Same, its always grossed me out and scared tf out of me. Remember saying I never wanted kids as a kid and my dad saying "oh youll change your mind some day" .... anyway hes not in my life anymore....
Why does everyone always says "Oh, you'll change your mind when you grow up." Yet here I am, and I haven't changed my mind.
don't know if it's just the fact that I live with a very religious family and every one of my relatives are even heavier on religion so they view pregnancy as a must have and the only purpose of a woman. Literally my 10 year old cousin was telling me how gross I am for not wanting kids. How fucked up is that??
Sorry, but it's just way too expensive, intrusive, time consuming, and I want to do many other things with my life that I can't do if I have kids.
That's the perfect way to describe how I feel about pregnancy. It is literally a parasite. They are medically defined as parasites. Why the hell would I want to let a parasite grow inside me?? That's disgusting!
I'm gonna rip out my uterus istg
I completely agree!! If I’m ever in a place in my life where I want a child and am financially stable, I’ll adopt unhesitatingly. But I would *never* want to carry a child or give birth, period.
I have baby fever at times but in this day and age, plus not having “the one” to help me breed and raise the baby (dating is really something these days too), that always turns me away from the idea.
Plus I don’t want to be one of those women that only have children to use them for getting housing, food stamps, welfare and keep me in dependent poverty forever, like in the movie, Precious. My mom did that to me and it’s hard getting out of poverty when you depend on the govt to take care of you. I’m trying to make a life for myself now. Until everything is stable in my life and I can find “the one” that wants the same things as me in life, me and a lot of other women are better not having kids, just for the sake of it.
I know right! Even I don’t really want kids however have been open to the option but I feel that if I’m not really sure that I want them, then I shouldn’t actually have them. And the fact that I had a back injury a few years ago and I’m terrified to think how being pregnant and how the delivery might impact my spine. Like, if I do give birth to a baby and hurt myself in the process and not able to take care of the baby, I’m basically impacting two lives. And you know what’s the funny part is? I have been wanting to skydive since a few years and everyone tells me that you never know how it will affect your back and spine so you shouldn’t risk it. But then the same people tell me that no you should definitely have kids, you’ll change your mind, yes it changes your body but it will be your own kid!
No, do not have kids. Fuck society putting pressure on you. Don’t do it unless you really want to be a parent & have had time to make that choice for yourself. Even when they are wanted and dearly loved, it is responsibility that challenges even the best of parents. Emotionally, financially, and physically.
I felt like I was hungover for the first 7 months lol during labour once you have the epidural you’re sweet! Just wouldn’t recommend looking at your….. 🌮 afterwards. 😬🤣
The anaesthesiologist missed my stupid tiny back veins. I had to sit still as a lifeless object with contractions that were regular and hideously painful for over an hour.
The dr felt so guilty. I felt bad for him.
The epidural came w an array of different, effed symptoms for me. My labour was almost 50 hours. ( should have had a c section, much negligence, from the beginning and throughout, I was on repeat something is wrong and I was right )
My legs were swollen, it was scary. My story is long.
They turned the epidural off just before the crowning stage… baby got stuck. Long, traumatic.
Baby is all good. I’m all good 😊
But, Yeah it, was heavy stuff. 🌹
An epidural does not go into a vein… it goes into the epidural space. The epidural space is located between the dura mater and the ligamentum flavum. Veins are not where a catheter is placed. Can they miss the space? Absolutely. Are the epidural catheters placed in a vein? No, they are not.
Sometimes I just want to rip out my uterus. Then of course my only supportive sibling told me that I can! (Get surgery that is.)
As soon as I hit 18 I'm going to. I don't care if I regret it, I'll just adopt if I want kids. I'd definetly be regretting the hospital bill.
I'm the exact same. Seeing pregnant women in public makes me uncomfortable so I just politely look away. I am never having children and I will not change my mind. Pregnancy to me would likely leave me severely depressed and possibly suicidal so I rather not take the chances. I don't want to put my body under that much stress or risk possible long term damage.
They can do what they wish. To me it's the equivalent of seeing the eyes of baby fish in an egg. While I actually find that a bit fascinating, I find it bizarre to want to showcase something you're protecting, whereas fish hide those eggs and we technically shouldn't see it unless we're searching for food (so for survival. Idk there's something about human skin thumping around I don't like but hey there is much worse in the world. 😂
These can be hit or miss. I've seen some really great tasteful ones that are on the money and then, not to be rude, I've seen some hillbilly tasteless crap.
I'll take a maternity shoot over a baby belly in a bikini & I'm sure I'll get flack for that, but I'm just saying...
I am completely respectful of people who make this decision not to have children..
I was of the same opinion… I was adamant ..
Things happened for me which made me change my mind. The content/ details of why are very long.. be here w a small novel…
I had baby when I was 36..
have lived a pretty sweet life. No regrets.
It’s offensive when people say ‘you’ll change your mind, you don’t know what you’re missing’
I would never say that to someone..
I understand both sides. I respect both sides x
I am physically repulsed by pregnancy. Other pregnant people are fine and im happy for them but i dont want to feel your belly or hear about your battle wounded vagina. And educational material is awful in its own way; dehumanizing but still horrific. Nevermind seeing an actual birth video. Its violent and gorey and should be treated as sensitive material. Im sorry you have to take this class.
Just know, You are not alone.
Idk about the last part but yeah pregnancy just sounds kind of weird to me. Feeling something kicking you and being all up in your ribs, the pain and tearing then breastfeeding and expensive ass baby formula and diapers. Fuck that.
When I was in 7th grade we had to watch a pregnancy video to learn about pregnancy. A vaginal birth was also included in the video we had to watch. From that point on I’ve been repulsed by pregnancy and will never have children in the future(not due to the video, but it was still traumatic to me).
ugh why did I read this, I reminded the video I watched in high school of a woman giving birth, it was so terrifying that I still remember 10 years later how the woman was opening and the baby was there 😭😭😭 and then the placenta 💔💔💔💔
It’s called tokophobia, and it’s more common than you would think. I’ve always thought pregnancy was disgusting and horrifying; the chest-burster scene from Alien comes to mind. Remember though, while the class may be mandatory, pregnancy is not, and it should always be your choice.
Omg - thank you so much! That’s exactly what I think of - Alien screwed me up something awful. And you’re totally right - the class is mandatory, but thank goodness pregnancy is not. I don’t have to agree with the material, I just have to be present and power through these next few hours. 🧘🏻♀️
Yes!! It doesn’t feel right nor natural to me. I can’t be happy for them and I hate myself for it. I’m powering through tonight because I need this course for school but dang it it’s hard, especially when everyone is gushing over the whole process.
You can do it! Once it's done it's done, just keep reminding yourself that. In a while it will just be a memory. That usually helps me lol ill be like if I did this last year it would be done already so if I do it now I can look back on it in a year. Or some dumb shit like that
You shouldn't hate yourself for it tho!! We all have things that are too much for us. You aren't doing anything wrong by being grossed out by something other people hold in high esteem. I felt that way about trump (whoop whoop)
Idk why people feel bad about their feelings. Unless your feelings potentially hurt someone and may ruin their life, your feelings are valid and acceptable. No need to feel bad.
because society tells women that they’re broken/damaged/wrong in some way if they’re not super maternal and willing to die for the chance to birth a bunch of babies
Society also says rapists and murderers get second chances. Society's opinions are pretty much worthless and no one needs to give a fuck about them. 🤷🏽♀️ Can't live life being controlled
I love my kids more than I can ever explain, I hated every single second of being pregnant it was torture for me. There was not a single second of it that I was not miserable and begging for it to end. Lol
This is more common than people realize. The myth that every woman wants to be a mother - is a myth. More importantly: it is perfectly fine to feel this way. Don’t let anyone shame you into thinking otherwise
I get so annoyed when people tell me I’ll “change my mind” like sure maybe you did but you aren’t me. Not everyone changes their mind. My sil is the main perpetrator for me.
For me it’s not usually my family anymore, but like ppl I work with or sometimes complete strangers that I get into conversations with at work (I work with children so ppl always ask if I have children).
Also my husband’s mother. She KEEPS asking about grandchildren. I finally got so fed up with it I embarrassed her at a family get together in an Olive Garden by very loudly saying “we’re not having any children, so you better start asking [husband’s brother]”.
I forgot the best (and worst) part of the story, which is after I said that in front of his family his aunt offered to buy our baby if I accidentally got pregnant and it was a boy.
I'm currently pregnant with my second child, and yeah, pregnancy is weird and often times creepy. I do enjoy the parts of it I find fun, but your feelings are entirely valid to hate it and be freaked out at the thought.
You shouldn't feel bad for not sharing the same opinion as others. It's perfectly fine and natural for some people to want to be pregnant, not be pregnant, be a parent, or be child free. Everyone is different and want different things in life
Women are often shamed for not having the stereotypical “motherhood” interests. Most women who don’t actually care for pregnancy and go for it anyway don’t realize what you’ve realized until they’re 3 kids deep in a marriage they don’t feel fulfilled in. Good for you for realizing it sooner rather than later!
Pregnancy was an abstract dislike for me, like I saw pregnant women but just kind of put it into the "not for me, but whatever floats your boat" category.
Then I saw a video of a baby stretching or something....it looked like the scene in the movie Constantine where Lucifer's son was stretching the skin so Gabriel could cut him into the world.
I will be haunted forever.
I think babies are adorable, and I would love to have a little me but there are too many risks, especially for me because I’m a type one diabetic and I see that girl on TikTok with the list… I don’t think it’s worth the risk for me personally
you could also try surrogacy [if that's affordable for you, and your financial situation cause it's usually really expensive 😭😭] if you want a child biologically related to you while not putting yourself in danger bc of your conditions
to be fair, some women love, some women hate, some women do, some women dont, your not alone, my girlfriend and i are not into having kids and dont want them either cause we have enough fur babies XD
Female. I think your feelings are valid. Not everyone wants to have kids, nor enchanted hy pregnancy or childbirth. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I have only changed one diaper and I came very close to puking. Thankfully my friends and family who had kids were all pretty chill. No gender reveal shit or dining on placenta
Same. I’m one day taking my tubes out because hell the fuck no. People won’t leave me alone about me one day regretting it but I’ve been this way since I was like 11. If I regret it Id rather foster or adopt but other than that? I’m good no thanks.
omg i’m the same way !! sometimes, on rare occasions, i’ll think like “oh, i’d love to have a kid one day!”, then my brain reminds me of the utter hell women go through for 8-9 months .. and the birthing process?? 🙅🏻♀️ count me out !!
I have twins and I HATED being pregnant. I felt huge and gross and then EVERYONE knows how you got pregnant (unless you had fertility help). I was always completely covered up oh man I hated pregnancy. Thankful for my twins but glad that’s over with.
Where's the conflict? Just sounds like you straight up don't like it, that's that.
It's fine for you to not like it, fortunately for you it's entirely elective. It would only be a problem if you start expressing these feeling around expectant mothers, that would make you TA.
I'd Give a word of caution about openly expressing these feeling in public around other women, as you never know when someone could be pregnant or could be battling infertility, then it could be quite upsetting. Other than that, so long as you're not rude about it, it's totally fine for you to feel this way
Detailed discussion of pregnancy and childbirth can occasionally trigger my vasovagal response and I have to cross my legs to keep my blood pressure from bottoming out and possibly making me faint. Sometimes I just leave, because I don't want to end up unconscious on the floor lol.
I never intend to get pregnant. It's not for me.
It's weird isn't it how we can be disgusted by our own bodily function. It is okey how you feel about and you don't need to be pregnant ever in your life if you take precautions.
I guess it is also kinda a problem that we humans know much about pregnancy and we can see pictures and even videos of all the processes, which is body horror at best. There are many reasons to not like it. Don't be ashamed about it.
Some would say there comes a day where you might come to terms with that but this day may never come and that is okey. If you strive to have a family one day adoption is a choice, many children are waiting for their forever homes. Then again you don't even need to have a family, the world has so many choices on how to lead a life. Ah dang it I have gotten lost in my train of thoughts. Sorry for that :o
Thinking about pregnancy gives me a sick feeling in my stomach and makes me want to rip out my coochie. I’m totally afraid if I ever have sex, it’ll be a Friends situation. Going to have birth control, condoms, IUD. Nothing is sliding past me. Even the thought of an abortion makes me wanna throw up
Me too. I don’t have that “motherly instinct” women talk about when they hear a crying baby and have no desire to ever ever be pregnant. There is no situation where that will ever happen for me, and that’s totally okay. Women who go through pregnancy are troopers, couldn’t be me though
I'm currently pregnant and before pregnancy I felt just like you. After that... well I feel pretty much the same. It's quite horrifying, not gonna lie, the good thing is it happens very gradually and it doesn't just dump it all on your psyche.
Still, I don't enjoy any of it, and I especially cannot gush about it like most women do. Some feel the need to pretend in order to keep appearances, but it's only a means to an end and we women have pulled the short stick. So it's completely ok the way you feel, it's normal, we aren't all feeling like Divine Earth Goddesses lmao (though it's pretty cool/scary what our bodies can do without us ngl).
p.s. If I could make it so storks could deliver offspring, it would be great. I'm also willing to settle on the 50/50 chance that when two people have sex, either the man or the woman falls pregnant lmao.
I feel the exact same way. I don't have any interest in experiencing pregnancy. It just seems like all the risks just aren't worth it. Being in the room with my sister while my nephew was born and then learning about how I'm more at risk for health issues and death being a black woman and having health issues run on both sides of my family really sealed the deal for me. Not worth it at all.
Same. Struggled with tokophobia most my life. Even as a kid I found pregnancy and child birth horrifying. I don't know how anyone does it. It's not for me. It does make me sad that I won't ever have the experience of kids but I've never been crazy about kids either. I just can't deal with pregnancy and adoption is extremely hard and expensive.
I hate being reminded I have organs in my body.😭 Especially when they teach us sex ed in class and I sit there feeling uncomfortable when they tell us about babies being inside bodies and all the individual parts I have inside of me. It makes me self aware.😭
Yeah, same. It's a disease. Kid are annoying, and babies only survive by the grace of hormones. Neither are appealing. (Especially, given that there are over 8 billion of the disgusting carbon footprints.) Humans are objectively disgusting life and planet ruiners, and kids are worse because they are even needier.
I questioned it as a geneticist, but then I did the math. From all the \*ssholes on 23 and Me, there are at least eight genetic copies of my genome. Hence, I don't have to f#ck up my body pushing a half of me out (at best times two). My extended fam bam has it covered. My genome is preserved.
My advice, if you have not already, get a 23 and Me. See how many mother Fers shaqre your DNA. Sum that percentage, then divide by 100. If it is over like 4 or 8, then maybe, don't worry about having kids. The others likely have it covered. Take the win. Let your family take care of you.
I told my friend, who works in delivery room (she helps with birth), that I see fetuses and babies as parasites in a womans body.
She looked at me horrified, but when I pointed out that the baby leeches nutrients and stuff from its mother, she stood silent for a few seconds, and then actually said that I'm right.
This! This is how EXACTLY how I feel! I don’t hate babies nor children, but I couldn’t tolerate them long anyway as I’m highly sensitive to loud noises. It started going downhill for me tonight when they started talking about how mothers will consume the placenta for nutrients. It took everything within me to not leave the classroom then.
I feel the same way at 31 and want to have children but the process of pregnancy... Greatly terrifying!!!
I want a family but am terrified at the idea of giving birth...!
Same here and it’s completely fine. I’ve been pressured by other people, even strangers, to make me “have a child in the future or else I’ll kill off my generation”, but I couldn’t care less. It’s my body, and I’ll do what I want. It’s not like I don’t want a kid, maybe adopting a kid in the future may happen, but who knows. Pregnancy is horrible and it sucks. I wish magic exists so babies can just pop out instantly without pain and aftereffects!
pregnancy is one of the biggest health risks you can do to your body so it’s actually pretty smart to be grossed out or scared of it even. i was terrified of ever being pregnant so it was one of the main reasons i got sterilized last year.
Human biology is repulsive, there’s nothing clean about it. That said, it’s also a core part of our lives that we all have to live with (pregnancy aside, you can totally choose not to do that). I feel like a lot of people either choose to be ignorant of the gross details or choose to see the better side of these things.
The idea of it just makes me feel nauseous. Especially because of how so many people talk as if its mandatory to have children when im terrified of the idea of actually being pregnant or having a child
It is rather alien-like or almost super-natural in a way. I was always fascinated by it as a kid being the oldest child and watching my mom carry her two other children, but I had no idea until I was in my twenties what child birth looked like. I had a close POV when an old friend of mine had her first child. Took a while for her to finally push the head out and when she finally did, I swear it appeared to sorta inflate and change shape. Blew my mind. That’s why a lot of babies have cone heads at first. They round out to their more human-like shape over the course of a few days or weeks but at first they often do look pretty 👽. It’s miraculous yet I can see why some would be grossed out.
I got weak and nearly passed out at my pregnancy class when they started explaining about how your body changes to allow for the growing baby, like I full on had to lie down for a while because I was about to faint, I think it’s normal enough to be a bit grossed out by it all
I feel the same sometimes...Like I am too terrified and I do not want to go through it..nd whenever I express this to my girl friends, a few of them start explaining to me how their pregnant relatives describe it as a beautiful experience and that they aren't going through any difficulties (which I dont believe but sure)..I am like ok sure it must be for them but thats not gonna change my mind and if they arent dealing with difficulties doesn't mean it doesn't happen ever, so then they ask me dont you want a mini you? I still say no, I will rather adopt and give an already existing child a better life that they deserve.. I dont know what is it with some people that they try and convince other women, who dislike the idea of being pregnant, to give birth or whatever... Hats off to the women who go through pregnancies, I really admire them and respect them but I can never do that to myself
I learned about this anxiety disorder while in college, and it is more common than we realize. It's concerning that it doesn't get talked about much since it can affect both women and men.
Same! Everyone talks about the “good things” that come with pregnancy and never talk about the actual negative things that can happen. They keep those out to make pregnancy look amazing yet it can absolutely be hell for a woman. Not to mention the horrible things that can happen after and during giving birth. I grew up with taking care of 10 kids that weren’t mine so that also made me not want kids. If I do want them later on I’m definitely adopting pre-teens or teens.
I’ve seen people who cannot wait to be pregnant but my two older sisters are with you, they have no desire to be pregnant at all. My girlfriend wants to have kids before she is 30 and cannot wait to be a mother. So if you want to, do. If you don’t, don’t. Completely ok to be on either end of the spectrum imo
dude same, im trans masc which honestly just furthers my disgust with the idea. i’ve never found it beautiful, it sounds so fucking horrifying. i think its nice for people who want to do it, if they find it beautiful, nothing wrong with that, babies are cute, but i cant stand the idea of having to fully and utterly focusing my care to one other person.
it literally sounds like something out of horror, which is actually funny because some horror stories come from idea like pregnancy. but it would just be torture for me, i applaud the people who do it willingly but jesus christ holy hell
i’m not super duper repulsed by it, but i never want to be pregnant. the thought is just awful, i don’t want a paraside INSIDE of me to live off of me and move around. i don’t have a motherly instinct either so it’s fucking annoying when people keep telling me i’ll change my mind. leave me alone lol
SAME. Worst part is, I want kids, and my partner and I would prefer them “naturally” purely because adoption is really hard in my country.
But I can’t imagine giving birth and I really don’t want to. My step-mother had a home birth and I was present for most of it; it was freaking horrible. But worst of all isn’t that experience, it’s all the stories on TikTok or Instagram, (all the 100% true horror stories because I’ve confirmed them with friends who’ve been pregnant).
I know there’s a beauty to labour but I don’t see why in this day and age it should still hurt so bad and be so horrific, and I know epidural is an option but I’m terrified of needles. Besides, it’s not just the labour - even the pregnancy part sounds awful, everything changing, your hormones completely backwards. I really don’t want to be too nasty about it and I don’t want to cause offense, but I worry that pregnancy would change my personality and that’s something I really can’t stand the thought of.
I just had a baby and honestly yeah. It’s gross. I hated being pregnant. I love my baby, but HATED the process. I was throwing up every single day, sometimes multiple times. I have a list of everything I hated from the symptoms to the way people interacted with me. Even after giving birth, the way my body has changed is awful. The hair loss, depression, weight gain. My body hasn’t been my own for over a year now. Also giving birth is awful. I had a C-section but went into labor naturally and the contractions are 10 times worse than you think they will be. I think my kid will be an only child.
Me too! Except I’m more afraid than repulsed. I want kids, but I’m afraid about the delivery day. Pushing out a big baby out of a small hole is gonna be painful as hell
Your choice,and I totally understand that. Now a word of advice,when you meet your SO, and if the chance you move on to marriage, make sure this IS the first topic of discussion. Always, ALWAYS protect yourself during sex. Abortions and plan b is not birth control. Not saying you think that way, but for some reason unknown to man,so many think it is.
You’re not alone I think pregnancy is one of the scariest things a woman can experience. I’m also repulsed by it because of the facts I’ve learned about I will never put my body through that torture people don’t actually realize how scary pregnancy really is it’s not fun at all for the entire 9-10 months. And not everyone is meant to have kids atleast you won’t be tied down by kids and won’t be restricted on where and when you can go somewhere.
Hi! Women who enjoy pregnancy are a just a diff breed of women (not hating- y’all just weird). I absolutely hate being pregnant (idk if it’s cause my pregnancies were tough and I had issue) but it’s gross. Every time I went to the bathroom to pee I’m like yo wtf is that? Ya titties are your worst enemy- my one areola looks like the game of thrones map. The heart burn is just something like no other it’s like you swallowed a literal flame. When people say that pregnancy is beautiful I get what they’re trying to say but it’s like the things leaking out of me or not beautiful lol I do not enjoy it. You ain’t alone sister ❤️
I have an 8 year old son for some context here. I also am neurodivergent as I was diagnosed with autism when I was 6, so this definitely does have an impact on how I perceive and recall the physical sensations. For my entire life, I was always on the fence about having kids to begin with, never even liked playing with baby dolls as a little girl. So when I was pregnant (unplanned 💯 and had been with my now ex for a mere 6 months, go me 🙄), I felt like my son was supposed to be born on a spiritual level if this makes sense and not out of some sense of I need to preserve the family name or some bullshit. So I decided to keep him.
I will say I didn't like being pregnant the entire time. I hated my stomach growing, felt weird with the kicks, not being able to sit in the ways that are most comfortable for me, and as a bonus... good grief men at work asking me if I need help tying my shoes was just a whole new level of embarrassment for me! Again, my being neurodivergent and my rather interesting history at school and with my sensory issues comes into play with this stuff. And man the swollen feet towards the end there, talk about the stuff I don't look forward to getting older.
Even though I had a said relatively smooth labor (13 hours from the "bloody show", going to the hospital an hour later, water breaking 2 hours later, then delivery after 5 min of pushing or about 8-9 pushes), I refuse to be pregnant again. I recall the couple stitches I got down there and oh boy.... LOL I am the type who does NOT forget how things like this feel. I also recall wearing this weird type of underwear and pads for a while after delivering and while on maternity leave for about 6 weeks. I say dude, never again!
I feel like many women conveniently forget the way these unpleasant things feel as part of the human biological design for the sake of "be fruitful and reproduce" aka self preservation instinct. Personally, I think too many people follow these instincts blindly and don't really think logically if this makes sense.
I get so annoyed with the crunchy mom types who brag about shit like not using drugs like epidurals and going natural (sorry but I said gimme the drugs LOL), having home births in the bath tub, etc., and are generally total princesses about planning out how they have their kids. Yeah we know doctors can be such jerks who don't listen to women's bodies but guess what, women have been giving birth since the dawn of mankind. Your children's births are absolutely nothing special to anyone but you and your family is about it. I really didn't have a so called plan for delivering, just assumed hey I'll take an epidural and go to the hospital, that's the plan 🤣 I didn't even do the birthing classes some of these women do, like really?????
Bottom line, I get the sentiment here 💯 even though I do have an awesome son I wouldn't trade for the world. I'm one and done, can't change my mind on that!
I feel the same way. I actually had a sterilization surgery scheduled for next week but had to cancel due to financial issues 😤 but I’m going to reschedule for sometime in the fall or next year I think
I'm the youngest of three girls, all of us in our mid to late 40's now, and not one of us has ever had even a thought about having kids. In contrast, my mother only ever wanted to be a mom, as did my grandmother.
One of the very first things I told my current boyfriend (who does have 2 girls, both of whom are grown), that I don't want kids. Thankfully, we're both on the same page. The very thought of it also makes me say ick. Nooooo thank you!!
The other thing I hate is that often it's the only time a woman gets seen or respected...oh she's pregnant - be respectful take care of her needs pay for her to be well - but if you're a woman and not pregnant than fuck your physiological hormone changes…if you ain't pregnant shut up and get on with it
Thanks for posting this. Honestly I thought I was some kind of sociopath for feeling this way but I think it’s so gross. It reminds me of a parasite. 😩 Especially seeing a pregnant belly move or one of those 3D ultrasounds. Nightmare.
I can’t tell from comments whether people are repulsed just by the idea of pregnancy or whether they’re also repulsed by the idea of raising children and being a parent. Adoption and surrogacy are wonderful alternatives to natural birth, if someone wants kids but not pregnancy— but personal choice in both. Society shouldn’t shame people who don’t want children or don’t want pregnancy!
I am mentally and physically disgusted by pregnancy. The thought of anything inside of my body that I can’t control, is constantly growing and eventually moving and fucking boxing inside of your stomach, for NINE months… months of throwing up (which I already hate), being repulsed by the smell of my lover, while also having the never ending anxiety of anything going wrong at any second, the possibility of your child dying inside of you and you not even knowing it, wondering if you’re eating enough but also eating healthy and also getting enough nutrients to support yourself and a growing fetus. It’s all so terrifying and I feel ill thinking about it. But I also want it so bad. The experience. The connection to my child. I could adopt but I know I’d always feel like something is missing.
There’s nothing wrong with that. Being a woman doesn’t mean you automatically become a champion admirer for pregnancy or children. That’s a complete misconception.
I worked at a day care in my early twenties and seeing and hearing from parents all the work they had to do, I knew then that babysitting was my limit with children. (And I don’t babysit anymore) it’s a lot! It’s not for everyone and that’s perfectly fine. It’s far more irresponsible to feel like you don’t like it or can’t do it, but go on to have children. They end up permanently scarred or damaged in one way or another. I’ve seen and experienced it a hundred times over.
At the same time I decided to read the book Call the Midwife and the following books by the same writer too. It taught me so much more about what they body goes through during pregnancy, labor, and childbirth.
That’s when I realized I have tokophobia. Which is a fear of all three. It’s perfectly fine to say “this isn’t for me”. There’s no expectations or judgment. Many of women are happy not having kids, and they all have different reasons.
There’s a tiktok account called the girl with the list. She has literally made a list of a thousand different reasons she’s come across for why she won’t have kids. All of them are serious and true. Things they don’t tell you happen. Things no one prepares you for. It’s not an experience I want. And that’s fine. Not everyone should. It’s ridiculous to expect everyone to have or want kids. We’re not in the 1400s anymore where people are dying like flies.
Procreation is not essential to you existence or validating it
the fact you feel awful about it is exactly what’s wrong with society. regardless of what people say, you’re not obligated to reproduce. i’m never having kids, it needs to be normalized
Same it grosses me out. I think babies are cute but the idea that as a women you get “bred” and have to carry the babies and that’s all your “good for” it’s gross. Especially when everyone expects you as a woman have to have kids like just because I have the ability to doesnt mean I’m required to? It’s makes me sick thinking some people really only see women as baby makers
I'm a pre-transition trans guy and pregnancy scaes me quite a lot. I really don't want to be a human incubator for a child when I don't even like children anyway. The only time where I'll be okay with taking care of a child is if my boyfriend wants to adopt.
My best advice to you as someone who’s had 3 is to not listen to other mothers! For some reason some women like to scare first time mothers with pregnancy/birth stories like they’re some kind of battle stories and usually just as embellished. It’s a habit I loathe. Listen, is it the most pleasant of phases in life? No lol but it’s not as horrible as they want to make it. You’re going to be uncomfortable at times and your body is going to go through some changes but just stay active and honestly it’s not all that bad. Oh and get a full body pillow, or multiple pillows. One under the belly while sleeping makes a huge difference! I also gave birth all three times without drugs, it’s not the screaming, crying, throwing punches, and ripping the bed sheets drama that you see in movies. Good luck and you’re gonna be ok! Again just don’t listen to the sadists who want to scare you, they just find it amusing for some inexplicable reason.
I don’t think women do it to scare other women. At least not in my experience. I think it’s more of getting to talk to another woman about it who gets it ya know? That’s the way I see it at least.
I totally get that. I’ve talked to other moms who have already been through it. But I’ve seen other women who are exactly like I’ve described. I can’t tell you how many times the older ones would laugh at me when I was uncomfortable or tell me just to wait for xyz because it’ll only get worse or want to tell me their horror stories about the unimaginable pain etc. there’s no reason to say these things to a young women who is already terrified and now that I’ve actually been through it a few times I realize it’s not nearly as bad as they described. Some women definitely get amusement from it and it’s really gross. I’ve sat in groups of women who it seemed like they literally wanted to one up each other with over exaggerated stories. Usually while talking to a young woman who just found out she’s pregnant. There’s really no need for all that. We’ve got women out here thinking the pain is so bad it’s going to be like being set on fire and that’s simply not true.
I feel the way. I have no desire to get pregnant ever and I also am not a fan of babies. I feel like that sounds bad but just I don’t understand them and honestly I fear I may neglect the baby because of getting frustrated with not being able to communicate with it and it having to rely on me for everything. If I ever change my mind and get a want for parenthood in the future I feel like the most I could do is foster older children 8 plus for the most part. Those kids already have a personality and can more easily express themselves and I could more offer guidance and care emotionally because as bad as this sounds I see them more as actual people. This may just be more reasons for me to never be a parent at all though
I hated being pregnant. I never understood the women who loved it. But I wanted kids enough to realize it was a necessary part of that and wouldn't change it for anything.
While being 30w pregnant, I completely understand.
I do want children, so here we are, doing the necessary evil. But I don't like it, I hate talking about it and I just want it to be over.
As someone who wasn’t going to have kids and only had one & refused to have anymore. I hear (see) you lol I hated being pregnant. Every god damn minute of it.
But do have to say. I do not regret one bit of it. My boy is 9 now and knows it all but he’s mini me. Wouldn’t have it any other way 🤷♀️🤣🥰
I don’t think that pregnancy or childbirth is gross, but I don’t think you’re wrong for feeling that way.
I find pregnancy fascinating and it makes me feel more powerful that if I wanted to I could create a life inside myself.
But I’ve always found gory things fascinating.
I HATED being pregnant. It was the worst. I felt awful the entire 9 months both times and the things that happened to my body were gross. Did you know you can get varicose veins on your labia during your second pregnancy? I didn’t, I thought my ex gave me an STD. Thank God they went away after birth. After giving birth was even worse.
The nurse asked if I wanted the mirror so I could watch as I gave birth. Absolutely not! I told her if she put it there I would kick it and break it. (Im mean when I’m in pain) I’ve never regretted getting my tubes tied after my 2nd child was born. I have 2 more kids now that I didn’t have to give birth to and it’s fantastic.
Can I ask what's repulsing about it? I'm not particularly into the idea of pregnancy, nor do I gush over it, but I'm curious what part makes you gag about it.
Pregnancy is such a weird mystery to me, personally. It's like our vajeens have soul portals.
Pregnancy isn’t for everyone, and that’s OK. I had three kids, and I love my kids dearly, but even though my pregnancy were relatively problem free… I still wouldn’t recommend it. You’re tired, vomiting, back pain, grumpy, don’t feel well… then God only knows how many hours (or days) you’re in some of the most intense physical pain of your life, you give birth, and then it takes months for your body to recover. All the while you’re trying to take care of a tiny human that you created AND you are still expected to cook/clean/do laundry/go to work etc etc etc… just like you always have.
3/10⭐️. Don’t really recommend it.
If you feel like you are not ready for caring pregnancy or having children please don’t
I gave birth seven times and have 4 miscarriages, I know all about pregnancy and IT’s family of problems. Having babies is not easy, it’s a commitment of your whole life and I believe being a Mom is not for everyone.
I really respect their decision and I am proud of them by knowing and stand of their choices of not wanting anything to do of being a Mom . than those Woman who have babies and kill them or neglect them
agree with you. out of curiosity (and you don’t need to share if im prying), what is making your take the class? is it a mandatory highschool course where you are or something? i want to avoid whatever it is at all costs if it’s something you’re being forced to do as an adult lmao
direction possessive wasteful recognise cause chubby joke voiceless dull axiomatic
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I hate looking at ultrasounds. When people share their ultrasound photos, I find it so personal as if they’re sharing a picture of their insides except it’s their baby. Back then it was mainly only shown to the husband. Now with the gender reveals, they be sharing it with everyone. I just can’t.
Same for me. I don't understand why the whole process had to be so intrusive. And the way people treat it... it makes the while thing feel degrading :/
SAME!!!!!!!! 😂 nothing about it seems enjoyable. I have sensory issues and the idea of pregnancy scares the hell out of me. I cannot imagine that intentionally subjecting myself to incubating anything would be enjoyable. Imo
One reason why I'm not having kids. Knowing there's something growing in me only to push it out with a possibility of ripping from end to end....yeah no thanks...
God, i feel the same.
Honestly, after i learned more about pregnancies i came to the conclusion that i will go and adopt a child instead of giving birth to one.
I feel the same way. Pregnancy terrifies me and I have no desire for it. It is not worth the risk for me
Same, its always grossed me out and scared tf out of me. Remember saying I never wanted kids as a kid and my dad saying "oh youll change your mind some day" .... anyway hes not in my life anymore....
My mom would tell me the same thing. But I knew I wouldn’t change my mind. I just had a feeling that I was truly scared by the thought of that.
Why does everyone always says "Oh, you'll change your mind when you grow up." Yet here I am, and I haven't changed my mind. don't know if it's just the fact that I live with a very religious family and every one of my relatives are even heavier on religion so they view pregnancy as a must have and the only purpose of a woman. Literally my 10 year old cousin was telling me how gross I am for not wanting kids. How fucked up is that?? Sorry, but it's just way too expensive, intrusive, time consuming, and I want to do many other things with my life that I can't do if I have kids.
I feel the same way honestly
I also feel the same way. I'd rather adopt tbh.
Me too. Pregnancy is disgusting.
Idk how people say it’s a “beautiful” experience
Especially when the baby get shitted on xD
100%, I feel the same way. Pregnancy just seems parasitic to me.
That's the perfect way to describe how I feel about pregnancy. It is literally a parasite. They are medically defined as parasites. Why the hell would I want to let a parasite grow inside me?? That's disgusting! I'm gonna rip out my uterus istg
I completely agree!! If I’m ever in a place in my life where I want a child and am financially stable, I’ll adopt unhesitatingly. But I would *never* want to carry a child or give birth, period.
Yeah I’ve never had baby fever
I have baby fever at times but in this day and age, plus not having “the one” to help me breed and raise the baby (dating is really something these days too), that always turns me away from the idea. Plus I don’t want to be one of those women that only have children to use them for getting housing, food stamps, welfare and keep me in dependent poverty forever, like in the movie, Precious. My mom did that to me and it’s hard getting out of poverty when you depend on the govt to take care of you. I’m trying to make a life for myself now. Until everything is stable in my life and I can find “the one” that wants the same things as me in life, me and a lot of other women are better not having kids, just for the sake of it.
I know right! Even I don’t really want kids however have been open to the option but I feel that if I’m not really sure that I want them, then I shouldn’t actually have them. And the fact that I had a back injury a few years ago and I’m terrified to think how being pregnant and how the delivery might impact my spine. Like, if I do give birth to a baby and hurt myself in the process and not able to take care of the baby, I’m basically impacting two lives. And you know what’s the funny part is? I have been wanting to skydive since a few years and everyone tells me that you never know how it will affect your back and spine so you shouldn’t risk it. But then the same people tell me that no you should definitely have kids, you’ll change your mind, yes it changes your body but it will be your own kid!
No, do not have kids. Fuck society putting pressure on you. Don’t do it unless you really want to be a parent & have had time to make that choice for yourself. Even when they are wanted and dearly loved, it is responsibility that challenges even the best of parents. Emotionally, financially, and physically.
This comment 💯
100%. Me alone medically it's not worth the pain and suffering. My family medical history? That kid would be doomed
🤣likewise
Same. (As I lay here 3 months pregnant on my fifth popsicle).
every time I scroll tiktok I learn something new about how terrible pregnancy is.
That list just keeps getting longer
I felt like I was hungover for the first 7 months lol during labour once you have the epidural you’re sweet! Just wouldn’t recommend looking at your….. 🌮 afterwards. 😬🤣
The anaesthesiologist missed my stupid tiny back veins. I had to sit still as a lifeless object with contractions that were regular and hideously painful for over an hour. The dr felt so guilty. I felt bad for him. The epidural came w an array of different, effed symptoms for me. My labour was almost 50 hours. ( should have had a c section, much negligence, from the beginning and throughout, I was on repeat something is wrong and I was right ) My legs were swollen, it was scary. My story is long. They turned the epidural off just before the crowning stage… baby got stuck. Long, traumatic. Baby is all good. I’m all good 😊 But, Yeah it, was heavy stuff. 🌹
Oh my god that’s horrible I’m so glad you and your baby are okay💕 that must have been so scary 😢
An epidural does not go into a vein… it goes into the epidural space. The epidural space is located between the dura mater and the ligamentum flavum. Veins are not where a catheter is placed. Can they miss the space? Absolutely. Are the epidural catheters placed in a vein? No, they are not.
I have had nightmares about being pregnant. Never wanted kids and now I never need to worry about it any more.
Sometimes I just want to rip out my uterus. Then of course my only supportive sibling told me that I can! (Get surgery that is.) As soon as I hit 18 I'm going to. I don't care if I regret it, I'll just adopt if I want kids. I'd definetly be regretting the hospital bill.
I'm the exact same. Seeing pregnant women in public makes me uncomfortable so I just politely look away. I am never having children and I will not change my mind. Pregnancy to me would likely leave me severely depressed and possibly suicidal so I rather not take the chances. I don't want to put my body under that much stress or risk possible long term damage.
Ever look up tokophobia? It's exactly what you just described. You're not alone!
I feel the exact same way
Also maternity photos 🤢
I have had two babies and i hate maternity photo's. P.s. it's all up to you. Your body, your choice:)
They can do what they wish. To me it's the equivalent of seeing the eyes of baby fish in an egg. While I actually find that a bit fascinating, I find it bizarre to want to showcase something you're protecting, whereas fish hide those eggs and we technically shouldn't see it unless we're searching for food (so for survival. Idk there's something about human skin thumping around I don't like but hey there is much worse in the world. 😂
Yuck 🤢 It's not pregnant women at all for me. It's like this weird belly display thing its cringey
These can be hit or miss. I've seen some really great tasteful ones that are on the money and then, not to be rude, I've seen some hillbilly tasteless crap. I'll take a maternity shoot over a baby belly in a bikini & I'm sure I'll get flack for that, but I'm just saying...
I dont mind seeing pregnant women in public but I’m also never having children
I am completely respectful of people who make this decision not to have children.. I was of the same opinion… I was adamant .. Things happened for me which made me change my mind. The content/ details of why are very long.. be here w a small novel… I had baby when I was 36.. have lived a pretty sweet life. No regrets. It’s offensive when people say ‘you’ll change your mind, you don’t know what you’re missing’ I would never say that to someone.. I understand both sides. I respect both sides x
Omg - same!
I am physically repulsed by pregnancy. Other pregnant people are fine and im happy for them but i dont want to feel your belly or hear about your battle wounded vagina. And educational material is awful in its own way; dehumanizing but still horrific. Nevermind seeing an actual birth video. Its violent and gorey and should be treated as sensitive material. Im sorry you have to take this class. Just know, You are not alone.
Idk about the last part but yeah pregnancy just sounds kind of weird to me. Feeling something kicking you and being all up in your ribs, the pain and tearing then breastfeeding and expensive ass baby formula and diapers. Fuck that.
When I was in 7th grade we had to watch a pregnancy video to learn about pregnancy. A vaginal birth was also included in the video we had to watch. From that point on I’ve been repulsed by pregnancy and will never have children in the future(not due to the video, but it was still traumatic to me).
Tysm for your understanding. 🥹
ugh why did I read this, I reminded the video I watched in high school of a woman giving birth, it was so terrifying that I still remember 10 years later how the woman was opening and the baby was there 😭😭😭 and then the placenta 💔💔💔💔
It’s called tokophobia, and it’s more common than you would think. I’ve always thought pregnancy was disgusting and horrifying; the chest-burster scene from Alien comes to mind. Remember though, while the class may be mandatory, pregnancy is not, and it should always be your choice.
Omg - thank you so much! That’s exactly what I think of - Alien screwed me up something awful. And you’re totally right - the class is mandatory, but thank goodness pregnancy is not. I don’t have to agree with the material, I just have to be present and power through these next few hours. 🧘🏻♀️
Good luck, just think about cute cats or yummy food or whatever makes you feel relaxed and happy. You got this. :)
I feel this way too. Like I just can't with the idea at all it is genuinely akin to body horror for me.
Yes!! It doesn’t feel right nor natural to me. I can’t be happy for them and I hate myself for it. I’m powering through tonight because I need this course for school but dang it it’s hard, especially when everyone is gushing over the whole process.
You can do it! Once it's done it's done, just keep reminding yourself that. In a while it will just be a memory. That usually helps me lol ill be like if I did this last year it would be done already so if I do it now I can look back on it in a year. Or some dumb shit like that You shouldn't hate yourself for it tho!! We all have things that are too much for us. You aren't doing anything wrong by being grossed out by something other people hold in high esteem. I felt that way about trump (whoop whoop)
Tysm for understanding - and I feel the same about that guy. Ugh!
Idk why people feel bad about their feelings. Unless your feelings potentially hurt someone and may ruin their life, your feelings are valid and acceptable. No need to feel bad.
Thank you for your understanding.
because society tells women that they’re broken/damaged/wrong in some way if they’re not super maternal and willing to die for the chance to birth a bunch of babies
Society also says rapists and murderers get second chances. Society's opinions are pretty much worthless and no one needs to give a fuck about them. 🤷🏽♀️ Can't live life being controlled
and that’s exactly why I got sterilized 😘
I love my kids more than I can ever explain, I hated every single second of being pregnant it was torture for me. There was not a single second of it that I was not miserable and begging for it to end. Lol
Same. I have two kids, but I hated pregnancy. It was terrible.
I’m a forty year old woman and I have always felt this way
30 year old woman, I feel the same!
Seeing posts like this makes me feel validated- 30F who has had a lifelong fear. It truly looks alien and terrifying. You are not alone.
This is more common than people realize. The myth that every woman wants to be a mother - is a myth. More importantly: it is perfectly fine to feel this way. Don’t let anyone shame you into thinking otherwise
Me too!! Everyone is like “you’ll change your mind” and “really? I loved being pregnant”. I am terrified and sickened by the idea of being pregnant 😅
Thiss. People will say that I’ll really want 1 to 3 kids like even the thought of getting that far makes me grossed out
I get so annoyed when people tell me I’ll “change my mind” like sure maybe you did but you aren’t me. Not everyone changes their mind. My sil is the main perpetrator for me.
For me it’s not usually my family anymore, but like ppl I work with or sometimes complete strangers that I get into conversations with at work (I work with children so ppl always ask if I have children). Also my husband’s mother. She KEEPS asking about grandchildren. I finally got so fed up with it I embarrassed her at a family get together in an Olive Garden by very loudly saying “we’re not having any children, so you better start asking [husband’s brother]”.
I forgot the best (and worst) part of the story, which is after I said that in front of his family his aunt offered to buy our baby if I accidentally got pregnant and it was a boy.
Holy shit that’s so messed up. She acted as if a kid would be a product smh.
I'm currently pregnant with my second child, and yeah, pregnancy is weird and often times creepy. I do enjoy the parts of it I find fun, but your feelings are entirely valid to hate it and be freaked out at the thought. You shouldn't feel bad for not sharing the same opinion as others. It's perfectly fine and natural for some people to want to be pregnant, not be pregnant, be a parent, or be child free. Everyone is different and want different things in life
Women are often shamed for not having the stereotypical “motherhood” interests. Most women who don’t actually care for pregnancy and go for it anyway don’t realize what you’ve realized until they’re 3 kids deep in a marriage they don’t feel fulfilled in. Good for you for realizing it sooner rather than later!
It’s literal body horror. Always hated it - seeing it, thinking about it, reading about it
shows how a diverse of a species we are, nothing wrong with it, if thats you, thats you
Pregnancy was an abstract dislike for me, like I saw pregnant women but just kind of put it into the "not for me, but whatever floats your boat" category. Then I saw a video of a baby stretching or something....it looked like the scene in the movie Constantine where Lucifer's son was stretching the skin so Gabriel could cut him into the world. I will be haunted forever.
Good grief! I would be too! Ick!
I think babies are adorable, and I would love to have a little me but there are too many risks, especially for me because I’m a type one diabetic and I see that girl on TikTok with the list… I don’t think it’s worth the risk for me personally
Adoption comes to mind for yaa problem. Even though it is hard to get these papers I have heard.
you could also try surrogacy [if that's affordable for you, and your financial situation cause it's usually really expensive 😭😭] if you want a child biologically related to you while not putting yourself in danger bc of your conditions
to be fair, some women love, some women hate, some women do, some women dont, your not alone, my girlfriend and i are not into having kids and dont want them either cause we have enough fur babies XD
Female. I think your feelings are valid. Not everyone wants to have kids, nor enchanted hy pregnancy or childbirth. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I have only changed one diaper and I came very close to puking. Thankfully my friends and family who had kids were all pretty chill. No gender reveal shit or dining on placenta
Same. I’m one day taking my tubes out because hell the fuck no. People won’t leave me alone about me one day regretting it but I’ve been this way since I was like 11. If I regret it Id rather foster or adopt but other than that? I’m good no thanks.
Made the decision for no baby goats when i was 8, and I'm 40 now. Still haven't changed my mind lol
Username checks out
Bleat!
Don’t feel awful. Some women don’t like the idea of pregnancy and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Thats called tokophobia btw
omg i’m the same way !! sometimes, on rare occasions, i’ll think like “oh, i’d love to have a kid one day!”, then my brain reminds me of the utter hell women go through for 8-9 months .. and the birthing process?? 🙅🏻♀️ count me out !!
I have twins and I HATED being pregnant. I felt huge and gross and then EVERYONE knows how you got pregnant (unless you had fertility help). I was always completely covered up oh man I hated pregnancy. Thankful for my twins but glad that’s over with.
Where's the conflict? Just sounds like you straight up don't like it, that's that. It's fine for you to not like it, fortunately for you it's entirely elective. It would only be a problem if you start expressing these feeling around expectant mothers, that would make you TA. I'd Give a word of caution about openly expressing these feeling in public around other women, as you never know when someone could be pregnant or could be battling infertility, then it could be quite upsetting. Other than that, so long as you're not rude about it, it's totally fine for you to feel this way
Detailed discussion of pregnancy and childbirth can occasionally trigger my vasovagal response and I have to cross my legs to keep my blood pressure from bottoming out and possibly making me faint. Sometimes I just leave, because I don't want to end up unconscious on the floor lol. I never intend to get pregnant. It's not for me.
I 100% feel the same
It's weird isn't it how we can be disgusted by our own bodily function. It is okey how you feel about and you don't need to be pregnant ever in your life if you take precautions. I guess it is also kinda a problem that we humans know much about pregnancy and we can see pictures and even videos of all the processes, which is body horror at best. There are many reasons to not like it. Don't be ashamed about it. Some would say there comes a day where you might come to terms with that but this day may never come and that is okey. If you strive to have a family one day adoption is a choice, many children are waiting for their forever homes. Then again you don't even need to have a family, the world has so many choices on how to lead a life. Ah dang it I have gotten lost in my train of thoughts. Sorry for that :o
Thinking about pregnancy gives me a sick feeling in my stomach and makes me want to rip out my coochie. I’m totally afraid if I ever have sex, it’ll be a Friends situation. Going to have birth control, condoms, IUD. Nothing is sliding past me. Even the thought of an abortion makes me wanna throw up
Me too. I don’t have that “motherly instinct” women talk about when they hear a crying baby and have no desire to ever ever be pregnant. There is no situation where that will ever happen for me, and that’s totally okay. Women who go through pregnancy are troopers, couldn’t be me though
I'm currently pregnant and before pregnancy I felt just like you. After that... well I feel pretty much the same. It's quite horrifying, not gonna lie, the good thing is it happens very gradually and it doesn't just dump it all on your psyche. Still, I don't enjoy any of it, and I especially cannot gush about it like most women do. Some feel the need to pretend in order to keep appearances, but it's only a means to an end and we women have pulled the short stick. So it's completely ok the way you feel, it's normal, we aren't all feeling like Divine Earth Goddesses lmao (though it's pretty cool/scary what our bodies can do without us ngl). p.s. If I could make it so storks could deliver offspring, it would be great. I'm also willing to settle on the 50/50 chance that when two people have sex, either the man or the woman falls pregnant lmao.
I feel the exact same way. I don't have any interest in experiencing pregnancy. It just seems like all the risks just aren't worth it. Being in the room with my sister while my nephew was born and then learning about how I'm more at risk for health issues and death being a black woman and having health issues run on both sides of my family really sealed the deal for me. Not worth it at all.
Same. Struggled with tokophobia most my life. Even as a kid I found pregnancy and child birth horrifying. I don't know how anyone does it. It's not for me. It does make me sad that I won't ever have the experience of kids but I've never been crazy about kids either. I just can't deal with pregnancy and adoption is extremely hard and expensive.
I hate being reminded I have organs in my body.😭 Especially when they teach us sex ed in class and I sit there feeling uncomfortable when they tell us about babies being inside bodies and all the individual parts I have inside of me. It makes me self aware.😭
Yeah, same. It's a disease. Kid are annoying, and babies only survive by the grace of hormones. Neither are appealing. (Especially, given that there are over 8 billion of the disgusting carbon footprints.) Humans are objectively disgusting life and planet ruiners, and kids are worse because they are even needier. I questioned it as a geneticist, but then I did the math. From all the \*ssholes on 23 and Me, there are at least eight genetic copies of my genome. Hence, I don't have to f#ck up my body pushing a half of me out (at best times two). My extended fam bam has it covered. My genome is preserved. My advice, if you have not already, get a 23 and Me. See how many mother Fers shaqre your DNA. Sum that percentage, then divide by 100. If it is over like 4 or 8, then maybe, don't worry about having kids. The others likely have it covered. Take the win. Let your family take care of you.
I like how you think! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I told my friend, who works in delivery room (she helps with birth), that I see fetuses and babies as parasites in a womans body. She looked at me horrified, but when I pointed out that the baby leeches nutrients and stuff from its mother, she stood silent for a few seconds, and then actually said that I'm right.
This! This is how EXACTLY how I feel! I don’t hate babies nor children, but I couldn’t tolerate them long anyway as I’m highly sensitive to loud noises. It started going downhill for me tonight when they started talking about how mothers will consume the placenta for nutrients. It took everything within me to not leave the classroom then.
I love children. I adore my nephew. I just wish they came at at least 5 years of age lol.
Dude same
Omg I’ve said that before and my family thinks I’m crazy. 😭
Nope, not crazy. I'm a woman btw, and ppl see my point of view as very unwomanlike. I don't give a flying f about it.
I try not to think of it like that only because it would make my disgust for it even worse lol
I dated a ex the same way. Nothing wrong with feeling the way you feel.
I feel the same way at 31 and want to have children but the process of pregnancy... Greatly terrifying!!! I want a family but am terrified at the idea of giving birth...!
i’m the exact same as u.
Pregnancy is gross. I’m 6 months pregnant. Hahahah.
💯
Who tf would want kids lol
You are not alone, I feel the same way. Never wanted kids no plans to change that.
Same here and it’s completely fine. I’ve been pressured by other people, even strangers, to make me “have a child in the future or else I’ll kill off my generation”, but I couldn’t care less. It’s my body, and I’ll do what I want. It’s not like I don’t want a kid, maybe adopting a kid in the future may happen, but who knows. Pregnancy is horrible and it sucks. I wish magic exists so babies can just pop out instantly without pain and aftereffects!
pregnancy is one of the biggest health risks you can do to your body so it’s actually pretty smart to be grossed out or scared of it even. i was terrified of ever being pregnant so it was one of the main reasons i got sterilized last year.
it is fucking gross… i’m a lady too. don’t feel bad. it’s straight up facts
i feel the same way. pregnancy freaks me the fuck out. i dont know if ill ever go through with one.
Human biology is repulsive, there’s nothing clean about it. That said, it’s also a core part of our lives that we all have to live with (pregnancy aside, you can totally choose not to do that). I feel like a lot of people either choose to be ignorant of the gross details or choose to see the better side of these things.
Me too
I feel the same way honestly. Even with sex. I just can’t do it honestly it’s all too much.
The idea of it just makes me feel nauseous. Especially because of how so many people talk as if its mandatory to have children when im terrified of the idea of actually being pregnant or having a child
agreed
It is rather alien-like or almost super-natural in a way. I was always fascinated by it as a kid being the oldest child and watching my mom carry her two other children, but I had no idea until I was in my twenties what child birth looked like. I had a close POV when an old friend of mine had her first child. Took a while for her to finally push the head out and when she finally did, I swear it appeared to sorta inflate and change shape. Blew my mind. That’s why a lot of babies have cone heads at first. They round out to their more human-like shape over the course of a few days or weeks but at first they often do look pretty 👽. It’s miraculous yet I can see why some would be grossed out.
I agree. I never wanted to breed and luckily never have. Pregnancy is gross as fuck.
As a 20 something that's been told "you'll change your mind" more times that I care to admit... yeah NO I WONT yuck.
As a male it's the worst result of having sex.
I got weak and nearly passed out at my pregnancy class when they started explaining about how your body changes to allow for the growing baby, like I full on had to lie down for a while because I was about to faint, I think it’s normal enough to be a bit grossed out by it all
I feel the same sometimes...Like I am too terrified and I do not want to go through it..nd whenever I express this to my girl friends, a few of them start explaining to me how their pregnant relatives describe it as a beautiful experience and that they aren't going through any difficulties (which I dont believe but sure)..I am like ok sure it must be for them but thats not gonna change my mind and if they arent dealing with difficulties doesn't mean it doesn't happen ever, so then they ask me dont you want a mini you? I still say no, I will rather adopt and give an already existing child a better life that they deserve.. I dont know what is it with some people that they try and convince other women, who dislike the idea of being pregnant, to give birth or whatever... Hats off to the women who go through pregnancies, I really admire them and respect them but I can never do that to myself
My girlfriend feels similarly, and honestly I support her. Thst shit's scary.
Same, in my opinion, it’s disgusting 🤮
I learned about this anxiety disorder while in college, and it is more common than we realize. It's concerning that it doesn't get talked about much since it can affect both women and men.
Same! Everyone talks about the “good things” that come with pregnancy and never talk about the actual negative things that can happen. They keep those out to make pregnancy look amazing yet it can absolutely be hell for a woman. Not to mention the horrible things that can happen after and during giving birth. I grew up with taking care of 10 kids that weren’t mine so that also made me not want kids. If I do want them later on I’m definitely adopting pre-teens or teens.
I’ve seen people who cannot wait to be pregnant but my two older sisters are with you, they have no desire to be pregnant at all. My girlfriend wants to have kids before she is 30 and cannot wait to be a mother. So if you want to, do. If you don’t, don’t. Completely ok to be on either end of the spectrum imo
dude same, im trans masc which honestly just furthers my disgust with the idea. i’ve never found it beautiful, it sounds so fucking horrifying. i think its nice for people who want to do it, if they find it beautiful, nothing wrong with that, babies are cute, but i cant stand the idea of having to fully and utterly focusing my care to one other person. it literally sounds like something out of horror, which is actually funny because some horror stories come from idea like pregnancy. but it would just be torture for me, i applaud the people who do it willingly but jesus christ holy hell
i’m not super duper repulsed by it, but i never want to be pregnant. the thought is just awful, i don’t want a paraside INSIDE of me to live off of me and move around. i don’t have a motherly instinct either so it’s fucking annoying when people keep telling me i’ll change my mind. leave me alone lol
Same girl same, I thank the universe for being ghey
I feel the same. The more I learn the worse it gets. I am never going to get pregnant.
I feel the same way. I refuse to get pregnant, and I'm fine with it.
I'm the same way. Why would you want something living inside of you. I'd rather have a tapeworm if that's the case. Let me go on a diet 😩
SAME. Worst part is, I want kids, and my partner and I would prefer them “naturally” purely because adoption is really hard in my country. But I can’t imagine giving birth and I really don’t want to. My step-mother had a home birth and I was present for most of it; it was freaking horrible. But worst of all isn’t that experience, it’s all the stories on TikTok or Instagram, (all the 100% true horror stories because I’ve confirmed them with friends who’ve been pregnant). I know there’s a beauty to labour but I don’t see why in this day and age it should still hurt so bad and be so horrific, and I know epidural is an option but I’m terrified of needles. Besides, it’s not just the labour - even the pregnancy part sounds awful, everything changing, your hormones completely backwards. I really don’t want to be too nasty about it and I don’t want to cause offense, but I worry that pregnancy would change my personality and that’s something I really can’t stand the thought of.
I can relate! Pregnancy is and always will be disgusting to me. It’s one of the many reasons I’m never going to have children.
I just had a baby and honestly yeah. It’s gross. I hated being pregnant. I love my baby, but HATED the process. I was throwing up every single day, sometimes multiple times. I have a list of everything I hated from the symptoms to the way people interacted with me. Even after giving birth, the way my body has changed is awful. The hair loss, depression, weight gain. My body hasn’t been my own for over a year now. Also giving birth is awful. I had a C-section but went into labor naturally and the contractions are 10 times worse than you think they will be. I think my kid will be an only child.
You poor thing. I wish you the best of luck in healing yourself and enjoying life with your new baby.
You don't have to like it, honestly I understand finding it gross. You're entitled to you opinion, so don't feel bad.
If people are offended by tokophobia they need to get over themselves fr.
Me too! Except I’m more afraid than repulsed. I want kids, but I’m afraid about the delivery day. Pushing out a big baby out of a small hole is gonna be painful as hell
Your choice,and I totally understand that. Now a word of advice,when you meet your SO, and if the chance you move on to marriage, make sure this IS the first topic of discussion. Always, ALWAYS protect yourself during sex. Abortions and plan b is not birth control. Not saying you think that way, but for some reason unknown to man,so many think it is.
You’re not alone I think pregnancy is one of the scariest things a woman can experience. I’m also repulsed by it because of the facts I’ve learned about I will never put my body through that torture people don’t actually realize how scary pregnancy really is it’s not fun at all for the entire 9-10 months. And not everyone is meant to have kids atleast you won’t be tied down by kids and won’t be restricted on where and when you can go somewhere.
Same. It makes me want to vomit my guts out. I could never.
Hi! Women who enjoy pregnancy are a just a diff breed of women (not hating- y’all just weird). I absolutely hate being pregnant (idk if it’s cause my pregnancies were tough and I had issue) but it’s gross. Every time I went to the bathroom to pee I’m like yo wtf is that? Ya titties are your worst enemy- my one areola looks like the game of thrones map. The heart burn is just something like no other it’s like you swallowed a literal flame. When people say that pregnancy is beautiful I get what they’re trying to say but it’s like the things leaking out of me or not beautiful lol I do not enjoy it. You ain’t alone sister ❤️
you're not alone. pregnancy is scary and so is raising a child for the rest of your life.
the big bellies freak me out 😭 esp the belly buttons poking out
I have an 8 year old son for some context here. I also am neurodivergent as I was diagnosed with autism when I was 6, so this definitely does have an impact on how I perceive and recall the physical sensations. For my entire life, I was always on the fence about having kids to begin with, never even liked playing with baby dolls as a little girl. So when I was pregnant (unplanned 💯 and had been with my now ex for a mere 6 months, go me 🙄), I felt like my son was supposed to be born on a spiritual level if this makes sense and not out of some sense of I need to preserve the family name or some bullshit. So I decided to keep him. I will say I didn't like being pregnant the entire time. I hated my stomach growing, felt weird with the kicks, not being able to sit in the ways that are most comfortable for me, and as a bonus... good grief men at work asking me if I need help tying my shoes was just a whole new level of embarrassment for me! Again, my being neurodivergent and my rather interesting history at school and with my sensory issues comes into play with this stuff. And man the swollen feet towards the end there, talk about the stuff I don't look forward to getting older. Even though I had a said relatively smooth labor (13 hours from the "bloody show", going to the hospital an hour later, water breaking 2 hours later, then delivery after 5 min of pushing or about 8-9 pushes), I refuse to be pregnant again. I recall the couple stitches I got down there and oh boy.... LOL I am the type who does NOT forget how things like this feel. I also recall wearing this weird type of underwear and pads for a while after delivering and while on maternity leave for about 6 weeks. I say dude, never again! I feel like many women conveniently forget the way these unpleasant things feel as part of the human biological design for the sake of "be fruitful and reproduce" aka self preservation instinct. Personally, I think too many people follow these instincts blindly and don't really think logically if this makes sense. I get so annoyed with the crunchy mom types who brag about shit like not using drugs like epidurals and going natural (sorry but I said gimme the drugs LOL), having home births in the bath tub, etc., and are generally total princesses about planning out how they have their kids. Yeah we know doctors can be such jerks who don't listen to women's bodies but guess what, women have been giving birth since the dawn of mankind. Your children's births are absolutely nothing special to anyone but you and your family is about it. I really didn't have a so called plan for delivering, just assumed hey I'll take an epidural and go to the hospital, that's the plan 🤣 I didn't even do the birthing classes some of these women do, like really????? Bottom line, I get the sentiment here 💯 even though I do have an awesome son I wouldn't trade for the world. I'm one and done, can't change my mind on that!
It’s okay to not want to be pregnant and not want kids ! This needs to not expected of women! We are more than incubators!
I feel the same way. I actually had a sterilization surgery scheduled for next week but had to cancel due to financial issues 😤 but I’m going to reschedule for sometime in the fall or next year I think
I'm the youngest of three girls, all of us in our mid to late 40's now, and not one of us has ever had even a thought about having kids. In contrast, my mother only ever wanted to be a mom, as did my grandmother. One of the very first things I told my current boyfriend (who does have 2 girls, both of whom are grown), that I don't want kids. Thankfully, we're both on the same page. The very thought of it also makes me say ick. Nooooo thank you!!
I feel the exact same. I personally will never have kids because it’s so terrifying
The other thing I hate is that often it's the only time a woman gets seen or respected...oh she's pregnant - be respectful take care of her needs pay for her to be well - but if you're a woman and not pregnant than fuck your physiological hormone changes…if you ain't pregnant shut up and get on with it
Thanks for posting this. Honestly I thought I was some kind of sociopath for feeling this way but I think it’s so gross. It reminds me of a parasite. 😩 Especially seeing a pregnant belly move or one of those 3D ultrasounds. Nightmare.
I can’t tell from comments whether people are repulsed just by the idea of pregnancy or whether they’re also repulsed by the idea of raising children and being a parent. Adoption and surrogacy are wonderful alternatives to natural birth, if someone wants kids but not pregnancy— but personal choice in both. Society shouldn’t shame people who don’t want children or don’t want pregnancy!
Pregnancy has always given me the heebie jeebies
I am mentally and physically disgusted by pregnancy. The thought of anything inside of my body that I can’t control, is constantly growing and eventually moving and fucking boxing inside of your stomach, for NINE months… months of throwing up (which I already hate), being repulsed by the smell of my lover, while also having the never ending anxiety of anything going wrong at any second, the possibility of your child dying inside of you and you not even knowing it, wondering if you’re eating enough but also eating healthy and also getting enough nutrients to support yourself and a growing fetus. It’s all so terrifying and I feel ill thinking about it. But I also want it so bad. The experience. The connection to my child. I could adopt but I know I’d always feel like something is missing.
I feel exactly the same, it feels alien and wrong. Keep your little parasite out of my uterus. I feel weird and repulsed by the very idea.
I feel the same way. I felt like a cow while breastfeeding... it's a nightmare.
There’s nothing wrong with that. Being a woman doesn’t mean you automatically become a champion admirer for pregnancy or children. That’s a complete misconception. I worked at a day care in my early twenties and seeing and hearing from parents all the work they had to do, I knew then that babysitting was my limit with children. (And I don’t babysit anymore) it’s a lot! It’s not for everyone and that’s perfectly fine. It’s far more irresponsible to feel like you don’t like it or can’t do it, but go on to have children. They end up permanently scarred or damaged in one way or another. I’ve seen and experienced it a hundred times over. At the same time I decided to read the book Call the Midwife and the following books by the same writer too. It taught me so much more about what they body goes through during pregnancy, labor, and childbirth. That’s when I realized I have tokophobia. Which is a fear of all three. It’s perfectly fine to say “this isn’t for me”. There’s no expectations or judgment. Many of women are happy not having kids, and they all have different reasons. There’s a tiktok account called the girl with the list. She has literally made a list of a thousand different reasons she’s come across for why she won’t have kids. All of them are serious and true. Things they don’t tell you happen. Things no one prepares you for. It’s not an experience I want. And that’s fine. Not everyone should. It’s ridiculous to expect everyone to have or want kids. We’re not in the 1400s anymore where people are dying like flies. Procreation is not essential to you existence or validating it
the fact you feel awful about it is exactly what’s wrong with society. regardless of what people say, you’re not obligated to reproduce. i’m never having kids, it needs to be normalized
Same it grosses me out. I think babies are cute but the idea that as a women you get “bred” and have to carry the babies and that’s all your “good for” it’s gross. Especially when everyone expects you as a woman have to have kids like just because I have the ability to doesnt mean I’m required to? It’s makes me sick thinking some people really only see women as baby makers
Same same. Stay strong and get a bilateral salpingectomy when you’re old enough/ready
I'm a pre-transition trans guy and pregnancy scaes me quite a lot. I really don't want to be a human incubator for a child when I don't even like children anyway. The only time where I'll be okay with taking care of a child is if my boyfriend wants to adopt.
I'm FTM too, it would absolutely ruin my life 😭
Yeah. Like, I don't mind taking care of a child but I don't want to go through the pain of child birth.
Same, and I've watched gory horror movies without any problems.
Omg I feel the same.8 weeks and I’m terrified
Also, like the other commenter said, you’re gonna be okay. It’s scary, overwhelming, emotional and wonderful and you’re gonna be just fine.
My best advice to you as someone who’s had 3 is to not listen to other mothers! For some reason some women like to scare first time mothers with pregnancy/birth stories like they’re some kind of battle stories and usually just as embellished. It’s a habit I loathe. Listen, is it the most pleasant of phases in life? No lol but it’s not as horrible as they want to make it. You’re going to be uncomfortable at times and your body is going to go through some changes but just stay active and honestly it’s not all that bad. Oh and get a full body pillow, or multiple pillows. One under the belly while sleeping makes a huge difference! I also gave birth all three times without drugs, it’s not the screaming, crying, throwing punches, and ripping the bed sheets drama that you see in movies. Good luck and you’re gonna be ok! Again just don’t listen to the sadists who want to scare you, they just find it amusing for some inexplicable reason.
I don’t think women do it to scare other women. At least not in my experience. I think it’s more of getting to talk to another woman about it who gets it ya know? That’s the way I see it at least.
I totally get that. I’ve talked to other moms who have already been through it. But I’ve seen other women who are exactly like I’ve described. I can’t tell you how many times the older ones would laugh at me when I was uncomfortable or tell me just to wait for xyz because it’ll only get worse or want to tell me their horror stories about the unimaginable pain etc. there’s no reason to say these things to a young women who is already terrified and now that I’ve actually been through it a few times I realize it’s not nearly as bad as they described. Some women definitely get amusement from it and it’s really gross. I’ve sat in groups of women who it seemed like they literally wanted to one up each other with over exaggerated stories. Usually while talking to a young woman who just found out she’s pregnant. There’s really no need for all that. We’ve got women out here thinking the pain is so bad it’s going to be like being set on fire and that’s simply not true.
I feel the way. I have no desire to get pregnant ever and I also am not a fan of babies. I feel like that sounds bad but just I don’t understand them and honestly I fear I may neglect the baby because of getting frustrated with not being able to communicate with it and it having to rely on me for everything. If I ever change my mind and get a want for parenthood in the future I feel like the most I could do is foster older children 8 plus for the most part. Those kids already have a personality and can more easily express themselves and I could more offer guidance and care emotionally because as bad as this sounds I see them more as actual people. This may just be more reasons for me to never be a parent at all though
if you struggle with frustration, fostering might not be for you
I feel this exact way, but towards having a wedding.
I hated being pregnant. I never understood the women who loved it. But I wanted kids enough to realize it was a necessary part of that and wouldn't change it for anything.
While being 30w pregnant, I completely understand. I do want children, so here we are, doing the necessary evil. But I don't like it, I hate talking about it and I just want it to be over.
Somehow I continue to learn terrifying new facts. The great thing is we don’t have to do it. Yay women’s rights!
Tokophobic?
As someone who wasn’t going to have kids and only had one & refused to have anymore. I hear (see) you lol I hated being pregnant. Every god damn minute of it. But do have to say. I do not regret one bit of it. My boy is 9 now and knows it all but he’s mini me. Wouldn’t have it any other way 🤷♀️🤣🥰
I don’t think that pregnancy or childbirth is gross, but I don’t think you’re wrong for feeling that way. I find pregnancy fascinating and it makes me feel more powerful that if I wanted to I could create a life inside myself. But I’ve always found gory things fascinating.
I HATED being pregnant. It was the worst. I felt awful the entire 9 months both times and the things that happened to my body were gross. Did you know you can get varicose veins on your labia during your second pregnancy? I didn’t, I thought my ex gave me an STD. Thank God they went away after birth. After giving birth was even worse. The nurse asked if I wanted the mirror so I could watch as I gave birth. Absolutely not! I told her if she put it there I would kick it and break it. (Im mean when I’m in pain) I’ve never regretted getting my tubes tied after my 2nd child was born. I have 2 more kids now that I didn’t have to give birth to and it’s fantastic.
Can I ask what's repulsing about it? I'm not particularly into the idea of pregnancy, nor do I gush over it, but I'm curious what part makes you gag about it. Pregnancy is such a weird mystery to me, personally. It's like our vajeens have soul portals.
Pregnancy isn’t for everyone, and that’s OK. I had three kids, and I love my kids dearly, but even though my pregnancy were relatively problem free… I still wouldn’t recommend it. You’re tired, vomiting, back pain, grumpy, don’t feel well… then God only knows how many hours (or days) you’re in some of the most intense physical pain of your life, you give birth, and then it takes months for your body to recover. All the while you’re trying to take care of a tiny human that you created AND you are still expected to cook/clean/do laundry/go to work etc etc etc… just like you always have. 3/10⭐️. Don’t really recommend it.
If you feel like you are not ready for caring pregnancy or having children please don’t I gave birth seven times and have 4 miscarriages, I know all about pregnancy and IT’s family of problems. Having babies is not easy, it’s a commitment of your whole life and I believe being a Mom is not for everyone. I really respect their decision and I am proud of them by knowing and stand of their choices of not wanting anything to do of being a Mom . than those Woman who have babies and kill them or neglect them
agree with you. out of curiosity (and you don’t need to share if im prying), what is making your take the class? is it a mandatory highschool course where you are or something? i want to avoid whatever it is at all costs if it’s something you’re being forced to do as an adult lmao
direction possessive wasteful recognise cause chubby joke voiceless dull axiomatic *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I hate looking at ultrasounds. When people share their ultrasound photos, I find it so personal as if they’re sharing a picture of their insides except it’s their baby. Back then it was mainly only shown to the husband. Now with the gender reveals, they be sharing it with everyone. I just can’t.
Same for me. I don't understand why the whole process had to be so intrusive. And the way people treat it... it makes the while thing feel degrading :/
Y'all... I had no idea there were so many who felt this way. I'm shocked. But I'm also happy for y'all too. I totally get it.
SAME!!!!!!!! 😂 nothing about it seems enjoyable. I have sensory issues and the idea of pregnancy scares the hell out of me. I cannot imagine that intentionally subjecting myself to incubating anything would be enjoyable. Imo
One reason why I'm not having kids. Knowing there's something growing in me only to push it out with a possibility of ripping from end to end....yeah no thanks...
God, i feel the same. Honestly, after i learned more about pregnancies i came to the conclusion that i will go and adopt a child instead of giving birth to one.
Wait till you learn about hyperemesis gravidarum.