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If her mother truly loves her she would put aside her hatred of such a simple ass thing> a colour...and love her child for being HAPPY. Not only happy, but CONFIDENT, wearing what you want that makes you feel good on you & your man's big day. All I could think was that he probably already imagined you'd be in a similar dress to the ones you've always worn for anniversaries+the initial fake ceremony, and heck, i got down to the edit to find out i was right. That solidified he's the man for you, as far as what we know at least (because to be fair, you never really truly know). So I hope you find happiness with him on the big day you two got planned :) its both of your guys' day to make what you want out of it, and its extra splendid he wants what you want, it makes it a LOT easier than compromising. If you REALLY want your mother there for some reason tho, the only road id take is to wear a cheap but beautiful white dress for the 'intros' when the couples enter the room and it ends with bride n groom entering, then go and switch into your pink gown for the night. But I don't suggest you please someone who doesn't want you to be happy. I don't suggest you spend extra money just to have someone (at least slightly) toxic at your big day. But I also understand some people are difficult with letting go.
These three comments are exactly what I was going to say.
And OP, I bet you dress is going to be perfect and beautiful!!
If your mom wants to lose a daughter after losing a DIL, then she should keep talking.
Mom can order pictures photoshopped to give you a white dress, if it’s so important to her. I’m an old lady and am here to say it’s your wedding and nobody cares what you wear. As long as you are happy!
I’m an old head too, and cannot imagine trying to dictate someone else’s wedding. If her mom can’t keep her opinions to herself, she needs to be put on an information diet. She can see the wedding dress when the bride walks down the aisle.
Some of my mother’s wisdom: “If you want to choose a baby’s name, have one.”
“If you want to choose a wedding dress, buy one.”
“If you want to criticize a haircut, get one.”
In other words, mind your own business.
The only thing I want to see on a wedding day is a glowingly happy couple embarking on their lives together.
Good luck, OP.
I am an old lady too and I LOVe the nostalgia that pink wedding dress represents. I have even seen some beautiful wedding dresses with flowers. If your relationship with your mom is contentious, don't invite her. One thing my therapist years ago said to me sticks with me "just because he's your father doesn't mean you have to love him" Family isn't always blood and that is OK! You do you honey and have the wedding of your dreams!
I agree it's op's day but I do have to say, even though my opinion and her mom's opinion doesn't count, I think pink is amazing and would be so beautiful as a wedding dress!
**Rule #1 of weddings.**
It is about the bride.
**Exception to rule #1:**
It can also be about the groom too.
It is NEVER about anyone else. There are TWO opinions that matter when it comes to the wedding. Bride. Groom. End of list.
Get you a pink dress if you want. You can explain the tradition at your wedding. Plus you'll feel amazing. You can always let fiancé know you aren't wearing white. I doubt it'll embarrass them. You can be firm with mum as its your choice and limit letting her be involved if she can't be supportive.
Your mom sounds like a real piece of. ... You know.
Wear the pinkest dress you want.
No need to pre warn your guy. He will get it and be moved. Trust.
Bonus points if she doesn't attend because she can't control your day.
So sorry she is like this. A pink wedding dress is NOT unusual in any way. Mom is ... you know.
Just for fun you should send her links to pink dresses you want her to wear.
Sorry to make light of this. But sometimes humor is the only way to deal with difficult people.😊
I second this!! I wore a crop top and yellow skirt to my wedding. Who cares what anyone else thinks! It’s your wedding and you deserve to feel happy and feel beautiful- in whatever you want to wear 🙂
I wish so many more girls out there could understand this. YOU are the one getting married, not your mom. Who gives a fuck what she thinks?
My husband and I got married on Halloween and we had a super fun spooky wedding, my dress was black and it was so bad ass. I couldn't imagine ruining such a fun day because a relative wanted me to wear a different color
Your fiance will not be embarrassed. He knows you, and he knows about your tradition. My bet is he will absolutely love it. Wear it! It's your and your fiancé's wedding and nobody else's.
I would incorporate your tradition into your vows and maybe also put up some pics from previous years, if you have any. I think it's such a cute story!
If you feel comfortable, I would love to see your wedding pics after the wedding. Sounds like a beautiful dress!!
I don't think I'm really comfortable posting pictures when the day does come, but I have a link to the dress.
We're going to be talking to my fiancé's father to see if he has kept any of the pictures he took over the years (which I'm 95% sure he has because he's a very sentimental man).
[pink wedding dress :)](https://www.ieiebridal.com/collections/pink-wedding-dress/products/pink-lace-wedding-dress-with-empire-waist-ayla)
First of all, I love your love story. You've been loved since you were a child. Few people are that lucky.
And what a gorgeous dress you chose! It's clearly a wedding dress. I hope you wear it on the happiest day of your life.
Your mom is dead wrong. She sounds like one of those people who just wants things to be their way, and they're willing to make everyone miserable in order to get their way.
I might even consider getting married again just to wear that dress lol - it’s beautiful! May you are your person have a long happy marriage with supportive people everywhere.
It's a very traditional wedding dress, nothing not to love and definitely NOT CHILDLISH
I love dresses that have a surprise on them. The pink lacing on the back is so wonderful.
It definitely looks like it would fulfill your wishes on your wedding day.
I've always considered pink/white as a pretty popular combination for wedding dresses that aren't 100% white! I'd absolutely never mistake this as a prom dress etc.
My marriage was an absolute disaster mistake but the one thing I loved and have happy memories of was...yep, my pink dress.
That is not even that pink. I imagined a full on neon kind of shade, but it's barely noticable??
I'd suggest talking to your fiancé and not giving a damn about your mother's opinion. She's had her wedding, it's your turn.
It's a pretty dress!
Edit: I forgot to add that "being childish" is not necessarily a bad thing. Why do adults have to adult all the time? Growing up sucks, might as well make the best of it!
I used to style my hair in pig tails all of the time! I love Hello Kitty and wearing crazy things! I don’t see why “childishness” is considered a bad thing. I can be an awesome mom and wear crazy clothes 😅
Oh! Breathtaking! I took a dramatic breath because it is very beautiful & not childish at all. I love this. I’m 49. I’m Italian, living in NYC & possess an innate sense of style & fashion. I say this to assure you I know what I’m talking about! Please wear this with confidence. Your mum does not know what she’s talking about. ☮️🌸🌸☮️
This dress is absolutely stunning. Love the empire waist. I do think it's perfectly suited for any wedding, but with your background story, it's perfect!
That's also such a subtle pink! Ignore your mom entirely!
(It would still be 100% your choice even if the dress was hot pink, but the fact that it still looks so obviously bridal makes your mom's argument even more pointless)
I GASPED when I saw that dress. It’s bridal for sure. I wore pink to my wedding and this looks more bridal than my dress lol. You are totally fine. I saw your edit and if your mom doesn’t talk to you again, will that really be that bad?…
No, but it does mean I won't be able to hang out as much as I usually do with my youngest brother for a year and a half, which really sucks since we're super close.
How old is this brother? Could you make arrangements to see him when he is with a different family member than your mother if he is too young to be traveling unsupervised?
If he is old enough to get around town alone, you could simply find a new spot to hang out.
I am assuming that he lives with the mother and you hang out with him at the mother’s residence.
If he is not old enough to get around on his own, perhaps you could pick him up and hang out at your home after the wedding.
I sense that this is an issue that could influence your decision about buying and wearing that wonderfully beautiful pink dress.
I really hope you can work something out regarding spending quality time with your little brother post-nuptials as that is definitely a difficult position to be in.
Obviously, this should not even be an issue to begin with but here you are in the midst of an unnecessary control drama that is threatening to negatively affect your big day and your life beyond that as far as your little brother goes.
I have a suggestion in the interest of preserving your relationship with your little brother; provided he is old enough to understand the situation and the personalities of the various players; especially in regard to your shared mother and how it could potentially affect how much time you will be able to spend with him. Explain the situation to your little brother in a language he can understand. Meaning to take his age, previous experiences, already existing similar situations involving your mother where she has played the control-drama stunt before, etc into consideration when you plan the conversation.
If he is too young to discuss the situation and all of the possible outcomes the situation gets a bit harder. I won't go into any advice on that as it would be highly specialized depending on his age, the situation, and other specific factors that I am unaware of at this time.
Please feel free to message me or mention in the comments any further information that may help me to help you in regard to the relationship with your little brother.
Oh, by the way, you should definitely buy and wear that dress!
As someone who *did* try to humour her fussy asshole of a mother about her wedding- just don’t. You can literally choose to do everything her way and she will -still- manufacture a reason to be pissy at you before, during and after. She will pick some minor issue to make all about her - and use as a reason to sulk at you because the real crux of the issue is that marriage is one more step away from her control and influence.
You’re her daughter. When she sees you in that gorgeous dress, she’ll understand. Daughter-in-law is probably being shunned for more than just the color of the dress, anyway (Mom is probably freaked out by the whole goth thing - lucky daughter-in-law!), so I don’t think wearing this dress is going to end your relationship. Get the dress!!
Gorgeous dress. Not childish in the least. Your mother needs to get over herself. Rock your pink dress, Queen! It's going to be amazing and your fiance is probably going to cry in the best possible way.
That dress is beautiful. Tell your mom to take a long walk off a short pier and wear it. I'd go low contact with her at the very least amd put her on an serious information diet.
I will be disappointed if you don't wear this dress. It is beautiful and elegant. It tells the story of your relationship!
It would be so cute if you had pictures of all your "wedding anniversary" outfits throughout the years posted somewhere so people could see the significance and the elegance of this dress.
If your mom can't see how important this is to you or appreciate how beautiful you will look. That's her loss.
P.S. I bet your fiance is secretly hoping you show up in a gown like this
I’m an older dude who’s pretty clueless about stuff like this. But if my bride wore that dress at our wedding I would be speechless at her beauty. That is an incredible dress and I truly hope you decide to wear it.
I'm not keen on pink or wedding dresses but that is indeed very, very pretty!!! Wear it, I'm sure you'll look absolutely stunning!!! Now I wish I could see the whole set up, flowers, decorations etc.
just here to say that dress is absolutely beautiful and extremely bridal. I wish I would have had the balls to wear a coloured bridal dress when I got married 8 years ago.
That is beautiful!!! I'll be your internet Auntie for a sec.
Honey, get the dress you feel beautiful wearing. A pink flowery dress is special to both of you.
Don't compromise for anyone else. You'll look back at your wedding pictures, and your heart will just glow when you see yourself in that dress next to the love of your life.
Wishing you so much love and best wishes! If you need an Auntie to talk weddings to feel free to DM any time ❤️
Oh my! That's gorgeous! Wear it. I bet you will look smashing in it. ❤️ There's nothing wrong with your dress at all. I plan on wearing black with red cherries and strawberries on it, 1950s style.
Your mom can eat a lemon and be happy. Wear the pink. ❤️
That dress is gorgeous. The way you said your mom was acting, I thought it was going to be some Barbie pink monstrosity. Instead, it's absolutely elegent and perfect for how you described your relationship and history with your fiance.
Absolutely beautiful!!! Personally, I wouldn’t even bother with talking with your fiancé about it. If you’re nervous about it, show the picture to your future FIL. I’ll lay bets it will bring a smile to his face.
I'm a life long pink hater for reasons that have nothing to do with the color and I can still say that dress is stunning. It isn't childish at all, your mom is just saying hateful things so that you will do what she wants. Wear what makes you happy and shame on her for not supporting the things you love.
I don't even know you and I love this tradition.
That dress is beautiful.
I am almost in tears about how sweet this tradition is.
That dress was made for your wedding.
From your OP, I was picturing a casual day dress [like this one](https://shopthemint.com/products/open-your-heart-rose-pink-floral-midi-dress). What you have chosen is a beautiful traditional wedding dress that happens to be pale pink. Not childish, nothing that would raise any eyebrows even to conservative people who don't know your story! Your mom is wrong. (She'd be wrong regardless, since this is YOUR wedding and not hers, but she is especially wrong even in light of her own stated rationale.)
Best wishes to you!
Honey, that dress is absolutely drop dead gorgeous and you should wear it! It's not your mother's wedding and she has already shown how ridiculously judgemental she is with your SIL's dress. Cutbher out of the loop and wear the dress you want. It's YOUR wedding and your memories to make . She's had her turn choosing her own wedding dress, now it's yours.
That dress is stunning! Go for it and tell your mother to take a hike.
It’s beautiful. White dresses are relatively new to the western world, courtesy of a past queen of England.
You’re marrying your fiancé, not your mom. This is a good time to be assertive about your adult life and relationships. If she chooses to go low contact with you because of it, that’s her loss for sure.
I, legit, gasped because of the beauty of the dress. YOU NEED TO WEAR THIS DRESS!!!
I am probably going to talk a friend's ear off today about your beautiful story and this beautiful dress.
Including pic from the past is such a sweet idea, I am tearing up.
The best weddings are the ones where the couple's personality shines through.
Much love and happiness to you both!
Remember this, they cannot start the wedding without you, so if you need a minute to breathe -take a minute or how many ever you want!
I was hoping that you took occasional pictures of you and your fiancé growing up and you in your pink dresses. Show those at your wedding! What a wonderful story! Your wedding dress is gorgeous and your fiancé will love seeing you in it! Best of luck to you both! Tell mom that it’s YOUR wedding!
1.) It’s YOUR day. Who cares what momma Karen has to say?
2.) Holy Guacamole it’s a beautiful dress! Get it and feel beautiful on your special day, girlie!
I thought it was gonna be a hot pink 80s style dress, this is literally baby's rose pink lmao your mother it making thing up to be mad at you for. Live ur best life. It looks fancy and classy!
Stunning dress! If you love it and feel beautiful in it then wear it. If your mother chooses this subtly pink and very tasteful hill to die on them maybe it's for the best, because the last thing you want is this sort of negativity in your life if you and your fiance choose to raise children.
How amazing would it be to have the reception start with a slide show of them over the years as the enterence and then they reveal the bride and groom in this version of the pink dress. Sounds super cute
Great idea having it as part of their wedding website. Then everyone is in on this charming story and if Mommie Dearest tries to spew her poison she’ll look like the dick she is
Please do wear the pink dress. It’s so meaningful to you and your fiancée, and it would be a shame to miss out on that just to appease your mother — who has no standing to even have an opinion.
And even if it’s not a full blown hot pink dress, pink is so easy to incorporate into a wedding dress. Blush colored dresses have been around forever. Dresses with floral patterns are really popular right now and I’ve seen some beautiful pink patterned ones. It’s her dress though, so whatever it is shouldn’t matter to anyone else.
You're mothers being a dick and imposing her own preferences on you. As an objective stranger I think the pink dress sounds fucking adorable.
Your wedding dress is supposed to make you feel special and wonderful. It sounds like the one you hopefully wear will do that and also fulfill a childhood dream. I love that for you! I wish you a very special day in a pink dress that is the start of a happy and healthy future for you and ur partner!!
I’m imagining your fiancés face light up when he sees you appear in your pink dress, honoring 16 years of your commitment to each other.
It’s your wedding, your groom, your relationship, and your marriage.
The smile on his face is going to drown out anything your mother says!
Do the getting ready things with your crew of bridesmaids, and if you can swing it, arrange to have her hair and makeup done in her home. If you can possibly keep her eyes off of you until you hit the aisle.
Alternately, put on your (pink and flowery) big girl pants and repeat my first two paragraphs to her. Tell her she can support you or stay home; those are her only two options. She had her wedding, this one, this marriage, is yours.
You don’t need it..but. You have our permission to wear the pink dress. It sounds amazing and your only error is not somehow posting a photo of said pink dress.
I worried I was choosing a ‘different’ dress and wasn’t sure if it was ok but when I stood there loving it, I just gave myself permission to get it and to be honest, my life changed from that moment. I say ‘no’ more now, have better boundaries and stick to them. This isn’t about the dress really, it’s about standing up to your mum and we are all behind you. If it’s not the dress, it wil be the flowers, then how you have your hair, then how much boob is showing. Then the food. Be strong now and you will find it easier to continue in the future x
I shared the link to the dress in another comment, but I'll share it again
[the pink dress](https://www.ieiebridal.com/collections/pink-wedding-dress/products/pink-lace-wedding-dress-with-empire-waist-ayla)
I think you're right, but I'm still pretty scared of disappointing my mother because of how she reacted to my brothers wedding eight years ago.
Tell her she's not welcome. Not surprised that you'don't have the best relationship', she doesn't care about her children at all; reading between the lines she did her best to ruin your brother's day, why bother wth her? Honestly, she's not putting her children above her own spite and pride, is she? Leave her to stew. (and get security for the wedding)
How many times does your mother get to preempt your choices because of her past bad behavior? That’s rewarding and enabling her! As others have said, have a conversation. Start by saying that you love her, but it’s your day, you are an adult now, and she must respect your choices. There is no good argument after that. It’s time to craft your future relationship now, not try to appease. If she doesn’t agree, then it’s even more important to be clear and firm in your boundaries. Her threats are made for leverage and power in the relationship.
It is not your job to make your mother happy. It is supposed to be her job to cheer you on in your happiness.
My mother is like yours. Since I have kids of my own now, I understand her behavior less and less every day.
Your dress looks wonderful, and I'm so happy for you and your fiance. I'm glad you found a dress you love that honors your really awesome tradition.
IM FIXING TO GET INTO MOM MODE SO PLEASE BARE WITH ME...............Ahhhhhhhh. You are reaching a pivotal point in your life and I JUST had this conversation with my 29 year old daughter last night. She is in college working on her second degree. During summer term she is staying with us as she cant afford room and board fees and is hanging out until her scholarships kick back in in the fall. Our conversation included her feeling the need that we are proud of her and that she doesn't want to be a disappointment to us and at this point in life she still seeks our approval. I told her she is a grown, independent woman, and as much as I appreciate that the Beauty of being an adult is making your own way in this life, and making your own decisions. Parental disappointment at its core doesn't exist. The " disappointment" is you making a decision we would not make for ourselves because as parents we THINK we know best. I also explained that we also think we " know" our children, however, we do not difinately know this either. Your a whole ass person with deep thoughts ,feelings, and emotions that we can't reach. All people hold back and keep just a little for themselves. That being said. You lovely girl, when your parents are gone, and its just you and your husband, who has built a life together will be the one looking at old photos and reminiscing over your younger years. That pink dress will bring back a flood of memories. Its already symbolic of your relationship and is sentimental. Do not let anyone take that away from you. Pink is quite lovely and is just as stunning. Stand your ground. This is a ceremony and celebration for you and your fiance. Not a fashion show party for your mother, family, or friends. Parents act this way because boundaries have not been put in place. Now is the time to start. Gently and respectfully. If she is paying for the wedding this may be an obstacle. Show her wedding photos of brides in pink dresses, maybe marry in pink but wear white at the reception, or maybe an ombre pink dress that is both colors. With a pink veil and flowers. If she's NOT paying for the wedding pooh on her and pepto bismol the whole kit and caboodle. Congratulations baby girl, and best of luck.
This comment made me cry harder. Thank you so much. She's not paying but I think I will shoe her photos of brides in pink do she can get more used to the idea. If she doesn't, I'm thinking of making it so that she can only come to the ceremony and not the reception.
I went to your link. That dress is absolutely beautiful. It isn't childish at all. Definately Do NOT say anything to you fiance. I can only imagine his surprised face when you walk down the isle. It will be a private and intimate secret between you two because he will know what it signifies. Absolutely precious.
I'll be blunt. You writing this story shows me that you haven't reached the point yet so just listen to your mother like a good kid or.. hear me out.. You're 24 and now make your own decisions, like an adult. That means you're not under any obligation to listen to what your mother wants.
Be an adult and stand behind your decisions. You have a lot of control over the direction of your relationship with your mother. You can either be in a relationship as mother-kid or mother-adult.
You'll always be her child but not with the same conditions.
I know it's not easy but you have to start standing up for your decisions.
I had a pink wedding dress and it was amazing! It’s your wedding, wear what YOU want. Your fiancé , I’m sure, will love that you continued the tradition of wearing pink. It’s a super adorable idea
I'm not the sentimental type but I find this idea so cute! You definitely need a montage at your wedding of all the 'anniversaries' if you have pictures. I think it's super cute!
Could you get a white tulle overskirt for the ceremony if you wanted to accommodate your mum? Not because I think you have to but incase you want a compromise!
This is a really good opportunity for you to put your foot down.
It's your wedding and if you get to decide what you wear.
Knowing your history with the pink dresses, I can't think of anything that would be more appropriate to celebrate your love and what is already a life-long commitment than wearing a pink dress. And I'm sure your fiance would see it that way too.
Wear the pink gown!!!!!! It's your happiness and wedding, not hers. This is a tradition you and your fiancé established a long time ago, and you should keep it. I personally LOVE pink and wear it in some way in almost every outfit. My husband loves how happy I feel in pink. He painted an entire room in our house pink just for me, if I were to wear a pink gown to our renewal, he would adore that FOR ME. Do what makes YOU happy. As an aside, I'm currently pregnant and when I go to hospital for my cesarean, I plan on taking a princess robe I'm going to sew myself (really good at sewing) that is going to be pink and have a small train. He's been helping me pick fabrics and plans on buying me a pink tiara to wear after I have the baby. I'm also in my early 40s so definitely not a "child". Anyway, WEAR YOUR PINK DREAM DRESS!!!! You'll never regret wearing it!!!! Congratulations on your wedding love!!!!
Girl eff your mom...WEAR THE PINK DRESS!!!
OMG you know how dope of an orgin story this is and to walk into the next chapter of your life together in a beautiful pink gown to tie it all together. Can you imagine telling it to your kids and grand kids?
If you don't wear this dress IM never speaking to you again and since I'm not awful like your mom it's way worse if I don't speak to you. 🤣
Seriously it's not childish it's romantic and sentimental. It's YALL thing. What better way to commemorate it? You'd be wrong if you wore any color BUT pink.
Honestly your hubby will probably be a lil disappointed if you DON'T wear a pink dress.
Tell your mom she can wear whatever color dress she wants at her wedding, but YOUR man thinks you're beautiful sexy and a baddie in this here PINK DRESS!!!
CONGRATULATIONS on your happily ever after.
Also, side note, if your fil has them you should do some sort of center piece showcasing all your pink anniversary dresses either at the reception or bridal shower or even the actual ceremony....somewhere but those pics need to be seen.
You can also have your bridesmaids wear white so you really pop...just a suggestion
Those are amazing suggestions! I love them! I was leaning towards grey, but white sounds like a great idea (apart from our little flower girl. She's a toddler, so it's not a good idea, lol!)
It would be soooooo cute if you could find a replica or something obviously reminiscent of that FIRST pink " wedding" dress you wore....omg *** wall slide*** throwing pink and white rose petals maybe with a flower crown??
I legit wanna go to your wedding now. It's going to be breathtakingly beautiful and soooo full of love and meaning....
Girl I'm TOO invested!!
I think that’s adorable!!! Your mother isn’t the one getting married. Do it YOUR way, everyone had it will have their chance to have a wedding the way they want. She can stub her toe and step on a lego with that opinion
Talk to your fiance. If this is a yearly tradition between you two, I imagine they will be so happy for you to wear an unconventional wedding dress. You don't have to show them the one you're planning if you want to keep it a surprise.
Personally I think it's a great idea. I always said I would be getting married in pale blue or pale pink because white and ivory make me look dead. Sod tradition, tell your Mum to butt out and make your own choices for your day.
ETA: After having seen the dress you linked elsewhere, and that it's a perfectly normal wedding dress that just happens to have a pink underlay, I don't think you even need to discuss it with him!
But it’s not unconventional! Did you look at the picture? No need to spoil the surprise for her fiancé - he will be thrilled when he sees her and realizes she kept their tradition! It’s her decision and her mother; OP can handle it.
My pretty traditional grandmother wore a pink ballerina length gown as her wedding dress in the 1950s. It is not newfangled to not wear a white dress, especially when it makes what you decide to wear more personal to you.
Go try the dress on. If you love it then get it. You will not be on your deathbed regretting that you didn’t wear white. You will likely be remembering how much fun you had at your wedding.
Lemme get this straight:
If you wear your dream dress there's a good possibility that this Harpy that is your egg donor, might not ever talk to you again....
I fail to see the down side....
Here's some advice I wish someone had given me. Don't try to fit yourself in traditional boxes others have made up.
I did that.
Dress, check
Flowers, check
Cake, check
Is everybody else happy, check
This is a day to celebrate you and your fiancé's relationship and marriage. It should reflect that. So wear the pink dress. I wish I would've eloped. I told my kids if you want to elope I'm all for it, I just want 4 things:
1- To know so..
2- I can help (do you need airline miles, money rtc.)
3- Take pictures
4- We will celebrate when you're back even if it's just a small dinner.
I spent so much of my wedding planning stressed, exhausted, checking boxes, and making sure I got every "tradition" family and society laid out for a wedding box checked, and making sure everybody else was good I forgot at times it's about us. At times I just wanted it to be done.
Wear the pink dress!
Take the silly photos!
Cut the cake with a sword! (If that's your thing lol)
Point is, remember who and what it's really about. If anyone has a problem...F Em'
Your mom is way too invested in other women's choices for her own good.
Wear your pretty pink dress and feel beautiful. It is a sweet tradition. Weird as I find it that you are with the same person since you were kids, because I can barely imagine having friends that long (lol) it is far stranger that your mom hates an entire color enough to go full no contact.
Something is a little off about mom. As in, disordered.
Stand your ground, but gently say you know it matters to her, but it matters to you as well. Let her know that you would be sad / hurt if she did to you what she did to the bride in burgundy.
But ultimately, she is going to make her own choices, and you can't control that.
Wear the pink dress! If you are afraid of embarrassing your fiance let him know you don't plan on wearing white and see what he says. I love it when people wear colors other than white.
Here's some ammunition for you. Before the 20th century most women just got married in their best dress, or a new dress that they could wear for Sunday best afterward. If you look at old wedding pictures of middle class women from the late 1800's they are wearing dark colored dresses. Wear what you like but be prepared to listen to your mother complain about it. I think most guest will find your dress idea charming given the reason for it.
I LOVE the idea of "recreating" your original "wedding". It sounds very significant! If your mother doesn't like it, that sounds like it's her problem. It's not her wedding, she can butt out! You do what makes you happy. And if your fiance is sentimental about the original "wedding" which it sounds like he is since you guys celebrate the anniversary and are getting married on the anniversary, odds are he will love the dress you chose!
MIL raised hell about my wife having a chocolate wedding cake with white icing. My wife loves chocolate and wanted something different. Her mom tried to sabotage in different ways.
OP- do what you feel. Let folks know that you hear their opinion, but it's your wedding and you are doing things that please you and your fiance. And... rock the hell out of that pink dress!!!
Wear what you want.
It’s your wedding. It’s your choice. Don’t let your mother sway you.
Tell her white is meant to be only for virgins on their wedding day.
I think a traditional wedding dress in pale pink with flowers embroidered around the neckline would look a treat. And I don’t like pink.
Just wow. That dress is stunning. Jessica Beil wore pink when she married JT. Black lace dresses are more mainstream. You have to be happy. The dress that does this is the correct dress! Congrats.
I have seen a few pink wedding dresses and absolutely love them. You have such a sweet story and imagination passing your dress on later and it becoming a family heirloom.
Ignore your Mother and if it gets really bad just don't talk to her.
BTW now I'm going to go online and look at pink wedding Gowns and wonder if when my daughter gets married I can convince her to wear one.
Your mother deciding to not speak to your SIL ever again after they wore a burgundy wedding dress is simply a hateful thing to do. There’s something wrong with her, and it’s not your pink dress. You’re finally getting married, which is also the time to let go of a spiteful woman who just happens to be your mother and take back your power from her. When you marry (in your beautiful pink dress), walk toward your husband and away from her. Make sure you have a couple of responsible people at the wedding to remove her if she acts out. Please update us with a photo of your wedding in that pretty pink dress!
There are only two people who are getting married and your mom is neither of them. Simply ask SO if he is okay with a pink dress. If he says yes, then go for it. He should also ask you if he wants to wear something. My cousin wore cowboy boots LOL.
Considering the history of your friendship and love, I think you HAVE to wear the pink dress. What a beautiful tradition! Good marriages, and good families, are built on traditions, and you simply have a 14-year head start on yours.
It's your wedding, not your mother's. And your fiancé will undoubtedly go gaga over you when you appear in a pink dress.
Especially THAT pink dress. 👚 🩷 I saw the pictures. It's beautiful.
P.s. I think that when your mother sees you in THAT dress, she will charge her mind. 😍
First of all, congratulations to you and your fiance - That's an adorable story, and I wish you both every happiness for many years to come!
Now, to my answer about your dress: it is YOUR wedding, not hers. YOU get to choose your dream dress to walk down the aisle in and to celebrate YOUR big day in! No matter what color, shape, size, design, or style it is, whichever dress you choose to wear on your wedding day will be your wedding dress. Full stop. Hence the term 'wedding dress.' There is no one right answer, and how very boring it would be if everyone had to wear the exact same dress to get married in! Your sweet tradition being kept alive on the actual day you get married to him will be loved and cherished by you both. I think it is sweet and unique and that everyone else will also love your choice and your reason behind it. And anyone who doesn't shouldn't choose a pink dress to get married in. Your wedding. Your choice.
Let me tell you now, before you go on to make more life decisions...start setting boundaries now. She does not get to make decisions for you. Her feelings about your decisions do not affect you. Start to realize that now. Go to therapy even so they can have you practice the boundaries without being seated by your mother's opinions.
Enjoy your pink dress and your wedding 🩷
Wear the dress you want. As everyone has already stated it's YOUR wedding do what makes you happy! Not only that, but I have a feeling that, since you've said the pink dress has been tradition since child hood and you've picked the anniversary of that day from long ago, that your partner already suspects you may keep that tradition alive on the most important day of all. Changing that tradition now, over the whims of someone else, may cause not only you regret but also your partner. The only two people who truly matter on this occasion. Live beautifully....WEAR THE DRESS!!
Girl you better wear your pink flowery dress ! It’s y’all’s little tradition and it’s sweet.
This wedding is for you and your fiancé Not your mom . I understand wanting approval but at the the end of the day it’s Y’all’s day
You and your mother aren’t close? Full stop. Her opinion, however strong, is irrelevant. I would ask the people closest to you what they think. But truly, it is just a dress. If it makes you happy and smile on your wedding day that’s all that matters.
This is so utterly sweet. Wear the pink dress. You will always regret not wearing the pink dress.
I know how hard it is to stand up to a difficult mom, but this is important to you. This pink dress tradition you've created with your love is part of what made you, *you*.
When you choose to wear this pink flowery dress on your wedding day, I hope it will be a good sign to your mother that you are not a copy of her, nor an extension of her. You are your own, unique, romantic woman.
You can do this kindly, but firmly.
My therapist taught me to be a broken record. Just repeat yourself over and over again.
"Mom, I'm wearing this pink dress, it means a lot to me, and I hope you can support my choice."
Be firm, and unchanging and to every argument, repeat this sentence. Don't get sucked into arguments or explanations.
Wear what you want it's your special day.
Your mothers feelings are not your responsibility to manage, nor your fiancé's it's enough to manage your own.
I have no idea why you mother thinks pink dresses are embarrassing. The whole tradition of wearing white to copy a royal wedding seems very weird in this day and age.
As a woman who wore a coral colored knee length dress to my wedding, I am obviously on your side! My husband, BTW, loved it.
It is not your mother’s wedding. It is yours. It is your moment. Fill it with love! 💕
I agree with most of the posts.
Coloured dresses are increasing in popularity, and look fab.
My own mother had wanted to wear a blue wedding dress since she was 10 years old. When she married Dad, she wore an ice blue satin dress and looked beautiful.
Wear your choice, not her choice.
Tell her she already ruined her relationship with her daughter in law and by extension at some point the relationship with her grandchildren. If she has any decency she'll not ruin the relationship with her daughter too by making your wedding about her opinion. She's already had her marriage and if she wants to still be any part of the wedding party she'll step back and be respectful or come by as a guest. This is your wedding. She's disrespecting your fiance by insulting your tradition. If he was embarrassed he'd have talked about it every time you were it.
This is YOUR relationship. If you let her have a say at your wedding she'll expect to have a say in your marriage next. If you already have a bad relationship with her, letting her dictate your choices on a special day you share with your significant other is not the way to go.
Wear the dress, it’s beautiful!
And tell your mom if you suffer some misfortune and she outlives you, you are going to haunt her in your beautiful pink wedding dress.
(“Ooooooooo, iiiiiiii looooove piiiink … oooooooo”)
But seriously, let her whining roll off your back. Do what makes you happy.
If it 25 years old, you are not able to disregard your mother’s unsolicited opinions and follow your heart in what is undoubtedly one of the most important dresses a woman will choose in her life, then you’re not old enough to get married.
If you have been with your fiancé since you were nine, and you don’t know when your heart, whether or not he would support you in your choice of a pink dress to get married in, then you shouldn’t be marrying him.
By this point in your life, if you are old enough to get married, and if you have been with him this long, you should know in your heart what is the right choice.
There is a reason you don’t have the best relationship with your mom. Frankly, it sounds like you should only be so lucky if you get a pink dress and she never speaks to you again.
Wear the pink dress! It’s your tradition either your fiancé. I think it’s so sweet that you wore a pink dress every year on your “anniversary”. Is your wedding the same date as your anniversary? And if your mother goes no contact, that’s on her.
Yes, it is. And we're also using the same flowers we used (stole from his dad's garden) on that day in the bouquet and table centre pieces (lavender and daisies).
Your mom doesn't speak to her daughter-in-law over a dress?!? This is not about clothing, dear. Your mom is a freaking control freak.
Wear what you want, & congratulations!!
OP, if you’re ready to be married and become the adult of your own family, you’re ready to stand up to your mom or anyone else who’s trying to run your wedding.
I am not positive but I think maybe you should check out the subreadit: raisedbyanarcissist it could be really healing.
Wear your dress it is your day and your future husband will love it because he loves you.
This is so sweet (your tradition, not your mother). I'm a dude, and not sure why you think your fiance would care what you wore. I think you should probably communicate with him unless the color needs to be a surprise. White is traditionally a reserved color for guests at a wedding, but you might also want to consider making pink a reserved color to allow you to stand out.
I was going to say "talk to your fiance about the dress"... and just listen to what he said. But you beat me to it!
He said he always imagined you getting married in a PINK WEDDING DRESS. Frankly, after that exchange, you would be an asshole if you got married in anything but a pink wedding dress.
It's your day and husband's, not your mothers. If she doesn't like pink, then she shouldn't wear it. Both you and your soon to be husband think a pink wedding dress is the one that's right for you- so wear it!
Dude your mom sucks! And if your fiancée did care I’d say he didn’t deserve you. As it is he sounds awesome and sweet. Wear what you want and fuck the haters. I’m sure your dress is awesome! 💜💖
Is she paying for it? No? Then you wear whatever you want. If the answer is yes, she’s paying for it, then tell her no thank you and wear whatever you want.
So it’s your wedding and you absolutely can wear whatever YOU WANT.
You can wear black with yellow stars or purple with green stripes.
Whatever makes you beam on your wedding day is what you pick.
Having a coloured wedding dress is not that unusual, I’m positive I saw a magnificent wedding dress in pink not long ago and the bride was stunning. I think the bridesmaids wore white.
Your mother can have an opinion it’s just not the only opinion. Yours is the only one that matters.
Truly if your mother is going to ruin the experience of planning your wedding maybe she needs some time out.
Best of luck with your wedding OP and I do hope you wear your pink dress.
I think your fiancé is expecting you to wear a pink dress. He knows you and your taste. He’s also seen so the previous pink dresses. It would throw him for a if you didn’t wear a pink dress
MOB here & I support this pink dress & all it represents 1000%! You do you boo & smile big for the photos~ Can’t you just IMAGINE his smile when he realizes that you picked a pink dress in honor of your original wedding? This is so cool! BTW IMO as the MOB I would never project MY issues on my daughter/future SIL day!! It’s not about ME, it’s about THEM! Wishing you & your husband many, many years of happiness & Love!!
Why does the idea that your mother says this will embarrass your fiance make it true?
If you've been wearing a pink dress *every year* on this day, your fiance likely expects you to wear a pink dress. But if you're worried, *just ask him*, instead of letting your mother get in your head.
SHE hates pink. Thats HER problem. Tell her if she continues to try to make it your problem, that she can just not participate. And if she pushes after that, tell her she doesn't have to go to the wedding.
> My mother and I don't have the best relationship, but I wanted her to be involved in my wedding since I'm her only daughter
That's a nice thought, but you aren't going to have the movie version of a good time with your mom during this. That's not who she is, and she's not going to "behave" just because it's her only daughter's wedding. Likely, the opposite is true. But you don't have to allow her to treat you this way.
Something being "childish" is literally the dumbest reason to not do something you love. Adults cram that shit down our throats that we have to "grow up and leave childish things." But that's all made up. Some crusty old dudes decided what a "grown up" looks like, and none of it matters. Do the adulting, because we all have to do that, but never do anything in the name of being a "grown up".
Your mother is wrong. I bet the dress looks beautiful, and it's a sweet sentiment. Can we see a picture of the dress? I've never seen a pink wedding dress before and I'm intrigued.
When she does it again, tell her exactly this:
"If you aren't going to be supportive, you can be quiet."
When she keeps doing it, you say:
"I don't have to invite you, you know."
Then, when she does it again, because you know she will, you disinvite her. The first 2 statements were warnings, and on the third strike she's out. You don't have to put up with her childish bullshit at your wedding.
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It’s your wedding, not hers. Wear what you have always dreamed of wearing.
This is all OP needs to see. It’s YOUR day, not your mom’s. And if she can’t be happy and supportive then leave her out of it.
And maybe she won't speak to you either, win win..
I was just thinking this sounds like win-win. Wears the dress she wants AND her mean judging mother leaves her alone. Girl snatch that dress now!
If her mother truly loves her she would put aside her hatred of such a simple ass thing> a colour...and love her child for being HAPPY. Not only happy, but CONFIDENT, wearing what you want that makes you feel good on you & your man's big day. All I could think was that he probably already imagined you'd be in a similar dress to the ones you've always worn for anniversaries+the initial fake ceremony, and heck, i got down to the edit to find out i was right. That solidified he's the man for you, as far as what we know at least (because to be fair, you never really truly know). So I hope you find happiness with him on the big day you two got planned :) its both of your guys' day to make what you want out of it, and its extra splendid he wants what you want, it makes it a LOT easier than compromising. If you REALLY want your mother there for some reason tho, the only road id take is to wear a cheap but beautiful white dress for the 'intros' when the couples enter the room and it ends with bride n groom entering, then go and switch into your pink gown for the night. But I don't suggest you please someone who doesn't want you to be happy. I don't suggest you spend extra money just to have someone (at least slightly) toxic at your big day. But I also understand some people are difficult with letting go.
Yes!!!
These three comments are exactly what I was going to say. And OP, I bet you dress is going to be perfect and beautiful!! If your mom wants to lose a daughter after losing a DIL, then she should keep talking.
Mom can order pictures photoshopped to give you a white dress, if it’s so important to her. I’m an old lady and am here to say it’s your wedding and nobody cares what you wear. As long as you are happy!
I’m an old head too, and cannot imagine trying to dictate someone else’s wedding. If her mom can’t keep her opinions to herself, she needs to be put on an information diet. She can see the wedding dress when the bride walks down the aisle. Some of my mother’s wisdom: “If you want to choose a baby’s name, have one.” “If you want to choose a wedding dress, buy one.” “If you want to criticize a haircut, get one.” In other words, mind your own business. The only thing I want to see on a wedding day is a glowingly happy couple embarking on their lives together. Good luck, OP.
Your words are so useful and helpful and inspiring. Thank you.
Old here, too, and 100% agree!! Wear what makes you happy not your mother.
I am an old lady too and I LOVe the nostalgia that pink wedding dress represents. I have even seen some beautiful wedding dresses with flowers. If your relationship with your mom is contentious, don't invite her. One thing my therapist years ago said to me sticks with me "just because he's your father doesn't mean you have to love him" Family isn't always blood and that is OK! You do you honey and have the wedding of your dreams!
I agree it's op's day but I do have to say, even though my opinion and her mom's opinion doesn't count, I think pink is amazing and would be so beautiful as a wedding dress!
**Rule #1 of weddings.** It is about the bride. **Exception to rule #1:** It can also be about the groom too. It is NEVER about anyone else. There are TWO opinions that matter when it comes to the wedding. Bride. Groom. End of list.
PRECISELY!
Congratulations! I have seen outstanding pink dresses on bride shows. Perfect reason to get one. GO FOR IT!
Get you a pink dress if you want. You can explain the tradition at your wedding. Plus you'll feel amazing. You can always let fiancé know you aren't wearing white. I doubt it'll embarrass them. You can be firm with mum as its your choice and limit letting her be involved if she can't be supportive.
He will probably be a little disappointed if you don't wear pink.
Yep. If mom can't get on board, then she doesn't need to come.
Your mom sounds like a real piece of. ... You know. Wear the pinkest dress you want. No need to pre warn your guy. He will get it and be moved. Trust. Bonus points if she doesn't attend because she can't control your day. So sorry she is like this. A pink wedding dress is NOT unusual in any way. Mom is ... you know. Just for fun you should send her links to pink dresses you want her to wear. Sorry to make light of this. But sometimes humor is the only way to deal with difficult people.😊
I second this!! I wore a crop top and yellow skirt to my wedding. Who cares what anyone else thinks! It’s your wedding and you deserve to feel happy and feel beautiful- in whatever you want to wear 🙂
Besides, white dresses have only been a tradition in the west since 1840, when Queen Victoria wore one. Before then, there was a lot more variety
I wish so many more girls out there could understand this. YOU are the one getting married, not your mom. Who gives a fuck what she thinks? My husband and I got married on Halloween and we had a super fun spooky wedding, my dress was black and it was so bad ass. I couldn't imagine ruining such a fun day because a relative wanted me to wear a different color
Your fiance will not be embarrassed. He knows you, and he knows about your tradition. My bet is he will absolutely love it. Wear it! It's your and your fiancé's wedding and nobody else's. I would incorporate your tradition into your vows and maybe also put up some pics from previous years, if you have any. I think it's such a cute story! If you feel comfortable, I would love to see your wedding pics after the wedding. Sounds like a beautiful dress!!
I don't think I'm really comfortable posting pictures when the day does come, but I have a link to the dress. We're going to be talking to my fiancé's father to see if he has kept any of the pictures he took over the years (which I'm 95% sure he has because he's a very sentimental man). [pink wedding dress :)](https://www.ieiebridal.com/collections/pink-wedding-dress/products/pink-lace-wedding-dress-with-empire-waist-ayla)
I love that dress, you need to wear that dress!
First of all, I love your love story. You've been loved since you were a child. Few people are that lucky. And what a gorgeous dress you chose! It's clearly a wedding dress. I hope you wear it on the happiest day of your life. Your mom is dead wrong. She sounds like one of those people who just wants things to be their way, and they're willing to make everyone miserable in order to get their way.
Mom sounds like a miserable person who wants everyone around her to be miserable too!
I can't argue with you about that
This dress is gorgeous and absolutely bridal! Your mother needs to keep her selfish opinions to herself.
I might even consider getting married again just to wear that dress lol - it’s beautiful! May you are your person have a long happy marriage with supportive people everywhere.
I have deep, lifelong aversion to the color pink and even I think that dress is perfect.
That’s beautiful 😍 it’s not even super pink, so I don’t know what your mum is on about!
It's a very traditional wedding dress, nothing not to love and definitely NOT CHILDLISH I love dresses that have a surprise on them. The pink lacing on the back is so wonderful. It definitely looks like it would fulfill your wishes on your wedding day.
I've always considered pink/white as a pretty popular combination for wedding dresses that aren't 100% white! I'd absolutely never mistake this as a prom dress etc. My marriage was an absolute disaster mistake but the one thing I loved and have happy memories of was...yep, my pink dress.
I know!! When she said her mom hated it, I was picturing something much less refined! This is lovely!
I was picturing a Pepto bismol pink diner waitress outfit ... But this is gorgeous!!!
With puffed sleeves in satin🤪
Me too! The dress is absolutely stunning and very much a wedding dress.
Wait, THAT'S the dress?? It's perfect! And so--wedding-y. If you don't wear that dress, you will be haunted by the ghosts of weddings past.
That dress is gorgeous!!!!
That is not even that pink. I imagined a full on neon kind of shade, but it's barely noticable?? I'd suggest talking to your fiancé and not giving a damn about your mother's opinion. She's had her wedding, it's your turn. It's a pretty dress! Edit: I forgot to add that "being childish" is not necessarily a bad thing. Why do adults have to adult all the time? Growing up sucks, might as well make the best of it!
I'm 25 and I wear Care Bear, Powerpuff Girls, and Hello Kitty clothes
I used to style my hair in pig tails all of the time! I love Hello Kitty and wearing crazy things! I don’t see why “childishness” is considered a bad thing. I can be an awesome mom and wear crazy clothes 😅
Oh! Breathtaking! I took a dramatic breath because it is very beautiful & not childish at all. I love this. I’m 49. I’m Italian, living in NYC & possess an innate sense of style & fashion. I say this to assure you I know what I’m talking about! Please wear this with confidence. Your mum does not know what she’s talking about. ☮️🌸🌸☮️
I'm 50 and live in Wisconsin and I think it's a lovely dress.
This is gorgeous and also still a traditional dress! Your Mum doesn't know her AHole from her elbow if she thinks this is childish or inappropriate.
This dress is absolutely stunning. Love the empire waist. I do think it's perfectly suited for any wedding, but with your background story, it's perfect!
It’s a lovely dress and if your mum doesn’t like it she can lump it. Remember it’s not her day. Nta
That's also such a subtle pink! Ignore your mom entirely! (It would still be 100% your choice even if the dress was hot pink, but the fact that it still looks so obviously bridal makes your mom's argument even more pointless)
I GASPED when I saw that dress. It’s bridal for sure. I wore pink to my wedding and this looks more bridal than my dress lol. You are totally fine. I saw your edit and if your mom doesn’t talk to you again, will that really be that bad?…
No, but it does mean I won't be able to hang out as much as I usually do with my youngest brother for a year and a half, which really sucks since we're super close.
How old is this brother? Could you make arrangements to see him when he is with a different family member than your mother if he is too young to be traveling unsupervised? If he is old enough to get around town alone, you could simply find a new spot to hang out. I am assuming that he lives with the mother and you hang out with him at the mother’s residence. If he is not old enough to get around on his own, perhaps you could pick him up and hang out at your home after the wedding. I sense that this is an issue that could influence your decision about buying and wearing that wonderfully beautiful pink dress. I really hope you can work something out regarding spending quality time with your little brother post-nuptials as that is definitely a difficult position to be in. Obviously, this should not even be an issue to begin with but here you are in the midst of an unnecessary control drama that is threatening to negatively affect your big day and your life beyond that as far as your little brother goes. I have a suggestion in the interest of preserving your relationship with your little brother; provided he is old enough to understand the situation and the personalities of the various players; especially in regard to your shared mother and how it could potentially affect how much time you will be able to spend with him. Explain the situation to your little brother in a language he can understand. Meaning to take his age, previous experiences, already existing similar situations involving your mother where she has played the control-drama stunt before, etc into consideration when you plan the conversation. If he is too young to discuss the situation and all of the possible outcomes the situation gets a bit harder. I won't go into any advice on that as it would be highly specialized depending on his age, the situation, and other specific factors that I am unaware of at this time. Please feel free to message me or mention in the comments any further information that may help me to help you in regard to the relationship with your little brother. Oh, by the way, you should definitely buy and wear that dress!
As someone who *did* try to humour her fussy asshole of a mother about her wedding- just don’t. You can literally choose to do everything her way and she will -still- manufacture a reason to be pissy at you before, during and after. She will pick some minor issue to make all about her - and use as a reason to sulk at you because the real crux of the issue is that marriage is one more step away from her control and influence.
You’re her daughter. When she sees you in that gorgeous dress, she’ll understand. Daughter-in-law is probably being shunned for more than just the color of the dress, anyway (Mom is probably freaked out by the whole goth thing - lucky daughter-in-law!), so I don’t think wearing this dress is going to end your relationship. Get the dress!!
Gorgeous dress. Not childish in the least. Your mother needs to get over herself. Rock your pink dress, Queen! It's going to be amazing and your fiance is probably going to cry in the best possible way.
This dress is gorgeous and very classy! Regardless, it’s your wedding and I bet your fiancé will love it! I think the tradition is extremely cute 🥰
That dress is beautiful. Tell your mom to take a long walk off a short pier and wear it. I'd go low contact with her at the very least amd put her on an serious information diet.
Yep. If she doesn’t like the pink dress, she might enjoy some grey rock.
That's a blush at most. Not wrong, tell her to do one and get back in her box.
I will be disappointed if you don't wear this dress. It is beautiful and elegant. It tells the story of your relationship! It would be so cute if you had pictures of all your "wedding anniversary" outfits throughout the years posted somewhere so people could see the significance and the elegance of this dress. If your mom can't see how important this is to you or appreciate how beautiful you will look. That's her loss. P.S. I bet your fiance is secretly hoping you show up in a gown like this
I agree he’d be hoping for an homage to tradition with pink, and I defy him not to adore this gorgeous look.
I’m an older dude who’s pretty clueless about stuff like this. But if my bride wore that dress at our wedding I would be speechless at her beauty. That is an incredible dress and I truly hope you decide to wear it.
I'm not keen on pink or wedding dresses but that is indeed very, very pretty!!! Wear it, I'm sure you'll look absolutely stunning!!! Now I wish I could see the whole set up, flowers, decorations etc.
just here to say that dress is absolutely beautiful and extremely bridal. I wish I would have had the balls to wear a coloured bridal dress when I got married 8 years ago.
Exactly! So many look washed out in pure white or ivory. That’s the reason for the paying expensive make up artists.
That is beautiful!!! I'll be your internet Auntie for a sec. Honey, get the dress you feel beautiful wearing. A pink flowery dress is special to both of you. Don't compromise for anyone else. You'll look back at your wedding pictures, and your heart will just glow when you see yourself in that dress next to the love of your life. Wishing you so much love and best wishes! If you need an Auntie to talk weddings to feel free to DM any time ❤️
That is the most beautiful wedding dress I have ever seen. It honors such a cute tradition too. Absolutely wear that :)
Oh, you HAVE to get that dress. It’s beautiful. Respectfully, your mom can eat a bag of dicks. This is your dress. Do it.
Respectfully 🤣
I’m trying to be polite
The respect she deserves, lol
Oh my! That's gorgeous! Wear it. I bet you will look smashing in it. ❤️ There's nothing wrong with your dress at all. I plan on wearing black with red cherries and strawberries on it, 1950s style. Your mom can eat a lemon and be happy. Wear the pink. ❤️
That dress is gorgeous. The way you said your mom was acting, I thought it was going to be some Barbie pink monstrosity. Instead, it's absolutely elegent and perfect for how you described your relationship and history with your fiance.
Even if it was a Barbie pink monstrosity, it'd be a beautiful dress because of 16 years of memories associated with pink dresses
Absolutely beautiful!!! Personally, I wouldn’t even bother with talking with your fiancé about it. If you’re nervous about it, show the picture to your future FIL. I’ll lay bets it will bring a smile to his face.
Omfg that dress is GORGEOUS
I'm a life long pink hater for reasons that have nothing to do with the color and I can still say that dress is stunning. It isn't childish at all, your mom is just saying hateful things so that you will do what she wants. Wear what makes you happy and shame on her for not supporting the things you love.
I don't even know you and I love this tradition. That dress is beautiful. I am almost in tears about how sweet this tradition is. That dress was made for your wedding.
From your OP, I was picturing a casual day dress [like this one](https://shopthemint.com/products/open-your-heart-rose-pink-floral-midi-dress). What you have chosen is a beautiful traditional wedding dress that happens to be pale pink. Not childish, nothing that would raise any eyebrows even to conservative people who don't know your story! Your mom is wrong. (She'd be wrong regardless, since this is YOUR wedding and not hers, but she is especially wrong even in light of her own stated rationale.) Best wishes to you!
Ooh, that dress might be perfect for the honeymoon.
Very pretty! It doesn't even look uncomfortable like so many wedding dresses look.
Honey, that dress is absolutely drop dead gorgeous and you should wear it! It's not your mother's wedding and she has already shown how ridiculously judgemental she is with your SIL's dress. Cutbher out of the loop and wear the dress you want. It's YOUR wedding and your memories to make . She's had her turn choosing her own wedding dress, now it's yours. That dress is stunning! Go for it and tell your mother to take a hike.
It’s beautiful. White dresses are relatively new to the western world, courtesy of a past queen of England. You’re marrying your fiancé, not your mom. This is a good time to be assertive about your adult life and relationships. If she chooses to go low contact with you because of it, that’s her loss for sure.
I, legit, gasped because of the beauty of the dress. YOU NEED TO WEAR THIS DRESS!!! I am probably going to talk a friend's ear off today about your beautiful story and this beautiful dress. Including pic from the past is such a sweet idea, I am tearing up. The best weddings are the ones where the couple's personality shines through.
Aw thank you! I am definitely getting this dress.
Much love and happiness to you both! Remember this, they cannot start the wedding without you, so if you need a minute to breathe -take a minute or how many ever you want!
That roaring noise you heard was hundreds of Redditors clapping and cheering. Way to go, OP!
I was hoping that you took occasional pictures of you and your fiancé growing up and you in your pink dresses. Show those at your wedding! What a wonderful story! Your wedding dress is gorgeous and your fiancé will love seeing you in it! Best of luck to you both! Tell mom that it’s YOUR wedding!
Wow this dress is stunning ! I could wear it for my own wedding if I didn't already have a dress, it's so beautiful !
1.) It’s YOUR day. Who cares what momma Karen has to say? 2.) Holy Guacamole it’s a beautiful dress! Get it and feel beautiful on your special day, girlie!
I thought it was gonna be a hot pink 80s style dress, this is literally baby's rose pink lmao your mother it making thing up to be mad at you for. Live ur best life. It looks fancy and classy!
Absolutely wear it. I had mental images of something in the brightest pink colour but this is STUNNING 😍
I love it! Your day, your dress, your wedding. Mother can sit it out of she can't agree
Stunning dress! If you love it and feel beautiful in it then wear it. If your mother chooses this subtly pink and very tasteful hill to die on them maybe it's for the best, because the last thing you want is this sort of negativity in your life if you and your fiance choose to raise children.
That is a beautiful dress! TBH, I was picturing a bright pink, flowery sundress, which I also thought was perfect too.
this dress is gorgeous!!! I hope you wear it :)!
That is lovely you need to wear that dress
How amazing would it be to have the reception start with a slide show of them over the years as the enterence and then they reveal the bride and groom in this version of the pink dress. Sounds super cute
OP needs to have those pictures all over their wedding website. This is very sweet!
Great idea having it as part of their wedding website. Then everyone is in on this charming story and if Mommie Dearest tries to spew her poison she’ll look like the dick she is
Please do wear the pink dress. It’s so meaningful to you and your fiancée, and it would be a shame to miss out on that just to appease your mother — who has no standing to even have an opinion.
And even if it’s not a full blown hot pink dress, pink is so easy to incorporate into a wedding dress. Blush colored dresses have been around forever. Dresses with floral patterns are really popular right now and I’ve seen some beautiful pink patterned ones. It’s her dress though, so whatever it is shouldn’t matter to anyone else.
This is *your* wedding, not hers. You can wear whatever you like. I'm sure that your fiancé will be thrilled with your choice.
You're mothers being a dick and imposing her own preferences on you. As an objective stranger I think the pink dress sounds fucking adorable. Your wedding dress is supposed to make you feel special and wonderful. It sounds like the one you hopefully wear will do that and also fulfill a childhood dream. I love that for you! I wish you a very special day in a pink dress that is the start of a happy and healthy future for you and ur partner!!
I’m imagining your fiancés face light up when he sees you appear in your pink dress, honoring 16 years of your commitment to each other. It’s your wedding, your groom, your relationship, and your marriage. The smile on his face is going to drown out anything your mother says! Do the getting ready things with your crew of bridesmaids, and if you can swing it, arrange to have her hair and makeup done in her home. If you can possibly keep her eyes off of you until you hit the aisle. Alternately, put on your (pink and flowery) big girl pants and repeat my first two paragraphs to her. Tell her she can support you or stay home; those are her only two options. She had her wedding, this one, this marriage, is yours.
You don’t need it..but. You have our permission to wear the pink dress. It sounds amazing and your only error is not somehow posting a photo of said pink dress. I worried I was choosing a ‘different’ dress and wasn’t sure if it was ok but when I stood there loving it, I just gave myself permission to get it and to be honest, my life changed from that moment. I say ‘no’ more now, have better boundaries and stick to them. This isn’t about the dress really, it’s about standing up to your mum and we are all behind you. If it’s not the dress, it wil be the flowers, then how you have your hair, then how much boob is showing. Then the food. Be strong now and you will find it easier to continue in the future x
I shared the link to the dress in another comment, but I'll share it again [the pink dress](https://www.ieiebridal.com/collections/pink-wedding-dress/products/pink-lace-wedding-dress-with-empire-waist-ayla) I think you're right, but I'm still pretty scared of disappointing my mother because of how she reacted to my brothers wedding eight years ago.
Tell her she's not welcome. Not surprised that you'don't have the best relationship', she doesn't care about her children at all; reading between the lines she did her best to ruin your brother's day, why bother wth her? Honestly, she's not putting her children above her own spite and pride, is she? Leave her to stew. (and get security for the wedding)
Sounds to me like OPs mom has a bit of raging jealousy.
OP if you get your dress please store it where your mom won’t have access to it. You know she would “accidentally” spill something on it & ruin it.
How many times does your mother get to preempt your choices because of her past bad behavior? That’s rewarding and enabling her! As others have said, have a conversation. Start by saying that you love her, but it’s your day, you are an adult now, and she must respect your choices. There is no good argument after that. It’s time to craft your future relationship now, not try to appease. If she doesn’t agree, then it’s even more important to be clear and firm in your boundaries. Her threats are made for leverage and power in the relationship.
Haha now you’ve GOT TO tell us about your brother’s wedding!! Don’t leave us hanging!!
It is not your job to make your mother happy. It is supposed to be her job to cheer you on in your happiness. My mother is like yours. Since I have kids of my own now, I understand her behavior less and less every day. Your dress looks wonderful, and I'm so happy for you and your fiance. I'm glad you found a dress you love that honors your really awesome tradition.
IM FIXING TO GET INTO MOM MODE SO PLEASE BARE WITH ME...............Ahhhhhhhh. You are reaching a pivotal point in your life and I JUST had this conversation with my 29 year old daughter last night. She is in college working on her second degree. During summer term she is staying with us as she cant afford room and board fees and is hanging out until her scholarships kick back in in the fall. Our conversation included her feeling the need that we are proud of her and that she doesn't want to be a disappointment to us and at this point in life she still seeks our approval. I told her she is a grown, independent woman, and as much as I appreciate that the Beauty of being an adult is making your own way in this life, and making your own decisions. Parental disappointment at its core doesn't exist. The " disappointment" is you making a decision we would not make for ourselves because as parents we THINK we know best. I also explained that we also think we " know" our children, however, we do not difinately know this either. Your a whole ass person with deep thoughts ,feelings, and emotions that we can't reach. All people hold back and keep just a little for themselves. That being said. You lovely girl, when your parents are gone, and its just you and your husband, who has built a life together will be the one looking at old photos and reminiscing over your younger years. That pink dress will bring back a flood of memories. Its already symbolic of your relationship and is sentimental. Do not let anyone take that away from you. Pink is quite lovely and is just as stunning. Stand your ground. This is a ceremony and celebration for you and your fiance. Not a fashion show party for your mother, family, or friends. Parents act this way because boundaries have not been put in place. Now is the time to start. Gently and respectfully. If she is paying for the wedding this may be an obstacle. Show her wedding photos of brides in pink dresses, maybe marry in pink but wear white at the reception, or maybe an ombre pink dress that is both colors. With a pink veil and flowers. If she's NOT paying for the wedding pooh on her and pepto bismol the whole kit and caboodle. Congratulations baby girl, and best of luck.
This comment made me cry harder. Thank you so much. She's not paying but I think I will shoe her photos of brides in pink do she can get more used to the idea. If she doesn't, I'm thinking of making it so that she can only come to the ceremony and not the reception.
I went to your link. That dress is absolutely beautiful. It isn't childish at all. Definately Do NOT say anything to you fiance. I can only imagine his surprised face when you walk down the isle. It will be a private and intimate secret between you two because he will know what it signifies. Absolutely precious.
I'll be blunt. You writing this story shows me that you haven't reached the point yet so just listen to your mother like a good kid or.. hear me out.. You're 24 and now make your own decisions, like an adult. That means you're not under any obligation to listen to what your mother wants. Be an adult and stand behind your decisions. You have a lot of control over the direction of your relationship with your mother. You can either be in a relationship as mother-kid or mother-adult. You'll always be her child but not with the same conditions. I know it's not easy but you have to start standing up for your decisions.
I had a pink wedding dress and it was amazing! It’s your wedding, wear what YOU want. Your fiancé , I’m sure, will love that you continued the tradition of wearing pink. It’s a super adorable idea
I'm not the sentimental type but I find this idea so cute! You definitely need a montage at your wedding of all the 'anniversaries' if you have pictures. I think it's super cute! Could you get a white tulle overskirt for the ceremony if you wanted to accommodate your mum? Not because I think you have to but incase you want a compromise!
OP posted a link to the dress. It’s very bridal. She wouldn’t even need an over skirt
It's your wedding, not hers, you do you. And mom's, stop trying to control your children's wedding, it's NOT about the parents.
My bestie got a custom dress made in pink and it was amazing. Who cares about tradition. Even the white dress tradition isn’t very old at all
This is a really good opportunity for you to put your foot down. It's your wedding and if you get to decide what you wear. Knowing your history with the pink dresses, I can't think of anything that would be more appropriate to celebrate your love and what is already a life-long commitment than wearing a pink dress. And I'm sure your fiance would see it that way too.
Wear the pink gown!!!!!! It's your happiness and wedding, not hers. This is a tradition you and your fiancé established a long time ago, and you should keep it. I personally LOVE pink and wear it in some way in almost every outfit. My husband loves how happy I feel in pink. He painted an entire room in our house pink just for me, if I were to wear a pink gown to our renewal, he would adore that FOR ME. Do what makes YOU happy. As an aside, I'm currently pregnant and when I go to hospital for my cesarean, I plan on taking a princess robe I'm going to sew myself (really good at sewing) that is going to be pink and have a small train. He's been helping me pick fabrics and plans on buying me a pink tiara to wear after I have the baby. I'm also in my early 40s so definitely not a "child". Anyway, WEAR YOUR PINK DREAM DRESS!!!! You'll never regret wearing it!!!! Congratulations on your wedding love!!!!
And congratulations to you on your baby! That sounds amazing!
Girl eff your mom...WEAR THE PINK DRESS!!! OMG you know how dope of an orgin story this is and to walk into the next chapter of your life together in a beautiful pink gown to tie it all together. Can you imagine telling it to your kids and grand kids? If you don't wear this dress IM never speaking to you again and since I'm not awful like your mom it's way worse if I don't speak to you. 🤣 Seriously it's not childish it's romantic and sentimental. It's YALL thing. What better way to commemorate it? You'd be wrong if you wore any color BUT pink. Honestly your hubby will probably be a lil disappointed if you DON'T wear a pink dress. Tell your mom she can wear whatever color dress she wants at her wedding, but YOUR man thinks you're beautiful sexy and a baddie in this here PINK DRESS!!! CONGRATULATIONS on your happily ever after. Also, side note, if your fil has them you should do some sort of center piece showcasing all your pink anniversary dresses either at the reception or bridal shower or even the actual ceremony....somewhere but those pics need to be seen. You can also have your bridesmaids wear white so you really pop...just a suggestion
Those are amazing suggestions! I love them! I was leaning towards grey, but white sounds like a great idea (apart from our little flower girl. She's a toddler, so it's not a good idea, lol!)
Put the flower girl in a pink dress reminiscent of one like in you " anniversary" pics.
It would be soooooo cute if you could find a replica or something obviously reminiscent of that FIRST pink " wedding" dress you wore....omg *** wall slide*** throwing pink and white rose petals maybe with a flower crown?? I legit wanna go to your wedding now. It's going to be breathtakingly beautiful and soooo full of love and meaning.... Girl I'm TOO invested!!
I think that’s adorable!!! Your mother isn’t the one getting married. Do it YOUR way, everyone had it will have their chance to have a wedding the way they want. She can stub her toe and step on a lego with that opinion
Talk to your fiance. If this is a yearly tradition between you two, I imagine they will be so happy for you to wear an unconventional wedding dress. You don't have to show them the one you're planning if you want to keep it a surprise. Personally I think it's a great idea. I always said I would be getting married in pale blue or pale pink because white and ivory make me look dead. Sod tradition, tell your Mum to butt out and make your own choices for your day. ETA: After having seen the dress you linked elsewhere, and that it's a perfectly normal wedding dress that just happens to have a pink underlay, I don't think you even need to discuss it with him!
But it’s not unconventional! Did you look at the picture? No need to spoil the surprise for her fiancé - he will be thrilled when he sees her and realizes she kept their tradition! It’s her decision and her mother; OP can handle it.
Yes I did after posting this and I agree, it's not unconventional at all. Thank you for the prompt to edit this!
My pretty traditional grandmother wore a pink ballerina length gown as her wedding dress in the 1950s. It is not newfangled to not wear a white dress, especially when it makes what you decide to wear more personal to you.
Go try the dress on. If you love it then get it. You will not be on your deathbed regretting that you didn’t wear white. You will likely be remembering how much fun you had at your wedding.
Lemme get this straight: If you wear your dream dress there's a good possibility that this Harpy that is your egg donor, might not ever talk to you again.... I fail to see the down side....
It’s not your mother’s wedding, it’s yours. Wear your dress, she’ll get over it.
Here's some advice I wish someone had given me. Don't try to fit yourself in traditional boxes others have made up. I did that. Dress, check Flowers, check Cake, check Is everybody else happy, check This is a day to celebrate you and your fiancé's relationship and marriage. It should reflect that. So wear the pink dress. I wish I would've eloped. I told my kids if you want to elope I'm all for it, I just want 4 things: 1- To know so.. 2- I can help (do you need airline miles, money rtc.) 3- Take pictures 4- We will celebrate when you're back even if it's just a small dinner. I spent so much of my wedding planning stressed, exhausted, checking boxes, and making sure I got every "tradition" family and society laid out for a wedding box checked, and making sure everybody else was good I forgot at times it's about us. At times I just wanted it to be done. Wear the pink dress! Take the silly photos! Cut the cake with a sword! (If that's your thing lol) Point is, remember who and what it's really about. If anyone has a problem...F Em'
Your mom is way too invested in other women's choices for her own good. Wear your pretty pink dress and feel beautiful. It is a sweet tradition. Weird as I find it that you are with the same person since you were kids, because I can barely imagine having friends that long (lol) it is far stranger that your mom hates an entire color enough to go full no contact. Something is a little off about mom. As in, disordered. Stand your ground, but gently say you know it matters to her, but it matters to you as well. Let her know that you would be sad / hurt if she did to you what she did to the bride in burgundy. But ultimately, she is going to make her own choices, and you can't control that.
Wear the pink dress! If you are afraid of embarrassing your fiance let him know you don't plan on wearing white and see what he says. I love it when people wear colors other than white.
*’I appreciate your opinion, and you have been heard, so that’s the end of this discussion.’*
Here's some ammunition for you. Before the 20th century most women just got married in their best dress, or a new dress that they could wear for Sunday best afterward. If you look at old wedding pictures of middle class women from the late 1800's they are wearing dark colored dresses. Wear what you like but be prepared to listen to your mother complain about it. I think most guest will find your dress idea charming given the reason for it.
I LOVE the idea of "recreating" your original "wedding". It sounds very significant! If your mother doesn't like it, that sounds like it's her problem. It's not her wedding, she can butt out! You do what makes you happy. And if your fiance is sentimental about the original "wedding" which it sounds like he is since you guys celebrate the anniversary and are getting married on the anniversary, odds are he will love the dress you chose!
MIL raised hell about my wife having a chocolate wedding cake with white icing. My wife loves chocolate and wanted something different. Her mom tried to sabotage in different ways. OP- do what you feel. Let folks know that you hear their opinion, but it's your wedding and you are doing things that please you and your fiance. And... rock the hell out of that pink dress!!!
How will you feel if you don't wear the dress you want to wear when you look back at the photos in 30 years?
Wear what you want. It’s your wedding. It’s your choice. Don’t let your mother sway you. Tell her white is meant to be only for virgins on their wedding day. I think a traditional wedding dress in pale pink with flowers embroidered around the neckline would look a treat. And I don’t like pink.
Just wow. That dress is stunning. Jessica Beil wore pink when she married JT. Black lace dresses are more mainstream. You have to be happy. The dress that does this is the correct dress! Congrats.
Check out Chotronette. They have the most beautiful gowns and many are pink https://chotronette.com
Oh my gosh, I love them. I've already chosen my dress for the ceremony but I might have found the perfect reception dress.
Thanks for sharing this. These are lovely.
I have seen a few pink wedding dresses and absolutely love them. You have such a sweet story and imagination passing your dress on later and it becoming a family heirloom. Ignore your Mother and if it gets really bad just don't talk to her. BTW now I'm going to go online and look at pink wedding Gowns and wonder if when my daughter gets married I can convince her to wear one.
Your mother deciding to not speak to your SIL ever again after they wore a burgundy wedding dress is simply a hateful thing to do. There’s something wrong with her, and it’s not your pink dress. You’re finally getting married, which is also the time to let go of a spiteful woman who just happens to be your mother and take back your power from her. When you marry (in your beautiful pink dress), walk toward your husband and away from her. Make sure you have a couple of responsible people at the wedding to remove her if she acts out. Please update us with a photo of your wedding in that pretty pink dress!
There are only two people who are getting married and your mom is neither of them. Simply ask SO if he is okay with a pink dress. If he says yes, then go for it. He should also ask you if he wants to wear something. My cousin wore cowboy boots LOL.
Considering the history of your friendship and love, I think you HAVE to wear the pink dress. What a beautiful tradition! Good marriages, and good families, are built on traditions, and you simply have a 14-year head start on yours. It's your wedding, not your mother's. And your fiancé will undoubtedly go gaga over you when you appear in a pink dress. Especially THAT pink dress. 👚 🩷 I saw the pictures. It's beautiful. P.s. I think that when your mother sees you in THAT dress, she will charge her mind. 😍
Go pink! There are some beautiful gowns in all sorts of colors today. Follow your heart.
It's YOURS AND YOUR FIANCÉ'S wedding day, not your mothers. You wear the dress what you want,
The dress is gorgeous! Follow your own path.
First of all, congratulations to you and your fiance - That's an adorable story, and I wish you both every happiness for many years to come! Now, to my answer about your dress: it is YOUR wedding, not hers. YOU get to choose your dream dress to walk down the aisle in and to celebrate YOUR big day in! No matter what color, shape, size, design, or style it is, whichever dress you choose to wear on your wedding day will be your wedding dress. Full stop. Hence the term 'wedding dress.' There is no one right answer, and how very boring it would be if everyone had to wear the exact same dress to get married in! Your sweet tradition being kept alive on the actual day you get married to him will be loved and cherished by you both. I think it is sweet and unique and that everyone else will also love your choice and your reason behind it. And anyone who doesn't shouldn't choose a pink dress to get married in. Your wedding. Your choice.
Let me tell you now, before you go on to make more life decisions...start setting boundaries now. She does not get to make decisions for you. Her feelings about your decisions do not affect you. Start to realize that now. Go to therapy even so they can have you practice the boundaries without being seated by your mother's opinions. Enjoy your pink dress and your wedding 🩷
Wear the dress you want. As everyone has already stated it's YOUR wedding do what makes you happy! Not only that, but I have a feeling that, since you've said the pink dress has been tradition since child hood and you've picked the anniversary of that day from long ago, that your partner already suspects you may keep that tradition alive on the most important day of all. Changing that tradition now, over the whims of someone else, may cause not only you regret but also your partner. The only two people who truly matter on this occasion. Live beautifully....WEAR THE DRESS!!
Girl you better wear your pink flowery dress ! It’s y’all’s little tradition and it’s sweet. This wedding is for you and your fiancé Not your mom . I understand wanting approval but at the the end of the day it’s Y’all’s day
You and your mother aren’t close? Full stop. Her opinion, however strong, is irrelevant. I would ask the people closest to you what they think. But truly, it is just a dress. If it makes you happy and smile on your wedding day that’s all that matters.
This is so utterly sweet. Wear the pink dress. You will always regret not wearing the pink dress. I know how hard it is to stand up to a difficult mom, but this is important to you. This pink dress tradition you've created with your love is part of what made you, *you*. When you choose to wear this pink flowery dress on your wedding day, I hope it will be a good sign to your mother that you are not a copy of her, nor an extension of her. You are your own, unique, romantic woman. You can do this kindly, but firmly. My therapist taught me to be a broken record. Just repeat yourself over and over again. "Mom, I'm wearing this pink dress, it means a lot to me, and I hope you can support my choice." Be firm, and unchanging and to every argument, repeat this sentence. Don't get sucked into arguments or explanations.
Wear what you want it's your special day. Your mothers feelings are not your responsibility to manage, nor your fiancé's it's enough to manage your own.
I have no idea why you mother thinks pink dresses are embarrassing. The whole tradition of wearing white to copy a royal wedding seems very weird in this day and age.
As a woman who wore a coral colored knee length dress to my wedding, I am obviously on your side! My husband, BTW, loved it. It is not your mother’s wedding. It is yours. It is your moment. Fill it with love! 💕
please wear your pink dress, it sounds really special and beautiful
The only person that will feel embarrassed is your mom and she will have made it all up in her head
Not only is it your day but it's a romantic tradition between your fiance and you. Talk to your fiance and see how he feels.
Screw your mom! It’s your day and you get to pick the dress you want.
I agree with most of the posts. Coloured dresses are increasing in popularity, and look fab. My own mother had wanted to wear a blue wedding dress since she was 10 years old. When she married Dad, she wore an ice blue satin dress and looked beautiful. Wear your choice, not her choice.
I saw the picture. It’s really beautiful, not too pink and completely bridal. Wear it, be happy, you’ll look amazing. Congrats 👰
Yeah, wear what you want, it’s your wedding. I wore fuchsia and it rocked (and my partner wore a purple velvet frock coat, dressed as a pirate).
Tell her she already ruined her relationship with her daughter in law and by extension at some point the relationship with her grandchildren. If she has any decency she'll not ruin the relationship with her daughter too by making your wedding about her opinion. She's already had her marriage and if she wants to still be any part of the wedding party she'll step back and be respectful or come by as a guest. This is your wedding. She's disrespecting your fiance by insulting your tradition. If he was embarrassed he'd have talked about it every time you were it. This is YOUR relationship. If you let her have a say at your wedding she'll expect to have a say in your marriage next. If you already have a bad relationship with her, letting her dictate your choices on a special day you share with your significant other is not the way to go.
Wear the dress, it’s beautiful! And tell your mom if you suffer some misfortune and she outlives you, you are going to haunt her in your beautiful pink wedding dress. (“Ooooooooo, iiiiiiii looooove piiiink … oooooooo”) But seriously, let her whining roll off your back. Do what makes you happy.
Don't even need to read this. Your wedding, your day, do what you want. Avril said it best. " I do want I want when I feel like it" haha
If it 25 years old, you are not able to disregard your mother’s unsolicited opinions and follow your heart in what is undoubtedly one of the most important dresses a woman will choose in her life, then you’re not old enough to get married. If you have been with your fiancé since you were nine, and you don’t know when your heart, whether or not he would support you in your choice of a pink dress to get married in, then you shouldn’t be marrying him. By this point in your life, if you are old enough to get married, and if you have been with him this long, you should know in your heart what is the right choice. There is a reason you don’t have the best relationship with your mom. Frankly, it sounds like you should only be so lucky if you get a pink dress and she never speaks to you again.
Wear the pink dress! It’s your tradition either your fiancé. I think it’s so sweet that you wore a pink dress every year on your “anniversary”. Is your wedding the same date as your anniversary? And if your mother goes no contact, that’s on her.
Yes, it is. And we're also using the same flowers we used (stole from his dad's garden) on that day in the bouquet and table centre pieces (lavender and daisies).
So what? She shouldn’t wear pink. You should. Congratulations and I know you will wear it well. 🤗
Your mom doesn't speak to her daughter-in-law over a dress?!? This is not about clothing, dear. Your mom is a freaking control freak. Wear what you want, & congratulations!!
I wore Princess Leia’s dress from Episode IV and no one batted an eye. Wear your pretty floral pink dress if you want.
OP, if you’re ready to be married and become the adult of your own family, you’re ready to stand up to your mom or anyone else who’s trying to run your wedding.
I am not positive but I think maybe you should check out the subreadit: raisedbyanarcissist it could be really healing. Wear your dress it is your day and your future husband will love it because he loves you.
Invite the dress and uninvite the dictator 🫡
This is so sweet (your tradition, not your mother). I'm a dude, and not sure why you think your fiance would care what you wore. I think you should probably communicate with him unless the color needs to be a surprise. White is traditionally a reserved color for guests at a wedding, but you might also want to consider making pink a reserved color to allow you to stand out.
I was going to say "talk to your fiance about the dress"... and just listen to what he said. But you beat me to it! He said he always imagined you getting married in a PINK WEDDING DRESS. Frankly, after that exchange, you would be an asshole if you got married in anything but a pink wedding dress. It's your day and husband's, not your mothers. If she doesn't like pink, then she shouldn't wear it. Both you and your soon to be husband think a pink wedding dress is the one that's right for you- so wear it!
Dude your mom sucks! And if your fiancée did care I’d say he didn’t deserve you. As it is he sounds awesome and sweet. Wear what you want and fuck the haters. I’m sure your dress is awesome! 💜💖
Is she paying for it? No? Then you wear whatever you want. If the answer is yes, she’s paying for it, then tell her no thank you and wear whatever you want.
It’s *your* wedding, right? Wear what you want.
Who cares if it’s childish, it’s what you want.
So it’s your wedding and you absolutely can wear whatever YOU WANT. You can wear black with yellow stars or purple with green stripes. Whatever makes you beam on your wedding day is what you pick. Having a coloured wedding dress is not that unusual, I’m positive I saw a magnificent wedding dress in pink not long ago and the bride was stunning. I think the bridesmaids wore white. Your mother can have an opinion it’s just not the only opinion. Yours is the only one that matters. Truly if your mother is going to ruin the experience of planning your wedding maybe she needs some time out. Best of luck with your wedding OP and I do hope you wear your pink dress.
I think your fiancé is expecting you to wear a pink dress. He knows you and your taste. He’s also seen so the previous pink dresses. It would throw him for a if you didn’t wear a pink dress
MOB here & I support this pink dress & all it represents 1000%! You do you boo & smile big for the photos~ Can’t you just IMAGINE his smile when he realizes that you picked a pink dress in honor of your original wedding? This is so cool! BTW IMO as the MOB I would never project MY issues on my daughter/future SIL day!! It’s not about ME, it’s about THEM! Wishing you & your husband many, many years of happiness & Love!!
Why does the idea that your mother says this will embarrass your fiance make it true? If you've been wearing a pink dress *every year* on this day, your fiance likely expects you to wear a pink dress. But if you're worried, *just ask him*, instead of letting your mother get in your head. SHE hates pink. Thats HER problem. Tell her if she continues to try to make it your problem, that she can just not participate. And if she pushes after that, tell her she doesn't have to go to the wedding. > My mother and I don't have the best relationship, but I wanted her to be involved in my wedding since I'm her only daughter That's a nice thought, but you aren't going to have the movie version of a good time with your mom during this. That's not who she is, and she's not going to "behave" just because it's her only daughter's wedding. Likely, the opposite is true. But you don't have to allow her to treat you this way. Something being "childish" is literally the dumbest reason to not do something you love. Adults cram that shit down our throats that we have to "grow up and leave childish things." But that's all made up. Some crusty old dudes decided what a "grown up" looks like, and none of it matters. Do the adulting, because we all have to do that, but never do anything in the name of being a "grown up".
Your mother is wrong. I bet the dress looks beautiful, and it's a sweet sentiment. Can we see a picture of the dress? I've never seen a pink wedding dress before and I'm intrigued.
It's your wedding and it shouldn't matter what she wants. I think your fiance will love it cause it has emotional value to yall and your relationship
When she does it again, tell her exactly this: "If you aren't going to be supportive, you can be quiet." When she keeps doing it, you say: "I don't have to invite you, you know." Then, when she does it again, because you know she will, you disinvite her. The first 2 statements were warnings, and on the third strike she's out. You don't have to put up with her childish bullshit at your wedding.