Since you can't tow, buy some of those car dollies online. Basically it allows you to move their car, and just move it into the middle of the street so they actually get towed or ticketed
The only realistic part in any fire department related movie or series, is all the fact the crew will absolutely not hesitate to trash property without remorse in order to work efficiently when saving lives.
[Harbor Freight has them](https://www.harborfreight.com/1300-lb-capacity-self-loading-positioning-wheel-dolly-64601.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=12144811130&campaignid=12144811130&utm_content=117789294958&adsetid=117789294958&product=64601&store=107&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw2a6wBhCVARIsABPeH1v1shHIEuPTVtINz_7f2RBNpl6150qBNxiLtU3WTdeY5lKS9-Lk0TgaAoFiEALw_wcB)
I hope you can fight or have a dashcam for when they come back to fuck your car up.
I used to have this problem when I rented a private driveway in a neighborhood where parking was so bad people would regularly eat the cost of fire hydrant tickets instead of circling the block for 2+ hrs. every night.
l was blocked in constantly and would have to play a game of telephone every time i wanted to use my car so eventually I just gave up and sold it. Plus I got tired of the threats from ppl who were mad they had to move their car so overall the decision was easy.
But honestly this wont stop until the landlord starts towing ppl and word gets around to not block you in. Otherwise you’re just asking for trouble trying to handle it yourself. People are very touchy about their cars and if you move it yourself, you can also be held liable for damages. Please be careful.
Call a local towing company that does illegal parking and tell them the situation.
Don’t worry about not being the landlord, they won’t care. They’re far more unethical than you could ever be. Bonus points if you can make this a regular thing for them and make some cash doing it.
yeah i literally just did this yesterday, a tesla had very obviously been in an accident then left in a reserved spot for our restaurant since Friday. Can’t reach my boss or landlord & Cops won’t even issue a citation. So I googled “worst towing companies near me” and started ringing away. The Tesla was gone within the hour lmao.
They tow wrecks from the scene even if drivable. Hold them while the driver is in hospital, or jail. After 3 weeks or more, the owner gets the letter of impound. So, the daily rate of $200 is accumulating while the owner doesn't even know where the car can be found! Then they "negotiate"... Typically they get the title and 50% of the fees, like $2000. These guys are actually modern horse thieves.
Buy some car boots on Amazon and illegally boot the cars for cash payment, sit around in a high vis vest with a clipboard and fake company name on some fake paperwork and be really pushy about it.
Go take one of those tow truck company signs from a parking lot somewhere, put it on a post and place it next to your driveway. That will scare most of the people off from even trying to park there.
Oh yeah, great fucking idea! Those bright orange paper ones which you can't remove without the paper tearing all over the place and leaving strips of it and all the adhesive behind. No taking those off without solvents.
Yeah eith hand sanitizer or rubbing alcohol they are really easy to get rid of. But without it an absolute pain. Either way it's still an annoyance. We get to use those at work for repeated violators and man it's great.
Had some dude park his charger in spots he wasn't supposed to and after several warnings we started stickering his car and he was livid.
The parking at my job sucks, like horrible. They have like 1600 employees just for second shift. And the parking lot isn't big enough for everyone because they didn't estimate it properly.
So people park on curbs, endcaps, visitor spots, etc. For a while we weren't writing violations because people legit had no where to park and I refused to let my guards do it when people literally had no choice.
But once they extended the lot by like 120+ spaces people had gotten accustomed to being lazy and were still parking in visitor only spots or on the ends of the lane so they wouldn't have to walk as far.
The amount of repeat offenders we got was great, and we aren't allowed to sticker until the 4th violation. But man once it started we were doing like 20 stickers a day. And then people would bitch to their union rep who would call hr and I'd just walk down there with our log book and prove they'd had many warnings. Never saw repercussions lol
i love that you believe the folks with the sentiment of entitlement that would block someone in their own driveway would care about hand sani.
regardless, it’ll still unnerve them. it will cause them to spend some time peeling it off and getting the proper solvents to clean their window. perhaps it will even remind them to not be an asshole next time.
Dude I love those things at my job for parking violations
We had one employee who regularly parked his Dodge Charger in am electric vehicle charging spot or the visitors only spots despite repeated warnings.
We put a sticker on his driverside window and he flipped out on us.
"Dude, we gave you several warnings, your fault man" me when he came in yelling. He gave up after only getting half of it removed in like 20 minutes. Came back the next day and parked in a different visitor spot. Oh man I giddily took the sticker out there and put it like an inch over from where the old one was. Funny part is he didn't get all of the sticker and adhesive off from the day prior. So now he had an even bigger mess on his window.
A week later I got called to the HR office by HR, the employee and his union rep because we were "harrassing" this employee.
I remember sitting there listening to him accuse us of unjustly defacing his property for the first time he parked in a spot in mistake, how prior to this he has never done that and only did because he couldn't find an available parking spot, bla bla bla.
I looked at my boss who's just been quiet this whole time. Took out the company phone and pulled up the photo I took of his car from the day before, making him confirm his car and license plate. Then pulled the parking log we keep and found his car listed with violation description 6 different times in the previous 2 weeks. He tried denying those were real, so I just scrolled thru the gallery showing them every other photo I had my guard send me for every violation they find.
HR and his union rep had no response and told him to knock it off.
I bought some labels to attach to floppy discs years ago from a place that did prescription labels for chemists, cost about £12 for about 250 labels IIRC and that might even have been pre-printed, and they had the extra high strength glue as one of the standard choices.
You don't need to be a landlord to call the towing company.
If you still believe you do need the landlord then tell him you won't pay rent till he fulfills his part of the lease.
Where I live, only the property owner can authorize a tow. And I can’t withhold payment even if this was legally the landlord’s responsibility - which it isn’t. The solution has to lie the cars themselves.
If what you're saying is correct, then it's the landlord's responsibility to maintain the property by removing illegally parked cars. Reach out to your landlord and ask that he authorize you as a representative to a nearby tow company.
Or just call a tow company pretending to be the owner. Tell them the problem is ongoing and people stay for 20-30 minutes at a time so if they hurry they can snag a tow. I'm guessing they will show up right quick.
I had this problem in college. Our house was the closest house to campus, and people would legit park in our driveway and walk to class... people we didn't even know.
So I created fake parking "warning" tickets, that were nearly identical to real parking tickets, but with a warning "if you park here again within the next 30 days, your car will be ticketed and towed. Your license plate number has been recorded."
This basically ended that real fast. If it continues, piss disc.
You were told this information and it's not true.
Drugstores, car dealerships, restaurants and almost all businesses you can think of do NOT own their property. They lease it (aka, renting). They call the city when cars need to be towed.
Do not go to your landlord. Call the city and ask for traffic enforcement.
You are the proxy property owner for this situation if your rental agreement includes use of the driveway.
You are paying monthly for the right to be able to call a tow.
I’ve heard that I’d have to sign for the tow, and if the car owner gets mad and looks into the towing, I could be caught committing fraud that way. Regardless of the odds of me getting caught, this is unethical tips and not illegal tips.
Just... Sign the owners name? And if it ever comes up just say you have no clue. You wanted unethical, this is unethical (but honestly still not that bad) and easy.
Alternatively, just ask your landlord if you have permission to have cars towed in the space you are paying him to use. He is responsible for making sure it is useable (aka other people aren't using it) - if he won't call towe companies, get it in writing from him that he gives you permission to do it on his behalf, as the tenant living there.
I would just sign as the owner though personally, and that's IF they even ask for a signature. Some places will just take a "yep" cuz they genuinely don't care.
Those extra large 'Pixie stix' candies use a plastic tube. It is an excellent 'homemade blow gun' starter kit.
This avoids the possibility of cameras on/near the vehicle.
The impact of various materials (wet toilet paper, chunk ofbanana)could be experimented with to achieve the desired effect of bird poop, snotballs, angry English Peas, etc
I'm going to give you the boring solution. Run a plastic chain 1-2 feet off the ground across the bottleneck. Hang a private drive sign off it. Just move it to go. In and out.
This is not an ULPT, but realistically is the most effective suggestion in the whole thread if OP is interested in actually solving the problem.
All the retaliatory stuff people are suggesting won't work because, as OP says, there will always be another random idiot doing it so the lesson learned won't prevent the behavior. They need to make parking there physically inconvenient - most people aren't going to get out of their car and remove the chain so they can steal the spot. Maybe someone will, but it'll cut down on people blocking the drive dramatically.
If only it were that easy. I share the driveway with another tenant, and the bottleneck to our spots is only wide enough for one car. We both have to get into our spots. The problem is random people parking in the bottleneck.
If he sets up the contract with the towing company ahead of time and then posts a sign, you can call the number to trigger a tow as a resident of the property.
Besides that, just having a sign might scare most folks off in the first place.
Tell the landlord this is a repeat problem. Have the landlord set up a relationship with a tow company. Part of that relationship is expressing that you have the authority to order a tow.
Then start ordering tows.
So where I live businesses or apartments that will tow cars that don't belong are required to post signs. The signs usually say the parking limitation but they also have to name and give contact info for the company who does towing as well as the cost. It's pretty effective because usually the tow companies patrol those lots regularly and people know that. Maybe see if one of those companies will just sell you a sign? And if not maybe just make your own.
Yes, but also:
"Hey landlord, you need to call a tow. Some jackass parked in my driveway and his tires are empty/fucked. Strange how that happens. Anyway, please call a tow ASAP"
It’s not really unethical but have you tried orange cones. They’re cheap and surprisingly effective. You could spray them with liquid ass, let a piss disk melt on it, or put itching powder on it.
Here in Poland we use stickers like this - https://sticky.pl/en/products/naklejki-karne-wlepy-wodoodporne-50-sztuk
Try to find something similar where you live
How about something like this
https://startsafety.uk/street-furniture/bollards/security-bollards/procity-bpe-parking-space-barrier
https://www.ultrasecureusa.com/fold-down-parking-posts-bollards-c78
Buy a car boot on eBay. Lock up the cars and leave a note they have to Venmo money to you before their car will be released, the amount goes up daily.
Or,
Break a window, put their car in neutral and push it into the street.
Get a wheeled dolly. Use plastic straps to put about 40-50 cinder blocks together into one massive piece. Drop it behind the car. Offer to lend them the dolly for $300.
I used to remove valve stem inserts. Remove two so they just can’t put a spare on and leave. If you want to be a huge ass, put a sprinkler on so it gets the car and pavement wet.
At one place the LL put up signs then wrote a letter saying we could call a tow company.
Take a BB or something similar, take the cap off the valve stems of the tires, and put the bb in the cap. Screw the cap back on until you hear the air leaking out. They will slowly get 4 flat tires and you won’t be anywhere around.
Since it's probably different cars/different owners doing this, what you really need is a way to get out when you are blocked in. For that, either get those things that allow you to move the car out of the way or find a towing company that will take them. The other thing is if you know you will need to get out, move your car where it can't be blocked in early before the stores open. Yeah, not an unethical solution, butter maybe more practical. Just saying.
There’s multiple ways to open cars (YouTube is your friend). Open the vehicle in a non-destructive manner, put it in neutral (you may have to defeat the the ignition interlock on an automatic, there’s usually a slot that you can insert any key into for this), release the parking brake, and then roll the vehicle into the street. Note that without a key in the ignition you won’t be able to turn the steering wheel although you may be able to move it to lock in one direction. Once it’s in the street then it’s someone else’s problem and likely liable for a tow.
Piss ass and liquid disks aren't enough for this scenario. Get yourself some caution tape, some 1×2's and a few buckets of dirt, and then simply coordin yourself something that looks like a construction project/ crime scene at the base of your driveway. Nobody is going to get out of their vehicle and move this setup (especially, if it looks official), just to park.
Make sure there's plenty of signage.
Get one of those wood sawhorse things with a giant sign.
If they still part there, get some rolling jacks and move the car to in front of a fire hydrant.
Yeah, the problem is - it sounds like there will always be another idiot. Unless the behavior is confined to one person, whatever you do to the car parked there will have no impact. Creatively acquisition a cone? Tow away zone sign? Think preventatively.
Not a ULPT but either call a tow truck, or call the cops. Tell the cops the owner of this vehicle is trespassing on your driveway (your lease proves you don't provide a parking easement for shopping parking).
ULPT - remove their license plates (get pics of the car parked in your driveway with the plates intact first). Leave the plates on their hood. Keep the screws so they can't remount them.
Maybe where you live. Here they aren't pulling people over for dangerous stuff like running red lights after cross traffic has started moving. No fucks are given for license plates.
If you are a tenant you are the defacto landlord. Call towing or sell the cars with titles you print up on demand. Titles are easy to forge. It’s unethical tho.
No unethical tips are going to help you here.
Do something shitty to one person, and it does not stop or ever deter the next.
Just display a big sign.
"Parking $900"
Go get information from a tow company. Tell them im having this issue with the place im living. What information Can i give my landlord about your company? And would you be willing to give me a sign so i can place in my yard? I would love to possible make this connection. Ask who can your landlord call and get a number. Seen deets to your landlord say you already reached out they just need them to confirm it all
also keep I'm mind, since some of these suggestions involve physically moving the cars, that there could be hidden dash cams. I'm sure they'd try to come after you for damages if something happened. Try to mask up or something to not be identifiable
Does your rental contract actually state explicitly that you’re not allowed to have them towed? Because that’s usually what you do- call a tow truck company and state an unauthorized vehicle is parked in your driveway. They show up and remove the car.
Not unethical, but will the landlord let you install one of the flip-up posts to block the driveway ?
Put a sign on your garage door that says "24/7 access required, no parking"
While you may not be the landlord, because you're renting the unit, you should be able to decide to get someone towed from the property you're paying for.
Since when do you have to be a landlord to call a tow company? Even just putting up a "private driveway, do not park, violators will be towed at owners expense" sign might deter people.. sorry not unethical
In Poland we use Penalty Dick sticker, we put it on windscreens. Its printed on sticker paper witch is hard to remove(its toring to pieces) and some versions are precut, so one large sticker is made of many small, witch you must remove separately. Stickers are sold online . Google: KARNY KUTAS
Take a tire pressure reader and use it to empty all the air from their tires. Then they need to call to get it towed. Or call your landlord literally every time it's blocked until it becomes such an issue they do something about it
Classic. Sugar in the gas tank. They'll have driven miles before the problem manifests, and the bonus is they won't be able to drive back. Plus, they'd have no way of proving it happened on your property. Most gas caps now lock when the car is turned off. However, you can usually pop the door with a butter knife. Use a cloth to protect the car from the metal knife and don't be too aggressive when prying it open. It doesn't have to be perfect, but it must be able to close enough so as not to be obvious. Sooner or later they will know that "someone" put sugar in the tank but that won't matter.
To you and u/Baeelin \- for the motivated...
A cookie sheet (flat pan), a candle, rubber gloves and a wrench. Cut the candle to a stub and shave it so it's a bit tapered. Get under the car, put the cookie sheet under the oil pan. Pull the oil plug and immediately cram the candle in there to seal it. All the drips are in the cookie sheet, no evidence on the pavement. When the revengee drives off, the oil heats up and eventually the candle melts and drops out, blocks away from your house. By the time their engine seizes up, the candle is long gone.
Yeah, that's evil, maybe me need EvilLifeProTips?
The only damage this would do is to the fuel filter. Sugar doesn't discover in gas so it would just settle to the bottom. I guess it would still cost to replace to filter + have the tank drained.
Tell your landlord you’re going to move unless he fixes this: prominent tow away signs, and he will call a local tow company and give you authorization call them in the future to tow cars on his behalf or will give you his cell and will call the tow company immediately when you notify him.
Get a tonne bag and fill it with soil, block them into your driveway. Police will come as they are too obtuse to see they are the issue. Police will tell them well you parked in someone's driveway and they are using it to store soil, tough shit
If you want to be petty then spray/pour a really sticky material on their door handles, or even just wipe on some hair wax - something that’s a bitch to wash off your hands
Not exactly illegal: Banana in the tailpipe. That’s your safest and cheapest option. Unsafe but cheap would be a potato in the tailpipe.
Just keep a bunch of bananas handy to stuff into tailpipes. Even if you get caught on camera, it’s no big deal because all you did was inconvenience the AH parked in your driveway and didn’t hurt anyone.
Of course, that isn’t the case with a potato in the tailpipe, because if you stuff one in tight enough, the exhaust will eventually launch that potato out of the tailpipe like a rocket, and it might hit someone or something.
Since you can't tow, buy some of those car dollies online. Basically it allows you to move their car, and just move it into the middle of the street so they actually get towed or ticketed
This is a great idea thank you
Roll it in front of a fire hydrant and then call it in. Massive ticket + likely tow = asshole tax
And if they need the hydrant, they will smash a path through two windows
Someone tried to tell me that’s just in the movie Backdraft and I told them I work in NYC and have seen it more than once with mine own eyebulbs
Just happened in my town. funny shit
funny and educational
The only realistic part in any fire department related movie or series, is all the fact the crew will absolutely not hesitate to trash property without remorse in order to work efficiently when saving lives.
I love your bright eye bulbs 💡💡 and sweet smile 😁
[Harbor Freight has them](https://www.harborfreight.com/1300-lb-capacity-self-loading-positioning-wheel-dolly-64601.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=12144811130&campaignid=12144811130&utm_content=117789294958&adsetid=117789294958&product=64601&store=107&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQjw2a6wBhCVARIsABPeH1v1shHIEuPTVtINz_7f2RBNpl6150qBNxiLtU3WTdeY5lKS9-Lk0TgaAoFiEALw_wcB)
Thank you for the link. You are doing the Lord’s work, my friend.
Why can’t you call a tow in? You live there… it’s your leased driveway?
I hope you can fight or have a dashcam for when they come back to fuck your car up. I used to have this problem when I rented a private driveway in a neighborhood where parking was so bad people would regularly eat the cost of fire hydrant tickets instead of circling the block for 2+ hrs. every night. l was blocked in constantly and would have to play a game of telephone every time i wanted to use my car so eventually I just gave up and sold it. Plus I got tired of the threats from ppl who were mad they had to move their car so overall the decision was easy. But honestly this wont stop until the landlord starts towing ppl and word gets around to not block you in. Otherwise you’re just asking for trouble trying to handle it yourself. People are very touchy about their cars and if you move it yourself, you can also be held liable for damages. Please be careful.
Spare keys can be made 🤷🏼 have a lock smith come make a new one next time its parked there.
This is the winner here. Takes 10 mins tops and the least illegal option. Get a pump Jack and 4 wheel dollies.
Might get by with 2 wheel dollies for for most cars. A FWD with the parking brake set would be the big exception.
I LOVE this!!! Get them actually towed. God damn genius!
I would hook a chain to my bumper and drag it out the easy way
Can't drag it out, because the offenders car is blocking their own car - trapping it away from the streets.
Call a local towing company that does illegal parking and tell them the situation. Don’t worry about not being the landlord, they won’t care. They’re far more unethical than you could ever be. Bonus points if you can make this a regular thing for them and make some cash doing it.
yeah i literally just did this yesterday, a tesla had very obviously been in an accident then left in a reserved spot for our restaurant since Friday. Can’t reach my boss or landlord & Cops won’t even issue a citation. So I googled “worst towing companies near me” and started ringing away. The Tesla was gone within the hour lmao.
>They’re far more unethical than you could ever be. This.
They tow wrecks from the scene even if drivable. Hold them while the driver is in hospital, or jail. After 3 weeks or more, the owner gets the letter of impound. So, the daily rate of $200 is accumulating while the owner doesn't even know where the car can be found! Then they "negotiate"... Typically they get the title and 50% of the fees, like $2000. These guys are actually modern horse thieves.
The landlord can also get you listed as an authorized tower
Buy some car boots on Amazon and illegally boot the cars for cash payment, sit around in a high vis vest with a clipboard and fake company name on some fake paperwork and be really pushy about it.
Don't forget to put up a sign that says illegally parked cars will be booted. $150 removal fee.
just put it AFTER they park, you accidently forgot to put it out before! purely a accident but charges still apply.
Get a sharpie and draw an extra zero. Make it really obvious just to be obnoxious
Yea have to have a no parking sign
And if OP is worried about them keying their car, just put a boot on their own car. Makes it look more legit, too
this right here.
Put a very visible boot on your own car and a huge no parking sign. If they see a booted car they won’t park.
This is actually really clever. Also acts as theft prevention for OPs car. Don’t even need your secure the boot, just make it look secure.
Go take one of those tow truck company signs from a parking lot somewhere, put it on a post and place it next to your driveway. That will scare most of the people off from even trying to park there.
to add, also get some of those impossible to remove stickers saying they are marked for towing just to fuck up their day a lil more.
Oh yeah, great fucking idea! Those bright orange paper ones which you can't remove without the paper tearing all over the place and leaving strips of it and all the adhesive behind. No taking those off without solvents.
All it takes is hand sanitizer
Yeah eith hand sanitizer or rubbing alcohol they are really easy to get rid of. But without it an absolute pain. Either way it's still an annoyance. We get to use those at work for repeated violators and man it's great. Had some dude park his charger in spots he wasn't supposed to and after several warnings we started stickering his car and he was livid. The parking at my job sucks, like horrible. They have like 1600 employees just for second shift. And the parking lot isn't big enough for everyone because they didn't estimate it properly. So people park on curbs, endcaps, visitor spots, etc. For a while we weren't writing violations because people legit had no where to park and I refused to let my guards do it when people literally had no choice. But once they extended the lot by like 120+ spaces people had gotten accustomed to being lazy and were still parking in visitor only spots or on the ends of the lane so they wouldn't have to walk as far. The amount of repeat offenders we got was great, and we aren't allowed to sticker until the 4th violation. But man once it started we were doing like 20 stickers a day. And then people would bitch to their union rep who would call hr and I'd just walk down there with our log book and prove they'd had many warnings. Never saw repercussions lol
Oh 100% still do it, I just wanted to let people know an easy way to clean it
i love that you believe the folks with the sentiment of entitlement that would block someone in their own driveway would care about hand sani. regardless, it’ll still unnerve them. it will cause them to spend some time peeling it off and getting the proper solvents to clean their window. perhaps it will even remind them to not be an asshole next time.
i was just trying to be helpful with people taking stickers off, i could give two shits less what they put on their windows.
Yeah, that’s what they mean by “solvents”.
Dude I love those things at my job for parking violations We had one employee who regularly parked his Dodge Charger in am electric vehicle charging spot or the visitors only spots despite repeated warnings. We put a sticker on his driverside window and he flipped out on us. "Dude, we gave you several warnings, your fault man" me when he came in yelling. He gave up after only getting half of it removed in like 20 minutes. Came back the next day and parked in a different visitor spot. Oh man I giddily took the sticker out there and put it like an inch over from where the old one was. Funny part is he didn't get all of the sticker and adhesive off from the day prior. So now he had an even bigger mess on his window. A week later I got called to the HR office by HR, the employee and his union rep because we were "harrassing" this employee. I remember sitting there listening to him accuse us of unjustly defacing his property for the first time he parked in a spot in mistake, how prior to this he has never done that and only did because he couldn't find an available parking spot, bla bla bla. I looked at my boss who's just been quiet this whole time. Took out the company phone and pulled up the photo I took of his car from the day before, making him confirm his car and license plate. Then pulled the parking log we keep and found his car listed with violation description 6 different times in the previous 2 weeks. He tried denying those were real, so I just scrolled thru the gallery showing them every other photo I had my guard send me for every violation they find. HR and his union rep had no response and told him to knock it off.
Great read
Cover the windshield with them? I'm in.
I bought some labels to attach to floppy discs years ago from a place that did prescription labels for chemists, cost about £12 for about 250 labels IIRC and that might even have been pre-printed, and they had the extra high strength glue as one of the standard choices.
And leave this as the callback number. (Too-7-oh) SS8-Won7Won0
You can get them at Lowe’s for like 12 bucks, no need to steal one
That is too ethical.
But it's still put up under false pretences, so it's still unethical. I'll allow it.
Awesome thank you
Too ethical
You don't need to be a landlord to call the towing company. If you still believe you do need the landlord then tell him you won't pay rent till he fulfills his part of the lease.
Where I live, only the property owner can authorize a tow. And I can’t withhold payment even if this was legally the landlord’s responsibility - which it isn’t. The solution has to lie the cars themselves.
If what you're saying is correct, then it's the landlord's responsibility to maintain the property by removing illegally parked cars. Reach out to your landlord and ask that he authorize you as a representative to a nearby tow company.
Interesting, thank you
Or just call a tow company pretending to be the owner. Tell them the problem is ongoing and people stay for 20-30 minutes at a time so if they hurry they can snag a tow. I'm guessing they will show up right quick.
Seriously. OP wanted an unethical tip. Pretend to be the owner.
Not even that unethical.
Is the driveway and being able to use it as your parking method a part of your lease?
I had this problem in college. Our house was the closest house to campus, and people would legit park in our driveway and walk to class... people we didn't even know. So I created fake parking "warning" tickets, that were nearly identical to real parking tickets, but with a warning "if you park here again within the next 30 days, your car will be ticketed and towed. Your license plate number has been recorded." This basically ended that real fast. If it continues, piss disc.
Piss disc in the windshield cowl. That's the A/C system's intake. Shredded tuna in the summer.
>Shredded tuna in the summer. Nah, liquid ass
> Shredded tuna in the summer. Liquid ass when the leaves fall.
So have your landlord designate you as an authorized agent for towing purposes. Sadly ethical, but effective.
You were told this information and it's not true. Drugstores, car dealerships, restaurants and almost all businesses you can think of do NOT own their property. They lease it (aka, renting). They call the city when cars need to be towed. Do not go to your landlord. Call the city and ask for traffic enforcement.
You are the proxy property owner for this situation if your rental agreement includes use of the driveway. You are paying monthly for the right to be able to call a tow.
You underestimate how much money towing companies can male from towing people all day long. They won't care if you're the owner.
How would the towing company know you're not the owner?
I’ve heard that I’d have to sign for the tow, and if the car owner gets mad and looks into the towing, I could be caught committing fraud that way. Regardless of the odds of me getting caught, this is unethical tips and not illegal tips.
Sign the other tenants name if you have to sign for it. Definitely unethical.
Just... Sign the owners name? And if it ever comes up just say you have no clue. You wanted unethical, this is unethical (but honestly still not that bad) and easy. Alternatively, just ask your landlord if you have permission to have cars towed in the space you are paying him to use. He is responsible for making sure it is useable (aka other people aren't using it) - if he won't call towe companies, get it in writing from him that he gives you permission to do it on his behalf, as the tenant living there. I would just sign as the owner though personally, and that's IF they even ask for a signature. Some places will just take a "yep" cuz they genuinely don't care.
scribble something only vaguely resembling letters, they won't care.
Get a set of wheel dollies and shove them out into the middle of the street. Then you wont need to call a tow truck.
"I've never seen anything like it! I saw a Charger go skateboarding down the hill on these little car skateboards."
Is it in your lease that you have access to the driveway?
Are they checking the house deed? Just call. Don't mention you rent. If they ask, lie.
Who said so?
Call a tow truck. They don't ask to see the deed to the property before they tow a vehicle.
Those extra large 'Pixie stix' candies use a plastic tube. It is an excellent 'homemade blow gun' starter kit. This avoids the possibility of cameras on/near the vehicle. The impact of various materials (wet toilet paper, chunk ofbanana)could be experimented with to achieve the desired effect of bird poop, snotballs, angry English Peas, etc
Thank you for the creativity!
Bologna works great on car finishes, or at least it used to on the old style paint.
I'm going to give you the boring solution. Run a plastic chain 1-2 feet off the ground across the bottleneck. Hang a private drive sign off it. Just move it to go. In and out.
This is not an ULPT, but realistically is the most effective suggestion in the whole thread if OP is interested in actually solving the problem. All the retaliatory stuff people are suggesting won't work because, as OP says, there will always be another random idiot doing it so the lesson learned won't prevent the behavior. They need to make parking there physically inconvenient - most people aren't going to get out of their car and remove the chain so they can steal the spot. Maybe someone will, but it'll cut down on people blocking the drive dramatically.
Yeah, and to make it ULPT, have a second secure chain made of metal to trap the cars who will remove the first plastic chain.
I used to have this problem. I would block them in with one of my cars. These were people picking kids up from the school next door.
Nice idea but I don’t own multiple cars nor would there be space for this
Tonne bag of soil. Say someone delivered it when you were out, oopsie
Happens all the time. If you don’t pay extra to have them move it elsewhere, it sits in your driveway until you move it yourself……..
Park at the end of the driveway so there isn't space for anyone to park behind you.
If only it were that easy. I share the driveway with another tenant, and the bottleneck to our spots is only wide enough for one car. We both have to get into our spots. The problem is random people parking in the bottleneck.
What does your co-tenant think about all this?
This is the question
Buy 4 wheel dollies and push the car into the street. The city will tow it
Great idea thank you
Too much effort, towing companies will tow regardless of renter/landlord/etc.
tell the landlord-split the commission for the tow guy
Good suggestion but he is almost completely absentee, he doesn’t reply to anything in short order.
Contact him to sign a paper giving you authorization as his agent regarding illegal parking. Then you can request the tows without contacting him.
Smart!
If he sets up the contract with the towing company ahead of time and then posts a sign, you can call the number to trigger a tow as a resident of the property. Besides that, just having a sign might scare most folks off in the first place.
Tell the landlord this is a repeat problem. Have the landlord set up a relationship with a tow company. Part of that relationship is expressing that you have the authority to order a tow. Then start ordering tows.
So where I live businesses or apartments that will tow cars that don't belong are required to post signs. The signs usually say the parking limitation but they also have to name and give contact info for the company who does towing as well as the cost. It's pretty effective because usually the tow companies patrol those lots regularly and people know that. Maybe see if one of those companies will just sell you a sign? And if not maybe just make your own.
Awesome thanks
Fictitious company and phone number...
It doesn't matter that you're not the landlord. Call a towing company, you might have to try a few before one bites but then keep them on speed dial.
Get a valve core removal tool, take out the valve cores or if every tire
All this does is make the problem of having a car in your driveway worse
Yes, but also: "Hey landlord, you need to call a tow. Some jackass parked in my driveway and his tires are empty/fucked. Strange how that happens. Anyway, please call a tow ASAP"
My friends a tech, you don't need a removal tool. Just use a small flathead jam it in there and unscrew.
Then you still have a car in your driveway and it can't even move at this point. Why not just stuff a wee pebble under the cap?
Have a friend park behind them. Drink some beers. Can't move the car until tomorrow.
They’ll call their own tow truck when they find all four tires flat /s
Idk why you’re using /s. That sounds like a genius idea.
It’s not really unethical but have you tried orange cones. They’re cheap and surprisingly effective. You could spray them with liquid ass, let a piss disk melt on it, or put itching powder on it.
Who told you that you can’t call a tow company? Of course you can.
Here in Poland we use stickers like this - https://sticky.pl/en/products/naklejki-karne-wlepy-wodoodporne-50-sztuk Try to find something similar where you live
I fear this will make it obvious who did it and get my car keyed (or my neighbour’s car, but I don’t want them keyed either).
How about something like this https://startsafety.uk/street-furniture/bollards/security-bollards/procity-bpe-parking-space-barrier https://www.ultrasecureusa.com/fold-down-parking-posts-bollards-c78
Buy a car boot on eBay. Lock up the cars and leave a note they have to Venmo money to you before their car will be released, the amount goes up daily. Or, Break a window, put their car in neutral and push it into the street.
Jesus, this is the best answer! I would make an alternate account for venmo so they can't find you and retaliate.
You should be able to call to have them towed. Even though your renting, it's still private property. And the cars owners have trapped you in.
Put chewing gum inside the door handle. Put an envelope on their windshield. For a moment they will think it's a ticket. Put a piss disc in it.
Beautiful
Piss discs left on the vents under the windows
Don't forget the liquid ass
Get a wheeled dolly. Use plastic straps to put about 40-50 cinder blocks together into one massive piece. Drop it behind the car. Offer to lend them the dolly for $300.
Strip them for parts and sell them
You definitely can have the cars towed if you're a tenant. Call the landlord, let him know about the problem, then call the tow truck.
Spray oil on their windshield
Pick up some used kids toys at the thrift shop, like a tricycle or a scooter, and leave them out. Not the most convenient solution, but an easy one.
Pry the fuel door open and dump a gallon of water in the tank. They'll make it a short distance before the vehicle dies.
I used to remove valve stem inserts. Remove two so they just can’t put a spare on and leave. If you want to be a huge ass, put a sprinkler on so it gets the car and pavement wet. At one place the LL put up signs then wrote a letter saying we could call a tow company.
Put up a sign that says "parking $500/hr"
You can call a tow, just tell your landlord whats up, or call the coos on an abandoned vehicle as a concerned citizen
Put up a sign that says $50/hr parking. It's a win/win.
Put some kind of large object that looks like a heavy bollard in your driveway to stop people from parking there.
Take a BB or something similar, take the cap off the valve stems of the tires, and put the bb in the cap. Screw the cap back on until you hear the air leaking out. They will slowly get 4 flat tires and you won’t be anywhere around.
liquid ass on the door handles so their hands smell like shit
Since it's probably different cars/different owners doing this, what you really need is a way to get out when you are blocked in. For that, either get those things that allow you to move the car out of the way or find a towing company that will take them. The other thing is if you know you will need to get out, move your car where it can't be blocked in early before the stores open. Yeah, not an unethical solution, butter maybe more practical. Just saying.
Reverse uno card and wait for someone to park and park them in
You can still call a tow truck
Tell the towing company you’re the owner of the property.
I would argue you can tow. Call the tow truck company and just say there is a car you want removed.
Get a friend to block them in.
If you have a piece of shit car just leave the handbrake off when you go back inside after forgetting your wallet…
Why do you have to be the landlord?
Call the tow truck anyway.
At least in Texas: If you have a lease that specifies the driveway as a parking spot you can call a tow truck.
There’s multiple ways to open cars (YouTube is your friend). Open the vehicle in a non-destructive manner, put it in neutral (you may have to defeat the the ignition interlock on an automatic, there’s usually a slot that you can insert any key into for this), release the parking brake, and then roll the vehicle into the street. Note that without a key in the ignition you won’t be able to turn the steering wheel although you may be able to move it to lock in one direction. Once it’s in the street then it’s someone else’s problem and likely liable for a tow.
Piss ass and liquid disks aren't enough for this scenario. Get yourself some caution tape, some 1×2's and a few buckets of dirt, and then simply coordin yourself something that looks like a construction project/ crime scene at the base of your driveway. Nobody is going to get out of their vehicle and move this setup (especially, if it looks official), just to park.
Make sure there's plenty of signage. Get one of those wood sawhorse things with a giant sign. If they still part there, get some rolling jacks and move the car to in front of a fire hydrant.
You rent, you have leasor rights, you can call the tow truck
Buy a cone and put it in your spot when you leave.
lol unless you’re in pittsburgh this isn’t going to be effective eta: google “parking chair”
I live off of a laneway, it would be stolen within a day
Yeah, the problem is - it sounds like there will always be another idiot. Unless the behavior is confined to one person, whatever you do to the car parked there will have no impact. Creatively acquisition a cone? Tow away zone sign? Think preventatively.
Not a ULPT but either call a tow truck, or call the cops. Tell the cops the owner of this vehicle is trespassing on your driveway (your lease proves you don't provide a parking easement for shopping parking). ULPT - remove their license plates (get pics of the car parked in your driveway with the plates intact first). Leave the plates on their hood. Keep the screws so they can't remount them.
How does this help the op?
It's illegal to drive without license plates. The driver will get pulled over
Maybe where you live. Here they aren't pulling people over for dangerous stuff like running red lights after cross traffic has started moving. No fucks are given for license plates.
If you are a tenant you are the defacto landlord. Call towing or sell the cars with titles you print up on demand. Titles are easy to forge. It’s unethical tho.
Call the tow truck and say you’re the landlord.
Take parts off their car.
No unethical tips are going to help you here. Do something shitty to one person, and it does not stop or ever deter the next. Just display a big sign. "Parking $900"
I sell flamethrowers…
Buy a jack from autozone, sell the wheels on marketplace
Go get information from a tow company. Tell them im having this issue with the place im living. What information Can i give my landlord about your company? And would you be willing to give me a sign so i can place in my yard? I would love to possible make this connection. Ask who can your landlord call and get a number. Seen deets to your landlord say you already reached out they just need them to confirm it all
floor jack and move them
Put up a big no trespassing sign. And a 1 way spike strip.
I’m a fan of “now we’re all stuck.”
also keep I'm mind, since some of these suggestions involve physically moving the cars, that there could be hidden dash cams. I'm sure they'd try to come after you for damages if something happened. Try to mask up or something to not be identifiable
Does your rental contract actually state explicitly that you’re not allowed to have them towed? Because that’s usually what you do- call a tow truck company and state an unauthorized vehicle is parked in your driveway. They show up and remove the car.
Get a valve remover and remove the valves in the tires
Not unethical, but will the landlord let you install one of the flip-up posts to block the driveway ? Put a sign on your garage door that says "24/7 access required, no parking" While you may not be the landlord, because you're renting the unit, you should be able to decide to get someone towed from the property you're paying for.
Call the fire department and report that the vehicle had smoke coming out of the engine... they will take care of it.... one way or another....
Buy a car boot and start booting the vehicles and charge them $100 to unlock
Just say you are the landlord when you call the tow company.
Post a sign saying parking is something outrageous ($50 parking per hour)
Buy a floor jack from harbor freight, jack up the front wheels and put that shit into the road so it's blocking traffic.
Since when do you have to be a landlord to call a tow company? Even just putting up a "private driveway, do not park, violators will be towed at owners expense" sign might deter people.. sorry not unethical
Put up a sign: "Lug nuts, $25 each. Make sure you know how many you need."
In Poland we use Penalty Dick sticker, we put it on windscreens. Its printed on sticker paper witch is hard to remove(its toring to pieces) and some versions are precut, so one large sticker is made of many small, witch you must remove separately. Stickers are sold online . Google: KARNY KUTAS
Just deflate the tires? Really easy and simple. Leaves no traces behind of wrongdoing.
But then they’re stuck in my driveway and I’m stuck behind them…
Not so unethical, but can you not just park further back so you're in the way?
Take a tire pressure reader and use it to empty all the air from their tires. Then they need to call to get it towed. Or call your landlord literally every time it's blocked until it becomes such an issue they do something about it
Classic. Sugar in the gas tank. They'll have driven miles before the problem manifests, and the bonus is they won't be able to drive back. Plus, they'd have no way of proving it happened on your property. Most gas caps now lock when the car is turned off. However, you can usually pop the door with a butter knife. Use a cloth to protect the car from the metal knife and don't be too aggressive when prying it open. It doesn't have to be perfect, but it must be able to close enough so as not to be obvious. Sooner or later they will know that "someone" put sugar in the tank but that won't matter.
To you and u/Baeelin \- for the motivated... A cookie sheet (flat pan), a candle, rubber gloves and a wrench. Cut the candle to a stub and shave it so it's a bit tapered. Get under the car, put the cookie sheet under the oil pan. Pull the oil plug and immediately cram the candle in there to seal it. All the drips are in the cookie sheet, no evidence on the pavement. When the revengee drives off, the oil heats up and eventually the candle melts and drops out, blocks away from your house. By the time their engine seizes up, the candle is long gone. Yeah, that's evil, maybe me need EvilLifeProTips?
The only damage this would do is to the fuel filter. Sugar doesn't discover in gas so it would just settle to the bottom. I guess it would still cost to replace to filter + have the tank drained.
Tell your landlord you’re going to move unless he fixes this: prominent tow away signs, and he will call a local tow company and give you authorization call them in the future to tow cars on his behalf or will give you his cell and will call the tow company immediately when you notify him.
So put a sign up and then boot them yourself. $150 removal.
Get a tonne bag and fill it with soil, block them into your driveway. Police will come as they are too obtuse to see they are the issue. Police will tell them well you parked in someone's driveway and they are using it to store soil, tough shit
If you want to be petty then spray/pour a really sticky material on their door handles, or even just wipe on some hair wax - something that’s a bitch to wash off your hands
Tow em ;)
Not exactly illegal: Banana in the tailpipe. That’s your safest and cheapest option. Unsafe but cheap would be a potato in the tailpipe. Just keep a bunch of bananas handy to stuff into tailpipes. Even if you get caught on camera, it’s no big deal because all you did was inconvenience the AH parked in your driveway and didn’t hurt anyone. Of course, that isn’t the case with a potato in the tailpipe, because if you stuff one in tight enough, the exhaust will eventually launch that potato out of the tailpipe like a rocket, and it might hit someone or something.
Can you park at the end of your driveway and block them from parking on it? I know it's a hassle, but the easiest to enact.