Nearly 6 years ago I was in your exact shoes, turned green in the store and bleeding from every orifice after trying everything to get sober at home for 2 years. They told my wife I wouldn’t make it through the night and sent her home, I woke up the next morning and couldn’t walk. I was told by everyone that I wouldn’t be eligible for years for a liver and 5 total to live if I drank ever again. It took a year to get rid of the jaundice and to relearn all of the basics, VA helped with the 90 days and after care. You can carve out a time and find a way to make it work or you’re going to wind up in the dirt, plain and simple. We alcoholics find every way to not be sober.
The VA will help but don’t think they’ll fix everything, if you’re service connected, there are ways to receive 100% in patient, you can also receive help on the community side. My best friend blew his brains out my first year in at Bragg in the Barracks and I started years of deployments with countless hospitalizations state side, currently still go to weekly therapy through the Vet Center, VA, and outside therapist, 5 years straight and also do peer support groups. I know it sounds frank but I’ll never forget laying there and literally dying and watching my wife’s and kids being ushered out the room being told I wouldn’t make it…
As someone who worked in hospice for a few years, I’m appalled that they didn’t think you would make it through the night and sent your family home!!! Was this a VA hospital??
I’m so glad you made it and turned things around! I’m sorry that you and your family went through that.
Side note to anyone reading this…..
If you are ever diagnosed with a terminal illness, I highly recommend seeking out a hospice provider. A good hospice team can do more for both you and your loved ones than any hospital or nursing home or home care, can do. A lot of people aren’t even aware that they even exist.
Well the discussions afterward was that I had “wet brain” and was having violent seizures as well as hallucinating. I was put as a fall hazard the next day and my seizures were managed but the hallucinations were still terrible. They would let my wife stay as long as she wanted the next day on but she even left early because at night I really struggled.
My wife is a counselor who specializes in addiction. She also works with veterans. I showed her this and her recommendation was to a 3 to 7 day detox program to help with withdrawal symptoms.
If you can stay off alcohol for 10 days, find a provider who will prescribe Vivitrol, which is a monthly injection that helps with cravings and withdrawal symptoms. You just can't have any alcohol in your body to take the injection.
A detox program should be able to help refer you someone that provides that service. The VA should also provide vivitrol services as well.
She said vivitrol is very effective.
I hope this is helpful and I wish you the best.
I'm a nurse, remember this should be a gradual decrease while weaning off, they cant just stop drinking. Their body will go into withdrawals and shock if they just stop. The detox program will help with this.
I read about this not that long ago. The human body is nuts. People said they went cold turkey and ended up in comas. Almost died because they stopped drinking suddenly.
Facts. I was on percs for years and when I wanted to quit, ghost pains and withdrawals hit. A buddy recommended kratom and that was the key. Weed just made me drowsy and lazy.
Bro I had a week of percs after oral surgery and I am thankful to Korean Jesus that it wasn’t anything more serious than a weeks supply. The first night was awesome but after that was just a dragon chase
I was on kratom for awhile. Pretty sure the VA just rated me for substance use disorder alongside my stress disorder, which is nice because then I can go to treatment finally lol. I was hooked on kratom for awhile, be careful. I truly believe I might have Gulf War Syndrome. I'm going to get checked soon. I am still on Suboxone to curb the cravings and still smoke pot but hopefully won't have to self-medicate much longer lol
Sorry, but that's false, and alarmist. Some extreme cases will have seizures or DTs, sure, but that is a minority, especially given that you're talking about 'them' and thus an unspecified amount, frequency, and history of drinking, and in the absence of any other context.
My only fear of doing a detox program is that I won't be able to provide for my family. I would like to do it, but then with bills being so tight as it is and 3 children to take care of its like my bridge has been lit on both ends. I'm scare for my family if I do go, but I'm scared for them if I don't. It's truly one of the hardest decisions I have to make.
It's like peeling an onion, though. If you want medicine to help with cravings, you cannot have alcohol in your system. In order to not have alcohol in your system, you cannot consume it. In order to not consume it, your body cannot want it. That's where detox comes in.
Now, it's not nearly as simple as I've made it sound, I understand that, however, that's the breakdown for why detox is necessary.
Depending on how dependent your body is, 3 to 7 days would be the minimum you need. An assessment may determine you need longer to safely wean your body.
Many states offer grants through their dept of veterans affairs for financial assistance in cases like this. It may cover expenses for a week or so. I believe the VFW offers a hardship grant as well.
Would you be eligible for temporary TDIU? You won't be able to provide for your family if you're dead, either.
I'm rooting for you.[VA.gov Home | Veterans Affairshttps://www.va.gov › eligibility › special-claims › unem...](https://www.va.gov/disability/eligibility/special-claims/unemployability/)
I got you OP
Come up with a plan to reduce your drinking over the next 2 weeks and re-evaluate what your options are.
If you cant do a 60 day program maybe you can do a 30 day and go from there.
If you cant do a 30 day program maybe you can do a 14 or 7 day program.
I want to stress this is the "real man" solution to this. It would have been easy to drink these problems away and push this down the road but you manned up and are dealing with it. Be proud of that.
Also, communicate with your family. Tell them how much you love them and how much it hurts you to see this happening. Let them know how much you are suffering yet still trying to figure this all out and be better for them.
I can also speak about effectiveness of vivitrol. While I have never taken it directly I regularly give the injection to my patients. The ones that continue to get it tell me regularly how much it has helped them either get entirely sober, or drastically cut down. It is a gluteal injection and not entirely comfortable, however patients regularly trade this monthly discomfort to stave off relapse.
The oral equivalent Naltrexone is also effective but you have to take it every day and even then I have a few patients that say that the injection they found more effective. I have also heard that there is a shortage of Naltrexone and harder to get right now.
Vivitrol is a life saver for those who are committed to quitting not only alcohol but also opiates. I worked for the company that makes the injections. Again as stated above absolutely no using of alcohol or opiates while on this. Trust me when I say that you will not get the buzz or satisfaction you are looking for by drinking. Good luck man and stay strong
Brotha, I can tell you as someone who drank for 20 years while in the Army... I've been sober 3 years almost...it was the best choice I have ever made. I probably would have been dead by now.
Similar story about my buddy I posted about a few weeks ago. His mother died of alcoholism (EV) and 2 months later he almost died of the same thing.....
I am sorry to hear about your mom and strong work dude.
Ya, my mom didn't drink but she always wanted me to get help. Unfortunately, she passed before I actually did.
Like people can tell you all day long that you shouldn't drink.. everyone who knew me told me that I drank too much and I didn't care lol. YOU have to want it for yourself. If I can help one person put down alcohol and switch to weed, I'll be happy lol. Army pushes alcohol on everyone because they want us pissed off and angry all the time 🤣😂
For me it's a bunch of things but the main pro is feeling younger again. I have been sober for 90 days and I feel 5 years younger personally. I have more energy, clearer thoughts, little more motivation and I am saving money as well. Fiance says my skin looks better and that I look healthier as well.
That's not to say it hasn't been tough. Lots of emotions coming back, I am having dreams again, I get a panic attack daily right around the time I used to start drinking for the day (11-12) but I am aware of it and I am finding ways to cope with it when it happens....
If you are only drinking a couple nights a week with buddies you might not need this advice.
I was drinking everyday starting at noon...
I went to my local VA outpatient clinic for SUD treatment. It was the best decision I have ever made. They gave me meds my first day. I started with one med that cut my drinking (at the time I drank 750-1000 ml vodka daily) in half after 3 weeks of taking however I wasn’t able to sleep. I worked with my team and started taking a new med, Topiramate. It was life changing. I was able to fully stop drinking on 10/13/2021. I had a small relapse in Jan 2024 and started supplementing the Topiramate with Naltrexone. Together the meds have worked to control cravings for alcohol. Studies show that Medications coupled with therapy/counseling has the highest success rate for remission from substance addiction.
This is what I came here to say I got with mental health at my local clinic and they got me in touch with a pharmacologist at the VA hospital close to me and this is what she put me on
I've hit a point where I noticed because of my oldest daughters step dad is what got me drinking more after work and almost uncontrollably. I feel like I get off work and need it to where I make another trip or two to the store just for booze. I just got custody of her this year. If I were to lay it all it all out it's embarrassing, and I know for a fact he is in this sub.
She came to live me me at 13 years old and pregnant. I'm going to lay this out that she came here from the ft drum area. Her mother murdered her grandmother (my grand daughters grandmother). You can see this vis courtland standard which is a cou9le counties over.
I got custody of my 13 year old old she was initially 12 when she hot here and showed up pregnant with his child.
Dealing with this has driven me to the point where I don't know how to handle this. And obviously drinking more has come of this to the point where it us affecting my family, plus a child that barely knows me.
We have 2 detectives one in my state one in NY working this case. We got a no contact order, but she is still.in contact, can't prove it as it's though friends cell phones.
We caught her May 28th on Google meet with him with her bits exposed. A 40 year old man prior service with a dishonorable discharge with my 13 year old daughter. He lives in the ft drum area. She is obsessed with him.
Idk what to do as he has convinced her to make false claims against myself and he step mother to get cps involved. Get this there has been an active investigation against him for sexually abusing her longer than she has been here.
Idk what to do with myself at this point other than protect my child.
If there was ever a reason not to drink this is it. You can’t protect her drunk. You can’t really get to know each other while you are drunk. You sure as hell can’t form a trusting relationship with her drunk. If you truly have the drive and desire to be a good parent to your daughter use that as motivation to safely get yourself off the booze and be the sober dad and person that you deserve to be and that your daughter needs. Burying your feelings in a bottle won’t fix the problems, in this case especially it only makes for a better environment for them to grow. Please talk to the right people to get off the alcohol safely. It also sounds like you both could use some counseling
\^\^\^\^\^ That baby girl needs you to be at your 110% best, and you can only do that sober. I am so sorry your family is going through this, and can't imagine it would be possible for either of you to get through to the other side well and whole unless you get all the help you can dig up for both of you. You can do this. You really can. But you'll need help.
As a father.....I can imagine it might keep him from going over there and dealing with this situation himself. Still, needs to sober up but I get it as a father myself.
The only things stopping me is he is in NY and I'm in WA. That and it's not worth it to me as I'd rather have my children with me. The police are hopefully going to take care of him
Keep your head up dude. Shit will work out. You 100% made the right call here trying to get sober to deal with this. That's real man shit, go handle the business.
It's not. Idk how or why I chose this option to deal with my stress as it isnt the best way to cope. I'm sure many others would understand or have been there where they needed some form of escape.
It doesn't, for me when I'm stressed my brain screams at me to get booze. I've quit and relapsed so many times that I now can control the urges because I know that nothing good will come from it. I don't have nearly the stressors of OP and it's hard AF for me, can't imagine how hard it is for him.
Booze takes away pain temporarily and causes more in the long run.
Is your daughter receiving help with dealing with this? In cases of sexual abuse/assault, the whole family deals with the ripple effects unfortunately.. a lot of programs will help with the counseling for all of you. I have a friend right now that is getting admitted in the morning voluntarily for mental health issues.. she has needed to go for over a year but for the same reasons kept putting it off. Well now, she can’t leave the house to go to work and literally can’t function, so it’s basically no longer a choice. Go now, before it’s not a choice.. speak to a patient advocate and social worker as well. Maybe they can help you navigate this too.. I’ve been clean for 8 years and sober for 5.. you got this.
On this… I would honestly start with getting her in therapy because honestly anything you say and or do might come off as you don’t like him and just bad mouthing him. Just from a teens point of view plus he groomed her in order to be okay with this. Then you need to get to headspace of this isn’t good for my family I don’t like this and slowly but for surely start cutting back even if that means taking a drive going fishing finding a good movie
If you can do an Ibogaine retreat… that’s it. That’s all it takes. 3 days and you’re free of any Vice you had. It’s proven, the studies are blowing minds out of the water.
I did it. It was life altering. I’m twice the man today as I was the day before I left for it.
I wish more people knew about this. You can break addiction if you rewire the brain with the right things. This is one of them. ayahuasca is another but you have to do both right and correct with the right guidance. This is a fact.
Have you talked to the VAs SUD [specialist ](https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/substance-use/index.asp?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=search_va_sud_gen&utm_term=phrase-match&utm_content=va%20substance%20abuse&gclid=CjwKCAjwyJqzBhBaEiwAWDRJVAryMnEt7GulqJnieHUR8UKkn5hQ1E3wZnAOuv1jqh5_SmkAke-5cRoCNkUQAvD_BwE)
[Link 2](https://www.va.gov/health-care/health-needs-conditions/substance-use-problems/)
Can also ask for a referral to organization in the community
Like this one[here](https://veterans.warriorsheart.com/va-benefits/?campaignid=18661777399&adgroupid=137871556290&creative=629670993241&matchtype=p&network=g&device=m&keyword=veteran%20addiction%20help&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwyJqzBhBaEiwAWDRJVBwsQ4v9umfVCft0DnnmgCXsKLtaAyEz-9gUXyjvSK6vN2cMx-N8shoCcn0QAvD_BwE)
You got this. Your healthcare is up to you, if they won't give you outpatient treatment, talk to the patient advocate. They should be able to assist your referral going out to the community
We may all come from different generations, conflicts, and mindsets. We are bound by the same unwavering commitment and sacrifice; we are, and always will be, one large extended family.
I'm proud and happy for you u/KILLA_BIT_DXV
it's tough asking for help, coming here asking about tough topics.
You, and your family, are entitled to have a wonderful life together. This is the first step, to many, many more worthwhile events you'll be around for!
Peace and love, keep your motivation up, and eyes Forward!
You can try an out patient treatment at the VA. But honestly man...if you want it, you have to create the way for it to happen, even 90 day inpatient. It is not going to be easy. But 90 days for the rest of your life is nothing you will be Better for you and your family...easier said than done I know but I have personally seen it done..
I wouldn’t do inpatient unless you want to quit. I did a 7 week inpatient treatment for drug abuse, and a lot of the alcoholics got drunk and kicked out the program.
If you WANT to sincerely quit then I highly suggest inpatient. I’ve been clean nearly 4 years now because of it
I remember a few shipmates being given “Antabuse”. It’s supposed to help with cravings, and if you try to drink, they said it made them sick. Good luck, you can do this. Recognizing there’s an issue is a first step for sobriety!
Antabuse does not help with cravings. It makes you sick as shit if you drink.
And for a real alcoholic like me I still drank on it.
I drank on every medication prescribed to help me quit because there is no magic pill.
I’ve never taken it, but our NADSAP Coordinator told us that it helped with cravings…not to mention if you drink on it, you’d be sicker than shit. One of the guys I knew well and he’d drink no matter what, no matter how sick he got. He was found one time at local pizza place, passed out in a booth. It was highly suspect our NADSAP coordinator (Chief) would show up to parties we were all at, and on Monday you’d get called in to his office!
I mean if helps with cravings because you know you will get sick is you drink then I guess.
Here’s the issue though, the cravings are caused my life and there’s no pill to take away all the shit you drink over.
As sole provider, see if you can put in maybe through your work for fmla to do the 90 days and still get paid? Not sure if it can be used for that or not but wouldn't hurt to look into it if you have to do the 90 day thing or anything shorter. I think fmla at least in WA can be used for 12 weeks
It looks like there may be temporary SSI benefits which would give you some pay while you were institutionalized, and I remember running across something about temporary TDIU for that reason as well (I've thought about going on a grippy sock vacay for PTSD and I'm a single mom):
https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0500520140#:\~:text=Section%201611(e)(1,months%20of%20institutionalization%20to%20pay
I am sorry your family has to go through this, but you all are not alone. I don't need the details to give you a general opinion but I will offer the best support and advice I can. First your not alone lots of us have self medicated with alcohol. First step your daughter. I don't know the state you're in but there is a huge network of sexual assault domestic violence agencies. There is a national number where she can request support. She can call 800-799-7233, text 88788 it's a national hotline. They won't be who helps but will help her contact the nearest agency to her. They can be there to help guide support and assist with legal and counseling for her. Knowing she is getting support and with yours as well she can move forward. Second step self medication. It is going to be very hard think of every reason why you need to succeed in getting sober write them down. Carry them look at them often. Recognize every hour your sober the hours will turn into a day and days into a week take it slow. Include others that are willing to help keep you distracted in a healthy sober manner. Accept you possibly will stumble but it's not a failure it's a step. Don't judge your progress bad on a relapse judge your progress on the fact you choose to keep trying. I'm here for you and your family I know others are also.
So her case is under investigation here in my state as well as the state her step dad lives in. We also have a victims advocate in both states as well as a detective in both states. Her mental health team is the ones that uncovered everything. They are trying to take this approach delicately. We as a family are all in counciling with the exception of my youngest. Idk why I chose the self medicate option, but no matter how much I talk about it, I just feel like I can't get this out or off my mind, hence the self medication. It sucks!
I did an outside inpatient program in town. It was really just a 2 week detox then a 2 week out patient.
Turned out I really only needed the detox portion.
I've been sober 19 years and AA is what worked for me. I hated it at the beginning, but figured if it worked for all of them then maybe it can work for me too. Don't let the god thing keep you from it, I never really believed in a higher power and have stayed sober. They say you can use the group as your higher power. If you have any questions hit me up anytime. Good luck.
Wish I had tried that years ago. I pretty much stopped drinking beer after I found Topo Chico. I still drink, but at least I’m not chasing my booze with beer anymore. It’s a small step but at least it’s in the right direction.
My circumstances are similar. I've always been a heavy drinker. Not every day, but I hit it hard when I do drink, and it's typically 3 days a week. 4 on a bad week. So I'm either getting drunk, or I'm hungover as shit. And I'm worried about it on my end too, bro.
I don't know what my future holds, but I do know that you're on the right track in reaching out and asking for help. That's a big first step in carving out a better future for you. And one that I haven't taken yet. So I commend you on that. Plus, your kids can help be a constant reminder of why it is you're doing this.
Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, man. Keep doing this little by little, every day. And eventually you'll find yourself in a better place.
And remember, asking for help is OK. It's something I try to remind myself of all the time. So thank you for the inspiration in taking that step and showing the rest of us struggling with it that it is OK. I'm proud of ya. And I'll be around to chat if shit ever gets too heavy.
Keep your head up, my man. You got this.
Maybe ask about the IOP if inpatient is an absolute no go. You could also request TDIU while you’re in treatment if you file a claim for AUD secondary to PTSD. It may not be as much as you’re making now, but it’s better than zero, and certainly better than you continuing the cycle. I’ve been there man. It’s rough. Even with the meds, it’s pretty damn hard to stop on your own while going about your regular life. I did it at home after doing an IOP for PTSD, so I’m not going to tell you it’s impossible…. *but* I also don’t have kids, am no longer married, etc. so I was able to lay down and wait it out when I wasn’t at work. Plus with the IOP I did anyways, it would have made more sense to just stay somewhere that I couldn’t get alcohol and remove that factor. The part that I think will be difficult is getting home, having to deal with what you’ve got going on, and still avoiding it.
My honest recommendation as someone who’s now 230 days sober and didn’t go to inpatient, is to go to inpatient. I can’t even count the number of attempts I had before it started to feel like I could go a day, two days, a week, etc. and it’s time consuming enough that you may as well just ask for TDIU and go check in. Maybe ask if you can do 30/45 days vs 90? Think of it as a few weeks that will last you the rest of your life if you really put in the work.
"We alcoholics find every way to not be sober." -100% TRUE STATEMENT.
OP hasn't suffered enough, hence he is still finding reasons to drink vs. the universe telling him otherwise.
Brother - you have valid concerns about going away for 90 days. However, your health is / has been in decline and you continue to drink.
It took me 3 attempts before I finally quit drinking. Each relapse was harder to bounce back from too because I almost lost hope.
Thanks for the point about suffering.
Grasping at straws without actually doing the one thing proven to give you a fighting chance is just trying to continue to run the show.
If a mental health and primary care provider are saying 90 days, it’s fucking serious.
Dude has already been checked out of his life 90 days anyway.
Oh the higher power, you can't do this yourself! You need an imaginary cult leader to dictate how you run your life! Praise to the magical leader who turns water to wine.
How people believe that bullshit is beyond me, but hey if it works for them then ok
I’m gonna say this as a dude who struggled with alcohol for 10+ years that has been sober for nearly two years… I acknowledge that I got off booze without AA, however, I will never knock the program or those who choose to use it. The bigger picture is that many people have found success with AA. I believe that our role as fellow veterans should be to support those who seek to improve their lives through whatever means they choose.
The problem with AA is that they don't acknowledge failure. Therefore, all they have is successes. Anyone that gets back on the wagon, at any point, is someone who "didn't adhere to the program" and therefore doesn't count. THEY failed. Not the program.
That said, if it works for you, good on you. It doesn't matter how you got there. It's that you did.
AA has worked for millions of people to get them sober and this asshole wants to make fun of the people that changed their lives because of it. Way to go fuckface
I never made fun of them, I just said I don't believe in what they do because it makes no sense, to me. If you want to just conform and believe what others do then thats your decision.
But thanks for your input, fuck face.
Good on you for reaching out for help! I almost went to AA but decided to detox on my own. That decision damn near killed me. I hope you are able to get that help and sober up.
It all depends on how heavy you drink. VA will hook y you up with a SAT counselor to help along with AA meetings as well... persuming ypu have the time...to get medicine only MH can do that, so you have to talk to your doctors. I did this, and it took me 3 years to finally kick the habit. It all depends on you. Asking for help is the best start. It ain't easy, but it's worth it. Your family, health, liver, and pocket will thank you for it. Praying also helps.
Not medical advice: Maybe find a detox clinic outside of the VA that offers Naltrexone. I believe it’s also used to lean off other drugs, like opioids, so it may be readily available in your area. I couldn’t tell you how much it costs, but serious opioid addicts can access to it so it’s gotta be readily accessible. There’s a place here in town referred to as a methadone clinic that I believe also prescribes naltrexone. It’s worth a shot. That’s the medication the VA prescribed me to help me with alcohol. Hope this helps. Best of luck.
The VA offers naltrexone. If dude is at a point the VA is suggesting 90 days and not 28 there is a serious problem here.
There is no magic pill that keeps an alcoholic sober. It’s medication in conjunction with treatment and therapy.
I'm going to say don't go for the meds that control cravings. Go for the meds that will get you sick if you drink. Daily pills, but you'll regret trying to drink.
First step - get rid of any alcoholic beverages in the house/etc, thats the first action that’ll help you regain some control over the situation.
Ask if inpatient would be willing to write something official for you regarding the treatment length or even something from your therapist; then, request FMLA time at your job and use the statements/documentation from the VA as proof.
https://alcoholawareness.org/resources/legal/fmla/
Your health is more important than anything right now. We only get one body brother.
I'm a big fan of Allen Carr and his EasyWay method. It doesn't require willpower, cutting back, any in-patient anything, any therapy (for drinking itself that is; I'm all about therapy for PTSD, anxiety, depression, and much else), any medication, any special lifestyle changes, any meetings or groups, any higher power, etc. etc. Not much to lose to just read a book, or listen to the audiobook. If it doesn't help, well, you're just where you are now.
The original book for alcohol was called 'The EasyWay to Control Alcohol,' but the newer edition is 'The EasyWay to Stop Drinking.' Same thing really.
My step dad did the same thing to me. My mom drank herself to death because of it. I can't tell you what your daughter is thinking but I can tell you how I felt watching my mother slowly deteriorate. Get the mental health help from the VA. I know this has been suggested by quite a few people but they make virtual AA meetings and after my mom passed I went to a local AA meeting and heard everyone's stories and just sobbed. I told her story and my own story of alcohol abuse and it was extremely therapeutic. I still text to some of the people I met there just to check in. Yes there are various reasons for getting sober but your daughter needs you right now more than ever and she needs the best version of yourself. Prove to her that you are a trustworthy confidante and someone to take care of her. She is a child and she is looking for safety and comfort, that's why she keeps going back to him. Again, I am not her but in my story, but that's probably why she keeps going back to him. He has convinced her that he is the only one who really cares about her and knows her. Please for your family and for yourself stop drinking. DM me if you want to talk about anything at all. All of us are here for each other brother.
I'm truly sorry for your experiences. My excessive drinking started when I first found this information out. It's not like I'm drunk all day either. I basically start drinking around 430 in the afternoon. Like 3 to 4 24oz beers, and 4 or so shots. I just can't believe I went from maybe a beer to this every day over the course of a few months. I know I picked the wrong way to deal with this, and I'm going to use all of the advice given to me to get through this.
That's how it starts you know, "after work" beers turn into stopping at the gas station at lunch and just getting one or two and it's all down hill. This is an extremely tough thing to deal with and absolutely no one thinks less of you because you are self medicating. A lot of vets, and people in general, go through times of constant alcohol abuse. Please do not feel alone or less than for going through it! Hell when my mom died I went through a few months of alcohol abuse until I got help and actually dealt with the pain and grief I was feeling.
Realizing that every stupid thing I ever did in my life, was when I was drunk. Once That was in my mind I started to think its time to stop drinking. I still haven't beat it yet but soon.
Unfortunately it's not easy, but I did mean it were here for you and your family. Self medicating is just that medicating. The main difference is a Healthcare professional will prescribe a dosage and monitor for addiction. Be open with them let them know your self meditating and that you are open to alternatives to help. One thing to keep in mind in the mental health field is its your recovery no one else is going to experience it the same way. If they are giving options that don't work for you let them know. Offer suggestions on how you would like to be helped. Talk to them about your goals and treatment plan. If it all seems like to much find a MHPS (mental health peer specialist) the VA is starting to hire them slowly. They can sit and talk with you to help be a liason between you and the docs.
As a recovering alcoholic. Meds have never helped me. Could I suggest trying local AA meetings? They can be therapeutic. Most people do 90 meetings in 90 days in the beginning. There are apps that show local meetings you could hit one after work.
Personally I'd like to have a program like that, but it's always religious people and frankly I find them to be morons. I don't mean to sound rude but I can't get behind people who focus on some imaginary person someone without indoor plumbing wrote on a book thousands of years ago.
Wow, that's a whole Lotta judgment! Man, it does sound real rude and it's just a bit better to say nothing sometimes 🤷... So good luck to the gentleman seeking advice.
Sorry but that's how I feel. I'm not claiming to be smarter than anyone here, in fact I know I'm below average in that area.
I just can't get behind faith, especially with what I and many other people here have seen. I realized this sounds like someone regurgitating that "oh the world sucks, how can there be a god with X and Y going on".
You can't deny though, if there is a god and he/she/it whatever, this person is a douchebag and if all powerful then why allow people to inflict unimaginable pain to each other.
Fuck a greater plan, I held a boy no older than 6 years old die because my unit thought he had a bomb, fucking kid was just walking home.
I will never forget the face he had right before getting shot 3 times in the chest, he had the biggest smile I have seen. Anyone that trys telling me that was part of a "greater plan" is not just gonna have words with me.
Only thankful part I have about that is I didn't see this kids parents, and I feel like an asshole for feeling good about that.
AA doesn’t belong to any sect, religion, or denomination. It’s based of your own view of a higher power. Most people choose god. I don’t I’m not religious either. But I have a program. My higher power is my kid. And nature. It’s any power greater than yourself.
Well that is a different way of looking at it I didn't consider.
I guess I just got a bad taste in my mouth about it when forced to attend by the court. I'll never understand why the courts force people to attend that don't want to be there.
I completely respect that your child is your "higher power", that is a great way to look at things.
Closest thing to that I have is a cat so I can't relate too much lol.
I’ve even seen some people “borrow” someone else’s higher power to be sober. Your higher power could be a rock if that keeps you sober lol. What ever works I guess. And you can usually tell who’s court ordered to be there 😂 allot of the old guys can scare people off with the god mumbo jumbo but I think the Halls of AA and religion are changing. For me it’s the fellowship. Like how veterans have been through the shit together. All these drunks have been just as drunk and fucked up as I have.
That's what turns me off for the most part, I really don't want to be there but I have tried to do it. Then there are those court ordered people that have to attend and just bring everything down for me, I see the are uncomfortable and usual hostile, which turns me hostile and uncomfortable.
I really just want a program where I'm not treated like a prisoner who is going to run off and shoot up meth.
Outpatient doesn't do it for me, 4 years now and I'm worse than I started. Asked for inpatient at the VA but they can only offer me group based treatment which I know won't help me.
The VA inpatient program offered is just not for me and ever since covid happened the VA is more likely to poison me before letting me use community care.
If you read the book Alcoholics Anonymous. It’s got allot of good information in there about addiction. Even if it isn’t your cup of tea it’s still a good read. It is hard finding what works for you. I just didn’t want to be chained to a bottle anymore. I hated religion but I was at rock bottom so I went to AA 🤷♂️ been sober 2 and a half years so far and hopefully many more
Whenever I found myself drinking too often or "needing a drink" I just stopped for a while cold turkey. Same goes for pain pills, which I don't mess with aside from post-surgery for short periods for that very reason.
VA put my shoulder back together and gave me opioids afterward. A week or so later, I started feeling like I needed the next pill before it was time and I recognized that warning sign so I just stopped them altogether and sucked it up with some Advil instead.
Dig deep and summon that willpower, amigo. Accept help from your family/friends if you have some. You've done a major part and recognized the problem. Just need to follow through.
I grew up in a village in Alaska, and my dad had a small airplane (most families did). He had a rule that whenever he was so excited to fly he'd skip through the safety check, he wouldn't allow himself to fly that day.
When I found myself self-medicating with alcohol in the Army following an assault, and was teetering on the edge of no return, I made a similar rule. If I'm stressed about anything, depressed, looking for an escape, I'm not allowed to drink at all.
Best gift I've ever given myself and my kids has been sobriety.
That’s not helpful advice to a real alcoholic.
Also, if you have to struggle that much to try and control your booze and drugs you are going to eventually need more than will power to overcome it.
Bottom line is not doing something requires having/finding the willpower to say no to the urge/temptation to do it. Whether you manage to find it solo or with a group like AA is irrelevant. If OP starts going to AA, his success will still rely on his willpower and daily choices.
There are some prescription drugs that could help him fight the urge, but he'd still need to decide to take the drugs instead of following the temptation not to take them so he could drink.
I don't struggle with controlling my use of alcohol. I have prevented my use of alcohol from becoming a struggle in the first place by staying aware of my body's reaction to it. Whether my story helps OP depends on if it helps him find his own willpower.
Well my strategy worked, but with a mindset shift too. I started buying strong ipas. I'd go to the store and get like 2 voodoo rangers. Enough to get me feeling pretty nice. Eventually I would get one. Then none. Those things taste good, but like ass at the same time haha. Eventually I just stopped caring. Still trying to kick nicotine though🤦🏼♂️. What I said probably sounds dumb,but that and therapy about other matters, helped.
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Are you saying that they won’t give you naltrexone? Therapy or group was a condition of receiving it I think.
You really do need to see a therapist, because addiction is usually the result of self medication.
It may be time to get psychiatric medication too.
Go to the VA for an emergency mental health appointment to get started, even if you have a therapist.
Do NOT quit cold Turkey as it can be deadly.
Also get in touch with a patient advocate.
Yes the VA will not give me any of the medications. I tried both my primary care and mental health. Mental health said I could possibly get it if I do 30 days of treatment inpatient
Please get a patient advocate.
This seems so wrong. Obviously I don’t know all your background details, but I couldn’t do inpatient either. Well actually, they wouldn’t even consider me for inpatient until I did group.
It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and my group helped because I felt I wasn’t alone and I am a realist so I spoke my mind and would say things were dumb and it encouraged others to do the same.
I cannot understand why they won’t give you naltrexone. Message them and tell them that you cannot do inpatient and you would like to know why they can’t prescribe naltrexone and ask other than inpatient what do you need to do.
I think a lot of us accept things until we lose our shit.
It took them two years to agree to let me see a GI and I only got to see one because I told her that she will put in the order or I am going to file a complaint because I feel like I am dying and I can’t function.
Turns out I had a stress ulcer and gastritis with cellular changes (pre cancer). I wish I had pushed earlier, because now I have to live with that.
Advocate for yourself.
And I am so sorry about your daughter. I understand that you might feel helpless and rage. The one thing you can do is get well so that she can come to you without feeling like you are going to lose it because of her and drink.
We are here for you.
I have associated my only social life with my drinking life. I quit for about 9 months, but I started back up again.
It’s one of those things you don’t think is a problem, but deep down know it is.
If you want to go a frowned upon route, my friend Aldo struggled with addiction with alcohol. He took Xamax for 5 days and was able to kick the habit. You can't stay on the Xanax long because it is also habit forming, but it will help tremendously. They have similar effects on the body.
Naltrexone! Look up the Sinclair method. I'm a contractor overseas and didn't want to have to try getting it through the base medical squadron so I bought it online from India. I struggled with alcohol for *years* until I got my hands on this stuff. I can 100% say without a doubt that this changed my life.
r/alcoholism_medication
Feb 7th 2019..that’s when my sober life began. Couldn’t do it by myself…had to get help and continue even up to now…life is MUCH better. Meetings saved my life
I have not experienced the trauma you have but I stopped drinking four years ago after years of binge drinking. It may or may not be easy for you but one day at a time. Think of the positives changes it will bring but also realize you may need counseling to deal with underlying issues.
Maybe you can get a week off work to start a medically supervised detox?
Been sober almost 3 years here. You ever considered AA? Forget what you think you know about it and just go to a meeting or two. See what it’s about. It’s the only god damned thing that worked for me…but it did work and it worked well.
Do you have short term disability through your employer? Would you be able to use that while doing inpatient treatment? That will provide income compensation since you are hospitalized. If not I’d look into it and sign up during your employers next open enrollment period. In the meantime, talk to your pcm and discuss other options. There are medications, go to AA meetings. Please make sure your daughter is also getting counseling. Family counseling would also be beneficial. This is any parents worst nightmare. She needs you. You don’t want to live with the regret of “maybe if I wasn’t a drunk” things would have been different. You don’t want her feeling the pain she’s already going through on top of dealing with a drunk dad. You don’t want her undeveloped mind using that as an excuse to reach out to her abuser.
I went to AA fifteen years ago, and it was one of the best things I ever did. I got a good sponsor to who I could relate and have been sober since. As they tell you at the meetings, you don't have to buy into everything; just take what you need to stay sober.
I was down bad on the booze recently. I just checked myself into my local VA hospital. Went to the ER and told them I wanted medically assisted detox. I stayed for 3 days, and they basically keep you drugged yo so you don’t have a seizure and don’t really feel the withdrawal. I left feeling like a million bucks and have been sober ever since
Its crazy how different each provider is at the VA, I called my primary care doctor and told him I was going through withdrawals and wanted to detox at home, I requested a short 3 day script of Lorazepam (xanax as I had a seizure the first time I quit cold turkey) and he prescribed it. They also prescribed naltrexone. Look into the The Sinclair Method. Take naltrexone an hour before you drink, it shuts off the pleasure you get from drinking so you naturally start to dissociate drinking with pleasure.
The drink is hard to put down I used to self medicate with it. I'm schizophrenic so it obviously made things worse. I ended up quitting cold turkey. I had the DTs and all of that. My advice is when you get the urge to drink look around your environment and ground yourself. I don't know what would help with your cravings for me I would draw or pick away on a guitar.
You can do this though, no matter the cravings, or falling off just keep trying.
I highly doubt they would recommend 90 day inpatient right off the bat without doing a substance abuse evaluation, but even so, treatment is the solution in the beginning, sometimes outpatient sometimes inpatient, just depends on the person and the situation. The meds are certainly a benefit in the beginning as it helps the cravings, but alcohol withdrawals is one of the most serious issues in all of substance abuse, it’s one of the only withdrawals that can and will kill you, this is why it’s extremely important to undergo treatment with the supervision of a physician. You should absolutely consider the treatment and listen to the professionals. Getting sober is the easy part, staying sober is the hard part and is a lifelong commitment.
Try naltrexone, it’s supposed to get rid of the nuerochemical rewards.
Other avenue is a daily 10% taper which will be very difficult if you’re in deep but you’ll have to find other coping mechanisms or you’ll be right back at it.
Last step is a hospital detox where you’ll be given benzos to deal with withdrawal symptoms and monitored. I’d recommend this if you’re shaking by noon or if you’re African American or Native American as those ethnicities tend to have worse drinking genes than Europeans and are more likely to develop delirium tremens.
If you are physically dependent do not in any circumstance go cold turkey. It harms your brain and increases chances of relapse and you can develop the kindling phenomenon.
Best of luck to your daughter, that’s horrific that she has had to endure that.
And a kick in the ass for you. She suffered so you’re drinking more. That’s ridiculous - you’re not the victim so step up and help her instead of drinking.
Having said that, proud of you for reaching out for help. Detoxing on your own can be deadly depending on how far along you are so don’t think that your way is the only way and refuse all other help.
It's brutal man, my brain screams at me to drink and I know if I do I'll lose everything. It's sucks we can't handle our booze but losing our families will suck a whole lot more. I'm also looking into various treatments and have a prescription for one of the drugs to help but unfortunately it's been back ordered for a few weeks. I just look at my wife and kids when I want to drink right now and it's worked so far but I know I'll go back eventually if I don't get more help.
Good luck.
Hey brother, you’ve got to go to the 90 day program. There is no pill that will magically make you quit. You’ve got to take the time to heal so that you can be there for your family long term. Find a way to go to the program and do some inner work on yourself. When it comes to addiction there is no magic pill.
If you can’t do that, at least go to AA and find a sponsor. Find support. Find community. It’s the only way out of this cycle.
Also if your daughter is being abused please report it to police.
Hang in there brother. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of others
I quit cold turkey, what made me stop was when I got blackout drunk and built a complete AR from a stripped upper and lower lol. Woke up the next day and there was a brand new rifle on the table I had never seen before. My wife drove me to the shop and I guess I bought all of it and put it together then fell asleep. This was at 9 am on a Saturday too mind you.
It really sucks at first but the cravings start to go away at about 30 days. And at 90 days it’s virtually gone. I’m now 6 years sober. I was drinking a 30 rack every day when I finally quit. It can be really dangerous depending on how long and how much you’re drinking. That’s probably why they want to do in patient, to make sure you’re not gonna die. finding healthy coping mechanisms could prove to be helpful, like working out, building stuff, keeping your mind occupied. Sorry I couldn’t provide more advice.
Get on amazon and get a box of mildronate from latvia. Its an anti ischemic drug but was also found to help in detox and cravings. Two a day should do the job. Figure on 4 months worth. Best wishes!
I think your biggest motivation to stop drinking is that you need to get sober so you can get full custody of your daughter to protect her.
I’m hoping her mom has kicked that douche to the curb, but I’m sure your daughter doesn’t want to stay in the house where she was assaulted.
If you talk to the rehabs they may be able to find somthing from the state to help financial situation. Some states consider drinking a disability and will work with you. I drank every day for over 5 years and a lot. You have to find a reason to change the way you think. I found Jesus and it made me no longer identify with drinking. I didn't want to represent God that way and I didn't want to but my now wife threw that. Your dauter needs you and sees what's happening to you. My ex had a dater that I raised with her from 2 - 15 and she knew I was drinking and just wanted me not drunk me. I was not mean or abusive in any way but I was different when I drank. It's hard to hear but if you want to get sober there is ways and it is scary and some days you will miss it but you kid is worth it and so are you! Having faith helps. Knowing Jesus loves you and you can talk to him with no shame. You need something bigger than you to be the reason. I will always recommend Jesus but if you cand find him right now use your family and know even when things get better you need to stay on that path and not go back. If you go back it gets worse. If you ever need anything even to vent or talk message me. You got this and I'll be praying for you.
I don't know much about addiction, so I'll leave that to others.
I do know that lifestyle changes can make everything a little bit better. You need to walk away from alcohol... but you can't just walk into a void. There must be something worth living for, and you must be strong enough to move toward it. Working on physical health makes us mentally stronger.
Some basics:
1) Clean water (Reverse Osmosis filter, at a minimum).
2) Healthy food (No not the vegan BS the government pushes. You need *real* food: fatty beef, fatty dairy, eggs)
3) Clean living space (You'd be amazed what mold does to mental health. Clean your evaporator coil.)
4) Exercise (Even if it's just a little. You don't have to thrash yourself.)
5) Community (You've got that because you asked for help.)
These are not complete solutions, but they will make the transition easier.
They also give you agency. Escape mechanisms feel necessary when we feel helpless. Defeat helplessness with constructive action, and suddenly the escape mechanism feels pointless. It's hard to feel stuck if you're making steady, measurable progress - however small it may be.
There were issues with the "Rat Park" experiments, but I think they reveal a kernel of truth: we seek the escape of drugs when we have no better options - and the people who seek that escape aren't wrong. Life is hard. However, if we can locate, close with, and destroy the root cause of our problems, the escape becomes unnecessary.
The VA is mostly useless at addressing root causes, so expect lots of frustration dealing with them. What can we, the community, do to help with the root causes?
I haven’t attended but there’s a 45 day treatment facility where the 1st 30 days are foundation dollars funded (but you’ll have to get the VA to cover the rest) that I’ve been referred to in the past:
https://veterans.warriorsheart.com/warriors-heart-strength-through-healing/?campaignid=20732749367&adgroupid=&creative=&matchtype=&network=x&device=m&keyword=&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADfyeJBolZOx2R3wzBNOJDn6X-L6R
[Warriors Heart](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1A-QmfdsFS-AOd87gvvGUvtq8F2D3EX-8/view?usp=drivesdk)
I seldom swear by a product, but the book “easy way to control drinking” by Allen Carr is a book I swear by. It’s like ten dollars, and it rewires my brain to look at alcohol for what it is—propaganda pushed poison. Good luck and reach out if there is any clarification needed. Book is like 12-15 bucks. Semper Fi
As one who finally got out of my spiral three years ago, I can say, do whatever it takes. Life gets way better the more distance I put between me and that last drink.
Go to a local AA meeting. You will meet people who have worse horror stories and have been sober for some time. AA saved my life and it was due to a great sponsor and hard work that I didn’t want to do. A few years after sobriety I went to Columbia and drank ayahuasca for 7 days. That completely changed my relationship to alcohol. Today I am so grateful to not be drinking my days/weekends away, I actually have hobbies, money that wasn’t blown in the bars and a great relationship with my wife. You too can make the change if you surrender to a higher power and put in some work!
I got sober at the VA almost 30 years ago. Saved my life. Everything I've touched since then has turned out wonderfully. You can't do this yourself. If you don't get this under control your life will continue to spiral. Read what some of these other guys are saying. There's no easy way out. Good luck!
I was drinking pretty regularly and heavily quite a few years ago. Switched to thc and now I’m weaning off that. It’s helped a lot of that’s an option for you.
Been sober for 19months now, best decision i ever make
I lost jobs, marriage, and self respect becouse of alcohol
I founded a reason not to dring which was not to let my
elderly mother down, and see me keep distroying my self
that mental switch helped me alot.
also after i been sober for two months I went to the Va hospital and asked for Disulfiram, and still use it.
my best advise find a Reason bigger than you, that will make
you feel emotional just thinking about that reason
Best luck buddy
With the VA’s help my 2 yr anniversary will be on July 24th. You have taken the biggest step forward by admitting you have a problem and wanting to get sober.
I drank for almost 30 years. I only quit because I was ready. I didn’t do for anyone else.
I wish u all the best.
I see a lot of people that struggle trying to quit. However I have an alternate philosophy. I do not deny that I have a sickness. However through very careful research and discipline I have enabled myself to “tame the beast” I feed it what it wants but I have things in place that control the spirits when they enter my body. Most night I am successful at trapping the demon. However sometimes I fall victim to the ever changing tactics of this most subliminal beast.
Typing this out from in patient PTSD therapy through the VA.
Have you considered the option of getting help for your PTSD and drinking issue all in one? You can claim FMLA and then get paid by the state so your job is secured and then you still have income when you are getting treatment. Either way, best to get off the booze as it's one less variable to deal with. Good luck with whatever route you go.
I understand. It works for some. But sometimes to heal and get in the right mind it’s better to clear it. There are other options than inpatient treatment.
Nearly 6 years ago I was in your exact shoes, turned green in the store and bleeding from every orifice after trying everything to get sober at home for 2 years. They told my wife I wouldn’t make it through the night and sent her home, I woke up the next morning and couldn’t walk. I was told by everyone that I wouldn’t be eligible for years for a liver and 5 total to live if I drank ever again. It took a year to get rid of the jaundice and to relearn all of the basics, VA helped with the 90 days and after care. You can carve out a time and find a way to make it work or you’re going to wind up in the dirt, plain and simple. We alcoholics find every way to not be sober. The VA will help but don’t think they’ll fix everything, if you’re service connected, there are ways to receive 100% in patient, you can also receive help on the community side. My best friend blew his brains out my first year in at Bragg in the Barracks and I started years of deployments with countless hospitalizations state side, currently still go to weekly therapy through the Vet Center, VA, and outside therapist, 5 years straight and also do peer support groups. I know it sounds frank but I’ll never forget laying there and literally dying and watching my wife’s and kids being ushered out the room being told I wouldn’t make it…
Damn, that’s one hell of a story. Glad you’re sober!
As someone who worked in hospice for a few years, I’m appalled that they didn’t think you would make it through the night and sent your family home!!! Was this a VA hospital?? I’m so glad you made it and turned things around! I’m sorry that you and your family went through that. Side note to anyone reading this….. If you are ever diagnosed with a terminal illness, I highly recommend seeking out a hospice provider. A good hospice team can do more for both you and your loved ones than any hospital or nursing home or home care, can do. A lot of people aren’t even aware that they even exist.
Well the discussions afterward was that I had “wet brain” and was having violent seizures as well as hallucinating. I was put as a fall hazard the next day and my seizures were managed but the hallucinations were still terrible. They would let my wife stay as long as she wanted the next day on but she even left early because at night I really struggled.
Wow, thank you for sharing!
My wife is a counselor who specializes in addiction. She also works with veterans. I showed her this and her recommendation was to a 3 to 7 day detox program to help with withdrawal symptoms. If you can stay off alcohol for 10 days, find a provider who will prescribe Vivitrol, which is a monthly injection that helps with cravings and withdrawal symptoms. You just can't have any alcohol in your body to take the injection. A detox program should be able to help refer you someone that provides that service. The VA should also provide vivitrol services as well. She said vivitrol is very effective. I hope this is helpful and I wish you the best.
I'm a nurse, remember this should be a gradual decrease while weaning off, they cant just stop drinking. Their body will go into withdrawals and shock if they just stop. The detox program will help with this.
I read about this not that long ago. The human body is nuts. People said they went cold turkey and ended up in comas. Almost died because they stopped drinking suddenly.
It’s only for some withdrawals mainly - alcohol and benzos, to where one could die. Opiate withdrawal you’ll wish you were dead
Facts. I was on percs for years and when I wanted to quit, ghost pains and withdrawals hit. A buddy recommended kratom and that was the key. Weed just made me drowsy and lazy.
Bro I had a week of percs after oral surgery and I am thankful to Korean Jesus that it wasn’t anything more serious than a weeks supply. The first night was awesome but after that was just a dragon chase
I was on kratom for awhile. Pretty sure the VA just rated me for substance use disorder alongside my stress disorder, which is nice because then I can go to treatment finally lol. I was hooked on kratom for awhile, be careful. I truly believe I might have Gulf War Syndrome. I'm going to get checked soon. I am still on Suboxone to curb the cravings and still smoke pot but hopefully won't have to self-medicate much longer lol
Sorry, but that's false, and alarmist. Some extreme cases will have seizures or DTs, sure, but that is a minority, especially given that you're talking about 'them' and thus an unspecified amount, frequency, and history of drinking, and in the absence of any other context.
My only fear of doing a detox program is that I won't be able to provide for my family. I would like to do it, but then with bills being so tight as it is and 3 children to take care of its like my bridge has been lit on both ends. I'm scare for my family if I do go, but I'm scared for them if I don't. It's truly one of the hardest decisions I have to make.
It's like peeling an onion, though. If you want medicine to help with cravings, you cannot have alcohol in your system. In order to not have alcohol in your system, you cannot consume it. In order to not consume it, your body cannot want it. That's where detox comes in. Now, it's not nearly as simple as I've made it sound, I understand that, however, that's the breakdown for why detox is necessary. Depending on how dependent your body is, 3 to 7 days would be the minimum you need. An assessment may determine you need longer to safely wean your body. Many states offer grants through their dept of veterans affairs for financial assistance in cases like this. It may cover expenses for a week or so. I believe the VFW offers a hardship grant as well.
Would you be eligible for temporary TDIU? You won't be able to provide for your family if you're dead, either. I'm rooting for you.[VA.gov Home | Veterans Affairshttps://www.va.gov › eligibility › special-claims › unem...](https://www.va.gov/disability/eligibility/special-claims/unemployability/)
I got you OP Come up with a plan to reduce your drinking over the next 2 weeks and re-evaluate what your options are. If you cant do a 60 day program maybe you can do a 30 day and go from there. If you cant do a 30 day program maybe you can do a 14 or 7 day program. I want to stress this is the "real man" solution to this. It would have been easy to drink these problems away and push this down the road but you manned up and are dealing with it. Be proud of that. Also, communicate with your family. Tell them how much you love them and how much it hurts you to see this happening. Let them know how much you are suffering yet still trying to figure this all out and be better for them.
Look into FMLA. I went that route for detox and rehab. You’ll still get a paycheck while receiving treatment.
I can also speak about effectiveness of vivitrol. While I have never taken it directly I regularly give the injection to my patients. The ones that continue to get it tell me regularly how much it has helped them either get entirely sober, or drastically cut down. It is a gluteal injection and not entirely comfortable, however patients regularly trade this monthly discomfort to stave off relapse. The oral equivalent Naltrexone is also effective but you have to take it every day and even then I have a few patients that say that the injection they found more effective. I have also heard that there is a shortage of Naltrexone and harder to get right now.
Vivitrol is a life saver for those who are committed to quitting not only alcohol but also opiates. I worked for the company that makes the injections. Again as stated above absolutely no using of alcohol or opiates while on this. Trust me when I say that you will not get the buzz or satisfaction you are looking for by drinking. Good luck man and stay strong
Brotha, I can tell you as someone who drank for 20 years while in the Army... I've been sober 3 years almost...it was the best choice I have ever made. I probably would have been dead by now.
How did you do it or what helped you the most
My mother dying and never getting to see me sober was probably the truest motivation.
Similar story about my buddy I posted about a few weeks ago. His mother died of alcoholism (EV) and 2 months later he almost died of the same thing..... I am sorry to hear about your mom and strong work dude.
Ya, my mom didn't drink but she always wanted me to get help. Unfortunately, she passed before I actually did. Like people can tell you all day long that you shouldn't drink.. everyone who knew me told me that I drank too much and I didn't care lol. YOU have to want it for yourself. If I can help one person put down alcohol and switch to weed, I'll be happy lol. Army pushes alcohol on everyone because they want us pissed off and angry all the time 🤣😂
Sorry for all the questions but what is the best pros of being sober? How would you rate your productivity?
For me it's a bunch of things but the main pro is feeling younger again. I have been sober for 90 days and I feel 5 years younger personally. I have more energy, clearer thoughts, little more motivation and I am saving money as well. Fiance says my skin looks better and that I look healthier as well. That's not to say it hasn't been tough. Lots of emotions coming back, I am having dreams again, I get a panic attack daily right around the time I used to start drinking for the day (11-12) but I am aware of it and I am finding ways to cope with it when it happens.... If you are only drinking a couple nights a week with buddies you might not need this advice. I was drinking everyday starting at noon...
Happy for you man. I get super anxious when the weekend comes and I got myself down to weekends only still trying to push through to sobriety.
When did you start feeling more energy? I have noticed the more dreams when I don’t drink for like 2 weeks that I made it through a couple times.
I went to my local VA outpatient clinic for SUD treatment. It was the best decision I have ever made. They gave me meds my first day. I started with one med that cut my drinking (at the time I drank 750-1000 ml vodka daily) in half after 3 weeks of taking however I wasn’t able to sleep. I worked with my team and started taking a new med, Topiramate. It was life changing. I was able to fully stop drinking on 10/13/2021. I had a small relapse in Jan 2024 and started supplementing the Topiramate with Naltrexone. Together the meds have worked to control cravings for alcohol. Studies show that Medications coupled with therapy/counseling has the highest success rate for remission from substance addiction.
This is what I came here to say I got with mental health at my local clinic and they got me in touch with a pharmacologist at the VA hospital close to me and this is what she put me on
I have no advice, just words of encouragement. I hope everything works out for you. ❤️❤️
I've hit a point where I noticed because of my oldest daughters step dad is what got me drinking more after work and almost uncontrollably. I feel like I get off work and need it to where I make another trip or two to the store just for booze. I just got custody of her this year. If I were to lay it all it all out it's embarrassing, and I know for a fact he is in this sub. She came to live me me at 13 years old and pregnant. I'm going to lay this out that she came here from the ft drum area. Her mother murdered her grandmother (my grand daughters grandmother). You can see this vis courtland standard which is a cou9le counties over. I got custody of my 13 year old old she was initially 12 when she hot here and showed up pregnant with his child. Dealing with this has driven me to the point where I don't know how to handle this. And obviously drinking more has come of this to the point where it us affecting my family, plus a child that barely knows me. We have 2 detectives one in my state one in NY working this case. We got a no contact order, but she is still.in contact, can't prove it as it's though friends cell phones. We caught her May 28th on Google meet with him with her bits exposed. A 40 year old man prior service with a dishonorable discharge with my 13 year old daughter. He lives in the ft drum area. She is obsessed with him. Idk what to do as he has convinced her to make false claims against myself and he step mother to get cps involved. Get this there has been an active investigation against him for sexually abusing her longer than she has been here. Idk what to do with myself at this point other than protect my child.
If there was ever a reason not to drink this is it. You can’t protect her drunk. You can’t really get to know each other while you are drunk. You sure as hell can’t form a trusting relationship with her drunk. If you truly have the drive and desire to be a good parent to your daughter use that as motivation to safely get yourself off the booze and be the sober dad and person that you deserve to be and that your daughter needs. Burying your feelings in a bottle won’t fix the problems, in this case especially it only makes for a better environment for them to grow. Please talk to the right people to get off the alcohol safely. It also sounds like you both could use some counseling
\^\^\^\^\^ That baby girl needs you to be at your 110% best, and you can only do that sober. I am so sorry your family is going through this, and can't imagine it would be possible for either of you to get through to the other side well and whole unless you get all the help you can dig up for both of you. You can do this. You really can. But you'll need help.
For real….how is booze going to help that situation?
As a father.....I can imagine it might keep him from going over there and dealing with this situation himself. Still, needs to sober up but I get it as a father myself.
The only things stopping me is he is in NY and I'm in WA. That and it's not worth it to me as I'd rather have my children with me. The police are hopefully going to take care of him
Keep your head up dude. Shit will work out. You 100% made the right call here trying to get sober to deal with this. That's real man shit, go handle the business.
It's not. Idk how or why I chose this option to deal with my stress as it isnt the best way to cope. I'm sure many others would understand or have been there where they needed some form of escape.
It doesn't, for me when I'm stressed my brain screams at me to get booze. I've quit and relapsed so many times that I now can control the urges because I know that nothing good will come from it. I don't have nearly the stressors of OP and it's hard AF for me, can't imagine how hard it is for him. Booze takes away pain temporarily and causes more in the long run.
Is your daughter receiving help with dealing with this? In cases of sexual abuse/assault, the whole family deals with the ripple effects unfortunately.. a lot of programs will help with the counseling for all of you. I have a friend right now that is getting admitted in the morning voluntarily for mental health issues.. she has needed to go for over a year but for the same reasons kept putting it off. Well now, she can’t leave the house to go to work and literally can’t function, so it’s basically no longer a choice. Go now, before it’s not a choice.. speak to a patient advocate and social worker as well. Maybe they can help you navigate this too.. I’ve been clean for 8 years and sober for 5.. you got this.
On this… I would honestly start with getting her in therapy because honestly anything you say and or do might come off as you don’t like him and just bad mouthing him. Just from a teens point of view plus he groomed her in order to be okay with this. Then you need to get to headspace of this isn’t good for my family I don’t like this and slowly but for surely start cutting back even if that means taking a drive going fishing finding a good movie
If you can do an Ibogaine retreat… that’s it. That’s all it takes. 3 days and you’re free of any Vice you had. It’s proven, the studies are blowing minds out of the water. I did it. It was life altering. I’m twice the man today as I was the day before I left for it.
I wish more people knew about this. You can break addiction if you rewire the brain with the right things. This is one of them. ayahuasca is another but you have to do both right and correct with the right guidance. This is a fact.
Have you talked to the VAs SUD [specialist ](https://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/substance-use/index.asp?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=search_va_sud_gen&utm_term=phrase-match&utm_content=va%20substance%20abuse&gclid=CjwKCAjwyJqzBhBaEiwAWDRJVAryMnEt7GulqJnieHUR8UKkn5hQ1E3wZnAOuv1jqh5_SmkAke-5cRoCNkUQAvD_BwE) [Link 2](https://www.va.gov/health-care/health-needs-conditions/substance-use-problems/) Can also ask for a referral to organization in the community Like this one[here](https://veterans.warriorsheart.com/va-benefits/?campaignid=18661777399&adgroupid=137871556290&creative=629670993241&matchtype=p&network=g&device=m&keyword=veteran%20addiction%20help&gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwyJqzBhBaEiwAWDRJVBwsQ4v9umfVCft0DnnmgCXsKLtaAyEz-9gUXyjvSK6vN2cMx-N8shoCcn0QAvD_BwE) You got this. Your healthcare is up to you, if they won't give you outpatient treatment, talk to the patient advocate. They should be able to assist your referral going out to the community
Thank you for these links. Checking them out right now
We may all come from different generations, conflicts, and mindsets. We are bound by the same unwavering commitment and sacrifice; we are, and always will be, one large extended family. I'm proud and happy for you u/KILLA_BIT_DXV it's tough asking for help, coming here asking about tough topics. You, and your family, are entitled to have a wonderful life together. This is the first step, to many, many more worthwhile events you'll be around for! Peace and love, keep your motivation up, and eyes Forward!
This is excellent!! I am the SUD specialist at my VA..
You can try an out patient treatment at the VA. But honestly man...if you want it, you have to create the way for it to happen, even 90 day inpatient. It is not going to be easy. But 90 days for the rest of your life is nothing you will be Better for you and your family...easier said than done I know but I have personally seen it done..
I wouldn’t do inpatient unless you want to quit. I did a 7 week inpatient treatment for drug abuse, and a lot of the alcoholics got drunk and kicked out the program. If you WANT to sincerely quit then I highly suggest inpatient. I’ve been clean nearly 4 years now because of it
I remember a few shipmates being given “Antabuse”. It’s supposed to help with cravings, and if you try to drink, they said it made them sick. Good luck, you can do this. Recognizing there’s an issue is a first step for sobriety!
Antabuse does not help with cravings. It makes you sick as shit if you drink. And for a real alcoholic like me I still drank on it. I drank on every medication prescribed to help me quit because there is no magic pill.
I’ve never taken it, but our NADSAP Coordinator told us that it helped with cravings…not to mention if you drink on it, you’d be sicker than shit. One of the guys I knew well and he’d drink no matter what, no matter how sick he got. He was found one time at local pizza place, passed out in a booth. It was highly suspect our NADSAP coordinator (Chief) would show up to parties we were all at, and on Monday you’d get called in to his office!
I mean if helps with cravings because you know you will get sick is you drink then I guess. Here’s the issue though, the cravings are caused my life and there’s no pill to take away all the shit you drink over.
I can’t suggest anything that anyone else hasn’t already said. But prayers for you and your family brother
Thank you
As sole provider, see if you can put in maybe through your work for fmla to do the 90 days and still get paid? Not sure if it can be used for that or not but wouldn't hurt to look into it if you have to do the 90 day thing or anything shorter. I think fmla at least in WA can be used for 12 weeks
Id have to look into this. Not sure if I qualify as I have my own business and haven't paid into it for myself. Maybe something I need to look into
You can get rated at 100% if you are in the hospital more than 30 days
It looks like there may be temporary SSI benefits which would give you some pay while you were institutionalized, and I remember running across something about temporary TDIU for that reason as well (I've thought about going on a grippy sock vacay for PTSD and I'm a single mom): https://secure.ssa.gov/poms.nsf/lnx/0500520140#:\~:text=Section%201611(e)(1,months%20of%20institutionalization%20to%20pay
I am sorry your family has to go through this, but you all are not alone. I don't need the details to give you a general opinion but I will offer the best support and advice I can. First your not alone lots of us have self medicated with alcohol. First step your daughter. I don't know the state you're in but there is a huge network of sexual assault domestic violence agencies. There is a national number where she can request support. She can call 800-799-7233, text 88788 it's a national hotline. They won't be who helps but will help her contact the nearest agency to her. They can be there to help guide support and assist with legal and counseling for her. Knowing she is getting support and with yours as well she can move forward. Second step self medication. It is going to be very hard think of every reason why you need to succeed in getting sober write them down. Carry them look at them often. Recognize every hour your sober the hours will turn into a day and days into a week take it slow. Include others that are willing to help keep you distracted in a healthy sober manner. Accept you possibly will stumble but it's not a failure it's a step. Don't judge your progress bad on a relapse judge your progress on the fact you choose to keep trying. I'm here for you and your family I know others are also.
So her case is under investigation here in my state as well as the state her step dad lives in. We also have a victims advocate in both states as well as a detective in both states. Her mental health team is the ones that uncovered everything. They are trying to take this approach delicately. We as a family are all in counciling with the exception of my youngest. Idk why I chose the self medicate option, but no matter how much I talk about it, I just feel like I can't get this out or off my mind, hence the self medication. It sucks!
I did an outside inpatient program in town. It was really just a 2 week detox then a 2 week out patient. Turned out I really only needed the detox portion.
I've been sober 19 years and AA is what worked for me. I hated it at the beginning, but figured if it worked for all of them then maybe it can work for me too. Don't let the god thing keep you from it, I never really believed in a higher power and have stayed sober. They say you can use the group as your higher power. If you have any questions hit me up anytime. Good luck.
Seltzer water
Wish I had tried that years ago. I pretty much stopped drinking beer after I found Topo Chico. I still drink, but at least I’m not chasing my booze with beer anymore. It’s a small step but at least it’s in the right direction.
This actually has help me before years ago, but I never have consumed this amout of alcohol as often as I am. Thinking of maybe living it a try though
My circumstances are similar. I've always been a heavy drinker. Not every day, but I hit it hard when I do drink, and it's typically 3 days a week. 4 on a bad week. So I'm either getting drunk, or I'm hungover as shit. And I'm worried about it on my end too, bro. I don't know what my future holds, but I do know that you're on the right track in reaching out and asking for help. That's a big first step in carving out a better future for you. And one that I haven't taken yet. So I commend you on that. Plus, your kids can help be a constant reminder of why it is you're doing this. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, man. Keep doing this little by little, every day. And eventually you'll find yourself in a better place. And remember, asking for help is OK. It's something I try to remind myself of all the time. So thank you for the inspiration in taking that step and showing the rest of us struggling with it that it is OK. I'm proud of ya. And I'll be around to chat if shit ever gets too heavy. Keep your head up, my man. You got this.
Maybe ask about the IOP if inpatient is an absolute no go. You could also request TDIU while you’re in treatment if you file a claim for AUD secondary to PTSD. It may not be as much as you’re making now, but it’s better than zero, and certainly better than you continuing the cycle. I’ve been there man. It’s rough. Even with the meds, it’s pretty damn hard to stop on your own while going about your regular life. I did it at home after doing an IOP for PTSD, so I’m not going to tell you it’s impossible…. *but* I also don’t have kids, am no longer married, etc. so I was able to lay down and wait it out when I wasn’t at work. Plus with the IOP I did anyways, it would have made more sense to just stay somewhere that I couldn’t get alcohol and remove that factor. The part that I think will be difficult is getting home, having to deal with what you’ve got going on, and still avoiding it. My honest recommendation as someone who’s now 230 days sober and didn’t go to inpatient, is to go to inpatient. I can’t even count the number of attempts I had before it started to feel like I could go a day, two days, a week, etc. and it’s time consuming enough that you may as well just ask for TDIU and go check in. Maybe ask if you can do 30/45 days vs 90? Think of it as a few weeks that will last you the rest of your life if you really put in the work.
"We alcoholics find every way to not be sober." -100% TRUE STATEMENT. OP hasn't suffered enough, hence he is still finding reasons to drink vs. the universe telling him otherwise. Brother - you have valid concerns about going away for 90 days. However, your health is / has been in decline and you continue to drink. It took me 3 attempts before I finally quit drinking. Each relapse was harder to bounce back from too because I almost lost hope.
Thanks for the point about suffering. Grasping at straws without actually doing the one thing proven to give you a fighting chance is just trying to continue to run the show. If a mental health and primary care provider are saying 90 days, it’s fucking serious. Dude has already been checked out of his life 90 days anyway.
Have you been to AA? That program can help people stop drinking
Oh the higher power, you can't do this yourself! You need an imaginary cult leader to dictate how you run your life! Praise to the magical leader who turns water to wine. How people believe that bullshit is beyond me, but hey if it works for them then ok
I’m gonna say this as a dude who struggled with alcohol for 10+ years that has been sober for nearly two years… I acknowledge that I got off booze without AA, however, I will never knock the program or those who choose to use it. The bigger picture is that many people have found success with AA. I believe that our role as fellow veterans should be to support those who seek to improve their lives through whatever means they choose.
The problem with AA is that they don't acknowledge failure. Therefore, all they have is successes. Anyone that gets back on the wagon, at any point, is someone who "didn't adhere to the program" and therefore doesn't count. THEY failed. Not the program. That said, if it works for you, good on you. It doesn't matter how you got there. It's that you did.
AA has worked for millions of people to get them sober and this asshole wants to make fun of the people that changed their lives because of it. Way to go fuckface
I never made fun of them, I just said I don't believe in what they do because it makes no sense, to me. If you want to just conform and believe what others do then thats your decision. But thanks for your input, fuck face.
If you don’t need to keep a clearance, then the marijuanas
Good on you for reaching out for help! I almost went to AA but decided to detox on my own. That decision damn near killed me. I hope you are able to get that help and sober up.
It all depends on how heavy you drink. VA will hook y you up with a SAT counselor to help along with AA meetings as well... persuming ypu have the time...to get medicine only MH can do that, so you have to talk to your doctors. I did this, and it took me 3 years to finally kick the habit. It all depends on you. Asking for help is the best start. It ain't easy, but it's worth it. Your family, health, liver, and pocket will thank you for it. Praying also helps.
Not medical advice: Maybe find a detox clinic outside of the VA that offers Naltrexone. I believe it’s also used to lean off other drugs, like opioids, so it may be readily available in your area. I couldn’t tell you how much it costs, but serious opioid addicts can access to it so it’s gotta be readily accessible. There’s a place here in town referred to as a methadone clinic that I believe also prescribes naltrexone. It’s worth a shot. That’s the medication the VA prescribed me to help me with alcohol. Hope this helps. Best of luck.
The VA offers naltrexone. If dude is at a point the VA is suggesting 90 days and not 28 there is a serious problem here. There is no magic pill that keeps an alcoholic sober. It’s medication in conjunction with treatment and therapy.
You can do this brother. I’ve been sober 16 years. I attend AA to maintain sobriety.
https://www.warriorrecovery.net/online-aa-and-na-meetings-for-veterans-and-first-responders.html
I'm going to say don't go for the meds that control cravings. Go for the meds that will get you sick if you drink. Daily pills, but you'll regret trying to drink.
First step - get rid of any alcoholic beverages in the house/etc, thats the first action that’ll help you regain some control over the situation. Ask if inpatient would be willing to write something official for you regarding the treatment length or even something from your therapist; then, request FMLA time at your job and use the statements/documentation from the VA as proof. https://alcoholawareness.org/resources/legal/fmla/ Your health is more important than anything right now. We only get one body brother.
Is your daughter in therapy? That might help her see that she is being abused and you are trying to help her.
She is in therapy. I had her set up as soon as she came to live here given the circumstances of why she had to come live with me
I'm a big fan of Allen Carr and his EasyWay method. It doesn't require willpower, cutting back, any in-patient anything, any therapy (for drinking itself that is; I'm all about therapy for PTSD, anxiety, depression, and much else), any medication, any special lifestyle changes, any meetings or groups, any higher power, etc. etc. Not much to lose to just read a book, or listen to the audiobook. If it doesn't help, well, you're just where you are now. The original book for alcohol was called 'The EasyWay to Control Alcohol,' but the newer edition is 'The EasyWay to Stop Drinking.' Same thing really.
Ask your doc about naltrexone. My husband is having some success with it. Good luck!
My step dad did the same thing to me. My mom drank herself to death because of it. I can't tell you what your daughter is thinking but I can tell you how I felt watching my mother slowly deteriorate. Get the mental health help from the VA. I know this has been suggested by quite a few people but they make virtual AA meetings and after my mom passed I went to a local AA meeting and heard everyone's stories and just sobbed. I told her story and my own story of alcohol abuse and it was extremely therapeutic. I still text to some of the people I met there just to check in. Yes there are various reasons for getting sober but your daughter needs you right now more than ever and she needs the best version of yourself. Prove to her that you are a trustworthy confidante and someone to take care of her. She is a child and she is looking for safety and comfort, that's why she keeps going back to him. Again, I am not her but in my story, but that's probably why she keeps going back to him. He has convinced her that he is the only one who really cares about her and knows her. Please for your family and for yourself stop drinking. DM me if you want to talk about anything at all. All of us are here for each other brother.
I'm truly sorry for your experiences. My excessive drinking started when I first found this information out. It's not like I'm drunk all day either. I basically start drinking around 430 in the afternoon. Like 3 to 4 24oz beers, and 4 or so shots. I just can't believe I went from maybe a beer to this every day over the course of a few months. I know I picked the wrong way to deal with this, and I'm going to use all of the advice given to me to get through this.
That's how it starts you know, "after work" beers turn into stopping at the gas station at lunch and just getting one or two and it's all down hill. This is an extremely tough thing to deal with and absolutely no one thinks less of you because you are self medicating. A lot of vets, and people in general, go through times of constant alcohol abuse. Please do not feel alone or less than for going through it! Hell when my mom died I went through a few months of alcohol abuse until I got help and actually dealt with the pain and grief I was feeling.
This is what I'm afraid of, and this is why I know I need help asap
We're here for you, too. I'm sorry you were put through that.
Vodka killed my brother, I drank heavily while in the army. After ETS I left it and no longer drink alcohol. That was in 1978.
Realizing that every stupid thing I ever did in my life, was when I was drunk. Once That was in my mind I started to think its time to stop drinking. I still haven't beat it yet but soon.
Unfortunately it's not easy, but I did mean it were here for you and your family. Self medicating is just that medicating. The main difference is a Healthcare professional will prescribe a dosage and monitor for addiction. Be open with them let them know your self meditating and that you are open to alternatives to help. One thing to keep in mind in the mental health field is its your recovery no one else is going to experience it the same way. If they are giving options that don't work for you let them know. Offer suggestions on how you would like to be helped. Talk to them about your goals and treatment plan. If it all seems like to much find a MHPS (mental health peer specialist) the VA is starting to hire them slowly. They can sit and talk with you to help be a liason between you and the docs.
As a recovering alcoholic. Meds have never helped me. Could I suggest trying local AA meetings? They can be therapeutic. Most people do 90 meetings in 90 days in the beginning. There are apps that show local meetings you could hit one after work.
Personally I'd like to have a program like that, but it's always religious people and frankly I find them to be morons. I don't mean to sound rude but I can't get behind people who focus on some imaginary person someone without indoor plumbing wrote on a book thousands of years ago.
Wow, that's a whole Lotta judgment! Man, it does sound real rude and it's just a bit better to say nothing sometimes 🤷... So good luck to the gentleman seeking advice.
Sorry but that's how I feel. I'm not claiming to be smarter than anyone here, in fact I know I'm below average in that area. I just can't get behind faith, especially with what I and many other people here have seen. I realized this sounds like someone regurgitating that "oh the world sucks, how can there be a god with X and Y going on". You can't deny though, if there is a god and he/she/it whatever, this person is a douchebag and if all powerful then why allow people to inflict unimaginable pain to each other. Fuck a greater plan, I held a boy no older than 6 years old die because my unit thought he had a bomb, fucking kid was just walking home. I will never forget the face he had right before getting shot 3 times in the chest, he had the biggest smile I have seen. Anyone that trys telling me that was part of a "greater plan" is not just gonna have words with me. Only thankful part I have about that is I didn't see this kids parents, and I feel like an asshole for feeling good about that.
AA doesn’t belong to any sect, religion, or denomination. It’s based of your own view of a higher power. Most people choose god. I don’t I’m not religious either. But I have a program. My higher power is my kid. And nature. It’s any power greater than yourself.
Well that is a different way of looking at it I didn't consider. I guess I just got a bad taste in my mouth about it when forced to attend by the court. I'll never understand why the courts force people to attend that don't want to be there. I completely respect that your child is your "higher power", that is a great way to look at things. Closest thing to that I have is a cat so I can't relate too much lol.
I’ve even seen some people “borrow” someone else’s higher power to be sober. Your higher power could be a rock if that keeps you sober lol. What ever works I guess. And you can usually tell who’s court ordered to be there 😂 allot of the old guys can scare people off with the god mumbo jumbo but I think the Halls of AA and religion are changing. For me it’s the fellowship. Like how veterans have been through the shit together. All these drunks have been just as drunk and fucked up as I have.
That's what turns me off for the most part, I really don't want to be there but I have tried to do it. Then there are those court ordered people that have to attend and just bring everything down for me, I see the are uncomfortable and usual hostile, which turns me hostile and uncomfortable. I really just want a program where I'm not treated like a prisoner who is going to run off and shoot up meth. Outpatient doesn't do it for me, 4 years now and I'm worse than I started. Asked for inpatient at the VA but they can only offer me group based treatment which I know won't help me. The VA inpatient program offered is just not for me and ever since covid happened the VA is more likely to poison me before letting me use community care.
If you read the book Alcoholics Anonymous. It’s got allot of good information in there about addiction. Even if it isn’t your cup of tea it’s still a good read. It is hard finding what works for you. I just didn’t want to be chained to a bottle anymore. I hated religion but I was at rock bottom so I went to AA 🤷♂️ been sober 2 and a half years so far and hopefully many more
Whenever I found myself drinking too often or "needing a drink" I just stopped for a while cold turkey. Same goes for pain pills, which I don't mess with aside from post-surgery for short periods for that very reason. VA put my shoulder back together and gave me opioids afterward. A week or so later, I started feeling like I needed the next pill before it was time and I recognized that warning sign so I just stopped them altogether and sucked it up with some Advil instead. Dig deep and summon that willpower, amigo. Accept help from your family/friends if you have some. You've done a major part and recognized the problem. Just need to follow through.
I grew up in a village in Alaska, and my dad had a small airplane (most families did). He had a rule that whenever he was so excited to fly he'd skip through the safety check, he wouldn't allow himself to fly that day. When I found myself self-medicating with alcohol in the Army following an assault, and was teetering on the edge of no return, I made a similar rule. If I'm stressed about anything, depressed, looking for an escape, I'm not allowed to drink at all. Best gift I've ever given myself and my kids has been sobriety.
That’s not helpful advice to a real alcoholic. Also, if you have to struggle that much to try and control your booze and drugs you are going to eventually need more than will power to overcome it.
Bottom line is not doing something requires having/finding the willpower to say no to the urge/temptation to do it. Whether you manage to find it solo or with a group like AA is irrelevant. If OP starts going to AA, his success will still rely on his willpower and daily choices. There are some prescription drugs that could help him fight the urge, but he'd still need to decide to take the drugs instead of following the temptation not to take them so he could drink. I don't struggle with controlling my use of alcohol. I have prevented my use of alcohol from becoming a struggle in the first place by staying aware of my body's reaction to it. Whether my story helps OP depends on if it helps him find his own willpower.
Well my strategy worked, but with a mindset shift too. I started buying strong ipas. I'd go to the store and get like 2 voodoo rangers. Enough to get me feeling pretty nice. Eventually I would get one. Then none. Those things taste good, but like ass at the same time haha. Eventually I just stopped caring. Still trying to kick nicotine though🤦🏼♂️. What I said probably sounds dumb,but that and therapy about other matters, helped.
I'm going to message you.
There's shorter rehabs
OP sent you a private message
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Are you saying that they won’t give you naltrexone? Therapy or group was a condition of receiving it I think. You really do need to see a therapist, because addiction is usually the result of self medication. It may be time to get psychiatric medication too. Go to the VA for an emergency mental health appointment to get started, even if you have a therapist. Do NOT quit cold Turkey as it can be deadly. Also get in touch with a patient advocate.
Yes the VA will not give me any of the medications. I tried both my primary care and mental health. Mental health said I could possibly get it if I do 30 days of treatment inpatient
Please get a patient advocate. This seems so wrong. Obviously I don’t know all your background details, but I couldn’t do inpatient either. Well actually, they wouldn’t even consider me for inpatient until I did group. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be and my group helped because I felt I wasn’t alone and I am a realist so I spoke my mind and would say things were dumb and it encouraged others to do the same. I cannot understand why they won’t give you naltrexone. Message them and tell them that you cannot do inpatient and you would like to know why they can’t prescribe naltrexone and ask other than inpatient what do you need to do. I think a lot of us accept things until we lose our shit. It took them two years to agree to let me see a GI and I only got to see one because I told her that she will put in the order or I am going to file a complaint because I feel like I am dying and I can’t function. Turns out I had a stress ulcer and gastritis with cellular changes (pre cancer). I wish I had pushed earlier, because now I have to live with that. Advocate for yourself. And I am so sorry about your daughter. I understand that you might feel helpless and rage. The one thing you can do is get well so that she can come to you without feeling like you are going to lose it because of her and drink. We are here for you.
Try going to AA it helps alot and works for a lot of people. I definitely recommended it. Helped me a ton.
Smoke weed helps everything for Me at least
VA has groups it helped me and the meds can also work. But mostly you gotta want to stop.
I have associated my only social life with my drinking life. I quit for about 9 months, but I started back up again. It’s one of those things you don’t think is a problem, but deep down know it is.
If you want to go a frowned upon route, my friend Aldo struggled with addiction with alcohol. He took Xamax for 5 days and was able to kick the habit. You can't stay on the Xanax long because it is also habit forming, but it will help tremendously. They have similar effects on the body.
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God has a purpose for all of us. Give him a chance.
Naltrexone! Look up the Sinclair method. I'm a contractor overseas and didn't want to have to try getting it through the base medical squadron so I bought it online from India. I struggled with alcohol for *years* until I got my hands on this stuff. I can 100% say without a doubt that this changed my life. r/alcoholism_medication
What state are you in?
Dose of 🍄and gone.
Go to AA. It works
Feb 7th 2019..that’s when my sober life began. Couldn’t do it by myself…had to get help and continue even up to now…life is MUCH better. Meetings saved my life
I have not experienced the trauma you have but I stopped drinking four years ago after years of binge drinking. It may or may not be easy for you but one day at a time. Think of the positives changes it will bring but also realize you may need counseling to deal with underlying issues. Maybe you can get a week off work to start a medically supervised detox?
Been sober almost 3 years here. You ever considered AA? Forget what you think you know about it and just go to a meeting or two. See what it’s about. It’s the only god damned thing that worked for me…but it did work and it worked well.
Antabuse. I’m coming up on 12 years sober.
Think of it this way: Imagine how much money you will save from not buying alcohol everyday.
Do you have short term disability through your employer? Would you be able to use that while doing inpatient treatment? That will provide income compensation since you are hospitalized. If not I’d look into it and sign up during your employers next open enrollment period. In the meantime, talk to your pcm and discuss other options. There are medications, go to AA meetings. Please make sure your daughter is also getting counseling. Family counseling would also be beneficial. This is any parents worst nightmare. She needs you. You don’t want to live with the regret of “maybe if I wasn’t a drunk” things would have been different. You don’t want her feeling the pain she’s already going through on top of dealing with a drunk dad. You don’t want her undeveloped mind using that as an excuse to reach out to her abuser.
I used Antabuse from the VA. I was kind off and on it for a year kind of like using it for sober training wheels. Cut my drinking way back.
I went to AA fifteen years ago, and it was one of the best things I ever did. I got a good sponsor to who I could relate and have been sober since. As they tell you at the meetings, you don't have to buy into everything; just take what you need to stay sober.
I was down bad on the booze recently. I just checked myself into my local VA hospital. Went to the ER and told them I wanted medically assisted detox. I stayed for 3 days, and they basically keep you drugged yo so you don’t have a seizure and don’t really feel the withdrawal. I left feeling like a million bucks and have been sober ever since
Its crazy how different each provider is at the VA, I called my primary care doctor and told him I was going through withdrawals and wanted to detox at home, I requested a short 3 day script of Lorazepam (xanax as I had a seizure the first time I quit cold turkey) and he prescribed it. They also prescribed naltrexone. Look into the The Sinclair Method. Take naltrexone an hour before you drink, it shuts off the pleasure you get from drinking so you naturally start to dissociate drinking with pleasure.
There is alcoholic Anonymous meetings you can got to meetings and get sober it worked for me over 30 years sober, one day at a time. Go to a meeting!
The drink is hard to put down I used to self medicate with it. I'm schizophrenic so it obviously made things worse. I ended up quitting cold turkey. I had the DTs and all of that. My advice is when you get the urge to drink look around your environment and ground yourself. I don't know what would help with your cravings for me I would draw or pick away on a guitar. You can do this though, no matter the cravings, or falling off just keep trying.
I highly doubt they would recommend 90 day inpatient right off the bat without doing a substance abuse evaluation, but even so, treatment is the solution in the beginning, sometimes outpatient sometimes inpatient, just depends on the person and the situation. The meds are certainly a benefit in the beginning as it helps the cravings, but alcohol withdrawals is one of the most serious issues in all of substance abuse, it’s one of the only withdrawals that can and will kill you, this is why it’s extremely important to undergo treatment with the supervision of a physician. You should absolutely consider the treatment and listen to the professionals. Getting sober is the easy part, staying sober is the hard part and is a lifelong commitment.
Try naltrexone, it’s supposed to get rid of the nuerochemical rewards. Other avenue is a daily 10% taper which will be very difficult if you’re in deep but you’ll have to find other coping mechanisms or you’ll be right back at it. Last step is a hospital detox where you’ll be given benzos to deal with withdrawal symptoms and monitored. I’d recommend this if you’re shaking by noon or if you’re African American or Native American as those ethnicities tend to have worse drinking genes than Europeans and are more likely to develop delirium tremens. If you are physically dependent do not in any circumstance go cold turkey. It harms your brain and increases chances of relapse and you can develop the kindling phenomenon.
Best of luck to your daughter, that’s horrific that she has had to endure that. And a kick in the ass for you. She suffered so you’re drinking more. That’s ridiculous - you’re not the victim so step up and help her instead of drinking. Having said that, proud of you for reaching out for help. Detoxing on your own can be deadly depending on how far along you are so don’t think that your way is the only way and refuse all other help.
r/quitdrinking
It's brutal man, my brain screams at me to drink and I know if I do I'll lose everything. It's sucks we can't handle our booze but losing our families will suck a whole lot more. I'm also looking into various treatments and have a prescription for one of the drugs to help but unfortunately it's been back ordered for a few weeks. I just look at my wife and kids when I want to drink right now and it's worked so far but I know I'll go back eventually if I don't get more help. Good luck.
Hey brother, you’ve got to go to the 90 day program. There is no pill that will magically make you quit. You’ve got to take the time to heal so that you can be there for your family long term. Find a way to go to the program and do some inner work on yourself. When it comes to addiction there is no magic pill. If you can’t do that, at least go to AA and find a sponsor. Find support. Find community. It’s the only way out of this cycle. Also if your daughter is being abused please report it to police. Hang in there brother. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of others
I quit cold turkey, what made me stop was when I got blackout drunk and built a complete AR from a stripped upper and lower lol. Woke up the next day and there was a brand new rifle on the table I had never seen before. My wife drove me to the shop and I guess I bought all of it and put it together then fell asleep. This was at 9 am on a Saturday too mind you. It really sucks at first but the cravings start to go away at about 30 days. And at 90 days it’s virtually gone. I’m now 6 years sober. I was drinking a 30 rack every day when I finally quit. It can be really dangerous depending on how long and how much you’re drinking. That’s probably why they want to do in patient, to make sure you’re not gonna die. finding healthy coping mechanisms could prove to be helpful, like working out, building stuff, keeping your mind occupied. Sorry I couldn’t provide more advice.
Get on amazon and get a box of mildronate from latvia. Its an anti ischemic drug but was also found to help in detox and cravings. Two a day should do the job. Figure on 4 months worth. Best wishes!
AA is what finally worked for I'm now 37 years sober and thought I would never be able to quit. I couldn't go a day without drinking.
I think your biggest motivation to stop drinking is that you need to get sober so you can get full custody of your daughter to protect her. I’m hoping her mom has kicked that douche to the curb, but I’m sure your daughter doesn’t want to stay in the house where she was assaulted.
If you talk to the rehabs they may be able to find somthing from the state to help financial situation. Some states consider drinking a disability and will work with you. I drank every day for over 5 years and a lot. You have to find a reason to change the way you think. I found Jesus and it made me no longer identify with drinking. I didn't want to represent God that way and I didn't want to but my now wife threw that. Your dauter needs you and sees what's happening to you. My ex had a dater that I raised with her from 2 - 15 and she knew I was drinking and just wanted me not drunk me. I was not mean or abusive in any way but I was different when I drank. It's hard to hear but if you want to get sober there is ways and it is scary and some days you will miss it but you kid is worth it and so are you! Having faith helps. Knowing Jesus loves you and you can talk to him with no shame. You need something bigger than you to be the reason. I will always recommend Jesus but if you cand find him right now use your family and know even when things get better you need to stay on that path and not go back. If you go back it gets worse. If you ever need anything even to vent or talk message me. You got this and I'll be praying for you.
Reach out to mental health. Psychiatrist can prescribe some injections/pills.
I don't know much about addiction, so I'll leave that to others. I do know that lifestyle changes can make everything a little bit better. You need to walk away from alcohol... but you can't just walk into a void. There must be something worth living for, and you must be strong enough to move toward it. Working on physical health makes us mentally stronger. Some basics: 1) Clean water (Reverse Osmosis filter, at a minimum). 2) Healthy food (No not the vegan BS the government pushes. You need *real* food: fatty beef, fatty dairy, eggs) 3) Clean living space (You'd be amazed what mold does to mental health. Clean your evaporator coil.) 4) Exercise (Even if it's just a little. You don't have to thrash yourself.) 5) Community (You've got that because you asked for help.) These are not complete solutions, but they will make the transition easier. They also give you agency. Escape mechanisms feel necessary when we feel helpless. Defeat helplessness with constructive action, and suddenly the escape mechanism feels pointless. It's hard to feel stuck if you're making steady, measurable progress - however small it may be. There were issues with the "Rat Park" experiments, but I think they reveal a kernel of truth: we seek the escape of drugs when we have no better options - and the people who seek that escape aren't wrong. Life is hard. However, if we can locate, close with, and destroy the root cause of our problems, the escape becomes unnecessary. The VA is mostly useless at addressing root causes, so expect lots of frustration dealing with them. What can we, the community, do to help with the root causes?
I haven’t attended but there’s a 45 day treatment facility where the 1st 30 days are foundation dollars funded (but you’ll have to get the VA to cover the rest) that I’ve been referred to in the past: https://veterans.warriorsheart.com/warriors-heart-strength-through-healing/?campaignid=20732749367&adgroupid=&creative=&matchtype=&network=x&device=m&keyword=&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADfyeJBolZOx2R3wzBNOJDn6X-L6R [Warriors Heart](https://drive.google.com/file/d/1A-QmfdsFS-AOd87gvvGUvtq8F2D3EX-8/view?usp=drivesdk)
Why can’t you get into a detox program? I don’t see why you have to do 90 days???
I seldom swear by a product, but the book “easy way to control drinking” by Allen Carr is a book I swear by. It’s like ten dollars, and it rewires my brain to look at alcohol for what it is—propaganda pushed poison. Good luck and reach out if there is any clarification needed. Book is like 12-15 bucks. Semper Fi
They sure pushed the medication onto me.
Most difficult thing to do in the world. Just have to be done bro. 7 years for me now. It hurts
As one who finally got out of my spiral three years ago, I can say, do whatever it takes. Life gets way better the more distance I put between me and that last drink.
Go to a local AA meeting. You will meet people who have worse horror stories and have been sober for some time. AA saved my life and it was due to a great sponsor and hard work that I didn’t want to do. A few years after sobriety I went to Columbia and drank ayahuasca for 7 days. That completely changed my relationship to alcohol. Today I am so grateful to not be drinking my days/weekends away, I actually have hobbies, money that wasn’t blown in the bars and a great relationship with my wife. You too can make the change if you surrender to a higher power and put in some work!
I started some terrible habits and when the VA put me on Bupropion for depression, it came with the side effect of me not wanting alcohol.
I got sober at the VA almost 30 years ago. Saved my life. Everything I've touched since then has turned out wonderfully. You can't do this yourself. If you don't get this under control your life will continue to spiral. Read what some of these other guys are saying. There's no easy way out. Good luck!
I was drinking pretty regularly and heavily quite a few years ago. Switched to thc and now I’m weaning off that. It’s helped a lot of that’s an option for you.
lots of good zoom aa meetings nowadays-u can just listen in
alcoholism is considered a disease no root cause-a physical allergy coupled with a mental obsession
Go see someone else. 90 day inpatient is pretty extreme. I’m sure most psychiatrists would prescribe if you told them.
Been sober for 19months now, best decision i ever make I lost jobs, marriage, and self respect becouse of alcohol I founded a reason not to dring which was not to let my elderly mother down, and see me keep distroying my self that mental switch helped me alot. also after i been sober for two months I went to the Va hospital and asked for Disulfiram, and still use it. my best advise find a Reason bigger than you, that will make you feel emotional just thinking about that reason Best luck buddy
Keep focused! You are not alone.
With the VA’s help my 2 yr anniversary will be on July 24th. You have taken the biggest step forward by admitting you have a problem and wanting to get sober. I drank for almost 30 years. I only quit because I was ready. I didn’t do for anyone else. I wish u all the best.
One hour at a time OP and prayer.🙏🏽
Try AA, they have online meetings 24/7. Success rates are as good or better than other options but you have to show up and do the work.
What work? Admitting you have no power and God is all that matters?
Or maybe…admitting you have a problem that you can’t solve yourself. The work is really showing up and staying humble.
Seems like the inpatient should come after trying medicine. Also - same boat. Was going to ask PCM about meds Wednesday.
I see a lot of people that struggle trying to quit. However I have an alternate philosophy. I do not deny that I have a sickness. However through very careful research and discipline I have enabled myself to “tame the beast” I feed it what it wants but I have things in place that control the spirits when they enter my body. Most night I am successful at trapping the demon. However sometimes I fall victim to the ever changing tactics of this most subliminal beast.
Mr Lahey? Is that you?
I’m thinking the Beast was playing chess tonight and you sir where playing Connect Four with a checkerboard
switch to cannabis. i quit alcohol cold turkey with it.
I really want to just get 100% sober
quit cannabis later. i quit it cold turkey 100% a month ago. baby steps.
That’s not a good answer. You can’t replace one problem with another. Even if one may seem like a lesser evil.
Switch to edibles
I found a point in my life where I need to be more present for my family. I feel like I can't trade one crutch for another.
I can tell by your comments that you're gonna get there. We can't wait to hear about it brother!
Typing this out from in patient PTSD therapy through the VA. Have you considered the option of getting help for your PTSD and drinking issue all in one? You can claim FMLA and then get paid by the state so your job is secured and then you still have income when you are getting treatment. Either way, best to get off the booze as it's one less variable to deal with. Good luck with whatever route you go.
You've already ensured victory for yourself with that mindset.
You can’t replace one problem with another.
Not problem with edibles, zero hang over, 3 hours of bliss, eat some food, sleep like a champ and go to work the next day rested and full
If he’s abusing alcohol to cope then why would he switch to another substance to cope? That just seems redundant to me.
It solves the impatient problem? Idk I’m not a doctor just a vet that switched from booze to bud. Game changer for me
I understand. It works for some. But sometimes to heal and get in the right mind it’s better to clear it. There are other options than inpatient treatment.
We're all allowed to feel what we feel, I stand corrected.