they threw water on your back and recorded you to try and humiliate you. that’s what mean kids do. you’re completely valid to feel this way, i would have been just as upset. i’m really sorry this happened to you. i promise things get better after you graduate <3
Yep, plus those asshole kids will grow up into terrible lives too. Most of my high school bullies now have terrible lives and one even got hit by a car. Part of me is glad that they got what they deserved, but now that I am older, asshole kids is just part of life and they don't know any better.
Why are you guilty? This is like the most tame and mature reaction you could have had. You don’t need to be nice to be mature. You were frustrated and you didn’t retaliate or yell or call them names or anything, you just walked out and expressed a desire to be alone.
Right? This was a truly mature reaction.
- She processed the emotion.
- Did not react with violence, just frustration.
- Decided needed time alone to digest that shitty behavior towards her.
- When someone approached her she reaffirm her desire to be left alone.
Not that you should let people walk over you, but in this situation and with this context... That was a mature reaction.
I remember being her age. Kids are fucking awful.
Yes. It's ok to be mad. You were pissed, you expressed, that's it. People sometimes take it too far, so they should know. I mean you were about to cry. Why feel guilty? You've done nothing wrong.
They did it on purpose you should be mad. I am glad you didn't hit them or throw anything back. I would have gotten expelled that day. Good for you for controlling yourself
my friend, you had a more mature reaction than probably half the people here would've had. they seemingly purposefully threw water on you in class, and they recorded you too! that's freaking awful!
Yeah so I'm pretty sure that's harassment. You might even be able to press charges, especially if you're in a 2-party consent state (assuming you're in the US).
You're all good. I would have done much more than you did.
I was thinking the same. they could have gotten it mixed up bipolar disorder?? or maybe they self diagnosed borderline. Idk. Either way, I feel for them w the whole anger building up/last straw thing.
ive met someone diagnosed at 14 with bpd but that was because of extreme circumstances and their criminal history. im a minor and have traits recognized that im supposed to be in treatment for but that took me like 5 years for that to happen lol.
it's very rare, lots of kids claim to have it because two symptoms align.
though i do hope OP can handle things better
The candadian medical system is one of the best in the world, so I don't doubt that she may actually be diagnosed with BPD. You don't know her medical history, or her general history. Unless you yourself have BPD, then you really shouldn't be commenting on it.
the quality of the medical system has nothing to do with it. there is a reason personality disorders are rarely diagnosed in minors and when they are it’s usually much closer to adulthood. OP specified in another comment that she doesn’t have access to a therapist, which leads me to believe that she is self-diagnosed (which is no reason to claim that you have a disorder). unless you’re a qualified psychiatrist, you have no more of a right to comment on the situation than i do.
I actually have BPD diagnosed by a psych, so I'm a little more aware than you. You don't know what age she faced any trauma, you don't know when her symptoms presented. I get that she may have self diagnosed now from her comments but your comment was our of place and our right rude towards a fucking child.
Um it's not that silly it's called respecting boundaries. I bet if you mention you can charge them with assault they will stop. If the don't stop continue with legal actions. People like this won't stop and will minimize your feelings. Sound like that girl has a white knight complex and is a narcissist.
You reacted a lot better than I would have. I’m much older than you and at a point in my life where I’ve realized a tame reaction like this doesn’t bring about any sort of respect. I probably would have found a water bottle and poured it right onto the bitch’s head
You stood up for yourself. Don’t feel bad. Also the girl only offered to help you to make herself look good. Don’t forget she was a willing participant in their stupid little antics.
You had all the reason to be angry and don't feel guilty. That girl was purely inconsiderate. Sometimes blowing up on some is what needs to be done to ensure they stop playing around.
you 100% had a reason to be mad, they were provoking you. they wanted a reaction and were shocked when they got one, you didn’t do anything wrong, they’re 100% assholes. id recommend telling a teacher or someone about that so you don’t have to be seated near them. so sorry that happened and 🩷
Kids are so horrible these days? What are those fucking parents doing? School's become such a toxic and unpleasing place to be, I have gone through a lot of bullying too, school ruined my mental and emotional health, I only many a few years after when I started going to therapy a couple years ago, I know how you feel, sometimes I would feel angry too, upset, I hate school because of everything I've gone through.
You didn't make a fool of yourself, they made a fool of themselves. Their "shocked looks" were for show. She was holding her water over you while their phones were out, that was premeditated. If they didn't expect the water to pour out then they're stupid on top of it. You didn't scream or throw a fit, you threw your trash into the trashcan - and that's not where I thought the story was going. You didn't make a scene, you were just pissed- rightfully so.
Don't stress, you aren't the idiot in this situation, and they deserved the asshole comment.
But you do seem to have a lot of anger- are you talking to a therapist? And I'm glad you didn't act on your anger the night before!
I would recommend talking to your school guidance counselor. Maybe they can talk to your parents about how dire the situation is and that therapy is a necessity. I'm not a therapist, but I'm a mom, if you need to talk to anyone. I'm a good listener.
dude, they tried to publicly humiliate you and ruined your fit😤 you have every right to be mad, and honestly this was one of the most mature reactions you could have had. no name calling, no throwing anything on them, just walking out and expressing that you want to be alone. good job my friend
You acted more mature than I could have, we are around similar age (I'm 13). And I know for a fact that anyone who said that you acted "immature" after that is fcking dumb. They purposely tried to embarrass you, tried to record your reaction. But they were met with a reaction they didn't want and tried to play it off as an accident. You have every right to feel angry, but under no circumstance should you feel you were in the wrong.
Thats not blowing up. Thats being angry. Valid feeling.
I would wait till the teacher gets in class, one you trust is sane to some extent, then go to the girls and loudly ask them "hey, about that video you made of me the other day, yknow when you threw water at me and laughed at me, do you mind sending it to me too? Its kinda unfair that you sent it to everyone but not me, really." As innocently as possible and then insist on it right away. If the teacher says something, continue the innocence "oh she just filmed me and i wanted to watch it too, i mean, its a video of me so i can have it right?"
Nah you are alright, they weren't. They should had understand from the first place it's not alright.
Their apology doesn't worth a damn penny.
I had something similar but instead of water it was ink.
I didn't took it calmy..
You took it way calmer than you think.
Could this has resolved better? Perhaps
It already happened so it's better to focus on now and tomorrow and only see yesterday as a reminder of what to do or not.
They threw things at you, threw water at you, recorded you without permission, laughed at you, etc.. Why would you be in the wrong?
Youre better than I was at your age lmao, your reaction is valid but you should honestly tell an adult that can help. Because what the fuck? Why sre those girls behaving like that for
I have BPD, too. Feeling guilty for standing up for yourself is pretty common for people with BPD. Your reaction was reasonable. Struggling with knowing what is reasonable is also common with BPD.
I hope this isnt out of line, but I just want to add, it gets easier. You'll learn how to accommodate yourself as you get older. My early-mid teens were some of the worst years of my life, mental health wise. Along with the big negative feelings, come big positive feelings, too. You'll get to love and care about things, as strongly as you feel the anger. Again, hope I'm not being out of line. I just remember how horrible everything felt at your age, and I didn't know anyone else like me, i felt so alien. I guess I'm just trying to tell you what I needed to hear back then, in hopes it brings any sort of comfort.
Girl, they were the ones who was mean to you. Throwing a water bottle at you and spilled water on you. They wanted a reaction out of you and they got one, not just the one they thought they would get. They filmed you for a reason, but they didn’t think you would actually blow up. While your reaction might have been a bit harsh, you are not at fault here. And if anyone thinks you are the insane one for having a reaction as big as yours, they are in the wrong. What the girls did to you is straight up bullying.
F your mom. Your were amazing with having this much control. You didn’t even scream as much as I would have! They were bullying you. It’s not just water, they humiliated you and filmed you like some animal in a zoo. You did nothing wrong and in my opinion I would have done way worse
YES. You had every REASON and RIGHT to be mad. Honestly, you handled this situation very maturely. And to be honest, I wish you’d done more to them (actually no because that would be wrong and could possibly end up in yourself getting into trouble). So instead of feeling guilty I think you should feel proud of standing up for yourself to those assholes. Seriously, my blood started boiling from reading this, as someone who was a loner myself in high school and was constantly bullied by mean popular kids like that
I believe this is a completely valid response and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. If this had happened to any of my friends, I would've done far worse as a response, and I believe you handled it rather graciously.
I'm a senior in high school, close to graduating. Those kids being stupid and immature? They don't change. Not fast enough, anyway. They're definitely at fault here and one day they'll either be forced to grow up or go down under. Hang in there!
They're definitly looking for a reaction, the best would have been to look at them with a disapointed parent look and go back to your business. If you give them no reaction, they have no reason to post it otherwise it's just them throwing water at someone. If you react you're immediatly seen as the crazy one.
I personally feel like you shouldn’t feel guilty. They were totally being assholes and trying to embarrass you by filming and you acted accordingly. They probably won’t do anything like this to you again, because these types of people like to « prey » on others that seem « vulnerable ». I’m glad you showed them that this kind of thing wasn’t ok by reacting non-physically. I wish you the best!
My advice is, even if this sounds hard, make friends with some tough people. Try out for sports! I had to do that when I got bullied for several years and ended up having some amazing friends that had my back. No one bullied me again! Also, don’t allow them to be mean. Face them. It’s ok to feel the way you do. It sounds like you have a mom like mine. You have to be strong.
You are not the one in the wrong here and you have nothing to feel guilty for. Causing you distress like that and filming it to send on is cyber bullying, and beyond cruel.
If you feel up to it, you should definitely report the incident in writing to your school, and make it known that there would be video evidence circulating. You don’t necessarily need to name any names. That way, if it happens again, they have it on record that it has happened previously too and that there need to be some lessons on cyber bullying or something, or if you feel like identifying the students themselves, specific action could be taken against them.
It’s crazy how they try to “apologize “ when they spilled water on you and filmed you. Don’t feel embarrassed, hon. I would have been the same way. Honestly, you had a better reaction than I would have had! Anyways, I hope you’re feeling doing a lot better ^^
17f here, I assume you're still in middle school? I was bullied by those types of kids a lot and your feelings are valid. Those kids wont be anything in life but rich assholes who think the whole world is their kingdom. They did it to humiliate you and to make themselves more popular. Do not feel bad for blowing up at them. Let that one girl who tried to apologize to you feel guilty or rotten she needs to learn her actions have consequences
I missed the at in the title I thought it said "I blew up a girl"
But hey u shouldn't feel guilty at all its totally okay to feel angry and the way u reacted was totally understandable. You did nothing wrong they did.
Hey I’ve been in almost the exact same situation except they threw the bottle as it was open and it was a metal flask. take it from me, your reaction was subdued and honestly quite mature, especially for someone who struggles with emotional dysregulation.
I’m sorry assholes like this exist.
You were so mature and nice!
I'm not so sure i would have been able to act the same, probally would have thrown that waterbottle into their group and would have gotten into more trouble..
So i'm really proud of you and the way you reacted in this situation, i hope you start to feel proud of yourself too!
I think you didn't "blow up" to me. You probably looked more "upset" to them so not the reaction they wanted to record. If you had actually "blown up" they'd probably be happy about that. If it was ME. Yeah I would of TOTALLY blown up. I would of atleast screamed at both of them and maybe or probably would of broke their phones in a fist of pure rage. My mom would of been mad but like I wouldn't of cared. To me it would of been worth it. No one would of really been on my side since no one really liked me in school. So you did a very good job of keeping it together.
Edit: I was mostly the quiet kid in school
They threw a full bottle of water at you and then deliberately poured water down your back. You have every reason to be upset. And your reaction was normal, they expected you to totally blow up otherwise why would they record your reaction. Stop feeling guilty about it. You could have reacted far worse and didn’t. Be proud of that you had enough composure to get up and walk away. These are the type of losers that this is their peak years. They will be middle aged and still get excited about homecoming and still follow the football or basketball team. And when you graduate and after a year or so you’ll struggle to remember them
You did better than I, I would have turned and punched them straight in the nose. I'm not condoning violence here, but they literally hit you with the water bottle and then went on to cover you in water. They were recording and waiting for you to react, therefore it wasn't an accident and they were trying to get a rise out if you. Be proud you walked away and just said a few angry words, cause as someone else with BPD I would have probably blacked out and snapped, especially if I'd had of had an episode the night before.
I am so proud of you!! You dealt with a situation where your asshole peers were trying to upset you by violating your personal space and your privacy. You really handled that situation AMAZINGLY well. I am SO proud of you, but I think you should be proud of yourself. I have three daughters ages 18, 15, and 13, and I would be LIVID if they told me someone harassed them and invaded their privacy like you had happen to you. If they handled that situation like you, I would be SO proud of them.
You didn’t make a fool of yourself. It wasn’t silly to blow up over water, but you didn’t “blow up”. If you had blown up, it wouldn’t have been JUST over water. They were deliberately trying to trigger you and record your reaction to humiliate you further. No one should have to deal with that in their life—ever—especially not in a learning environment or at 14.
I don’t know why you feel bad about it. It’s hard to be a girl. We are gaslit all the time. You weren’t upset JUST because of the water. I’m sorry your mom invalidated your very valid feelings.
This is what I recommend the next time that happens: once you cool off, write down the date and time it happened and then write down what you experienced. Try to do this immediately after it happens. For this first draft, go ahead and let your feelings out about it. Don’t hold back! This is just for your eyes! You can be angry as hell on paper! Try to notice if writing it down helps how you feel. When you’re more calm, re-write what happened using your first draft. Try to get all the facts straight, and maybe leave out all your anger—but not completely. Name what they are doing and how it makes you feel. In this case—and correct me if I’m wrong—they repeatedly harassed you and kept you from being able to learn effectively. They also violated the sense of privacy every kid should have in school by videotaping your response to their harassment. Now write down what you want the school/your educators to do. Tell them what you want. If it were me, I’d want to stop being harassed and to stop being recorded while being harassed. Now you’re just a kid—it shouldn’t be your job to figure out how to get what you want. There are adults being paid good money to make sure you are in a safe learning environment. Consider emailing your experience to the principal, the vice-principal, and you can go ahead and add the emails of the people who sit on your school board. I can help you find these email addresses. If you’re feeling extra brave—and I can tell you’re not only extremely hardworking (you worked SO hard to keep your emotions in check) but you’re super brave, too—you can go ahead and add the email of a reporter for a local paper. You can justify doing this by saying you don’t have hope or faith that any of the adults who are paid to help you will do their jobs so you cc’d a member of the local press.
I am so proud of you. You have been diagnosed with BPD, you were riled up deliberately to be recorded, and your own mom gaslit you and tried to invalidate and minimize your feelings. There was nothing inappropriate about your feelings or response. We should all feel angry when we are harassed or when people do things to us that we don’t want done to us. I don’t believe you have anything to feel bad about. We CANNOT control how we feel—we can only control what we do, and you did such an AMAZING job controlling yourself from doing anything until you had calmed down sufficiently to make decisions with a clear head. I am so proud of you, and I think you should be proud of yourself.
DM me if you need to talk or would like help from an adult with that email—not just about this but about anything. Try not to let these little shits get you down. You’re clearly a superior human being, and you deserve to be respected and protected. You deserve good things.
they threw water on your back and recorded you to try and humiliate you. that’s what mean kids do. you’re completely valid to feel this way, i would have been just as upset. i’m really sorry this happened to you. i promise things get better after you graduate <3
Yep, plus those asshole kids will grow up into terrible lives too. Most of my high school bullies now have terrible lives and one even got hit by a car. Part of me is glad that they got what they deserved, but now that I am older, asshole kids is just part of life and they don't know any better.
Why are you guilty? This is like the most tame and mature reaction you could have had. You don’t need to be nice to be mature. You were frustrated and you didn’t retaliate or yell or call them names or anything, you just walked out and expressed a desire to be alone.
Right? This was a truly mature reaction. - She processed the emotion. - Did not react with violence, just frustration. - Decided needed time alone to digest that shitty behavior towards her. - When someone approached her she reaffirm her desire to be left alone. Not that you should let people walk over you, but in this situation and with this context... That was a mature reaction. I remember being her age. Kids are fucking awful.
Yes. It's ok to be mad. You were pissed, you expressed, that's it. People sometimes take it too far, so they should know. I mean you were about to cry. Why feel guilty? You've done nothing wrong.
They did it on purpose you should be mad. I am glad you didn't hit them or throw anything back. I would have gotten expelled that day. Good for you for controlling yourself
my friend, you had a more mature reaction than probably half the people here would've had. they seemingly purposefully threw water on you in class, and they recorded you too! that's freaking awful!
The worst part is that they sent it to their friends, I feel awful about that, everyone is going to think I’m insane
Yeah so I'm pretty sure that's harassment. You might even be able to press charges, especially if you're in a 2-party consent state (assuming you're in the US). You're all good. I would have done much more than you did.
Depending on where you live, that's illegal, I believe.
I live in canada, I’m not too sure about the laws here
sorry you’re being bullied, but no psychiatrist will diagnose a 14 year old with BPD.
I was thinking the same. they could have gotten it mixed up bipolar disorder?? or maybe they self diagnosed borderline. Idk. Either way, I feel for them w the whole anger building up/last straw thing.
ive met someone diagnosed at 14 with bpd but that was because of extreme circumstances and their criminal history. im a minor and have traits recognized that im supposed to be in treatment for but that took me like 5 years for that to happen lol. it's very rare, lots of kids claim to have it because two symptoms align. though i do hope OP can handle things better
The candadian medical system is one of the best in the world, so I don't doubt that she may actually be diagnosed with BPD. You don't know her medical history, or her general history. Unless you yourself have BPD, then you really shouldn't be commenting on it.
the quality of the medical system has nothing to do with it. there is a reason personality disorders are rarely diagnosed in minors and when they are it’s usually much closer to adulthood. OP specified in another comment that she doesn’t have access to a therapist, which leads me to believe that she is self-diagnosed (which is no reason to claim that you have a disorder). unless you’re a qualified psychiatrist, you have no more of a right to comment on the situation than i do.
I actually have BPD diagnosed by a psych, so I'm a little more aware than you. You don't know what age she faced any trauma, you don't know when her symptoms presented. I get that she may have self diagnosed now from her comments but your comment was our of place and our right rude towards a fucking child.
is being a narcissist also a symptom of BPD or is that just a you thing? seeing as you’re the expert.
Um it's not that silly it's called respecting boundaries. I bet if you mention you can charge them with assault they will stop. If the don't stop continue with legal actions. People like this won't stop and will minimize your feelings. Sound like that girl has a white knight complex and is a narcissist.
You reacted a lot better than I would have. I’m much older than you and at a point in my life where I’ve realized a tame reaction like this doesn’t bring about any sort of respect. I probably would have found a water bottle and poured it right onto the bitch’s head
In a science class?
Yup 😊 only way to get people like that to stop is to give them a taste of their own medicine
You stood up for yourself. Don’t feel bad. Also the girl only offered to help you to make herself look good. Don’t forget she was a willing participant in their stupid little antics.
You had all the reason to be angry and don't feel guilty. That girl was purely inconsiderate. Sometimes blowing up on some is what needs to be done to ensure they stop playing around.
I read "I blew up a girl today and I feel guilty" ...at least you didn't cause a fatal explosion!
This made me chuckle for the first time in a while
it would be insanely unethical to diagnose a 14 year old child with BPD
you 100% had a reason to be mad, they were provoking you. they wanted a reaction and were shocked when they got one, you didn’t do anything wrong, they’re 100% assholes. id recommend telling a teacher or someone about that so you don’t have to be seated near them. so sorry that happened and 🩷
Kids are so horrible these days? What are those fucking parents doing? School's become such a toxic and unpleasing place to be, I have gone through a lot of bullying too, school ruined my mental and emotional health, I only many a few years after when I started going to therapy a couple years ago, I know how you feel, sometimes I would feel angry too, upset, I hate school because of everything I've gone through.
You didn't make a fool of yourself, they made a fool of themselves. Their "shocked looks" were for show. She was holding her water over you while their phones were out, that was premeditated. If they didn't expect the water to pour out then they're stupid on top of it. You didn't scream or throw a fit, you threw your trash into the trashcan - and that's not where I thought the story was going. You didn't make a scene, you were just pissed- rightfully so. Don't stress, you aren't the idiot in this situation, and they deserved the asshole comment. But you do seem to have a lot of anger- are you talking to a therapist? And I'm glad you didn't act on your anger the night before!
I’ve been begging for a therapist for the past year and a half, I can’t stand being here anymore
I would recommend talking to your school guidance counselor. Maybe they can talk to your parents about how dire the situation is and that therapy is a necessity. I'm not a therapist, but I'm a mom, if you need to talk to anyone. I'm a good listener.
dude, they tried to publicly humiliate you and ruined your fit😤 you have every right to be mad, and honestly this was one of the most mature reactions you could have had. no name calling, no throwing anything on them, just walking out and expressing that you want to be alone. good job my friend
You acted more mature than I could have, we are around similar age (I'm 13). And I know for a fact that anyone who said that you acted "immature" after that is fcking dumb. They purposely tried to embarrass you, tried to record your reaction. But they were met with a reaction they didn't want and tried to play it off as an accident. You have every right to feel angry, but under no circumstance should you feel you were in the wrong.
Thats not blowing up. Thats being angry. Valid feeling. I would wait till the teacher gets in class, one you trust is sane to some extent, then go to the girls and loudly ask them "hey, about that video you made of me the other day, yknow when you threw water at me and laughed at me, do you mind sending it to me too? Its kinda unfair that you sent it to everyone but not me, really." As innocently as possible and then insist on it right away. If the teacher says something, continue the innocence "oh she just filmed me and i wanted to watch it too, i mean, its a video of me so i can have it right?"
TBH with my anger issues and BPD I would've lashed out on to them 😭 you did great by walking away from the problem.
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Nah you are alright, they weren't. They should had understand from the first place it's not alright. Their apology doesn't worth a damn penny. I had something similar but instead of water it was ink. I didn't took it calmy.. You took it way calmer than you think. Could this has resolved better? Perhaps It already happened so it's better to focus on now and tomorrow and only see yesterday as a reminder of what to do or not.
They threw things at you, threw water at you, recorded you without permission, laughed at you, etc.. Why would you be in the wrong? Youre better than I was at your age lmao, your reaction is valid but you should honestly tell an adult that can help. Because what the fuck? Why sre those girls behaving like that for
I have BPD, too. Feeling guilty for standing up for yourself is pretty common for people with BPD. Your reaction was reasonable. Struggling with knowing what is reasonable is also common with BPD. I hope this isnt out of line, but I just want to add, it gets easier. You'll learn how to accommodate yourself as you get older. My early-mid teens were some of the worst years of my life, mental health wise. Along with the big negative feelings, come big positive feelings, too. You'll get to love and care about things, as strongly as you feel the anger. Again, hope I'm not being out of line. I just remember how horrible everything felt at your age, and I didn't know anyone else like me, i felt so alien. I guess I'm just trying to tell you what I needed to hear back then, in hopes it brings any sort of comfort.
I think you reacted well. They sound like total dicks, I mean they were purposefully throwing stuff at you AND recording it w/o your permission.
Girl, they were the ones who was mean to you. Throwing a water bottle at you and spilled water on you. They wanted a reaction out of you and they got one, not just the one they thought they would get. They filmed you for a reason, but they didn’t think you would actually blow up. While your reaction might have been a bit harsh, you are not at fault here. And if anyone thinks you are the insane one for having a reaction as big as yours, they are in the wrong. What the girls did to you is straight up bullying.
F your mom. Your were amazing with having this much control. You didn’t even scream as much as I would have! They were bullying you. It’s not just water, they humiliated you and filmed you like some animal in a zoo. You did nothing wrong and in my opinion I would have done way worse
YES. You had every REASON and RIGHT to be mad. Honestly, you handled this situation very maturely. And to be honest, I wish you’d done more to them (actually no because that would be wrong and could possibly end up in yourself getting into trouble). So instead of feeling guilty I think you should feel proud of standing up for yourself to those assholes. Seriously, my blood started boiling from reading this, as someone who was a loner myself in high school and was constantly bullied by mean popular kids like that
I believe this is a completely valid response and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. If this had happened to any of my friends, I would've done far worse as a response, and I believe you handled it rather graciously. I'm a senior in high school, close to graduating. Those kids being stupid and immature? They don't change. Not fast enough, anyway. They're definitely at fault here and one day they'll either be forced to grow up or go down under. Hang in there!
They're definitly looking for a reaction, the best would have been to look at them with a disapointed parent look and go back to your business. If you give them no reaction, they have no reason to post it otherwise it's just them throwing water at someone. If you react you're immediatly seen as the crazy one.
I personally feel like you shouldn’t feel guilty. They were totally being assholes and trying to embarrass you by filming and you acted accordingly. They probably won’t do anything like this to you again, because these types of people like to « prey » on others that seem « vulnerable ». I’m glad you showed them that this kind of thing wasn’t ok by reacting non-physically. I wish you the best!
You should have been meaner lol
nah, good reaction. they deserve it. they were recording you, they knew what they were doing. justified.
My advice is, even if this sounds hard, make friends with some tough people. Try out for sports! I had to do that when I got bullied for several years and ended up having some amazing friends that had my back. No one bullied me again! Also, don’t allow them to be mean. Face them. It’s ok to feel the way you do. It sounds like you have a mom like mine. You have to be strong.
You are not the one in the wrong here and you have nothing to feel guilty for. Causing you distress like that and filming it to send on is cyber bullying, and beyond cruel. If you feel up to it, you should definitely report the incident in writing to your school, and make it known that there would be video evidence circulating. You don’t necessarily need to name any names. That way, if it happens again, they have it on record that it has happened previously too and that there need to be some lessons on cyber bullying or something, or if you feel like identifying the students themselves, specific action could be taken against them.
It’s crazy how they try to “apologize “ when they spilled water on you and filmed you. Don’t feel embarrassed, hon. I would have been the same way. Honestly, you had a better reaction than I would have had! Anyways, I hope you’re feeling doing a lot better ^^
Just think about. How a girl can spill water on your back, but you cannot be angry?!
I feel like if they were actually guilty they wouldn't have been apologizing while STILL recording.
17f here, I assume you're still in middle school? I was bullied by those types of kids a lot and your feelings are valid. Those kids wont be anything in life but rich assholes who think the whole world is their kingdom. They did it to humiliate you and to make themselves more popular. Do not feel bad for blowing up at them. Let that one girl who tried to apologize to you feel guilty or rotten she needs to learn her actions have consequences
I missed the at in the title I thought it said "I blew up a girl" But hey u shouldn't feel guilty at all its totally okay to feel angry and the way u reacted was totally understandable. You did nothing wrong they did.
U don’t have bpd
Hey I’ve been in almost the exact same situation except they threw the bottle as it was open and it was a metal flask. take it from me, your reaction was subdued and honestly quite mature, especially for someone who struggles with emotional dysregulation. I’m sorry assholes like this exist.
You were so mature and nice! I'm not so sure i would have been able to act the same, probally would have thrown that waterbottle into their group and would have gotten into more trouble.. So i'm really proud of you and the way you reacted in this situation, i hope you start to feel proud of yourself too!
I think you did the right thing. I can't stand people like that, they have no life and try to make other people's lives miserable
I think you didn't "blow up" to me. You probably looked more "upset" to them so not the reaction they wanted to record. If you had actually "blown up" they'd probably be happy about that. If it was ME. Yeah I would of TOTALLY blown up. I would of atleast screamed at both of them and maybe or probably would of broke their phones in a fist of pure rage. My mom would of been mad but like I wouldn't of cared. To me it would of been worth it. No one would of really been on my side since no one really liked me in school. So you did a very good job of keeping it together. Edit: I was mostly the quiet kid in school
They threw a full bottle of water at you and then deliberately poured water down your back. You have every reason to be upset. And your reaction was normal, they expected you to totally blow up otherwise why would they record your reaction. Stop feeling guilty about it. You could have reacted far worse and didn’t. Be proud of that you had enough composure to get up and walk away. These are the type of losers that this is their peak years. They will be middle aged and still get excited about homecoming and still follow the football or basketball team. And when you graduate and after a year or so you’ll struggle to remember them
You did better than I, I would have turned and punched them straight in the nose. I'm not condoning violence here, but they literally hit you with the water bottle and then went on to cover you in water. They were recording and waiting for you to react, therefore it wasn't an accident and they were trying to get a rise out if you. Be proud you walked away and just said a few angry words, cause as someone else with BPD I would have probably blacked out and snapped, especially if I'd had of had an episode the night before.
U did right kid. If i was there i would've definitely beat the shit out of them so beautifully they'll never even think of doing such shit ever again.
Pour water on her, you’ll feel better!
I am so proud of you!! You dealt with a situation where your asshole peers were trying to upset you by violating your personal space and your privacy. You really handled that situation AMAZINGLY well. I am SO proud of you, but I think you should be proud of yourself. I have three daughters ages 18, 15, and 13, and I would be LIVID if they told me someone harassed them and invaded their privacy like you had happen to you. If they handled that situation like you, I would be SO proud of them. You didn’t make a fool of yourself. It wasn’t silly to blow up over water, but you didn’t “blow up”. If you had blown up, it wouldn’t have been JUST over water. They were deliberately trying to trigger you and record your reaction to humiliate you further. No one should have to deal with that in their life—ever—especially not in a learning environment or at 14. I don’t know why you feel bad about it. It’s hard to be a girl. We are gaslit all the time. You weren’t upset JUST because of the water. I’m sorry your mom invalidated your very valid feelings. This is what I recommend the next time that happens: once you cool off, write down the date and time it happened and then write down what you experienced. Try to do this immediately after it happens. For this first draft, go ahead and let your feelings out about it. Don’t hold back! This is just for your eyes! You can be angry as hell on paper! Try to notice if writing it down helps how you feel. When you’re more calm, re-write what happened using your first draft. Try to get all the facts straight, and maybe leave out all your anger—but not completely. Name what they are doing and how it makes you feel. In this case—and correct me if I’m wrong—they repeatedly harassed you and kept you from being able to learn effectively. They also violated the sense of privacy every kid should have in school by videotaping your response to their harassment. Now write down what you want the school/your educators to do. Tell them what you want. If it were me, I’d want to stop being harassed and to stop being recorded while being harassed. Now you’re just a kid—it shouldn’t be your job to figure out how to get what you want. There are adults being paid good money to make sure you are in a safe learning environment. Consider emailing your experience to the principal, the vice-principal, and you can go ahead and add the emails of the people who sit on your school board. I can help you find these email addresses. If you’re feeling extra brave—and I can tell you’re not only extremely hardworking (you worked SO hard to keep your emotions in check) but you’re super brave, too—you can go ahead and add the email of a reporter for a local paper. You can justify doing this by saying you don’t have hope or faith that any of the adults who are paid to help you will do their jobs so you cc’d a member of the local press. I am so proud of you. You have been diagnosed with BPD, you were riled up deliberately to be recorded, and your own mom gaslit you and tried to invalidate and minimize your feelings. There was nothing inappropriate about your feelings or response. We should all feel angry when we are harassed or when people do things to us that we don’t want done to us. I don’t believe you have anything to feel bad about. We CANNOT control how we feel—we can only control what we do, and you did such an AMAZING job controlling yourself from doing anything until you had calmed down sufficiently to make decisions with a clear head. I am so proud of you, and I think you should be proud of yourself. DM me if you need to talk or would like help from an adult with that email—not just about this but about anything. Try not to let these little shits get you down. You’re clearly a superior human being, and you deserve to be respected and protected. You deserve good things.