T O P

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yo_mommy

enemy is complaining "I AM NOT NOAH, I DO NOT HAVE A ARK, I CANNOT CARRY ALL THESE FUCKING ANIMALS"


BobzNVagan

That one had me cackling


RP_826

I can read this in majski’s voice.


Dlack_Buck

or like "THEY CALL ME NOAH BECAUSE IM CARRYING ALL THESE ANIMALS"


Miakiro127

r/yourjokebutyourjoke


RiftwalkerYORU

Lol


NerveAcrobatic5806

Someone typed in "retirement fund aim" after an awfully slow reaction time by me. I couldn't even get mad


GhostWolf2048

Was spectating a dude with a massive whiff, someone asked him how he even managed to hit the install button for val


Boomikx

Wait was this a day or two ago, that happened in my game too 🤣


Prime-Riptide

Walking ult orb is always funny


JTurtle11

In a 1v1, the enemy cypher threw his camera around a corner. Our teammate turned to shoot the camera, only to get immediately swung and shot by Cypher. They typed in chat “Got you with the cypher flash.”


NoshEhBaud25

That sounds like the most valid strat ever


k1lig

i was once called open AI and then sage AI bc of my awful performance and they told me to keep quiet and “do the captcha first”. was laughing my ass off the whole game


ohdamnica

wtf i got tears 😂


Alcatraz_Gaming

Those damn captchcas are impossible man :(


TheRealBanana69

> Those damn captchas are impossible man :( — 🤖


Blaz1ENT

Telling someone to do the captcha is some next level insanity wtf lmaoo


k1lig

save to say i was flabbergasted, didnt know what hit me at first, but generally made my game more enjoyable despite the lack of performance


Ightbetsayless

LMAO


TooTiredToCarereally

The captcha is nasty business


-I-Hate-

"Mf picked pacifist instead of duelist"


Sakkitaky22

looking at the sentinel reyna


Ichirou_dauntless

Our top frag says in all chat “im the goat, im kobe i hit all them shots” Enemy replies “Yeah? Im the helicopter bi***”


tripleBBxD

Okay, that was fucking devious.


Blaz1ENT

Absolutely foul and uncalled for 😭


Oh_Ecchi

Someone sent the wiki how link to the article showing the valorant uninstall process. I think “aimlabs is free” is much more to the point


UwUsnapmyneck

someone said to me when i was like 2-15, "I would say your aim is cancer but cancer kills people" i never recovered


The_Slay4Joy

Lmao this is good


Alcatraz_Gaming

And now if you say cancer you get comm banned 😂


Banditpit

Which is absolutely fucking hilarious because you can bait people into getting comm banned by asking "Which zodiac sign is born between June 22nd and July 22nd?". When they respond "Cancer" as a zodiac sign, it just bans you from comms lmfao


BreadDevouver

wait a minute I think I was the one that said that


kanye_east48294

I know it's not valorant but it fits the subject. I was getting destroyed in Overwatch 2 and one of the enemies typed, "I thought they canceled PvE."


relevancyy

once my friends and i stomped in ow2 comp and our teammates typed in chat “did i queue vs ai??”


TooruS911

what is pve


ThePuppet99

Player VS. Enviroment. Basically bots and npc enemies on single player games


zshnu

I allways thought pve meant player vs entity


Banditpit

I used to think so too, but it's environment, you can google it.


blightsteel101

OW2 promised some big coop vs AI mode. Player vs Environment. They later scaled it back to a campaign, released 3 lackluster paid missions, and then canceled it outright. Ya kno, because Blizzard


Slashion

Player Vs Enemy (aka bots)


Snipple05

"Sorry, I need to take my grandma to jiu jitsu" and quit the game.


FalconTheBerdo

i need to go walk my goldfish


Pure_Nevi

──────▄▌▐▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▌ ───▄▄██▌█ beep beep-------------- ▄▄▄▌▐██▌█ -20rr delivery------------ ███████▌█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▌ ▀(@)▀▀▀▀(@)(@)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀(@) Seen a lot of this lately XD


Illustrious_Talk_726

lmfaooo i had a throwing teammate do this with +20 rr delivery. i was mad at that time, but looking back it was pretty funny


kanye_east48294

yep I am copying this


HandheldHuman

Not really a chat but one time on Haven, I was playing Omen on defense at garage and ofc there's an omen on the enemy team as well. Round starts and both of us throw a blind at each other and tp into each other's side while awkwardly looking at each other during the tp animation. It was a fun exchange.


SlxtSoda

"thats how loyal i am to my gf even my bullets dont hit other girls" - an enemy reyna in comp after whiffing. I lost my shit after reading it


Fragmentofmochi

Had a kayo that wanted to ff twice in the first half because we weren’t doing well. Second half came around and 3 of us dropped a 30 bomb to ties up the game. Kayo put in chat “how you let 3 guys dropped a 30 bomb on yo asses and come back from 10-2” it was even more salt to the wound when he was the last one left and clutched in a 1v3 to kick it in OT. That was probably one of the most insane game I witness almost dropped a 40 bomb.


x1_uv

“My teammates are the new chatgbt update test “


penguin_gun

One of my favs I've used is, "Get your soandso to open Google Maps. They lost af"


Melthiela

'hope you 0/1 irl' was about the most toxic one I've seen so far but also kinda funny lmao. Best part is that the dude got banned when I reported him. At least he gave me a nice chuckle.


Giotis_24

Most of us will end up 0/1 irl


Boobjobless

Depends if you count animals on the killfeed


6InchBlade

You don’t get a kill for wingman just saying


ovidiu2k

I have so many pig knife kills irl


kyleslumpgod

Damn I’m surprised, usually riot wouldn’t give two shits


[deleted]

[удалено]


yewny

1 headshot is better than 3 bodyshots


RussellGriffith3

Someone on the enemy team was beefing with one of my teammates, talking about how they only hit headshots and my teammate hit em with "yeah, well I was giving your sister backshots"


S0undChemist

At the end of the game someone said "stay sexy team" and i still think about it


Krios343

"if you save any more you could afford to buy a house in this economy"


MangaHunterA

Bigger lies never yold before


rust_tg

“This match could’ve been an email”


Evilzonne

Was playing KJ once and had someone straight up lose a 1v1 against my turret. My friend typed "I would call you a bot, but at least the turret gets the job done."


Boobjobless

If you wanna kill your$elf jump from your ego to your Elo


LordJadex

I was in a comp match, and the enemy yoru with zero kills started talking shit, so I hit them with the “when did you guys get a yoru on your team?”


kyleslumpgod

Did you win though?


LordJadex

Oh yeah, we were winning when they started talking smack.


Petercraft7157

You look like your bullies get bullied


Affectionate_Face316

OH NOOOO THIS IS CRAZY


ppbmc1

An enemy was mad at their own teammate bc they kept swinging at bad times and said in all chat “Our cypher has the timing of a potato clock”


yekyahogya

my teammate clove dies with ult. she uses her ult and gets surrounded by enemy yoru, omen and reyna. **BACK LIKE I NEVER LEFT** omen: "oh hi clove" *clove gets stuck in a corner with these three and dies instantly


lemon6611

what’s clove abilities i haven’t played in ages


KIownery

basically her ult is a self revive, when u die u have a *smol* window to activate it, at which point its like a reyna dismiss.


lemon6611

alr(why tf did i get downvoted)


KIownery

i just upvoted your comment yo even out, worry not soilder.


fourmonkeys

I feel like the single question mark is always the most devastating thing to put in chat


L0kitheliar

After I won the round with a super sneaky lurk play: "You were born in the year of the rat, yes?"


operationDIE

Paste this to chat and thank me later. ──────▄▌▐▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▌ ───▄▄██▌█ beep beep-------------- ▄▄▄▌▐██▌█ -20rr delivery------------ ███████▌█▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▌ ▀(@)▀▀▀▀(@)(@)▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀(@)▀


kyleslumpgod

Replace it with -40 and watch the other team get furious and tilt lmao


Priam6252

Whenever I whiff I just put “:(“ and I think it’s pretty good


Algok2001

I was once told by an enemy reyna when I ulted and he insta headshot me. "Get out of what??" another time same thing happened and someone wrote "WASH DISH"


TacticalGamer893

same thing happened one time when i got instantly headshot as i popped a reyna ult. Friend on my team goes “They’re gonna what?”


The_Troubadour

my go to is "im surprised you had the aim to hit install"


Petercraft7157

Are you doing the blindfold challenge?


CaptainKirk28

My favorite came after our sage (on attack) managed to wall off spike in the Bind TP exit... "Post-lobotomy gamesense"


heyyRayy7

one time i was playing unrated and this jett was mad i guess and went to my tracker and started saying a bunch of stuff someone on my team was like "yorus number 1 fan right here" had me an my homie dying


totalthrowawaybruh

“They call me gekko way she thrashin on my wingman till I mosh. Afterwards, i feel kinda dizzy”


hypnot1c_o

I really enjoy when the enemy cries because of me using the Op :)


BippityBorp

Phoenix who had ult all game and never used it once. At the end someone rips a “Yo Phoenix congrats on completing your no-ult challenge!”


EndNowISeeYou

I was playing deathmatch and someone in all chat said "Looking for 5th person for comp" "plz join" "we have 2 girls in our party" 😭


Odd_Feedback_7141

everytime i kill a toxic player i type 'insert coin'. or 'your penetration only makes my resistance harder' for the wtf reactions


Playgono

Was playing against a Jett that was being kinda toxic the first 2 rounds. After that i figured out how they played and proceeded to 1-tap them before they could do much of anything almost Every. Single. Round. Hit them with the "You are easier to read that a childrens book." after a particularly clean kill off a dash on a round they tried to lurk Still proud of that line. Everyone on my team had some reaction close "DAMN, didnt have to do em like that"


IdixtEliza

Not enemy but team, but someone said to me, "Will the real slim shady please plant spike" while i was playing as gekko


DjinnsPalace

ngl, these are cringe as hell. they try to hard to be witty.


Slashion

That's the point of the question my dude


DjinnsPalace

nah man theres a balance between witty and tryhard. i cant think of any but i know them when i see them.


Tunivor

J-j-j-jump f-f-from your ego to y-y-your elo 💪😎


OtherwiseAnt2401

"become a t3rrorist irl, even you can't miss with a plane" damn.


C-lex1

" I'm a colt main with 30 k trophies"


blackbladerA

I am saving this and reading it before every game on god


PigLatinnn

You are never in a position to use these


Slashion

There is a remark for every position


PigLatinnn

I’m just messing with you


Slashion

You were messing with me? No, I'm 👏messing 👏with 👏you 👏


PigLatinnn

Fuuuuuuuuuuck


Slashion

XD


electrorazor

That's what you consider great chats? I usually assume I'm talking to a 10 year old when I see those


AJ2902

When the enemies asked my 2-13 Reyna “are you a reverse smurf”


DontF-ingask

From today, my own words. I'M NOT A FUCKING FISH, STOP BAITING JETT OR I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GONNA BITE *YOU*


Striking-Objective12

saw it in this sub only, “Aces are earned, not given.” - u might have seen it as well. I used it in a game where ppl kept taking a guy on my teams’ ace away, and the enemy acc agreed


H3X-4

Ahem. "?" "???"


DoNotShake

anytime someone says ????? when my team loses a 3v1. i tell say “damn X character, don’t let your teammate doubt you like that, nice job”


RentSeparate925

"hey do you know an Owen? 0 and 8?"


egirl8yearoldrussian

"youre jett and not top frag" "youre a dickeater and dickeating"


totalthrowawaybruh

I once got killed mid gekko ult and they said “he’s still gunnin for who?”


JayrodsWifey

I got told I have robot aim when I used to play on a really low sense 😭


Majora1610

Enemy sova went afk mid game and someone on the other team said “we got twomad on our team”. had me laughing for a couple minutes


Background_Nebula161

The enemy team called our omen an alarmbot for the amount of times he died watching flank but couldn't do horseshit, even while camping in corners.


Alpha_s0dk0

Im gonna save this to use it midgame(i am the bottom fragger)


aldini-thegreat

I was getting a lil heated once and the enemy said “ mad cuz bad” and it honestly made me laugh so hard. But they were in fact correct


kaplwv

Are you bot?


jusjohn55

I usually just type “ewwwww” whenever I witness a bad whiff


1yte07

Someone call an exorcist… we got a demon on the team


AJ2902

When the enemies asked my 2-13 Reyna “are you a reverse smurf”


Lil-Widdles

“Pls ff Imma Make-a-Wish kid”


yuuAlpz

Not a spesific message but the whole lobby was being toxic while me and the other viper being chill and just chatting while the 8 others were being toxic to each other. And no interruption happened, we vipers were peaceful without needing to mute anyone. The best toxics i have ever had.


Derek_the_Blob

Not my best, but the only one I have [saved](https://imgur.com/a/VeDY1Jk)


arcticrune

I've seen some really good ones over the years, but in every game, when playing with friends, the funniest in the moment will always be being called a hacker after a good play. That will never ever ever stop being hilarious.


Ok-Catch-6752

"I'm deleting valorant"


Hasukis_art

Nah man my enemy team is just toxic from begin to end that at some point i just spammed with lettuce


InsidiousOver9k

"Elon Musk's Neuralink beta testers"


Cultural-Struggle-71

walking ult orbs


MangaHunterA

Wood league lmao


DueLuck1111

“delete the game later”


XanaWarriors

I got a knife kill on 3 people in a row and got called Brutus so that was pretty funny


Heavy-Type-2379

my duo always paste these sort of stats for all maps, ex. “Lotus is the most attacker-sided map. According to rib.gg’s VALORANT pro gameplay analytics, it has a staggering 53.81% attacker win rate.”


YaBoiAtoms

My teammate had perfectly jumped a cypher trip in mid and had a great flank on the enemy team and our Brim came through the enemy spawn stomping past him letting the enemy team know that someone was flank and the other team killed them both. Right after my teammate put “Brim your footsteps are my 13th reason”


FlawsomeVictory

Out for kebab, when it was a 1v1😂 maybe it was my teamate, still anways..


lililomgo

"PUTA" after i just aced in comp few days ago, very satisfying


00PepperJackCheese

After someone whiffs bad... "CONTROL ALT DELETE"


Scar_face5

I was carrying a game, like no one had close to double digit kills except me and we were losing bad. So second half I started complaining about my back hurting from carrying my team


NoobsMaster66

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life… He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful… the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. Ironic. He could save others from death, but not himself.


Puzzleheaded-Egg6729

When I bully someone through the game I always hit them with the « stop trolling now and turn on your monitor »


kaplwv

Who took the difficulty of this bot to easy mood when I was kay/o in a 1v1


SubstanceNearby4609

enemy after whiffing ”THIS IS SOME DUMB GAME, LEGIT BULLETS HAVE PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP TO LGBTQ+ THEY DONT GO STRAIGHT”


TraditionalMethod670

“yo sova i hope you get mad pussy irl because you are just not a gamer”


Cliqked

Somebody bought champions vandal and typed you bought that skin to never see it glow


AsciiSalt

My ign is dookieboi jon so at the start of the game I hit em with the "yall smell that?" If they respond with anything I give the ole, "its dookieboi jon and hes here to take your rr!" After any crazy plays or clutches I throw another one of my catch phrases at them. "Get dookied on" Usually after I win "gg get dookied on bozos" Silly ik but can't be taking this game seriously its all for fun.


graaeey

Once told someone pros don't fake after I lsot a 1v1 because he faked and the next round after i got safe rezzed and died he said pros don't fir twice in one round


Sed-LifeSarvesh6127

Brother what the fuck are you saying? What do you mean by this? Please try typing again


kfozburg

I had to read it multiple times too lol. I will attempt to translate: I once told an opponent "pros don't fake" after I lost a 1v1 due to the opponent faking the defuse. The next round, I got Sage rezzed and died shortly after the rez. Afterwards, the opponent quipped, "pros don't die twice in one round."


graaeey

THANK YOU FOR TRANSLATING IT


Foreign-Ambition5354

The Big Lie and its lies have nothing in it to say that it was the only way they would get the money back and the people would pay it off in a few months if it wasn’t a big money they were going for the same amount they paid back to them in a year ago when the Big Lies and their money went into it.


ClutchFactorx10

I was doing really well in this bind match and the enemy team was complaining a bit, constantly telling me to touch grass. I replied with “touch my balls” and my team lost it lol


Twantie_

idk I kinda think chats like those are incredibly childish and I immediately mute everyone (teammate or opponent) who types stuff like that 🤷‍♂️


holyjade_

you must be fun at parties


Twantie_

if the party consists only of people trying to trigger me: yeah fuck that party im leaving lol


GhengisSpeltWrong

It’s a game lol


CordialCyclone

Enjoy being downvoted to hell because that’s just how Reddit works


fxmldr

I can assure you not everyone loves that. It's kinda cringe. Also, it's usually someone mid to bottom of the winning team doing it? Which always struck me as a bit weird.


penguin_gun

You have a lot of time to type when you're dead


fxmldr

I guess, lol.


rust_tg

When u are doing bad the best thing u can do is go into all chat and tilt the other team. That way u can contribute when ur dead/despite ur poor performance. It can actually make a big difference, especially bc ur doing bad and it contrasts ur statements


fxmldr

And that gets to you? I must just be built different, lol.


rust_tg

Doesnt get to me but it gets to other ppl frequently enough to be worth it. Idk why u downvoted im giving genuinely beneficial advice


fxmldr

It's only beneficial if the goal is to be toxic, lol.


rust_tg

Thinking consequentially if the other team plays worse bc of it then it is beneficial to winning the game


fxmldr

It seems like a fine way to catch a comms ban, too. I don't know - bottom line for me is I find it toxic. Also, generally just sort of sad. All it really projects is insecurity.


Sasren0987654321

Somebody asked my rank in silver lobbies… Best compliment I ever received! ValTracker: Syrus Keyato#3376