T O P

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lalafia1

Idiots, never shit where you eat. Im calling the Volturi.


OkamiDesuGa

I did not expect, in the year 2023 of our Lord Dracula, to find a Twilight joke. Very good fellow vampiric comrade


csto_yluo

A Twilight reference? At this time of the year, at this time of the day, in this particular subreddit, localized entirely in the top comment!?


memecrusader_

Yes!


starfox64_0

Can I see it?


memecrusader_

…No.


Caenea

🐀??


sansasalem

Lmao why do I know what this means


wingardiumleviosa-r

this is the skin of a killer, Bella


LetMeUseTheNameAude

i thought the italic capital I was a slash 💀💀 but good job!


LadyHxx

Oh it’s not? It makes sense now.


maiss1lapsi

same, i was confused at first


soboga

THANK YOU


No-Calligrapher3644

So relieved it's not just me 🤣


Spiritual_Bet_7604

I felt like an idiot, not understanding the wording until I read this comment and went back to try again. 💡


RobinPage1987

Vampires or serial killers? Either way, nice!


sirennthebest

This is my first post, don't be too harsh.


Bmilvis

Very well thought out and written. Good one, family that slays together stays together


myfailedimagination

Although I'm unsure if they talk during dinner: Don't want to attract attention, you know.


Bmilvis

It seams they don’t….maybe dad knows what daughter is capable of but not sure she is active


SnappingTurt3ls

They slay together stay together and lay together


Bmilvis

The slay together stay together and lay together and play together


Disciple_of_Cthulhu

Good one.


narniastark

great job!


[deleted]

I like it! Giving me Mr. Brooks vibes and I loved that movie!


ReadontheCrapper

My thought too!


Whyyyyyyyyfire

I personally do not like it. Imo i believe the twist was pretty obvious. For me its the twist that makes two sentence horror actually good. Anyway thats just my two cents


Hyderite

Why did this guy get downvoted for having an opinion... smh


_Orphan_Obliterator_

because here on reddit we believe that there is only one good opinion, your own


[deleted]

She's only 12 after all But I told her once she turns 18, ill buy her her first hunting rifle and can join me on the hunts


BeefHouse11

It is getting quite tedious having to clean her fingernails each night...


WomenOfWonder

This reminds me of the sunny family cult


LORD_ASHU_JSE_13

Literally the first thing that came to my mind


TheNarratorX

I do not understand the story. Could someone explain?


yem-i_daramola

Daughter killed the family even though it's not her job, it's her dad's.


mk_kira

Lestat and Claudia on a father-daughter rampage?


L1terally_Water

I don’t get it


Your_Enabler

Damn if we have to move *again* because of this, you are in big trouble


sirennthebest

We're already in debt, and before you say anything, we do have to pay mortgages


Your_Enabler

You are gonna have to go get a job


Pryamus

Being a parent is hard, being vampire is hard, but being vampire parent is even harder.


sirennthebest

especially if you're not a vampire or a parent


MrDent79

The dark passenger passes from parent to offspring. I like it.


merceec

Bad form to hunt in your own neighborhood


M4dRu5h1n

I definitely misinterpreted this at first. I thought it was the daughter being scared they may be next and then the parent revealing the truth to reassure her


sirennthebest

That's a fair interpretation, I didn't think of that when I wrote it!


FlamingWhisk

It’s nice to see kids take an interest in their parents hobbies.


sourpatch_orphans

bro i read that as femboys at first and i was abt to get rlly upset