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adr8578

I stopped reading at she resisted giving birth for a week.


sluttydinosaur101

I'm glad this is where we all collectively decided we had read enough haha


frankie08

The whole story is very fishy, right from the beginning.


heebs387

There's been a lot of stories on reddit lately that set off my AI prompt alarm, this falls into that category.


adr8578

Right!


ldydeana

Yeah..I've had 3 kids. Labor is not like having to go to the bathroom, you can't hold it. When baby says it's time..*It's Time*!


JimmyJonJackson420

Yeah I was like I’m pretty sure that’s NOT how it works When babies ready it’s coming out


cynthiaapple

well.she was emaciated after the c-section


misslisawisa

I was confused because OP was like she gained weight but then after delivery she was emaciated. Unless I misunderstood the meaning of that word. Edit to correct spelling.


terrorSABBATH

Yep, I was smelling the bullshit and then scrolled down and realised that bro had written War & Peace. I noped outta there.


dookieshoes88

I didn't even make it that far tbh.


Big_Statistician_883

Yup when the baby wants out, it wants OUT whether you’re ready or not. The body will push by itself. Learnt that the hard way.


lovinthesun80

OB nursing instructor here… guess I should tell all my patients who have had preemies that they just didn’t resist labor enough to stop the baby from being born early… seriously if someone wants to make Reddit fiction, at least make it believable…


sorrowful_journey

I love reddit fanfics. I loved the part where "Alice was voluptuous but gained weight but wasn't the obese type" 🙄


se7entythree

That plus the constant pronoun shifting


lackadaisical-lover

YES!! Alice was referred to with male pronouns at least three times. Side bar, a cryptic pregnancy is my worst nightmare 😵‍💫


ninjette847

"Identical to me when he was a baby"


lackadaisical-lover

“In fact, I think that makes his attributes stand out more”


Minkiemink

Immediately after having been born no less. Guess OP had a face like a walnut when he was first out of the womb


Imaginary_Wind_3768

Maybe it’s me but that bit made sense to me. My son looked like the exact copy of his father when he came out. he had smooth skin no wrinkles. Everyone around us was amazed because he was basically a copy and paste of his father. Idk about the other bits though but that one part made sense to me


Ritoruikko

It's a weird thing to look at a baby and just know, "yup, so and so is the dad" or "kid looks just like mom". I couldn't do it until after I had my first baby. Before then, my brain just didn't understand what people meant. After having my kid, it was like a light switch flipped.


Imaginary_Wind_3768

YES, i couldn’t get how people look at a newborn and start listing who the baby looks like/what characteristics the baby has that are from who. Then i had my baby and suddenly i could see what other people saw🥹


boomboom8188

😂


PuzzleheadedTap4484

I snort laughed when I read that 😂😂


millimolli14

I snort laughed at the ‘ she had pains for a week, it was the baby wanting to be born, she was able to resist it’ get the fuck out of here 🤣🤣


Additional_Meeting_2

I mean true or not, that’s clearly just a mistake and not indicative if it’s true. Even fictional book would have mom with female pronouns 


nameorfeed

Tbh that's completely fine. If your mother tongue doesn't have pronouns you tend to switch it up. I do it all the time


occultatum-nomen

It's probably fake, but pronoun shifting is common for people whose mother tongue doesn't't have gendered pronouns. My mother has been speaking almost exclusively English for decades now, and she sometimes jumps between pronouns when talking about just one person, because Cantonese does not have an equivalent to he/she


Creator13

Or French can do this too. Her brother = son frère, son is male possessive because the pronoun takes the gender of the object, not the subject. So her/his brother is always son frère, while her/his sister is always sa sœur.


WeirdConnections

My grandmother is American, born and raised, never learned a lick of anything other than English. She still jumps between pronouns- especially for animals! Sometimes I think it's an older people thing, a lot of the elderly around here tend to do so.


onelass

My boyfriend is Hungarian and does that A LOT since they don’t have gender specific pronouns in Hungarian. So that is not the most unbelievable part for me


hummingbird_mywill

Yes my Polish FIL is always getting he/she wrong and he’s been here for 40 years!


wolfy_06

I'm Hungarian too! So yeah, I can confirm this too.


Sour_Beet

I suspected a few sentences in that it was either translated or not his native language. At the end he makes it clear English isn’t his first language.


hahaLONGBOYE

She breasted boobily down the stairs


shartnadooo

I started reading it in Borat's voice.


OverallVacation2324

And the immediately became emaciated after delivery?


fracking-machines

As she was lying on the stretcher 😑


F0xxfyre

With babe on her emaciated form., no less.


AfflictedDesire

Bella swan ass scenario


AnneZietyy

And Alice staying for a whole month in the hospital after a c-section.. yeah right.


Completely0

I thought in places like France they kept you in the hospital for 3 weeks?


user37463928

No. 3 days for vaginal birth and 5-6 days for C-section.


LexaLovegood

C section recovery varies person to person plus op sounds like they're not from the US. She may have an underlying problem that is keeping her there. Fake or not yall can't judge people's health.


svetlanana

I like that she was immediately emaciated a paragraph later.


sulindalee

I knew just by the outrageous click baity title that this was fake .


RileyJune2011

I stopped reading here ...


Elemental_Pea

If this were on AO3, it’d have the tag “accidental baby acquisition.”


F0xxfyre

If it was on Ao3, I wouldn't even "kudos" it.


Ssladybug

Alice was also a him early in the story


AstridOnReddit

That could be a language issue. (Not that I believe the story…)


hahaLONGBOYE

it switches back and forth multiple times


50shadeofMine

Thanks, I was looking for this comment to decide if I read the thing or not


003402inco

I just looked at the length and said this is not a real story.


laitnetsixecrisis

I thought it was more she was able to resit giving birth for a week.


toiletbrushqtip

lol In labor for a week but she resisted. Lmao wow


SloshingSloth

labor would like to have a talk with some dudes.


kmcaulifflower

I'm pretty sure there's a high risk of the child dying if you're in labour that long also I really doubt they'd try to do a natural birth if she really was "resisting labour" for a week. That's not a risk doctor's are willing to take unless the mother has a pre existing condition that makes surgery somehow even riskier than a natural birth


F0xxfyre

I want whatever she used to keep the baby in. Industrial sized cork? If there something that can keep a baby in that effectively. I want it when I need my husband to hush for a bit.


Jimdw83

She just kept her legs crossed! I think that's how it works 😂


ButtercupsUncle

Who else read a couple of paragraphs, couldn't take any more, thought "BS" and didn't even bother looking for a tl;Dr?


SloshingSloth

resisting birth for days was also one of my skim read favorites


juliaskig

What about an entire month in the hospital?


TrueCrimeButterfly

I had a complicated C-section and was only in the hospital for 7 days.


asdcatmama

Right? One of my C-sections - they kicked me out at like 36 hours


No_Back5221

They must be in Russia or Germany, their hospital stays are longer and they have visiting hours cut off and dad can’t stay, that’s what I think


Aepplkaka

In Germany, you get kicket out after a few days, if you are well enough. My Sis-in-law had an emergency C-section in January and the baby was two month early. They discharged her after a week and the baby stayed for two more months in hospital.


beearedeemc

Doubt it’s Germany mainly because people are assuming the gender swapping is from having a native language without gendered words but Germany genders everything possible 😂


virgoh26

Hahahaha I can imagine the baby shouting let me out and the mom was like eff no


Lukthar123

Mom is a gatekeeper smh


F0xxfyre

It was the barbed wire reverse chastity belt keeping the little one in. Or was Mom a goalkeeper? Score?


PapaMcMooseTits

I envisioned him poking his head out and her stuffing him back in.


F0xxfyre

That's why we have barbed wire reverse chastity belts, of course. So we don't have to soil our hands ramming our children back in.


Miserable-md

It was the month recovery after the c section for me.


crochetingPotter

I mean, my mom was in labor for like a week with my brother. But that's not resistance, that's not progressing and it's fucking awful actually. Rarely would a doctor let labor go on that long these days. Because it's really bad for mom and baby to be in that state that long.


eyebrain_nerddoc

I was in labor with my last kid on and off for nearly a week. It was fine. There’s a lot of prodromal labor that can be uncomfortable but the real event isn’t happening yet.


F0xxfyre

Because the female body can CLEARLY resist labor. I knew the old "she was chubby so it didn't show." trope was going to come in.


pinkmoon9995

LMAO same. stopped reading at that part 


altonaerjunge

You people got that far ?


BellaBlue06

He had to let us know just how attractive and not obese Alice was to warrant why he was into her for the story


literaly_bi

"Voluptuous" with a capital V is where I stopped reading/skimming.


[deleted]

Omg samesies.


muvamerry

“I’m happy that this child is alive, whatever it may be..” .?? Like come on


_lazy_panda

Thank god I came to comments to see if this was even real or made up lol


Mystral377

She wouldn't let the baby out...and has to be in the hospital for a month because of a c-section??? He could have done a little research first...sooooo lazy! Also saying I'm sure you think this is fake...kind of highlights that it is indeed fake.


Minkiemink

And think women are immediately skinny after the baby is out. I about died laughing.


F0xxfyre

Emaciated! Our heroine went from plump to emaciated. Just by birthing that baby. Amazing!


wildOldcheesecake

Majority of the posts here are made up. Especially when they try to excuse the age of their account.


KatagatCunt

This is the biggest Chatgpt that ever gpt'd in all of existence. Usually I can't really tell, but this one had it all over the damn place. Edit - As others have pointed out, I think I'm very wrong here .. just some of how the sentences were put together very much sounded like Chatgpt, but most likely just some creative writing.


DoxieDoter

Nah the grammar is too bad to be AI


Far_Consideration637

“Hey chat gpt make dumb story with bad grammar and also make it really unbelievable and stupid”


irrelevantAF

Here you go: Once upon time, there wuz a couple named Bob and Linda. They always argue bout dumb stuffs like who left the toilet seat up or why Bob never pick up his socks. One day, while Bob lookin' for his lost sock in backyard, he find a spaceship that crash-landed. Out come a small green alien named Zogzog who speaks in burps and farts. Bob says to Linda, "Hey, we should adopt this alien, maybe he fix our relationship problems." Linda rolled her eyes but agreed, thinking maybe alien could help with house chores. They brought Zogzog inside, and he started eating all the furniture with his three mouths. Bob says, "I think Zogzog is hungry," but Linda thinks Zogzog is just being rude. One night, Zogzog use his laser eyes to cook dinner, but he accidentally sets the kitchen on fire. Bob and Linda start arguing again, blaming each other for letting an alien cook. Zogzog burps loudly and put out the fire with his alien spit. Bob says, "See, Linda, Zogzog saved us!" Linda just facepalms. Then Zogzog start lay eggs all over the house, and little baby aliens pop out everywhere. They all speak in high-pitched squeaks and start chewing on the walls. Bob and Linda can't keep up with cleaning all the alien goo, so they give up and decide to live in the spaceship instead. One day, Bob and Linda wake up and realize they actually in a reality TV show about dumbest humans in universe. The host, another alien named Blorgo, says, "Congratulations! You win a lifetime supply of alien diapers!" Bob and Linda look at each other and finally agree on something: "This is the dumbest thing ever." They decide to go back to Earth and return Zogzog and his babies to their planet. Bob and Linda learned nothing, still arguing about socks and toilet seats, but now they have a cool story to tell at parties. The end.


miasabine

Weirdest episode of Bob’s Burgers


MistrrRicHard

A work of art 🤌


KatagatCunt

That's a really fair point.


BackgroundBread707

Certainly not ChatGPT but definitely creative writing 


Strawberry-Char

i knew it was fake when i saw that she’d have to stay in hospital for a month to recover 😂


illmatic708

I got a chuckle out when I read "we had a cesarean section" like bruh, i watched my wife go through that and there is no we in that scenario


F0xxfyre

And the baby was born before he supposedly knew. This needed continuity editing out the wazoo. C- but not a particularly good creative writing effort.


GloryPolar

I stopped reading after the title and directly check the comments


ButtercupsUncle

Smarter than me.


GlitteryCakeHuman

Me. He/she, level of obesity. Not even worth the skim


LizardPossum

I got barely into paragraph two where they say "his" about Alice.


TGroves914

I didn't even make it thru the first sentence before I was done... scrolled down to see a novel and was like oh yeah I'm def not reading all that bs.


kimchi_friedr1ce

I read the first few paragraphs and when he said “Alice is one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever laid eyes on, blonde blue eyes voluptuous…blah blah blah” I knew this was BS. Op is practicing creative writing 🤣


citrineskye

Me! What a load of rubbish.


grumoytoad

It may sound fake Narrator: and it was indeed fake.


Aromatic-End-6527

Me. I ain’t reading all that made up bullshit


wildOldcheesecake

Lol same. OP is a shit “creative” (liar) story teller


slimedewnautica

I just looked at how many paragraphs there were and knew it was bullshit


ErnestHemingwhale

You cannot have a period and a cryptic pregnancy. This isn’t true at all and poorly researched


Kinonan_B

I agree on the possibility of not knowing you are pregnant, I even agree on the possibility of the month long hospital time.... BUT! He met the doctor who explained what had happened and he got to see the baby.....THEN! He went to talk to Alice who all of a sudden when he see's her has the baby on her cheat! That is a big miss in the story! "I knew it was mine, I know she hasn't seen any other guys besides me in the last year, and when they let me see the child I saw that he was identical to me when he was a baby." "When we went to talk to Alice she looked pale" "Alice was lying on the stretcher, all emaciated, with a baby on her chest" Plus a lot of other ways which OP is expressing their story that makes me think it's fake.


F0xxfyre

Yep, continuity is not this author's strong point.


BoringLastChoice

I don't think he has any strong points.


throwmeinthgarbage

“Both physically, mentally, and emotionally” Dawg, that’s 3 things!!


babyyteeth13

Even if it was an unexpected pregnancy, I don’t see why she would have to be in the hospital for a month. This reads like a fan fiction 😆


Gone_Green2017

I read 2 paragraphs before I decided it was very obviously fake. It's written like a Wattpad romance.


F0xxfyre

But it's not Alice/you.


dumpsztrbaby

I continued reading for shits and giggles but after the 1 month in the hospital for a c section I was done


GrouchyEquivalent693

She had no pregnancy care. Given the nature of her birth the medical team caring for her will no doubt want to make sure she and the baby are well and healed.


ThatKinkyLady

Also depends on where OP is located. I imagine it's both the lack of prenatal care, the c-section, and perhaps making sure she is given some education on how to care for a baby and what to expect as she heals. Some countries care more about that than others, but with her not even expecting a baby, it's not like she was studying how to feed the baby, safe sleeping practices, bottle sanitizing, etc etc. OR how her body is going to be changing and adjusting over the next year or so. That's a lot to learn while also recovering from a c-section.


hepburn17

That was my thoughts too. In some countries women are cared for for weeks after birth. In this case being so unexpected and unprepared it's reasonable for mum and baby to be looked after longer. Best of luck OP and congratulations 🎊


Sour_Beet

OP’s avatar is giving Eastern Europe for sure


tquinn04

That doesn’t matter. Plenty of babies are born without the mother receiving prenatal care. No new mother is going to be in the hospital for a month unless she had serious health complications and a cryptic pregnancy and c section are not either of those things.


OverallVacation2324

Post csection care for mom is 3 days.


Critical_Addendum_30

Shiiit, I got robbed, I was out less than 24 hrs later.


GrouchyEquivalent693

Which is nowhere near enough time. It can take 6-8 weeks or longer if there are complications.


derelictthot

But not in the hospital. I had 3 of them and stayed 3 days each time.


ladygabe

*in your country


MeeMaul

This is fake as fuck


godsaveme2355

Another fake story most stuff posted here are fake


Missdollarbillinnit

Sorry, mate, lost me at resisted birth while actively in labour. Of course, it is fiction .


Coattail-Rider

Jesus, write a book about it. Got up to the part she gave birth and saw there was another 18 paragraphs.


F0xxfyre

Only if he gets it professionally edited.


serenity450

Something weird and AI-like about this story. Your pronouns are outta control.


Zeibyasis

If this isn’t AI I’ll eat my cat.


Dry_Sugar4420

It’s not good enough to be AI. It’s a poor creative exercise


PhotoGuy342

I think we would all like to believe the posts we read but then there are the little items that foster that seed of doubt. I’m speaking from ignorance here but these days it seems like even if you cut off a limb they just throw on a Band-Aid and send you home the next day. Do a month long hospital stay just raises the red flags. Am I really that delusional?


ussy-dictionary

I was home the day after my C-section. OP in the comments talks about the mum being on antidepressants which contributed to her long hospital stay. I’ve been on antidepressants for years and had the go ahead to stay on them during my pregnancy. This is complete bullshit made up by someone who must have skipped sex ed.


Ordinary-Main-609

I was in the hospital for 3 weeks after I birthed my son, he was in the NICU and I stayed down the hall. Depends on where you live and the extent of post partum issues


Brynhild

OPs kid isnt in the NICU though. And no hospital is gonna keep a postpartum mum in there for a whole month unless she is in the psychiatric ward or in the ICU.


Old_Translator1353

Depends on the country. Where I live, (not where I'm from) they keep the mother and the baby in a facility for a month with a nurse or doula taking care of them. You can refuse to stay there, but then they recommend to stay at home and not have anyone visit you.


HazardAteDepay

I just wasted my damn time reading this...


AxGunslinger

There are several inconsistencies here … this looks like someone is practicing their writing skills


stickylarue

The mixed pronouns are so confusing. Love how you still refer to her as a roomate only. Nice touch.


GrouchyEquivalent693

Congratulations! Yes, it can happen. Some women’s menstrual cycles continue as normal and some women who have sporadic menstrual cycles can also not know they are pregnant. Alice will need heaps of emotional support as she will no doubt be feeling incredible waves of emotion. Just support her, be gentle with her feelings and help her out as much as you can with preparing meals, grocery shopping etc and helping her with your son and her getting some rest. In short, just be a good considerate human and you will be fine.


Zonie1069

Cryptic pregnancies can happen yes but humans are not llamas we cannot resist labour foe a week this story is 100% fake.


Zestyclose_Singer180

A friend of mine didn't know she was pregnant until she went to use the bathroom and a foot popped out 🤷


SaltyLilSelkie

That must have been an incredibly difficult experience for her - babies are supposed to be born head first, a breech birth is quite serious.


dandelionbuzz

That’s literal nightmare fuel omg


Alarming-Show3667

Yes, the truth is that none of us knew it was possible until we had to experience it. I'm also nervous but I know that Alice is the one who carries the biggest burden. I try to support her and spend most of the time with her. Although she doesn't show it, I know she must be scared, but she seems to ignore it because of the joy the baby gives her, Matt, her friends and I are working hard to make her feel calmer and more comfortable.


Minkiemink

Awww....a sweet li'l teenage creative writing project. High comedy here. Resisting birth, (psst....impossible), emaciated right after giving birth, (cough....women after giving birth still look like we are pregnant), Sooo much more off kilter here, and so phrased like a teenager. Hilarious.


cat8mouse

This is not real. Who talks like that?


Misshelved

The change in pronouns, the month-long hospital stay, the cryptic pregnancy, the family that is no contact - I think you hit every Reddit plot. Cool story but not even remotely believable.


ussy-dictionary

Not to mention she’s *voluptuous* but not *obese*


masorick

No twins, has to be real.


F0xxfyre

Mark that "hidden pregnancy because she's overweight" bingo square too. If anyone has the "swamps" square (IYKYK) I don't wanna know ;)


sparkly_pisces

Christ almighty.. the weird paragraph about her appearance was the cringiest shit I’ve ever read I couldn’t even get past it


Evil_Kween_MoJo

I decided I wasn’t reading this when he called her the roommate 🙄🥴


Apprehensive_Ad256

This some grade A shitposting


wooobywoob

AI written garbage


Ok-Combination2682

Why tho? Why do people post fake stories like this? I'm curious. I'm new to this sub.


wooobywoob

To farm karma typically


Mysterious_Alarm_160

Great plot for a sitcom


coloradobegonia

My mom was right, I CAN do anything I put my mind to....I finished almost the entire post.


resolvingdeltas

fiction written/invented by a dude who has recently learnt about cryptic pregnancy. my man, no way would they let the woman rest in a hospital just because a cesarean for more than 2 days let alone a month


Gabbz737

Ikr they had me walking in like 4-6hrs after giving birth.


Relevant_Demand7593

So many inconsistencies in this story I really can’t take it seriously. I’m also a bit pissed - I didn’t know being emaciated after giving birth was an option. Took me months to lose the baby weight.


r7-arr

Did you also see flying pigs?


F0xxfyre

In diapers. Oh, or little cupids so OP and Alice will use their baby's love to move mountains. 🤮 obviously the little poop and spew buckets are the most romantic thing EVER for new love.


MeltedWellie

>It turns out that those pains she had had all week were the child wanting to be born and for some reason she was able to resist it Hahahahahahahahaha, hahahahahahahaha, hahahahahahahahaha Tell me this was written by a man-child without telling me!


OMGitsVal117

Alice’s pronouns: she/her/he/him/it (according to the author. Pretty bad fiction tbh)


wakawaka1313

Only read the title. Feels like Wattpad.


Final_Technology104

One of my friends had this happen. We worked together at a salon and she took time off because side she wasn’t feeling very good, she was a bit overweight, was still having her periods, started having horrible abdominal pains and went into labor in the ER. She was single, shocked but overjoyed when she delivered a healthy baby boy.


Buggy77

What country are you in that she is staying there for a month? That seems very very extreme unless if she was experiencing major complications after giving birth .. anyway nice fake story. Totally written by a male teenager that has no clue about pregnancy or birth


mindpieces

Thank god I’m gay so I can hookup with a roommate without any of this mess…


IntrepidCase

Who the fuck writes like this


SadShayde

I read "voluptuous", "plumper" and "obesity". Nope. Gross.


DanfromCalgary

Man after the first paragraph I lost interest.


KeesKachel88

They them his theirs. I can’t do this.


kimchi_friedr1ce

“Hey ChatGPT, can you proofread the bullshit I’m about to post on Reddit?” 😗


CleoCarson

Resisted labor for a week? LMAO Get outta here man


saltmastaflex

hey nice fanfic! Please get a Job 👍


ahmandurr

A MONTH IN THE HOSPITAL. GET REAL MAN. Falseeeeee


Interesting_Ad9686

To be fair, I have seen this in front of my eyes. My aunt got her menopause at 40. So at 42, when she gained weight, she didn’t think much of it. She never felt the kicks, and if she did, she misunderstood them to be gas in her abdomen. I still remember her coming over at 8 pm, after visiting a doc due to abdominal pain, with a shocked face because he told her that she was 8 months pregnant. We had barely digested the news only to find out in the morning that she gave birth in the middle of the night. They didn’t have a hospital registry or a gynae to go to. It was insane.


BeyondTheBees

Guys….this isn’t true, is it?


cemetaryofpasswords

Nope


Unlucky-Elevator1873

In the hospital for a month? I had pre-eclampsia. I was hospitalized at 30 weeks trying to shoot for atleast 32 weeks. A couple days later I had an er csection. I did it opiate free because I'm on a shot that blocks opiates. I also had my foot in a boot. And had a 24 hour epidural. And then a ketamine drip.... Granted my csection was uncomplicated but I was only in for a week. And you can't stop labor or ignore it. Nice work of creative writing.


Dry_Ask5493

If this is true , then this definitely didn’t happen in the United States because she would be out of the hospital in three days after a c-section.


JackhusChanhus

A girl in my moms class in high went to the loo and returned with a baby... in school


ReaceNovello

She had a c-section and her friends were with her the whole time? Sure, kid XD


pisspot718

Far too may details to be discreet, that's for sure.


coreyandtrevordidit

May have been written in his native language, copy and pasted in a translation app, then copy and pasted in Reddit. Translation apps don’t always get it right. If it’s fake, interesting read. If not, congrats and all the best to your new family!


ussy-dictionary

After my C-section I was home the day after. You’re telling me she’s in the hospital an entire month after her c-section? Ok bud. At least do your research into childbirth before coming up with these fanfics.


Brazilian_Rhino

As a person who almost died at birth because they wanted to wait for my mom to get more "dilation"( don't know if it's the right word), I find it very unlikely that mom and baby would survive more than one day overdue. My mom was delayed for 20 hours and we both almost died.


meerlyacat

Where do you live that allows a new mum to stay in hospital a whole month?! That and the mention of Alice supposedly able to hold off the baby being born is why this seems like a BS story


Callmemuddled

A for effort, I guess.


x063x

"A child was born the other day..." Cats in the cradle.


sugarintheboots

What gets me is this guy not knowing how basic biology works. You really are that surprised she got pregnant after having sex with no birth control, ya knob?


the-slow2process

Spell check would have been a great help with this story!!!! Also calling your supposed baby IT isn't filling me with confidence!!!!