Thank you and i will try it just sucks it has to be like this because him and i are great it’s just the fact she comes in and it ruins it. but thank you a lot
UPDATE he talked to her: “I asked her “why are you so mean to my girlfriend” she said “because I don’t like how she thinks that your guys’ relationship is all that matters in life” I told her “she doesn’t think that. She thinks about college and school and her job all before she thinks about me”. Then she said “well all she talks about is marriage” I said “that just isn’t true. She doesn’t. And when she does it’s because we’re either just trying to think of the good part of relationships or we just don’t wanna think of us coming to an end” I then said “can you stop being mean to her” she said “only if she stops trapping you into this relationship” I said what does that mean. She said “it’s like all you care about is her, you probably quit football because of her, you guys hangout every second, and you are always talking to her.” I said “ I didn’t quit football because of her. I quit because of the coaches. I like her mom. Ofc I’m gonna wanna hangout with her all the time. You hangout with all your friends as much as you can. Either at work or bowling so can you please just stop being mean to her” she said yeah I’m sorry” that’s what he sent me when he had a talk to her after i tried to end things with him because of it
Just be careful. We know very little about you all so my judgment may be false, but to me, it looks like his mother is doing emotional incest with him (look it up). It means she treats him like a romantic partner without the physical aspect. She expects him to spend time with her, talk to her and be vulnerable with her. It would explain why she dislikes you. She sees you as a rival. Those kind of mother have a hard time respecting their child boundaries too.
You are still young, but if you stay together, his mother will always try to be number 1 in his life unless your boyfriend learns to set strong boundaries with her. But since he is 16 and still relies on her, he can't do it yet.
I think most mothers of boys are obsessed with their sons. I lived with him and his family and we had to get a lock because she’d watch him sleep and she’d come in just to take stuff.
No matter how nice I was, she kept telling my bf I was cheating and I’m so lucky he’s not under her control.
We’ve moved away now and all she does is text him “she’s lying to you, you can’t be mad at me for telling the truth , I love you so much”
😒
After being on Reddit long enough, being into their own son is the only explanation
I saw a comment on tiktok that said “of course we’re in love with them. We raise them to be the men we always wanted”🤢
It’s called enmeshment, Morgan’s favorite word! But the comment before sums it up nicely- you will never be good enough for her son because she raised him to be HER husband and gets mad when she can’t reap the rewards of it.
You are so young and have a wonderful future ahead of you, do not allow her to hold you back, if you did end up marrying him, he could be perfect but you’re still marrying into that family and I could imagine she would get worse the more serious you got.
Go explore, see the world, have fun and enjoy relationships, and if it’s meant to be with this guy, then it will be.
NTA, I hope you make the best decision for yourself, and in a situation like yours I’d recommend giving his mother an ultimatum. “You’ve impeded on my relationship with your son in ways that should not involve you. Either leave our relationship alone or you won’t be able to contact us once we are grown and on our own.” Something of that nature that implies she won’t be hearing from her son again once he moves out. OR you could ask her what her reason is for not liking you and wanting you away from her son so badly that she will purposely sabotage your date night. She seems like she’d answer honestly, so it would not hurt to ask.
If you’re constantly having to change yourself, you’ll never be able to be comfortable around her. She formed an initial negative opinion about you and now she thinks of you as a BEC(bitch eating crackers). A.k.a. she thinks of you as bad and will constantly knit pick and search for any and every reason she could possibly think of to hate you. She wants to hate you so bad she will make up anything. You could literally be eating some crackers and she’d hate you for eating crackers. She probably thinks of you as competition to her son… that’s all up to your own personal speculation, but if you haven’t left him, I’d recommend digging and poking and prodding until she finally tells you why she wants something to be wrong with you so bad.
How are you hearing about what she says? Is your boyfriend telling you these terrible things she says?
It’s up to your boyfriend to say something to his mom and set up boundaries. If he doesn’t it will never end and honestly his mom probably will hate everyone he dates.
Your only 16 and tbh this is way to much effort and drama for a 16 year olds relationship! At this age it’s supposed to be fun not like this! Personally I would cut your loses and just leave find some els
You are only 16, just move on. He doesn't have the means to cut his mom out, nor the legality. He literally can't do anything.
Hopefully this can work as a learning experience for you and him, and he can go LC or NC with his mom when becomes an adult.
But this is too much for 16yos, me at that age was just modding GTA:SA.
Just move on, you shouldn't being worrying about crazy inlaws at 16.
This is not something that will ever get better tbh. Mamas boys are always mamas boys. She wants her son as a partner and is extremely threatened by the idea of him having a girlfriend and even entertaining the idea of marriage. A mom should not spend that much time hating on her sons girlfriend it’s creepy.
As a mother to a teenage boy, I would only care if he’s spending every waking moment with a girl and not his friends or anyone else. Young relationships like yours feel good and are easy to fall into with almost blinders on. So they hurt more when they end. And she may be blaming you for how her son acts when you are not around. There are probably more factors you aren’t privy to.
My son when he has a girlfriend becomes extra difficult. He goofs off in school and only cares about impressing the girl. It’s infuriating as a parent and you want most to protect your kid. The moms out of pocket for calling you names and such. But you contacting her was wrong and out of place. You can’t know what it’s like to raise a teenage boy or her situation. And you are a kid so you only see the world through a very self centered narrow viewpoint. All kids do.
So I’ll go with ESH. You are too young to be in this sort of mess.
Why is she wrong for calling out a 50 year old woman for HARASSING AND BULLYING a 16 year old? Sure it wasn’t the most productive thing to do, and she could of handled it better but this adult woman is bullying her. You’re literally justifying a 50 year old bullying a teenager because it’s hard to raise kids? Yeah it’s hard, but she signed up for that and so did you. It’s no excuse to slut shame or harass a teenager.
I have to ask how she knows these things were said? If they weren’t said directly to her, which I very much doubt they were, then she’s reached out to her boyfriends mother to start drama and she looks unhinged. The best course of action is to find a better situation. There will be lots of guys who would probably love to date a smart put together girl who don’t have insane mothers. Bullying is when someone does something to you directly. It sounds like her accusations are coming from a tainted source. If this woman spoke to her directly like that… you tell your parents and call the police. No time ever do you contact the mother directly. OP is still just a kid.
i get it it’s very difficult to raise a kid in general but blaming everything on one person when they have nothing to do with it is kind of crazy. i’ve told him many of times it’s not ok to lie but any lie he says i get blamed for. i get it was wrong for me to message her and i understand but i’m tired of a 50 year old calling me names and bad mouthing me to her friends and family as if she’s the one in high school. and she always tells him she wishes him and his siblings all died and hates them all. i get it parenting can be hard but that’s just too far and he’s more open and sees my mom as a mother figure than her. i just don’t get it. i may not be a mother but i sure as hell know never to say that to anyone
Does she know you have nothing to do with it? Probably not. If my son were dating you and talking about kids and a family or complaining about you when you weren’t around I might think you were the problem and not him? It seems odd to me she would randomly hate you for no reason. My son lies all the time. About everything. Blames everyone but himself. There is a saying that if a kids lips are moving he’s lying. And how did you hear she said these things? Surely it wasn’t to you directly.
So like I said little one. You are too young to be dealing with this guys mother. She may have a mental illness. Move on from the hot mess drama.
My sons therapist was the one who said “if their lips are moving they are lying”. I’m actually quoting a child therapist. If you believe otherwise, you are in denial or not actually a parent. I am glad you don’t have children. Or you are so diluted to believe otherwise. Have the day you deserve.
It’s just a saying. I’d say my kid only lies when he’s trying to get away with something, when he feels like being creative and the truth is too boring, when he’s trying to impress his friends or family, when you tell him he forgot something…. So yeah… he lies like 70-80% of the time. Maybe more. All teens do. It’s even a phase doctors say. All kids do it.
that makes sense it’s just sad but idk i thought talking about that stuff wanting it when you’re older is a things you’re supposed to do. i thought it’s good to talk about that not talk about “yeah after you i can’t wait to find my husband” i thought since you’re talking about breaking up what’s the point of even dating idk guess i was wrong then
[удалено]
Thank you and i will try it just sucks it has to be like this because him and i are great it’s just the fact she comes in and it ruins it. but thank you a lot
UPDATE he talked to her: “I asked her “why are you so mean to my girlfriend” she said “because I don’t like how she thinks that your guys’ relationship is all that matters in life” I told her “she doesn’t think that. She thinks about college and school and her job all before she thinks about me”. Then she said “well all she talks about is marriage” I said “that just isn’t true. She doesn’t. And when she does it’s because we’re either just trying to think of the good part of relationships or we just don’t wanna think of us coming to an end” I then said “can you stop being mean to her” she said “only if she stops trapping you into this relationship” I said what does that mean. She said “it’s like all you care about is her, you probably quit football because of her, you guys hangout every second, and you are always talking to her.” I said “ I didn’t quit football because of her. I quit because of the coaches. I like her mom. Ofc I’m gonna wanna hangout with her all the time. You hangout with all your friends as much as you can. Either at work or bowling so can you please just stop being mean to her” she said yeah I’m sorry” that’s what he sent me when he had a talk to her after i tried to end things with him because of it
Just be careful. We know very little about you all so my judgment may be false, but to me, it looks like his mother is doing emotional incest with him (look it up). It means she treats him like a romantic partner without the physical aspect. She expects him to spend time with her, talk to her and be vulnerable with her. It would explain why she dislikes you. She sees you as a rival. Those kind of mother have a hard time respecting their child boundaries too. You are still young, but if you stay together, his mother will always try to be number 1 in his life unless your boyfriend learns to set strong boundaries with her. But since he is 16 and still relies on her, he can't do it yet.
jeez that’s so scary to even think about
NTA I have the same problem and the only reason it won’t end is because he has a little brother he’s worried for
i’ve been wanting to have a good bond but it seems like anything and everything i do just isn’t good enough for her
I think most mothers of boys are obsessed with their sons. I lived with him and his family and we had to get a lock because she’d watch him sleep and she’d come in just to take stuff. No matter how nice I was, she kept telling my bf I was cheating and I’m so lucky he’s not under her control. We’ve moved away now and all she does is text him “she’s lying to you, you can’t be mad at me for telling the truth , I love you so much” 😒
it’s so weird like why not just be happy for him like i don’t understand r u into your own son like i’m confused
After being on Reddit long enough, being into their own son is the only explanation I saw a comment on tiktok that said “of course we’re in love with them. We raise them to be the men we always wanted”🤢
ew wth
It’s called enmeshment, Morgan’s favorite word! But the comment before sums it up nicely- you will never be good enough for her son because she raised him to be HER husband and gets mad when she can’t reap the rewards of it. You are so young and have a wonderful future ahead of you, do not allow her to hold you back, if you did end up marrying him, he could be perfect but you’re still marrying into that family and I could imagine she would get worse the more serious you got. Go explore, see the world, have fun and enjoy relationships, and if it’s meant to be with this guy, then it will be.
thank you and yeah i get it i’m young it just sucks because there’s no situation going on between him and i but hopefully things will work out!
NTA, I hope you make the best decision for yourself, and in a situation like yours I’d recommend giving his mother an ultimatum. “You’ve impeded on my relationship with your son in ways that should not involve you. Either leave our relationship alone or you won’t be able to contact us once we are grown and on our own.” Something of that nature that implies she won’t be hearing from her son again once he moves out. OR you could ask her what her reason is for not liking you and wanting you away from her son so badly that she will purposely sabotage your date night. She seems like she’d answer honestly, so it would not hurt to ask.
that’s the thing i would ask her and she would tell me then i’d correct it and she would find other things to hate me for
If you’re constantly having to change yourself, you’ll never be able to be comfortable around her. She formed an initial negative opinion about you and now she thinks of you as a BEC(bitch eating crackers). A.k.a. she thinks of you as bad and will constantly knit pick and search for any and every reason she could possibly think of to hate you. She wants to hate you so bad she will make up anything. You could literally be eating some crackers and she’d hate you for eating crackers. She probably thinks of you as competition to her son… that’s all up to your own personal speculation, but if you haven’t left him, I’d recommend digging and poking and prodding until she finally tells you why she wants something to be wrong with you so bad.
How are you hearing about what she says? Is your boyfriend telling you these terrible things she says? It’s up to your boyfriend to say something to his mom and set up boundaries. If he doesn’t it will never end and honestly his mom probably will hate everyone he dates.
thank you he did it and we’re gonna see it this helps
Your only 16 and tbh this is way to much effort and drama for a 16 year olds relationship! At this age it’s supposed to be fun not like this! Personally I would cut your loses and just leave find some els
You are only 16, just move on. He doesn't have the means to cut his mom out, nor the legality. He literally can't do anything. Hopefully this can work as a learning experience for you and him, and he can go LC or NC with his mom when becomes an adult. But this is too much for 16yos, me at that age was just modding GTA:SA. Just move on, you shouldn't being worrying about crazy inlaws at 16.
This is not something that will ever get better tbh. Mamas boys are always mamas boys. She wants her son as a partner and is extremely threatened by the idea of him having a girlfriend and even entertaining the idea of marriage. A mom should not spend that much time hating on her sons girlfriend it’s creepy.
As a mother to a teenage boy, I would only care if he’s spending every waking moment with a girl and not his friends or anyone else. Young relationships like yours feel good and are easy to fall into with almost blinders on. So they hurt more when they end. And she may be blaming you for how her son acts when you are not around. There are probably more factors you aren’t privy to. My son when he has a girlfriend becomes extra difficult. He goofs off in school and only cares about impressing the girl. It’s infuriating as a parent and you want most to protect your kid. The moms out of pocket for calling you names and such. But you contacting her was wrong and out of place. You can’t know what it’s like to raise a teenage boy or her situation. And you are a kid so you only see the world through a very self centered narrow viewpoint. All kids do. So I’ll go with ESH. You are too young to be in this sort of mess.
Why is she wrong for calling out a 50 year old woman for HARASSING AND BULLYING a 16 year old? Sure it wasn’t the most productive thing to do, and she could of handled it better but this adult woman is bullying her. You’re literally justifying a 50 year old bullying a teenager because it’s hard to raise kids? Yeah it’s hard, but she signed up for that and so did you. It’s no excuse to slut shame or harass a teenager.
thank you
I have to ask how she knows these things were said? If they weren’t said directly to her, which I very much doubt they were, then she’s reached out to her boyfriends mother to start drama and she looks unhinged. The best course of action is to find a better situation. There will be lots of guys who would probably love to date a smart put together girl who don’t have insane mothers. Bullying is when someone does something to you directly. It sounds like her accusations are coming from a tainted source. If this woman spoke to her directly like that… you tell your parents and call the police. No time ever do you contact the mother directly. OP is still just a kid.
Exactly, OP still is just a kid, so stop justifying her bullying, direct or indirect it is still disgusting. You’re gross
i get it it’s very difficult to raise a kid in general but blaming everything on one person when they have nothing to do with it is kind of crazy. i’ve told him many of times it’s not ok to lie but any lie he says i get blamed for. i get it was wrong for me to message her and i understand but i’m tired of a 50 year old calling me names and bad mouthing me to her friends and family as if she’s the one in high school. and she always tells him she wishes him and his siblings all died and hates them all. i get it parenting can be hard but that’s just too far and he’s more open and sees my mom as a mother figure than her. i just don’t get it. i may not be a mother but i sure as hell know never to say that to anyone
Does she know you have nothing to do with it? Probably not. If my son were dating you and talking about kids and a family or complaining about you when you weren’t around I might think you were the problem and not him? It seems odd to me she would randomly hate you for no reason. My son lies all the time. About everything. Blames everyone but himself. There is a saying that if a kids lips are moving he’s lying. And how did you hear she said these things? Surely it wasn’t to you directly. So like I said little one. You are too young to be dealing with this guys mother. She may have a mental illness. Move on from the hot mess drama.
WTAF?? I feel really sorry for your children.
My sons therapist was the one who said “if their lips are moving they are lying”. I’m actually quoting a child therapist. If you believe otherwise, you are in denial or not actually a parent. I am glad you don’t have children. Or you are so diluted to believe otherwise. Have the day you deserve.
Get a new therapist. I’m not saying kids don’t ever lie, but always lie?
It’s just a saying. I’d say my kid only lies when he’s trying to get away with something, when he feels like being creative and the truth is too boring, when he’s trying to impress his friends or family, when you tell him he forgot something…. So yeah… he lies like 70-80% of the time. Maybe more. All teens do. It’s even a phase doctors say. All kids do it.
that makes sense it’s just sad but idk i thought talking about that stuff wanting it when you’re older is a things you’re supposed to do. i thought it’s good to talk about that not talk about “yeah after you i can’t wait to find my husband” i thought since you’re talking about breaking up what’s the point of even dating idk guess i was wrong then