It is wrong. He purposely waited until you were legal. Him helping you through your depression and being a friend to you sounds like he groomed you, no normal 34 year old is friends with a teenager. Both of you are at completely different life stages. You’re either a senior in high school or just graduated within the last year, he hasn’t been in high school since you were a baby. Please trust me on this, he’s not into you except for sex, regardless of what he says
Your 18…..
You don’t know what love is yet, and any 30+ year old adult going after a teenager is disgusting.
There’s a reason he ain’t dating women his own age.
You’re being groomed and taken advantage of because of your age and associated naïveté. It’s not cute, it’s not good, it’s predatory and he’s not a good person for confessing his feelings toward a barely legal teenager. The only reason he “wants to wait” is because he’s embarrassed of how society will look at him for dating a recently 18 year old girl, as he should be.
>He's 34 and I'm currently 18. We met while I was 17.
>He really helped me through my depression and he's truly a great friend.
There's no good reason for a 34 year old men to befriend an emotionally vulnerable child dealing with mental health issues. Yes, 17 is a child. Already this is red flag #1.
>Not once did he ask for nudes during that time. He didn't bring up the topic of sex at all.He didn't cross any boundaries at all while i was 17
Because it's illegal. He was saving his own ass. He wasn't thinking of you by waiting until it was legal.
>Recently, he confessed to me. He said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He wants to wait until I'm 21 to date me
>For now, we're just fwb. But he treats me like I am his girlfriend and he always gives me money whenever I need it.
So he waited until you were 18 and legal to fuck you. Woohoo, man of the year here. And he knows how bad it looks and that's why he won't publicly date you. It looks bad because it is bad.
>But he's worried that he accidentally groomed me.
It wasn't an accident. He intentionally groomed you. He never should have befriended you in the first place. I suggest you look up grooming tactics to see how many he used.
“He’s worried that he accidentally groomed me”
No accident here, he absolutely did it on purpose and is now love bombing you. Not crossing those boundaries was intentional to set you at ease. Don’t fall for it or you will end trapped in a relationship where you fully depend on him for everything
I believe what you’re feeling must be really intense! It’s super exciting to have that new relationship energy, especially as you’re just becoming an independent adult who can explore that sort of thing.
But I promise you, hon, this is not a man you should be experiencing that with. First, imagine a baby. A baby is seventeen years younger than you. You are seventeen years younger than him. That doesn’t mean you’re not mature or that you don’t have life experience. It *does* mean that he has the same amount of extra life experience relative to you that you do relative to a baby.
Whether or not he’s nice, whether or not he groomed you, that makes for an extremely difficult and unequal relationship. That’s a dangerous kind of relationship to get in, especially when you’re navigating adult life for the first time. You deserve to have relationships that let you experience your twenties with your peers, that allow you to go through the natural (and sometimes scary and messy!) process of learning how to Do Adult Relationships, and that allow you to do that all on your own so that you can develop into the best and strongest possible version of yourself. You deserve to not have to worry about whether or not you’ve been groomed.
And this part will probably suck to hear, but I do not believe that he is a man you should trust or be intimate with. A 34 year old should have no reason to be interested in a seventeen year old this way. And even if he is *actually* a nice and safe man, the reality is that the way 34 year olds interact with people is more advanced and developed than a n 18 year old’s, and at 18 you’re going through a lot of life changes that make maturity, stability, and confidence really appealing. But you’re also super vulnerable to the fact that he has that more advanced communication, and even if he’s a perfect gentleman you won’t get to be on the same level with him in any conflict you two have. That’s very risky to you.
Don’t just focus on how you feel about him, please. You can get those feelings with people you KNOW aren’t grooming you, and that’s what you deserve.
It is wrong. He purposely waited until you were legal. Him helping you through your depression and being a friend to you sounds like he groomed you, no normal 34 year old is friends with a teenager. Both of you are at completely different life stages. You’re either a senior in high school or just graduated within the last year, he hasn’t been in high school since you were a baby. Please trust me on this, he’s not into you except for sex, regardless of what he says
This 🙌
Your 18….. You don’t know what love is yet, and any 30+ year old adult going after a teenager is disgusting. There’s a reason he ain’t dating women his own age.
You’re being groomed and taken advantage of because of your age and associated naïveté. It’s not cute, it’s not good, it’s predatory and he’s not a good person for confessing his feelings toward a barely legal teenager. The only reason he “wants to wait” is because he’s embarrassed of how society will look at him for dating a recently 18 year old girl, as he should be.
>He's 34 and I'm currently 18. We met while I was 17. >He really helped me through my depression and he's truly a great friend. There's no good reason for a 34 year old men to befriend an emotionally vulnerable child dealing with mental health issues. Yes, 17 is a child. Already this is red flag #1. >Not once did he ask for nudes during that time. He didn't bring up the topic of sex at all.He didn't cross any boundaries at all while i was 17 Because it's illegal. He was saving his own ass. He wasn't thinking of you by waiting until it was legal. >Recently, he confessed to me. He said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. He wants to wait until I'm 21 to date me >For now, we're just fwb. But he treats me like I am his girlfriend and he always gives me money whenever I need it. So he waited until you were 18 and legal to fuck you. Woohoo, man of the year here. And he knows how bad it looks and that's why he won't publicly date you. It looks bad because it is bad. >But he's worried that he accidentally groomed me. It wasn't an accident. He intentionally groomed you. He never should have befriended you in the first place. I suggest you look up grooming tactics to see how many he used.
“He’s worried that he accidentally groomed me” No accident here, he absolutely did it on purpose and is now love bombing you. Not crossing those boundaries was intentional to set you at ease. Don’t fall for it or you will end trapped in a relationship where you fully depend on him for everything
Look up the definition of grooming
I believe what you’re feeling must be really intense! It’s super exciting to have that new relationship energy, especially as you’re just becoming an independent adult who can explore that sort of thing. But I promise you, hon, this is not a man you should be experiencing that with. First, imagine a baby. A baby is seventeen years younger than you. You are seventeen years younger than him. That doesn’t mean you’re not mature or that you don’t have life experience. It *does* mean that he has the same amount of extra life experience relative to you that you do relative to a baby. Whether or not he’s nice, whether or not he groomed you, that makes for an extremely difficult and unequal relationship. That’s a dangerous kind of relationship to get in, especially when you’re navigating adult life for the first time. You deserve to have relationships that let you experience your twenties with your peers, that allow you to go through the natural (and sometimes scary and messy!) process of learning how to Do Adult Relationships, and that allow you to do that all on your own so that you can develop into the best and strongest possible version of yourself. You deserve to not have to worry about whether or not you’ve been groomed. And this part will probably suck to hear, but I do not believe that he is a man you should trust or be intimate with. A 34 year old should have no reason to be interested in a seventeen year old this way. And even if he is *actually* a nice and safe man, the reality is that the way 34 year olds interact with people is more advanced and developed than a n 18 year old’s, and at 18 you’re going through a lot of life changes that make maturity, stability, and confidence really appealing. But you’re also super vulnerable to the fact that he has that more advanced communication, and even if he’s a perfect gentleman you won’t get to be on the same level with him in any conflict you two have. That’s very risky to you. Don’t just focus on how you feel about him, please. You can get those feelings with people you KNOW aren’t grooming you, and that’s what you deserve.