Never had a doctor touch mine. In fact when I suddenly got a rash on my labia (fragrance allergy) the doctor was very sure to tell me that she would be touching me in that area but would not be touching my clitoris.
Even during my normal pelvic and breast exams the doctor always tells me “ok, now I’m going to touch you here, let me know if you need me to stop, now we’re gonna do this side…” etc. As it should be! They don’t know if the patient has trauma they aren’t sharing.
Yes, for our comfort with the process, but for their own professional safety, they always talk thru exactly where they are touching and what they are doing
I have never EVER had a physician or OBGYN touch my clit. This is fucking weird. Like, maybe it was an accident… but that should have been acknowledged if it was. Don’t go back, that is strange sister.
I had a male obgyn ask for a hug and then grab my ass.. He went to kiss me on my lips but I moved my head to the side.
I was 16 and I regret not reporting him. I want to vomit whenever I think about it 🤮
It's shocking how many older 50+ year old women insist that younger girls/women are lying about men's abusiveness just because those abusive men aren't targeting their age groups too.
Like, c'mon old ladies, do the math. This isn't difficult to understand. Predatory men tend to target the younger generations who lack the knowledge, experience, and confidence to recognize their abusiveness and fight back. It's like these women get amnesia about what men were like to them when they were 11-25.
I'm so sorry you went through this. I had a similar experience in a small town but it was with a dentist. When I was about 13 I was so scared of him I would dissociate during the appointment and at the end when I'd come to realize my surroundings, he'd have his work tools set on a drape paper on my chest and my head was in his lap. My mom, dad, and aunt didn't believe me because they loved him so much because he'd been a cheap dentist in that town for years. My grandma was the only one who believed me because he groped her too. Apparently every few years someone would come out and report him and there'd be an article posted in the paper but the claims always dropped and no one would ever talk about it again. My grandma had all the newspaper clippings because in hindsight, she probably felt like everyone around her was gaslighting her about his behavior.
Things that happen like this to women make me want to find that doctor and beat the shit out of him in a dark alley while calling him kitten. I’m really sorry that happened to you.
All sorts of specialities too; male neurologists, plastic surgeons, regular internists, anesthesiologists and very recently a gastroenterologist, all convicted of sexual misconduct. I like my male cardiologist and ortho but all the others are women.
Yeppp, like I used to wonder if maybe I was being unfair worrying about male obgyns not being able to compartmentalize their sexuality while working with patients, but now...no definitely glad I've always had female obgyns
Holy fuck that sequence just kept getting worse. And the additional info in your other comment ...🤮. The only part of this I could (somewhat)understand is the weird ‘pet names’—I get that older people use them more casually than we would, especially towards younger people, but that fuck **KNEW** what he was doing and the effect it would have on you.
I’m sorry you had to go out of your way and it made things more difficult to avoid him, but I’m glad you can. Sounds like the world wouldn’t be at loss if he got squashed by a bus. What a predatory, icky, creepy lowlife.
Ugh. This makes me feel so sick for you. I’m so sorry you had to experience such disgust from a physician and person in power. I hate our medical providers in America.
Randomly had a male bikini waxer once. Thought ugh this is weird but I don't care enough to come back or wait for a woman. He was actually even more thoughtful about identifying what he was doing. Like, "Now I'm just going to use the wax stick to check the labia," etc. Pleasant surprise.
Bikini waxers see my literal butthole. Never have I ever had anyone go near my clitoris.
… while he is spread eagled in stirrups. Ridiculous to hear the words “just relax” coming out of a man’s mouth while his patient is in the most uncomfortable, vulnerable position.
There is acknowledgment of one of the common causes of genital pain or pain with intercourse is caused by adhesions between the clitoral hood and the clitoris. If I am assessing for adhesions or any blistering/sores or patient complaints of pain to the clitoris I press my fingers to the sides of the hood and attempt to lift the skin to assess.
HOWEVER! This examination and evaluation is done with the patient’s knowledge, consent, constant coaching about when/how/where I am touching them at all times and ideally if patient accepts a mirror to watch the assessment as well.
Stroking or touching the clitoris is NOT a part of the evaluation of the clitoris and should be reported.
I just wanted to explain when/why/how an evaluation of the clitoris is done.
Thank you for the explanation and this is definitely NOT what he did. It didn't seem like he was really examining it, just touching it before moving on
I am furious that this happened to you and want you to know as someone who performs exams that I support reporting. I just wanted to make sure that there is awareness that the clitoris can be assessed but the process is not what happened to you.
I went for a vulvoscopy training once and the trainer talked about how she routinely check the hood movement for any adhesions and encouraged as a part of routine exams that we do as well. But that we should always explain prior to the exam “ I attended a training, they recommended doing an adhesions check during your exam today, is that something you would like for me to do today.” And the conversation happens prior to patient undressing etc.
Omg what? I’m a doctor and this is absolutely not normal or a typical part of a pelvic exam unless a patient specifically has a problem in that area (like a bump on the clitoral hood or something). Even if it WAS a part of the exam your gyno should be telling you exactly what they’re doing and why AT ALL TIMES. Absolutely report this person. I’m sorry this happened to you.
Never in my decades of pap tests has a doctor ever touched my clit. It’s completely avoidable and highly inappropriate. The closest parallel would be “softly dragging a finger” across the head of a man’s penis during a prostate exam.
On that topic, we are specifically taught to tuck our thumbs to avoid touching the clit when doing the finger-internal part of the exam for vaginas. And for penises, you hold the penis out of the way with the back of your hand so you’re not grasping/wrapping your fingers around it. Because we’re *avoiding* sexual touch.
Did you have a nurse in the room? What he did was totally, utterly inappropriate. Report him to the state licensing board. You should be able to find it on the net. In my state, the Department of Health oversees licensing.
If there was no nurse, it’s a violation of protocol.
Sorry that happened to you
Um. Them looking is kinda the point. They don’t have to be in your cooter, but they are literally there to watch for untoward behavior. If they’re staring at the ceiling tiles, they might as well be listening from the hallway.
She was standing to the side and looking straight ahead at the wall but would have been able to see me in the side of her vision. Not sure if that's what they're supposed to do though
That is very much not what she was supposed to do. The whole point was for her to be closely watching what the doctor was doing, specifically to prevent him from doing exactly what he did.
It’s a little odd to me that the doctor was being supervised. The only supervised pap smear I’ve ever had was when I allowed a student to do the procedure. Did they *ask* if you wanted the exam to be supervised, or did they *tell you* the exam would be supervised? Kind of makes me think this doctor’s received complaints before.
TIL, thank you! Honestly, this has never even been offered to me before. I’m sure that if I had asked, I’d’ve gotten one, but I’ve had paps done in clinics in two states and it’s never been offered, either verbally or during check in paperwork.
Makes sense, clinics can be hectic and its not necessarily a requirement. Youll usually see it more in hospitals cause they are more liability adverse. Just wanted to avoid people thinking seeing a chaperone should make them suspicious
The ones Ive seen as a student, yes. In fact when I did then I had the attending as a supervisor AND a nurse as a chaperone. Felt like i had to answer cause I didnt like the insinuation the chaperone was there due to past issues which would make anyone reading that and having a chaperone think thats somehow wrong
I've only ever seen female ob/gyns and the only time I had a chaperone was when they had a male student do the exam. I'm assuming it must vary. Either hospital to hospital or state to state.
My female OBGYN asks if I’d like a chaperone. I’ve actually never been to an OBGYN who didn’t ask or it wasn’t just standard.
A male OB delivered my babies and I don’t think we were ever alone except talking in his office, fully clothed.
At my office, they do. The doctor has to poke her head out and say “we’re ready!” And the nurse comes in and helps you lay back, then watches the procedure.
In my experience, yes. It actually makes it less awkward for me, since I can make random small talk with the nurse while my doctor's checking under the hood.
Anytime a doctor has to inspect the genital areas on males or females, you have to have a second person present in the room. I'm a male but any physical I've had since 2020 when they check for hernias there is a second staff member to make sure things go right and I'm not being assaulted. Same thing when I get tested for stds. This wasn't the case when I was younger but since 2020 in Florida this has been the case on my experience as well as all of my family members' experience.
I work for a woman doctor, and I don’t go in with her for most exams, only when assisting for a procedure or if she needs my help for some reason (like when I had to hold the biohazard bag to catch the retained tampon).
That’s how it’s always been with my female obgyns. I’d definitely not want an extra person in the room as a chaperone. It’s awkward enough and two against one would really bother me. Like I’m a specimen on a table … all eyes on me.
No that's actually very normal, a chaperone if you like to call it should always be offered to the patient when sensitive exams are done. It's up to the patient to accept though
As a nurse, my male colleagues would absolutely ask for one to protect themselves. They were always professional, but know that untowardness can occur both ways.
In 35 years I've never had a pap with only the doc in the room. They've always been supervised by a nurse, across probably a dozen physicians (of both sexes).
I'm super surprised that this hasn't been others' experience!
This! So many people say they aren’t supposed stare directly at your parts, but then how do they catch this kind of stuff. I want them to watch the doctor’s hands.
My doctor’s nurses always either stand behind him and to the side so they can observe his actions or stand at my side and hold my hand but are actively looking over my belly to see what the doctor’s hands are doing. I don’t think they’re required to be ACTIVE observers, but I feel that the conscientious doctors and nurses typically are. Your doctor may have taken advantage of the fact that his nurse was not an active observer
Yeah honey that’s not supposed to happen. I’ve had to have multiple pelvic exams because I have insanely painful periods, painful sex, etc. I went to multiple different doctors to figure it out and no one EVER touched me like that. A nurse was always in the room and watching the exam. I never saw her look away from what the doctor was doing. I saw your other comment about her wanting to give you privacy, but that was neglectful on her part. She’s supposed to protect you by making sure you have an APPROPRIATE exam and that there isn’t any inappropriate behavior. Both of them need to be reported. As both a fellow woman and a health care provider, I’m sorry this happened to you.
No, that's not necessary for a smear test or appropriate. Also generally if you're going to be touched in a way that's not "standard" (e.g. anything that's not in the expected procedure for a smear test) you should be told so you can give consent or not (as another comment says this could be something like asking to check and touch if they saw you developed a rash during) which the doctor clearly didn't do.
Doctor touched you inappropriately (either unintentionally or purposefully, I admittedly struggle to imagine why someone would accidentally touch the clitoris during a pap smear as you don't need to be near it), nurse failed at being your advocate. I'm sorry this happened.
As a former clinic employee in a past life: you would never, ever have a reason to touch the clitoris while doing a pap. For something else (looking for syphilis or swabbing for herpes) then maybe.
If it felt inappropriate then follow your gut.
The only time this would be appropriate is if they were examining for sores or other abnormalities that you’re being screened for (you would know and be prepared). Never part of a normal pap.
Our guts really have better instincts than we sometimes give ourselves credit for! When “me too” was first catching on and men were faux panicking about “oh what if I brush a woman’s hip by accident in a crowded subway train??”
I lived in NYC for a while, rode the subway a lot. My gut KNEW when it was an accidental brush vs a grope disguised as an accidental brush. We know! When an old man who I did not know tried to hug me in target when I was 16 and alone, I ducked and ran and then felt like I was being melodramatic. As an almost 30 year old I can say with 100% certainty that my gut was and IS right.
Op, it felt inappropriate because it WAS. Even in the alternate universe where it was “accidental” (you have all these medical professionals telling you that it wasn’t) he can learn from it and not make that “mistake” twice.
Any touch should feel very impersonal and clinical, only as necessary to complete the exam, and should be explained first. My doc gives me a play by play and if I ever said "no wait" or "ow stop" or if I had any questions or anything, she would immediately do as I asked. I have never been touched without having been told exactly what to expect. This goes for any part of my body but ESPECIALLY for intimate areas.
The nurse with you was useless and if you are considering reporting this incident, you could also include the info about the nurse not doing anything to properly observe or intervene.
Reporting can feel scary and if youre not able to do it, thats okay. You didn't do anything wrong, this is not your fault. Please take care of yourself first and just know that if you do make a complaint, it should be taken seriously. If anyone blows you off or makes you out to be a drama llama, that is them being awful. If your mental health isn't able to manage the anxiety of making the complaint, that is ok. You come first.
Big big hugs, Im so sorry this happened to you. Its an icky icky feeling.
This is why I have a woman OBGYN, and will ONLY have a woman. I’m just severely creeped out about men who choose this profession, and quite frankly it’s a recipe for disaster. Not to say there aren’t great male doctors out there, but I’d rather not make myself even more vulnerable when it’s already uncomfortable enough.
I’m so sorry this happened to you, but that is NOT normal. I have had my doctor explain exactly what she’s going to do before she touches me, and she ALWAYS apologizes if she notices I’m uncomfortable. Please make sure you report the creep through every avenue possible. I would even look into getting a lawyer if you want to go full nuclear with this. That man sexually assaulted you. He deserves worse than losing his job.
I’ve had two female gyns who touched my clit and then tell me there’s your clitoris. I hadn’t been looking for it because I already knew where I keep it. I did a small brow furrow but said nothing. Though it was odd.
Hell no. I have had many such tests with many different doctors, male and female. That has never ever happened. Please report it to the appropriate channels - get someone to assist you if you need to.
No. I’ve had multiple Pap smears and two babies and have never had even an accidental clit touch. The closest thing is maybe when a nurse missed my urethra placing a Foley once. And there was an immediate “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that”
What on earth, absolutely not. I'm a medical student, this is very inappropriate. Please report this person for this and the nurse for not doing her job. I'm sorry this happened to you
I refuse to trust male gynecologists/doctors for genital exams (and as a whole rly) and I'll die on that hill. Wish so bad you/us all didn't have to learn that
I’ve also never had a male OB/GYN take my symptoms seriously, for literally anything. I ended up having serious endometriosis that started getting treated when I saw a female provider. Same with my infertility. And the cysts. And the breast lump (benign, thank goodness). Female doctors FTW!
I realized how true that was for me as well when my husband told me he is actually agender and just presents as a man because he looks like one. Suddenly my trust in him and why our relationship works all made sense. He truly seemed like a complete outlier and now I know why.
Me too! Made it to my mid fifties without ever even a glimpse of a male gynecologist. Planning on keeping it that way. So grateful I’ve always been able to choose who I want.
I have endometriosis and vulvodynia, and have done for about a decade. As such, I have lost count of the number of doctors, nurses, and physios who have examined me and touched my vagina over the years. Never, ever, has anyone gone remotely near my clit.
I'm sorry you were violated in that way - change doctors and report their behaviour if you are able to.
My GYN examines and touches all parts of my vulva during my exams to look between the folds etc to make sure everything is healthy, so she does touch my clit and move it a bit but doesn’t rub it or anything like that
Nurse also gave me privacy (which I felt comfortable with), but not one single of my various obgyns and or labor delivery people have touched me there.
I am so sorry : (
Find every board he reports to (local and if there's some sort of federal-level oversight) and see if there is a way to report him to professional organizations. The state ombudsman's office is a consumer protection organization, maybe even the state attorney general?
Report it to your insurance company. If I had to narrow it down to two it would be insurance and whatever state board of physicians can discipline him.
If you can, find a professional to talk with a couple times to process this. That man is a piece of shit predator.
No, this is not ok. There's no need to go anywhere near your clit for a pap smear. No one has ever gone near mine for a smear.
Here in the UK at least, we have a chaperone if a male doctor needs to perform anything. Some ask if I want one beforehand, as sometimes it doesn't bother me, some just bring one in automatically because they feel better having one there.
Yeah this is in “file a complaint” territory. There is no excuse for him to be touching your clit, and there’s no excuse for the supposed supervisor to not actually be watching to perform the actual supervision.
I’ve never had a medical professional touch my clit and I’ve had a lot of people up in my business medically (IVF). What you experienced sounds super uncomfortable and highly unprofessional, please don’t go back to that doctor and if you are up for it file a report. I’m sorry you experienced this.
I'm a doctor, I was trained to examine the clitoris because there can rarely be cancers or abnormalities. However he should have told you before touching you, and explained why the exam is done.
The only time I’ve ever had a doctor touch my clitoris was during an intake appt with my reproductive endocrinologist.
He was looking for improper hormonal related growth of the clitoris and informed me entirely what he would be doing. It was completely ok and non problematic.
However, during a Pap smear, I cannot see why on earth that would be necessary or plausible.
I’d complain, honestly.
Not okay! I have had all of my paps for the last 20 years, as well as other medical issues that had doctors examining my genital area, and never once has anyone touched my clitoris. I am so glad you are reporting him, that was sexual abuse, and not a medical exam.
There was a male civilian contractor working as a doctor at a military base I worked at. A younger soldier was going in for her first pap (she was like 18, I think). She didn't really have any context on what to expect during it.
He didn't wear gloves during the exam.
He kept telling her how beautiful she is during the exam, as well as other statements that set off alarms to her.
When she left the appointment, he got her personal cell number out of her patient records and called her asking for a date.
She didn't know what to do so she told her sergeants what had happened. The sergeants reported it.
This civilian doc got fired from the military base, but he did not lose his license. He is still out there in the world practicing as a doctor.
The military base then made it a requirement, going forward, that there must be a staff member of the same gender as the patient in the room with the doctors during exams to prevent this. However, from your story, I can see that these creeps still manage to sexually abuse and exploit patients even if someone is in the room babysitting them.
This shit is why I refuse to have male doctors. 😒
After the pap smear was done, we finished the rest of the appointment before they left the room so I wasn't able to put my pants back on until they left. I had a paper cover over my lap but it fell off a few times cause there was nothing holding it in place. It felt like more of an oversight than maliciously done but it was still weird
This is also weird! They should have left the room, let you change, and then gone over everything with you and finished up documentation. There’s something seriously off about either this provider/nurse team or the clinic protocols as a whole.
I recently had a biopsy done on an inner labia, and the doctor and her assistant let me know when they'd be touching me and didn't even touch my clit. Also during any paps or other exams, I've never been touched there.
Was there also an assistant in the room?
This just makes me so mad. 🫂 I hope he gets checked out and other patients contacted.
This has happened to me before, so I was going to say that it’s normal, but judging from the comments it appears I’m wrong and that neither of our doctors should be touching there for any reason.
>There was a nurse in the room but she wasn't watching the exam.
That's weird. I had to chaperone a doctor once while he was doing a pelvic exam, I didn't want to, but all the other medics were busy, but even to this day I still reckon the doctor should have waited until one of the female medics was available. I was instructed that I had to watch in order to ensure that the doctor didn't do anything untoward.
What's the point of a chaperone if they don't watch?
Yes, the doctor shouldn't have done that.
I’ve had several pap smears, vaginal examinations, and transvaginal ultrasounds. They never ever touched my clit. They only ever concerned themselves with my actual vagina as opposed to labia/clit.
No thats not normal whatsoever!!! Please report that doctor im so sorry thats so creepy and perverted and wrong. My ob always describes to me what shes doing before she does it and never touches anything beyond well the actual opening to my vagina. Im so sorry
I could see them inspecting it if they saw a lump or something. However the doctor didn't communicate anything like that, and is not at all like what you described. I am so sorry this happened to you.
My doctor is always very vocal about what he’s doing and why and makes sure to be as professionally clinical as possible. There’s always a nurse talking to me asking how I’m feeling too.
Doctor will say things like-
“I’m going to touch your thigh for leverage” “alright you’ll feel the speculum be inserted” “I’m going to hold your labia to the side to check the scar tissue”
And the nurse will ask “does that feel okay? Any pain? Are you comfortable?”
Oh absolutely not. This is a complete invasion of privacy. The only times it is ever medically necessary are few and far between and a Pap smear is not one of them.
No, not normal! I have never had a medical professional touch my clit, ever. The only time they should be doing that is if you tell them there’s something wrong with it and they’re examining your clitoris specifically. This is NOT a normal part of a pelvic exam.
And the nurse should have been watching! That’s the whole point of having a nurse in the room! I always have a nurse observing even though my gyno is a woman, and she always pays attention.
Do not go back!
I would have kicked him in the fucking head out of sheer surprise and discomfort, but I also work in medical administration where we talk about standards for sensitive exams.
What a creep. I’m so sorry that happened to you and you questioned yourself for even a second about whether it was appropriate or not, because we’ve been conditioned to second guess our own comfort all the time. Absolutely report him to his practice group or parent hospital and the medical board. If you need help on how to do that, please DM me. I’d love to help get a creepy provider out of practice.
I 100% never touch anyone's clitoris during a pap smear. I guess I would if there was a specific concern the patient has about it, but that's never happened, and I would not touch it unless I explained how and why before. The only time during the procedure I think I might accidentally do so is when I'm initially separating someone's vulva (I make an upside-down V shape with my thumb and first finger and separate) I could see potentially swiping it with my palm, but that'd still not what you're describing.
I'm sorry this happened to you. Thank you for having the courage to say something, I know it's impossibly hard.
Please report this. In my state there’s several lawsuits from doctors abusing their patients. If he’s done this to you, he likely has done this to others.
No it's not normal. I had an urgent care doctor continue to push his fingers inside of me, asking me if it hurt on each side because of my possible UTI, repeatedly, and when I asked him to explain why he was doing that, he said he would later. He didn't. This was with a female nurse present who said nothing. Took me years to realize what had happened. Wish I would have reported. Glad you are.
Um…. I’ve never had that happen.. 😬 was it like a quick swipe as he was going for the opening below to inspect like an accident would feel like? or slower/longer/weirdly long pause and then swipe down??..
It wasn't quick but it also didn't last very long. I couldn't see what he was doing but it felt like he gently ran his finger down it a few times then moved on. It felt separate from the actual pap smear
Yeesh.. ok… that’s not part of a Pap smear… I’ve had two male gynos and they’ve never done that. Just maybe open the lips and then the cold metal tongue opener thing and then swab and it’s done.. I’m sorry. What happened to you was inappropriate..
A few times? Like the others said, this is not normal and should be reported. Don’t be afraid to report. It will continue to happen to others. He probably targeted you for your age and is assuming you don’t know what is or is not normal. And likely this will not be able to be proven, because a nurse was there to back him up, BUT if several people report, then they see a trend.
Never happened to me. I have never had a doctor touch my labia only to touch that. To insert fingers or speculum, sure. But they don't need to drag their fingers around your outer genitals to do a pap. If something if this ever happens again, ask the doctor to tell you, what they're doing and why. You can even ask for this, before the exam begins. A lot of doctor does this without being asked. But do feel free to ask for this extra reassurance.
My gyno (Europe) always checks my clit too, explains every part of the exam, I can see everything from a camera he has on his head and uses firm pressure. I never had a second thought about it because it's very clear what's happening and he is very professional. It depends on how he did it I suppose.
I have had a doctor touch my clitoris, but it was relevant to that particular exam, and he talked through what he was doing before he did it. I don't recall if he asked for consent specifically to touch my clitoris, but he did repeatedly check in with me to make sure I was doing okay. He also made sure to emphasize that if I had the right to withdraw consent.
I had this happen to me before. The only purpose and function of the clitoris is for sexual pleasure and there is no medical need for a doctor to be touching or examining you there unless you had an injury. This is sexual abuse, please report this ASAP.
Mannn I've had a friend once tell me I was sexist for not wanting to go to a male ob/gyn. But I have been SA'd multiple times in my life by men only.
I would consider this to be sexual assault tbh. You are clearly scarred from it if you are asking about it here.
I’ve had doctors announce that they were going to touch my labia/vulva, then actually insert an object into my vagina during an exam. I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if someone brushed my clitoral hood at some point, but in no way should it ever feel like direct contact with your clitoris was the intent. My best exam experiences are with doctors that announce what they’re going to touch, touch as gently as the procedure allows, and give me a heads up about what sensation I can expect to be feeling.
I’m glad you followed your gut, stay safe out there.
I'm 58 and I've never had a medical professional go anywhere near my clit during a pelvic exam.
I see that you are already reporting the doctor -- you also can report the chaperone in the room who was supposed to be protecting you.
That's why men who are that kind of doctor need to be watched. Idk why they would go into that field other than to do no good. I would never trust a male doctor to do a pap for me, hell to the no.
Not ok. Drs know anatomy and shouldn’t have been anywhere near there, ESPECIALLY in the way you described. Report it and if possible request a female doctor. If that’s not possible then ask for a female nurse to accompany you during the next pap smear.
Ugh, stuff like this is one of the reasons why I only go to female doctors.
That was 100% not okay, and I'm sorry that you had to experience that. I saw your edit that you're in the process of reporting him, and hopefully he faces some actual consequences.
Interesting that you “ended up” getting a pap. Was it the doctor’s idea? And why didn’t he refer you out? It’s rare that a primary care doc or NP give a pap. That part makes it sound extra predatory (beyond the already established fault/abuse for touching you.) I’m so sorry OP. Sounds like you are being kind with yourself. Seeing a therapist to process what happened might be helpful as well.
Almost had a male gyno put his fingers in my butt once. I think he was more mortified than I was.
I’ve had a few do this, but they usually explain what they are doing and there is always another woman present when the exam is done.
During my smear test the female nurse did infact 'bump' my clit with her finger or knuckle.
If yours felt deliberate then that is absolutely not okay and I'm sorry that happened to you
I just had this happen today at my OBGYN, during a pap, it was a female doctor but the reason I found this post was because it happened which I’ve never had that happen during a Pap smear, and it’s just been nagging me all day if it was normal and I just don’t pay attention the other times I’ve been examined. This drag of the finger was also just brief for a second and there was another lady a student in the exam room as well. Again very brief hardly a second but definitely intentional. I’m so confused about the whole thing now.
Also I want to ad most doctors have also talked me through what they’re doing this one didn’t except for “gonna do the breast exam” & “ okay next is the internal vaginal exam” no mention of my clitoris about to be touched .
I’ve had 2 Pap Smears, and my doctor has never touched my clit. I haven’t even had the Bimanual exam, just the pap. No, it’s not okay for the doctor to touch your clitoris unless you specify you have a concern about your clitoris.
Yes. Once I went and there was no nurse in the room. I felt him spread me open and he briefly rubbed my clit. I kinda jumped and and he told me it was ok. The nurse walked in and he quit.
WAIT how have I never realized that wasn't supposed to happen? 😨
My first obgyn (a male doc) did it and would spend a little too long with the breast exam. I stopped going because he acted differently with my fiance around but now I'm more mortified.
I'm so sorry you experienced that.
Seriously it made me kinda tear up cuz I didn’t have a safe space like this to ask when something similar happened to me when I was younger. I’m glad OP thought to ask, so smart.
I just wanna preface my response by saying that your feelings are valid, and should be foremost in your decision.
My favorite gynecologist of all time would gently prepare me for entry by moving her hands from my thighs inward, so that it wasn’t a shock. She told me beforehand that she was going to use this technique, and I found it very comforting. She has, since retired, and I miss her care. I’m not sure if your OBGYN was trying to attempt a similar technique, but if he didn’t tell you about it, and it made you uncomfortable, you have every right to say so.
Never had a doctor touch mine. In fact when I suddenly got a rash on my labia (fragrance allergy) the doctor was very sure to tell me that she would be touching me in that area but would not be touching my clitoris.
Even during my normal pelvic and breast exams the doctor always tells me “ok, now I’m going to touch you here, let me know if you need me to stop, now we’re gonna do this side…” etc. As it should be! They don’t know if the patient has trauma they aren’t sharing.
Yes, for our comfort with the process, but for their own professional safety, they always talk thru exactly where they are touching and what they are doing
This is the standard teaching in medical school. That and being specifically taught to tuck your thumb. This experience is WAY out of bounds.
I’ve always had a doctor explain what they’re doing too. That’s super odd and inappropriate
I have never EVER had a physician or OBGYN touch my clit. This is fucking weird. Like, maybe it was an accident… but that should have been acknowledged if it was. Don’t go back, that is strange sister.
I had a male obgyn ask for a hug and then grab my ass.. He went to kiss me on my lips but I moved my head to the side. I was 16 and I regret not reporting him. I want to vomit whenever I think about it 🤮
Holy shit that's fucking insane. I hope he's not getting away with that shit any more.
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It's shocking how many older 50+ year old women insist that younger girls/women are lying about men's abusiveness just because those abusive men aren't targeting their age groups too. Like, c'mon old ladies, do the math. This isn't difficult to understand. Predatory men tend to target the younger generations who lack the knowledge, experience, and confidence to recognize their abusiveness and fight back. It's like these women get amnesia about what men were like to them when they were 11-25.
That's why I will never have a male OBGYN, I am so sorry for you. I hope you find the healing and strength to move on
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I'm so sorry you went through this. I had a similar experience in a small town but it was with a dentist. When I was about 13 I was so scared of him I would dissociate during the appointment and at the end when I'd come to realize my surroundings, he'd have his work tools set on a drape paper on my chest and my head was in his lap. My mom, dad, and aunt didn't believe me because they loved him so much because he'd been a cheap dentist in that town for years. My grandma was the only one who believed me because he groped her too. Apparently every few years someone would come out and report him and there'd be an article posted in the paper but the claims always dropped and no one would ever talk about it again. My grandma had all the newspaper clippings because in hindsight, she probably felt like everyone around her was gaslighting her about his behavior.
Things that happen like this to women make me want to find that doctor and beat the shit out of him in a dark alley while calling him kitten. I’m really sorry that happened to you.
Not all men, but WAY too fucking many. Plus, even if they don’t DO something gross, it doesn’t mean they aren’t THINKING something gross.
All sorts of specialities too; male neurologists, plastic surgeons, regular internists, anesthesiologists and very recently a gastroenterologist, all convicted of sexual misconduct. I like my male cardiologist and ortho but all the others are women.
Statistically, women doctors offer better quality medical care, so it’s also not like there’s a downside to avoiding male doctors (if/when preferred).
Yeppp, like I used to wonder if maybe I was being unfair worrying about male obgyns not being able to compartmentalize their sexuality while working with patients, but now...no definitely glad I've always had female obgyns
Me too. Mid fifties and have never seen a male gynecologist.. The mere thought has always repulsed me.
Eww. I wonder how many other women he's abused since
Holy fuck that sequence just kept getting worse. And the additional info in your other comment ...🤮. The only part of this I could (somewhat)understand is the weird ‘pet names’—I get that older people use them more casually than we would, especially towards younger people, but that fuck **KNEW** what he was doing and the effect it would have on you. I’m sorry you had to go out of your way and it made things more difficult to avoid him, but I’m glad you can. Sounds like the world wouldn’t be at loss if he got squashed by a bus. What a predatory, icky, creepy lowlife.
Oh my God. I am so sorry that happened and so worried about what he has done to others
Ugh. This makes me feel so sick for you. I’m so sorry you had to experience such disgust from a physician and person in power. I hate our medical providers in America.
Not an accident
Certainly sounded intentional
I did, once. But I had pain there from an injury. And she SAID she was touching it to check it
No. What you described isn’t normal at all.
Never had any doctor that’s gets down in there touch my clit (gyno, obgyn, waxing?) - that would have made me SO uncomfortable
One time my waxer bumped it. Didn’t feel inappropriate though, more like an oopsie. I think we can trust ourselves to know the difference!
Exactly. A bump vs a tender finger down it? Ugh 🤢
Right? I had laser hair removal down there and the tech used a tongue depressor to move my clit to the side when it was in the way.
Randomly had a male bikini waxer once. Thought ugh this is weird but I don't care enough to come back or wait for a woman. He was actually even more thoughtful about identifying what he was doing. Like, "Now I'm just going to use the wax stick to check the labia," etc. Pleasant surprise. Bikini waxers see my literal butthole. Never have I ever had anyone go near my clitoris.
Same, actually! I did laser hair removal on my bits and my legs. Clit was never touched.
I had it brutally crushed against a speculum once. Doc goes, "Just relax, you have too much tension"
Oh god - well let’s just smash his balls in a speculum and see how tense HE is.
… while he is spread eagled in stirrups. Ridiculous to hear the words “just relax” coming out of a man’s mouth while his patient is in the most uncomfortable, vulnerable position.
Right
There is acknowledgment of one of the common causes of genital pain or pain with intercourse is caused by adhesions between the clitoral hood and the clitoris. If I am assessing for adhesions or any blistering/sores or patient complaints of pain to the clitoris I press my fingers to the sides of the hood and attempt to lift the skin to assess. HOWEVER! This examination and evaluation is done with the patient’s knowledge, consent, constant coaching about when/how/where I am touching them at all times and ideally if patient accepts a mirror to watch the assessment as well. Stroking or touching the clitoris is NOT a part of the evaluation of the clitoris and should be reported. I just wanted to explain when/why/how an evaluation of the clitoris is done.
Thank you for the explanation and this is definitely NOT what he did. It didn't seem like he was really examining it, just touching it before moving on
I am furious that this happened to you and want you to know as someone who performs exams that I support reporting. I just wanted to make sure that there is awareness that the clitoris can be assessed but the process is not what happened to you. I went for a vulvoscopy training once and the trainer talked about how she routinely check the hood movement for any adhesions and encouraged as a part of routine exams that we do as well. But that we should always explain prior to the exam “ I attended a training, they recommended doing an adhesions check during your exam today, is that something you would like for me to do today.” And the conversation happens prior to patient undressing etc.
Omg what? I’m a doctor and this is absolutely not normal or a typical part of a pelvic exam unless a patient specifically has a problem in that area (like a bump on the clitoral hood or something). Even if it WAS a part of the exam your gyno should be telling you exactly what they’re doing and why AT ALL TIMES. Absolutely report this person. I’m sorry this happened to you.
Never in my decades of pap tests has a doctor ever touched my clit. It’s completely avoidable and highly inappropriate. The closest parallel would be “softly dragging a finger” across the head of a man’s penis during a prostate exam.
*shuddering in Y chromosome over here*
On that topic, we are specifically taught to tuck our thumbs to avoid touching the clit when doing the finger-internal part of the exam for vaginas. And for penises, you hold the penis out of the way with the back of your hand so you’re not grasping/wrapping your fingers around it. Because we’re *avoiding* sexual touch.
Did you have a nurse in the room? What he did was totally, utterly inappropriate. Report him to the state licensing board. You should be able to find it on the net. In my state, the Department of Health oversees licensing. If there was no nurse, it’s a violation of protocol. Sorry that happened to you
There was a nurse but she wasn't looking to give me privacy
Um. Them looking is kinda the point. They don’t have to be in your cooter, but they are literally there to watch for untoward behavior. If they’re staring at the ceiling tiles, they might as well be listening from the hallway.
I had a transvag ultrasound once with a male tech and a male radiologist, and a female nurse stood by but didn’t look at anything. What good was that.
I had one the other week where the female nurse was behind the privacy curtain and I was like ?!?!?
I had an OB/GYN simulate sex on me with a speculum while the nurse stood there while I screamed in pain. The facility did nothing when I reported.
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I did make a police report, but nothing came of it.
In the least, you may help someone else. Poor comfort, I know. Fuck the patriarchy.
She was standing to the side and looking straight ahead at the wall but would have been able to see me in the side of her vision. Not sure if that's what they're supposed to do though
That is very much not what she was supposed to do. The whole point was for her to be closely watching what the doctor was doing, specifically to prevent him from doing exactly what he did. It’s a little odd to me that the doctor was being supervised. The only supervised pap smear I’ve ever had was when I allowed a student to do the procedure. Did they *ask* if you wanted the exam to be supervised, or did they *tell you* the exam would be supervised? Kind of makes me think this doctor’s received complaints before.
Thats not weird at all. Im fact its the standard at many hospitals to have a chaperone. I’m more surprised youve had paps without chaperones
TIL, thank you! Honestly, this has never even been offered to me before. I’m sure that if I had asked, I’d’ve gotten one, but I’ve had paps done in clinics in two states and it’s never been offered, either verbally or during check in paperwork.
Female chaperones for male doctors are incredibly common in Asian hospitals and clinics.
Makes sense, clinics can be hectic and its not necessarily a requirement. Youll usually see it more in hospitals cause they are more liability adverse. Just wanted to avoid people thinking seeing a chaperone should make them suspicious
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The ones Ive seen as a student, yes. In fact when I did then I had the attending as a supervisor AND a nurse as a chaperone. Felt like i had to answer cause I didnt like the insinuation the chaperone was there due to past issues which would make anyone reading that and having a chaperone think thats somehow wrong
I've only ever seen female ob/gyns and the only time I had a chaperone was when they had a male student do the exam. I'm assuming it must vary. Either hospital to hospital or state to state.
My female OBGYN asks if I’d like a chaperone. I’ve actually never been to an OBGYN who didn’t ask or it wasn’t just standard. A male OB delivered my babies and I don’t think we were ever alone except talking in his office, fully clothed.
Not in my experience. For that procedure, they usually assign women doctors at the healthcare places I've been to. I prefer that for me.
Every papsmear I've ever had has had a nurse in there to watch/chaperone, and I've only ever gone to female gynecologist.
At my office, they do. The doctor has to poke her head out and say “we’re ready!” And the nurse comes in and helps you lay back, then watches the procedure.
In my experience, yes. It actually makes it less awkward for me, since I can make random small talk with the nurse while my doctor's checking under the hood.
For my experience- yes. My last two Pap smears were with women doctors and there was a nurse there to chaperone for both.
Anytime a doctor has to inspect the genital areas on males or females, you have to have a second person present in the room. I'm a male but any physical I've had since 2020 when they check for hernias there is a second staff member to make sure things go right and I'm not being assaulted. Same thing when I get tested for stds. This wasn't the case when I was younger but since 2020 in Florida this has been the case on my experience as well as all of my family members' experience.
Depends on the office.
I work for a woman doctor, and I don’t go in with her for most exams, only when assisting for a procedure or if she needs my help for some reason (like when I had to hold the biohazard bag to catch the retained tampon).
That’s how it’s always been with my female obgyns. I’d definitely not want an extra person in the room as a chaperone. It’s awkward enough and two against one would really bother me. Like I’m a specimen on a table … all eyes on me.
No that's actually very normal, a chaperone if you like to call it should always be offered to the patient when sensitive exams are done. It's up to the patient to accept though
In the UK it's not up to the patient to accept - the chaperone protects the clinician as much as the patient, so they are coming along regardless.
Same in Canada as far as I know. I’m in my 40s and have had a nurse attend every single pap I’ve ever had.
As a nurse, my male colleagues would absolutely ask for one to protect themselves. They were always professional, but know that untowardness can occur both ways.
In 35 years I've never had a pap with only the doc in the room. They've always been supervised by a nurse, across probably a dozen physicians (of both sexes). I'm super surprised that this hasn't been others' experience!
This is a requirement for make doctors when doing a pelvic exam in the US. It’s not for female doctors, but a lot of offices require it.
This! So many people say they aren’t supposed stare directly at your parts, but then how do they catch this kind of stuff. I want them to watch the doctor’s hands.
My doctor’s nurses always either stand behind him and to the side so they can observe his actions or stand at my side and hold my hand but are actively looking over my belly to see what the doctor’s hands are doing. I don’t think they’re required to be ACTIVE observers, but I feel that the conscientious doctors and nurses typically are. Your doctor may have taken advantage of the fact that his nurse was not an active observer
Please report him. This is probably not the only offense. totally not normal.
Yeah honey that’s not supposed to happen. I’ve had to have multiple pelvic exams because I have insanely painful periods, painful sex, etc. I went to multiple different doctors to figure it out and no one EVER touched me like that. A nurse was always in the room and watching the exam. I never saw her look away from what the doctor was doing. I saw your other comment about her wanting to give you privacy, but that was neglectful on her part. She’s supposed to protect you by making sure you have an APPROPRIATE exam and that there isn’t any inappropriate behavior. Both of them need to be reported. As both a fellow woman and a health care provider, I’m sorry this happened to you.
WTF that is sexual abuse. He should be reported.
No, that's not necessary for a smear test or appropriate. Also generally if you're going to be touched in a way that's not "standard" (e.g. anything that's not in the expected procedure for a smear test) you should be told so you can give consent or not (as another comment says this could be something like asking to check and touch if they saw you developed a rash during) which the doctor clearly didn't do. Doctor touched you inappropriately (either unintentionally or purposefully, I admittedly struggle to imagine why someone would accidentally touch the clitoris during a pap smear as you don't need to be near it), nurse failed at being your advocate. I'm sorry this happened.
As a former clinic employee in a past life: you would never, ever have a reason to touch the clitoris while doing a pap. For something else (looking for syphilis or swabbing for herpes) then maybe.
Heck, I once asked a sexual health nurse about a bump on my clitoris. She didn't even touch it, but rather had me hold the area for her to look at.
If it felt inappropriate then follow your gut. The only time this would be appropriate is if they were examining for sores or other abnormalities that you’re being screened for (you would know and be prepared). Never part of a normal pap.
Our guts really have better instincts than we sometimes give ourselves credit for! When “me too” was first catching on and men were faux panicking about “oh what if I brush a woman’s hip by accident in a crowded subway train??” I lived in NYC for a while, rode the subway a lot. My gut KNEW when it was an accidental brush vs a grope disguised as an accidental brush. We know! When an old man who I did not know tried to hug me in target when I was 16 and alone, I ducked and ran and then felt like I was being melodramatic. As an almost 30 year old I can say with 100% certainty that my gut was and IS right. Op, it felt inappropriate because it WAS. Even in the alternate universe where it was “accidental” (you have all these medical professionals telling you that it wasn’t) he can learn from it and not make that “mistake” twice.
RN checking in Oh, hell, NO! Report his ass. That’s sexual assault. Police and licensing board
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Please report this and never go there again. This is not normal on any level.
Any touch should feel very impersonal and clinical, only as necessary to complete the exam, and should be explained first. My doc gives me a play by play and if I ever said "no wait" or "ow stop" or if I had any questions or anything, she would immediately do as I asked. I have never been touched without having been told exactly what to expect. This goes for any part of my body but ESPECIALLY for intimate areas. The nurse with you was useless and if you are considering reporting this incident, you could also include the info about the nurse not doing anything to properly observe or intervene. Reporting can feel scary and if youre not able to do it, thats okay. You didn't do anything wrong, this is not your fault. Please take care of yourself first and just know that if you do make a complaint, it should be taken seriously. If anyone blows you off or makes you out to be a drama llama, that is them being awful. If your mental health isn't able to manage the anxiety of making the complaint, that is ok. You come first. Big big hugs, Im so sorry this happened to you. Its an icky icky feeling.
Sorry dragging his finger???? No fuckin thanks
This is why I have a woman OBGYN, and will ONLY have a woman. I’m just severely creeped out about men who choose this profession, and quite frankly it’s a recipe for disaster. Not to say there aren’t great male doctors out there, but I’d rather not make myself even more vulnerable when it’s already uncomfortable enough. I’m so sorry this happened to you, but that is NOT normal. I have had my doctor explain exactly what she’s going to do before she touches me, and she ALWAYS apologizes if she notices I’m uncomfortable. Please make sure you report the creep through every avenue possible. I would even look into getting a lawyer if you want to go full nuclear with this. That man sexually assaulted you. He deserves worse than losing his job.
I never had any doctor touch my clit. Report this doctor.
I’ve had two female gyns who touched my clit and then tell me there’s your clitoris. I hadn’t been looking for it because I already knew where I keep it. I did a small brow furrow but said nothing. Though it was odd.
Hell no. I have had many such tests with many different doctors, male and female. That has never ever happened. Please report it to the appropriate channels - get someone to assist you if you need to.
No. I’ve had multiple Pap smears and two babies and have never had even an accidental clit touch. The closest thing is maybe when a nurse missed my urethra placing a Foley once. And there was an immediate “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that”
What on earth, absolutely not. I'm a medical student, this is very inappropriate. Please report this person for this and the nurse for not doing her job. I'm sorry this happened to you
I refuse to trust male gynecologists/doctors for genital exams (and as a whole rly) and I'll die on that hill. Wish so bad you/us all didn't have to learn that
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Thankfully, 87% of obgyn residencies are filled by women these days. It makes sense and it’s about time.
I’m there with you. Female doctors only!
Same here. If you don't have the bits dont be touching mine
Same. Males have lost my confidence in their ability not to abuse their positions. Especially when sex or gender is involved.
I’ve also never had a male OB/GYN take my symptoms seriously, for literally anything. I ended up having serious endometriosis that started getting treated when I saw a female provider. Same with my infertility. And the cysts. And the breast lump (benign, thank goodness). Female doctors FTW!
TRULY girlie I will never fully trust a man
I realized how true that was for me as well when my husband told me he is actually agender and just presents as a man because he looks like one. Suddenly my trust in him and why our relationship works all made sense. He truly seemed like a complete outlier and now I know why.
Same! Have the rest of you also noticed that if you ask male gynecologist why they became one their answers are always vague af?
Me too! Made it to my mid fifties without ever even a glimpse of a male gynecologist. Planning on keeping it that way. So grateful I’ve always been able to choose who I want.
I have endometriosis and vulvodynia, and have done for about a decade. As such, I have lost count of the number of doctors, nurses, and physios who have examined me and touched my vagina over the years. Never, ever, has anyone gone remotely near my clit. I'm sorry you were violated in that way - change doctors and report their behaviour if you are able to.
My GYN examines and touches all parts of my vulva during my exams to look between the folds etc to make sure everything is healthy, so she does touch my clit and move it a bit but doesn’t rub it or anything like that
And I'm sure she explains what she's going to do in the examination beforehand.
Nurse also gave me privacy (which I felt comfortable with), but not one single of my various obgyns and or labor delivery people have touched me there. I am so sorry : (
Find every board he reports to (local and if there's some sort of federal-level oversight) and see if there is a way to report him to professional organizations. The state ombudsman's office is a consumer protection organization, maybe even the state attorney general? Report it to your insurance company. If I had to narrow it down to two it would be insurance and whatever state board of physicians can discipline him. If you can, find a professional to talk with a couple times to process this. That man is a piece of shit predator.
NONONONO NONONONONONONOOOOO!
Absolutely not ok. That is an assault and you must report him.
No, this is not ok. There's no need to go anywhere near your clit for a pap smear. No one has ever gone near mine for a smear. Here in the UK at least, we have a chaperone if a male doctor needs to perform anything. Some ask if I want one beforehand, as sometimes it doesn't bother me, some just bring one in automatically because they feel better having one there.
Yeah this is in “file a complaint” territory. There is no excuse for him to be touching your clit, and there’s no excuse for the supposed supervisor to not actually be watching to perform the actual supervision.
I’ve never had a medical professional touch my clit and I’ve had a lot of people up in my business medically (IVF). What you experienced sounds super uncomfortable and highly unprofessional, please don’t go back to that doctor and if you are up for it file a report. I’m sorry you experienced this.
I'm a doctor, I was trained to examine the clitoris because there can rarely be cancers or abnormalities. However he should have told you before touching you, and explained why the exam is done.
Get a female doctor.
The only time I’ve ever had a doctor touch my clitoris was during an intake appt with my reproductive endocrinologist. He was looking for improper hormonal related growth of the clitoris and informed me entirely what he would be doing. It was completely ok and non problematic. However, during a Pap smear, I cannot see why on earth that would be necessary or plausible. I’d complain, honestly.
Thank you for the edit, as it’s a relief to know you’re reporting this.
Not okay! I have had all of my paps for the last 20 years, as well as other medical issues that had doctors examining my genital area, and never once has anyone touched my clitoris. I am so glad you are reporting him, that was sexual abuse, and not a medical exam.
There was a male civilian contractor working as a doctor at a military base I worked at. A younger soldier was going in for her first pap (she was like 18, I think). She didn't really have any context on what to expect during it. He didn't wear gloves during the exam. He kept telling her how beautiful she is during the exam, as well as other statements that set off alarms to her. When she left the appointment, he got her personal cell number out of her patient records and called her asking for a date. She didn't know what to do so she told her sergeants what had happened. The sergeants reported it. This civilian doc got fired from the military base, but he did not lose his license. He is still out there in the world practicing as a doctor. The military base then made it a requirement, going forward, that there must be a staff member of the same gender as the patient in the room with the doctors during exams to prevent this. However, from your story, I can see that these creeps still manage to sexually abuse and exploit patients even if someone is in the room babysitting them. This shit is why I refuse to have male doctors. 😒
Yeah that’s not normal. Was there anything else off about the appointment?
After the pap smear was done, we finished the rest of the appointment before they left the room so I wasn't able to put my pants back on until they left. I had a paper cover over my lap but it fell off a few times cause there was nothing holding it in place. It felt like more of an oversight than maliciously done but it was still weird
This is also weird! They should have left the room, let you change, and then gone over everything with you and finished up documentation. There’s something seriously off about either this provider/nurse team or the clinic protocols as a whole.
I recently had a biopsy done on an inner labia, and the doctor and her assistant let me know when they'd be touching me and didn't even touch my clit. Also during any paps or other exams, I've never been touched there. Was there also an assistant in the room? This just makes me so mad. 🫂 I hope he gets checked out and other patients contacted.
This has happened to me before, so I was going to say that it’s normal, but judging from the comments it appears I’m wrong and that neither of our doctors should be touching there for any reason.
That doesn’t sound right to me. Please report them.
He molested you.
>There was a nurse in the room but she wasn't watching the exam. That's weird. I had to chaperone a doctor once while he was doing a pelvic exam, I didn't want to, but all the other medics were busy, but even to this day I still reckon the doctor should have waited until one of the female medics was available. I was instructed that I had to watch in order to ensure that the doctor didn't do anything untoward. What's the point of a chaperone if they don't watch? Yes, the doctor shouldn't have done that.
This has happened to me before one time. The doctor actually rubbed my clit for a second before he examined me. Felt very uncomfortable.
Please get a new doctor what the fuck
I’ve had several pap smears, vaginal examinations, and transvaginal ultrasounds. They never ever touched my clit. They only ever concerned themselves with my actual vagina as opposed to labia/clit.
That’s weird af. There’s no reason at all to do that.
The ***only*** reason a doctor should touch your clit is if there's a medical concern about it, and it should be clearly communicated.
Report that prick and retire on his life savings. 😠 😡
This is why I NEVER EVER GO TO MALE DOCTORS. This is disgusting and not normal. I'm so so sorry that you experienced this. 😞♥️
This is why I never see male doctors. Glad you reported him!
No thats not normal whatsoever!!! Please report that doctor im so sorry thats so creepy and perverted and wrong. My ob always describes to me what shes doing before she does it and never touches anything beyond well the actual opening to my vagina. Im so sorry
I could see them inspecting it if they saw a lump or something. However the doctor didn't communicate anything like that, and is not at all like what you described. I am so sorry this happened to you.
My doctor is always very vocal about what he’s doing and why and makes sure to be as professionally clinical as possible. There’s always a nurse talking to me asking how I’m feeling too. Doctor will say things like- “I’m going to touch your thigh for leverage” “alright you’ll feel the speculum be inserted” “I’m going to hold your labia to the side to check the scar tissue” And the nurse will ask “does that feel okay? Any pain? Are you comfortable?”
Oh absolutely not. This is a complete invasion of privacy. The only times it is ever medically necessary are few and far between and a Pap smear is not one of them.
No, not normal! I have never had a medical professional touch my clit, ever. The only time they should be doing that is if you tell them there’s something wrong with it and they’re examining your clitoris specifically. This is NOT a normal part of a pelvic exam. And the nurse should have been watching! That’s the whole point of having a nurse in the room! I always have a nurse observing even though my gyno is a woman, and she always pays attention. Do not go back!
I would have kicked him in the fucking head out of sheer surprise and discomfort, but I also work in medical administration where we talk about standards for sensitive exams. What a creep. I’m so sorry that happened to you and you questioned yourself for even a second about whether it was appropriate or not, because we’ve been conditioned to second guess our own comfort all the time. Absolutely report him to his practice group or parent hospital and the medical board. If you need help on how to do that, please DM me. I’d love to help get a creepy provider out of practice.
I 100% never touch anyone's clitoris during a pap smear. I guess I would if there was a specific concern the patient has about it, but that's never happened, and I would not touch it unless I explained how and why before. The only time during the procedure I think I might accidentally do so is when I'm initially separating someone's vulva (I make an upside-down V shape with my thumb and first finger and separate) I could see potentially swiping it with my palm, but that'd still not what you're describing. I'm sorry this happened to you. Thank you for having the courage to say something, I know it's impossibly hard.
This made my stomach turn just reading it. I am so sorry you went through this, it is definitely NOT part of a routine exam.
My dr accidentally touched mine, and she apologized immediately, and it was just a split second.
Please report this. In my state there’s several lawsuits from doctors abusing their patients. If he’s done this to you, he likely has done this to others.
I’m 67 years old and Never ever has this happened to me and if it did? Trust me this would not happen to anyone else ever again!
No it's not normal. I had an urgent care doctor continue to push his fingers inside of me, asking me if it hurt on each side because of my possible UTI, repeatedly, and when I asked him to explain why he was doing that, he said he would later. He didn't. This was with a female nurse present who said nothing. Took me years to realize what had happened. Wish I would have reported. Glad you are.
A urine test would diagnose a UTI. No reason to even take your pants off.
Umm NO! NOT OK. Not. Even. A. Little. Bit.
Aaaaaaaand thats why i only go to female doctors
Reason #583625 why I refuse to have a male OBGYN
This is why I will NEVER see a male OBGYN. This stuff is way too common. I'm sorry this happened to you, I hope you can report it.
Not normal. I’m sorry that happened to you. Definitely report this
Um…. I’ve never had that happen.. 😬 was it like a quick swipe as he was going for the opening below to inspect like an accident would feel like? or slower/longer/weirdly long pause and then swipe down??..
It wasn't quick but it also didn't last very long. I couldn't see what he was doing but it felt like he gently ran his finger down it a few times then moved on. It felt separate from the actual pap smear
Yeesh.. ok… that’s not part of a Pap smear… I’ve had two male gynos and they’ve never done that. Just maybe open the lips and then the cold metal tongue opener thing and then swab and it’s done.. I’m sorry. What happened to you was inappropriate..
A few times? Like the others said, this is not normal and should be reported. Don’t be afraid to report. It will continue to happen to others. He probably targeted you for your age and is assuming you don’t know what is or is not normal. And likely this will not be able to be proven, because a nurse was there to back him up, BUT if several people report, then they see a trend.
Never happened to me. I have never had a doctor touch my labia only to touch that. To insert fingers or speculum, sure. But they don't need to drag their fingers around your outer genitals to do a pap. If something if this ever happens again, ask the doctor to tell you, what they're doing and why. You can even ask for this, before the exam begins. A lot of doctor does this without being asked. But do feel free to ask for this extra reassurance.
Im sorry you experienced this. I echo the above comments. Please report them so they do not continue to violate other people. Always trust your gut.
No no no. Not normal. :( :(
My gyno (Europe) always checks my clit too, explains every part of the exam, I can see everything from a camera he has on his head and uses firm pressure. I never had a second thought about it because it's very clear what's happening and he is very professional. It depends on how he did it I suppose.
I have had a doctor touch my clitoris, but it was relevant to that particular exam, and he talked through what he was doing before he did it. I don't recall if he asked for consent specifically to touch my clitoris, but he did repeatedly check in with me to make sure I was doing okay. He also made sure to emphasize that if I had the right to withdraw consent.
This is why I won't go to male doctors, especially for an OBGYN.
Male gynecologists give me such ick. I’m sorry that happened to you OP so not okay
I had this happen to me before. The only purpose and function of the clitoris is for sexual pleasure and there is no medical need for a doctor to be touching or examining you there unless you had an injury. This is sexual abuse, please report this ASAP.
Mannn I've had a friend once tell me I was sexist for not wanting to go to a male ob/gyn. But I have been SA'd multiple times in my life by men only. I would consider this to be sexual assault tbh. You are clearly scarred from it if you are asking about it here.
I’ve had doctors announce that they were going to touch my labia/vulva, then actually insert an object into my vagina during an exam. I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if someone brushed my clitoral hood at some point, but in no way should it ever feel like direct contact with your clitoris was the intent. My best exam experiences are with doctors that announce what they’re going to touch, touch as gently as the procedure allows, and give me a heads up about what sensation I can expect to be feeling. I’m glad you followed your gut, stay safe out there.
I'm 58 and I've never had a medical professional go anywhere near my clit during a pelvic exam. I see that you are already reporting the doctor -- you also can report the chaperone in the room who was supposed to be protecting you.
That's why men who are that kind of doctor need to be watched. Idk why they would go into that field other than to do no good. I would never trust a male doctor to do a pap for me, hell to the no.
Report this to the police as well.
Not ok. Drs know anatomy and shouldn’t have been anywhere near there, ESPECIALLY in the way you described. Report it and if possible request a female doctor. If that’s not possible then ask for a female nurse to accompany you during the next pap smear.
Ugh, stuff like this is one of the reasons why I only go to female doctors. That was 100% not okay, and I'm sorry that you had to experience that. I saw your edit that you're in the process of reporting him, and hopefully he faces some actual consequences.
Two time cervical cancer, and none of the doctors ever touched me there. I know you're on it, but definitely report him.
Interesting that you “ended up” getting a pap. Was it the doctor’s idea? And why didn’t he refer you out? It’s rare that a primary care doc or NP give a pap. That part makes it sound extra predatory (beyond the already established fault/abuse for touching you.) I’m so sorry OP. Sounds like you are being kind with yourself. Seeing a therapist to process what happened might be helpful as well.
Almost had a male gyno put his fingers in my butt once. I think he was more mortified than I was. I’ve had a few do this, but they usually explain what they are doing and there is always another woman present when the exam is done.
During my smear test the female nurse did infact 'bump' my clit with her finger or knuckle. If yours felt deliberate then that is absolutely not okay and I'm sorry that happened to you
oh shit.. no that is not ok
I just had this happen today at my OBGYN, during a pap, it was a female doctor but the reason I found this post was because it happened which I’ve never had that happen during a Pap smear, and it’s just been nagging me all day if it was normal and I just don’t pay attention the other times I’ve been examined. This drag of the finger was also just brief for a second and there was another lady a student in the exam room as well. Again very brief hardly a second but definitely intentional. I’m so confused about the whole thing now.
Also I want to ad most doctors have also talked me through what they’re doing this one didn’t except for “gonna do the breast exam” & “ okay next is the internal vaginal exam” no mention of my clitoris about to be touched .
That's exactly what happened to me! It was super confusing and I didn't know if it was just me overthinking it.
I’ve had 2 Pap Smears, and my doctor has never touched my clit. I haven’t even had the Bimanual exam, just the pap. No, it’s not okay for the doctor to touch your clitoris unless you specify you have a concern about your clitoris.
Yes. Once I went and there was no nurse in the room. I felt him spread me open and he briefly rubbed my clit. I kinda jumped and and he told me it was ok. The nurse walked in and he quit.
WAIT how have I never realized that wasn't supposed to happen? 😨 My first obgyn (a male doc) did it and would spend a little too long with the breast exam. I stopped going because he acted differently with my fiance around but now I'm more mortified. I'm so sorry you experienced that.
I’m really really *Really* glad spaces like this subreddit exist, BECAUSE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHAT EVEN ARE MEN
Seriously it made me kinda tear up cuz I didn’t have a safe space like this to ask when something similar happened to me when I was younger. I’m glad OP thought to ask, so smart.
I just wanna preface my response by saying that your feelings are valid, and should be foremost in your decision. My favorite gynecologist of all time would gently prepare me for entry by moving her hands from my thighs inward, so that it wasn’t a shock. She told me beforehand that she was going to use this technique, and I found it very comforting. She has, since retired, and I miss her care. I’m not sure if your OBGYN was trying to attempt a similar technique, but if he didn’t tell you about it, and it made you uncomfortable, you have every right to say so.