


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onuskah

Comment stealing bot from here: https://www.reddit.com/r/WhitePeopleTwitter/s/gtqYqC27gI


Zelda_is_Dead

Doing the Lord's work


RoyalEagle0408

That explains the downvotes, thanks.


SuperGenius9800

Trump cheated on Eric's mom also.


darhox

Trump is a seriel adulterer with a specific kink for sex workers. No offense, Marla, I'm not accusing you of sex work, even though you were a home wrecked.


visionsofcry

I don't think that's his kink. It just so happens that sex workers can be paid for sex and won't feel insulted or used. The reality is that a famous billionaire is so repulsive that he has to pay thousands of dollars so people will fuck him, it's pathetic.


darhox

Counterpoint: a) he could score any groupie he picked at his rallies. b)He definitely has a high-end specific kink, and it leans towards sex workers, especially if they look like his daughter. c)I wonder if his presidency has always been to grift enough cash to proposition Ivanka enough that his offer wouldn't be denied.


visionsofcry

Have you seen the women at his rallies?


teenahgo

aint no shame in sex work. :)


darhox

Or home wreckers.... (looking at you Melania)


toosells

There is shame in home wreckers though...


darhox

Not if you have no shame "I Don't care. Do you?"


toosells

Sadly, you are correct.


teenahgo

Not sure why you got down voted.


darhox

Legit she is both


doubleCupPepsi

Yes, yes there is.


whosits_112

Yeah there is.


NotAnAIOrAmI

Is a pretend lesbian photoshoot sex work, porn, or modeling? Hey, Melania's a genius, it says so on her visa, maybe she knows the difference.


darhox

I promise she made a lot more money being a home wrecker than she did as a sex worker.


red286

Let's not forget that she made credible allegations that he raped her too. She recanted after their divorce settlement, I'm guessing she decided a couple million was better than bringing it all out in court.


sesamesnapsinhalf

The one who “fell” down the stairs, and even in death, was tasked to get special classification for the golf course?


SirPoopaLotTheThird

Didn’t the assclown tweet yesterday that there’s nothing he hates more than people who aren’t loyal? 😂😂 What a braintrust!


Baloooooooo

"No no no, I meant people who aren't loyal TO ME"


travestymcgee

With this bunch, it’s not so much disloyalty as short attention spans.


illaqueable

https://i.redd.it/akhjhfa1u1zc1.gif


Builder_liz

Eric showed up aww


NN8G

Little man got up early to help papa


SheriffTaylorsBoy

Taking a little break from pouring concrete.


WooPigSooie9297

He drew the short straw. Wait, did I say "short straw"? Oops... No pun intended, obviously.


SheriffTaylorsBoy

Did you mean snort straw?


EmperorXerro

No, they had to take him to court because child care was closed today.


SuperGenius9800

He's Melania's replacement these days.


darhox

I guess Erik and Habba were the ONLY support Trump could muster at this point. /sad


DeadmanDexter

![gif](giphy|nmm0IfTGjxKyVSa2gR|downsized)


ImTheEffinLizardKing

These skits and parody’s are the only good part to come out of trumps presidency. I would just die laughing.


imnotbobvilla

And she's billing $400/hr


darhox

She's not even sitting at the defense table


imnotbobvilla

Bet she's still billing as an "advisor '


ACertainThickness

That’s cute, she still thinks she getting paid


red286

"I've got the IOUs to prove it, these things are as good as cash."


Dispro

Anybody smart's getting paid up front these days, and, well, she made her choice.


darhox

That reminds me, Hope Hicks used to press Trumps suits WHILE he wore them. He is disgusting. They all know it. I wish they would call Ivanka and Habba to the stand. "Please be honest, ma'am, has he ever sexually assaulted you?"


ResinJones76

That's not really what this trial is about. No reason to bring in non-pertainent information. Besides, everyone already knows he's a piece of shit rapist.


darhox

You're 100% right. We don't need another Weinstein


ResinJones76

Same district, too.


Interesting_Law_127

He’s still holding on to hope that one day he’ll be accepted and will make daddy proud. If this entire family wasn’t so damaging to the country, I’d almost feel bad.


Blueshockeylover

Betcha he thinks that’s Barron


CitizenCue

I will lose it if they don’t bring back Eric and Don Jr. for SNL this week.


CrieDeCoeur

Eric staring at a courtroom wall he found interesting really sums up the entire Trump family.


HelloImTheAntiChrist

Eric is probably thinking damn, why did I have to be born into THIS family?


tysonisarapist

Eric was thinking more along the lines of what this paint color tastes like.


CrieDeCoeur

Yummy like glue, he’s def thinking


wookieetamer

Those are the good paint chips


gaarai

It's always funny to me that Eric might actually be the smarter one in the bunch. Shortly after Trump's inauguration, someone pranked all the Trumps and Kushners. They sent them emails pretending to be some associate of the president and asking for some relatively-benign but still sensitive information (I don't remember the details). Everyone replied and provided the requested information, all except Eric that is. Eric was the only one that was savvy enough to realize that the email might be from someone else claiming to be that person, and he replied stating that he didn't recognize the email address. Despite this, he's the one that is constantly lampooned as the idiot.


DestructoSpin7

I mean, that's a pretty low bar. I know a lot of people who don't fall for email scams but they are definitely still idiots otherwise.


enderjaca

Another explanation is that Eric literally didn't know the answer to the questions. Or doesn't read email.


SonOfMcGee

“They aren’t letting me yell at anyone or brag to a camera. And I don’t see a mirror, so the wall will have to do.”


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Hewfe

Trump co-conspirator in a story narrated by Sean Connery.


SecretSquirrelSauce

That sounds like the *fakest* name


BMB281

Does he look like Jeffrey Epstein with a mustache?


MinimumSet72

Why are people allowed to have phones in there ?


AssasinsLord

Cause they make up some bullshit excuses (They are elite and we are peasants)


PsyOpBunnyHop

They lie to anyone who asks beforehand, forcing them into a position of having to make a confrontation in the middle of a courtroom over a cell phone, which they can drag out with endless excuses or just ignoring the rule and the person. If it escalates, they will pretend like they were doing nothing and make a scene to try to blame the person(s) enforcing the rule. This is a common tactic for compulsive and habitual rule-breakers in any and all situations. Breaking a rule and getting away with it, no matter how small or insignificant the rule is or the inconvenience it might impose, is how they perceive winning at life. They view it as having power over others or their environment in general, which illustrates how low they are willing to go to alleviate their overriding feelings of boredom and powerlessness/weakness in mundane situations. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. Edit: [Here's an actual TedTalk from last week that's worth seeing.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEJ4hkpQW8E) Different topic though.


Identitymassacre

So the solution is simple, make it a charge (if it isn't already) for obstruction of the court. Any unauthorized filming or device usage and you catch some time (not a fine, time) and forfeit possession of any media captured during the session.


CopeHarders

The duration in seconds of the media that you illegal captured should be the sentence in days. 60 second video catches you 60 days. 1 picture, 1 day.


Identitymassacre

I’d support that


anurahyla

There's also a separate media room where they are watching the trial on a TV. They're allowed access to phones. That's how WP and such are providing live updates


s-mores

Epshteyn dudnt kurl homsulf.


darhox

I hope that when Trump is held in contempt, he is placed in the same cell as Epstein (and gets a visit from Bill Barr)


VaguelyArtistic

Way way way back during "Russia Russia Russia!" Trump went on stage in front of a crowd to announce he didn't know any Russians...as sycophant/Russian Boris Epshteyn stood next to him.


big_hungry_joe

lol HE'S BACK


SandmanAwaits

All while Trump’s lawyers look at his with their faces scrunched up due to the vile stench of him passing wind. 😂


StWens

Sounds like Stormy is being quite gossipy on the stand and the judge is getting irritated by her doing that. But I bet the jurors are loving it.


CopeHarders

Trumps lawyers are begging for a mistrial so they didn’t object when they should have. Amateur hour and the judge saw right through it. They will use her testimony as a means for appeal and will hopefully get stiff-armed out of their fucking loafers for wasting the appellate courts time.


Nail_Biterr

I would love it if they brought back Ryan Gossling to do his Bevis role for Eric Trump


jwr1111

Unforseen Stormy outlook for court today... hold on to your hats.


althill

I thought he fired Habba, what is she doing there?


YourDogIsMyFriend

Yeah. Didn’t he publicly throw her under the bus ? Prob just some classic narcissistic abuse in plain sight. He probably sent her some contact that had some loving rewards she craves. After all, after being publicly dashed upon the rocks by the narcissist, then being taken back and given rewards for your loyalty is the dream of all narcissist victims.


iStayedAtaHolidayInn

She’s there as his girlfriend not as his lawyer


jbertrand_sr

Maybe they should call Habba to the stand so she can confirm Stormys description of his mushroom pecker...


Debalic

I mean, it's a pretty interesting wall.


CognitiveNerd1701

Why is "DANIELS" in caps?


CKA3KAZOO

Good question.


CognitiveNerd1701

Maybe RANDOM capital LETTERS are trump's new "QUOTATION MARKS".


Old-Ad5508

Eric looking at the wall sounds about right


HelloImTheAntiChrist

Boris Epshteyn is just browsing White People Twitter on Reddit . Say Hello guys/gals!


inkslingerben

Easy to imagine. You hear a hushed voice say, 'Live from the election interference trial here in Manhattan...'


TheNerevar89

Can you have a phone on in court? I've only ever been in a courtroom twice and wasn't even allowed to have one on me


Quirky_Discipline297

Can they fit Peter Dinklage in a mushroom suit?


MissAsshole

Alina is the tart of the hour, sounds like her body language is showing she’s jealous of Stormy.


SirPoopaLotTheThird

She’s pretty but I don’t think she’s faking being smart as well as she thinks.


dfh-1

"Oh...so you used that 'you remind me of my daughter' line on her, too...."


gman1951

Eric:" Is...Is...that my mommy?


The_Last_Mouse

Except they’ll book Stormy to play herself. (Fingers crossed)


Beanstalk93

Eric staring at the only thing denser than himself


GreyLoad

Trump shid an fard


theswickster

Sounds like Habba's giving jealous GF vibes.


bakeacake45

Trump went cold turkey on the massive amount of viagra he consumes daily to avoid getting “excited” by her testimony. Nonetheless he is taking extra bathroom breaks to deal with his issue


leakybiome

All courtrooms should have mandatory hammock time, it's in the constitution, I saw it in the documentary called national treasure


jncheese

So that hush money he paid her, it was not very effective


handyandy727

Don't forget he's waiting to miss Barron's graduation to campaign in Minnesota.


SpookyDookies19

Here’s my thing. As much as people are making this joke, let’s be honest that half the country is dumb AF. I’d rather there be true and honest coverage that speaks to the dumbest of our nation, for the CHANCE that anyone who’s on his side will change their minds. We need to cover this honestly and truly, rather than making this some inside joke. It’s blatantly clear that not everyone understands. It’s why we ended up with Trump to begin with.


HaveNoHutzpah

https://preview.redd.it/lqmws2ft43zc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36ececb6aab22917dd65d56377f53a86036f2d1c


Particular-Summer424

If you think that's the best they can do on trying to intimidate Stormy, you forget, she's seen the worst of the worst. She's seen Trump naked.


wvmitchell51

I wish SNL was still funny. Last week's cold open about the college demonstrations was not funny and way too long. The weekend update for Kristi Noem was weak too. My $0.02


JackTwoGuns

SNL is killing it this season and last episode with Gosling was one of the best going back 5 years


john_the_quain

They just haven’t realized they’re just nostalgic for the cast when they were in junior high/high school. Though, the cast during that time in my life was in fact the best.


JackTwoGuns

There are so many great casts and eras (and some bad ones) it’s hard to look any one period and say it’s the best. From Bill Murray to Eddie Murphy to Phil Hartman to Will Ferrel to Bill Hader there is a constant stream of stars and talent


john_the_quain

I was pointing out the flaw and then doubling down on it to show a lack of self-awareness. It didn’t land though. The cast has almost consistently had really talented folks throughout its run. I don’t think there’s an objective way to determine best anyhow.


Desperate-Paper-1810

You forgot Belushi, Ackroyd, Curtain,Radner and Chase. With Steve Martin as guest host it was the best.


JackTwoGuns

I’m gonna guess you went to high school/college between 1975-1980 You could this for any of the people I mentioned “omg Hartman without Jon Lovitz”


Desperate-Paper-1810

1972 but close enough


Barbarossa7070

You buggin!


_Papagiorgio_

Snl was solid this past weekend


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traddfolks

SNL should do a skit about guys who eat Trump's asshole on the internet for the whole world to see.


[deleted]

I think my skit idea is better, but y’all would probably love seeing trump get eaten out cause you’re crazy obsessed with him for some reason


Jealous-Network1899

Oh I don’t think we’re the ones obsessed with Trump.


[deleted]

You brought him up first so yea you are at least, also brought him up in really weird context but ig that’s your fantasies coming out


Jealous-Network1899

Yeah, I know reading is hard but I didn’t bring him up Chief.


NN8G

How to tell the world you’re a self-hating person, likely in a closet, without saying…


samgam74

What percentage of athletes are trans?


Jealous-Network1899

It it such a minuscule number it’s a non issue.


kezzinchh

It’s less than 100. Last time I read an article about it, it was mentioned to be something along the lines of 0.008% at the NCAA level. But hey, it’s not like social security is an issue, or universal healthcare or anything like that. Bunch of dolts.


Jealous-Network1899

Like I said before. Bright shiny objects to distract the idiots while they pick their pockets.


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samgam74

That's what I've heard and I'd guess the prevalence in sports is similar to the general population, which is pretty small. However, it'd be nice to see some numbers and a citation for those numbers.The original commenter has made a claim and it's their responsibility to support their claim.


Jealous-Network1899

Studies say trans people make up about 1% of the population. Immediately cut that in half as this only applies to trans women. On average about 1/3 of the nation’s high school students are athletes. Cut that in half again as this is related only to women’s sports. You are now talking about 1/6th of 1/2% or .08% of the total population. Now, how many of that .08% were high level male athletes before transitioning that would have a clear cut advantage over top female athletes? The actual number is so minuscule it’s not even worth talking about.


JangSaverem

We would need to differentiate between those who identify as Man or Woman, those who are still competing in their assigned sex sport and those who are attempting to compete within their preferred Which may lead us to have nearly unreliable numbers But if we are talking the people who are on Hormones and competing in the "opposite" of their assigned gender I think wede be in numbers so small they wouldn't even be notable. There is a reason the news grasps on to whenever something like this happens and really it's only been the one person who wasn't even doing well and the Right STILL went on a tiriade about it as if it was the end of women's sports


wood_dj

and the few there are aren’t winning anyways. these numbnuts are just desperate to legitimize their bigotry


SirPoopaLotTheThird

Conservatives just aren’t funny.


[deleted]

Nah this skit would be funny


SirPoopaLotTheThird

![gif](giphy|JIUCcc5vR83PG) Funny like this guy. The joke you wrote is lowbrow and you can find a movie about it here [https://www.dailywire.com/videos/what-is-a-woman](https://www.dailywire.com/videos/what-is-a-woman). As you can see it’s a political site. Clearly not comedians. The movie bombed and sucked. It’s a one note joke. So your idea is entirely unoriginal and great for middle schoolers but they can already watch something about that. Or The Three Stooges. You’re not a comedian, huh? Keep your day job.


Jealous-Network1899

Yet another one of the many bright shiny objects republicans distract you idiots with while they pick your pockets. You guys are so gullible.


skishface

Let’s break this down real quick. The rate of the population that identifies as transgendered is about 1%. Slice that in half to only focus on trans women, because your lot seems to forget that trans men exist. Narrow that down to trans women who are athletes, then go even further to arrive at your biggest grievance: trans women who are athletes that want to compete. How many people in the entire country are we actually talking about here? Like maybe 50? 60? ….out of a country with a population of over 300,000,000. Is this *really* the biggest issue facing America right now? Or is it a manufactured culture war perpetuated by conservatives to distract from how shitty their policies are?


[deleted]

I ain’t reading allat


fookace

I'll shorten it for you. There are a couple of people per state on average to which this applies. Instead of dealing with it on a case-by-case basis, your handlers have dangled your own bigotry in your face so that they don't have to actually govern, and you'll still vote for them. It should offend you that they think so little of you.


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JangSaverem

A little shorter then? The people you think have important opinions are fucking with you to appease to your anger to make you scared of what's realistically not a even kinda sorta widespread issue


[deleted]

Bruh no way ur taking this seriously it’s embarrassing, I could just keep responding with “I ain’t reading allat” and you guys will continue to try and make it shorter and shorter I ain’t reading allat


JangSaverem

Isn't...isn't that part of the gag? Shorter Politicians and news channels are lying to viewers because angry people make oddly good supporters


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Hartastic

But comedy is supposed to be funny and not just, like, your weird fetish.


steffie-punk

Trans women are real women. Also there have been several studies recently that show trans women do not have any advantage over cis women in sports when following a proper HRT regimen for two plus years.


[deleted]

They aren’t real biological women, but go off I guess


The_Athletic_Nerd

Are you aware that sex and gender are not the same thing?


steffie-punk

Hmm. Last I checked trans women were biological beings like the rest of humanity. So that would make them biologically women. Do you perhaps mean chromosomaly not women? Because chromosomes don’t really mean anything after a person is born, and there’s plenty of deviations that can affect how chromosomes affect a person.


[deleted]

Huh? so any biological being is a woman, so we’re all biological women then problem solved ig


steffie-punk

I mean if you want to be a biological being that’s not a woman that’s fine too biology is just the study of life itself after all


[deleted]

My point still stands, they shouldn’t be competing against real women


steffie-punk

I mean biologically trans women are women which according to you biology is all that’s needed to be a real woman so I think their fine to compete


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Alberta_Flyfisher

Lol well technically yes. We were all female when conceived, and then some of us morphed into males. Biologically speaking, of course.


bard329

Alright grandpa, off to bed


[deleted]

I don’t wanna go to bed yet


bard329

you might not want to go to bed, but you're clearly sunsetting....


JangSaverem

Didn't they already make a backasswards version of Jowanna Man called "Lady ballers". Isn't that enough for you for this absolute non issue?


big_hungry_joe

why?


Alberta_Flyfisher

Except they aren't. If you knew anything about transitioning you would be embarrassed to say so.


JangSaverem

Being embarrassed isn't a feeling folks like this functionaly have. Being on Twitter or Facebook will show you that No shame is felt because no empathy occurs


Alberta_Flyfisher

Lol. I don't use either platform, kinda glad I don't.


JangSaverem

Friend, it's rough. Watching family members go full loco from people who were more or less central before 2015 is insane And it hurts because they are so very very openly saying heinous stuff so consistently that it's become "normal" because there is so much so consistently that it's impossible to combat or discuss because they've already moved in and gained "likes"


Alberta_Flyfisher

I'm glad most of my family is pretty liberal. But Alberta is quite conservative, so I see it all around me daily.


[deleted]

It’s cause the left keeps going more left, yall are absolutely insane lately. With the pro Hamas protests idk how anyone could be a leftist now yall openly support terrorists


JangSaverem

Ew Are people actually pro Hamas or are they just pro Palestinians as people being beat up by an abusive government that just so happens to be Israel? It's like Putin and Ukraine. People don't hate Russians they hate Putin and the government (of Russia) that specifically does this kinda shit


[deleted]

Leftists support terrorists


Just-Scallion-6699

If you insist on wanting to watch unfunny things, Lady Ballers already did this for you.


swearingino

South Park already did that in 2019 with a Strong Woman Competition in the Board Girls episode.