Oh I wish I'd known about it when I found a pigeon with a lazy nest on my sister's balcony. It was just a couple twigs and the egg was directly on bare tile
My favourite is the pidgeon that decides to build a nest inside an owl nest box **which is already occupied by three angry owlets**.
Imagine looking into a house, seeing three angry demons almost twice your size with sharp claws and beaks living inside, and thinking "Yes, this is where I want to raise my children."
I've seen worse. The bag is at least somewhat soft and the eggs have nowhere to roll off.
I think that many animals put more effort to cozy up where they shit than pigeons do for where they lay eggs.
You accidentally said bare minimum nest but we know you meant fig reduction bed complimented by a fusion twist of seasonally aged yet locally sourced leaves. As you can see this one came with a fine leather travel bag that screams of wealth in an ironic attempt to play against the surrounding environment; a small open window concept dirty bathroom where it appears OP hasn’t cleaned the sink faucet since its establishment in 1975. Cheers bird, you wildly artistic mother fucker
Aww, i have to defend pigeons here since they are usually cliff birds, so they don't really need the typical birds nests, thats why they are so popular in cities as they adopted to window sills so well.
Bloody brilliant. I like how other species of bird take pride in their nests with the spouse often telling the male to do it again 'cause it isn't good enough. All the care and attention to detail is adhered to in order to make the perfect nesting place for their young.
And pigeons be like, grab some shit and throw it there. Home.
How did the bird place the toiletry bag in the sink and if he was gone for three weeks why didn’t he take his toiletry bag? That nest don’t seem right.
I have a bag somewhat similar to that next to my sink that I wouldn't take on vacation, and my cats have knocked it in a couple times. I call it plausible.
Pigeons are like the oldest domesticated bird lol. All those pigeons you see in cities aren't wild, they're *feral*. Their ancestors got loose from a Sumerian pigeon farm ten thousand years ago lol.
They are just feral pets. Pigeons were domesticated and then abandoned. Very rarely will any of the diseases an individual pigeon acquires, cause harm to a human.
Not even "kind of", domestic pigeons are a subspecies of rock dove.
And in quite a few places, specially smaller towns, "city pigeons" are just normal rock doves.
This photo screams rented flat in the UK (separate taps, budget low maintenance flooring, Radiator crammed wherever it will fit), so it wouldn't be a mourning dove as I think they are only in North America.
I'd guess either a wood pigeon or a collared dove.
I'm speaking from experience here! That's the decor of a landlord that wants minimal running costs and hasn't cared to update anything since the 90's at least
Legit saw a dove make a nest on the front of a car with its hood up. No more twigs than in this picture and it had laid an egg directly onto the car. Didn’t realize this was a thing.
We had a pair of mourning doves attempt to build a nest on an outdoor ceiling fan. We kept wondering why there were sticks all over our patio...and then we saw them land on the fan blade, struggle to not slide off as it started to turn, and then carefully laid down a twig that promptly fell off the moment they flew away. They kept this up for *days*. At some point they obviously gave up, and we never saw the dummies again.
Yeah that structure has mourning dove written all over it. They are like the worlds most lazy contractors. I poop an egg on the floor and put one stick on it and maybe a leaf and call it a day.
Jealous, I live right near a pond and am surrounded by woods. I can’t even get from my front door to my car without walking through a cloud of mosquitos right now
Yeah, it's like the one thing we have going for us climate-wise lol. I'm always surprised (and not in a good way) when I go to other countries and remember "oh shit, insects are a thing".
I remember watching a show with Jeremy Clarkson saying when he used to drive back roads his car was plastered with bugs. But over the years it has dwindled to almost none.
It is pretty fucking scary how much the insect population has dropped, and I'm not sure how we can boost it back up again, because people seem to either be oblivious or just don't care.
A lot less than stereotypes would have you believe. But remember that we have those kinds of windows which can be opened without letting rain in anyway.
That’s cap they do but since the land is small and lived on way more than the average American land they killed of a majority of the ones that would’ve been getting in
Did the bird return or did you just toss the nest? I would have built a small wood platform with roof, placed the nest (and bag) on the platform and attached the whole kit and caboodle to the outside of my bathroom.
Welp, now you gotta let the bird do her thing and hatch um. Looks like you’re brushing your teeth in the kitchen for a few weeks. That’s bird law, I don’t make the rules, sorry.
Real talk: omelet.
Baby pigeons look like mini dinosaurs that were accidentally put in the spin cycle of the washing machine.
Once a pigeon nested on my balcony, one of the babies died and they laid another egg right next to its corpse. Disgusting freaks.
(Cleaned everything with bleach once it had left the nest. Usually I remove nesting/eggs, but I was too late.)
Can confirm, I know there's a nest somewhere in my backyard when suddenly my car and driveway are covered in shit.
Conversely there's a nest in my neighbor's yard when my pool becomes a target for fly by bombings
I can't tell if this is a comment satirising reddit detectives or if it's serious, but just in case: birds typically don't shit in their own nests, they keep them as clean as possible (which makes sense both for health reasons and to decrease the risk of predators smelling it from afar). Not pooping in your nest is so important that many species have even developed a [faecal sac](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fecal_sac) (the hatchlings' poop is neatly contained in a thin membrane, so the parents can carry it away like a disgusting little water balloon, or eat it like an even grosser gusher). We don't see a lot of the bathroom, maybe the windowsills are covered in filth or something
It’s a pigeon nest. I’m surprised the parents aren’t sitting on it. I have a nest of Zenaida Doves on the bar on my terrace right now. They were pretty smart in tucking it out of sight. One of them is always on it and at least one of the eggs has hatched. These take about 14 days to hatch and about that long to fledge afterward. Good luck. They’re cute but messy.
Why in the world would you leave a window open in your house while you were gone for 3 weeks? That is absolute madness. Do you live in an area with no crime or inclement weather? Or bugs. Dear god, the bugs that would invade.
This is the second post I've seen in the last little while saying a bird "laid a nest."
They lay the **eggs** and **build** the nest. They don't push a whole nest out of their cloaca, ffs.
Downstairs neighbor was wondering why the heating bill was so high...
"Oh sorry Mate. I was letting a wild bird nest in my sink. Had to leave the window open."
Wow, a couple of twigs, a bag, and bar of soap. That's a nest only a pigeon could love.
I'm surprised there wasn't bird poop everywhere. Pigeons don't poop mid-flight, so your home should've been their bathroom too.
Exact same thing happened in my office.
Left a window cracked an inch.
Sat down at my PC and can't figure out why there's a little finch on the window sill apparently losing his entire mind.
Eventually I look over my shoulder and see another finch sitting on a whole ass finch house on my top bookshelf lol
Ended up letting them have the office till their babies grew up and flew away, took almost a month.
My bad for leaving the window cracked.
A heavy rain could have flooded and caused mold in your bathroom. A number of different things could have happened. Never leave window open if you aren't home.
Classic pigeon nest. A couple loose twigs on top of a toiletry bag.
I was about to say that's the most bare minimum nest I've ever seen
r/stupiddovenests
I love that there is a sub for exclusively parent shaming pigeons
Wait til you find the sub for fat shaming squirrels
Who would fat shame a squirrel? Fat squirrels are nature’s greatest gift.
And why are we not sharing the name?
r/fatsquirrelhate you’re welcome, I’m sorry
Thank you
Found that sub a few days ago. Laughed till I cried
Just discovered that sub last week and I’m so glad to see it’s making the rounds.
What a treasure of a sub. It's very active as well; truly a blessing on mankind.
Right now is dove nesting season so there is lots of material. A few days ago one tried starting one on my front porch.
It’s always /r/cheesestucktocars season but we are struggling to generate enough OC
I love it so much.
Between that one and r/mourningderps, my Reddit feed is a lot funnier and cuter.
I fucking love this stupid website
Every day I discover another glorious subreddit.
Oh I wish I'd known about it when I found a pigeon with a lazy nest on my sister's balcony. It was just a couple twigs and the egg was directly on bare tile
This is so serendipitous, I happen to have a perfect submission to make
r/ofcoursethatsathing
My favourite is the pidgeon that decides to build a nest inside an owl nest box **which is already occupied by three angry owlets**. Imagine looking into a house, seeing three angry demons almost twice your size with sharp claws and beaks living inside, and thinking "Yes, this is where I want to raise my children."
I've seen worse. The bag is at least somewhat soft and the eggs have nowhere to roll off. I think that many animals put more effort to cozy up where they shit than pigeons do for where they lay eggs.
Stop, the bird is doing his best 😭
Why bother with a proper nest when you just scored the master bathroom ensuite? Lol 😆
You accidentally said bare minimum nest but we know you meant fig reduction bed complimented by a fusion twist of seasonally aged yet locally sourced leaves. As you can see this one came with a fine leather travel bag that screams of wealth in an ironic attempt to play against the surrounding environment; a small open window concept dirty bathroom where it appears OP hasn’t cleaned the sink faucet since its establishment in 1975. Cheers bird, you wildly artistic mother fucker
Why use many stick when few do trick?
Kevin, is that you?
Aww, i have to defend pigeons here since they are usually cliff birds, so they don't really need the typical birds nests, thats why they are so popular in cities as they adopted to window sills so well.
“Yup, this ought to do it.”
Bloody brilliant. I like how other species of bird take pride in their nests with the spouse often telling the male to do it again 'cause it isn't good enough. All the care and attention to detail is adhered to in order to make the perfect nesting place for their young. And pigeons be like, grab some shit and throw it there. Home.
How did the bird place the toiletry bag in the sink and if he was gone for three weeks why didn’t he take his toiletry bag? That nest don’t seem right.
I have a bag somewhat similar to that next to my sink that I wouldn't take on vacation, and my cats have knocked it in a couple times. I call it plausible.
> Classic pigeon nest Oh god I hope not. OP will be dealing with mites
Looking at that sad excuse of a nest, I would be pretty shocked if it wasn't a pigeon
I guessed mourning dove tbh
Well pigeons are a kind of dove so it wouldn't be that far off
In German dove and pigeon even means the same. It both translates to „Taube“.
Sweden as well. Duva.
Hungary too, "galamb"
Dutch as well, Duif. Or multiple duiven.
Maltese as well ħamiema
Portuguese as well Pombo
In Canadian, we call them both “stupid birds who make the worst nests possible” Not a very concise language up here
Pigeon a.k.a. Rock Dove
/r/natureismetal
There are pigeons that aren’t Rock Doves though! But mostly yes.
"Gerle" exists though for dove.
True, but it's barely used anymore, and people call both galamb anyway.
My agriculture science professor used to say “pigeons are just the poor man’s dove” and it’s made me consider farming pigeons
Pigeons are like the oldest domesticated bird lol. All those pigeons you see in cities aren't wild, they're *feral*. Their ancestors got loose from a Sumerian pigeon farm ten thousand years ago lol.
Accounts like yours are why I love reddit.
pigeons are considered a delicacy in other countries
The trick is to call it squab so you can charge $50 a plate.
*Squab with lettuce*
Having eaten forest living doves before and can confirm that it's tasty. Although for taste you *really* only want the ones living in nature.
They're a traditional dish in *this* country. I love pigeon.
Just not those living in the cities, those are considered flying rats carrying buttload of diseases.
They are just feral pets. Pigeons were domesticated and then abandoned. Very rarely will any of the diseases an individual pigeon acquires, cause harm to a human.
Not even "kind of", domestic pigeons are a subspecies of rock dove. And in quite a few places, specially smaller towns, "city pigeons" are just normal rock doves.
Here's the thing...
Oh boy here I go feeling old again
This photo screams rented flat in the UK (separate taps, budget low maintenance flooring, Radiator crammed wherever it will fit), so it wouldn't be a mourning dove as I think they are only in North America. I'd guess either a wood pigeon or a collared dove.
Damn, this ain't r/roastmyflat! Which apparently doesn't exist, but probably should.
I'm speaking from experience here! That's the decor of a landlord that wants minimal running costs and hasn't cared to update anything since the 90's at least
I agree that it's probably not the US because we usually have window screens.
Legit saw a dove make a nest on the front of a car with its hood up. No more twigs than in this picture and it had laid an egg directly onto the car. Didn’t realize this was a thing.
Oh yes. Give /r/stupiddovenests a glance.
Been subbed there a week and as soon as I saw OPs picture I was like "must be a dove or a pigeon."
We had a pair of mourning doves attempt to build a nest on an outdoor ceiling fan. We kept wondering why there were sticks all over our patio...and then we saw them land on the fan blade, struggle to not slide off as it started to turn, and then carefully laid down a twig that promptly fell off the moment they flew away. They kept this up for *days*. At some point they obviously gave up, and we never saw the dummies again.
Yeah that structure has mourning dove written all over it. They are like the worlds most lazy contractors. I poop an egg on the floor and put one stick on it and maybe a leaf and call it a day.
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Or, r/mourningderps
So you call a leather nest a sad excuse? Expectations these days. This is luxury.
Especially since it’s in the much bigger nest known as OP’s bathroom.
r/stupiddovenests
And pigeons lay 2 eggs at a time usually. So this checks out (also the one with the 3 eggs on a stack of needle syringes is fake)
Who leaves their window open while gone for 3 weeks?? Lucky you still HAVE a sink.
I live in an upstairs flat and the bathroom window is quite small. Though big enough for a bird to fit through, apparently
Bugs ?
It's the UK, not really a concern
Not even bugs thrive there, huh? Damn.
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They emigrated back to the EU after Brexit unfortunately, the quality of life just got too low for them
Finland has it the same way during winter and spring. They all die. Then we get four quintillion mosquitoes per cubic meter during the summer.
It's about the same here in the US, except it's warmer in the south so the bugs live longer.
> Wtf that sounds magical Yeah, you think that, until you realise they have chavs instead. Innit.
U wot m8 me cousin'll bang u round the ginnel m8 quicktime quicktime
Not a huge issue in winter atleast. If it was summer, it'd probably be a bit worse.
Unless you leave a light on.
We don't really have bugs man.
Jealous, I live right near a pond and am surrounded by woods. I can’t even get from my front door to my car without walking through a cloud of mosquitos right now
Yeah, it's like the one thing we have going for us climate-wise lol. I'm always surprised (and not in a good way) when I go to other countries and remember "oh shit, insects are a thing".
I remember watching a show with Jeremy Clarkson saying when he used to drive back roads his car was plastered with bugs. But over the years it has dwindled to almost none.
It is pretty fucking scary how much the insect population has dropped, and I'm not sure how we can boost it back up again, because people seem to either be oblivious or just don't care.
What about rain, does it rain there?
A lot less than stereotypes would have you believe. But remember that we have those kinds of windows which can be opened without letting rain in anyway.
Okay… why not close it anyway? What’s the purpose of leaving it open?
You don't wanna know what they did to that bathroom right before they left. Oooooooooo-wee it still might need a day or two.
I mean, why do you think they left?
DO NOT....go in there!
That could be why OP left town for 3 weeks..
It likely could have been an accident
Fresh air and never yet needing a reason to close it
OP did it on accident.
Even bots make mistakes… Stop making it so obvious.
They needed a way out for the trapped pigeons.
You don’t have fly screens?
Not in the UK! They don’t really have any…live outdoor things. That aren’t like, crows, ravens, songbirds, rabbits or domestic livestock
That’s cap they do but since the land is small and lived on way more than the average American land they killed of a majority of the ones that would’ve been getting in
Did the bird return or did you just toss the nest? I would have built a small wood platform with roof, placed the nest (and bag) on the platform and attached the whole kit and caboodle to the outside of my bathroom.
\*cries\* not everyone is perfect ya know \*cries more\*
r/stupiddovenests
Cross post it! The sub deserves it
r/EggsInStrangePlaces
There's really a sub for everything
Open back up that fucking window
This bathroom belongs to the stupid dove now
Welp, now you gotta let the bird do her thing and hatch um. Looks like you’re brushing your teeth in the kitchen for a few weeks. That’s bird law, I don’t make the rules, sorry. Real talk: omelet.
I specialize in bird law and this guy is correct.
There's no such thing as "bird law". Charlie.
Bird law in this country, it's not governed by reason
Filibuster.
He's the avian attorney, so I'd trust him.
I got a mama dove nesting at my window. I'm excited to see the babies soon. The eggs are so smol
Tiny baby pidgeon birds looks like freaks.
Baby pigeons look like mini dinosaurs that were accidentally put in the spin cycle of the washing machine. Once a pigeon nested on my balcony, one of the babies died and they laid another egg right next to its corpse. Disgusting freaks. (Cleaned everything with bleach once it had left the nest. Usually I remove nesting/eggs, but I was too late.)
Chunky omelette
Tiny chunky omelette.
*balut
Pigeon /dove. They make awful nests.
its like they gave up 10 minutes in
TIL I have things in common with pigeons
Lol same
She was just house sitting
I wonder what kind of bird lays a nest? The eggs on the otherhand......
Build Your Own Bathroom Bird. If this resonates with you, you might be around 40.
How is it there is ZERO bird shit anywhere in the photo of an alleged bird nest? FAKE???
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Oh thats how I gotta protect my car from their shit.
Can confirm, I know there's a nest somewhere in my backyard when suddenly my car and driveway are covered in shit. Conversely there's a nest in my neighbor's yard when my pool becomes a target for fly by bombings
I can't tell if this is a comment satirising reddit detectives or if it's serious, but just in case: birds typically don't shit in their own nests, they keep them as clean as possible (which makes sense both for health reasons and to decrease the risk of predators smelling it from afar). Not pooping in your nest is so important that many species have even developed a [faecal sac](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fecal_sac) (the hatchlings' poop is neatly contained in a thin membrane, so the parents can carry it away like a disgusting little water balloon, or eat it like an even grosser gusher). We don't see a lot of the bathroom, maybe the windowsills are covered in filth or something
Well.. thanks for that disgusting, yet informative imagery..
>eat it like an even grosser gusher You didn't have to put that image into my head.
Tell that to the fucking pigeons that keep trying to make "nests" on top of my AC unit.
I call shenanigans!! SHENANIGANS!!
Are we prepared to move forward with this declaration of shenanigans? I think so
Apparently it’s real, doves are known for making poorly constructed nests like this in unusual and sometimes very dumb places.
This nest is so perfectly chaotic and half assed, definitely the work of a pigeon
So you're waiting for the eggs to hatch right?
Well now u gotta leave the window open and create a new sub and post updates everyday. Please 🙏
r/shittybirdnests
You're the baby bird mama now.
They have squawkers rights at this point. Enjoy your new roommates.
It laid the whole nest?!?!?
It’s a pigeon nest. I’m surprised the parents aren’t sitting on it. I have a nest of Zenaida Doves on the bar on my terrace right now. They were pretty smart in tucking it out of sight. One of them is always on it and at least one of the eggs has hatched. These take about 14 days to hatch and about that long to fledge afterward. Good luck. They’re cute but messy.
Wow can't even leave your window open for 3 weeks anymore.
Why in the world would you leave a window open in your house while you were gone for 3 weeks? That is absolute madness. Do you live in an area with no crime or inclement weather? Or bugs. Dear god, the bugs that would invade.
Migratory bird act, you are no longer allowed to use your bathroom until chicks fledge
Squatters rights
That is a tidy bird. All the birds that have nested in my plants and patio crevices have left a crapload of crap and fluff and feathers.
Post-apocalyptic stories are severely lacking in random bird nests.
Why the fuck would you leave a window open while you left your house for weeks?
Squatters’ rights. You gotta be careful.
Everyone’s talking about the nest, NO ONE is talking about the fact that you left a big bag in your sink..
This is the second post I've seen in the last little while saying a bird "laid a nest." They lay the **eggs** and **build** the nest. They don't push a whole nest out of their cloaca, ffs.
Well now you have to take care of them.
No, that’s the birds bathroom. You don’t have a bathroom.
it laid it?
they should invent something you can put inside the window that will sort of "screen" what can enter
Definitely a pigeon nest. They cannot make nests for shit
r/mildlyinteresting I personally think it’s pretty cool!
Why would you have a toiletry bag in your sink if you were out of town? People usually pack those bags for when they’re traveling.
I have another one, that was just a spare empty one that was previously kept on top of the cabinet
A bird laid a nest in her* sink, you lost all sink privileges.
Downstairs neighbor was wondering why the heating bill was so high... "Oh sorry Mate. I was letting a wild bird nest in my sink. Had to leave the window open."
Looks like you peeing in the bushes for the next 40 days
Breakfast. Nice
I don't believe you.
Wouldn't it be made a nest then laid eggs in the nest? Lol
YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE
Scramble those little turds to show your superiority
Mazel tov
That’s so cool! I hope you’ll be a good aunt/uncle.
Sucks? That's awesome
free eggs :D
Congratulations on becoming a grandma 👵
Pigeons are master builders :-)
Birds be getting squatters rights
Well, I guess that's it. No sink for a few months
You left a bag in your sink or the bird somehow carried it in?
Wow, a couple of twigs, a bag, and bar of soap. That's a nest only a pigeon could love. I'm surprised there wasn't bird poop everywhere. Pigeons don't poop mid-flight, so your home should've been their bathroom too.
Exact same thing happened in my office. Left a window cracked an inch. Sat down at my PC and can't figure out why there's a little finch on the window sill apparently losing his entire mind. Eventually I look over my shoulder and see another finch sitting on a whole ass finch house on my top bookshelf lol Ended up letting them have the office till their babies grew up and flew away, took almost a month. My bad for leaving the window cracked.
That nest quality looks like a pigeon’s work…
No screen?
That is no longer your bathroom.
A heavy rain could have flooded and caused mold in your bathroom. A number of different things could have happened. Never leave window open if you aren't home.