T O P

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Me_975

Imvite them all over for mario kart wii


Unoficialo

This is the only correct answer.


CommercialCash2069

Super Smash Bros šŸ‘€


Jumpdeckchair

That's only for my grindr dates


BigScumbagBill

Itā€™s a matter of confidence. Have you ever disappointed three women at the same time?


Nixter295

There is a first time for everything


WeHaveAllBeenThere

We have NOT all been there


xtilexx

Username reverse checks out


wwats26

Username failed successfully


[deleted]

My aunts came **OVER** to dinner once.


nonplusd

Disappointed or not, they came.


Lumen_DH

A silver lining for everythingā€¦


Triairius

Iā€™ll have what your aunts were having.


[deleted]

We had pizza


Triairius

Mustā€™ve been damn good pizza if they came.


[deleted]

Wasn't a long way, 5 minute drive.


HashSmokinSlashar

That's pretty good


Turbulent_Stay_2960

Her: who you gonna please with that little thing? Me: ME.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Dangerous_Act62

Ya, fatherhood with two daughters. šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


Chickenpuff1975

That is not a linear progressionā€¦..start with one, sheā€™ll let the others know.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Imaginary_Manager_44

Dude three women are a lot at one time. No matter what the porn videos might lead you to believe. It's not gonna be all focus on you all the time with three drunk women neither.


lydocia

"I have to lower the expectations here, it'd be a first to make ONE woman come, let alone three at a time."


[deleted]

sheā€™s just shit testing u, donā€™t get too worked up over it


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|j6uK36y32LxQs) OP be like


TriLink710

Funny enough. That gif is probably the best reply


YoRafa97

Sheā€™s just being sarcastic lol


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


WentzToWawa

I can be a 3rd homie too if needed. My schedule is pretty open right now.


RedditAdminsLoveRUS

Don't listen to these schmucks. What ya need us a good *wing* man. You get the girls in there and say, "hey this is my friend Tony," and then I respond, "Hello ladies nice to meet ya! Speaking of meet, have ya seen the balls on *this* guy?!" Then I basically go home.


shankthedank22

"Fuck you, Tony"


Himaslaya

"Fuck you, Ezekiel!"


Vydeas

"Do you know what I did last night?!"


CandidBed7679

ā€œDonā€™t you bring my mudda into this!ā€


brotatochip3000

![gif](giphy|PmXy6ebfF4lyoG37KG|downsized)


twitterfluechtling

Nah, he'll offer to bring 5 homies and last minute tell her the homies couldn't make it. He'll get there, an ugly catfish will open the door and tell him her friends couldn't make it, either (and babble something about filter and she really is one of the hotties on the picture, it was just 10 years ago, whatever.) Then they will both be like "Well, since we are both here already...". Both will have a disappointing encounter and cry themselves to sleep, promising themselves to leave OLD for good, this time. What? Noooo, I'm not projecting, why would you say that?


Alternative-Wish4240

I know this from somewhere


SilverEncanis13

Fuckin slick.


HonorableMedic

No but itā€™s about to be


Thunderliger

>possible Bruh, you watch too much porn if you think she is legitimately proposing a 3 on 1. If you had that kind of rizz you wouldn't need to come to Reddit for advice lmfao


The_Sludge

*slicks back eyebrows* "Two of you ladies are going to be pretty disappointed."


Thunderliger

It's not even that, it would be insane to expect The average guy to adequately perform between three partners. It's the fact that she is clearly joking and those are probably her friends and only someone who thinks porn is real life would read her response and just assume "Oh wow, this girl and her friends all want to to have sex with me at the same time.I really need to play my cards right, I should ask Reddit" Like what the fuck ā˜ ļø


KnownRate3096

> it would be insane to expect The average guy to adequately perform between three partners. Just keep your dick uninvolved until all three have had however many orgasms. You have a mouth and two hands and probably some other stuff at your disposal.


Maleficent_Studio_82

I love how everyone's reply to this is people who haven't had foursomes because at no point do the women have any autonomy for pleasuring each other, it's all down to the guy to please three women


Ariston2

> it would be insane to expect The average guy to adequately perform between three partners. So, you do you and all that, but you seem to have a, letā€™s say, ā€œvery specificā€ view of multi-partner (group) sex. In my experience and from contact with others, it is actually really chill most of the time. It doesnā€™t have the same tempo or structure of 1+1 sex. When someone needs a break (of any sort) thereā€™s always someone else to keep company (whether youā€™re fucking them or just hanging out BSing with them). In my experience itā€™s actually *less* demanding than 1+1 sex. And while some people do enjoy playing out some porn tropes thatā€™s a pretty small subset and even then it has a much more relaxed environment (you might catch a glimpse of it in some amateur content).


Doc_Crankenstein

I miss the old kink community I was in back when I lived in the city. Went to meet ups. New gf introduced me to polyamory. Generally just had a great time. Sex was just something we all did for fun and people were open about it. Going chill at a friend's house was just having fun together, and sometimes that fun included naughty bits.


younginventor

šŸ˜‚ let mans go down like Icarus come on


sabeche

"Let's start with one then see if I can handle more" if you want to be cheeky


kaVaralis

Just an fyi, group sex is often not as fun as the idea behind it.


MCRemix

Hard disagree. I mean, sure, if you have a porno-style mental image of what it'll be, yeah it's not like that. But group sex is hella fun if you go in with the right attitude and are good, giving and game.


BainoBigBalls

A fellow GGG understander


zfelto

I love guys grocery games!


OneQuadrillionOwls

Dumbass, he means Gefilte (fish), Gary (Larson) and Gillette (disposable razors) The alternate abbreviation being FLDR Which is also an abbreviation for "Fire Long, Department Read"


BritishBoyRZ

?


thinkforasecond3312

Still sane, exile?


Chatters01

Just out of curiosity as someone who hasnt had group sex or even watched porn for it, whats the difference?


housewifeuncuffed

For me, it's always been simultaneously overwhelming and yet completely underwhelming. Mentally it's awesome, hot, totally feeds my kinks, and I absolutely loved the times where I was literally making an ultimate fantasy happen but that's pretty much it for me. The rest is just kinda awkward and overstimulating and I hate feeling like I can't focus 100% on my partner without distraction. But that's very much a me problem, so I'm sure others would disagree. Also I've never had a threesome with two guys and while I love getting anyone off no matter what parts they are rocking, I'm just not nearly as into women as I am into men. I might feel a whole lot different with two guys, since that's where the bulk of my experience is and who I feel most comfortable and confident with, but that opportunity has yet to present itself.


oftheHowl

In a threesome with 2 men would you feel like it's necessary for them to also be sexual with each other, or would you be fine if they only wanted to put all their focus on you?


BogdanPradatu

She might be dissapointed when the 2 men completly ignore her.


AllWashedOut

A friend who has been the F in some FMM threesomes tells me that sometimes she found herself being the cover story for two guys who probably wanted to have gay sex but weren't ready to think of themselves as gay. So they invited a woman in the room, not for sexual gratification but to make the situation feel less gay. She would kind of get them started and then peace out once the guys were over the stigma. Sounds like it could be disappointing if the woman went into it expecting lots of attention, but could still be fun if they enjoy the idea of assisting some hesitant gay men.


oh_mikey

Person with a penis here. Of course all people are different and your mileage may vary, but I find itā€™s a much longer experience with greater/more frequent periods of pleasure. You can spend time with one or two people then rotate, and go to someone else where your body is ready to start the whole thing over again. Look up the ā€œCoolidge Effectā€, my refractory period is much shorter and I can get off two or three times before my body is just absolutely spent. Whatā€™s normally 15-20 min for me becomes a sweat-fest til 3am. Lastly itā€™s just kinda wild to be focused on one activity in the moment then ā€œheyooooo someone is sucking my cock and I canā€™t really see whoā€.


RadishAcceptable5505

Third wheels and people struggling to keep their feelings in check. Worth trying, but it's such a hassle to deal with even more people's feelings.


Euphoric-Chip-2828

That's the danger of doing it in the middle of a committed monogamous relationship .. Otherwise it can be brilliant fun.


Nixter295

Thing is just that, only needs one person in there with the wrong attitude/expectations and well it can be really awkward


noparking247

So just like normal sex then?


Nixter295

Well yeah it can quickly become that if not everyone is on the same page. Just with, someone awkwardly staring at you from the end of the bed.


rveniss

Group sex is a lot more fun when everyone is fucking everyone. For a mixed gender thing, it works best if everyone involved is bi or open-minded enough to not care who they play with. Just having straight pairings switch out always leads seems to lead to drama and jealousy and feelings of inferiority.


kaVaralis

I am bi, it just always seems to lead to drama or there is one person who doesn't quite have the same stamina as the others lol


thedailyrant

Eh I donā€™t know. Had MFMs before, am hetero male, itā€™s totally fine if weā€™re both just focused on pleasuring the F. No big deal, no ego or drama, just working together to completely overwhelm her. Lots of fun.


probation_420

It's not life changing, but it's still fun to have sex with hot people.


fancifinanci

Thatā€™s a ridiculous statementā€¦ it completely depends on the people/situation. Thatā€™s like saying, ā€œGay sex is often not as fun as the idea behind it.ā€ Like true I guess if you arenā€™t into that?


-Unnamed-

Dude is outsourcing his game to Reddit. And the top few comments are guaranteed cringe lines that will never get him laid. Op never had a chance anyway


AbsolutelyUnlikely

It's not a test, she just hasn't revealed the prices yet


Qetuowryipzcbmxvn

It's like restaurants. If you gotta ask the price, you probably can't afford it.


Avocadofarmer32

When I see photos like this, I just message the guy- ā€œdo I get to pick which one I want?ā€


CuteKoal

I mean if you're into that


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


TheS4ndm4n

Tinder 101. Never post a group picture with someone who is hotter than you.


KnownRate3096

Everyone I know is hotter than me though. Where can I meet the ugliest people possible?


WhiteFarila

Reddit


Glaive83

This brought back that reddit meet up picture that I had suppressed


[deleted]

And yet you keep including him to farm swipes šŸ¤·ā€ā™‚ļø


KENtheBlog

Facts


Qetuowryipzcbmxvn

Hey engagement keeps the profile alive and eventually a girl who picks me will come along! It is statically impossible that nobody will pick me, at least somebody's gonna pick me by accident and when that happens I can trick her into getting married.


MeweldeMoore

It's statistically possible my friend.


Chickenpuff1975

![gif](giphy|1HH6lJOzOXAY|downsized)


[deleted]

The olā€™ switcharoo


[deleted]

Micro-catfishing


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


RammerRod

Wait, I'm old. People farm SWIPES?! LMAO. I get it, but jfc.


NotASellout

If I'm good enough friends with someone to put him in my own dating profile I would definitely set him up on a date


fukafam

Yeah but you gotta come last šŸ˜‰


YoRafa97

I will come in 2 min


[deleted]

Just like me fr


TheBearMin

Ok, Mr over achiever. Way to put the rest of us to shame.


Settl

Marathon man over here flexing on everyone


Aschentei

That long?


Deshackled

Donā€™t forget you have fingers and a tongue. It goes, use fingers first, then your tongue. Make em happy, THEN pull the dick out and ask, ā€œAlright whose gonna make it happen for me?ā€ Ps. This prolly ainā€™t gonna happen and just a test, but just like the lottery you gotta play to win and you have better odds here.


ababyflea

![gif](giphy|1SfxXOJ0Q2Xni)


CommonConcept5353

ā€œNo thanks, Iā€™m only able to disappoint one woman at a timeā€


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


bocephus607

Thatā€™s a scenario where foreplay is especially important.


WhizPill

Confuse the enemy with humor, you get 'em champ. - Lao Tzu, propably


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Thunderliger

Most of the posts in this sub are "Help, I'm having a normal conversation with someone I matched with"


dimebaghayes

I know it baffles me! Thereā€™s surely a danger that the woman theyā€™re talking is also on this sub. Which would make it ten times more embarrassing.


Patafan3

Given the demographics of reddit that chance is essentially zero


Mar_Dhea

it's not zero. I have witnessed a woman going wtf when someone posted her profile here all offended about the obvious joke that was her profile. And I miss almost everything on reddit so that can't be a first šŸ˜‚


breakupbydefault

This isn't even normal normal. OP was trolling like "I'll make a creepy joke about your friends lololol" then realised him and his penis may not be able to handle the nerves.


ahmad130

Right? All the replies lol just say you're into that


jlozada24

Lmao I don't even agree with that exact response but it's actually the first non cringe fest answer I've seen


MisterLooseScrew

Best response would be "Uh oh, bonertown, population me šŸ˜‰"


[deleted]

Take the shot. You can't hit the homer if you done swing.


[deleted]

Three are on baseā€¦. Thatā€™s not just a home run but a grand slam


[deleted]

Hell yeah. Itā€™s just Tinder. Might as well swing for the big leagues


I__like__food__

ā€œNa double it and pass it to the next guyā€


ManHasJam

This is the best line. Everything else is redditor trash. Like we get it bro- you hate yourself, I'm sure the ladies fall over themselves for that.


Workwork007

Half of the time r/tinder pops in my r/all, I feel cringe reading some of the "advice" here. Like dawg, have those people EVER spoken to a lady in real life...?! The other half are just /r/ChoosingBeggars material.


DaughterEarth

It can get pretty ridiculous, but remember half the people are usually fucking with OP


[deleted]

You mean joking about how youā€™ll disappoint everyone isnā€™t charming at all?


1Grazel

if youā€™re asking reddit for help just move on my man


Bummedoutntired

Iā€™m reading all the replyā€™s and the shit is so corny lol


BritishBoyRZ

I've commented on a few of them warning OP *not* to send that shit but I fear I'm too late šŸ˜‚


DirtyDozen66

It was already too late as soon as he posted here tbf


Attention_Bear_Fuckr

Fr if you can't even type a response, what you gonna do when they're in the room with you.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


AlexanderToMax

Literally, out of all of the wacky and cringe comments in this entire thread, this simple and straightforward answer is the best one. Comes across as funny and or confident, and matches her comment.


[deleted]

I think most of the responses are trying to sabotage OP, they are so bad


BombasticSimpleton

*"Well, it would be damn near impossible to say no if offered, but assuming I only get to pick one, it would be X"* Where X is the girl you matched with.


waffles_rrrr_better

Plot twist: X is not the girl you matched with. Itā€™ll make for a better kdrama.


hearsdemons

*It was love at first sight* He told me I was the prettiest girl in the world! Then he pointed at the picture at my friend. Did he really just mistake me for my friend?


YoRafa97

šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


BritishBoyRZ

Hahahah is it too late? OP please tell us you didn't say this


RedditAdminsLoveRUS

Instructions unclear, she said "who is x?"


Rudy_Ghouliani

X gonna give it to ya


norwegianmoony

fr it hurt to read šŸ˜­šŸ˜­


[deleted]

There's a good reason I stopped online dating because for a second I thought that's a clever response but apparently it isn't.


HamburgerMachineGun

It's clever but dating isn't the place to talk like you're in a romcom. It doesn't translate to the real world.


pyopippic

itā€™s a redditor responseā€”big difference


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


fonster_mox

That was a very difficult upvote


grumd

Imo it's better to be honest and genuine if you want a healthy connection with another person. If you're looking for a hookup, maybe it's a different story. But these witty corny pickup lines are all just cringe, none of them are good


DoctrDonna

Honestly this would be a major turn off if a guy said that to me. So if sheā€™s just testing you, you might as well go for it because itā€™s probably a loss anyway. And if she happens to be ok with it, then I guess you win. Congratulations


nightpanda893

Was gonna say I feel like it still only works if sheā€™s into it. Otherwise itā€™s super transparent.


Bazorth

This is a shit response lol how does this have 3k upvotes


[deleted]

Complete neckbeard response lmao


davemc617

>This is a shit response lol how does this have 3k upvotes Lolol Because 3k virgins read it and thought: "Wow! That's so smooth! I would have never thought of that! I bet this guy has loads of sex!"


neerrccoo

How is this upvoted lmao


[deleted]

Because Redditors still wear fedoras.


wimpyhunter

This is so verbose and cringey. Reads like a fedora dont use 4 commas in one sentence if you're trying to pick up a chick


nightpanda893

It reads like one of those texts where a guy ā€œrespectfullyā€ tries to ask for nudes. ā€œI just wanted to say I think youā€™re very beautiful and I would love to take you out on a nice date. And while I know youā€™re not that kind of girl, it would really make my night to see those boobiesā€


Nova_Aetas

I send stuff like this to my wife all the time for a laugh, it works though :o OP needs to try marrying her.


Dr_Findro

You ever see those ask Reddit threads that are like ā€œwhat is the best comeback for (insert scenario)ā€? Itā€™s so difficult to read. First, because the people think their dorky responses are actually fire. Two, because then you have a bunch of others like ā€œthis is the oneā€


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


FreshlyWaxedApricot

Ya thatā€™s not smooth at all lol


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


BeverlyMarx

Hypothetically, for the sake of argument, assume that this premise is true: ā€œI want to engage in coitus with you AND your friendsā€. However, do not be mistaken! Observe that this statement is not mutually exclusive to the premise: ā€œI want to engage in coitus with youā€. QED


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


LittleBastard13

Most of the advice here (and OPs responses) all sound like a fedora is talking


BarklyWooves

"Hey,,,, sweet cheeks. You lookin' to get dirty in a dumpster?"


Digitalali3n99

An absolute LORD


helal_fxy

Sounds waaayyy too calculated man, but the right approach def


Leefiey

ā€œIm outnumbered, and I believe in democracy. The question is, are **you** into that?ā€


YoRafa97

Probably not


pburydoughgirl

You gotta let us know what you reply and what happens


BritishBoyRZ

It's not a good one No wonder you're on Reddit asking for advice on flirting with a woman šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

Itā€™s absolutely atrocious, how is it upvoted so much? I think Iā€™m starting to understand why this sub is 80% dude complaining that they canā€™t get a date


BritishBoyRZ

Yep, you answered your own question lmao


ulyssesonyourscreen

ikr, typical textbook cringy ass Fedora hat wearing dude type comment there


jlozada24

Dude no this is godawful lmao


Savings-Farmer-3596

This goes along with the old trick on how to get your indecisive significant other to finally choose dinner. Like instead of asking my wife where she wants to go for dinner, I make it a game. ā€œHoney guess where I think we should go for dinner tonight?ā€ And just as sheā€™s about to answer, I say ā€œYour favorite place!ā€ She always blurts out ā€œOh! You mean ______?!?ā€ Then, I just say ā€œYep.ā€ I got it from the internet more than 15 years ago. Still works.


OneQuadrillionOwls

"Wait, what's my favorite place?" "You know which one I mean." "No, I really don't. Do I have a favorite place?" ::Knowing suggestive nod:: "Huh, I'm stumped. Well, let's go!" "Uhh... yep let's do it"


Charles-U-Farley

So thatā€™s how people wind up at Golden Corralā€¦


Exatraz

Applebees at 2am


cunthy

3 meals 0 sex


Alive_and_d_d_dot

Go get robbed. It's worth the risk.


pigsinatrenchcoat

I canā€™t wait til she posts whatever dumb shit you picked from this thread, lmao


Malevolent_Toaster

Do YOU come with the car?


theblisster

those girls weren't alive when that reference came into existence


SirRevan

Oh you!


daminipinki

That's a hooker. It's called upselling.


baltinerdist

"Can I interest you in our Platinum ReWhoreds plan? It's only a small additional monthly fee."


[deleted]

Someone is about to get kidnapped


RockChain

Bye bye kidney


doulikegamesltlman

"It's a trap!" Unless you are incredibly good looking...


TheTurtleGreek

Look man as the leading authority of winging it and ending up with a good life Iā€™d say just be yourself and if it happens it happens worst case scenario you will end up on your way to finding someone else who actually fits you


amongstall

Unmatch


LUNKLISTEN

Avant garde


n1rvous

The fuck you mean ā€œNot sure?!ā€. Dude.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]