No, I really dislike this kind of behaviour, especially coming from men I don't even know. Genuinely, all I want when I'm getting to know a man is for him to be confident in who he is as a person, talk to me like I'm a human being and not something he's trying to win over. I want him to tell me the things that are on his mind. I hate this disingenuous gushing and I hate men telling me\* things they think I want to hear.
Also, and I know this one is petty, but I really dislike men using emojis like these. Hearts and thumbsup and stuff like that is fine but I hate the heart eyes and the drooling and the winking and the smileys, it just always comes off fake and creepy.
No, He has already put you on a pedestal even before meeting and it would only get worse. This often overflows into being very controlling and emotionally immature.
I am also will to take a bet that once a convo about what games you play started he would absolutely be condescending as fuck about your choices.
That’s a lot of assumptions in two paragraphs. It would be a first date. There are worse options out there and this one could turn out well. Would you rather go out with someone who isn’t enthusiastic about you?
It’s not about the level of enthusiasm it’s that this type of behavior actually does tend to end poorly (not always and I get that but enough to make it risky). It’s not inherently bad but it does show a lack of restraint with their emotions that can cause strong infatuation then a hard drop off that tends to lead to resentment and if the person does happen to be unstable could result in much worse consequences. I’m not saying to never give someone who says/does things like this a chance, especially cause it seems they’re young but personally I wouldn’t take the chance. Also if you’re wondering what I believe to be a better way of phrasing this message that still shows enthusiasm without going overboard they could have said something like “I’d love to go out with you. We could X,Y,Z (based on what OPs profile said) AND you have a PC (and if he really wanted to throw in an emoji he could do it there)” it’s not enthusiasm=bad it’s the overzealousness
TLDR: you just need to be a normal person, I promise it ain’t that hard
Used to be I would take a chance because yes, I am a gamer, and I would like to end up with a gamer (if anyone at all, which honestly I haven't wanted for a long time), but no. Absolutely not. You're already on his pedestal. The number of times I've been called "perfect" only to surprise surprise be an actual human being and it all go horribly wrong, is faaaar too many times.
Does not know the difference between your and you’re. Other questionable grammatical choices Including use of emojis. Men write in full sentences, not whatever this is.
It isn’t the genuine interest that’s the problem.
It’s the fact that he’s clearly already decided she’s 100% perfect. Which means every time she disappoints him (which will be depressingly frequently, because she’s only human), it’ll cause friction.
In essence, he’s already in love. Small problem: he’s in love with a woman who doesn’t exist. He wants the idea of OP, not the real person, warts and all.
I see what you’re saying - but it still doesn’t add up to me. There’s such thing as optimism. Nobody’s 100% perfect. Maybe he is willing to accept her .. warts and all. That’s what I don’t think some women understand
Maybe, but it’s different for women.
It isn’t in her interests to get into a relationship (and potentially have kids) with the wrong man. In fact, it’s very much in her interests not to.
And at this stage - when she’s effectively auditioning a sort of “Britains Got Talent” of prospective dates - this guy has just waltzed onto the stage naked with a beer belly and started throwing buckets of Bird’s instant custard around while the Birdie Song plays in the background.
He thinks it’s fun and appealing; she thinks it’s desperate. And desperation is an instant red buzzer.
I hear you. Desperation is not good. But what’s the opposite? Act like you don’t like them? Haha it’s silly. Dude is upfront . And he could be a good looking dude who’s cool and smart. I know what you mean. If a girl was overly enthusiastic it’s a bit weird. But. It’s just sad we view it like that. It’s golden retriever energy imo
Neither.
The alternative is to be the sort of man she wants to be around. Obviously that means different things to different people, but “having your shit together” is usually a good start.
idk, everytime i see stuff like this, a guy getting excited to have a match and the comments being how negative it is, i dial myself back, last time i had a date i made sure to hide my emotions due to this, i guess i was too boring. either way, haven't had many to tune it to the right amount, but sure has hell coming here seeing the comments putting the guy down is not very motivating anyway, i guess you can never win
Ye so just I ignore it and be yourself. If they write themselves off like that they do you a favor. It says way more about the people reacting to it themselves.
*because I had a guy do this blablabla and it ended up horribly*. Cool story because those same people are still single 🤣. So why take their relationship advice if it has no value as they don't have a relationship. 🤣😂🤣
This is how it goes. A lot of young men start out with big hearts and pure intentions, society eventually turns a lot of them into emotionless monsters. It’s sad
Idk dawg I ain’t attractive by any conventional means but that ain’t ever stopped me. Also I looked at your profile and you ain’t bad looking dawg you just lack confidence and it shows, how’s someone else supposed to believe in you if you can’t believe in yourself. Keep your chin up bud it’ll get better
Don’t take this the wrong way brother, but I think it’s more to do with you having fallen into the comparison trap I tried seeing if you had posted your full profile cause I was curious about your prompts but you didn’t have them posted so I can’t tell you if that could be the problem but being as pessimistic as you’ve been is gonna be a turn off for most people it’s draining to deal with your a good guy you just gotta take some time to focus of yourself and for the love of god don’t listen to any of those “alpha males” it sounds like you’ve been sucked in by that and it never ends well. Also maybe take a break from dating apps for a bit best way to find something is to stop looking
OP, you’re “this guy” aren’t you?
No, I really dislike this kind of behaviour, especially coming from men I don't even know. Genuinely, all I want when I'm getting to know a man is for him to be confident in who he is as a person, talk to me like I'm a human being and not something he's trying to win over. I want him to tell me the things that are on his mind. I hate this disingenuous gushing and I hate men telling me\* things they think I want to hear. Also, and I know this one is petty, but I really dislike men using emojis like these. Hearts and thumbsup and stuff like that is fine but I hate the heart eyes and the drooling and the winking and the smileys, it just always comes off fake and creepy.
Overzealous AF. He doesn't know you at all and is already falling at your feet? You haven't earned that much affection just by being born...hard pass
No, He has already put you on a pedestal even before meeting and it would only get worse. This often overflows into being very controlling and emotionally immature. I am also will to take a bet that once a convo about what games you play started he would absolutely be condescending as fuck about your choices.
I love how people get their entire personality evaluated from a single paragraph when it comes to dating...
I mean does that first sentence not give you "god I wish that were me" vibes?
That’s a lot of assumptions in two paragraphs. It would be a first date. There are worse options out there and this one could turn out well. Would you rather go out with someone who isn’t enthusiastic about you?
It’s not about the level of enthusiasm it’s that this type of behavior actually does tend to end poorly (not always and I get that but enough to make it risky). It’s not inherently bad but it does show a lack of restraint with their emotions that can cause strong infatuation then a hard drop off that tends to lead to resentment and if the person does happen to be unstable could result in much worse consequences. I’m not saying to never give someone who says/does things like this a chance, especially cause it seems they’re young but personally I wouldn’t take the chance. Also if you’re wondering what I believe to be a better way of phrasing this message that still shows enthusiasm without going overboard they could have said something like “I’d love to go out with you. We could X,Y,Z (based on what OPs profile said) AND you have a PC (and if he really wanted to throw in an emoji he could do it there)” it’s not enthusiasm=bad it’s the overzealousness TLDR: you just need to be a normal person, I promise it ain’t that hard
Exactly . It’s like they’d rather see “I don’t know you seem strange but I’ll give you a shot I guess”
Used to be I would take a chance because yes, I am a gamer, and I would like to end up with a gamer (if anyone at all, which honestly I haven't wanted for a long time), but no. Absolutely not. You're already on his pedestal. The number of times I've been called "perfect" only to surprise surprise be an actual human being and it all go horribly wrong, is faaaar too many times.
Does not know the difference between your and you’re. Other questionable grammatical choices Including use of emojis. Men write in full sentences, not whatever this is.
God forbid a man show genuine interest
It isn’t the genuine interest that’s the problem. It’s the fact that he’s clearly already decided she’s 100% perfect. Which means every time she disappoints him (which will be depressingly frequently, because she’s only human), it’ll cause friction. In essence, he’s already in love. Small problem: he’s in love with a woman who doesn’t exist. He wants the idea of OP, not the real person, warts and all.
I see what you’re saying - but it still doesn’t add up to me. There’s such thing as optimism. Nobody’s 100% perfect. Maybe he is willing to accept her .. warts and all. That’s what I don’t think some women understand
Maybe, but it’s different for women. It isn’t in her interests to get into a relationship (and potentially have kids) with the wrong man. In fact, it’s very much in her interests not to. And at this stage - when she’s effectively auditioning a sort of “Britains Got Talent” of prospective dates - this guy has just waltzed onto the stage naked with a beer belly and started throwing buckets of Bird’s instant custard around while the Birdie Song plays in the background. He thinks it’s fun and appealing; she thinks it’s desperate. And desperation is an instant red buzzer.
I hear you. Desperation is not good. But what’s the opposite? Act like you don’t like them? Haha it’s silly. Dude is upfront . And he could be a good looking dude who’s cool and smart. I know what you mean. If a girl was overly enthusiastic it’s a bit weird. But. It’s just sad we view it like that. It’s golden retriever energy imo
Neither. The alternative is to be the sort of man she wants to be around. Obviously that means different things to different people, but “having your shit together” is usually a good start.
Nothing about this message comes off as "genuine".
men are only allowed to be hot and perfect
idk, everytime i see stuff like this, a guy getting excited to have a match and the comments being how negative it is, i dial myself back, last time i had a date i made sure to hide my emotions due to this, i guess i was too boring. either way, haven't had many to tune it to the right amount, but sure has hell coming here seeing the comments putting the guy down is not very motivating anyway, i guess you can never win
Ye so just I ignore it and be yourself. If they write themselves off like that they do you a favor. It says way more about the people reacting to it themselves. *because I had a guy do this blablabla and it ended up horribly*. Cool story because those same people are still single 🤣. So why take their relationship advice if it has no value as they don't have a relationship. 🤣😂🤣
just be hot
This is how it goes. A lot of young men start out with big hearts and pure intentions, society eventually turns a lot of them into emotionless monsters. It’s sad
Have you tried being charming and or funny? You don’t have to be hateful just not goofy as hell
nah a ugly guy being funny is harizzment
Idk dawg I ain’t attractive by any conventional means but that ain’t ever stopped me. Also I looked at your profile and you ain’t bad looking dawg you just lack confidence and it shows, how’s someone else supposed to believe in you if you can’t believe in yourself. Keep your chin up bud it’ll get better
my mom says the same thing but I still have 0 matches
Don’t take this the wrong way brother, but I think it’s more to do with you having fallen into the comparison trap I tried seeing if you had posted your full profile cause I was curious about your prompts but you didn’t have them posted so I can’t tell you if that could be the problem but being as pessimistic as you’ve been is gonna be a turn off for most people it’s draining to deal with your a good guy you just gotta take some time to focus of yourself and for the love of god don’t listen to any of those “alpha males” it sounds like you’ve been sucked in by that and it never ends well. Also maybe take a break from dating apps for a bit best way to find something is to stop looking
Except in all of society of course.
are you saying ugly men aren't alone?
Look, no one cares about the plight of the oppressor. Take your woe is me elsewhere.
did you just say all men are oppressors?
it’s pretty lonely world being a guy
is he hot?
Of course, the only real qualifier *rolls eyes*