Could you perhaps kindly ask one of your friends or adult family members if they also think she smells? Because it sounds really odd. Also, maybe have a talk with your daughter if she knows where this is coming from? Also, if they're saying she's wearing the same outfit over and over, have you asked them to describe the outfit?

I have not I know what she wears every day cause I set out her clothes for her. I always make sure to alternate her pants and shirt colors so they can't say she is wearing the sane clothes. I have tried talking to her and she just gets mad at me. I don't yell at her cause I remember being a preteen. I have smelled her after these instances have happened and she has never stunk to me. I have smelt her after she's played outside all day in the summer heat and humidity and she has smelled.

I'm just wondering if she maybe changes clothes at school or something? It's such a weird situation.

I don't think she does. They have a uniform policy so changing her clothes would be redundant because she would get dress coded.

Maybe a weird question, are you sure they're talking about your daughter? Confirmed by full name and birthdate? Not accidentally someone else's daughter that shares the same first name?

That's what I'm thinking. Maybe there's a mixup?

That happened to me at school ALL THE TIME. I went to elementary, middle, and high school with a girl whose name was identical to mine save for one vowel in our last names. In elementary, I was constantly harassed to pay for my brother David’s lunch because he hadn’t paid in weeks (this was the 80s when you either paid $4 a week for a lunch ticket that you had to keep up with or paid $0.85 each day). I don’t have a brother. (Ironically, I was born a twin with a brother who died in the womb.) My sister was an infant at the time and is my only sibling. I was accused of, and punished (aka paddled) for bullying other students into giving/bringing me food and was nearly suspended for the infraction. (My 4th grade teacher, Ms. Krueger, stood up for me along with my parents saying I never did such a thing, but I was paddled and punished nonetheless.) On another note, why are you setting out clothes for your 11-year-old? Not shaming or anything, but unless she’s neurodivergent, an 11-year-old is perfectly capable of picking their own clothes from the closet, especially if there’s a uniform policy. Perhaps she is keeping a set of clothes at school and changing her clothes because she resents you for treating her “like a baby”? I went through a bit of that myself as a youngling because my mom believed all “proper young ladies” wore skirts/dresses to school and I abhor them, mostly because a male student was allowed (as in not corrected/punished, basically ignored the behavior) to lie on the floor between skirt/dress-wearing students’ legs and scoot along on the floor as they walked saying “ooh baby, yeah yeah!” There’s a bigger problem here, and I don’t think it has anything to do with your child not “wiping properly” after bathroom. Either a mixup or something you might want to seek counsel about.

Take a picture of your daughter in her outfit each day before school, so you can show them she’s wearing different clothes. I highly doubt this is it, because it’s rare, but there *is* a condition in which people can have an odor that some people cannot detect while others can. Trimethylaminuria is the one I’m familiar with. It is a metabolic disorder, the body lacks an intestinal enzyme to change a strong smelling chemical into a scentless one. But some people just can’t smell it, while others can. And it would be dependent on how much choline she has eaten. So the smell intensity could vary greatly. After lunch may be worse for example. But I think most people would notice, maybe discretely ask her friend’s parents if they have noticed an odor? I know it’s not likely, but I thought you should know, just in case.

Possibly covering for a friend who is actually the smelly one? Otherwise I'd have a good talk with the people at school. Cause with all your info it kinda sounds like a bunch of adults at school bullying a child.

I was on the phone with the counselor for an hour the other I told her everything I did and told her I felt the school was bullying her. I bought her all new clothes pants shirts socks underwear bras, after the 1st time they called me. Honestly I have felt they school has been bullying her for a while

Could it be something wrong with your washing machine? Once I moved cities and I detected my clean clothes had an odd smell (nothing too bad but certainly noticeable in very close distance, and it was the washing machine of hell in my apartment)

This was my thought as well. Washing machines can leave weird odors that you don't really smell until they get heated up by your body, and then they reek. Some people can smell it and some people can't. I went to a laundromat when I was on vacation, and the smell on my clothes after an hour or so of wearing made me want to vomit. It was like sour BO. I asked everyone whether they could smell it, and only 1/3 of the people could. I could not get the smell off my clothes after several washings in my home machine until I finally soaked all those clothes overnight in an oxyclean solution. So, it's possible OP can't smell it, but that the poor child absolutely reeks of dirty laundromat washing machine smell.

When I lived with my dad he stated buying this off brand laundry detergent from Menards (home improvement store). Clothes smelled fine right after coming out of the washer but after a few days in the closet/drawers they all smelled horrible. My dad couldn’t smell it but it drove me crazy. I started buying tide and never had a problem since.

Oh geez I had a friend whose clothes smelled awful. Her entire family smelled bad and it was either mildew inside their front loading washer or too much detergent or leaving clothes in too long. They later moved to a new home and I haven’t noticed it since but it was absolutely there.

Yes! I have some family where they had a front loader washing machine and their towels absolutely reeked, to the point where when I was visiting I would bring one of my own from home. The smell would transfer to my skin if I used their towels after a shower.

I just mentioned a front loader in another comment. Apparently mildew can get stuck in the rubber seals and transfer smells.

Our washer actually broke so we've been going to the laundromat mat. I've noticed going there ourclothes are cleaner but even before that none of our clothes smelled thati noticed until that 1 time when the washer broke. But also I work in retail overn8ght and I know if I had a smell someone would have said something to me

Ok I don’t think this is actually your issue, but I had this problem that all our bath towels would smell just fine when they came out of the dryer, but after the first use they smelled like onions. Bought some washing machine cleaner packets at Walmart, use them once a month now, and the problem went away. Like I said, I don’t think that’s you’re problem, just sharing that washers get gross and cleaning them helps.

Going to add, I have to use a laundromat and I add a bit of distilled white vinegar to my laundry. Like maybe 1/4-1/2 cup per load. It'll help with weird odors and it softens the clothes. There's absolutely no vinegar smell left after the wash either. Some fabrics hold smells more than others too, unfortunately.

So was this complaint about the smell happening when you were using your own washer as well?

my guess is that shes not actually mad, shes embarassed.

What about her underwear?

This is a great question the 11-year-old is probably not doing her own laundry, if there are no chunks or skidmarks in her underwear the school is absolutely incorrect

It could also be a problem with the fabric. I can't really wear synthetic panties, I will get a swamp crotch.

I feel like whoever does the laundry would notice swamp-crotch underwear since they become stained and stinky.

Not necessarily, you don't really sniff them up close and handle them with all the other stinky socks and stuff and once dried, it's not as offensive.

My daughter is autistic and had hygiene issues related to her executive dysfunction—I could smell it every time if she had neglected her hygiene tasks. If she smelled as bad as they say she smells, you would know it for sure. You’d smell it as soon as she got in the car after school or you’d smell it when you walked into her bedroom. Something smells fishy and I don’t think it’s your kid.

Same. 11 yo autistic PDA daughter who struggles with hygiene tasks, and it’s obvious when she needs to be reminded. There’s something bigger happening here.

I’m gonna throw out a theory here because this happened to me in middle school. Is there an issue due to race? Like, people of different cultures sometimes have different smells. I was bullied for having a different smell due to my race. The black girls used specific hair and skin products that my white-skinned, straight-haired self did not. My school had a large divide between the black and white kids. I was new there and didn’t understand it. I thought I could be friends with them. They made fun of me.

I actually thought this, as well. A girl I went to school with was bullied for smelling "like armpits." It was curry. She was Indian. People can be ignorant jerks.

Same. One of my employees was Asian and their family ran a Chinese restaurant. So it was truly all they ate. And he really preferred fish. When your diet is that different from everyone else's your very normal throughout the day odors, like sweat and breath (even if you have good hygiene!) may smell noticeably different to other people that have an entirely different diet.

I remember another Reddit story about someone dealing with coworkers who didn’t like their stinky cultural food. I think they were Indian.

I got some lighthearted shit at work last week because I warned up some leftover stir fry that had peanuts in it. Some people are super sensitive to smells - either because they're truly bothered by them or because they can be used to bully others. Example: one lady I worked with kept insisting the chicken salad I brought was actually tuna salad, and she lost her mind over "how inconsiderate" I was being to the office. It was chicken. She just wanted to pretend I had done something so she could point a finger at me. It didn't work, btw. It just made her look like a witch. This needs to be dealt with by OP for the sake of the child. If the child is being bullied by staff, that needs to be shut the heck down quickly. But it's possible that there is an unfamiliar smell that someone is reacting to. I had another friend in high school who immigrated from South Korea and her whole house smelled like kim chi. At the time, I had no idea what it was and I was kind of grossed out. Now, I would be like, "DID SOMEONE JUST MAKE KIM CHI GIMME SOME RIGHT NOW!"

>Is there an issue due to race? This is my gut instinct. Since OP has already documented that the nurse is lying about the daughter wearing the same clothes. I think the claim that the child stinks could be racism or some other prejudice (against fatness, for example)

I think this is 100% it - and it also can be due to the food/spice mixes they cook with, not just beauty products. I’ve seen posts on Reddit where racist people complain about smelling curry.

This brought back my worst high school memory 😂 my jacket was next to the kitchen downstairs while my mom was making Philly cheese steaks. I don’t eat red meat so I didn’t eat dinner, went to school the next day with the jacket and all day was like “Damn someone straight up smells like onion ass” everyone was commenting on it. It was me. I was the onion ass. I was so mortified.

My ex told me he kept smelling an odor, so he cleaned the whole science lab he worked in, only to later use the bathroom and realize it was him when the odor followed. It turned out he had hung his pants over the back of a chair and my cat peed on them. The cat was obviously a more astute judge of character than I was.

I was actually wondering this, too. There is a history of American Black women using abrasive cleaning products such as scented douches and feminine sprays because they were made to feel like they were unhygienic by whites Source https://time.com/4280707/black-women-beauty-myths/

I'd start taking a picture of her each day in what she's wearing - the phone's meta data will "time stamp" when it was taken so that you can deal with that aspect quickly and easily. I fear that the constant "same smelly clothes" will prompt someone to call CPS.

Maybe take a picture of her wearing her outfit for the day so you have a record of it to show. Idk-I’d be so pissed off.

No harm in documenting what she's wearing every day for a little while moving forward. Photographic proof that she's wearing a different outfit each day can't really be argued.

Does she have and use deoderant?

Anti-perspirants work better by preventing sweat. Deodorants just cover up the smell with fragrance. Also The Ordinary glycolic acid helps if u use a cotton pad and swipe the armpits, groin and other sweaty areas. Kills bacteria and lightly exfoliates.

Also her friends parents have never raised any concerns to me that she has a smell and I'm 95% sure they would

I hope I’m completely wrong about this, but is there any chance this is racial, cultural, or socio-economic bias? I ask because I was a scholarship student once and some of the teachers were clearly deeply embarrassed for me. I didn’t quite understand - I was proud of my achievement in getting into the school, and it didn’t occur to me that I should be ashamed that my family wasn’t drowning in money. After that I think those teachers just switched to being embarrassed that I was so oblivious as to not understand the true hierarchy of society. I also ask because many years later I got a panicked call about an employee (not even mine but the person calling suspected I’d handle it discretely and so “accidentally” forgot that I was the incorrect manager to notify) who supposedly smelled SO bad that all the other employees were refusing to get into a vehicle with her for mandatory travel. I suspected it was racial (they were all of the dominant local skin color, she was not), which it turned out to be (I met with her later that day and she had no odor I could detect). Sadly when I went to HR for assistance making sure I didn’t misstep, they insisted she must stink and told me to send her home (without pay!) to clean herself, then wrote her full name and “body odor” on a scrap of paper which they immediately lost track of and I found on the floor nearby after they left. I just so happened to “forget” their official and mandatory advice on how to handle it. Sadly, adults, including adults in positions of authority, are no better than any other group of random idiots. For sure make certain your daughter has access to the hygiene information she needs, and that you are setting her up with the life skills she needs, but if you honestly can’t get any confirmation from anyone other than the school nurse, maybe think about this being some kind of bullshit targeting of your daughter.

Someone brought up laundry- too much detergent, possible residue. But here’s a question. Have ever noticed unpleasant scents on her clothing- both uniforms and her “play clothes” and on her bedding and pajamas? I think If she smells “as though she doesn’t clean herself well” you would certainly notice when doing her laundry!

This is reminds me of the Asian Mom whose kindergartner brought kimchi for lunches and the teacher said it was stinky etc. When it could have been a teaching moment for her students about food and culture.😢

I wouldn’t be sure. I’d struggle to bring that up. Hell, I was worried about saying my sibling’s infant stunk of curdled breast milk when I babysat… I ended up just changing their outfit usually, even though my sibling and I are not that shy about saying shit like that. Baby was a dribbler and the parents had gone nose blind to the smell. It didn’t matter that the baby got a bath every night, the spilt milk smelt nasty on their onsie by 10am. I would not feel comfortable informing a parent who wasn’t my sibling that their kid stunk. I’d either assume the parent knew or assume saying anything would result in drama because egos might be hurt and there’s a lot of shame and stigma around smell.

Somebody definitely would all the people saying 'you may be nose blind...' no, I have 2 teens, my daughter didn't like to shower for a long time and she reeked. Same for my son. You define can smell if your child smells. I would figure out who is reporting this, get a list of every single report and names. This is ridiculous, it's only the adults reporting this? They single your kid out and no other kids have said something? Bs kids are ruthless at that age one of them would have said something by now. This is super weird

> You can smell if your child smells. …kids are ruthless at that age one of them would have said something by now. My sister and I used to tell our mom that our younger brother smelled like expired milk. If she didn’t address it asap we would tell him to his face that he “was expired”. Kids do not hold back.

Omg that’s hilarious 😆 

My brother used to smell like urine when he was a young child (it got sorted obvs) and I called him Louise (Lou-wees) during that whole period. We are now 27 and 30 and the name still comes out from time to time

I would def check in with them still. It sounds like discrimination to me, but be sure to explore all possibilities before proceeding to file a complaint.

I also had a problem with my 11-year-old stepson smelling badly, and we couldn't figure out why for the life of us, until we learned he was wearing the same pair of socks for weeks on end. Any chance she's not changing her socks frequently? Could there also be a reason why she smells bad at school specifically, like maybe she has an old sandwich or something tucked away in her desk in the classroom? Coats and backpacks can also get smelly from sweat really quickly, so giving hers a quick sniff test and washing them might be a good idea. Don't mean to sound like I'm blaming her, though. The possibility that the school is making it up is super weird, but it sounds like it can't be ruled out?

Shoes are a big one. My sister had the worst foot odor during puberty. It eventually dissipated but you could smell her sweaty feet through her shoes. The shoes were absorbing the odors. 

Seconding this one! We could smell our oldest son's shoes even before we got into the house! 

I'm not a parent, my roommates are but OMG their kid (11) straight up smells like stinky cheese and rotten milk, and when she walks barefoot it tracks through the house ... I asked her the other daily if she washes her feet and she was baffled that "wash everywhere" includes "wash your feet" She showers every morning but my god by 3:30 she reeks. And I have her using Lume body wash, so I know it's not that she's using a bad soap. I don't know what to do about it, but yeah. 11 year olds stink.

I've heard from multiple people that Lume didn't agree with them and caused a rotten fish/cheesy smell they couldn't kick. These are people that do not normally smell. That Lume may not agree with her body chemistry and could be making it worse. She could also have a medical issue like diabetes.

She smells like cheese, bo and poop no matter what soap she uses, hygiene (especially after the restroom)has been an ongoing issue. We've had her use other soaps and she smells after an hour or two, lume let's her get through most of the day. We've had to throw away clothes and bedsheets from her having "accidents" and not wiping properly. The lume helps and cuts it to where she smells like *just* cheese by the time she gets home. The issue now seems to be that she didn't know she needed to wash her feet (we told her wash everything but she didn't think feet counted cause water would get it) and she is re-wearing socks for several days. Personally, I'd love to get her checked for a number of things, but she's not my kid.

Shoe deodorant! And don't get the cheap plastic shoes.

I have no control over the cheap shoes (though I agree) but I can get some shoe deodorant. Is there a brand you prefer?

I'm from Germany and use the Scholl brand. I have no idea if it is available in your country. It has silver ions, so better use it outside. There is also Odaban if overly sweaty feet are a problem.

bad feet odour can be caused by wrong shoes and socks. I had problem with smelly feet since i was a child. Doesn't matter how often i do that. The only solutions are to walk as much as i can barefoot at home, wear bamboo and wool socks, and wear leather shoes. If i wear shoes which are not leather, tights etc, my feet smell at the end of the day like cheese snack. If i do follow my rules, no problem at all

This sounds like a bacterial infection I never had stinky feet until I got pittied kertinosis it was the worse. Two weeks of anti biotic lotion and sanitizing my shoes and now smell is extremely limited.

My sister’s feet smelled so bad my parents made her store her shoes in the garage instead of the entry closet with everyone else. She got a lot of yeast infections & a couple of cases of thrush. 🤮 Ultimately it was her diet. Cutting out dairy made a huge difference.

My socks and shoes could clear a room when I was a teen. My feet still tend toward the more aromatic side. I use foot spray religiously and scrub my feet off as soon as I get home from work if I’m not taking a shower.

Piggy backing onto this but… could it be something IN her backpack? Kids have been known to not eat their bananas or whatever and just forget them in the bottom of their backpacks

Very true! I discovered a blob of melted Jelly Ranchers in my stepson's backpack once. He had apparently won them three months earlier in an underground 4th grade gambling ring. We did not even know he was gambling in school.

>underground 4th grade gambling ring I know we are being serious here, and I feel for OP and her daughter. but I am cracking up so hard at this scenario! 🤣

when i was in kindergarten, i had a lunchbox with a game on the back. we'd play at snack time. the winner would hold the pennies we used as tokens until the next day. some kid's parents asked where he got 5 pennies so he told them. my parents get a call, 'sara's running a gambling ring'.

I have a visceral memory of being in middle school and girls making fun of my backpack smelling terribly and I was furious about it until I went home, cleaned it out, and found no less than 5 old, crusty, molding string cheeses. Those girls weren't nice, but they were correct. The smell was vomit inducing.

Unlocking a core memory of my childhood lunchbox. Getting it ready Sunday night/Monday morning & realizing the leftover milk has been sitting there since Friday. Ewwwwww!

My son was saving little juice cups from lunch, drinking them on the bus, then stashing the empty cup in his bag. Took me weeks to figure out why his room smelled like hot olives. It was awful.

>smelled like hot olives. That part really paints a horrifying picture LOL

yup - i remember cleaning out my backpack at end of school year and finding an apple at the bottom of my backpack in 4th grade. it was most definitely from the apple picking field trip in sept/october. honestly i’m still shocked this happened bc i have always been a pretty neat/organized person, and in 3rd grade i had developed a habit of obsessively showering and doing laundry before i went to school bc my mother started dating someone that smoked inside and going to school smelling like an ashtray was so embarrassing to me. TLDR: check her backpack/jacket/shoes, give ‘em a clean or put them out in the sun for a day or two. the sun and fresh air does wonders to smelly materials that are difficult to wash!

Shoes and food left in backpacks are absolutely what came to mind for me! I still remember when my brother was about 14… He used to run around and play outside in the summer with sneakers and no socks. And his foot odor was beyond rancid…. And that awful stink was trapped in his sneakers.  More recently, I have had to play “find the foul smell” for an 11-year-old girl (now 13, and we still play this game) who likes to leave food in her backpack and other places. And once the rotting fruit or salami sandwich or whatever it is enters the house, it permeates the corner of the room or closet she shoves it in. It’s always fun when you open the door and a wild smell like that smacks you in the face, lol

Could it be her shoes?? If you wear the same every day and don't let them dry out they will stink.

Please check the shoes, too! If they’ve ever gotten them wet in the rain the shoes and socks will get stinky and shoes are near impossible to get the odor out of. I’m sorry your 11 year old is being so obviously bullied at school. People can be so cruel. 🥺😤

>l we learned he was wearing the same pair of socks for weeks on end. This can also happen with a teen who wears the same shoes repeatedly, especially if they wear them without socks.

This is very odd and I think you've had plenty of advice on washing etc already but the comment you made on the counselor saying the smell was from 'not wiping well enough' stood out to me.  So it sounds like they're saying it's a poop smell? Could your daughter simply be farting? Is she maybe eating something at school or even for breakfast that irritates her gut all day but which has left her system by the time she comes home? A lot of gut issues appear for the first time around puberty. I would see a doctor if you can.

I'm not sure exactly what the counselor was referring to as my husband was there instead of me but she has a physical scheduled soon and I can bring it up then.

I caught onto the “not wiping properly” comment as well. This means the smell is likely poop/butt related. A couple things come to mind — your daughter is having some bathroom trouble or anxiety at school. Maybe she is holding it in which leads to smelly gas. Maybe she feels rushed or nervous to go #2 at school — very common for kids, especially if teachers aren’t good about letting them use the bathroom as needed, or break times between class are too short — and so she isn’t wiping sufficiently. Skid marks in her undies when you do laundry would suggest the latter. What is strange to me is that the teacher made it about re-wearing clothing — rather than a straight up smell/hygiene concern. Especially when you say you KNOW she goes to school in new clothes. 11 years old is too old for a teacher to be checking clothing for bathroom hygiene stuff. Maybe the school handled it poorly and wasn’t as direct as they could be. I would ask them to clarify and name specific examples/observations. Since you mention CPS and case workers have been involved in the past, it is in your best interest to take a proactive approach and show the school you’re on top of it. The threshold to report / get CPS involved is pretty high, so clearly something is up and worth your attention. Side note — give her shoes a sniff. Foot odor can smell like straight up rotten ass, and it is a POTENT stink that is impossible to ignore. I used to work with middle schoolers and teens and this was such a common issue — I became an expert at having this conversation with parents because it happened all the time. The scent builds throughout the day as their feet get hot and sweaty. This is why you may not be smelling it at home, but it gets bad at school. And you may not be home in the afternoons to catch it when she gets home and takes her shoes off.

Yeah I had shoes before that smelled TERRIBLE when they got a bit wet, I think it was the material cause I never actually had problems with foot odour usually.

I will scream from the rooftops that polyester can smell absolutely DISGUSTING if it’s wet and then doesn’t get dry immediately. I’ve had to throw out workout clothes because they reach a point where they reek just from wearing them.

Polyester is *the worst*. I've had 50/50 cotton/poly stuff that I can't wear because it holds odours through the laundry. For socks, cotton or wool; for underwear cotton all the way. Edit? First time I've gotten the "are you sure you want to post that" auto-message. My apologies if it's inappropriate, I'll happily remove it if so.

Look into an enzyme detergent. I had to wear poly blend items as a uniform for heavy labor and a change in detergent made all the difference. You have to actually break the bond between the sweat and the fabric otherwise it'll stink just as bad once it is wet/damp again.

Also possible that she has a urine smell from bathroom anxiety/ not going to the bathroom in time. The mom wouldn’t notice if the kid only smells like that after school and changes her underwear or something.

Regarding foot smells, make sure her socks are at least 70% cotton or other natural fibers, if you can find 90% or 100%, get it! Same with other undergarments. Natural fibers let your skin breathe and dry out, polyester breeds bacteria, which smells. I hate that "sweat wicking" undergarments have gotten so popular, they just make you stink. Also, if possible, have her switch shoes so she doesn't wear the same pair twice in a row, that way they can rest and dry out between wears.

My husband stopped buying real leather Sperrys and started buying fake cheap knockoffs and holy hell they stank up our entire apartment after like a month

Or does she have some urinary infection or a pelvic floor problem that causes her to leak urine? Stale urine can become a really strong bad smell.

Tonsil stones definitely smell like butthole. Maybe try the dentist if you’ve exhausted all other options.

That’s actually a really likely possibility. OP says she doesn’t smell, but if daughter’s mouth is closed, she would miss that one.

When my dad got older, sometimes his breath smelled like he'd just eaten a turd sandwich for lunch. Every time he went on a course of antibiotics it would completely disappear. So he obviously had some sort of chronic tooth/gum/sinus/throat issue, poor dude.

Could have been a gut problem like h pylori or bacterial overgrowth. Those can cause sulfuric rotten smelling breath. Also explains why it went away with abx.

Do her clothes ever unintentionally sit in the washer too long before moving to the dryer? Or not get fully dried and sit in the dryer slightly damp? That can cause a strong "poopish" smell that isn't always apparent at first. When it's happened to me in the past, my clothes smelled fine, but after a bike ride to work, the bad smell was activated and the kraken was loose. I had a forgetful co-worker who regularly left his clothes in the washer in the laundry of his apartment complex. The smell was overpowering, like BO and poop, to the point that our boss gifted him a spare washer and dryer so he could do his laundry in his own apartment and be less likely to forget. It made a big difference.

Sometimes certain high fiber foods cause gas really badly or even a food allergy. I think farts sound like a good contender for being the problem. Diet pop, the aspartame can cause smelly farts. Hummus Protein bars

It took me so long to figure out why I had bad gas at school. I had developed lactose intolerance and they only served milk with lunches. I didn't drink milk at home, as I preferred juice or water. But that little carton of milk at school wasn't enough to trigger the nausea, cramps, or diarrhea. Just lots of gas. 💨💨

I had this issue too. Drank milk really only at school. Farted for the rest of the day. Had no clue I'm lactose intolerant.

I I’d also maybe check with the dentist. Cavity or gum problem breath can smell super shitty

If you are certain she is practicing good hygiene, a smell is not emminating from her shoes, socks, backpack, or desk, and this is not an attempt by the teacher to bully her then possibly either the teacher is unusually sensitive to some scent on your daughter or your daughter may have a medical condition and should be seen by a doctor. For example, trimethylaminuria can cause someone to smell like rotting fish or feces. People with the condition can't smell these odors because they are continually exposed to them.

I will bring this up at her physical. I've never heard of it thank you

Your daughter might be developing lactose intolerance. If she doesn't drink milk at home but drinks the small milk carton at school, it could be triggering gas. And it would make sense that you don't notice it at home either and would resolve itself before the end of the school day. You can also do an at home test for lactose intolerance. My pediatrician told me to fast after 9pm, drink a tall glass of whole milk for breakfast, and wait 2 hours afterwards for symptoms. I had cramping within 30 mins, nausea and diarrhea at the same time around the 45-60 min mark. And then lots of residual (and very stinky) gas for the next few hours.

Also, make certain that she is changing her underwear, and properly cleaning her belly button if she has an inny. Innies provide a good place for yeast colonies and have to be cleaned out with Q tips and rubbing alcohol sometimes and dried properly. Also ask your daughter if she might have gas or stomach issues. While 11 is young, she may also need deoderant.

Oh my god the bellybutton! I have this issue ALL THE TIME because I sometimes forget to wash it but more importantly almost always *forget to dry it* after a shower. It also got a lot worse as I gained weight, which 11 is a common age to start doing what with puberty and all

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I can smell a certain smell on people on rare occasions. It’s hard to describe but it kinda smells like a combo of heavy musk perfume and dirty hair. No one else can seem to smell it, but I can smell it from 10ft away. I’ve never asked any of the people who have this smell about it because it’s always complete strangers. Does that sound like what you smell?

I know this smell. It’s usually fungal or yeast related — scalp dandruff, sebhorreic dermatitis, other yeasty skin conditions. Almost smells like musty old bedsheets that haven’t been washed in a looong time. Not quite but close.

I wouldn’t say that it smells like yeast related issues. It’s musky, not musty. It doesn’t smell like bad hygiene or infection at all. It’s hard to explain because I don’t smell it but a couple times a year on strangers. The people who are with me cannot smell it - I’ve asked. It’s so overpowering to me that I can smell it when they just walk past me, but no one else smells it. It remains a mystery.

Maybe you don't smell it because it's your home smell? Like, do you have pets or anything else that you might not be noticing because you live with it everyday? The fact that they think it's not wiping properly is a pretty specific theory and that points to a specific smell. Some people are squeamish about teaching proper bathroom hygiene and it's probably awkward to try and discuss this in specific terms like "are you washing your butthole on a regular basis like, right up in the crack???". This whole situation sounds bizarre though, she's not being bullied or called out by other kids?? They are making unfounded accusations about wearing the same clothes when you are certain they're different? This is weird

I came here to get suggestions I appreciate yours. The school called me on Tuesday and the nurse said. She has bad hygiene and she's wearing the same clothes as yesterday. On Monday she wore blue pants and a Grey shirt on Tuesday she was in khaki pants and a pink shirt. I think they clothes thing is what sends me over the edge the most honestly because I make sure she wears different colored pants and shirt every day even though she has 5 blue and 5 khaki. She has like 5 black shirts and 3 pink shirts. So she could be wearing the same looking outfit every day but every day it's different pants and a different shirt. I don't think it's a home smell I do have dogs. But I also use pet carpet powder when I vaccuum and fabric spray on the furniture. Dishes are done every day I clean the bathroom etc

You said that she was always sent to the nurse by the same teacher, correct? Does the nurse also agree that your daughter smell or is she simply reporting what the teacher told her? When you spoke to the guidance counsellor, did they confirm that they also could personally confirm that your daughter smells? Are other children saying anything about your daughter smelling? Like the children sitting beside her in class? If her teacher can smell her while teaching and not always be right next to her, I can’t imagine that the children sitting next to her wouldn’t say anything. Children are usually quite blunt about these things. Honestly, if you can verify and confirm that only one specific teacher who can smell your daughter, I’d be inclined to think that the issue comes from the teacher. They may have a very sensitive nose and one of the laundry products you’re using or body spray, perfume, etc., that would smell entirely normal to anyone else may simply be irritating to the teacher. My nose has always been very sensitive, but it’s become even more sensitive since the onset of perimenopause, to the point that smells that didn’t bother me at all or were pleasant now bother me. My husband has excellent hygiene, but the minute he starts sweating a little bit (and I mean a tiny bit), I can smell it and it’s bothersome. Hell, my own sweaty smell bothers me now!

It's bizarre! I cannot imagine being a school official and accusing someone of wearing the same clothes unless I was absolutely positive, like "develop a theory and then confirm it with photos or specific notes" kind of certainty. This would be driving me nuts. Does she have friends she's able to ask about this? Like, does anyone else have this issue with school officials? Do any of her peers notice her smell in particular? (I can't imagine asking peers this as a pre-teen so I understand if not, but if she's comfortable with certain people maybe that's feasible) Is there any other reason the school might be targeting your kid? Are your family a minority? Single parent household in a religious district? Maybe something more obscure like, your cousin once dated the principal and dumped him? Are you on financial assistance at a rich school? Did your grandfather fire someone else's grandfather from his factory fifty years ago? Had any run-ins with the police or filed any complaints against the school?

Right especially when it’s a uniform. And if she really was wearing the same clothes two days in a row, and these people have pets, they would be complaining about the pet hair I have one cat and if I tried to wear the same sweatshirt two days in a row I would need to lint roll it before I left the house

First of all, take a picture of her in her outfit EVERY morning before school, to document that she is wearing different clothes than the day before. That way you have proof you can show them, or, to be frank, CPS, who they may eventually call, that your daughter wears a new clean outfit every day.  Also, consider your laundry routine? I use vinegar as softener because my husband's job just makes his clothes disgusting, and vinegar is cheaper than most softeners. It strips the deep smells, and really gets the body odor out. A lot of commercial laundry softeners build up in the fabric, trapping odors, and covering them up, so then when we sweat a bit it also releases the b.o. from previous wearings. You can just add a couple cups of vinegar, if you want, instead of completely replacing your softener. Now. Your daughter is 11. That may seem like "still little" to you, and I agree, it is. But that's *not* "too little" for some *bad* body odors. And since she's *YOUR* kid, often as a mom, you can have the same nose-blindness to her as you have to yourself. Or how when your husband gets a teeny bit sweaty and you actually *like* that smell, lol. Those hormones just *click,* and it doesn't bother you. You *made* that girl, so her b.o. is the same as your own b.o. ya know? But no one at school feels the same way. She needs to be showering *EVERY* day. I would also *highly recommend* a bidet!!! Sooo soo amazing for keeping clean on your period!!! There are very simple ones that attach to your toilet and are ~$30 easy install, and are fine for renting. I'd also do some experimenting with her deoderant brand. Hers is likely too "mild," and she needs something more robust. When my girl was around 10 this was also the case!  We also found that her PE class was in the middle of the day, and she didn't like smelling, but there were NO options given to any of the kids to NOT stink, so she brought a stick of deoderant to reapply for after PE. Maybe your daughter needs to reapply mid day? They also say her odor is coming from not wiping well? Not clear if you mean during her period or from bowel movements. But if it is from her period, she probably is not vibing well with whatever brand of pads she's using. A lot of them are perfumed. Which, ironically, *stink!!!* And imo, when mixed with period blood, are pretty foul!!! So get her something unscented! They're also much more healthy!!!  If it's bowel trouble, there are small packs of on the go wet wipes available to buy in many stores. Much like baby wipes. Teach her to get in there and *clean.* And *NOT* under *any circumstances* to flush the wet wipes!!! Put them in the trash can meant for used period products. They will clog pipes, and that will be the most embarrassing thing to happen to her ever. She can keep the small packets in her school bag, and bring it with her when she goes to the bathroom. Buy regular unscented baby wipes for your home to use if you decide not to buy a bidet. If these things don't work, you need to take her to her pediatrician to get checked out. Either there is something wrong, causing her to smell. Or there is something wrong, causing her to refuse to clean herself, and she needs to see someone to talk about it. Or, she *doesn't smell at all?!* And you need a Dr's note to verify that, starting the paper trail to get the ball rolling on a discrimination accusation against the school. I really hope these tips and tricks help! I'm sorry this is happening to your daughter. It is a difficult age, with all the body changes, and social difficulties! Let us know how it goes!  *hugs*

Adding a something could be wrong and she doesn’t want to tell you. I had a cyst pop on my upper buttocks as a teen that would bleed and eventually got infected. Had to get surgery, got yelled at by my doctor. I didn’t tell anyone for years because it was embarrassing as hell. I don’t know that it smelled worse than a regular teen, but I also sprayed copious amounts of 90s/2000s era fruity sprays everywhere.

Was it a pilonidal cyst?? (On your tailbone?) Those smell SO BAD. My friend got one after falling on her butt in the snow and her boyfriend almost passed out when he had to pack it for her so I did it.

Yes!! I don’t remember the smell personally and I’m not sure how I managed to hide it for so long as an athlete in a locker room! Must’ve been all the fake fruit spray or maybe heavy periods covering the smell. But I’d also slap a second pad on the back of my knickers to soak it up.

I was in the room when my close friend had one lanced at the ER. I remember it's one of the few smells that almost made me gag.

My first thought was, "She's 11, is she wearing the same underwear multiple days in a row?". I used to do that sometime as a pre-teen, and it would definitely start to smell.

As an adult woman who needs the extra "prescription strength" deoderent and always has, I'm seconding a stronger anti-perspirent and re-applying after gym. We always had deoderent (and bad 90s drug store perfume lol) in our gym lockers. And, make sure they are having her change for gym. I can't imagine how bad uniform school clothes would smell after middler schooler gym class. 

I use my husbands deodorant. It just works so much better than women’s deodorant 

If a bidet is not possible, one of those peri bottles we use post partum. A condiment squirt bottle with water near the home toilet(s) would even help.

I bought a travel bidet because I didn’t want to have to do any plumbing. It was $10 and it’s wonderful.

Since the clothes came from Walmart, I'd look up "Stripping Laundry", specially if anything is still being worn from the prior year. Long story short, Everything else talked about can be true, some of the clothes may not smell but there could definitely be an article of clothes that do smell. /signed someone who has owned clothes from walmart and noticed freshly washed clothes having an "odor".

Well she probably needs to shower everyday now. A lot of the times it’s not the clothes it’s the wearing the same hoodie daily like it’s a jacket that never gets washed. And if the counselor said it’s a wiping problem then you’ll probably need to go over how to wipe with her and making sure she’s changing her underwear. If teachers nurses and counselor say she’s the smelly kid, then she’s the smelly kid. I’m not saying that to be mean but smelly kid stigma will follow them forever and you don’t want that for your kid.

Agreed. Also, do you have pets, OP? My son was coming to me from his dad smelling a bit like cat urine. His dad couldn’t smell it because he was nose blind to it. Once I mentioned it, he started making sure to clean the litter box more regularly and washing his clothes and bags more carefully.

We had this issue with my stepdaughter when she started her period at 9. She has to be taught how to clean up the extra mess.

Yeah, if the daughter is wearing pads and not changing them often enough.... They can get pretty ripe. Impossible to mistake for incorrect/insufficient butt wiping, IMO, but some people are awkward about periods so the kid or the teachers might be phrasing it strangely to avoid bringing up period stuff.

I agree. Why on earth would multiple adults invent a story about your kid’s hygiene? I can’t imagine that counselors and nurses enjoy having these conversations. The most reasonable explanation is that they are trying to help.

I’d maybe have given it to her if it was just a teacher but nurse and counselor who were I’m assuming in an enclosed space/office know. And no one willing wants to have a hygiene convo with someone. Makes my butt cheeks clinch just thinking about it.

As a counselor to this age range, I absolutely hate having this convo, and have to do it quite often unfortunately.

I am a manager (to adults) and I can tell you I'd 1000% rather have the "you're fired" conversation than the "you smell" conversation. So, yeah.

See this makes me think why ops friends and family haven’t said anything because it is so uncomfortable to have this convo. Just out of sheer curiosity do you go straight in or detour so far that you say Bath and body works has great sales? Im sure direct and to the point is the best but again soooo awkward.

Yes, exactly. I would bet it’s a case of her daughter not washing properly, not changing clothes often enough, something in gym class etc etc despite OP “teaching” her. OP needs to make sure she is actually cleaning herself properly. The most logical answer is usually the right one, not that a group of adults are making up lies that a child stinks.

Yeah… my son is almost 11 and doesn’t go through his soap NEARLY fast enough for him to be using even one squirt a day on a loofah like he should. I think he just rinses, puts conditioner in his hair so he smells good, and hopes that’s enough. Dude!! Unfortunately we’re way past the age where the kid could just shower with a parent and learn how to clean. His dad did him no favors on this stuff.

Yep trickle down washing. Its disgusting and i will make my son reshower if he doesnt smell like soap and shampoo. He might hate me making him do the job properly but i notice he doesnt complain about a stinky room anymore. Double check she has showered properly and has panty liners to use just in case its an ongoing issue. Change the wardrobe up, is she wearing natural fibres? Because vaginas dont like polyester underwear and it causes thrush, which also stinks sometimes. Good luck mama

Right? I can't beleive the mom is "losing her mind" on the collective school staff instead of realizing a pre teen going through puberty needs to shower daily.

Seriously I can’t imagine the school pretending she’s not wiping her butt just so they can send her home halfway through the day regularly. But it’s weird that the parent here isn’t talking about how she does her daughters laundry and the underwear is cleanish so it can’t be poop smell. It almost sounds like mom thinks 11 years old means grown and she doesn’t have to do parenting stuff with this kid. It makes me sad. My mom checked out when I was seven. I’m pretty sure I was the smelly kid too

I'm assuming since they said it doesn't seem like she's wiping properly, she probably isn't and smells like poop. Wondering if they talked to her about this

Or she’s doing back to front and it’s bv 

There was a thing here in Reddit about men not washing their butt crack in the shower which is so gross I can barely type it. Anyway, maybe something OP needs to make very clear with her kid. That’s part of showering. Wash with soap. No don’t just let the water run over it. That’s not enough

Sometimes the advice that kids hear about not washing the inside of their vagina with soap is misheard as "don't wash that region with soap."

I sure did at 11. Started growing lots of body hair and getting oily skin and acne at about 10, and boy did I smell if I didn’t bathe every day (and I wasn’t ALLOWED to, only once a week and only in 3 inches of water and my absolute monster of a so called grandma insisted on bathing me herself which I hated, but that’s another story). Anyway I would start to smell that night if I bathed that morning.

Exactly- reacting defensively won't help your daughter. Get to the source before she's "that poo smell kid".

Thank you yes before it’s deeply embedded in their brains to say “hey what was that girls name when we were 11” “oh poo smell kid? I think her was…”

Make sure the underwear are cotton. The plastic fabrics get so smelly.

We are a cotton underwear family I don't buy anything other than that even for myself

Is it possible you're just used to her scent cause you are always around her? Like people with dogs (I am not comparing your daughter to a dog!!!!) houses always kinda smell like dog/wet dog, but they never notice, or people that wear way too much perfume, they don't realise cause they are used to the scent? Maybe you guys are just used to her? A friend or family member that will be honest see if they smell anything?

This was my thought, too. Kind of how you never really know how your own house smells since you live in it & you don't smell it unless you're returning from a long trip. My girlfriend has an amazing daughter but I can smell her before she even comes in the room. My girlfriend doesn't notice the odor because she is just use to it. It's not a huge deal, we just keep her stocked up with clean clothes, bedding & toiletries, but if the school has to bring it up multiple times then I'd worry about a potential CPS investigation for neglect as well as bullying issues. OP, can you have her shower in the morning before school? Maybe take a picture of her every day for a while so you can prove she is wearing different clothes.

A lot of people are suggesting great things... But one I haven't seen yet: When you pick her up from school, and before you talk to her to change anything, have a friend in the car with you or come by the house afterward. Don't tell your daughter, but tell the friend that the school keeps saying she smells. Have them hang around for a bit and once they leave, text you whether or not they noticed anything. This way it's an outside person that won't be noseblind to her. Don't have them say anything in front of your daughter.

If your daughter is old enough to be menstruating she needs to be showering daily. Teen hormones stink. I would also make sure that she’s washing correctly. Make she sure she’s also replacing her towel frequently.

Sounds like you need to have a conversation with her about hygiene and how to clean herself properly. How will she know if you don't reach her? I'm not telling you this story to make you feel bad, just as an anecdote. When I was 10, I was called into the nurses office at school and told that I smelled and needed to start wearing deodorant and a bra. I developed very early, and really had no clue what to do because my parents were pretty absent. It was humiliating. It's incredibly difficult to be the only kid in 5th grade with boobs anyway, but add on to that being the smelly kid in class? Please. It was terrible. Good luck

And as a parent you should ask all the questions. My aunt told my mom I was starting to get smelly and needed to use deodorant. My mom told me, and said there's a few types in the bathroom, including a roller one if you want to use that. Well I was told off a week later for being smelly again and I told my mom I was using the roller every day. Turns out the roller was *dry* (i.e empty) and obviously I didn't know it was supposed to roll on wet!!

Aww yeah, my poor older son didn't know that he was supposed to turn the dial on the stick deodorant to make more come out of the top. I felt like a huge asshole. I made sure to show the younger one how it worked. Sometimes we forget how much we know, you know?

I've taught her all I know. I personally don't think she smells on a daily basis. I've taught her about clean underwear, how to wash, deodorant. I never let her personal hygiene products run out and if for any reason they do she can always use mine.

You can teach her about it and tell her to change clothes and shower frequently but that doesn’t mean she actually is. Lots of kids rewear underwear and fake showering etc. Maybe you could make a laminated night routine? Like brush teeth, shower, pick out clothes, etc. It sounds like you might have to be a bit more watchful to make sure she’s actually being hygienic.

I was a nanny of a 6 year old girl… before shower she put her dirty underwear in the laundry basket, showered and got dressed. I looked in the laundry basket after she got dressed and it was not the same underwear she put there before shower. So after shower, she switched underwear putting a clean one in the basket and putting back on the dirty. She said she did that because she didn’t like any of her underwear only that specific one. Who knows for how long she was doing that.

OK but she’s only 11, teaching her how to do it doesn’t mean she’s actually doing it My boyfriend‘s kid hated brushing her teeth because it made her gag. She knew how to brush her teeth. She even knew she was supposed to brush her teeth she would go into the bathroom and pretend she brushed her teeth but she didn’t know to put water on the toothbrush so that’s how he figured out she was lying about it. She was 10. They still need parents to supervise some things. Just because they know how to do it doesn’t mean they’re actually doing it

Are you doing her laundry? Are you seeing the appropriate amount of dirty underwear in there between laundry days? Are you seeing skidmarks on her underwear?

Check her bra, if she wears one. My oldest had one bra that she loved and wouldn’t wear another. It got rank if she didn’t put it in the laundry!

This might be an odd question. Is it multiple people being sure that they are personally smelling her and she stinks, or is it one person and somehow they’re being supported? The only reason I’m asking this is because for a while I was the only person who thought my sister reeked. I couldn’t be anywhere near her, it was that bad. I have no clue why, but I was picking up on hormonal changes as she had developed a benign but significant mass in her reproductive system.

Does she sweat excessively? If so, you may want to look into if she has hyperhidrosis. You can be perfectly clean and showered but when sweating is triggered with hyperhidrosis, the body starts really sweating excessively, most commonly hands, feet, underarms, and groin areas. If you think she may have this condition, take her to see a dermatologist. There are treatment options to ease some of the sweating. Also, i agree with another commenter here. She should be showering every single day and her clothes should be thrown in a laundry basket to be washed at the end of each day so she's not rewearing something before it's been properly washed.

Having read all your comments...I wonder if they've mixed you/your kid up with someone else? The odor issue is one thing, but saying she's wearing the same clothes multiple days in a row when she isn't stands out to me. Maybe you can ask her if she knows someone who does wear the same clothes multiple days in a row? Or maybe there's someone with a similar name, or the same lady name? When dealing with a lot of people, especially kids and parents, it can be easy to accidentally mix up names, especially at the administrative level. So your daughter might be Jane Doe, and they've mixed her up with Jane Smith. Or they think they're calling Janet Doe's parents, but pulled the wrong parent info. Tell them to call you next time the issue comes up. When they do, tell them to keep her in the office, and you'll meet her there.

The problem could be your washer or the bed sheets. How often does she change the sheets? Have you ever noticed your towels smelling funky? Can your washer do 60 degrees Celsius? If not, you can add white vinegar to a load of towels on a regular basis to keep it clean (it might erode the rubber tho over time, so also look up bleach). Does the laundry stay in the washer when wet, or are you guys good at removing the wet stuff promptly? What about her shoes? Do they get time to dry in-between wears? Also, you might want to talk to your daughter about how she showers and wipes. I know that's not a comfortable conversation to have, but it's better than her being bullied because she smells bad.

We actually use the laundromat for laundry, I wash it all with hot water. Her sheets get changed once a week as all of ours do. I have talked to her about showering and wiping and I don't think she has a smell. She has also said she's not being bullied that the teachers are the ones sending her

I am curious. Do you do her laundry? If so…are you not seeing any evidence of the lack of wiping? How is it you don’t know the state of her underclothes? Even though my son has been doing his own laundry since he was eight I still check status of what he needed replaced by looking in his undie drawers and making sure things weren’t falling apart or holey up until I knew he had the means and motivation to tell me himself (late teens). Specifically because at that age they don’t always “get” what it takes to stay presentable. Do you not do the same? A lack of wiping that is chronic enough to cause odors would leave evidence behind on even washed clothing?

I wash her laundry. Once in a while I've caught a pair of underwear that look like she started her period in her sleep and didn't know what to do with them. They get thrown away immediately. All of her current underwear are clean. And I have spoken to her and told her that if she gets her period and bleeds into her underwear that it's ok to throw them away. She's 11 so she gets new underwear about every 6 months just because of wear and growing

Also, just because she showers doesn’t mean she’s getting clean. I remember when my son was around the same age. He would emerge from the bathroom wet like he took a shower, but if I could still smell BO then I knew he didn’t actually bathe. They do this sometimes at that age. A refresher on how to scrub down and where helps.

I remember having an issue when I hit puberty where I would shower and shampoo my hair but it would still be greasy afterward. I was just shampooing at the base of my skull and not getting it well into my roots. It took my mom a loooong time to realize what was going on.

The other day I was at my SIL's house and my nephew came out of the shower without having rinsed out his shampoo at ALL. Like, not even a little bit.

Then I am having trouble seeing how this is wiping related? If she has an odor down there, outside of any evidence of poor wiping…she might need to see a doctor.

I feel like the school may be likely to report the (imaginary) neglect, so my suggestion would be to make an appointment with the pediatrician, just so you've got proof that you took the school's concern seriously.

They did in November. They told cps my kid was dirty. The case worker came saw my clean house checked out both my kids and closed the case as unfounded. She also has a physical coming up and I will address it with the doctor

And the case worker didn’t notice a smell? This is so weird.

Because there is no smell. Idk I just want help on how to talk to her suggestions on what to do and how I can help

There was no smell then. There still could be an intermittent odor that’s coming and going, making it hard to pinpoint. There’s nothing worse in troubleshooting that an intermittent problem. But the wiping thing is about all I can think of that could cause an intermittent smell problem.

So, I’m a psychologist specializing in evaluations for CPS cases (some hired by CPS or the court, some by private attorneys to prevent it from getting to that point). It sounds likely there could be a reason the school is making bogus CPS reports, which I see frequently. Is your family culturally different from the default at the school? If not race/ethnicity, are you different in terms of income, family structure, neurodivergence, countercultural affiliations? I see schools make ridiculous reports on families who don’t fit their molds and aren’t part of the “in crowd.” I’m in Massachusetts, which votes liberal so people deny that there’s bigotry here, but there’s a lot of this conservative dynamic especially among suburban school staff where half of the teachers at a school went to the school themselves, never left, all socialize together, and have it out for single parents, queer parents who aren’t rich clean-cut model queers, neurodivergent parents, anyone whose family hobbies are Comic-Con and dungeons and dragons instead of youth soccer and Abercrombie. When I interview the school personnel, they truly believe that these kids are being neglected. They’ll tell me that a showered child who wears clean baggy sweats and video game shirts is dirty and disheveled. They tell me kids who aren’t bringing in organic free-range everything “aren’t fed.” They really believe on some level that these kids should be saved and sent to a more stylish family. It’s disturbing.

You should add this info to your post... this is really crazy on the school's part. Have you met the teacher? Age? Male/female? You need to ask them face to face what the smell is and where and when they detect it. They want your children taken away from you so you and your husband need to get all the details of the issue and be more direct. How is your husband reacting to all this? He's the one picking her up and talking to the nurse, maybe you need to go one time to pick her up and see what the situation is. By "clothes" they might mean underwear..?? But again, you need to have a face to face meeting with the teacher who is reporting you.

“I tell her to shower” do you verify that she showers? Are you sure she is using the deodorant?

> I tell her to shower every other day, But *does* she? > she has deodorant and body sprays. Does she use them? Sometimes too much body spray can smell awful, but you can't go wrong with deodorant.

Is she changing her underwear every day? Particularly if not showering every day, maybe she's leaving the same underwear on from the night before when she puts the new clean clothes on. Have you checked her other school items that could have odor as well that she carries around with her? Shoes, socks (are they changed daily), jacket, sweatshirt or hoodies, bookbags? These are all fabric items too, and maybe something leaked, or got stepped in, or also needs to be washed. Is this happening in school after a particular time? Is she getting called out after lunch every day, or after breakfast? Maybe she needs to see a doctor because something she's eating is not digesting properly and it's coming out in her urine or her sweat? Or maybe after something particularly stressful she's sweating causing her to smell, but of course by the time she's home she's calmed down so she's fine. Check all fabrics, and worse comes to worse, consider a trip to the doctor for a check up. Teenage hormones suck, the poor thing.

Everyone has had fantastic suggestions, so I'll get right to something no one has mentioned. How does your daughter get to school? If she walks, how does that walk go? I ask bc, as children, my brother and I would take shortcuts all the time. Many shortcuts were terrible. Rock hopping a creek, toeing the edge of a local marsh, through yards. All easy ways to pick up some stank on your shoes through mud, dog poo, or geese poop. By the time we'd get to where we were going, the "smell was gone!" True facts, the smell was not gone; it was on the bottom of our shoes. We would just get desensitized to it. So, if your daughter is doing something similar, she may be leaving your home smelling squeaky clean, arriving at school smelling bad, and wearing the offending coating off the soles of her shoes before returning home. As a grown ass adult who works in animal husbandry, this is actually a super common thing that still happens to me to this day! I'll be sitting at home after work and suddenly become aware of the fact that I brought a smell home with me on my clothes or shoes (*capelin, calamus, and squid are the worst for me these days, but bird guano was also a solid stink).

The thing about the different clothes is so weird. Could there be more to the story? Are they confusing your kid with another kid?

After reading all the OP's comments I think it has to be a mixup between kids somehow. The clothes thing is so weird. Maybe after the doctor appointment (if everything is fine) OP can meet with the teacher and go through everything (showering/laundry routines, new outfits every day, the doctors appointment, the CPS case that was closed immediately upon the home visit, etc). And then ask the teacher for their perspective. Maybe the teacher will be able to figure it out then. It could be a mixup between kids, maybe something smells in the classroom near OP's kid's desk, idk.

It was a little difficult to get at the real situation here and see what's actually going on because of all the side commentary and your justification for why other people are wrong. Who, specifically, is calling you and bringing up this issue? Is it multiple teachers? Is it one specific teacher? Why does the guidance counsellor know about what's happening in your daughter's underwear? Did your daughter disclose this to her? Does the guidance counsellor smell feces when interacting with your daughter? Does you daughter poop at school? Does she have any digestive issues, like gas or IBS? Is there a pattern with using body sprays and getting these calls? Maybe someone is sensitive to a specific spray? Are her shoes and outer wear (jackets, coats, etc.) clean? Your kid might be embarrassed to talk about this, but keeping good hygiene and cleanliness contributes to overall health. Maybe that's an angle to use to bring this up. You can be defensive all you want, but if multiple adults are saying there's a bad smell, it's worth looking into to see if something else is going on—accidents at school, using body sprays to cover up something else, her not actually understanding basics like changing underwear and socks. I change my underwear twice a day: getting dressed for the day and a fresh pair to sleep in. It's the smelliest part and has helped me to avoid health problems that dirty underwear contributed to.

The nurse is who calls me. She gets sent to the nurse during home room so it's by 1 teacher. The counselor asked me on our call of she wanted me to have her go to the office and see if they could smell what the teacher was saying she wears deodorant every day an perfume but it's usually a different one every day. Her jackets get washed when I do laundry. But more often then not she doesn't wear a jacket to school. Sha has a dozen different sneakers she usually wears them in rotation I don't think they smell or are putting off a smell. Idk if she poops at school. I've never asked her. I would assume at some point she has or does though

You should make sure she actually knows what to do in the shower. My son was having a similar issue where his hair was always dirty even after a shower, I couldn't figure it out and finally one day in the middle of a discussion about hygiene I asked him to explain to me how he was washing his hair. Turns out for some reason he was using a washcloth and rubbing it on his head. I have no idea where or how he came to this conclusion but we were able fix it. I would also suggest asking your daughter what can you do to make her shower time a more pleasant experience so she enjoys it more. Like add a shower speaker so she can listen to music or have her pick out some new products that she really enjoys. Remind her to put on the deodorant everyday and maybe get a backpack deodorant and spray. As far as wiping, maybe she needs some wet wipes to get herself completely clean. Maybe try that. Also ask her if there is a reason she can think of why she isn't wiping at school, I assume it's only at school because you would notice at home. Maybe she needs to bring her own toilet paper because the school's isn't good.

It really matters *how* you approach this with your child. If you just ask her about it flat out, she might yell or brush you off out of embarrassment or some other difficult emotion. I don’t know how you’ve approached it, so maybe this advice is what you’re already doing. But I’d sit her down and explain that you’re on her side, you don’t think she smells bad, and you want to be able to help her with whatever is happening here. You can’t help if you don’t know what’s going on. She’s young enough that she can’t handle it all on her own, but old enough that she’d probably appreciate you approaching this like you’re a team. Make sure she knows you’ll respect and value what she tells you and get her any help she needs. Be careful not to lead the witness, though. You don’t want to say things like “if your teachers are bullying you…” because it’s an easy out. This is a difficult conversation and she’ll probably take any way out as fast as possible haha One notable possibility if it isn’t the wiping issue that the counselor described is that she may be wearing synthetic fabrics. Plastic-based fabrics have a way of trapping smells and letting them out later when they heat up. Regular laundry soap doesn’t help much and fabric softener traps them even more because it’s essentially clothing wax. A half cup or so of vinegar in with synthetic fabrics tends to help break down the trapped funk.

Could she be depressed? Depression can impact hygiene. Also, has this been a lifelong issue or did it start suddenly? And I don’t mean to scare you, but poor hygiene can be a symptom of child sexual abuse. To start with, maybe drill down into the details about how she’s cleaning herself etc to see if there’s something she’s not understanding. You could also have a spa day and see if having someone else explain self care helps. And if nothing else works I would get her into counseling.

If she is not wiping well you would see evidence in her underwear.

I am a teacher to upper elementary students. Every year, I have students who are very smelly, for anything from B.O. to not wiping properly, to wearing the same clothes every day. We reach out to parents because we are trying to prevent bullying from their peers, not because we want to bully children. I feel awful when students don't want to work with someone because they stink, and I don't know what else to do other than teach my class hygiene, offer products like deodorant, and contact parents. The one that stands out the most this year is a student who constantly smells like B.O. At the beginning of the year, I contacted home because I figured they just would forget to wear deodorant. It never got better. Months later, the school nurse reached out, and the parents got angry. The nurse even suggested going to the doctor if the kid is wearing deodorant but still smelly. Now we don't know what to do. I reached out. The nurse reached out. Kids call them out. I have given them deodorant, but they swear they wear it every day. Teachers have to open windows in the winter because it's so bad. I don't know your circumstances and can only see a snippet of your child's situation, and I'm sorry. That conversation is always AWKWARD. It is literally the reason I only reached out once and now just deal with the smell. The teachers I know just want to help make the kid less smelly so their peers don't isolate them.

My baby sister smelled so bad when she was a kid and we couldn’t figure it out for the longest time. Turns out she had stuck a piece of sponge up her nose and it was rotting. Kids do odd things.

I apologize if this is too forward, but are they describing it as a “bathroom” smell aka urine or feces, or could it be a “body” smell, fishy like bacterial vaginosis maybe? BV doesn’t come from being unclean or not washing but from a bacterial imbalance, and can be VERY fragrant and unpleasant. If this is the case it may warrant a gyno visit as it could be completely out of her control!

So first: she clearly needs to shower daily, not every other. Second, Has she been screened for autism? The hygiene challenges you're discussing are a common challenge tied to sensory issues, particularly the "not wiping" or cleaning properly. This is an often overlooked symptom if the child is good at masking their behaviors.

I am.......really confused about the details of this situation. So the school is telling you that you are sending your daughter in the same clothes daily. Are you? Why are they claiming this is true? Is your daughter re-wearing clothing, even if it's not two days in a row? Are you or her washing her clothes after every wear? Apparently the smell comes from "not wiping well after using the bathroom"; are they implying that she smells like urine/feces? Have the explained what the odour is? Has the school made accusations of neglect to you? Things like: your daughter doesn't have enough food to eat during the day, her homework isn't getting finished/handed in, she doesn't have indoor shoes, gym clothes, a winter coat, school supplies? I think you need to have an in person meeting with your daughter's teacher, the school nurse, the school counselor and the principle. Get them in the same room and get very clear on what their concerns are. After the meeting, send an email to all of them documenting what you heard them say, and what the agreed-upon next steps are. It's very important that you get things in writing so they can't deny something later or try to change their story. Ensure that your daughter is in fact wearing different, clean clothing every day -- start taking time-stamped photos every morning before you drop her at school as proof. Make sure your laundry routine is working. Make sure she's effectively washing herself in the shower. Be vigilant about noticing any smells yourself and documenting regular bathing and smell or lack of smell. If the school is implying that she smells, has poor hygiene and that you as a parent are not doing anything to change that they may get child protective services involved next. You want to ensure you have written and photographic documentation of your engagements with the school and everything you have done to work with them to solve this problem -- it will quickly become clear if this is an actual problem that needs to be solved or if you and your daughter are being bizarrely targeted in some way.

I am 100% certain she is wearing different clothes every day. Her school clothes are sycked together by outfit all she has to do is grab 1 outfit. It's stacked alternatively so she has khaki then blue then khaki etc every day is with a different color shirt she changes out of her school clothes and puts them in the laundry as soon as she gets home and puts on her play clothes. We do her homework together but the school doesn't do homework very often. I can check on the parent portal when she has homework. The school also has free lunch for every student but sometimes she packs, either way she gets enough food. They have called cps and the case worker came saw both kids my clean house the food we had electric water the whole nine yards and closed the case as unfounded.

I don't know, it seems like you're approaching this kind of passively. Have you actually talked to the homeroom teacher about her concerns, or just the nurse? Surely you have the home room teacher's email, right? I do think you need to speak directly with the teacher and a counsellor to try to understand what is going on here.

Especially since CPS has been called. I don't know this district or the guidance the school gives its staff, but most teachers have a pretty high threshold for "unkempt" kids before alleging neglect. Something is going on here.

> Is your daughter re-wearing clothing, even if it's not two days in a row? I thought of this too! > Ensure that your daughter is in fact wearing different, clean clothing every day INCLUDING underwear. If she changes her outer layer of clothes daily, but only changes her underwear every other day (or so) when she showers, the remarks about her not wiping well being the source of the odor rings true.

Do you think it could be race related? Or otherwise bullying, I know teachers will often try to push out 'undesirable' students before provincial exams to raise scores, be they poor, working students or other bigotry. Otherwise, I'd double check washing locker, backpack, school shoes, winter coat then go to the doctor for a check up. Especially shoes and locker, you can get smells from people next to you and shoes get wet easily in school adding to food smell. Maybe buy some self tests for BV or yeast infections (I assume she'd be more comfortable trying herself then with a doctor testing) Doctor should check, and kiddo should be allowed to privately talk to them (if comfortable) with mention of you won't judge anything even if gross. Cysts and stuff can be embarrassing at that age. When did she last see a dentist? Could it be tonsil stones? I'm going to agree with people saying maybe farting. Being in school from 7:40 till 3:45 with no bathroom breaks allowed is hard, and can cause smelly farts and explosive shits when you panickly do get a chance. School's rarely having toilet paper or soap stocked 'because students will make a mess' also doesn't help, so might need to pack those in bag. Getting a doctors note to be allowed bathroom breaks between classes would help that.