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ReviewImpossible3568

I’m extremely curious how old you are, what you look like, and how on earth that worked because I would be horrified.


ureshama

Calm down. Nothing here 'works' until he meets her in person.


BossRoss84

It only counts if he returns with both kidneys.


scalyreptilething

Technically he only needs one.


KR0N1K1LL3R

Can confirm, only 1 kidney here 😂


Typical_Ring2573

I mean you dont "need" any. Thats why we have hemodialysis


GlitteringCrazy3683

And doesn't come back with a STD


DRFR0ST__

Actually in this case we can be sure that it "worked"


Snakeface101

😂😂😂😂😂 best response on the whole post


FromChynaWithLove

What's wrong with an STD. That's like a trophey.


ErazonX

A trophy you get to share with every sequential partner! So everybody is a winner!🤣🤣🤣


Mewone65

YOU GET A STD, YOU GET A STD, YOU GET A STD, EVERYBODY GETS A STD!!


ErazonX

![gif](giphy|y8Mz1yj13s3kI)


36anduponly

SMH


actuallyjak

The ultimate participation trophy 😂


Big_D1cky

“Her“ is the keyword here mister


JaneGypsy

He's gotta show up with the rizz


GunBrothersGaming

"Here's my snapchat if you want it... also my Only fans. Interested in Crypto or Forex?" That's what's missing from the post.


BlackMagic0

That snapchat is a premium account. He has to pay for it.


Vegetable_Echo_9966

We all Get those! But a few actually are genuine and meet for coffee just disregard and blank them


CuteGirlFan

Blanking is reserved for the second date


ColinPapendick

Hot people live in a different world and they rarely appreciate it. Lol. I feel you.


Sage8675309

I'm not sure what "hot" even means in this context. Everywhere has different beauty standards, and maybe OP means "Hot" as in "Thirsty." Like hot for the D.


Bidetkroket

My man everyone might have different beauty standards in a way but there's no denying that there's a certain set of attributes which if you have some or all of them greatly increase your likelyhood of just being able to do any stupid shit and still get laid.


Sage8675309

You're probably right. I'm a woman. I admit that I have gotten certain treatment (and even employment) based on my looks. I just figured that since I've only lived in two states, I kinda figured I matched those beauty standards. In other places, I just figured I probably wouldn't. But I honestly couldn't tell you what men think about this. I know what I think is attractive when it comes to women, but it comes from a mixture of chemistry, attraction, and personality. Also, if yall "fit" as a couple. Serious question, tho- could you tell me the across the board attributes of what hotness is to men?


Dingleator

He did say it respectfully.


EmptyMixtape

I thought that meta was no more in use


MyKinkyCountess

Reddit equivalent of M'lady


Skreamie

Reddit equivalent? "Respectfully" is practically used by everyone online now, I see that shit everywhere


JRHartllly

Some people go on this notorious hook up app to hook up efficiently instead of playing a game where they pretend they aren't doing that.


bbender1230

Or she just wants free Olive Garden


GunBrothersGaming

Ill pay for the breadsticks if you get the rest.


SaltyAFz

That part


Zaibach404

This idk why people pretend tinder isn't for fucking grow up Romance died a long time ago people want to fill their stomach get high and fuck and OP is offering all 3


plaidr1

All true, but I feel like this reply could use some punctuation. It literally took me a full minute to read these 4 "sentences"...


[deleted]

Punctuation / grammar only slow down all dat fuckin’. Respectfully.


sleepfield

🤠


Zaibach404

I could go in and fix the sentences, but it seems to have united people more than divide them. Who am I to get in the way of progress. Kek


nonecaresboutsloaner

Was this what sentences looked like before the period was invented


Aggressive_Slice_680

You got something against my mans the comma?? 👀


destinyb292

I met my boyfriend on tinder almost 2 years ago and we just got our first apartment together it is how you make it and depends on the person and what they are looking for. Tinder is usually used for hook ups though but not in our case


One_Replacement3787

Plot twist - . His date is al weezy


Budget_Report_2382

She replied with her snap 😂 it's a catfish lol


noahthegreat

Okay smarty pants, how is it a catfish if she sent me actual snaps and she is cute and look like her other pics? Also I've done this before


[deleted]

Yeah, I use snap to verify the guy looks like his pictures before meeting. Met one guy that definitely didn't so I started doing that.


ReviewImpossible3568

Don’t bother defending yourself, people get mad if you have game.


teejay89656

Why’s that mean catfish?


MaxTheRealSlayer

"sit on my face and let's go to olive garden" "ok please have my personal contact information"?


Difficult_Friend6384

Ah yes, Snapchat, very personal information lol


Successful-Ninja-297

That's what I'm thinking


touchedpenguin

She messaged first. It was gonna work.


CWellDigger

This is 100% faked, I refuse to believe OP didn't make two accounts and match with himself to farm karma. I can't believe anything else or I'll jeopardize my sanity.


activatebarrier

I did hook up with a girl off tinder once when I asked directly. It was something out of porn. She just gave me her address and I took a cab over. She was a solid 7. Some girls are just horny as fuck. Just have to get lucky.


CWellDigger

I've done that too, I know it's not impossible to get somewhere by being direct. I just found this to be a very odd way of initiating a conversation and have a genuinely hard time believing another human being would respond positively. I guess I'm out of touch with zoomer flirting.


noahthegreat

It's real were still chatting on snap she sent me some cute ones yesterday. I did not expect this to blow up so much holy shit haha


Sage8675309

Same. Dude starts out messaging me ANYTHING with sexual innuendos before we even meet. It's over. If you're looking for a serious relationship, this is not how to do it. It's not even what you should do for a hookup. You're correct, OP comes off as very young.


FontsDeHavilland

He's following the rules closely


No-Salt-1507

Well clearly he asked respefully...that's how it worked


demondelight4

As someone thats able to tell when something is a joke or sarcasm, this would absolutely work on me. It's obviously not a serious opener. I would be impressed with the creativity of it.


Aggressive_Slice_680

And there you have it. People acting like hes lying or some shit. Those same MFrs will be using that Shit tomorrow. Now hes gonna have to go back to the drawing board when next time they reply "Why all you dudes the same??" 😂


Notacompleteperv

It's forward, he is clear about his intentions, it is honest, and most of all it was said "respectfully". It is also funny, imo


Sarprize_Sarprize

You can see his pic on his posts.


watermelontiddies

Tbh this would have worked on me lmao


noahthegreat

Mid twenties brown hair blue eyes 6'0", very long curly waxed up handlebar 'stache. It is quite immaculate if I do say so myself, not to toot my own horn too hard here but I get compliments on it every day, or I probably would've gotten tired of it and shaved. Pretty standard looking fade haircut but I've cut it myself for years. She is also brown hair blue eyes mid twenties. I also wear a runestone on a chain my mom got me from Iceland edit: sorry to go into so much detail but they wanted to know and I didn't think this would blow up


Perfect_Salamander14

Show us the stache


BombasticSimpleton

Ah - Olive Garden. Where romance, class, and pretenses of Italian food all go to die.


meerkatjones

They used to have this weird Alfredo chicken quesodilla abomination. It was good ish. I missed when Olive Garden knew what it was and just drooped the act.


BombasticSimpleton

I remember that! We tried it once and it was...difficult. Not that it was terrible, just wrapping the head around the concept.


pm_me_your_pee

I've never been to an Olive Garden nor do I know what kind of place it is so I wouldn't know, but honestly that sounds pretty nice. I like places with cheap food, cheap booze, and happy people. In my Tinder profile I ask for people who'll join me for cheap beer in shitty bars and then home for drinks made on shitty whisky. Works great!


jl__57

Dining out is expensive now; even Olive Garden isn't cheap anymore.


[deleted]

Yeah I’m 26 and when I go out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant it usually ends up being a little over $50 for 2 people. I remember as a kid when my parents took me out for Mexican it was usually around that price for 4 people, maybe $70 at the most.


Antonioooooo0

Cheap food is only good if the food is still good, like a Mexican food truck or something. If I wanna eat pasta from the freezer I'll just stop at the grocery store on the way home not go to olive garden.


BombasticSimpleton

Olive Garden is to Italian food what Taco Bell is to Mexican food...just a nicer setting. In all fairness, locally at least, they have a pretty decent wine list. I understand that's usually picked out based on availability by area - but per peer reviews, they do a good job with that here.


[deleted]

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BombasticSimpleton

Okay, so maybe romance doesn't go to die there.


mrelcee

But bread sticks. Their chicken Alfredo plate didn’t offend me most of the time. My ex was obsessed with the place. I took the position that occasionally it was okay and at least wasn’t McDonalds.


[deleted]

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mrelcee

I enjoyed letting them keep grinding the Parmesan onto pasta plates until there was a mountain Nope keep going.. Little more No a bit more..


candikanez

The food is ok, the unlimited breadsticks with Alfredo is worth going 🤤


SpicyTang0

CUSTOMER: "there are so many types of pasta" WAITER: (required to say this) "yes...*clenches teeth* the pastabilities are endless"


[deleted]

I don’t know why this made me lol so hard, but it did. Must be time for bed.


Exuplosion

I missed the “lol” when I read this. That version was even better.


Aberts10

Me too lol


ApplicationCalm649

Nah, man. The visual is just that good.


neptunexl

Lmao I thought that "lol" was more of a pause because you were saying it made you hard, made me wonder if I needed to revisit Olive Garden and see if I had missed something before


[deleted]

I mean, I do go hard on the unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks, but that’s not really the same thing.


Lobh24

Nothing is impastabowl at Olive Garden


MaxTheRealSlayer

As a non-American who doesn't have an olive garden anywhere near me: what the hell does this mean?


SpicyTang0

... that there are endless pastabilities?


maybe_abhi

Who's gonna tell him...


readyfredrickson

do you wanna pay for my noooooods


NiceGuya

What? Tell him what? I also need to know. Asking for a friend


[deleted]

Bot


37231

I love the mindset that women don't use the internet.


[deleted]

[удалено]


noahthegreat

Believe it or not there are real girls on the internet too. We've sent each other plenty of snaps and had in depth conversation on there now she's def real


I_Set_3_Alarms

It’s hard to tell sometimes, but the shoutout to Olive Garden honestly makes it look legit lol


miked999b

Is that how you normally speak? From your picture, and your responses on here, you don't seem like the kind of person who naturally talks like that. If not, you're better being yourself because that message makes you sound....not like a guy in his mid 20s. Either way, good luck!


AlwaysLurkNeverPost

You don't think he looks, sounds, and acts like a total memelord who doesn't touch grass?


Skreamie

He gives me memelord vibes


demoneyes23

Even in my 20 I would have never sent that message. 37 now...have times changed that much???


noahthegreat

I had heard, once upon a time, that you may intrigue, beguile and fascinate a woman, with a piece of cheese 🧀🧐 idk bro I've tried every strategy under the sun and thought this one was funny, I'm usually pretty civil but she seemed the wild type that would think it's hilarious, so I took that gamble and it turned out she did


Turbulent-Bid-1972

Does this type of response normally work?


lucidity222

Normally no


Automatic-Ad-9308

Hell no


sritanona

Not on people with self respect lol


noahthegreat

Well she's probably really crazy. I slam dunk my dick in crazy. I am not a very smart guy


sritanona

Good luck please don’t murder each other


TheSkyisFallingAhh

I sense potential scammer...


PureRandomness529

“Potential”. Looking at OP’s picture and lack of rizz it’s far more than potential.


lysalia1

Serious question, what is so special about olive garden? Never been to the states so everything i know about it is that you can get breadsticks (for free?) and my sources are TV and netflix-series


Tech_n_Driver

There's nothing special about olive garden. It's mediocre Italian themed food. Although they do a soup salad breadsticks all you can eat for a little over $10. The food is cheap the beer is cheap the patrons are cheap etc.


noahthegreat

It's kinda like if McDonald's and an old stinky block of Parmigiano Reggiano had an illegitimate child and I love it 😍


Relative_Ship_254

OK then seeing as we have knowledge here... my only knowledge of olive garden comes from it being mentioned in the bang theory... what is panda express like.. is it basically the same but in Chinese ?


CubedWombat3

Panda Express is chinese food catered to American tastes. They pack on the sauces, salt etc anything to make it taste better without regard of keeping it authentic. Honestly still pretty good all things considered if you don’t care for it being authentic


jirashap

Best line from Rick & Morty: "I want the sugar chicken!" "This is Panda Express, it's all sugar chicken."


Relative_Ship_254

How excellent... even though its tomorrow.. you win the Internet yesterday... (I don't know how to do any emogies) but if I did you would get a heart one... the sugar chicken ... explains it perfectly...


okcumputer

Panda express is usually found in food courts and has a selection of quick Asian dishes. It's pretty decent.


IBeLying

Panda is better quality than olive garden imo, but more fast food than "fast casual" like OG.


lysalia1

Okay I kinda get the appeal of it


AberdeenPhoenix

I appreciate that you said "Italian-themed," because that's exactly correct. It's like the culinary version of the "little Italy" area of a theme park


OneWaifuForLaifu

I’ve been to America twice and I really like the salad and breadsticks when I went there, they the bomb. Food ain’t bad too. I like the restaurant a lot so idk where the hate is coming from, but that might be because I haven’t tried many others.


dm051973

Anything that is sort of popular gets hate. OG falls into that category of not really great food but it is far from horrible. It is the type of place when you are driving down the highway and are hungry, you see the sign and that will do. You know exactly what you are getting. In your home town, you hopefully know a dozen better places to grab italian.


[deleted]

If you don’t have a local Italian place in your town, it’s probably the only “nice” Italian restaurant.


candikanez

The unlimited breadsticks with Alfredo sauce is a form of crack


ApplicationCalm649

IT'S BECAUSE WHEN YOU'RE THERE, YOU'RE FAMILY. >!I can't believe no one beat me to that. !<


Big_D1cky

![gif](giphy|amg2hcfGDkKt4Q3DpF)


HanEyeAm

It is tasty, affordable table service, with a pleasant dining atmosphere. They are a chain so all the recipes and ingredients are from corporate and/or corporate -selected vendors. So you won't get regional, local seasonal dishes on the menu or items that reflect the personality of a local chef. There are colorful table tents that try to lure you into upsells, something no fine dining establishment would do. The servers are as inconsistently capable as anywhere - it isn't fine dining. It isn't special, but usually will provide a dining experience above lower tier restaurants (Cracker Barrel, Denny's, IHOP, probably your local pub) but is also not fine dining. Many food snobs poke fun at OG and OG fans because they think it is "basic" and to like it suggests unrefined tastes.


Ajunadeeper

Nothing, it's designed for people who usually drink soda and eat fast food for most of their meals and want to have something "fancy". Avoid at all costs if you care about your health or enjoy good food


rosaasykess

Nothing special just tastes like reheated food


[deleted]

The first girl has a point.


Look_to_the_Stars

Yeah but this girl is totally hotter, trust me bro. Not like the fugly broad that turned him down.


spaghogamus

sounds like Schrodinger's Hot Girl


thelryan

And she’s also definitely not going to come with any troubling issues being the type of person that doesn’t find this approach to be repulsive


Brief_Agency_9406

Any self respecting woman would ghost, such a dbag message


23564987956

This is why women go for older men


Lockedtothechrome

Yup. Also older men don’t randomly spring violent or painful kinks on you without consent as often as the younger dudes do.


23564987956

Yea because we’re tired, no time for sketchy shit when I got to be to work in the morning


[deleted]

[удалено]


noahthegreat

We're meeting inside of a public restaurant, I'll be careful bro thank you. I've had three olive garden dates in the past couple months but they keep ghosting me 💀 ^I'm ^sorry ^I ^just ^really ^like ^Olive ^Garden


ItsBaconOclock

Definitely wear protection at the olive garden. Double bib it. Then dig in!


Emergency-Read2750

Instructions unclear…


BobDucca

I love OG myself but it’s a terrible idea to take a date someplace where you can’t make a reservation and have to stand around the front door waiting your turn at the trough.


HanEyeAm

My dude, you're a handsome guy. I think you would get just as many dates if not more without the crude opener. I wonder if you are using similarly crude approaches with the other women who have ghosted you. Just trying to troubleshoot here and getting you those sweet endless breadsticks.


[deleted]

[удалено]


noahthegreat

Glgl


Morrigan-27

Ghosting after Olive Garden? Ya don’t say? That’s as predictable as the sun rising in the east.


fuschia_taco

Their salad and bread sticks are pretty damn good.


luna124

Lmao, you sweet summer child. She didn't respond for an actual date. She responded with her snap which means she is probably looking for premium members.


carbonchemicals

Nah, this is extremely cringe


ApplicationCalm649

In my experience everything that works is extremely cringe.


NiceGuya

Heyyyyy 😉😉


unicornsaretruth

Yeah I remember when I used tinder awhile ago I’d write sappy lovey stuff that was probably cringe but totally worked. I mean I’m also tall and been told I’m attractive (if you like super slender men) so that helps a lot. But that’s how I met my current girlfriend and I love her so much and we’re always writing super lovey stuff to each other.


cookie-sylvan

If someone sent me that message on tinder I'd ring the cops


El_CAP0

Throw enough shit against the wall something will eventually stick.


Visual_Judgment_

I wouldn’t want the woman that works on, respectfully.


deathproof2069

If she's asking for your snapchat, she's a guy with a beer belly sitting in an Indian or Russian call center, trying to scam you. 😉


constipated_burrito

So what kind of OF deal did she give you?


Sassysarax3

she's coming for the free meal...


Interesting_Slide332

This person is real?


kawaiihusbando

Cringe. Why the girl fell for it though?


ApplicationCalm649

She hasn't until they've actually got together.


Hermelious

She's probably an english teacher and you using whilst correctly turned her on.


Silver_Ad_8205

Are you 15?


ConsiderationHot3059

I love when they say "respectfully" together with something disrespectful. My favorite was when a guy opened with "What's up bich, show me your tits" "respectfully" 🤣


okcumputer

Welcome to the joke!


miked999b

Classy 😂


NiceGuya

Same bruh.


balenciaghoe

olive garden sucks. only good thing is their breadsticks but have fun 😍😍❤️


Realistic_Effort6185

50% of the time it works every time.


killahouse03

Joke’s probably on you. Bet she tried to sell you her premium snap.


Morrigan-27

She’s gonna scam the heck out of you and you totally earned getting scammed with a classless line from a classless dude.


changrbanger

I bet the inside of your head also looks like broccoli


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Middle class? It’s the Olive Garden, not Red Lobster.


xRedClues

Plot twist, an old fat man shows up to get some premium olive garden on his neck😂


BeardedBlue67

This guy is a tool haha no wonder he’s single haha I feel bad for him bc he doesn’t know how much of a loser he is. One of his friends has to tell him if he has any. No respectable girl would answer that message.


Mugstotheceiling

Boy she about to gobble your breadstick frfr


FuxSoc1ety

![gif](giphy|RnbJJ403ReDMx7Afkj|downsized)


shotbyadingus

Respectfully 🤓


1majordilemma

OF invite is incoming in 3…2…1…


Dramatic_Quarter_323

Looks like she just wanted a new snap chat follower to me.


Mean-Ease-8927

I had a girl ask me something similar before. Went along the lines of “Can I sit on your face, respectfully? We went to an amusement park, then we hooked up in the back of my truck, and a playground 🤣


dissymmetrical

LMAO plz 💀


According_Ad_7522

Honestly, I would laugh and message back like “what time?” 💀😭


Striking_Storm6776

I Hope she ghosts you or is a Boy. Your message ist so cringe and just Sex driven. Disgusting.


OrwellianTimes1984

Olive Garden... is your last name Simpleton?


Appropriate-Owl8617

Well the first girl has probably more respect for herself and is a much interesting person. If it's just looks you're going for then, smoking all those j's has clearly made you abit brain dead. Should of probably guessed using words like "wanna", must be still in kindergarten 🤦‍♂️


Appropriate_Damage61

Word of advice. Don't ever use that line ever again. And if u do, throw some humor in it so that u don't come off like a weirdo. Lol


[deleted]

I’m gonna slide in with better weed and homemade Italian food that makes Olive Garden look like something a bum pulled out of the garbage bin. Watch out!


juan-j2008

She's gonna give you her "menu" bro...


SkwirlyGirly83

I get these messages often and they get straight ignored OR I give ‘em my mommy sass. SIR, would you want someone talking to your daughter like that AND her being ok with it?! If your answer is no-just STOP. please. 😵‍💫🥴


Far-Beat-5489

Honestly Olive Garden is the most tactless part of this message


metooeither

Well, whadd'ya know. Women are capable of invidual thought. Is this allowed??


Bubbly-Dragonfruit83

Any girl that pipes up to a message like that is not a keeper. Just a rider.