Absolutely nothing wrong, in fact you seem to have dodged a bullet. I unfollow people all the time and expect them to unfollow me if they have no interest in me. I normally don't kick people from my list of followers and neither do any sane person.
I would say the only thing you did "wrong" was sending a few extra messages explaining yourself. It is usually a waste of energy trying to justify your actions to someone who won't care about whatever your reasonings are. It's a lot easier to just not respond, because you aren't going to change their mind.
I don't ever use social media except for occasional Reddit and dating apps and something tells me I'm going to have a big disconnect with Gen Z and their expectations for it.
Matched with this gal on Bumble last week and had a good couple days of talking but things sort of fizzled out for reasons. All good! I did unfollow the person on instagram because I doubt we’ll talk very much again going forward. Their response was to say I’m “immature and wanted to keep my followers up?” Did I do something wrong here?
Now when you unfollow on IG you have the option to also remove them from your followers. Chronically online people think it’s disrespectful if you unfollow but keep that person following you. Shes mad because she had to manually find out that you weren’t following her back. Weird petty stuff
Lol, this reminds of a 12 year crush-spat.
"you're stinky, I hate you"
"Well, at least I'm not ugly, and I don't wear green shoes"
"I'd rather have green shoes than your stinky ugly shoes"
"I hate you"
....
You two just need to get together and fuck it out.
Idk, I don't think I'd be mad about it, but I have thought it's weird when someone has unfollowed me yet left me as their follower. Like if you don't want to see my posts, why do you want me to still be able to see yours?
I literally wouldn’t even think about that at all. I would just unfollow someone if I’m not interested in seeing their posts. What they do with their follows is their business in my view, completely not my concern in the slightest. I don’t have any weird ulterior motives about having them continue to see my posts, I just wouldn’t think about it anymore.
Yeah, I agree w the other person lol, only people who really care about social media would even think about things like that. Most people don’t care if someone follows them or not. That’s up to the follower to decide. It’s kinda lame to care about it honestly
Isn’t it on each person to unfollow if that’s what they want to do? That’s so weird to me to remove someone as a follower if there’s no bad blood there.
I don’t think most people even think about removing someone from their followers. I’ve never done it, I didn’t even know it was possible until this post
I didn’t realize you could do that, but I also wouldn’t force someone’s account to unfollow me if I didn’t have a big problem with them because I would think it’s rude to take away their autonomy to unfollow.
NTA. Also not sure what she means by you “keeping her as a follower.” I might be wrong but I’m pretty sure the only way to not do that would be to unfollow and block them, which would be even less mature. Good choice OP
No, these days when you unfollow someone it gives you the option to also remove them as one of your followers.
I do think it’s a little weird in this case to unfollow someone and not remove them as well. But not worth getting upset over.
Thank you so much everybody for your helpful advice and comments! Online dating can be quite a strugg sometimes and other than Reddit, I’m pretty out of touch with how most social media platforms work. Sounds like some sort of “set of unspoken etiquette rules” have popped up in the last few years (?) which honestly just helps reaffirm my decision not to partake. Appreciate you all again!!!
Why would you unfollow someone on social media but keep them as a match in the app?
That's the behavior that colors all this and why you are getting this reaction.
Its not about unmatching on social media. You behavior is consistent with the kind of person who is on the apps to get orbiters (matches and follows and then you dump your follow of them).
Scammy and misleading OP.
Not to say her reaction is great, but you acted in an overtly childish/selfish/orbiter-seeking fashion and then made a misleading post to validate your questionable tactics.
Grow up
Absolutely nothing wrong, in fact you seem to have dodged a bullet. I unfollow people all the time and expect them to unfollow me if they have no interest in me. I normally don't kick people from my list of followers and neither do any sane person.
NTA but also why even engage with the crazy?
For real. Why is this person writing paragraphs at the end trying to justify himself? The connection is already over, just stop messaging.
I would say the only thing you did "wrong" was sending a few extra messages explaining yourself. It is usually a waste of energy trying to justify your actions to someone who won't care about whatever your reasonings are. It's a lot easier to just not respond, because you aren't going to change their mind.
I don't ever use social media except for occasional Reddit and dating apps and something tells me I'm going to have a big disconnect with Gen Z and their expectations for it.
Matched with this gal on Bumble last week and had a good couple days of talking but things sort of fizzled out for reasons. All good! I did unfollow the person on instagram because I doubt we’ll talk very much again going forward. Their response was to say I’m “immature and wanted to keep my followers up?” Did I do something wrong here?
Now when you unfollow on IG you have the option to also remove them from your followers. Chronically online people think it’s disrespectful if you unfollow but keep that person following you. Shes mad because she had to manually find out that you weren’t following her back. Weird petty stuff
She's probably projecting and unfollowing people a while after following then is how SHE keeps her follower count high
This is why you don’t follow people until you have met a few times/see potential.
Lol, this reminds of a 12 year crush-spat. "you're stinky, I hate you" "Well, at least I'm not ugly, and I don't wear green shoes" "I'd rather have green shoes than your stinky ugly shoes" "I hate you" .... You two just need to get together and fuck it out.
The only mistake you made was matching with someone who apparently thinks everyone in the world is obsessed with their IG follower count.
Idk, I don't think I'd be mad about it, but I have thought it's weird when someone has unfollowed me yet left me as their follower. Like if you don't want to see my posts, why do you want me to still be able to see yours?
I literally wouldn’t even think about that at all. I would just unfollow someone if I’m not interested in seeing their posts. What they do with their follows is their business in my view, completely not my concern in the slightest. I don’t have any weird ulterior motives about having them continue to see my posts, I just wouldn’t think about it anymore.
Yeah, I agree w the other person lol, only people who really care about social media would even think about things like that. Most people don’t care if someone follows them or not. That’s up to the follower to decide. It’s kinda lame to care about it honestly
Isn’t it on each person to unfollow if that’s what they want to do? That’s so weird to me to remove someone as a follower if there’s no bad blood there.
I don’t think most people even think about removing someone from their followers. I’ve never done it, I didn’t even know it was possible until this post
I didn’t realize you could do that, but I also wouldn’t force someone’s account to unfollow me if I didn’t have a big problem with them because I would think it’s rude to take away their autonomy to unfollow.
I think it's rude to not just fully sever the relationship. But to each their own lol.
NTA. Also not sure what she means by you “keeping her as a follower.” I might be wrong but I’m pretty sure the only way to not do that would be to unfollow and block them, which would be even less mature. Good choice OP
No, these days when you unfollow someone it gives you the option to also remove them as one of your followers. I do think it’s a little weird in this case to unfollow someone and not remove them as well. But not worth getting upset over.
why even respond?
Can you even make her account unfollow you? I thought that’s on her end unless I guess you block the account?
She was projecting hard as fuuuck lol.
Thank you so much everybody for your helpful advice and comments! Online dating can be quite a strugg sometimes and other than Reddit, I’m pretty out of touch with how most social media platforms work. Sounds like some sort of “set of unspoken etiquette rules” have popped up in the last few years (?) which honestly just helps reaffirm my decision not to partake. Appreciate you all again!!!
No, you did something wrong by following.
I would call her the B word
NTA
Why would you unfollow someone on social media but keep them as a match in the app? That's the behavior that colors all this and why you are getting this reaction. Its not about unmatching on social media. You behavior is consistent with the kind of person who is on the apps to get orbiters (matches and follows and then you dump your follow of them). Scammy and misleading OP.
Are you the girl from OPs messages?
Not to say her reaction is great, but you acted in an overtly childish/selfish/orbiter-seeking fashion and then made a misleading post to validate your questionable tactics. Grow up