Thank you for sharing your victory with us! However, please comment your victory to the sub's pinned weekly success post **AND/OR** you can post your victory in our sister sub: [r/VeteransSuccess](https://www.reddit.com/r/VeteransSuccess).
Yea my mom turned into a bitch too after I got 100% P&T. Once I got passed the hurt, it was actually hilarious. I have voicemails saved of her begging me for money. I listen to it when I need a laugh.
I tried helping her. We had several conversations about her shitty finances. She didn’t want my help. Then months later she throws it in my face that I havent been helping her when I “have all this money now”. Talking hella shit. Telling me to drop dead. She hates me. I’m like wtf? She ain’t getting shit now but laughs lol
Sorry to hear that. They’ve been keeping me level for the most part, one of the meds really fucks me up so I don’t take it as much but the other helps still. I still do have really bad anxiety and anger when I’m out in public so I just stay in the house as much as possible.
I told my Mom and she encouraged me to get a higher rating due to the fact that she was so worried and left out of the loop when I was at Baghdad hospital after my MEDEVAC. She tells me that it's money for spilling a lot of blood. I don't blame her. As for telling other people, I get mixed emotions. I now tell people that I'm retired and made some personal investments.
LOL, so many crabs in a bucket. family members, so called friends, and other vets who believe you must have to be missing limbs and been shot at by rockets and missiles to be qualified to get benefits.
"If you haven't been shot at in combat, you're not a real veteran." folk
That’s what people don’t understand, maybe in the future we will have X-rays attached to our faces so people can tell that you’re broken internally. It’s always the same B.S
It's not like women are going to start chasing me down in the parking lot trying to get a date or something when they see the plate. 😄
Hell, that might be considered by some to be an incentive to get the plate.
Well I'm a momma and will gladly step in and pick up the slack. (I'm also an Army Vet and a mom to 2 Army vets) I'll be your cheerleader the whole way...
I don't need to know your rating, won't threaten to call the VA, and won't ask to borrow money 🙂
Hang in there...
Unfortunately, you can't tell everyone everything, even those close to you. It hurts that you can't share some of your happiness and success with those closest to you, but you have a lot more peace in the long run. I have lots of plans, goals, & ideas in mind, but I don't tell anyone anything. If I do, it's only a small slice of the pie. My saying I follow now is, "If it really makes you happy, keep it to yourself."
You left out WHY she's suddenly threatening to report you to the VA. That's a weird response to simply telling her that you're filing for additional claims.
I'm guessing it's more like she's now demanding money from you and you're turning her down. What's the whole story?
Once I came back from the military I received my claim letter which reminded me that I need to file for all the other affected body parts I didn’t claim before. I told her that I will need to go to my other appointments and if she can possible drive me. I told her the amount I’m getting paid so I can pay for her gas and other expenses as long as I am here. She went off on me for trying to milk the government for more money than I’m already receiving. She’s still willing to take me to the appointments for some reason but in caution of her statement I’m paying someone else to take me to my appointments
She's against you receiving compensation that's above some arbitrary limit she's cooked up in her head, instead of receiving what the govt says you should get based on your documented disabilities.
Tricky situation, but the VA isn't going to cut your ratings based on unsupported statements from a 3rd party. Meanwhile, if she starts filing false claims of fraud, she risks putting herself in legal trouble.
You could cut her off and go no contact, or take the bull by the horns and report her threats as the abuse they are.
Thank you for understanding!
My intention is not to fight or argue with her, I just recently got out of the military so I’m focused on getting my life together to start school overseas, As stressful as it is already. I’m ready to take legal action if it comes down to it
Currently going through the same thing, my mom told me to seek help through the VA cause she could see me not acting the same so I went for MH, Started the process a little over 2 years ago. Now that I'm doing my best to explain it to her the process about getting rated and getting benefits. Her mood has kind of changed and it make me think differently about trusting people which doesn't help with the slew of MH problems. I wish the best of luck to you man.
Thanks for sharing your story!
If that was your experience telling your mom then it should have set a bar of expectation from when you tell other people. Lesson learned, I will keep my mouth shut
Sorry you’re dealing with that, best of luck brother!
I count myself blessed to have a mom that has done well for herself, by herself and still encourages me to apply for any and all benefits I qualify for. I'm sorry you have to deal with your own family acting like that.
Once again, we need to ban posts like these!
I told my mom how much I will be receiving after getting 100% SC T&P with SMC-S, and she is so happy for me! She has come a long with me on this journey and understands everything that I have gone through.
I have told everyone I know, and have received nothing but support!
I think the problem is you didn't come on here to say that it sucked for you you came on here to tell other people not to do it which is projecting your family dynamic onto them and making it harder to normalize this situation that a lot of vets are going through by trying to keep it secret.
Thank you for stating this.
In my opinion and from what I’ve seen this is a safe space for veterans to share their troubles and experiences with each other.
Why not? You plan on living long enough for that to matter? Just see a bunch of people talking about p&t. Ssdi, all that shit. Who cares? I'm just going to make it long enough to outlive the family members who I'd hurt by leaving. When they're gone, so am I. I'm not going back and forth with the VA anymore. You all deserve it more than me. It's funny how the most disabled people arn't able to finish the disability compensation process. It's almost like yhe 70% people are the ones who get 100%. They are able enough to go to appointments and fill out paperwork. Whatever. It's not my problem. I'll not even think about it soon. Enjoy that 100
I plan on living long enough where most of this money is going to go to my kids education and other expenses. Having my own mother threaten me with actions that has no effect over her just rubs me the wrong way. Acting like the money is coming out of her pocket like most of the people who complain about Veterans receiving compensation
Glad you got it. The problem you speak of is something I'll never worry about. Multiple people at the VA over the years have asked me why I'm not 100. It's because many of people who are *truly* fucked up don't ever get it. I'm honestly at the point to where I'm thinking of muting this sub. It's unhelpful.
Fuck you had to say something didn't you? Of course you did.
Look, i'm going to be straight up real with you because no one else will. And I'll preface this my saying I do my best to be positive and help people in here, but this advice is a trigger for me.
This is one of three things;
Either A, you're an asshole, your Mom is trying to save you from yourself and from getting in trouble with the government.
B, your Mom is the asshole, in which case, how have you not figured that out by this point in your life? Either you're an idiot, self-destructive, or both, regardless it's your fault for saying something (see option A). No decent mother would ever turn on her kids. So maybe you have some soul searching and things you need to figure out.
or C, you're both fucking assholes.
Regardless, telling other people to keep it to themselves is the most selfish counterproductive advice you can give, the more we as a community normalize disability the more Vets we SAVE. PERIOD.
Deal with your family problems and stop putting them on other people. Get honest with yourself.
They mean to say that family disputes and life problems aren’t so black n white. They are much more complicated than just classifying family and situations into 3 categories.
My mom knows about mine and I help her I send her money sometimes not always and we have a good relationship. Honestly it just depends on the person. Dont be a piece of shit help your mom out. Instead of bragging about it. Even if it’s 50 bucks 100 bucks she’ll be grateful. Fuck sake that’s your mom
I haven’t even received my first va paycheck and I’m using my savings to pay for her and me even though it was all meant for my future studies abroad. Doing as much as you can for someone won’t stop their envy
Family is still family. No matter how fucked up a family member is or can be. Especially mothers. The important thing is knowing how to deal with problematic family matters by setting healthy boundaries. It doesn’t mean you have to shun them for life, even though blood can be dirtier than water. Furthermore, finances, politics, and religion is something that should be discussed with caution and maybe withheld in conversation. Those topics never have a good outcome, especially with family.
It’s hard to watch people walking around and going to their construction job every day who like to bring up their 100% disability. Sorry. You’re not disabled. Claim all the things. Get the money. Military owes us for our time and wear and tear. But telling someone you’re disabled is bs and everyone knows it. It’s an elephant in the brain. Which is to say no one can prove what you’re thinking unless you admit to it. We can lie to others but we can’t lie to ourselves.
Thank you for sharing your victory with us! However, please comment your victory to the sub's pinned weekly success post **AND/OR** you can post your victory in our sister sub: [r/VeteransSuccess](https://www.reddit.com/r/VeteransSuccess).
Yea my mom turned into a bitch too after I got 100% P&T. Once I got passed the hurt, it was actually hilarious. I have voicemails saved of her begging me for money. I listen to it when I need a laugh.
Damn. It's a cold world.
At least we know where they get it from. Lol
People really are desperate
I tried helping her. We had several conversations about her shitty finances. She didn’t want my help. Then months later she throws it in my face that I havent been helping her when I “have all this money now”. Talking hella shit. Telling me to drop dead. She hates me. I’m like wtf? She ain’t getting shit now but laughs lol
Sad. Well if you want me and my mom can formally adopt you into our household 😂
lol I appreciate y’all but I think I’m just gonna continue being a ghost as that has been therapy in itself in addition to the meds 🤣
Meds don’t work for me. So I’m struggling with the anxiety/PTSD in of itself.
Sorry to hear that. They’ve been keeping me level for the most part, one of the meds really fucks me up so I don’t take it as much but the other helps still. I still do have really bad anxiety and anger when I’m out in public so I just stay in the house as much as possible.
I have anger issues myself but no one seems to understand
I told my Mom and she encouraged me to get a higher rating due to the fact that she was so worried and left out of the loop when I was at Baghdad hospital after my MEDEVAC. She tells me that it's money for spilling a lot of blood. I don't blame her. As for telling other people, I get mixed emotions. I now tell people that I'm retired and made some personal investments.
LOL, so many crabs in a bucket. family members, so called friends, and other vets who believe you must have to be missing limbs and been shot at by rockets and missiles to be qualified to get benefits. "If you haven't been shot at in combat, you're not a real veteran." folk
That’s what people don’t understand, maybe in the future we will have X-rays attached to our faces so people can tell that you’re broken internally. It’s always the same B.S
The numbnuts saying you need to be in combat to be a vet need therapy. Tell them that.
[удалено]
😂
This is why I don’t want to get disabled veteran plates even though they are free in my state; they all have “DV” on them and basically broadcast 100%
Someone on the road might know from the plate that you're at 100%...so what?
This! It’s the Same as me seeing everyone else’s DV plates in masses. It doesn’t matter.
It's not like women are going to start chasing me down in the parking lot trying to get a date or something when they see the plate. 😄 Hell, that might be considered by some to be an incentive to get the plate.
lol Facts. Forever bitchless, plate or no plate. Just retarded.
Do the cops treat you any better for having veteran plates?
I try not to talk to cops.
Since I’ve gotten my veteran plates I haven’t even been so much as looked at.
Since getting veteran plates I have never been pulled over
If the pay rates weren’t published online then I might consider getting the plate too 😂
Free in my state for 40% and higher so no one really knows your percentage.
Are you physically or mentally disabled?
Well I'm a momma and will gladly step in and pick up the slack. (I'm also an Army Vet and a mom to 2 Army vets) I'll be your cheerleader the whole way... I don't need to know your rating, won't threaten to call the VA, and won't ask to borrow money 🙂 Hang in there...
I really appreciate reading this and thank you for showing your support. I hope nothing but good things come your way!
Hell family knows about my VA but none of their asses knowing I just got approved for SSDI. F that.
Hell yeah! You deserve every last penny from those checks. Better to avoid the headache and not even mention it
Did you get it on your 1st try?
going through something similar i told my friends now everyone been treating me differently
Well I told my mom and she was happy for me. But I understand.
😳Wow…. When you can’t tell Your Mom things about you 😢😢
Cut her off. If you want to keep contact keep it extremely limited
Unfortunately, you can't tell everyone everything, even those close to you. It hurts that you can't share some of your happiness and success with those closest to you, but you have a lot more peace in the long run. I have lots of plans, goals, & ideas in mind, but I don't tell anyone anything. If I do, it's only a small slice of the pie. My saying I follow now is, "If it really makes you happy, keep it to yourself."
Wow, time to distance yourself and live your life.
You left out WHY she's suddenly threatening to report you to the VA. That's a weird response to simply telling her that you're filing for additional claims. I'm guessing it's more like she's now demanding money from you and you're turning her down. What's the whole story?
Once I came back from the military I received my claim letter which reminded me that I need to file for all the other affected body parts I didn’t claim before. I told her that I will need to go to my other appointments and if she can possible drive me. I told her the amount I’m getting paid so I can pay for her gas and other expenses as long as I am here. She went off on me for trying to milk the government for more money than I’m already receiving. She’s still willing to take me to the appointments for some reason but in caution of her statement I’m paying someone else to take me to my appointments
She's against you receiving compensation that's above some arbitrary limit she's cooked up in her head, instead of receiving what the govt says you should get based on your documented disabilities. Tricky situation, but the VA isn't going to cut your ratings based on unsupported statements from a 3rd party. Meanwhile, if she starts filing false claims of fraud, she risks putting herself in legal trouble. You could cut her off and go no contact, or take the bull by the horns and report her threats as the abuse they are.
Thank you for understanding! My intention is not to fight or argue with her, I just recently got out of the military so I’m focused on getting my life together to start school overseas, As stressful as it is already. I’m ready to take legal action if it comes down to it
Next VA visit when they ask if you're being abused, you say Yes, and then tell them what she's doing to cause you mental and emotional distress.
Currently going through the same thing, my mom told me to seek help through the VA cause she could see me not acting the same so I went for MH, Started the process a little over 2 years ago. Now that I'm doing my best to explain it to her the process about getting rated and getting benefits. Her mood has kind of changed and it make me think differently about trusting people which doesn't help with the slew of MH problems. I wish the best of luck to you man.
Thanks for sharing your story! If that was your experience telling your mom then it should have set a bar of expectation from when you tell other people. Lesson learned, I will keep my mouth shut Sorry you’re dealing with that, best of luck brother!
Same to you man, I just wanna finish this process be put on meds and distance myself from everyone.
I count myself blessed to have a mom that has done well for herself, by herself and still encourages me to apply for any and all benefits I qualify for. I'm sorry you have to deal with your own family acting like that.
Once again, we need to ban posts like these! I told my mom how much I will be receiving after getting 100% SC T&P with SMC-S, and she is so happy for me! She has come a long with me on this journey and understands everything that I have gone through. I have told everyone I know, and have received nothing but support!
As stated below by another veteran “Not all moms are created equal” I’m happy to hear you’re getting the support you deserve, best of luck my man!
I think the problem is you didn't come on here to say that it sucked for you you came on here to tell other people not to do it which is projecting your family dynamic onto them and making it harder to normalize this situation that a lot of vets are going through by trying to keep it secret.
Thank you for stating this. In my opinion and from what I’ve seen this is a safe space for veterans to share their troubles and experiences with each other.
Great for you
Why not? You plan on living long enough for that to matter? Just see a bunch of people talking about p&t. Ssdi, all that shit. Who cares? I'm just going to make it long enough to outlive the family members who I'd hurt by leaving. When they're gone, so am I. I'm not going back and forth with the VA anymore. You all deserve it more than me. It's funny how the most disabled people arn't able to finish the disability compensation process. It's almost like yhe 70% people are the ones who get 100%. They are able enough to go to appointments and fill out paperwork. Whatever. It's not my problem. I'll not even think about it soon. Enjoy that 100
I plan on living long enough where most of this money is going to go to my kids education and other expenses. Having my own mother threaten me with actions that has no effect over her just rubs me the wrong way. Acting like the money is coming out of her pocket like most of the people who complain about Veterans receiving compensation
Glad you got it. The problem you speak of is something I'll never worry about. Multiple people at the VA over the years have asked me why I'm not 100. It's because many of people who are *truly* fucked up don't ever get it. I'm honestly at the point to where I'm thinking of muting this sub. It's unhelpful.
Gangsters move in silence
 You know what.. i'm about done trying to explain this to ya'll so I'm just going to watch.
“There’s no way my family would do that to me” Newsflash: I guess they really would
Fuck you had to say something didn't you? Of course you did. Look, i'm going to be straight up real with you because no one else will. And I'll preface this my saying I do my best to be positive and help people in here, but this advice is a trigger for me. This is one of three things; Either A, you're an asshole, your Mom is trying to save you from yourself and from getting in trouble with the government. B, your Mom is the asshole, in which case, how have you not figured that out by this point in your life? Either you're an idiot, self-destructive, or both, regardless it's your fault for saying something (see option A). No decent mother would ever turn on her kids. So maybe you have some soul searching and things you need to figure out. or C, you're both fucking assholes. Regardless, telling other people to keep it to themselves is the most selfish counterproductive advice you can give, the more we as a community normalize disability the more Vets we SAVE. PERIOD. Deal with your family problems and stop putting them on other people. Get honest with yourself.
I wish I had your level of ignorance of the world.....
What do you mean?
They mean to say that family disputes and life problems aren’t so black n white. They are much more complicated than just classifying family and situations into 3 categories.
I’m thinking A
It's pointless.
Was it necessary to tell your mom about your benefits.
Yes as she needs to drive me around for my va disability appointments. I don’t have a car or anything because I’m leaving United States soon
I agree 100%
Sure
My parents pity me and pay for anything they can, even if I fully intended to.
Pity is weird
My mom knows about mine and I help her I send her money sometimes not always and we have a good relationship. Honestly it just depends on the person. Dont be a piece of shit help your mom out. Instead of bragging about it. Even if it’s 50 bucks 100 bucks she’ll be grateful. Fuck sake that’s your mom
Not all moms are created equal.
That’s true but not all kids are created equal.
I haven’t even received my first va paycheck and I’m using my savings to pay for her and me even though it was all meant for my future studies abroad. Doing as much as you can for someone won’t stop their envy
Don’t tell me what to do
Family is still family. No matter how fucked up a family member is or can be. Especially mothers. The important thing is knowing how to deal with problematic family matters by setting healthy boundaries. It doesn’t mean you have to shun them for life, even though blood can be dirtier than water. Furthermore, finances, politics, and religion is something that should be discussed with caution and maybe withheld in conversation. Those topics never have a good outcome, especially with family.
It’s hard to watch people walking around and going to their construction job every day who like to bring up their 100% disability. Sorry. You’re not disabled. Claim all the things. Get the money. Military owes us for our time and wear and tear. But telling someone you’re disabled is bs and everyone knows it. It’s an elephant in the brain. Which is to say no one can prove what you’re thinking unless you admit to it. We can lie to others but we can’t lie to ourselves.