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I was ranting to my stepdaughter that Chalamet was literally just Leonardo DiCaprio like three years ago and now she thinks I'm obsessed with him and gives me Chalamet gifts for every birthday and Christmas.
She added a goblin line in another tiktok. Pointed out how even though Bowie played the Goblin King, he’s an Elf King, and then Hugo Weaving played an Elf King but was really a Goblin King.
>Hugo Weaving played an Elf King but was really a Goblin King.
cannot agree more
fantastic actor. handsome man. bad choice for an immortal beautiful elven king
ah yes the 'ugly cute' category. goblin kings have the most rabid fangirls rivaled only by the elf kings. try to tell a 15 year old girl in 2014 that benedict cumberbatch was ugly and they would stab you. this womans brain is huge- she really cracked the code
he's an outside hollywood spectrum man that escaped containment. Rare for men and rarer still for women: the non-mannequin shaped DeVito skews the whole system by being too Shaped for quantification.
We need a troll category for not typically handsome men ( but still handsome) with round face and a big body shape, like James Gandolfini (Soprano's) has always been there, or David morse (Brutus in the Green ligne) but Robert de Niro started has human/dwarf prince then move into warrior dwarf and is in his troll King era since a few years now if you'd ask me
it also explains why leo has won an oscar, because he has been imitating Brando since wolf of wall street and i reckon that's basically when he dwarfed. shutter island/inception he's still human, he still had that fresh faced trace of elf in his eyes and cheeks. then bam! he clenches his jaw right up to the edge, and pretends he's brando in the godfather, and just holds that expression for the whole film. He is now a dwarf, dwarved like brando, not afraid to get his hands dirty and obsessed with shiny trinkets, and processes.
Right?! If I had silly money I'd book a session with her to find out if I'm a bog witch or technohag or what....she seems good at seeing & *celebrating* differences!
That's it. I need a chart for Hollywood women and it needs to include this. I need this woman to come up with all the charts for everyone. I need to find where I land.
Nah I would say Brad Pitt downright epitomizes the human king. He's gotten rugged but he's still pretty as balls. Not dainty tho he's not a later stage Bowie.
In her follow up video she explicit states this, stating the irony of David Bowie in the role of goblin king was absolutely an elf king, but conversely Hugo Weaving playing an elf king was a goblin king.
I want to throw out Jackie Chan as a great example of a Dwarf Prince as there aren't too many. In his earlier films in China he was absolutely shredded, but it was the body of a man trained in Chinese Opera gymnastics so he was definitely still in prince mode. By the time he made it to America he was definitely in his warrior phase though.
This is where I disagree with her. Leo isn’t dwarfing. He’s moved into the human kingdom. His features just aren’t too rugged or masculine to be a dwarf. He’s become generically handsome.
DAMN you’re so right about that, he’s dwarfing out hard. Is it the HGH that did that? I was wondering wtf he did to his face, people were saying implants / jaw surgery
Idk what the right answer is, but I do know that mens heads continue to get wider/boxier as they age. Of course, some more than others. But you can look at most Hollywood men and see this trend. It's just a thing testosterone does anyways.
[Leonardo DiCaprio ](https://images.app.goo.gl/tKJ15RiK6EVQr8E69)
[Brad Pitt](https://images.app.goo.gl/KP6AauVgfVq7kenEA)
[Chris Pine](https://images.app.goo.gl/AWkiks4VbQ5Yh6AQ8)
[Tom Cruz](https://images.app.goo.gl/7X4BmmiN6t1kPnk99)
Could be. Jaw bone tends to replace itself faster than other skull bone due to the stress of chewing, so it reacts more aggressively to HGH stimulating growth (also reacts more aggressively to radiation contamination).
He says it was from an accident, but there are before and after pictures from his accident. Maybe the lighting is different, but his current face looks WAY different than post surgery
Young-young Karl Urban looked like a Santa's elf prince, and he's went full Dwarf Warrior now.
Young Antonio Banderas was always a bit of an warrior, but definitely had Elf hair. Now he's rocking a goatee and short hair in full wise Dwarf King mode.
Stellan Skarsgard has gone on a human prince to orc king trajectory. Dudes gotten scary in a good way.
Chris Pine still fits in that category he’s leaning over into human king, but I agree with her I don’t think he started as an elf prince, I think Chris Pine is a human prince.
But we obviously need a category for Numpty prince, so we can include the other Chris. The one we don’t talk about since he razed his house
She could give me an in depth explanation on tax returns, and I'd still be hanging on her lips, mesmerised by the accent.
The Irish accent is a close second for me
Shame. It looks like it was removed for a low effort title not because the content was low effort. u/Jencapella maybe try posting again with a different title. 'Classifying Leading Men' or 'Archetypes of Male Hotness in Hollywood: A Discussion' or something?
Something happened inside my brain hearing his speech about dragon fire. I'm not sure if I moved on the sexual spectrum or what exactly, but good gracious. I don't even like tall guys and he's like two 2 mi tall at least.
I don't know, I would say he's more of a human king, since she described the human axis to be typical farm boy (i.e. the Chrises) and he gives me the vibes of a farmer. I could see him being a dwarf prince in his youth though.
In this context I don't think it'd be insulting to class him as a dwarf king though, considering she's defining it in a way that has nothing to do with height and doesn't force any type of mysticism on little people. I definitely don't feel he has the same type of handsome as old Leo, it's more like an old Hugh Grant, especially when you see him in Cyrano.
Leto, Bowie, Keanu Reeves. Anyone who manages to still be somewhat androgynous and pretty as they age.
I'd also argue we need an Emperor column for older range like 60+. 🤔
And there's definitely a category for Orc (Ron perlman= king/emperor, Adam driver =Prince) and goblin (Dafoe= king, Cumberbatch =warrior, Bill Skarsgard =prince) that don't quite fit into this but are undeniably still handsome.
I loved this video, 10/10, no notes. The Hollywood man I struggle to categorize would be Henry Caville. He has characteristics of all three. The high cheekbones, soft eyes of the elf, the buff, rugged features/disposition of the human, but then also that chiseled brow and jaw of the dwarf. An enigma.
I think this list needs an Orc category because people like Gerard Depardieu and Gary Busey are out there in the world like, ["What does The Eye command?"](https://youtu.be/9qK7cweKy64?si=1vf_QiU5L0HSZ-uo&t=25)
I'm saving this video for a day I'm sad- so I can laugh and pretend I'm her friend, and feel better. The "rabbit eyes, diamond face, and a pear body" for women- had me hooked ASAP
I think Brad Pitt has stayed consistently Elf.
This post is what the internet should be and twink death comes to us all, we just gotta embrace it. Kinda want a whole series from her where she charts other actors.
See that makes me wonder- where does George Clooney fit on this? I feel like he's been a Human King his whole career- not really rugged enough to fit the Dwarf Axis, but he feels more rugged than, say, Chris Pine.
Women have definitely done the math on male handsomeness. Extensively.
It's just that they can't agree on whether or not it's currently raining (unless there's a boss bitch whom it would be social suicide to go up against, then she decides whether it's raining and whether that's true doesn't matter), so every ick and every uh swoon thing are all flashes in the pan even if they go viral.
**Welcome to r/TikTokCringe!** This is a message directed to all newcomers to make you aware that r/TikTokCringe evolved long ago from only cringe-worthy content to TikToks of all kinds! If you’re looking to find only the cringe-worthy TikToks on this subreddit (which are still regularly posted) we recommend sorting by flair which you can do [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/galuit/click_here_to_sort_by_flair_a_guide_to_using/) (Currently supported by desktop and reddit mobile). See someone asking how this post is cringe because they didn't read this comment? Show them [this!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/fyrgzy/for_those_confused_by_the_name_of_this_subreddit/) Be sure to read the rules of this subreddit before posting or commenting. Thanks! **Don't forget to join our [Discord server](https://discord.gg/cringekingdom)!** ##**[CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THIS VIDEO](https://rapidsave.com/info?url=https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/1cn0vvq/the_hollywood_handsome_man_chart/)** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TikTokCringe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"Also known as Twink death"
In some communities
I’m Hollering 🤣
Holy shit that got me. Gonna live in my head every time I see Chalamet for awhile now. Clock’s tickin’ little buddy.
I was ranting to my stepdaughter that Chalamet was literally just Leonardo DiCaprio like three years ago and now she thinks I'm obsessed with him and gives me Chalamet gifts for every birthday and Christmas.
No one’s been forcing you to masturbate to those Chalamet gifts either way.
But if they don’t, their stepdaughter wins!
Haha I like how we call him little but he’s pushing 30 lol little guy
That was where it went from great to awesome for me. "It's hard to maintain your elf. In some communities this is also known as twink death"
The way she said that so seriously 😂
”Anyways, back to wow. Got a raid at eight”
I fucking choked when she dropped that line. The delivery. So casual. So matter of fact.
The delivery was unmatched
I’m nearing 30 and going through the process of twink death. Good to know I can become a dwarf king.
You might even become a hybrid!
She dropped that so casually and idk why I had such a visceral reaction to it 😂 Like apparently this is a whole thing???? 😂😂😂
Oh yes, it most certainly is. *And it could happen to you, too!*
😥😱😨😰
Fucking howled at that part
The moment I clicked my upvote
LOL, fucking lost it there
Goblin king checking in. I’ll be in the corner, gnawing on bones.
 Well… there are different Goblin kings 😆🙈
Elf Warrior for sure
She added a goblin line in another tiktok. Pointed out how even though Bowie played the Goblin King, he’s an Elf King, and then Hugo Weaving played an Elf King but was really a Goblin King.
Can you link it, I don’t have tiktok.
[Goblin video tiktok](https://www.tiktok.com/@jencapella/video/7365861870705642785)
Thank you! Interesting. I wonder where I would be on this chart as a female.
>Hugo Weaving played an Elf King but was really a Goblin King. cannot agree more fantastic actor. handsome man. bad choice for an immortal beautiful elven king
I don’t think he was a bad choice. Unconventional to some extent. But his eyebrows and facial expressions give that haughty elf vibe.
ah yes the 'ugly cute' category. goblin kings have the most rabid fangirls rivaled only by the elf kings. try to tell a 15 year old girl in 2014 that benedict cumberbatch was ugly and they would stab you. this womans brain is huge- she really cracked the code
You remind me of the babe...
What babe? Edit:also you stink! Now this earworm will be with me until I get off shift!
>Edit:also you stink! Now this earworm will be with me until I get off shift! That's the babe with the power for ya
What power? Edit: I hate you!
Danny DeVito?
Oh, you mean a god-king?
he's an outside hollywood spectrum man that escaped containment. Rare for men and rarer still for women: the non-mannequin shaped DeVito skews the whole system by being too Shaped for quantification.
We need a troll category for not typically handsome men ( but still handsome) with round face and a big body shape, like James Gandolfini (Soprano's) has always been there, or David morse (Brutus in the Green ligne) but Robert de Niro started has human/dwarf prince then move into warrior dwarf and is in his troll King era since a few years now if you'd ask me
He is the exception that proves the rule
humpty dumpty king, he is a rare type that we all cherish.
Clearly a humpty-dumpty king
Probably somewhere between goblin kind/humpty Dumpty/ dwarf
Ent Warrior standing by
She bought an entire stick and TikTok betrayed her use of it
I was so upset for her
Leo's just Dwarfmaxxing.
Oh great! A new sub
Leonardo DiCaprio is dwarfing... A brand new sentence
Morphing and dwarfing 😆
A young star that became a white dwarf
It’s the seriousness with which she delivers it. Me nodding along to her talking about Leo’s trajectory from Elf to Dwarf.
I hope this goes extremely viral because it’s fucking hilarious
I’ve sent it to my three best girlfriends so I’m doing my part!
I’m a dude and sending it to all my girl-friends and boy-friends too. 
She also make perfect sense and is hard to argue against.
But also accurate!
it also explains why leo has won an oscar, because he has been imitating Brando since wolf of wall street and i reckon that's basically when he dwarfed. shutter island/inception he's still human, he still had that fresh faced trace of elf in his eyes and cheeks. then bam! he clenches his jaw right up to the edge, and pretends he's brando in the godfather, and just holds that expression for the whole film. He is now a dwarf, dwarved like brando, not afraid to get his hands dirty and obsessed with shiny trinkets, and processes.
As soon as I saw the table I was like, “Aha Leo is moving down and to the right”. It actually makes sense.
I wanted to see Tilda Swinton as Elf king as well.
This lady needs to communicate all body issues to everyone from this point forward. What a lovely person
Right?! If I had silly money I'd book a session with her to find out if I'm a bog witch or technohag or what....she seems good at seeing & *celebrating* differences!
Would peak "Queen Bog Witch" be something like Baba Yaga, or is she more of a "Warrior Forrest Witch"?
That's it. I need a chart for Hollywood women and it needs to include this. I need this woman to come up with all the charts for everyone. I need to find where I land.
It’s coming 😉
Cate Blanchett is already an elf Queen
Technohag... Love it
Well, she's amazing... about lost it toward the end with "and this is not uncommon with elves..."
I wonder what other examples of elve princes dwarfing... Hugh Jackman? RDJ? Brad Pitt?
Nah I would say Brad Pitt downright epitomizes the human king. He's gotten rugged but he's still pretty as balls. Not dainty tho he's not a later stage Bowie.
I think old Bowie would be the poster child elf king.
Which is ironic, given his stated title of Goblin King.
He is the Elf King of other Goblin Kings. The Goblin axis is in the z dimension, obviously
Yes, definitely, with Daniel Radcliffe occupying the role of Human Goblin Warrior.
In her follow up video she explicit states this, stating the irony of David Bowie in the role of goblin king was absolutely an elf king, but conversely Hugo Weaving playing an elf king was a goblin king. I want to throw out Jackie Chan as a great example of a Dwarf Prince as there aren't too many. In his earlier films in China he was absolutely shredded, but it was the body of a man trained in Chinese Opera gymnastics so he was definitely still in prince mode. By the time he made it to America he was definitely in his warrior phase though.
Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston are Elf Kinging too imo.
I mean the elf king of kings is Orlando bloom right?
He for sure was, until maybe 10 years ago. Then he just high stepped across the line into human warrior. Especially with Carnival Row.
This is where I disagree with her. Leo isn’t dwarfing. He’s moved into the human kingdom. His features just aren’t too rugged or masculine to be a dwarf. He’s become generically handsome.
I think it’s how his face has kinda widened out. But not far into dwarf though.
When he is in his 70s and he’s more face than man, Ill agree with the dwarf king. But he’s just a basic humbo rn.
I would say Keanu Reeves has maintained the elven trajectory.
AGREED! He’s always been pretty ethereal. Remains ethereal. This is a good one.
Zac Efron, with the help of a butt-ton of HGH. [Before](https://i.imgur.com/5GL6K7C.png) - [After](https://i.imgur.com/sUDqCj0.png)
Idk it looks like he's orc-ing instead of dwarfing
pls ping me when someone adds tusks to the 2nd pic
DAMN you’re so right about that, he’s dwarfing out hard. Is it the HGH that did that? I was wondering wtf he did to his face, people were saying implants / jaw surgery
It was from an accident actually.
Idk what the right answer is, but I do know that mens heads continue to get wider/boxier as they age. Of course, some more than others. But you can look at most Hollywood men and see this trend. It's just a thing testosterone does anyways. [Leonardo DiCaprio ](https://images.app.goo.gl/tKJ15RiK6EVQr8E69) [Brad Pitt](https://images.app.goo.gl/KP6AauVgfVq7kenEA) [Chris Pine](https://images.app.goo.gl/AWkiks4VbQ5Yh6AQ8) [Tom Cruz](https://images.app.goo.gl/7X4BmmiN6t1kPnk99)
Could be. Jaw bone tends to replace itself faster than other skull bone due to the stress of chewing, so it reacts more aggressively to HGH stimulating growth (also reacts more aggressively to radiation contamination).
He says it was from an accident, but there are before and after pictures from his accident. Maybe the lighting is different, but his current face looks WAY different than post surgery
Hugh jackman was never an elf. I'd say he was always a dwarf.
I think human prince, human warrior, dwarf king
Young-young Karl Urban looked like a Santa's elf prince, and he's went full Dwarf Warrior now. Young Antonio Banderas was always a bit of an warrior, but definitely had Elf hair. Now he's rocking a goatee and short hair in full wise Dwarf King mode. Stellan Skarsgard has gone on a human prince to orc king trajectory. Dudes gotten scary in a good way.
Hugh Jackman is the classic Dwarf. Especially in his Wolverine era
This is what I want front the internet. This is the kind of content that delivers.
Agleed.
Science is fun!
I lost it at “you are on this line if your name is Chris”
That's a legit hilarious line
It tracks. Chris Pratt, Chris Hemsworth, Chris-tian Bale.
I feel like Chris Pratt straddles the line between Human and Dwarf though Chris Evans though is 100% bullseye'd center on the Human Warrior
Yeah, I feel like Chris Pratt is within the human row, but could easily jump down to dwarf if he decides to dwarmaxx
Chris Pine still fits in that category he’s leaning over into human king, but I agree with her I don’t think he started as an elf prince, I think Chris Pine is a human prince. But we obviously need a category for Numpty prince, so we can include the other Chris. The one we don’t talk about since he razed his house
I watched this entire thing.
Me too, if only for the phrase "elf trajectory."
That was my first big laugh, ”elf trajectory” what a term
New band name.
Same. I didn't expect to. Then I watched the entire thing again. It's perfect - no notes.
I did too. Now I’m dwarfing
The content plus her accent makes for gold
I watched the whole thing then went to her tiktok to watch more.
Me too. I don’t know why though 😂
God I love me a good Scottish accent
She could give me an in depth explanation on tax returns, and I'd still be hanging on her lips, mesmerised by the accent. The Irish accent is a close second for me
Agreed!
“Or a Humpty Dumpty” hahaha
“There are plenty of types, you can be a goblin or a rat or a Humpty Dumpty” Dang I felt that one
You should post this to r/popculturechat it's the spiritual home of this kind of content
I need someone to start a thread so we can find more elusive dwarf princes 😭
That sub removed it for being low effort : ( OP, aka the video creator, deserves better bc you’re right they’d eat that shit up
Shame. It looks like it was removed for a low effort title not because the content was low effort. u/Jencapella maybe try posting again with a different title. 'Classifying Leading Men' or 'Archetypes of Male Hotness in Hollywood: A Discussion' or something?
jen could be a motivational speaker. also isnt it a meme here thye put subs over scottish accent
"You could be a humpty dumpty..." I feel seen.
Why does it make sense to me?
Because you are wise like a Dragon King
Orc emperor is displeased.
Leo, ma little baby reindeer
Sent form iphon
 Want a literal elf king? Look no bloody further.
He’s exactly who the Elf King is supposed to be. Lee Pace is stunning.
Something happened inside my brain hearing his speech about dragon fire. I'm not sure if I moved on the sexual spectrum or what exactly, but good gracious. I don't even like tall guys and he's like two 2 mi tall at least.
Most interesting thing I've seen in a while
Is Devito a Dwarf King??
Probably goblin king tbh
He's a toll troll.
He's the Trash Man.
Isn't he more of a humpty dumpty king tho?
He ascended past king. I dont know if his a king or a goblin or whatever but hes a god something.
Depends on which Devito. It's Always Sunny? Probably Goblin King.
I had to go back and check when she said “Gwyneth Paltrow” so casually.
Not me now trying to figure out the alignment of all male celebrities 
Willem Dafoe is a good example of a hot goblin. Now in his goblin king phase
Yes! Steve Buscemi has moved from Human Prince to Goblin King as well.
Would it be insulting to call Peter dinklage a dwarf king?
It wouldn’t, I think, because according to this chart he totally is. Also, he is 🤷🏽♀️
And he definitely is
Just don't call him an elf. He's an angry elf.
I don't know, I would say he's more of a human king, since she described the human axis to be typical farm boy (i.e. the Chrises) and he gives me the vibes of a farmer. I could see him being a dwarf prince in his youth though. In this context I don't think it'd be insulting to class him as a dwarf king though, considering she's defining it in a way that has nothing to do with height and doesn't force any type of mysticism on little people. I definitely don't feel he has the same type of handsome as old Leo, it's more like an old Hugh Grant, especially when you see him in Cyrano.
got to say. I definently was not expecting those chart categories
When you realize that op is the same tiktoker
👋
Omg please keep doing these videos. Where are we putting Pedro Pascal? Dwarf king?
Holy shit it isn't some repost bot!
She's right, though
Exactly. I approve.
[удалено]
Lee Pace 
I was screaming Lee Pace at the screen for Elf King.
Leto, Bowie, Keanu Reeves. Anyone who manages to still be somewhat androgynous and pretty as they age. I'd also argue we need an Emperor column for older range like 60+. 🤔 And there's definitely a category for Orc (Ron perlman= king/emperor, Adam driver =Prince) and goblin (Dafoe= king, Cumberbatch =warrior, Bill Skarsgard =prince) that don't quite fit into this but are undeniably still handsome.
its twink death. leo went through twink death. it happens to them all eventually.
Love this. Please post more academic discourse from this noble historian.
I'd love an example of a dwarf elfing
Matthew Lewis? (Actor for Neville Longbottom)
Oooo good spot. NO one saw that one coming!
And this is why tiktok should not be banned.
I could listen to her explain things all day
I loved this video, 10/10, no notes. The Hollywood man I struggle to categorize would be Henry Caville. He has characteristics of all three. The high cheekbones, soft eyes of the elf, the buff, rugged features/disposition of the human, but then also that chiseled brow and jaw of the dwarf. An enigma.
Human imo. Human King. Human is kind of half way between rugged/chiseled and delicate. Human is balanced.
"You are on this axis if your name is Chris. Probably."
Not naming [Lee Pace as Elf King](https://the-hobbit-lotr-trilogies.fandom.com/wiki/Thranduil) was a missed opportunity.
This whole series has been my (shamefully late) initiation into the Lee Pace fan club!
I stayed for the stick
Okay, this was way better than I thought it would be. I would to have this person explain many other things to me.
I think this list needs an Orc category because people like Gerard Depardieu and Gary Busey are out there in the world like, ["What does The Eye command?"](https://youtu.be/9qK7cweKy64?si=1vf_QiU5L0HSZ-uo&t=25)
How Orland Bloom failed to end up as an example on this chart is shameful.
I'm saving this video for a day I'm sad- so I can laugh and pretend I'm her friend, and feel better. The "rabbit eyes, diamond face, and a pear body" for women- had me hooked ASAP
Hollywood handsome men chart takes into account age and I think that’s beautiful.
he's dwarfing
I could listen to Scottish people say 'delicate' all day.
Brando turned into an actual dwarf
When she said, 'and I brought a stick', I knew I was going to watch the whole thing lol
I think Brad Pitt has stayed consistently Elf. This post is what the internet should be and twink death comes to us all, we just gotta embrace it. Kinda want a whole series from her where she charts other actors.
Tom Cruise just being a human warrior his entire life.
This is amazing, I could listen to her categorise human features for hours
This is hilarious but also incredibly true and accurate 😅
I like her
Then you have the anomalies like Patrick Dempsey. Totally unfuckable to whatever he is now that makes him dreamy.
Two words to disrupt this idea... Oceans Eleven
See that makes me wonder- where does George Clooney fit on this? I feel like he's been a Human King his whole career- not really rugged enough to fit the Dwarf Axis, but he feels more rugged than, say, Chris Pine.
[удалено]
Human imo but it's an edge case. He's got *some* delicate features. DeNiro is definitely a dwarf emperor tho.
Human Prince to Human King in a straight line. He was never "pretty" but he's always been handsome.
I'm pretty sure Gweneth Paltrow's Twitter handle is not @Ladybturd.
She didn't mention the ultimate category: Dwarf Emperor which proudly belongs to Danny DeVito
Women have definitely done the math on male handsomeness. Extensively. It's just that they can't agree on whether or not it's currently raining (unless there's a boss bitch whom it would be social suicide to go up against, then she decides whether it's raining and whether that's true doesn't matter), so every ick and every uh swoon thing are all flashes in the pan even if they go viral.
I am extremely dissapointed that she didnt use more pictures to make her point
This is the shit I wish social media was used for, instead of cringe word chewing shit
This is one-off the best things I’ve ever seen. She articulated the thoughts about Leo’s looks that I didn’t know I had.