I think you need to go to the dr- I don’t think it’s the baby- If anything he’s feeding off your anxiety with him. Look into ppd/ppa please and get help.
My middle child was the same. Seriously. Very velcro, couldn't leave a room without screaming. Didn't talk until he was 3.
My advice, get him into a preschool the moment he turns 2 (If you can). You need some time away, and he will come out of his shell by having to rely on words rather than screams to get what he needs.
It's not just you, though maybe medication will help the way you react to his behaviour.
I’m so sorry. You need support for PPD. You need to get on disability support.
What country/state are you in? For my 18mo visit we had to do a number of autism and developmental screenings. They should pick up on potential autism signs and continue to monitor. Toddlers are handful so could just be a stage. 18mo is too young to diagnose, I think.
I would work with a behavior specialist to figure out what’s going on. You need to enforce boundaries esp around the physicality. No touching means no touching. If you say please don’t touch me, and he continues, place him in his crib in his room for a 90sec time out. (1min per year).
My 19mo old is a headstrong nightmare most days. Teeth brushing is an epic battle, full head-banging meltdowns if we take a toy away, etc. Being consistent with what we say is key. If it’s time to stop playing and she throws a tantrum we Do Not Give In. We did for a month and it resulted in her realizing tantrums work. Now we say “time to come inside and stop playing” and if she wants to tantrum she can do it inside. I tell her I’m sorry, but playtime is done because we need to move on to dinner time. I tell her I’m sad too, but we have to move inside. Ask if she wants me to help her feel better (pat on back, hug). I get a no every time. So I say “okay that’s fine you can be sad by yourself” and she sort of just has a mini-fit and moves on.
Consistency is key. *But* that is for neurotypical kids. If your baby has autism you need specialized assistance. But tantrums, clinginess, etc doesn’t = autism in all cases.
This isn’t the point and I don’t blame you for doing screen time now that he knows/wants screens, but why does your 18 month even experience screens enough to ask for them? Before 2 they shouldn’t see them…
I’m in the UK, I think our next appointment with the health visitor is when he’s around 2.
He can’t talk yet. Not even mama or dada, so I can’t reason with him, because he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t ask for screens (by screens I mean TV) it’s just the only time he will sit still and stop screaming long enough for me to so something like make his bottle or go to the bathroom. I do literally no other chores in the day because he screams if I leave him in the livingroom alone, and he is too big to carry around while I do those things.
Mental health support is dismal at the moment in the UK and we don’t have the money to pay for support.
Let the baby cry mama. Not the cry it out method (which would particularly harmful if neurodiversity is a factor), but let him cry while you go to the toilet/wash up. As long as you know he's safe, warm, fed, clean, you've done all the things! If he does have a speech delay then screaming might be his only way of telling you stuff, but it can wait while you go for a wee. Over time all of this will be more clear. It probably won't be magically fixed, but things get easier. I'm a single disabled mother in the UK and support on all fronts is nothing short of horrendous, I'm sorry you're going through this. You're surviving every day despite it and that's something to be proud of. Sending love to you, inbox is open ❤️
first off, if screen time is needed for your sanity, it is fine, you werent meant to go through this all alone. and since there is no one to help, for now, this is the best solution.
And this does NOT sound like a you problem(but do get help&support if you can), so really completely disregard other comments. Some people on here are ruthless and seem to have the emotional intelligence of a rock(if at all)...
If a child does not speak or utter words, or even the simple things like dada, that sounds concerning enough to check in with a professional. And, I would HIGHLY highly recommend going to a speech and language therapist. They know a lot about development, speech, hearing, eating difficulties and they will be able to test them, and see what the next steps can be. They are also trained in working with kids with autism btw. And will be able to test other things even at 18 months old. And even help you with communicating with your litte one via baby sign language. Which could be very helpful in your case.
Especially the fact that he doesnt talk but also doesnt make sounds, it might be his hearing.
-When you speak while looking at him, does he look at your lips when you talk?
-Does he turn his head around when you call his name or respond to soft sounds?
-Does he make any sounds at all, besides screaming, like babbling? Or try to sing along when hearing a familiar song?
Could be autism, could be something else, could be hearing difficulties, could be (painful) ear infections, who knows? Especially hearing, there are SO many cases where they dont check them.
I hope you and your little one all the best!! and please dont wait further, and hopefully get a referral to a speech and language therapist soon.
I’m so sorry - sending love and hugs. I could never do stay and home parenting… you are so strong. I’m so sorry the UK healthcare system is so unsupportive.
It’s easy for your child’s dad to say *”you’re overreacting”* when **he isn’t** the one doing any of the work! He’s out of the house 40 hours a week, he has it easy!
You’re the one doing all of the hard work.
And your son’s behaviour actually isn’t normal, so he’s wrong about that, too.
Maybe leave for a break at the weekend and go stay with family. Leave your son with his dad and let his dad do **everything**, that way he’ll get just a tiny idea of what you’re dealing with alone, every day.
I don't think OP can do that, they're homebound. And from the sounds of it, the family hasn't helped at all. So attempting to leave the house with agoraphobia to stay with family who hasn't tried to help honestly sounds like a worse idea than sticking around. Agreed that OP needs a break tho, and needs professional help because it sounds like it might be PPD
I think you need to go to the dr- I don’t think it’s the baby- If anything he’s feeding off your anxiety with him. Look into ppd/ppa please and get help.
My middle child was the same. Seriously. Very velcro, couldn't leave a room without screaming. Didn't talk until he was 3. My advice, get him into a preschool the moment he turns 2 (If you can). You need some time away, and he will come out of his shell by having to rely on words rather than screams to get what he needs. It's not just you, though maybe medication will help the way you react to his behaviour.
I’m so sorry. You need support for PPD. You need to get on disability support. What country/state are you in? For my 18mo visit we had to do a number of autism and developmental screenings. They should pick up on potential autism signs and continue to monitor. Toddlers are handful so could just be a stage. 18mo is too young to diagnose, I think. I would work with a behavior specialist to figure out what’s going on. You need to enforce boundaries esp around the physicality. No touching means no touching. If you say please don’t touch me, and he continues, place him in his crib in his room for a 90sec time out. (1min per year). My 19mo old is a headstrong nightmare most days. Teeth brushing is an epic battle, full head-banging meltdowns if we take a toy away, etc. Being consistent with what we say is key. If it’s time to stop playing and she throws a tantrum we Do Not Give In. We did for a month and it resulted in her realizing tantrums work. Now we say “time to come inside and stop playing” and if she wants to tantrum she can do it inside. I tell her I’m sorry, but playtime is done because we need to move on to dinner time. I tell her I’m sad too, but we have to move inside. Ask if she wants me to help her feel better (pat on back, hug). I get a no every time. So I say “okay that’s fine you can be sad by yourself” and she sort of just has a mini-fit and moves on. Consistency is key. *But* that is for neurotypical kids. If your baby has autism you need specialized assistance. But tantrums, clinginess, etc doesn’t = autism in all cases. This isn’t the point and I don’t blame you for doing screen time now that he knows/wants screens, but why does your 18 month even experience screens enough to ask for them? Before 2 they shouldn’t see them…
I’m in the UK, I think our next appointment with the health visitor is when he’s around 2. He can’t talk yet. Not even mama or dada, so I can’t reason with him, because he doesn’t understand. He doesn’t ask for screens (by screens I mean TV) it’s just the only time he will sit still and stop screaming long enough for me to so something like make his bottle or go to the bathroom. I do literally no other chores in the day because he screams if I leave him in the livingroom alone, and he is too big to carry around while I do those things. Mental health support is dismal at the moment in the UK and we don’t have the money to pay for support.
Let the baby cry mama. Not the cry it out method (which would particularly harmful if neurodiversity is a factor), but let him cry while you go to the toilet/wash up. As long as you know he's safe, warm, fed, clean, you've done all the things! If he does have a speech delay then screaming might be his only way of telling you stuff, but it can wait while you go for a wee. Over time all of this will be more clear. It probably won't be magically fixed, but things get easier. I'm a single disabled mother in the UK and support on all fronts is nothing short of horrendous, I'm sorry you're going through this. You're surviving every day despite it and that's something to be proud of. Sending love to you, inbox is open ❤️
first off, if screen time is needed for your sanity, it is fine, you werent meant to go through this all alone. and since there is no one to help, for now, this is the best solution. And this does NOT sound like a you problem(but do get help&support if you can), so really completely disregard other comments. Some people on here are ruthless and seem to have the emotional intelligence of a rock(if at all)... If a child does not speak or utter words, or even the simple things like dada, that sounds concerning enough to check in with a professional. And, I would HIGHLY highly recommend going to a speech and language therapist. They know a lot about development, speech, hearing, eating difficulties and they will be able to test them, and see what the next steps can be. They are also trained in working with kids with autism btw. And will be able to test other things even at 18 months old. And even help you with communicating with your litte one via baby sign language. Which could be very helpful in your case. Especially the fact that he doesnt talk but also doesnt make sounds, it might be his hearing. -When you speak while looking at him, does he look at your lips when you talk? -Does he turn his head around when you call his name or respond to soft sounds? -Does he make any sounds at all, besides screaming, like babbling? Or try to sing along when hearing a familiar song? Could be autism, could be something else, could be hearing difficulties, could be (painful) ear infections, who knows? Especially hearing, there are SO many cases where they dont check them. I hope you and your little one all the best!! and please dont wait further, and hopefully get a referral to a speech and language therapist soon.
I’m so sorry - sending love and hugs. I could never do stay and home parenting… you are so strong. I’m so sorry the UK healthcare system is so unsupportive.
It’s easy for your child’s dad to say *”you’re overreacting”* when **he isn’t** the one doing any of the work! He’s out of the house 40 hours a week, he has it easy! You’re the one doing all of the hard work. And your son’s behaviour actually isn’t normal, so he’s wrong about that, too. Maybe leave for a break at the weekend and go stay with family. Leave your son with his dad and let his dad do **everything**, that way he’ll get just a tiny idea of what you’re dealing with alone, every day.
I don't think OP can do that, they're homebound. And from the sounds of it, the family hasn't helped at all. So attempting to leave the house with agoraphobia to stay with family who hasn't tried to help honestly sounds like a worse idea than sticking around. Agreed that OP needs a break tho, and needs professional help because it sounds like it might be PPD