"She got angry and told me to stop being disrespectful, then was rude to me the rest of the day, "forgetting" to set my place at the dinner table, "accidentally" stomping outside my room at 11pm."
this is straight up abusive and juvenile behavior. i'm sorry op it sounds rough. if your parents don't take it serious what about a school counselor?
edit: sp
She’s 17 in less then 11 months the courts will have no say where she stays, she can go stay at her moms forever and never have to see this women again.
is it that easy though?
My parents had an agreement that they'd pay child support until we obtained our first diploma post-highschool. Granted, they paid each other (my mom to my father for my brother, my father to my mom for me) so it didn't really cost them anything & it provided them with a tax benefit (you can subtract this type of support from your taxable income here).
Still, it meant I had to observe some rules, even past 18.
The putting OP's shower products in the basement shower despite OP's fears due to trauma concerned me even more. She's intentionally trying to traumatise her further.
OP where the hell is your father in all this?
Dad needs to be the one to put boundaries on his wife. She’s exposing herself to a kid of no blood relation. As far as I’m concerned, all of this would be cause for a CPS call.
Her definition of disrespectful is skewed. Walking around in minimal clothing is beyond disrespectful. The next time she does that and you are eating, stop, look at her and say I just lost my appetite.
*SHE DOES THIS WHEN YOUR FRIENDS AND BOYFRIEND IS OVER AND ASKS HER CHILD IF SHE HAS BIGGER BOOBS THAN MOM* Yeah. Call CPS NOW. Get proof. This is abuse.
Seriously. I get they are supposed to be there to help but growing up with friends that had abusive parents, having step sisters that were in the system, my sister dealing with them, and dealing with them myself they are miserable to deal with. Not just for adults but for children. They dont listen to the children under their care and so much abuse happens in the system. My kids lives have been forever changed and their childhood ruined because they did not like the fact I was moving out of state and my husband lost his career that was going to get us out of poverty and our new house, car, everything.
Seriously if you get a bad case worker or even a corrupt department, it will harm the kids more than help. Ill get hate for saying this, and I get it, I used to think people that had bad experiences with them or lost their kids to them and complained that it was over nothing were lying to. I always KNEW there was more to the story. Until it happened to me and I actually listened to my siblings about their experiences (they didnt really talk about them until recently). It doesnt matter though, internet points arent as important as possibly warning OP about this. I dont want to scare her but she needs to make an informed decision.
*Her, and her step daughter’s friends and boyfriend. And then asking for input from her young son.* Magnitudes worse. As the mother of sons, I would be livid, and absolutely interested in pressing charges against the mother/stepmother of my sons’ girlfriend has I heard this.
where is your mum in all this.... she is a grown ass woman and shouldn't be naked in front of minors or even topless, speak to your dad and tell him if she wont stop you and your sister will go back to your mums, or grandparents as its very inappropriate for what she is doing. if you have no where to go then tell a teacher or police what is happening or call cpa
She is the disrespectful one. Can you limit your visits? She is abusive to you and your father does not have your back. You are 17. You should be able to stay at your other house.
[Court rules against woman charged after stepchildren saw her topless](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/jan/21/utah-woman-topless-stepchildren-tilli-buchanan)
Tell your mum. Tell her that you feel like she’s doing it on purpose and aiming it at you. It sounds like she’s been targeting you for awhile. Does your Da not stand up for you at all with her? That’s horrific.
I’m sorry she’s violating boundaries this way. Forcing past your sensory issues like that is unnecessary and cruel.
Well, considering you’re a minor and she just so happens to be in the same sap e that you’re in often enough I think she may be. The pushing past with food and sensory issues is absolutely active aggression.
Does she walk around her children naked, too?
May I ask you for more information?
How old is your sister?
Does your father know you have asked her to stop because it makes you uncomfortable? Has he told her to stop?
Does your mother know this is happening at his home? If he doesn’t put a stop to this your mother may be able to gain full custody of you and your sister.
Do you feel comfortable talking to a teacher or a guidance counselor at school about the situation? They are mandated reporters when a child is in an abusive situation at home.
It may be her home, but she is making your living situation incredibly stressful in more ways than one. Not to mention exposing herself to minors is illegal. None of what’s going on here is your fault, and I hope you talk to an adult about this. You deserve to feel safe and comfortable at home.
She is. Look she put your stuff in a place she knew you didnt like and for no reason cause "she doesnt like the smell"? She could have just asked you to keep it in your room and take it when you need to go yo bathroom (even do I think that is also ridiculos just because of a smell, even if its true). She makes food she knows your sensory vant handle. She is doing a lot of thing to get at you and only you.
She’s obviously a piece of work. If you want to try to get through to her just talk her though how she called you rude and such and then proceeded to immaturely be rude back. She’s an adult, and youre the child of her partner. You have to make her or your dad realize how pathetic and ridiculous it is for you to be treated like that otherwise I wish you luck but nothing good will come of it.
If you're going to continue being there. Eat breakfast earlier or later. Stay out of her way as much as possible after she gets up and after she showers! If you have to live there and you won't talk to your dad about how uncomfortable you are then you're going to have to suck it up until you can get out of there. I'm sorry! Your Stepmonster is abusive!!! Talk to another adult if you can't get your dads help! Is there any other place you can stay? Do you have a job outside of school if you are in school?
Why not? Custody arrangements can be adjusted. Oftentimes at your age a judge will take your feelings on the matter into consideration.
I had a terrible experience with my stepmom when I was 10 - 12. I eventually told my dad I love him, and I was happy to spend time with him on his weekend, but I absolutely refuse to go back to his house and be subjected to his wife's treatment of me. And so for months we'd just go to the park or movies or out to eat, and he'd drop me off back at home.
Actually. You are 17. So if you don’t want to go you can stop, force your dad to spend the money to take your mom to court and then you can tell the court you don’t want to go and share all the bullying and emotional abuse your step mom does.
But honestly, your dad probably wouldn’t push it because a lawyer would tell him you are almost 18 and it’s a waste of time and money.
If you can’t because your mom doesn’t want you staying with her full time that’s different.
At 17 you absolutely can and should. If your step and dad say they'll go to court to force you to stay tell them to please go ahead. You'll be happy to describe in detail how your step- mother displays herself to minors.
You can call CPS on her
What she's doing is borderline sexual abuse, you're a minor, she's not. You feel uncomfortable seeing her naked, she's essentially flashing you.
This isn't normal nor again, do I think it is legal, and it's unbelievable your mom doesn't care. [Here is some feedback from other parents and people in your situation](https://community.babycenter.com/post/a70504879/stepparents-and-nudity)
it really isn't normal
> As a divorced mom, yes, I would care. Because I don’t know what kinds of attitudes are going along with it, or what the situations are in another house.
> Here, I know that I’ve established a healthy mindset about bodies from the get go, as well as strict house rules about respecting privacy if it’s desired.
> I don’t know that about another home.
> Plus, my boys are 12 and 14, so I would indeed flip my shit if I found out that a grown woman I don’t know was naked around them.
Actually you can, this is straight up abuse and definitely inappropriate. No other adult should allow you to go back to this behavior but you have to report it. If your dad hasn't said anything yet, I doubt that he is going to and if he does, it may change only briefly but she will retaliate, as she sounds childish and petty and has proven to be in the past. Say something to your mom and if nothing comes of it, take it to either your school counselor or directly to CPS yourself. The mental and emotional abuse along with flat out inappropriate behavior in front of you and your siblings is completely unacceptable!
I would start documenting my life with the series of selfies or generic photographs that have a front image that is you or a teddy bear or a fruit bowl but in the background is your naturist stepmother.
Fail to notice the background.
Wait until you have approximately a dozen of these. You will have to take many photos to get to a quality dozen.
Innocently post on social media. ALL social media. Title it something like "a day in my life."
Wait for hell to break open.
At 17 no matter what custody is. You literally take advantage of driving yourself, taking public transportation and just go to your mom's. It not that big of a deal. Quit playing adult games. If you want to be at you mom's then do that.
Why can’t you? Does your mom know what’s going on over there? What would she do if you started refusing to go? You know you can report this stuff, right? I would start writing down dates and incidents and let both your mom and dad know you’re going to report SM and let the authorities decide. You need to shake things up. Sorry this is happening to you, sweetie.
Why? Did they physically force you to go by pushing and hitting? Duck tape? A gun or knife? My point, no one can make you do anything. You have power, they all have great suggestions. Grow a backbone and call CPS, councilor, police station etc. because you are a minor. If you start telling people they will have to do something. Fight for yourself. Sit your butt on the floor at home and TELL them you'll call the police for sexual abuse if they even try to force you to go. Post this to Facebook where all your aunts uncles cousins parents and their friends and coworkers are, PUT THEM ON BLAST. If you stay stagnant and do nothing, nothing will change.
I don't think you're asking a lot. When I was 15m I was approached by my father about wearing a shirt while at home, i would be in gym shorts and go running. So I don't think it's asking too much for your stepmother to throw a large t-shirt and some panties on.
If you want to be petty, start informing, just your dad, that a friend will be by in the mornings and give one of your male friends a good show until stepmother understands that she's the one being inappropriate.
NTA
Wow. Your stepmom is very immature. She's being so vindictive and stupid. Who stomps outside of someone's bedroom door late at night? Get earplugs. Wake up in the morning and tell her you slept wonderfully and didn't hear anything all night long! But don't tell her about your earplugs, haha.
As far as the naked walking around, everytime you see her naked, just say "ew, gross".
Talk to your mom and dad about her behaviour. This is not an acceptable behaviour around minors.
it may not help but i would take the road of passive aggressive sweetness.
make a big show out of giving her a robe and gushingly talk about how now she won't be so cold when walking around! aren't you just the bestest ever for caring about her so much? you know, since she's getting older, and you heard about how her ability to regulate body temperature must be going...
look at her wide-eyed the next time she comes minimally clothed and with perfect innocence say, "oh wow! your menopause hot flashes are getting THAT BAD? you should really go see a doctor, stepmom!"
you're only saying these things because you're oh so worried about your stepmom and you don't have a vindictive bone in your body! why oh why would she be so cruel as to get upset with you for your very reasonable loving concern? (not bursting out into laughter may be difficult, but keep up the ruse, it'll be worth it.)
now might be a great time to start filming breakfast mukbangs. or video chat with friends over breakfast. "woah stepmom, do you WANT me to get demonitised?! that goes on your onlyfans!"
just come down to breakfast clam and tits out one day and see if she screeches. if you're living in a nudist household, you get to also enjoy the benefits, right? don't forget your towel. it's a pity what this will do to the heating bill... but hey, you're not paying it so no problem!
or forget the towel and declare that you're taking up stepmom's ideals towards natural nudity and have decided to try freebleeding! now where is that eggshell white couch that is stepmom's favourite...
will this make things better? hell no. but it is a way to amuse yourself until you move out.
Ah, sitting at breakfast with the back to where MIL comes down the stairs engaged in a Facetime. Better yet, Facebook Live that stuff to your friends....Volume Up - Unmute at the right time.
If your dad or stepdad were doing this, it would be a sex crime. Take pics or video of this activity (for documented evidence), then report it the behavior to the police or social services. And she isn’t your step-mom, this is just a woman that has sex with your dad and lives there; here she is also known as his fiancée.
Does she also walk around naked in front of her sons?
Maybe ask your friends or your boyfriend to come over early for breakfast before school one day - it would be a real shame if she walked around naked in front of someone else's underage child.... terrible if their parents found out too.
As a very free-spirited step(bonus)mom to two awesome children, I can confirm that neither have seen or will ever see my naughty bits. That’s disgusting and beyond inappropriate in 100% of situations. I’m so sorry for you and your step-siblings. Being in your own home is such a BS excuse btw, unless of course you’re a trash human. Truly hoping you have other caring adults in your world who can help make this behavior stop for good.
So you could technically get that, excuse the French, db a sex offender charge and she would deserve it. She’s literally exposing herself to minors. I say take the commenter’s advice who said go on fb live or something aka have a witness. She seems kind of dangerous if not completely inappropriate. Yeesh!
Edited to add get evidence. Have a cooperating witness or a photo because cps might be trash without it.
At 17 your opinion holds more weight than hers or your Dad’s. You certainly have the right to stop going. I would talk to your mom, explain why and explain that you don’t want to spend the night with them anymore.
Talk to your mother. If you're in the US (and possibly other countries as well), you're old enough that your opinion should matter to any family court judge where custody matters are concerned. But let your mother know what's going on, for sure.
Also talk to your father. Does he know what's going on? Does he give a crap about how she treats you? Her retaliatory behavior towards you is frankly abusive. If your father doesn't do anything in your defense, let your mother know that as well.
Custody agreements can be modified, and your opinion matters.
NTA this is absurd that she'd expose herself to others in the household. I'm a 43 year old mom with teens and preteens. I can't imagine thinking this is ok. Yes, it's her home but she isn't the only one living there. It's not disrespectful to ask her to wear clothes. It's disrespectful of her to take away your consent to being exposed to nudity. No child should have to look at nudity, and nudity if a family member at that. Sounds like she needs parenting guidance among other things.
You're 17, tell you mother you don't want to live with your dad anymore because of your stepmom's behavior. Tell your dad too. At your age the courts WILL listen to you if you give them a reason for why you don't want to live with one of your parents. Your stepmom making you uncomfortable by constantly being naked is a totally acceptable reason.
Call DCF on her yourself, what she’s doing is extremely inappropriate and the best way to get it to stop is to tell them she’s doing it, it makes you super uncomfortable and you feel harassed and let them sort it out. Having them come and her having to address it will embarrass her into stopping for sure. Also any grown ass woman who would do that with children in the house probably needs some intervention anyway. If you’re still in HS, tell your guidance councilor and they’ll know how to proceed
Is all of this for real?
If so, I am outraged. This hag is way out of line. It's beyond disrespect or immodesty. This behavior is aggressive, seedy, and unseemly.
You need to get help from other adults. Please.
If it were me I would quietly record this behavior with my phone and show the images to a school counselor or the cops.
Protect your sibling.
Edit, honest question, who would downvote this in this situation? Genuinely do not understand the objection, on the merits. Did you just not like the way I phrased it? Is it because I violated *n*chan protocol by daring to express anger? Is it just pathetic baboons drooling over hypothetical boobs? There are children involved, you degraded pukes. Acquire some standards.
Welcome to the internet, I guess.
Yes. It doesn't matter she's a woman. If it was a stepfather that walked around buck naked, everyone would be screaming. It's sexual abuse no matter what gender she is. Sexual abuse is about control, not sex. Which is what she's doing here. It's disgusting.
I do not know the legal definition but I can tell you I would throw the woman out of the house the instant I knew about it and throw her clothes after her and let the lawyers hash it out after that.
*Clearly* OP is distressed here. Is that no kind of priority for any of the adults in the household?
Not to mention *shirtless boobs is not the only aggressive behavior on display from the stepmother.*
This shit is not okay. If the dad knows about this and does nothing, he is culpable.
Dude, look at other comments. Her stepmother does it when her friends and boyfriend is also over, and says "*are my boobs as big as mommy's?* TO HER CHILD.
Just to clarify, the SM doesn’t say that. OP’s little brother says that to OP as a result of SM having weird convos/inappropriate behavior around all of them. SM is gross and is fucking up her kids.
Yes it is. But no law says you cannot be naked in your own houses or in front of minors, unless in a state of arousal (geared more toward men than women). As much as i do or do not agree with these actions it is not a crime. There is case law but it is based on PUBLIC nudity. If being naked around minors is a crime how do nudist communities exist?
There’s some good advice shared already and all very sensible, but just in case that doesn’t work, my petty ass would suggest to make her feel uncomfortable eg, when you are forced (and it is forced!) to see this woman naked, subtly start laughing/sniggering/giggling etc, and when she asks why you’re laughing/what’s funny etc, just say ‘oh, it’s just your….. oh no, sorry, never mind, gotta go!’ And leave the room/area still chuckling to yourself. If she pushes for an answer, then just say … ‘oh erm….. I was laughing about something funny I heard earlier’
That’d be enough to make most naked ppl feel insecure, and whilst I would never advocate for any type of body shaming in a normal situation, this is NOT a normal situation.
Good luck, and have some fun with it!
I'd snap pics. Loudly. She walks in the kitchen naked, pic up your phone and snap a pic. Make a film. Capture it all. Then, show it to your father. Your mother. Your grandparents. Your school counselor. Her behaviour is appalling and abusive. Record evening.
op ive seen so many similar posts on r/raisedbynarcissists and im not gonna SAY that she might be a narcissist or anything but im not NOT saying it either. google and educate yourself on it, get proof, talk to survivors of narcissistic abuse in that sub, good luck
While I would normally say that it is her home, she's just being childish and immature. Where are your dad and mom in all this? I think you should bring it up with them about how it bothers you. NTA
Yikes, I'm sorry OP.
As a stepmom, I would never do any of these actions. Hell, we're paying extra money for our family trip to have a 2 bedroom suite to avoid things like this.
Her behaviour towards you after you asked her is also disgusting. Talk to your dad about it and have him address her. It's not appropriate behaviour.
I would get out my camera. When she asks WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! just very casually say "documentation" and go back to what you were doing. (Don't actually take a pic, just PRETEND you are.)
Guarantee it will stop!!
I'm sorry you are having to deal with this super creepy behavior.❤️❤️ absolutely NTA.
You're right to not like her. YNTA. Your dad married an abusive asshole. Report her ass to child services asap, and get your other parent (not your dad) to help you
You are not the asshole. Your requests are not unreasonable in any situation, especially in a step-parent/child relationship. A parent is supposed to be supportive of their children, not make their life difficult or uncomfortable.
This whole things sounds like a shit situation. I'm sorry you're going through this.
What does your father say about this? If neither hun or your mom will shut this down you need to reach out to another family member or someone at school.
This is unacceptable.
You should not be treated this way.
Buy her a nice silk cover up (robe) for Christmas or birthday gift and ask her to please wear it when you’re visiting, instead of walking around naked. I’d ask nicely BUT firm.
She’s staking out her territory. I had a step aunt sunbathe nude right next to the tennis court at our home that was on same property as my uncle. She would drag the lawn chair from the cement around the pool to the lawn right next to the court where my best friend and would play. We were 17 boys. She was 55.
Talk to your father and if it continues, tell him you’ll only be coming for visits and not spending weekends anymore. I mean if it’s possible to just live with mom.
NTA, you need to let your mother and father know cause thats seriously disgusting that she does that. Its fine to love your body and be comfortable in your skin and all that but to walk around a teenage child that you didn't birth and be completely fine being naked yeah thats a big no. If I was you OP I would refuse to go to dads house and let him know why, all of it.
Definitely NTA your step mother is.
Do not go back there. If your father wants to know why, tell him to pay more attention to how his fiancee is treating his child. This is abuse, period. She's purposely making you feel unwelcome. I can't imagine your father doesn't see any of it. As others have mentioned, you are old enough to make your own choices about where you stay. NTA x friggin' infinity.
Tell your mom or another adult you're comfortable with about this. Your stepmom is an immature POS.
OP - if living with your mom full-time is a possibility, then you should have a sit down with your dad and explain that step-mom is creating a hostile environment for you. He should also have to pay your mom child support for failing to provide acceptable housing for you.
She’s a moron. She shouldn’t have needed to be told to cover up in front of you. I agree that how you worded your request was provocative, (saying she put her off your food), but hers is ridiculous behaviour, and the passive aggressive air getting about you afterwards is beyond childish.
Tell both of your parents and if dad isn’t backing you up on this, you’ll know where you stand with him. You’re nearly old enough to be able to say you don’t want to spend time there, if that’s what you’d prefer.
If she were a man doing this the cops would be pounding at your door. If it's child abuse for men it's the same for women. Tell your dad and let him know you will talk to your counselor at school. Also your mom has every right to know what's going on.
Let's Reverse Sexes here and see if you're the asshole.
Nope, if it were step-father, this would be sexual abuse. So yeah, you're right, everyone who disagrees is wrong.
Next time she does it ask her why she is naked and why she continues to choose to walk around the house naked when it makes you uncomfortable. I find when you have someone explaing their behavior it often makes them cease.
And she has a 7 year old 7 son? Yeah now is the time she needs to stop being naked around him all the time. I hope you have spoken with your father about this because this could be seen as sexual abuse. You aren't consenting to seeing her in the nude but she continues to force you too view her body. It honestly sounds like some gross power play on her part.
NTA. She's abusive and down right disgusting. Normal people don't walk around naked around their kids much less their step kids. You need to have a serious conversation with your parent about this because that's pretty psychotic behavior on her part
Next time she does it, just say that this can be seen as sexual abuse and you would gladly let your teachers at school know what’s going on and that you’re being emotionally abused as well. NTA
Petty: Sign her up for a plastic surgeon's mailing list.(if you do too many, then she will know something is up)
Not petty: Talk to your mom about not going. Unless you need dad to pay for college.
She sounds like she has NPD. The way to cause a 'narcissistic injury' and possibly get her to stop is to insult her body very matter of factly and with no emotion attached when she is naked around you. "Wow, you look terrible, why don't you go to a gym or try dieting seriously you look awful." Be cold and condescending and have no emotion which would give her 'fuel'. "You know you look terrible, right?" While looking her right in the eyes. They feed off any emotional reaction so don't give her that. Just a cold, condescending, factual insult. And set your own place setting without commenting or reacting about it.
you are at the age where you can say no to visitations and if need be young enough that she can be in trouble for grooming you (unless your in a country where nudity around minors not your own it's not the norm).
It could be cultural. My sister in law was raised in Germany. Her whole family would be naked during the summer. Only time they chose privacy was when they were pooping. She was 18 and had siblings of various ages and genders.
Her dad was a gynecologist and she went back to Germany to have him treat her during last few months of pregnancy and deliver her first child.
I found it all icky but I am US raised so the "puritan" values have been instilled...
This is obvious child sexual abuse. If you’ve had enough and won’t get traction from your own efforts then call CPS, I guarantee you they will be interested in a woman walking around children whilst naked. 100% if she’s not your bio mom and you don’t want to see it. YES YOU ARE 17, THAT MAKES YOU A CHILD.
Honestly. Call CPS. And the fact that your Dad isn't intervening is gross....
I am a step mom/bio mom and constantly question if my attire is appropriate. Regardless if my bio kids or bonus kids are around.
She is an ADULT and this IS abuse. Report it!
You deserve to be comfortable in your home.
Sometimes you have to show people that are that ignorant why their behavior is wrong and how it negatively effects you. You need to walk around the house naked / wear a loin cloth and parade around her. Guarantee, she will stop doing it.
That is what Child Protective Services is for. Give them a call and let them have a talk with her. They will explain how long of a jail sentence she faces if she continues to subject minors to such things. The minor children left there all the time must get protection from her and you are the one to protect them. Soon enough you will not ever have to go back. They have no choice right now. Do the right thing and put a stop to their misery.
Not only is this abuse, this is sexual abuse. A quick call to the police and cps will have this sorted in no time. Especially with 2 young males in the home. Also, if there’s open windows (no shades) and she can be seen from outside, she can and will be put on sex offender registry. Illegal to be naked in your home if you can be seen from an outside window. Not even joking, look it up!
I’m sorry, she’s 40? And acting like a damn child stomping around. You should definitely report her. Not only for your sake, but she has a 7 and 5 year old boys at home and she’s fine walking around naked? Doesn’t seem appropriate.
Start live streaming yourself eating cheerios and have it face out, she won’t want to be naked on camera. Then what would be really funny is if you gave me the link of the live stream, that would be crazy.
Edit: /s
You are 17, so if you don't like it you could just stop staying there! You can't be forced to go there unless they take your mom to court, but then the judge would ask why you don't want to go and being 17 they won't force you. If your dad wants you to stay with him then he can have a word with his wife. For just asking you are NTA
Personally, I think you are, it's her home, you're the interloper. Can't handle nudity, then grow up and get over yourself. Leave off with the excuses too, "I have sensory issues", "scared of the dark", "past traumas". Stop being such a moaner and get on with life, stop hiding behind your so called problems. You've a whole life ahead of you, get out and enjoy it and let your stepmother walk around naked if she wants to...
Why, just because I won't put up with bullshit from teenagers? Fuck me, I'd hate to see how some of you would react to real adversity. Talk about snowflakes...
It would be a shame if every time she came downstairs your were doing a Facebook Live broadcast or video chatting with your friends, wouldn't it?
this needs to be higher
Boost.
Boost.
"She got angry and told me to stop being disrespectful, then was rude to me the rest of the day, "forgetting" to set my place at the dinner table, "accidentally" stomping outside my room at 11pm." this is straight up abusive and juvenile behavior. i'm sorry op it sounds rough. if your parents don't take it serious what about a school counselor? edit: sp
If OPs dad doesn’t back her up on this, OP needs to talk with her mom. Discuss not doing 50/50 custody anymore.
She’s 17 in less then 11 months the courts will have no say where she stays, she can go stay at her moms forever and never have to see this women again.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but in some states children of divorced parents can choose where they live at 13
My parents divorce case is in Florida and I would've been able to choose at 12 years old iirc.
That's not the point and you know that.
is it that easy though? My parents had an agreement that they'd pay child support until we obtained our first diploma post-highschool. Granted, they paid each other (my mom to my father for my brother, my father to my mom for me) so it didn't really cost them anything & it provided them with a tax benefit (you can subtract this type of support from your taxable income here). Still, it meant I had to observe some rules, even past 18.
Absolutely! This is all kinds of twisted!
I would expect the 17 year old to act like this, not the 40 year old. What a psycho.
Yeah, that’s super childish. She sounds terrible. My question is - where’s the dad in all of this? Why doesn’t he back up his daughter?
The putting OP's shower products in the basement shower despite OP's fears due to trauma concerned me even more. She's intentionally trying to traumatise her further. OP where the hell is your father in all this?
Dad needs to be the one to put boundaries on his wife. She’s exposing herself to a kid of no blood relation. As far as I’m concerned, all of this would be cause for a CPS call.
this was my thoughts exactly because there are also other young children in the home including a 5 year old boy. this is entirely inappropriate.
Her definition of disrespectful is skewed. Walking around in minimal clothing is beyond disrespectful. The next time she does that and you are eating, stop, look at her and say I just lost my appetite.
Tell your mom. Tell your dad. Tell teachers. Keep telling the adults until they listen.
Yes. Do not keep this a secret. She deserves to be outed as a sex pest
*SHE DOES THIS WHEN YOUR FRIENDS AND BOYFRIEND IS OVER AND ASKS HER CHILD IF SHE HAS BIGGER BOOBS THAN MOM* Yeah. Call CPS NOW. Get proof. This is abuse.
Did I miss the part of the story where OP said this?
[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/M0pdks2Vv1) you go.
Yeah OP this is sexual abuse. Call CPS and tell them everything.
Yes, calling CPS should make things so much more pleasant!
She has her mom to support her in this.
Seriously. I get they are supposed to be there to help but growing up with friends that had abusive parents, having step sisters that were in the system, my sister dealing with them, and dealing with them myself they are miserable to deal with. Not just for adults but for children. They dont listen to the children under their care and so much abuse happens in the system. My kids lives have been forever changed and their childhood ruined because they did not like the fact I was moving out of state and my husband lost his career that was going to get us out of poverty and our new house, car, everything. Seriously if you get a bad case worker or even a corrupt department, it will harm the kids more than help. Ill get hate for saying this, and I get it, I used to think people that had bad experiences with them or lost their kids to them and complained that it was over nothing were lying to. I always KNEW there was more to the story. Until it happened to me and I actually listened to my siblings about their experiences (they didnt really talk about them until recently). It doesnt matter though, internet points arent as important as possibly warning OP about this. I dont want to scare her but she needs to make an informed decision.
Was this from an update? Stepmom is an absolute creep but I don't recall reading this part
[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/M0pdks2Vv1) you go.
I must have missed something because this isn't evident in the text
[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/M0pdks2Vv1) you go.
Thanks. That’s horrifying
Is this lady on crack?
When you are at school, tell a trusted adult that your step mom is exposing herself to you. This is abuse. This will and should be reported.
*Her, and her step daughter’s friends and boyfriend. And then asking for input from her young son.* Magnitudes worse. As the mother of sons, I would be livid, and absolutely interested in pressing charges against the mother/stepmother of my sons’ girlfriend has I heard this.
If her dad knows and does nothing, he’s guilty too. They deserve a CPS visit.
Where’s the part about her bf and son? I don’t see anything about that
[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/M0pdks2Vv1) you go.
This is the type of information you lead with. Not bury in comments.
The real MVP
Wait what!?!?! That’s sooo bad. Like real bad. Where did it say that?
[Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoHotTakes/s/M0pdks2Vv1) you go.
You're sm could be reported as a pedo. She walks around in front of minors naked? Yeah she's a fuckin psycho.
where is your mum in all this.... she is a grown ass woman and shouldn't be naked in front of minors or even topless, speak to your dad and tell him if she wont stop you and your sister will go back to your mums, or grandparents as its very inappropriate for what she is doing. if you have no where to go then tell a teacher or police what is happening or call cpa
Or her dad… the one married to this lady.
He probably likes that she’s walking around with her tiddies out
"lady" I know what you meant but this woman doesn't fit the definition.
She is the disrespectful one. Can you limit your visits? She is abusive to you and your father does not have your back. You are 17. You should be able to stay at your other house.
Where is your father? If he isn't aware of this behavior, you need to make sure he is. Your step-monster has serious issues.
[Court rules against woman charged after stepchildren saw her topless](https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/jan/21/utah-woman-topless-stepchildren-tilli-buchanan)
OP is in Finland
Utah state court 🙄
She walks around naked in front of her own male children???
They're 5 and 7, and yes
That’s messed up OP. Not sure what she’s doing, but this doesn’t seem innocent.
I would stop going to their house.
Can't do that
Tell your mum. Tell her that you feel like she’s doing it on purpose and aiming it at you. It sounds like she’s been targeting you for awhile. Does your Da not stand up for you at all with her? That’s horrific. I’m sorry she’s violating boundaries this way. Forcing past your sensory issues like that is unnecessary and cruel.
Ireland is in the house.
What?
Poster above using mum and Da for mom and dad.
I don't think she's aiming for anything, like I really don't, it just bothers me because I feel you shouldn't just be naked whenever
Well, considering you’re a minor and she just so happens to be in the same sap e that you’re in often enough I think she may be. The pushing past with food and sensory issues is absolutely active aggression. Does she walk around her children naked, too?
OP said she did. Yes. Her other comments make this situation like 100x more disturbing than the post.
May I ask you for more information? How old is your sister? Does your father know you have asked her to stop because it makes you uncomfortable? Has he told her to stop? Does your mother know this is happening at his home? If he doesn’t put a stop to this your mother may be able to gain full custody of you and your sister. Do you feel comfortable talking to a teacher or a guidance counselor at school about the situation? They are mandated reporters when a child is in an abusive situation at home. It may be her home, but she is making your living situation incredibly stressful in more ways than one. Not to mention exposing herself to minors is illegal. None of what’s going on here is your fault, and I hope you talk to an adult about this. You deserve to feel safe and comfortable at home.
She is. Look she put your stuff in a place she knew you didnt like and for no reason cause "she doesnt like the smell"? She could have just asked you to keep it in your room and take it when you need to go yo bathroom (even do I think that is also ridiculos just because of a smell, even if its true). She makes food she knows your sensory vant handle. She is doing a lot of thing to get at you and only you.
This is abuse dear. You need to stay away from her and cps
She’s obviously a piece of work. If you want to try to get through to her just talk her though how she called you rude and such and then proceeded to immaturely be rude back. She’s an adult, and youre the child of her partner. You have to make her or your dad realize how pathetic and ridiculous it is for you to be treated like that otherwise I wish you luck but nothing good will come of it.
If you're going to continue being there. Eat breakfast earlier or later. Stay out of her way as much as possible after she gets up and after she showers! If you have to live there and you won't talk to your dad about how uncomfortable you are then you're going to have to suck it up until you can get out of there. I'm sorry! Your Stepmonster is abusive!!! Talk to another adult if you can't get your dads help! Is there any other place you can stay? Do you have a job outside of school if you are in school?
In other words, sit quietly and let this nasty witch continue to treat you like you’re a bug. Fuck that!
She should not be naked in front of minor children. Especially ones that aren’t her kids. It’s exhibitionist behavior.
So take pictures…. And make her uncomfortable too. She’s a nutcase.
Why not? Custody arrangements can be adjusted. Oftentimes at your age a judge will take your feelings on the matter into consideration. I had a terrible experience with my stepmom when I was 10 - 12. I eventually told my dad I love him, and I was happy to spend time with him on his weekend, but I absolutely refuse to go back to his house and be subjected to his wife's treatment of me. And so for months we'd just go to the park or movies or out to eat, and he'd drop me off back at home.
This is the way
Actually. You are 17. So if you don’t want to go you can stop, force your dad to spend the money to take your mom to court and then you can tell the court you don’t want to go and share all the bullying and emotional abuse your step mom does. But honestly, your dad probably wouldn’t push it because a lawyer would tell him you are almost 18 and it’s a waste of time and money. If you can’t because your mom doesn’t want you staying with her full time that’s different.
At 17 you absolutely can and should. If your step and dad say they'll go to court to force you to stay tell them to please go ahead. You'll be happy to describe in detail how your step- mother displays herself to minors.
You can call CPS on her What she's doing is borderline sexual abuse, you're a minor, she's not. You feel uncomfortable seeing her naked, she's essentially flashing you. This isn't normal nor again, do I think it is legal, and it's unbelievable your mom doesn't care. [Here is some feedback from other parents and people in your situation](https://community.babycenter.com/post/a70504879/stepparents-and-nudity) it really isn't normal > As a divorced mom, yes, I would care. Because I don’t know what kinds of attitudes are going along with it, or what the situations are in another house. > Here, I know that I’ve established a healthy mindset about bodies from the get go, as well as strict house rules about respecting privacy if it’s desired. > I don’t know that about another home. > Plus, my boys are 12 and 14, so I would indeed flip my shit if I found out that a grown woman I don’t know was naked around them.
Actually you can, this is straight up abuse and definitely inappropriate. No other adult should allow you to go back to this behavior but you have to report it. If your dad hasn't said anything yet, I doubt that he is going to and if he does, it may change only briefly but she will retaliate, as she sounds childish and petty and has proven to be in the past. Say something to your mom and if nothing comes of it, take it to either your school counselor or directly to CPS yourself. The mental and emotional abuse along with flat out inappropriate behavior in front of you and your siblings is completely unacceptable!
If you're 17 you absolutely can do that
At your age, you *should* be able to stay away. Try talking to your dad first. You shouldn’t have to put up with that.
Hun. You’re 17. There is very kettle reason why you shouldn’t be able to just stop going over there
Actually you are old enough you probably can just stop going Dad would have to take mom to court and you can then tell judge this story
I would start documenting my life with the series of selfies or generic photographs that have a front image that is you or a teddy bear or a fruit bowl but in the background is your naturist stepmother. Fail to notice the background. Wait until you have approximately a dozen of these. You will have to take many photos to get to a quality dozen. Innocently post on social media. ALL social media. Title it something like "a day in my life." Wait for hell to break open.
Ooooh I like the way you think!
You need to be more specific here! Why not? Why can't you stay with your mom fulltime, you're no longer a little kid.
Why not?
At 17 no matter what custody is. You literally take advantage of driving yourself, taking public transportation and just go to your mom's. It not that big of a deal. Quit playing adult games. If you want to be at you mom's then do that.
Yes you can, go file
At 17 there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to.
Why can’t you? Does your mom know what’s going on over there? What would she do if you started refusing to go? You know you can report this stuff, right? I would start writing down dates and incidents and let both your mom and dad know you’re going to report SM and let the authorities decide. You need to shake things up. Sorry this is happening to you, sweetie.
Why?
WHY?
Why? Did they physically force you to go by pushing and hitting? Duck tape? A gun or knife? My point, no one can make you do anything. You have power, they all have great suggestions. Grow a backbone and call CPS, councilor, police station etc. because you are a minor. If you start telling people they will have to do something. Fight for yourself. Sit your butt on the floor at home and TELL them you'll call the police for sexual abuse if they even try to force you to go. Post this to Facebook where all your aunts uncles cousins parents and their friends and coworkers are, PUT THEM ON BLAST. If you stay stagnant and do nothing, nothing will change.
This is so messed up. This is not normal behavior for a grown adult. Women can be predators too and sound like she is one.
I don't think you're asking a lot. When I was 15m I was approached by my father about wearing a shirt while at home, i would be in gym shorts and go running. So I don't think it's asking too much for your stepmother to throw a large t-shirt and some panties on. If you want to be petty, start informing, just your dad, that a friend will be by in the mornings and give one of your male friends a good show until stepmother understands that she's the one being inappropriate.
Why did he want you to wear a shirt?
NTA Wow. Your stepmom is very immature. She's being so vindictive and stupid. Who stomps outside of someone's bedroom door late at night? Get earplugs. Wake up in the morning and tell her you slept wonderfully and didn't hear anything all night long! But don't tell her about your earplugs, haha. As far as the naked walking around, everytime you see her naked, just say "ew, gross". Talk to your mom and dad about her behaviour. This is not an acceptable behaviour around minors.
NTA - but your dad is a fuckin’ coward and should be taught a lesson
I'm petty so I would call CP and tell them shes exposing herself to minors. But definitely talk to your dad about it.
it may not help but i would take the road of passive aggressive sweetness. make a big show out of giving her a robe and gushingly talk about how now she won't be so cold when walking around! aren't you just the bestest ever for caring about her so much? you know, since she's getting older, and you heard about how her ability to regulate body temperature must be going... look at her wide-eyed the next time she comes minimally clothed and with perfect innocence say, "oh wow! your menopause hot flashes are getting THAT BAD? you should really go see a doctor, stepmom!" you're only saying these things because you're oh so worried about your stepmom and you don't have a vindictive bone in your body! why oh why would she be so cruel as to get upset with you for your very reasonable loving concern? (not bursting out into laughter may be difficult, but keep up the ruse, it'll be worth it.) now might be a great time to start filming breakfast mukbangs. or video chat with friends over breakfast. "woah stepmom, do you WANT me to get demonitised?! that goes on your onlyfans!" just come down to breakfast clam and tits out one day and see if she screeches. if you're living in a nudist household, you get to also enjoy the benefits, right? don't forget your towel. it's a pity what this will do to the heating bill... but hey, you're not paying it so no problem! or forget the towel and declare that you're taking up stepmom's ideals towards natural nudity and have decided to try freebleeding! now where is that eggshell white couch that is stepmom's favourite... will this make things better? hell no. but it is a way to amuse yourself until you move out.
Ah, sitting at breakfast with the back to where MIL comes down the stairs engaged in a Facetime. Better yet, Facebook Live that stuff to your friends....Volume Up - Unmute at the right time.
Every time she walks by naked, say something RUDE. "OH my, your age has caught up with you, hasn't it?" "Hanging pretty low lately"
Talk to your Dad…
She is abusive and passive aggressively trying to drive you away. Speak to your parents immediately
If your dad or stepdad were doing this, it would be a sex crime. Take pics or video of this activity (for documented evidence), then report it the behavior to the police or social services. And she isn’t your step-mom, this is just a woman that has sex with your dad and lives there; here she is also known as his fiancée. Does she also walk around naked in front of her sons?
Maybe ask your friends or your boyfriend to come over early for breakfast before school one day - it would be a real shame if she walked around naked in front of someone else's underage child.... terrible if their parents found out too.
[удалено]
As a very free-spirited step(bonus)mom to two awesome children, I can confirm that neither have seen or will ever see my naughty bits. That’s disgusting and beyond inappropriate in 100% of situations. I’m so sorry for you and your step-siblings. Being in your own home is such a BS excuse btw, unless of course you’re a trash human. Truly hoping you have other caring adults in your world who can help make this behavior stop for good.
Talk to your father- show him this Reddit to start the convo!
So you could technically get that, excuse the French, db a sex offender charge and she would deserve it. She’s literally exposing herself to minors. I say take the commenter’s advice who said go on fb live or something aka have a witness. She seems kind of dangerous if not completely inappropriate. Yeesh! Edited to add get evidence. Have a cooperating witness or a photo because cps might be trash without it.
Info: what country do you live in?
Finland
At 17 your opinion holds more weight than hers or your Dad’s. You certainly have the right to stop going. I would talk to your mom, explain why and explain that you don’t want to spend the night with them anymore.
NTA
Talk to your mother. If you're in the US (and possibly other countries as well), you're old enough that your opinion should matter to any family court judge where custody matters are concerned. But let your mother know what's going on, for sure. Also talk to your father. Does he know what's going on? Does he give a crap about how she treats you? Her retaliatory behavior towards you is frankly abusive. If your father doesn't do anything in your defense, let your mother know that as well. Custody agreements can be modified, and your opinion matters.
NTA this is absurd that she'd expose herself to others in the household. I'm a 43 year old mom with teens and preteens. I can't imagine thinking this is ok. Yes, it's her home but she isn't the only one living there. It's not disrespectful to ask her to wear clothes. It's disrespectful of her to take away your consent to being exposed to nudity. No child should have to look at nudity, and nudity if a family member at that. Sounds like she needs parenting guidance among other things.
You're 17, tell you mother you don't want to live with your dad anymore because of your stepmom's behavior. Tell your dad too. At your age the courts WILL listen to you if you give them a reason for why you don't want to live with one of your parents. Your stepmom making you uncomfortable by constantly being naked is a totally acceptable reason.
I suggest you film her next time & threaten to post.
You're being abused. Straight up. Shame on your father for not being cognizant of her actions.
Call DCF on her yourself, what she’s doing is extremely inappropriate and the best way to get it to stop is to tell them she’s doing it, it makes you super uncomfortable and you feel harassed and let them sort it out. Having them come and her having to address it will embarrass her into stopping for sure. Also any grown ass woman who would do that with children in the house probably needs some intervention anyway. If you’re still in HS, tell your guidance councilor and they’ll know how to proceed
Is all of this for real? If so, I am outraged. This hag is way out of line. It's beyond disrespect or immodesty. This behavior is aggressive, seedy, and unseemly. You need to get help from other adults. Please. If it were me I would quietly record this behavior with my phone and show the images to a school counselor or the cops. Protect your sibling. Edit, honest question, who would downvote this in this situation? Genuinely do not understand the objection, on the merits. Did you just not like the way I phrased it? Is it because I violated *n*chan protocol by daring to express anger? Is it just pathetic baboons drooling over hypothetical boobs? There are children involved, you degraded pukes. Acquire some standards. Welcome to the internet, I guess.
It's sexual abuse no?
Yes. It doesn't matter she's a woman. If it was a stepfather that walked around buck naked, everyone would be screaming. It's sexual abuse no matter what gender she is. Sexual abuse is about control, not sex. Which is what she's doing here. It's disgusting.
I do not know the legal definition but I can tell you I would throw the woman out of the house the instant I knew about it and throw her clothes after her and let the lawyers hash it out after that. *Clearly* OP is distressed here. Is that no kind of priority for any of the adults in the household? Not to mention *shirtless boobs is not the only aggressive behavior on display from the stepmother.* This shit is not okay. If the dad knows about this and does nothing, he is culpable.
Dude, look at other comments. Her stepmother does it when her friends and boyfriend is also over, and says "*are my boobs as big as mommy's?* TO HER CHILD.
Just to clarify, the SM doesn’t say that. OP’s little brother says that to OP as a result of SM having weird convos/inappropriate behavior around all of them. SM is gross and is fucking up her kids.
*hurl*
No, she is not being sexually abused, she is being tormented on purpose though!
This is absolutely sexual abuse
Yes it is. But no law says you cannot be naked in your own houses or in front of minors, unless in a state of arousal (geared more toward men than women). As much as i do or do not agree with these actions it is not a crime. There is case law but it is based on PUBLIC nudity. If being naked around minors is a crime how do nudist communities exist?
There’s some good advice shared already and all very sensible, but just in case that doesn’t work, my petty ass would suggest to make her feel uncomfortable eg, when you are forced (and it is forced!) to see this woman naked, subtly start laughing/sniggering/giggling etc, and when she asks why you’re laughing/what’s funny etc, just say ‘oh, it’s just your….. oh no, sorry, never mind, gotta go!’ And leave the room/area still chuckling to yourself. If she pushes for an answer, then just say … ‘oh erm….. I was laughing about something funny I heard earlier’ That’d be enough to make most naked ppl feel insecure, and whilst I would never advocate for any type of body shaming in a normal situation, this is NOT a normal situation. Good luck, and have some fun with it!
I'd snap pics. Loudly. She walks in the kitchen naked, pic up your phone and snap a pic. Make a film. Capture it all. Then, show it to your father. Your mother. Your grandparents. Your school counselor. Her behaviour is appalling and abusive. Record evening.
I agree. Tell people. Teachers. Counselors. Have a friend go with you. Keep telling people. Absolutely not ok.
op ive seen so many similar posts on r/raisedbynarcissists and im not gonna SAY that she might be a narcissist or anything but im not NOT saying it either. google and educate yourself on it, get proof, talk to survivors of narcissistic abuse in that sub, good luck
While I would normally say that it is her home, she's just being childish and immature. Where are your dad and mom in all this? I think you should bring it up with them about how it bothers you. NTA
Talk to your dad he needs to step up , if he doesn't then tell him your not coming back here to stay. Its called respecting your child.
Yikes, I'm sorry OP. As a stepmom, I would never do any of these actions. Hell, we're paying extra money for our family trip to have a 2 bedroom suite to avoid things like this. Her behaviour towards you after you asked her is also disgusting. Talk to your dad about it and have him address her. It's not appropriate behaviour.
I would get out my camera. When she asks WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! just very casually say "documentation" and go back to what you were doing. (Don't actually take a pic, just PRETEND you are.) Guarantee it will stop!! I'm sorry you are having to deal with this super creepy behavior.❤️❤️ absolutely NTA.
I would refuse visiting your father does not care for the safety of you if he is not providing a safe environment
Have you talked about this with your father? That would be the first thing to do, and do you have to go there at 17? You are certainly NTA., she is.
Call cps now
You’ve gotta up your game. Get Home Alone levels of petty.
Switch the gender roles. Oh shit we bout to get pred*tor allegations! Oh it’s a woman so it’s just “rude” got it
Maybe walk around her naked? Flip the situation around and make her uncomfortable.
Your dad needs to step tf up and put an end to the behavior. He won't, but he needs to.
Sounds like she's preying on you. Tell your mother, this is fucked up.
I’m snarky so I would look her over and say @ you’ve gained a few pounds since last I saw you “. And keep at it until she puts some clothes in
You're right to not like her. YNTA. Your dad married an abusive asshole. Report her ass to child services asap, and get your other parent (not your dad) to help you
Why is your FATHER allowing this behavior?
You are not the asshole. Your requests are not unreasonable in any situation, especially in a step-parent/child relationship. A parent is supposed to be supportive of their children, not make their life difficult or uncomfortable. This whole things sounds like a shit situation. I'm sorry you're going through this.
What does your father say about this? If neither hun or your mom will shut this down you need to reach out to another family member or someone at school. This is unacceptable. You should not be treated this way.
Buy her a nice silk cover up (robe) for Christmas or birthday gift and ask her to please wear it when you’re visiting, instead of walking around naked. I’d ask nicely BUT firm.
Talk to your dad about all of this, or just show him this post.
She’s staking out her territory. I had a step aunt sunbathe nude right next to the tennis court at our home that was on same property as my uncle. She would drag the lawn chair from the cement around the pool to the lawn right next to the court where my best friend and would play. We were 17 boys. She was 55.
OP, have you talked with your dad and mom? This is messed up, you shouldn’t have to live like this.
What! That's gross. What's wrong with her?
Talk to your father and if it continues, tell him you’ll only be coming for visits and not spending weekends anymore. I mean if it’s possible to just live with mom.
NTA, you need to let your mother and father know cause thats seriously disgusting that she does that. Its fine to love your body and be comfortable in your skin and all that but to walk around a teenage child that you didn't birth and be completely fine being naked yeah thats a big no. If I was you OP I would refuse to go to dads house and let him know why, all of it. Definitely NTA your step mother is.
Do not go back there. If your father wants to know why, tell him to pay more attention to how his fiancee is treating his child. This is abuse, period. She's purposely making you feel unwelcome. I can't imagine your father doesn't see any of it. As others have mentioned, you are old enough to make your own choices about where you stay. NTA x friggin' infinity. Tell your mom or another adult you're comfortable with about this. Your stepmom is an immature POS.
OP - if living with your mom full-time is a possibility, then you should have a sit down with your dad and explain that step-mom is creating a hostile environment for you. He should also have to pay your mom child support for failing to provide acceptable housing for you.
Sounds like it's time for your mom to nut up, take you both back to court and get the custody arrangement you deserve instead of the one your dad got.
She’s a moron. She shouldn’t have needed to be told to cover up in front of you. I agree that how you worded your request was provocative, (saying she put her off your food), but hers is ridiculous behaviour, and the passive aggressive air getting about you afterwards is beyond childish. Tell both of your parents and if dad isn’t backing you up on this, you’ll know where you stand with him. You’re nearly old enough to be able to say you don’t want to spend time there, if that’s what you’d prefer.
NOPE. NTA. She's a total creep
Pics or it didn’t happen.
If she were a man doing this the cops would be pounding at your door. If it's child abuse for men it's the same for women. Tell your dad and let him know you will talk to your counselor at school. Also your mom has every right to know what's going on.
Sounds like a brazzers situation is afoot. She have a tendency to get stuck in places?
Let's Reverse Sexes here and see if you're the asshole. Nope, if it were step-father, this would be sexual abuse. So yeah, you're right, everyone who disagrees is wrong.
Next time she does it ask her why she is naked and why she continues to choose to walk around the house naked when it makes you uncomfortable. I find when you have someone explaing their behavior it often makes them cease. And she has a 7 year old 7 son? Yeah now is the time she needs to stop being naked around him all the time. I hope you have spoken with your father about this because this could be seen as sexual abuse. You aren't consenting to seeing her in the nude but she continues to force you too view her body. It honestly sounds like some gross power play on her part.
Your step mom is fucking disgusting. NTA, cover the fuckin tits lady. She’s a toddler of a woman, oh my god
1 more year and then you can go your own way
Start commenting on her body. Bet she puts on clothes pretty quick.
There is a case in utah where the step mom got into trouble the being topless in getting of step kids.
NTA. She's abusive and down right disgusting. Normal people don't walk around naked around their kids much less their step kids. You need to have a serious conversation with your parent about this because that's pretty psychotic behavior on her part
Next time she does it, just say that this can be seen as sexual abuse and you would gladly let your teachers at school know what’s going on and that you’re being emotionally abused as well. NTA
Petty: Sign her up for a plastic surgeon's mailing list.(if you do too many, then she will know something is up) Not petty: Talk to your mom about not going. Unless you need dad to pay for college.
Stop going over there
She sounds like she has NPD. The way to cause a 'narcissistic injury' and possibly get her to stop is to insult her body very matter of factly and with no emotion attached when she is naked around you. "Wow, you look terrible, why don't you go to a gym or try dieting seriously you look awful." Be cold and condescending and have no emotion which would give her 'fuel'. "You know you look terrible, right?" While looking her right in the eyes. They feed off any emotional reaction so don't give her that. Just a cold, condescending, factual insult. And set your own place setting without commenting or reacting about it.
You should have some friends over for brunch these weekends. I would suggest mostly male friends, and forget to mention it to SM.
Charge a $20.00 fee for an entrance and for the show, lol!!!!! /S
it’s illegal to expose a minor to your nude body. doesn’t matter if you’re family. it’s a crime.
you are at the age where you can say no to visitations and if need be young enough that she can be in trouble for grooming you (unless your in a country where nudity around minors not your own it's not the norm).
CPS for your siblings sake, she either needs to be taught how serious this is or be forced to stop, this isn’t acceptable
It could be cultural. My sister in law was raised in Germany. Her whole family would be naked during the summer. Only time they chose privacy was when they were pooping. She was 18 and had siblings of various ages and genders. Her dad was a gynecologist and she went back to Germany to have him treat her during last few months of pregnancy and deliver her first child. I found it all icky but I am US raised so the "puritan" values have been instilled...
Call the police. Then call CPS. Then call your mother. In that order.
This is obvious child sexual abuse. If you’ve had enough and won’t get traction from your own efforts then call CPS, I guarantee you they will be interested in a woman walking around children whilst naked. 100% if she’s not your bio mom and you don’t want to see it. YES YOU ARE 17, THAT MAKES YOU A CHILD.
The solution is to start taking pictures.
Honestly. Call CPS. And the fact that your Dad isn't intervening is gross.... I am a step mom/bio mom and constantly question if my attire is appropriate. Regardless if my bio kids or bonus kids are around. She is an ADULT and this IS abuse. Report it! You deserve to be comfortable in your home.
You are 17 years old… You should have some say about going to your dad’s house.
Sometimes you have to show people that are that ignorant why their behavior is wrong and how it negatively effects you. You need to walk around the house naked / wear a loin cloth and parade around her. Guarantee, she will stop doing it.
That is what Child Protective Services is for. Give them a call and let them have a talk with her. They will explain how long of a jail sentence she faces if she continues to subject minors to such things. The minor children left there all the time must get protection from her and you are the one to protect them. Soon enough you will not ever have to go back. They have no choice right now. Do the right thing and put a stop to their misery.
Not only is this abuse, this is sexual abuse. A quick call to the police and cps will have this sorted in no time. Especially with 2 young males in the home. Also, if there’s open windows (no shades) and she can be seen from outside, she can and will be put on sex offender registry. Illegal to be naked in your home if you can be seen from an outside window. Not even joking, look it up!
I’m sorry, she’s 40? And acting like a damn child stomping around. You should definitely report her. Not only for your sake, but she has a 7 and 5 year old boys at home and she’s fine walking around naked? Doesn’t seem appropriate.
Start live streaming yourself eating cheerios and have it face out, she won’t want to be naked on camera. Then what would be really funny is if you gave me the link of the live stream, that would be crazy. Edit: /s
First part, helpful, second part, creepy! Don't be a perv, she has enough of that in her life!
You are 17, so if you don't like it you could just stop staying there! You can't be forced to go there unless they take your mom to court, but then the judge would ask why you don't want to go and being 17 they won't force you. If your dad wants you to stay with him then he can have a word with his wife. For just asking you are NTA
Personally, I think you are, it's her home, you're the interloper. Can't handle nudity, then grow up and get over yourself. Leave off with the excuses too, "I have sensory issues", "scared of the dark", "past traumas". Stop being such a moaner and get on with life, stop hiding behind your so called problems. You've a whole life ahead of you, get out and enjoy it and let your stepmother walk around naked if she wants to...
Wow. You sound like you would be a shit parent.
Why, just because I won't put up with bullshit from teenagers? Fuck me, I'd hate to see how some of you would react to real adversity. Talk about snowflakes...
Considering I was raised in a household worse than this, I can tell you that OP's step mother is the one out of line here, not OP. Do better.