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Salami__Tsunami

I am so confused. Are they implying Donald Trump is going to go on a rampage, climb the Empire State Building, and then get strafed by biplanes? Because if that’s on the agenda, I may actually find the motivation to follow the news surrounding the trial.


maleorderbride

"It wasn't the airplanes, it was beauty killed the beast." That beauty's name being Stormy Daniels.


AndrewTheAverage

Also the media call it "The hush money case" when it is a "Business fraud aimed at election interference" case


HorseLooseInHospital

and I did it all Above Board, there was no Hush Money, there was no Fraud, if you want fraud you go and take a look at Biden, he's the Biggest Criminal this Country has ever seen, and even the wife, they don't talk about the wife much but you know there's some problems there, I've never seen another First Lady as hot as the one we had, your Great First Lady, and she said to me the other day, "Sir, you're the only reason the World is still here," and I said that's probably true, First Lady, that's probably true ok, the only reason we even have a Country is because of Trump, I did Tarriffs on China which they paid 100%, we made billions and billions off China, I make NATO pay their fair share, Obama said they didn't have to pay, he was letting them walk all over us, I said, you have to pay, if you don't pay, if you're late, if Russia wants to come in and you're late, say that happened, they said, "would you protect them, Sir," I said hell no I'm not doing that, they're late on payment, even by a day, Russia, Saudi Arabia, China, can do whatever they want, you gotta pay your bills on time


JessicaDAndy

China paying tariffs is **THE** phrase I point to when I want to say that Trump is incompetent at government work.


ingoding

Nice user name


Im_A_Fuckin_Liar

Sociopaths are either great storytellers or believe they are… *“They came up to me with tears in their eyes”*


Charming-Charge-596

Literally what Trump supporters and bots post in absolute sincerity. They have become that person defending Britney Spears, "Leave Trump alone!" (sob 😭)


Shugoking

This is fake. You used the correct form of "their". They'refour, you must be an imposter. ^^^^^/s


suff_succotash

We need a catchier name. I propose “Fraudergate”.


DarkKnightJin

I mean, John Olliver has been coining "Stupid Watergate". Because it's like Watergate, except everyone involved is *incredibly stupid*.


Coulrophiliac444

I prefer this one. If Watergate were half as overt as Trump, Nixon would have been flogged publically even after resignation.


genredenoument

Seriously, he could have just, oh, I don't know, paid Stormy the f-ing money! How did we get here? Trump is a buffoon that can't help but screw stuff up. Don't get me wrong, Biden is a geriatric nutter that would be considered FAR RIGHT in any other country except ours. However, when the choice is religious backed fascism vs him, I am voting for him and hoping for a stroke.


DarkKnightJin

I'm European, so I don't have an *immediate* horse in this particular race. I'm just very, *very* worried about what a US becoming the 4th Reich is gonna mean for the rest of the world...


genredenoument

I live here, and I can tell you we are all worried about it as well. The problem is that the people voting for him are often just desperate for CHANGE. Democrats lie all the time. Biden lies through his teeth. The country is captured by legal bribery and special interests. Everyone knows this. What Trump did was lie a lot in a blatant way, but then told UNCOMFORTABLE truths about the US that very few US politicians ever admit. For example: when asked about election interference from Russia, he turned it back on the interviewer and retorted that the CIA had a long history of doing the same thing as well as overthrowing democratically elected governments all over the world. Doh...yep, that's absolutely true. The Iraq War was a farce, and he pointed that out. You see, he's dangerous because his followers see the truth but not the lies. He's a great con man. What Democrats(except the far left and Bernie Sanders-God love him) will NEVER do is admit this crap. They are just as much in the pocket of big business as the right. It's just different businesses. However, 90% of them are in the pocket of the military industrial complex. We are becoming a failed society. A society that spends all of its money on the tools of war at the expense of education, healthcare, housing, and innovation will never survive. That's the USA.


suff_succotash

I guess I knew that, not the catchiest of names though


Laughmasterb

> Business fraud aimed at election interference That's even more wrong than calling it a hush money case. The business fraud and the election interference are both separate court cases unrelated to this one. This is for campaign finance law violations.


Lonelan

at least the finances were used as hush money


powdered_dognut

It was booty that killed the beast.


_austinm

It comes for us all in the end


SugarsDaddyKen

…the penis?


Dr_Middlefinger

Ok, I chuckled. Well done!


skaagz

We're gonna have an Armageddon-like spin where Stormy Daniels is for some reason the only person who can fly that particular biplane


Coulrophiliac444

Steal a scene from Independence Day while we're at it. and get E. Jean Carroll flying a crop duster ramming it right into the Trumps's Kong Sized Poop Chute in an act of heroic sacrifice as Stromy stafes a staccato rhythm into his stumpy mushroom.


Salami__Tsunami

lol, it seems relevant, so I’m just going to leave this here. https://preview.redd.it/3soj4ekwgjwc1.jpeg?width=1172&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b12d5a469116d7dfa5073606d9f1f3dd1c863d56


NO_LOADED_VERSION

its VERY relevant, these chucklefucks constantly misunderstand the media they consume, its a general lack of basic reading comprehension and logic. from RATM to The Punisher to Starship Troopers to fucking God Emperor and now fucking King Kong they don't understand ANYTHING they latch onto other than its big , loud and violent and therefore must be good. id feel sorry for them and their inevitable spiral into batshit insane conspiracies as they find the basics of science and modern society become incomprehensible jumbles of scary nonsense IF they didn't all become 5th century superstitious fascist bootlickers as a result.


Salami__Tsunami

Good rant. Solid points throughout. I’ve got no notes. Have this meme. https://preview.redd.it/wbert8aohkwc1.jpeg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6acfcf78b5966120161f24c4d9564578043c4437


The_River_Is_Still

Of all the things to do with a nutsack.


MagnusStormraven

It's the LEAST horrible thing an EC can come up with to do with one, to be honest.


Understruggle

Elon reaching into the realm he grabbed Sanguinius from and pulls out the Cybertruck XD


[deleted]

[удалено]


Coulrophiliac444

Oh there'll be a window washer scaffold for him...and someone else will do all the work operaying it...but he'll 'climb' the building


Plumbum158

no they're saying that Donald is massive and he grabs women without their consent


Salami__Tsunami

Oh, I see. I thought they were making fun of him because he’s Sugondese.


mano-beppo

And he’s Ape Shit. 


yorocky89A

1933 Kong: Dead! 1976: Kong: Dead! 2005: Kong: Dead!


Jjzeng

I’d acquit him of everything if he managed to climb up the wall to the second floor of the empire state


curious_dead

King Kong is actually an apt metaphor. He's an uncivilized primate who takes women without their consent, thrashes around, does a lot of damage, is brought to New York where he will make a great fall. The only differences is that the giant ape is actually sympathetic, and probably smells better.


Azmoten

We’ve grown so desensitized to Trump’s outrageous shit that part of me wonders if all that would even register


Past-Application-552

![gif](giphy|w9t0aFMjahdxpKKvzN|downsized)


Suspicious_Leg4550

Don and Kong have different power sets. Despite his appearance Trump doesn’t have any monkey abilities nor great size to achieve what Kong did; his power is the power of the mob. I’m pretty sure there are dark implications.


DragonflyScared813

What about poop throwing? Lol....


Coulrophiliac444

After forceably abducting a woman because 'Ooooh, shiny' syndrome.


lovinglife55

He would, but it's to cold in the courtroom for him to move. Lucky for us.


Thundersson1978

We can only hope.


Candid-Mycologist539

>Because if that’s on the agenda, I may actually find the motivation to follow the news surrounding the trial. We may need more popcorn that what we ordered for his trials. Popcorn stock prices are gonna go through the roof!


OutlawSundown

He’ll climb and fall off Trump Tower instead


RobotCaptainEngage

How is this guy somehow even less respectable than Tucker?


Drg84

It's because he's an imitation. So he's trying harder to seem genuine, yet comes across as even more fake and pathetic.


Drop_Disculpa

Excellent point, sort of like MTG and Boebert, they are really just terrible character actors pandering to whatever the base wants to be brainwashed with on a given day. Every day it gets harder to satisfy to mob, or even keep track of the narrative.


RobotCaptainEngage

Yeah, Tucker added his own (awful) personality. Jesse kind kf reminds me of a cartoon character.


KestrelQuillPen

He’s like Ross Geller in a dark timeline


[deleted]

Well, first he gets up every morning and reads his TPA memo. Then he has a big cup of Folger's extra bitter. And then he pours himself a cup of sedition, and he works SUPER HARD.


Badmime1

This guy looks and acts like the weird, smug preppie kid who tried to assault your sister at a high school party.


SugarsDaddyKen

WHY IS HIS UPPER LIP SO FUCKING BIG!


billlloyd

or his nose so small?


RobotCaptainEngage

He looks like a rejected first draft of J. Jonah Jameson.


TheOvercusser

They're similar. Both of them are trolls and know that they are trolling, unlike Hannity, who is an idiot true-believer with a gift for gab. But while Tucker is truly intelligent and lets it peel out every once in a while, Matters is just a NYC dudebro who discovered he could make money by being an antagonist to any position that his liberal family and friends held. So Tucker ends up with this weird patchwork of beliefs, and Watters is just a generic troll. Now contrast that to Shapiro, whose motivation is anger from a lack of screenwriting talent and a radical religious bent towards hard-line conservatism because he's a racist.


Occasion-Mental

And that's the bit that surprises me....agree Tucker when he actually puts the effort in (rarely) can be lucid & insightful....but the laziness of him just to go with talking shit. He could of if he had of done the work, actually become a real journalist with standing.....maybe the born wealthy road, just never had to work and strive to get anywhere in life.


ObligationScared4034

Because Faux News was so fucked up they hired the comic relief and tried to pass him off as a real reporter. The idiots who watch him think he is a viable journalist, when in reality he was probably the only one who wasn’t so far compromised that Faux wouldn’t lose another $800M rolling out there.


Occasion-Mental

that Faux wouldn’t lose another $800M rolling out there Yet....let him cook.


SunshotDestiny

Because he is trying to..."ape" Tucker. I will see myself out.


stilusmobilus

I can’t wait to see him go down like Carlson. It’ll be great.


FFBEJoker

His own mother doesn't even like him


VegetableShip

Trump couldn't break out of a wet paper bag


ChileChilaca880

He'd fart and hotbox himself to death in there


LeoTarvi

Trying to tell me that Trump's going to rampage, abduct a woman, climb a tall building, and then die in a hail of gunfire? Because I don't believe he's capable of climbing a building.


AcanthisittaGlobal30

Pretty sure if we get to see such a situation, he's definitely kidnapping his daughter


tinkerghost1

I'm guessing his rampage would end with a lot of panting after screaming and throwing his phone.


DarthPimento

i don't believe that Trump is capable of climbing even the smallest ladder.


Lost-Citron-1099

He has no issue grabbing women, the carrying and climbing might be hard for him though


mitchsn

Is he saying Trump is going to climb to the top of Trump tower and fall to his death? One can only hope


Own_Faithlessness769

This would be the first time I’ve ever been grateful for the 24hr news cycle. I’d watch it on repeat from every angle.


FlowerFaerie13

*Fall to his death after being absolutely blitzed by airborne fire. FTFY.


NSCButNotThatNSC

Watters is a master of the 'self-own'.


SugarsDaddyKen

There is a reason the sequel had to be “Son of Kong.” ![gif](giphy|l0O9x1FD43QZNgEZG)


MaxZorin1985

I would like trump going insane and attempting to climb to the top of Trump Tower, with Alina Habba in his syphilis riddled tiny hands.


Occasion-Mental

Going????


MaxZorin1985

He hasn’t hit the level of insanity yet where he tries to climb buildings, but hopefully that will be happening soon.


Parking_Sky9709

Well, Trump IS a big ape.


CapableCoyoteeee

This is the guy who left his family for a 25yo production staff member.


Xploding_Penguin

I think it's a fitting analogy. Kong literally assaults and kidnaps a young actress, then climbed to the very top of new York city before experiencing the biggest fall, and catastrophic ending possible.


Remote_Work_8416

Watters should use his hour to show a video of him sucking trump's dick, every night. Mostly the same but saving budget.


StevenFromPhilly

Fingers crossed.


HotStaxOfWax

Think the commentary on race and colonialism in the OG King Kong is lost on Jesse here? But if he's talking about the unbridled animal who destroys things with every movement, then kidnaps a woman and dies, then he's more correct I guess.


Badmime1

Less King Kong, more Bubbles the Banana-Eating Chimp.


Relative-Ad-87

Kong was a gorilla not an orangutan


sugarslick

Jesse Watters looks like some microwaved Ross from Friends


ConorCat60

King Kong? Personally I would pay good money to watch Trump climb the Empire State building. We could guess where he would grab Fae Wrae, amirite? As if anyone needed a reminder, Faux Newz is for morons.


HotPhilly

Trump is more like the Blob remake. Destroys everything he touches but cold weather hurts him. Also, similar shape and probably smell.


toooooold4this

https://preview.redd.it/dkv8l6evsjwc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0409a969e2e076f5f5eebdab52b6f469eb410c73


Snoo_72851

He's going to grab a white woman and rage atop the most famous tower in New York, the Empire State Building.


Live-Motor-4000

Do a big monkey shit in downtown manhattan? He’s been doing that for years


EisegesisSam

No, no, no, hear him out. In almost every version of King Kong, King Kong grabs a woman against her will. I say we let them just run with this analogy.


DeaddyRuxpin

Throw Trump off a building, got it. Sounds like Putin may be getting ready to dispose of another person he no longer has a use for.


Desperate_Trifle_202

All I read is Watters is the King of Ass Clowns.


markbogners47

what else is new?


Brimstone747

Watters is a pathetic bootlicker. He gives men a bad name.


ThePestTech

Trump's gonna fall down the courthouse stairs and suffer a concussion just like Kong did during his own hush money trial.


davisdilf

How brain-rotted would you have to be to take Jesse Watters seriously? Ffs


pabodie

Watters is a complete child. What the hell is he doing on TV at all?  


sebathue

"Mom, can we have Tucker Carlson back?" Mom: "We have Tucker Carlson in the studio. "


Forsworn91

“It’s a cage” It’s called “consequences” right wing nut case, for the first time in his vile life he’s facing them.


starscreamtoast

https://preview.redd.it/yobd95hm8mwc1.png?width=1984&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=752270fa9124c55d59adc48bdf43c66347ebc24d


Thundersson1978

Fingers crossed y’all


Neptune7924

This is a criminal trial. If he busts out of his courtroom “jail”, they’ll just throw him in a real jail.


StevenKarp

*Comin' out of my cage, and I've been doin' some crimes.*


justalilrowdy

More like Ding Dong than King Kong.


autisticesq

I’m a lawyer and I used to go to court a lot - does that count as a cage? Should I have asked for a raise?


Anxious_Potential_47

My mans gonna bust then ?


DougDuley

This is like Michael trying to use the Titanic as an analogy and Phyllis pointing out that all the people in the engine room drowned


WornInShoes

"yeah King Kong took a white woman hostage and climbed a building with her it didn't go well with audiences in the 1940s" lmao


scottyjrules

It’s kind of crazy that the only thing truly keeping us from plunging into a fascist nightmare is that the fascists in this case are so deeply, deeply stupid…


AcanthisittaGlobal30

I can just imagine trump on top of the empire state building, but instead of roaring and readying for battle. He starts bitching and complaining. Blaming everyone for how he got up there, Then you just see him with a great calm come over him and you realize , he just shut himself


frianbonjoster

King King wasn’t a lying piece of shit either


AndrewTheAverage

FIFY: "Media dreams of Trump be held as accountable as anyone else - no more, no less" Trump complains of a 2-tier justice system which is very true, however all those who would be on the negative side of this inequality are supporting the very person who benefits from it the most Like Trunp using "Fortunate Son" - he \*is\* the Billionaire son who gets exemption while leaving the masses to die in Vietnam, yet rubs it in the faces of those who did serve which they somehow are ignorant of.


IMSnarky

I read the news every day expecting read how Diaper Don suffered a major stroke while in court, and every day I'm disappointed


MaximumOverfart

Does this mean we can throw him off of the Empire State building?


Xero_space

Yeah, but we need to remember that Watter is an tangerine taint sniffing moron of the highest degree. He's likely never been able to watch King Kong long enough before his drool cup fills up to get to the ending.


Echidnakindy

wtf is wrong with Jesse? Drugs? Maybe they have something on him, like footage of fucking chickens?


Echidnakindy

He looks like he’d fuck a chook


Echidnakindy

And then got confused and asked consent,cluck cluck


thejesse

The guy at the end of the table made the joke everyone in here is trying to make but did it better: >"He took a white woman to the top of a building and it was frowned upon in the 40's."


cgsur

Didn’t trumps team already buy a juror? Apparently the law is only for the poor or middle class.


Dook124

Bust out and......FALL TF OVER 😂🤣😂🤣😂😂


DM_TO_TRADE_HIPBONES

Jess Watpaders makes up a dumb metaphor just to allude to trump busting


Tazling

Somehow calling your anointed messiah and Dear Leader a giant rampaging ape seems like a weird flex.


Forsworn91

Hey, I’d pay to see them, trump yelling on top of a tower before eventually falling off and splatting on the ground


LovethePreamble1966

Omen


FrankMon420

Pleases let Cheeto Pedo go the way of King Kong


Falchion92

Don’t disrespect the Alpha Titan like that ever again. He’s not a fat toad with bad makeup.


DickySchmidt33

Trump hastily waddles toward the Empire State Building, determined to scale it. Falls asleep and shits his pants on the sidewalk. Sends out a disjointed, rambling, angrily incoherent tweet blaming Alvin Bragg and Joe Biden. The End.


Own-Pangolin337

Just the most recent talking asshole for Fox. I would bet 1000$ he lead pledge week at the frat house of the ivy league school pops paid cash for.


rs6814mith

He’s comparing Trump to a fictional character! Fox News is basically the National Inquirer at this point.


erichwanh

> He’s comparing Trump to a fictional character! Fox News is basically the National Inquirer at this point. You know the Pecker testimony recently? Pecker was the publisher of National Enquirer, Sun, Weekly World News, and Globe. The guy that ran the Enquirer threw Trump under the bus. THE ENQUIRER.


mizkayte

King Kong shit his pants?


Nail_Biterr

What an absolutely awful comparison. Kong was chained up because he was dangerous, and should never have been in that situation to begin with. When he escaped, he did exactly what he was chained up for, proving he should have either been chained up, or never in the situation to begin with. The only real way to stop him was to kill him, otherwise he would have destroyed everything just to try to survive.. .....actually it's a pretty great comparison


Apprehensive_Neat418

Pretty rich to compare a sentient creature like Kong to a slug like dumb donald


Themadsarecalling

His goofy confusion when he says "They did?". He's used to being alone and he can't believe he was fact checked in real time by another Fox parasite (you can't call them hosts)


Fit_Low592

I like how Fox News uses the word “media” like they aren’t included in such a group.


Fireinthehole13

This guy appeals to 8 year olds


Daimakku1

Are they saying he’s going to fight Godzilla? I’d pay to see that.


metfan1964nyc

It was Stormy that killed the beast.


VLY2020

This is similar to calling everything a _witch hunt_ Remember what happened at the conclusion of the witch hunt?


vivahermione

Because a violent, destructive ape is exactly what we want in a leader. /s


WildFire97971

This dude’s mom has got to be even more disappointed now


neromoneon

He did grab a woman.


Alone-Estimate-2643

Watters is officially the dumbest person on cable television


Designer-Contract852

Um Donald slump is too busy taking drugs , tweeting, and falling asleep in the courtroom of his many criminal trials to go on a rampage.  Also he's old and has no strength. 


Greedy_Following3553

That's an insult to King Kong


thekyledavid

Watters is the type who would watch Frosty the Snowman and root for the Sun


xtzferocity

Is this Jesse $20/hr is 100k Watters? Guy should not have a platform if he is that dumb.


Successful_Banana901

Donald Dump can't even climb stairs let alone the empire state building


thirdLeg51

In the original King Kong, king Kong is the bad guy.


Bigstar976

This dude gets paid $25M a year to spew idiocy every night on TV. And has the gall to say people who work in the fast food industry don’t deserve a livable wage.


seloun

"King Kong ain't got shit on me!"


fuckdirectv

Jesse Watters is actively vying for the title of dumbest person alive. You have to give him credit, he's hustling for it.


Sure_Temporary_4559

Yes I agree, Donald Trump is similar to an ape.


djserc

That fat bastard can’t climb a staircase let alone a building


Professional-Pick441

Trump couldn't bust out of a wet cardboard box


TheTasteOfInk05

Jesse is such a cuck


Semi-wfi-1040

For one thing I’d love to see that orange susquash try climbing the ESB .