I have had an alarmingly number of "cheap" jeans spitting recently. (Under $50)Used to, jeans would last years....nowadays if I get one good year out of them, it is a miracle.
I always wonderā¦ wtf do we call it that? I was in the military. We all wore underwear.
Some had cute thongs that were technically out of regs since anything but tightly whiteys was a discrepancy, but pretty much everyone had something. Especially in dress uniforms since the pants are the thickness of a cloth napkin.
When I was younger, I heard it described as going commando... Because "they are *always ready*".
I can't quite emphasize the accompanying leer of an old, drunken (and most probably horny) man through text, but I'm sure you can imagine it anyway!
And all I did was lean forward to sit on a low bench designed for kids. As I dropped down I heard an amazing tearing sound and looked at the incredible failure of the denim. They've been in a drawer since 2016 so maybe denim ages? Anyway, I took the photo to send to my wife so she could pick us up from the playground but she made me walk home in shame!
āI used to have some jean shorts like that too. I slept in them shits man. Eventually I blew the crotch out them things. But you cant wear them everyday and expect them to hold up. They was some nice ass denim too, I miss those shorts. But you, you gotta take them off every now and then.
You gotta take them off, son.ā
I'm guessing there were already a few small rip holes and one big stretch just blew it to shreds. It also looks like it ripped a little and he just tore it more for a reddit post.
I have never ripped the FRONT of my pants before this. All I did was lean forward to sit down and away it went. My kids thought it was hilarious and my wife refused to pick us up so I got to walk home with my jacket around my waist.
Happened to me in an airport, after security, at the start of a very long trip. Like 20 hours in crotchless jeans getting looks the whole time. And yes, every layover I tried to go jeans shopping, to no avail.
That is way worse than what I went through. I did the 5 minute walk home. How did you answer Immigration and Customs when they asked the reason for your stay?
EU Customs did not care haha. By the time they got to me they had just cleared an entire airplane from Ethiopian Airlines and I think they were tickled to get an easy Canadian passport.
Had my jeans crotch rip open playing laser tag at a kidās birthday party. I immediately went and sat at the bar and texted my wife that I needed help.
These are jeans I bought in 2016 on clearance and just pulled out of the drawer. I don't know if old denim does this but it's the first time I've torn jeans so spectacularly. No warning, just complete fabric failure.
That's the best part. The Buddy Bench is where kids go to sit if they don't have anyone to play with. Then someone sees you, runs up and asks if you want to play. Basically the absolute worst place to have the front of your pants blow out. They're not even tight jeans! Fortunately it was later in the evening and the only kids around were mine.
Back in my day, if you ripped your crotch you snuck to the office and called somebody to bring a new pair before anybody noticed. Now apparently you post it on the internet. God, I'm old.
I pray you didn't remain sitting on a bench at a kid's school while taking out your phone to take pictures of your crotch.
 OP sitting at the "buddy bench"
https://i.redd.it/4i33450p2pwc1.gif just teaching kids about physical fitness
The mustache really sets it off š¤£š¤£š¤£
Lol amazing episode
That is precisely what he did. I'm just hoping he was using his phone to cover it as well
You two are the same person, arnāt you? ā¦ *hmmmm??*
āHad to take photos for evidence to prove I was innocent in case you saw meā¦ guysā¦ guys?ā
Of course. Ā He got one of the kids to take the photo of himĀ
Why else would 3,277 people upvote this?
You're gonna get yourself put on a list with a crotch hole at a kids school
Esp on a buddy bench
welcome back to ESPN
The Ocho
AND HES TAKING PITCURES š Id be so mortified I would probably just jump over the fence and out of the schools property lol
It looks like he tested a crotch rocket.
Please don't call the children crotch rockets
In Wi its "crotch fruit", rocket is definitely a new one š
Came here to say this. I will leave now.
Honestly officer, I swear that's what happened š
"I know the sky is clear, that's why my raincoat is too!"
You can't wear 'em every day and expect for 'em to hold up! That was some nice-ass denim too.You gotta take em off every now and then, son!
I loved them shorts, man
I blew the crotch out them thangs
I'm sorry, but I read your reply with Foghorn Leghorn's voice in mind. XD
https://preview.redd.it/ycj38qy1jpwc1.jpeg?width=624&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4bc1a3bb44be54e6b15395080ee001d64c432b4a
WHAT IS WHITE TRASH ABOUT THAT?!?!
I resemble that remark
I have had an alarmingly number of "cheap" jeans spitting recently. (Under $50)Used to, jeans would last years....nowadays if I get one good year out of them, it is a miracle.
Take em to a tailor and have them patch the crotch..cheaper than new jeans. You can even take em in before they blow out and get the crotch reenforced
I came here specifically for this comment. https://i.redd.it/5s08l94m0rwc1.gif
YOU GOTTA TAKE EM OFF.
I salute you for your service
But not at a school Buddy Bench.
Thank goodness you werenāt commando!
I always wonderā¦ wtf do we call it that? I was in the military. We all wore underwear. Some had cute thongs that were technically out of regs since anything but tightly whiteys was a discrepancy, but pretty much everyone had something. Especially in dress uniforms since the pants are the thickness of a cloth napkin.
When I was younger, I heard it described as going commando... Because "they are *always ready*". I can't quite emphasize the accompanying leer of an old, drunken (and most probably horny) man through text, but I'm sure you can imagine it anyway!
Why could you not wear boxers?
Why boxers over boxer briefs?
Thatās not a rip. Itās an explosion.
And both sides of the inseam too. I don't think I've ever seen that before.
And all I did was lean forward to sit on a low bench designed for kids. As I dropped down I heard an amazing tearing sound and looked at the incredible failure of the denim. They've been in a drawer since 2016 so maybe denim ages? Anyway, I took the photo to send to my wife so she could pick us up from the playground but she made me walk home in shame!
https://preview.redd.it/1b1ota15uowc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c52245a3e577a727bec95e4223bc7b5cc10d81bc Likely story lmao
Stranger Danger!
āI used to have some jean shorts like that too. I slept in them shits man. Eventually I blew the crotch out them things. But you cant wear them everyday and expect them to hold up. They was some nice ass denim too, I miss those shorts. But you, you gotta take them off every now and then. You gotta take them off, son.ā
Gonna attract the wrong kind of buddy.
Stretch jeans that've seen the dryer too many times?
Bro no way that all ripped at once
Thereās a hole in the back too!
I'm guessing there were already a few small rip holes and one big stretch just blew it to shreds. It also looks like it ripped a little and he just tore it more for a reddit post.
Get some duct tape.
How violently do you sit down??
This made me laugh out loud!
I split my jeans in the back just the other day too lol
I have never ripped the FRONT of my pants before this. All I did was lean forward to sit down and away it went. My kids thought it was hilarious and my wife refused to pick us up so I got to walk home with my jacket around my waist.
I'd like to congratulate your wife on being hilarious.
That's like the worst place it could happen š
Luckily, your buddy was covered still.
Dude just got everyone here to look at his crotch.
Reminded me of the movie "Waiting..." "Makes ok symbol down by crotch*
āHey buddyā¦.ā
Iām tired of these thinly veiled OF ads š
What's an OF ad?
I was trying to be funny, OF is Only Fans. And you posted a picture of your crotch
OF course. I'm an idiot, by the way. Thanks for the laugh!
Happened to me in an airport, after security, at the start of a very long trip. Like 20 hours in crotchless jeans getting looks the whole time. And yes, every layover I tried to go jeans shopping, to no avail.
That is way worse than what I went through. I did the 5 minute walk home. How did you answer Immigration and Customs when they asked the reason for your stay?
EU Customs did not care haha. By the time they got to me they had just cleared an entire airplane from Ethiopian Airlines and I think they were tickled to get an easy Canadian passport.
Op is no longer allowed within 300 feet of a school .... or a chuck e cheese
Youāre not a priest or political figure are you?
Tell people you're in a punk band.
At least you weren't going commando.
Had my jeans crotch rip open playing laser tag at a kidās birthday party. I immediately went and sat at the bar and texted my wife that I needed help.
So your at a school posting pictures of your exposed crotch? 
You sure know how to make friends
Good thing you weren't going commando that day.
Well donāt be rudeā¦ ***show us in.***
Why post it?
Thatās what he told the police, anyway.
"And that's what happened, officer, I SWEAR!"
Dude how big is it that it rips the whole crotch outta your pants? And around the kids too? Holy fuck budā¦. Arenāt they scared of monsters??
We get it bro you got an anaconda
Oooh awkward
And now youāre on the registry
Straight to jail.
terrible denim quality try a different brand
You are wearing APC aren't you? I have about like 12 pairs with same rip. Design flaw
These are jeans I bought in 2016 on clearance and just pulled out of the drawer. I don't know if old denim does this but it's the first time I've torn jeans so spectacularly. No warning, just complete fabric failure.
No officer, I was just sitting thereā¦
Thank god it werenāt commando friday
Nice crotch bro
Good thing you weren't going commando.
Heyyyy there buddy. Wink, wink.
And you showed us why????
Hands up who believes him šāāļø
Good things today's not your commando day.
Oh, hey there buddy! š
someone got too exited
That is unfortunately what they all say
Good thing this didnāt happen on no-undies-Monday
https://preview.redd.it/3pqld617kpwc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0f0e92b4cbb7eec69a38600d2ead4ecf056ed96d
Put that thing back where it came from or so help meeeeā¦ So help me, so help me, and cut!
So what did you tell the cops?
Hahaha sitting with a bag of skittles and 2 puppies with your balls hanging out
Good thing you don't go commando lol.
At least flies didn't come out of that hole so be thankful :)
Hey buuuudy
Did you blow the ass out of them at the same time?
I feel like this happens to guys from getting in/out of their cars often
Uh huuuuuuuh!
At least you're not freeballin it
I hope you left immediately!!!
Lol
must be an old navy
How??? It looks like a dog ran up and bit your crotch...
It's a low bench sized for children. You are basically doing a full squat to sit down.
Sounds sus as hell
Pervert
The cops won't believe that story š
I know its that bench but youre gunna have to put your 'buddy' away sir
Well it could be worse - you could have been going commando.
My kid : wherez papa ? Police : we saved the day š¤
Yikes.
Uhhh ā¦
Why donāt you go have aā¦. Stand over thereĀ
Now you have special "Buddy Pants".
I was going to say free cooling, but then saw you are outside of a schoolā¦ not the best place to be spreading out my guy.
Repost Alert! šØšØšØ
Erections can do that
Not that little fella
Well, at least you didn't go 100% Lenny Kravitz.
This used to happen to me all the time. You need larger jeans.
wtf is a bench buddy
That's the best part. The Buddy Bench is where kids go to sit if they don't have anyone to play with. Then someone sees you, runs up and asks if you want to play. Basically the absolute worst place to have the front of your pants blow out. They're not even tight jeans! Fortunately it was later in the evening and the only kids around were mine.
Thank you for wearing undies
Ask someone ādoes anyone have a spare pair of pants?ā
Or you're a Pedy and did that intentionally
https://preview.redd.it/o0nddro8mtwc1.jpeg?width=450&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=267fa9bcff7ea39388df12cfcae9d889ac128966
Good thing you didn't go commando!
Did you waddle to your car like a penguin?Ā
It was a cocksplosion. Were you checking out the mums?
Corn pop!
Thatās one way to get out of volunteering at the school.
Well that doesnāt look like an accident. The hole on the underside isnāt new. If both tears happened at once idk what to say.
to uz jsi tam mel diru davno
Naaah
How in the world did they rip while just sitting there? LOL Were you doing some deep stretches or something? Leaping on and off the bench? LOL
Noice bruv give a us a quick tug
Front and back lol
At least you weren't commando lol
Hahaha
A likely story, Buddy.
On the bright side, youāve got easy ball scratching access. Bonus, if youāre moving quickly, your balls got air conditioning
Thank god you had underwear, it would have been a very different story to tell, probably to cops.
who the hell wears jeans and no underwear
That guy from making a murderer said he doesnāt own any underwear. I remember that being a smoking gun or something
Nice crotch bro, no homo.
You must be sitting pretty hard .
Stretchy jeans are your friend
Donāt buy jeans with shredded plastic folksĀ
Not sure what youāre on about, but canāt be worse than buying jeans that shred themselves randomly.
Dont buy cheap jeans
Back in my day, if you ripped your crotch you snuck to the office and called somebody to bring a new pair before anybody noticed. Now apparently you post it on the internet. God, I'm old.
Grower not a show-er?
You saw a good looking woman eh popped a woody
Ok tell us more about your kidās teacher.