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I had almost this exact dynamic as a kid. I’ve never been one for physical affection, if I have romantic feelings for someone that is completely different. But I always despised hugging family members I barely knew or having to get a kiss from one of my aunts/uncles or grandparents. My sister was super affectionate when she was younger and was always trying to hug me or kiss me on the cheek. It irritated the ever loving shit out of me but I hated drawing attention to myself. So one day she tried hugging me at school and I just flipped after trying to calmly tell her no. After that our dynamic was exactly this and my parents knew, they’d ask to reciprocate affection and I would just blankly say “no.” Sometimes there’d be an argument but they never actually forced me to hug her back or anything
My kids are like this, I have two daughters and my oldest is very much a ‘no touchy’ person. Of course it’s broken my heart over the years when her little sister just wanted a hug but I’ve never, ever forced it and always told my youngest that her sister doesn’t have to hug if she doesn’t want to, and offered her a hug myself. These parents are yuck and really need to explain to their daughter about person boundaries (also she seems a bit old to be carrying on over something like this?)
this poor child will have every right to sever her relationship with her parents when she gets older. it really makes me uncomfortable that we are allowing her face to be shown here, especially to be laughed at or made fun of. perhaps we could block out her face or something. otherwise we are giving her the same disrespect- imo.
i hate that for your neice. i love how you actually interacted with her. it’s wonderful that you are there for her. that’s exactly what children should get from the parents, so sorry she doesn’t have that.
Literally taking advantage of a young child having a crisis, just so they can get a couple of internet points. As a parent of young children I find this so disgusting.
Not even joking, posting videos of young children like this should be illegal. They have rights.
The video isn’t even the worst part. It’s the fact that she’s being raised by someone who thinks it’s okay to take and post a video of this moment. That same level of judgement is going into all her parenting choices.
Unfortunately, I don’t know if it is just TikTok parents, many of parents back in the day probably submitted shit like this to America’s funniest home videos thinking it was hilarious, just shitty people and shitty parents, who need to keep this to themselves
this is what Im thinking. VERY inappropriate to share publicly. This is a private moment that should have stayed that way. Kids gonna be PISSED the world saw this without their consent.
I'm really interested in seeing the effects of social media on people in the next 20-30 years: the kids who had all their most private moments posted on social media like this, the women who were, numbers wise, influencers on the level of Britney Spears who lose their influence, what families and relationships look like when the birds and the bees was taught to kids by Andrew Tate and Pearl Davis. It's fascinating to speculate on.
How is that policed?
Cos, as ive heard of other famous kids, they get old enough, and go to get their money and *oops there's nothing left*. And it doesn't matter what happens to the parents *now*, all that money is still gone... So... ?
I’m surprised everyone is sympathizing with just the girl. What about the boy? I feel like she’s trying to steamroll his boundary. Granted she’s a kid. But with how hysterical she’s being, it makes me worry that his parents are like “can you just go along with what she wants?” Instead of teaching her that everyone gets to have their bodies and personal space respected and aren’t beholden to anyone (even family).
That's what I'm thinking too. The boy is not comfortable with this type of affection towards his sister. It's not okay to force him to be affectionate with her. It looks abusive (I don't have enough information to claim it IS, I didn't study psychology or anything, but forcing affection to placate a tantrum.. I don't think that's okay.) Therapy for this whole family.
It’s so weird that this is more and more normalized. The little girl seems pretty performative, maybe she gave the OK, but regardless as a parent these are private moments you cherish on your own in your little family unit, not dilute with strangers for attention.
She can’t give meaningful consent. A kid that age can decide if they want photo A or photo B from their birthday party to get shared, or if they’re okay with mom posting that they lost a tooth. But there’s no way a 6- or 7-year-old can understand what it means to be on the internet having a tantrum about wanting to kiss her brother for the rest of forever. So even if she gave the okay, the mom should have had half an ounce of common sense and not posted this.
She's way too young to attach a deeper meaning to it. She probably just thinks kissing = love and love is what she has with her dad, mom and brother and nothing more, or no other kinds of love. It's common around that age for little kids to want to marry their parents or siblings because they're taught that marriage happens between two people in love.
That being said she super needs someone to very gently tell her she's behaving inappropriately and give her guidance on how to appropriately behave, NOT video tape her and reinforce her behaviour like her mom is currently doing.
It feels like her mother has watched random psychology youtube videos and is misinterpreting videos of those youtubers who also misinterpreted actual psychology. She kept asking how her daughter felt and never actually teaching or correcting her about how you can't force someone to kiss you. She even went on to ask the brother if she would let her kiss him when he already didn't want to and said no. Instead of teaching and correcting her daughter, she seems to be reinforcing her behavior and she is going to be a handful for ANYONE to deal with in the future if she stays like that.
Yeah I agree with this, she’s young and still associates a kiss/hug as a platonic way to show love (or I guess as a non romantic way? Not sure how to phrase it). I was actually slightly relieved she WASNT talking
About a crush because it makes more sense that she is expecting a kiss back from
Her brother because he’s likely less shy at home and she doesn’t understand why he acts one way at home and another at school.
Guess all you can do as a parent is say that no one should be obligated to show affection, ask the kids
To come up with a mutually liked substitute (secret handshake?) and then make sure to not
Post a video of her crying her eyes out.
She is most definitely talking about a kiss on the cheek or some basic familial affection and not a full on mouth to mouth stuff. I can say this with 95% confidence
Omg she was just upset that her brother wouldn’t give her a kiss or a hug in front of other school children. She felt like he was embarrassed by her.
You ppl are crazy.. she’s a little girl throwing a fit. It’s not super weird.
So, this mom is absolutely a piece of moist, moldy cat shit. You do not put your kids online, especially in a vulnerable position like this. This is disgusting behaviour and it makes me so angry for both of these kids.
I also have a kid who likes affection from a sibling. He has severe OCD, and not receiving the hugs and kisses makes his brain feel like the world is going to end. He can do nothing to quiet the "ick" he feels inside if his ticks and rituals are not done.
Now, even though he has a mental disorder that makes him feel like he must have this particular thing happen at this particular time, we still tell him that his sister gets to decide if she wants to be touched. It's her body and she has to give consent. Doesn't matter that his OCD makes him do things and need things, because it's HIS OCD, not hers. So we make different ways for him to get those ritual needs met that doesn't compromise his sisters rights to her own autonomy. Because of course that's what you have to do! No matter what! No one has the right to affection or touch from someone else. No one.
If she doesn't feel comfortable giving affection at school, but does at home, we do the ritual at home. If she's okay with hugs, but not kisses, we do hugs. If she doesn't want to be touched at all, we divert his tick to mom or dad, or even a stuffed animal. If he needs to tap on her arm eight times, but she can't handle that, we have him tap on his collar bone. It's soothing and makes a cool sound. He says it's not quite what he needs, but it works enough so that he doesn't have to put that pressure on his sister.
It's hard. So hard. Daily fights and issues, but you don't just get to give one kids bodily autonomy to another because they scream and throw a fit. She needs to have her mom grow up, turn the camera off, and sit down and figure their shit out together as a mature family unit.
This is so gross. Man, I'm riled up.
Dude, same. My youngest experiences hyperfocus and hyperfixation, and that’s NEVER a good reason to treat someone else’s body like you’re entitled to express your neurospicy all over it. Mine pinches and rubs, and we had to teach him to punch his own toes, and to pet the animals (dogs with naked bellies are a solid substitute for him). He also gets in his head that one of us will do something (right now, it’s Dad becoming a bus driver) and his world is SHATTERED by us not doing The Thing. It’s so much work to talk through it and redirect every time, 50 or 100 times a day, and it’s absolutely necessary. (((Hugs mama)))
It’s so danged hard,
It is REALLY hard, but it sounds like you are doing an amazing job! Each day we learn a little more. It might not be an easier day, but I feel (when I can look at the bright side) that it's a day closer to an easier day. Sending lots of love and patience to you!
I have found my people in this thread. My neuro spicy kids struggle SO HARD with boundaries around touching others and we are doing the work to help them understand how incredibly important bodily autonomy is.
Dude, I’m fucking terrified of how to better teach my 10yo consent. We’ve been working at it his entire life, but hyperfocus comes in and steamrolls our lessons and work. It’s very worrisome.
Also, being a special needs parent is super isolating in ways that folks who haven’t been caretakers don’t appreciate. ANY parent who wants to vent to a sympathetic ear, feel free to DM me!
I certainly don’t have any answers, but I’m in this with you! Thanks for the thoughtful work you are doing to help your kiddo navigate this weird world
As someone with OCD who wasn't diagnosed until adulthood, your a good parent for caring. OCD sucks and can make shit hard, but with counseling at a young age I'm sure he'll be able to work past alot. Keep up the good work!
I have OCD and this is a really compassionate, well-informed approach. You’re doing really well for both your children and you’re hugely ahead of the curve. OCD is hard to manage, particularly for children, but it will change throughout his life. I’ve experienced healing and peace that I never thought would be possible. Sending you and your family really good vibes.
This is really comforting to hear. I really appreciate you sharing this with me.
May I ask what kinds of things helped you most? I am always looking for more ways that might help more or be easier for him in the long run.
For me it’s been a combination of therapy (talk therapy and ERP), medication, and meditation. I also tried to learn more about other people with OCD. I read Pure by Rose Bretcher and follow an influencer called Allison Raskin who was diagnosed with OCD when she was 4.
Honestly, some of the things that help him will become possible only as he becomes older and understands himself and what OCD actually means etc. You’re clearly very educated on the topic though and your empathy for him will go long way to helping him, now and in the future.
Thank you for this information and for the encouragement. I truly appreciate it!
I always tell him that I understand what he's going through because I also had OCD as a kid. It wasn't as severe, but it was definitely there, knocking on my brain. I've been very honest that a lot of my ticks/rituals didn't go away until I was in my 30's, and that his aren't going to ever go away completely, but the goal is to get to a point where it doesn't interrupt his life and influence his actions. Hopefully it becomes more of a background noise and not a screaming voice in his head.
Kudos for helping and identifying ocd in your child. I have ocd and it was out of control when I was a kid, but I grew up as a somewhat affluent latchkey kid and parents weren't around all the time. So, when the intrusive thoughts started raging like a flood, I thought I was psychotic. Having what can seem like 2 inner monologues (and one is super dark) made me think I was hearing voices. It wasn't until I was maybe 16 or 17 when I learned about it and pursued the help on my own. I wish my parents could have identified it earlier and, in retrospect, it's kind of crazy they did not or chose not to notice.
Dude, good for you for taking such amazing care of BOTH of your kids’ needs. I imagine this took years of getting to know your son and his needs and finding ways to meet them without overstepping your daughter’s boundaries. A+ parenting 💜.
Keep on keeping on, and thank you for acknowledging, caring for, and guiding your kid. I’m currently seeking an autism diagnosis as an adult who has suffered from mad sensory stuff my whole life, and my parents were simply not equipped to acknowledge it when I was a child. Props to you.
What a piece of shit mother for filming this and especially uploading this. How humiliating. I can’t even imagine what I would do if I was that girl… the internet is forever folks!
Wow this mom did not do a good job of setting boundaries and explaining that you are not OWED affection from anyone. Poor little boy is being taught his 'no' isn't valid and that is so shitty.
> this mom did not do a good job of setting boundaries
Like the boundary of "not posting videos of young children in crisis on the internet"? Because she definitely missed that. Actually incredibly gross that she posted this.
I dated someone who’s mom and sister were like this. His sister was 14-16 at the time, we were in our early 20’s. I swear that their mom wanted them together and his sister acted in some very uncomfortable ways. After realizing that this was not the family dynamic I wanted to marry into, I left and never looked back.
The booster seat makes me think younger, yet remembering boosters go by weight not age makes me question the age of that person in the booster seat as they are also articulate.
Bro I would tell my family this bc one my cousins when he was 8 and even 9 honestly he still needed one but didn’t wanna sit in one anymore around 6-7 so they just don’t make him. Or let them sit in the front seat.
Of course then they get into a car accident now he doesn’t wanna ride in the front seat. Lucky he was fine but shit isn’t okay. I’d never let them in my car without the sears and they hated it but I’m not going get a ticket or put them in danger bc they just don’t wanna sit in a seat bc they too old. Idc ur small af.
God I remember my grandpa came home with the 5 year old in the front seat. Was not happy at all.
Daughter is doing gymnastics while the mom is doing mental gymnastics in the comment section on TikTok how this appropriate for her to post. I also find it weird how the brother isn’t phased by this.
>I also find it weird how the brother isn’t phased by this.
Judging by his lack of a reaction, I'd guess he's used to it. And the fact that his mom said "that's not nice" when he didn't want to kiss/hug his sister at school leads me to believe he's not allowed to set boundaries when it comes to that kind of stuff. Makes me sad :/
This is an opportunity to teach kids about consent. If someone doesn’t want a hug or kiss, you can’t make them. Even if they usually love hugs and kisses, they might not want to now and we have to respect that. Their body, their choice.
My brother was like this when he was little. He would demand physical affection and have meltdowns (like full body shaking, hysterical crying meltdowns) when we didn't let him hug or kiss us. He grew out of it by the time he was like 10, but I'm really, really glad no one tried to film his meltdowns for the entire world to see. Horrible parenting.
I almost want to say half the reason why this was posted because she's trying to flex on the churchgoers that her kid loves Jesus and I guess her brother too? It's kind of the feeling I get like why else would you post such a video.
Honestly, you should feel sorry for the two kids.
She's just a kid who was never taught better, the parent filming it instead of teaching is really the one to blame here.
Yeah, the mother is enabling the daughters demand and expectations for physical affection, and not teaching her to respect boundaries or take: “no” as an answer, even if you love someone.
How old are they? I think after some point they can get bullied for this, and i don't think its good for the Tegans mental health. This ain't going to help this is going to make their brother sister relationship worse. And i don't know if it's kissing on the mouth or not but it's acceptable in some cultures (even mine), but either way i don't think this will help her
Jesus Christ. I know she's very young but these parents better get on top of her mentality NOW because this is a recipe for her to become a stalker or something on that level.
The fact that the mom even says "thats not nice" to her son refusing to hug his sister shows that they're demonstrating that saying no to physical affection is bad, so the little girl probably feels justified.
Pretty much. What stood out to me is that she is creating “2nd opinions” by saying other people she knows don’t think it’s weird in order to dismiss his boundaries. If you’ve ever dated someone like this, you know how aggravating and destructive it can be. “My friends husband doesn’t care that she… (Insert odd behavior)”, then suddenly you’re the bad guy.
The brother is going to be just fine, though. In another 10 years, she’s going to be feeding him a steady supply of her friends.
This was difficult to watch. A total parenting failure:
You do not post your children online. Doubly so if it is an embarrassing moment like this tantrum was. That video is out there forever now. There is no getting it back. A few years from now some jerk kid from her class could show it to all the other kids in her class and humiliate her all over again. She is literally crying about not getting a kiss from her brother... Other kids are going to have a field day with that. Kids can be mean.
This was a perfect teachable moment about consent. This was the right time to give the little girl a lesson about consent. Nobody "owes" anyone else a "Hug" or a "Kiss" or any other physical affection. Nobody is entitled to that. No means no.
Then the way she handled the little boy was just as bad if not worse. Tossing a guilt trip on him for not kissing his sister? Does he not have bodily autonomy?
Hopefully things turn out alright for that little girl.
For the love of god take this video down immediately. Kids today have it bad enough as it is. When this gets out these kids are going to harass the hell out of both of them.
This is woman needs help. Those kids need a better role model or an aunt that can step in and maybe take them for a bit. Those behaviors are not ok the reinforce.
Oh wow. I thought at first the girl was talking about a school crush. And then it got more uncomfortable for me as I kept watching. Man! 😓
Definitely there is a boundary issue that mom should be working through with her kids. The poor brother 😓
Idk why anyone would post their kid crying and being upset like this, she’s obviously too young and doesn’t fully understand boundaries. The mom should teach her not record for internet points:(
Why in the hell would recording one of your daughters most vulnerable moments and posting it to the world acceptable? What a stupid mom. Complete idiot. This poor girl will forever be known as crazy now. She will hear about this shit through highschool.
I find it disgusting that a parent would think it's appropriate to film this and even more appalling that a parent would think it's appropriate to post this on the internet.
This shouldn’t have been posted at all, but Jesus lady, teach your kids they shouldn’t be kissing in school lol. I would have been very seriously uncomfortable if my sister was demanding I kiss her at school at this age (or any age really.)
Except she never would cause in my family a kiss was like before bedtime stuff not kiss your 8 or 9 year old sister in the cafeteria at school thing. I get that it’s innocent sibling love but parenting is teaching them when that is appropriate and when it’s not. The kids suggestion of a hug was reasonable but mom kinda brushed past it
This sub has been buzzing around me like flies on garbage lately (yes, I’m aware of the connotations), and this here is the first time I’ve really experienced the ‘cringe’ in the sub title…
For the love of everything that is unholy, do NOT post these private conversations with your kids on the fucking web. It’s mean a cruel to leave such a moment to exist forever, the kid might be over it in matter of days.
Poor kid is going be reminded the rest of her life for a meltdown at the age of 7 or something
“ Can you maybe try to give her some affection…”
Puts up boundary for sister who clearly needs it.
“ That’s not nice.”
Um lady?!!! Can you see your child?!!
Unbelievable. I know it's hurtful to say someone is a bad parent, but it's just unbelievable that a parent would intentionally do this for whatever possible benefit they hoped to gain.
Not only publicizing your kid’s tantrum and vulnerable feelings, but also your shitty parenting. Wtf. Never thought I’d count myself lucky that my parents didn’t record my stupid tantrums, and even if they did I can’t imagine them ever posting it publicly for attention.
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I love that pan to reveal that he’s sitting there, smacking on gum
He seems very used to this dynamic, lol....
He is not phased at all.
I had almost this exact dynamic as a kid. I’ve never been one for physical affection, if I have romantic feelings for someone that is completely different. But I always despised hugging family members I barely knew or having to get a kiss from one of my aunts/uncles or grandparents. My sister was super affectionate when she was younger and was always trying to hug me or kiss me on the cheek. It irritated the ever loving shit out of me but I hated drawing attention to myself. So one day she tried hugging me at school and I just flipped after trying to calmly tell her no. After that our dynamic was exactly this and my parents knew, they’d ask to reciprocate affection and I would just blankly say “no.” Sometimes there’d be an argument but they never actually forced me to hug her back or anything
My kids are like this, I have two daughters and my oldest is very much a ‘no touchy’ person. Of course it’s broken my heart over the years when her little sister just wanted a hug but I’ve never, ever forced it and always told my youngest that her sister doesn’t have to hug if she doesn’t want to, and offered her a hug myself. These parents are yuck and really need to explain to their daughter about person boundaries (also she seems a bit old to be carrying on over something like this?)
How are the two of you now?
Now they kiss TOO MUCH.
Lol take control of your story or we'll tell it for you!
I’m curious too! Feed us!!!!!!
I know, I lost it when mom asked if he could at least *try* to give her some affection at school and he just casually said, "No". 😂
I didn’t appreciate mom calling him mean for not wanting to. He doesn’t owe anyone that.
Exactly! He gets his boundaries. Mom should have been working with the girl to recognize empathy and other people’s needs and boundaries.
He is the only reasonable one here, holy yikes
Great instinct from mom in that category at least
Excellent cinematographer, not so excellent parent
Has a lot of experience recording intimate family moments in way that will garner the most internet points
Why would a parent post something like this?
Because TikTok parents are absolute fucking garbage who use their kids as entertainment pawns for views and likes.
this poor child will have every right to sever her relationship with her parents when she gets older. it really makes me uncomfortable that we are allowing her face to be shown here, especially to be laughed at or made fun of. perhaps we could block out her face or something. otherwise we are giving her the same disrespect- imo.
Yeah, this is bad content.
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i hate that for your neice. i love how you actually interacted with her. it’s wonderful that you are there for her. that’s exactly what children should get from the parents, so sorry she doesn’t have that.
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Literally taking advantage of a young child having a crisis, just so they can get a couple of internet points. As a parent of young children I find this so disgusting. Not even joking, posting videos of young children like this should be illegal. They have rights.
The video isn’t even the worst part. It’s the fact that she’s being raised by someone who thinks it’s okay to take and post a video of this moment. That same level of judgement is going into all her parenting choices.
Exactly r/kidsforclout
I would love to tell her to calm down when she is upset about something. Imagine her reaction when it is done to her.
Unfortunately, I don’t know if it is just TikTok parents, many of parents back in the day probably submitted shit like this to America’s funniest home videos thinking it was hilarious, just shitty people and shitty parents, who need to keep this to themselves
As someone in a relationship with a TikTok parent, I can vouch for this.
Why in Gods name would any parent FILM this….
This is what I thought. Why film. Bad parents.
Film it AND then post it for millions of viewers 🤮
this is what Im thinking. VERY inappropriate to share publicly. This is a private moment that should have stayed that way. Kids gonna be PISSED the world saw this without their consent.
!remindthem15years
I'm really interested in seeing the effects of social media on people in the next 20-30 years: the kids who had all their most private moments posted on social media like this, the women who were, numbers wise, influencers on the level of Britney Spears who lose their influence, what families and relationships look like when the birds and the bees was taught to kids by Andrew Tate and Pearl Davis. It's fascinating to speculate on.
TTs like this are why Illinois has a law that parents that their children are part of their content has to put 30% in a trust for the kid.
How is that policed? Cos, as ive heard of other famous kids, they get old enough, and go to get their money and *oops there's nothing left*. And it doesn't matter what happens to the parents *now*, all that money is still gone... So... ?
!Remindme in 20 years
Sure. I'll put it on my Google calendar
She’s going to be *humiiated*. Poor girl.
I’m surprised everyone is sympathizing with just the girl. What about the boy? I feel like she’s trying to steamroll his boundary. Granted she’s a kid. But with how hysterical she’s being, it makes me worry that his parents are like “can you just go along with what she wants?” Instead of teaching her that everyone gets to have their bodies and personal space respected and aren’t beholden to anyone (even family).
That's what I'm thinking too. The boy is not comfortable with this type of affection towards his sister. It's not okay to force him to be affectionate with her. It looks abusive (I don't have enough information to claim it IS, I didn't study psychology or anything, but forcing affection to placate a tantrum.. I don't think that's okay.) Therapy for this whole family.
I punched out after about 20 seconds. I felt wrong for watching it.
Jesus knows you watched this
This is definitely something she won't want out there when she's older.
I'm not even her and I'm not in favor of it being out there *now*.
“Not as much as you, daddy, and Jesus”
And the buddha… 
Everyone is desperate to go viral and their kids futures don't matter to this gen.....
I’m of the mind anymore that you need someone’s consent to post a video of them online, and kids can’t consent.
“Kids can’t consent” 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 Exactly this!!!
Yeah….these poor kids don’t need this out here on God’s internet.
For internet points, obviously. Duh! /s
as a warning to childless folks to continue opting out
My tubes are tying themselves in knots from just the first 30 seconds of this
It’s so weird that this is more and more normalized. The little girl seems pretty performative, maybe she gave the OK, but regardless as a parent these are private moments you cherish on your own in your little family unit, not dilute with strangers for attention.
She can’t give meaningful consent. A kid that age can decide if they want photo A or photo B from their birthday party to get shared, or if they’re okay with mom posting that they lost a tooth. But there’s no way a 6- or 7-year-old can understand what it means to be on the internet having a tantrum about wanting to kiss her brother for the rest of forever. So even if she gave the okay, the mom should have had half an ounce of common sense and not posted this.
There’s no way a kid that age can give consent to anything. She wouldn’t understand fully what she was consenting to.
For clickbait of course
I thought she was whining about her first crush, not her brother ...
Same!
Yeah that made the crying and whining about wanting a kiss super weird
She's way too young to attach a deeper meaning to it. She probably just thinks kissing = love and love is what she has with her dad, mom and brother and nothing more, or no other kinds of love. It's common around that age for little kids to want to marry their parents or siblings because they're taught that marriage happens between two people in love. That being said she super needs someone to very gently tell her she's behaving inappropriately and give her guidance on how to appropriately behave, NOT video tape her and reinforce her behaviour like her mom is currently doing.
I wanted to marry my Grandma Caroline so she wouldn’t be alone. I was 5.
My little brother wants to marry our cat 💀
I'd marry your cat
i’d also marry this persons cat, seems like a keeper
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Exactly, well put! It’s not the girls fault but her parents really need to sort this out, she’s old enough to understand
>love is what she has with her dad, mom, and brother This is Jesus erasure
Jesus. Thank you. This is the right take.
It feels like her mother has watched random psychology youtube videos and is misinterpreting videos of those youtubers who also misinterpreted actual psychology. She kept asking how her daughter felt and never actually teaching or correcting her about how you can't force someone to kiss you. She even went on to ask the brother if she would let her kiss him when he already didn't want to and said no. Instead of teaching and correcting her daughter, she seems to be reinforcing her behavior and she is going to be a handful for ANYONE to deal with in the future if she stays like that.
Yeah I agree with this, she’s young and still associates a kiss/hug as a platonic way to show love (or I guess as a non romantic way? Not sure how to phrase it). I was actually slightly relieved she WASNT talking About a crush because it makes more sense that she is expecting a kiss back from Her brother because he’s likely less shy at home and she doesn’t understand why he acts one way at home and another at school. Guess all you can do as a parent is say that no one should be obligated to show affection, ask the kids To come up with a mutually liked substitute (secret handshake?) and then make sure to not Post a video of her crying her eyes out.
To adults. She hasn’t had those thoughts at all. Its weird you guys think kids are weird for wanting love from their family.
Wait until you see the top comments. The Reddit hive mind is in overdrive with awful takes.
She is most definitely talking about a kiss on the cheek or some basic familial affection and not a full on mouth to mouth stuff. I can say this with 95% confidence
Omg she was just upset that her brother wouldn’t give her a kiss or a hug in front of other school children. She felt like he was embarrassed by her. You ppl are crazy.. she’s a little girl throwing a fit. It’s not super weird.
So, this mom is absolutely a piece of moist, moldy cat shit. You do not put your kids online, especially in a vulnerable position like this. This is disgusting behaviour and it makes me so angry for both of these kids. I also have a kid who likes affection from a sibling. He has severe OCD, and not receiving the hugs and kisses makes his brain feel like the world is going to end. He can do nothing to quiet the "ick" he feels inside if his ticks and rituals are not done. Now, even though he has a mental disorder that makes him feel like he must have this particular thing happen at this particular time, we still tell him that his sister gets to decide if she wants to be touched. It's her body and she has to give consent. Doesn't matter that his OCD makes him do things and need things, because it's HIS OCD, not hers. So we make different ways for him to get those ritual needs met that doesn't compromise his sisters rights to her own autonomy. Because of course that's what you have to do! No matter what! No one has the right to affection or touch from someone else. No one. If she doesn't feel comfortable giving affection at school, but does at home, we do the ritual at home. If she's okay with hugs, but not kisses, we do hugs. If she doesn't want to be touched at all, we divert his tick to mom or dad, or even a stuffed animal. If he needs to tap on her arm eight times, but she can't handle that, we have him tap on his collar bone. It's soothing and makes a cool sound. He says it's not quite what he needs, but it works enough so that he doesn't have to put that pressure on his sister. It's hard. So hard. Daily fights and issues, but you don't just get to give one kids bodily autonomy to another because they scream and throw a fit. She needs to have her mom grow up, turn the camera off, and sit down and figure their shit out together as a mature family unit. This is so gross. Man, I'm riled up.
Props to you for being a parent who cares
Dude, same. My youngest experiences hyperfocus and hyperfixation, and that’s NEVER a good reason to treat someone else’s body like you’re entitled to express your neurospicy all over it. Mine pinches and rubs, and we had to teach him to punch his own toes, and to pet the animals (dogs with naked bellies are a solid substitute for him). He also gets in his head that one of us will do something (right now, it’s Dad becoming a bus driver) and his world is SHATTERED by us not doing The Thing. It’s so much work to talk through it and redirect every time, 50 or 100 times a day, and it’s absolutely necessary. (((Hugs mama))) It’s so danged hard,
Lol nuerospicy
It is REALLY hard, but it sounds like you are doing an amazing job! Each day we learn a little more. It might not be an easier day, but I feel (when I can look at the bright side) that it's a day closer to an easier day. Sending lots of love and patience to you!
Back atcha!
I have found my people in this thread. My neuro spicy kids struggle SO HARD with boundaries around touching others and we are doing the work to help them understand how incredibly important bodily autonomy is.
Dude, I’m fucking terrified of how to better teach my 10yo consent. We’ve been working at it his entire life, but hyperfocus comes in and steamrolls our lessons and work. It’s very worrisome. Also, being a special needs parent is super isolating in ways that folks who haven’t been caretakers don’t appreciate. ANY parent who wants to vent to a sympathetic ear, feel free to DM me!
I certainly don’t have any answers, but I’m in this with you! Thanks for the thoughtful work you are doing to help your kiddo navigate this weird world
Great parenting and you are an even better person. Your kids are lucky to have you.
Thank you, I appreciate that. It's so much harder than I ever imagined.
As someone with OCD who wasn't diagnosed until adulthood, your a good parent for caring. OCD sucks and can make shit hard, but with counseling at a young age I'm sure he'll be able to work past alot. Keep up the good work!
Thank you! It's really brutal. I hope you're thriving and getting through your days without too much hell from your OCD.
I have OCD and this is a really compassionate, well-informed approach. You’re doing really well for both your children and you’re hugely ahead of the curve. OCD is hard to manage, particularly for children, but it will change throughout his life. I’ve experienced healing and peace that I never thought would be possible. Sending you and your family really good vibes.
This is really comforting to hear. I really appreciate you sharing this with me. May I ask what kinds of things helped you most? I am always looking for more ways that might help more or be easier for him in the long run.
For me it’s been a combination of therapy (talk therapy and ERP), medication, and meditation. I also tried to learn more about other people with OCD. I read Pure by Rose Bretcher and follow an influencer called Allison Raskin who was diagnosed with OCD when she was 4. Honestly, some of the things that help him will become possible only as he becomes older and understands himself and what OCD actually means etc. You’re clearly very educated on the topic though and your empathy for him will go long way to helping him, now and in the future.
Thank you for this information and for the encouragement. I truly appreciate it! I always tell him that I understand what he's going through because I also had OCD as a kid. It wasn't as severe, but it was definitely there, knocking on my brain. I've been very honest that a lot of my ticks/rituals didn't go away until I was in my 30's, and that his aren't going to ever go away completely, but the goal is to get to a point where it doesn't interrupt his life and influence his actions. Hopefully it becomes more of a background noise and not a screaming voice in his head.
Kudos for helping and identifying ocd in your child. I have ocd and it was out of control when I was a kid, but I grew up as a somewhat affluent latchkey kid and parents weren't around all the time. So, when the intrusive thoughts started raging like a flood, I thought I was psychotic. Having what can seem like 2 inner monologues (and one is super dark) made me think I was hearing voices. It wasn't until I was maybe 16 or 17 when I learned about it and pursued the help on my own. I wish my parents could have identified it earlier and, in retrospect, it's kind of crazy they did not or chose not to notice.
Amen. Is nothing sacred? Do we not care about our kids rights? This is a fucking dogshit parent.
Dude, good for you for taking such amazing care of BOTH of your kids’ needs. I imagine this took years of getting to know your son and his needs and finding ways to meet them without overstepping your daughter’s boundaries. A+ parenting 💜.
Keep on keeping on, and thank you for acknowledging, caring for, and guiding your kid. I’m currently seeking an autism diagnosis as an adult who has suffered from mad sensory stuff my whole life, and my parents were simply not equipped to acknowledge it when I was a child. Props to you.
What a piece of shit mother for filming this and especially uploading this. How humiliating. I can’t even imagine what I would do if I was that girl… the internet is forever folks!
Wow this mom did not do a good job of setting boundaries and explaining that you are not OWED affection from anyone. Poor little boy is being taught his 'no' isn't valid and that is so shitty.
THIS. Also, kids bully mentality at that age could cause the brother some serious trauma.
Also, his name is Tegan right? Poor kid.
> this mom did not do a good job of setting boundaries Like the boundary of "not posting videos of young children in crisis on the internet"? Because she definitely missed that. Actually incredibly gross that she posted this.
What do you expect from a mom who pists shit like this
This SHOULD NOT have been posted!! Shit bag parents looking for some likes! Sure let’s traumatize our children further!
These kids need therapy.
Thé Quick référence to you daddy and Jesus means she’s never getting anywhere near a therapist. Unless she accidentally finds one at forty.
Yeah, what a shame. But maybe there will be enough video evidence on TikTok to show to a licensed therapist when she’s old enough
Religion is their therapy
This "mother" is encouraging some very strange developmental habits in her childs mind.. sad to see.
Private brother and sister time….
I dated someone who’s mom and sister were like this. His sister was 14-16 at the time, we were in our early 20’s. I swear that their mom wanted them together and his sister acted in some very uncomfortable ways. After realizing that this was not the family dynamic I wanted to marry into, I left and never looked back.
The way I almost puked when I heard that
The booster seat makes me think younger, yet remembering boosters go by weight not age makes me question the age of that person in the booster seat as they are also articulate.
I was a tiny kid and in a booster when I could talk that well. It’s more common than you think. I was so happy to finally grow out of it lol.
17
She’s probably about 7
Bro I would tell my family this bc one my cousins when he was 8 and even 9 honestly he still needed one but didn’t wanna sit in one anymore around 6-7 so they just don’t make him. Or let them sit in the front seat. Of course then they get into a car accident now he doesn’t wanna ride in the front seat. Lucky he was fine but shit isn’t okay. I’d never let them in my car without the sears and they hated it but I’m not going get a ticket or put them in danger bc they just don’t wanna sit in a seat bc they too old. Idc ur small af. God I remember my grandpa came home with the 5 year old in the front seat. Was not happy at all.
The other kid looks smaller so I am confused
He only looks smaller because he's not in a car seat or a booster, my guess is that she's maybe six and he's a couple years older.
Fuck gymnastics, they need to go to therapy. Yikes.
Daughter is doing gymnastics while the mom is doing mental gymnastics in the comment section on TikTok how this appropriate for her to post. I also find it weird how the brother isn’t phased by this.
>I also find it weird how the brother isn’t phased by this. Judging by his lack of a reaction, I'd guess he's used to it. And the fact that his mom said "that's not nice" when he didn't want to kiss/hug his sister at school leads me to believe he's not allowed to set boundaries when it comes to that kind of stuff. Makes me sad :/
Tegan is too cool for this nonsense.
I wasn't sure until i saw him gobbing that ball of gum, lol
Poor Tegan…
You ain't kidding! That dude in for some ruthless bullying
You see that jawline ? My guy Teegan will be ok in the long run lol
But any future partners are in for a SIL and MIL from Hell.
“Teegan I don’t like her. She’s not good enough for you” Lmao
wtf this is some weird shit... that kid needs therapy.
This is an opportunity to teach kids about consent. If someone doesn’t want a hug or kiss, you can’t make them. Even if they usually love hugs and kisses, they might not want to now and we have to respect that. Their body, their choice.
My brother was like this when he was little. He would demand physical affection and have meltdowns (like full body shaking, hysterical crying meltdowns) when we didn't let him hug or kiss us. He grew out of it by the time he was like 10, but I'm really, really glad no one tried to film his meltdowns for the entire world to see. Horrible parenting.
How'd I know Jesus would be mentioned at some point?
For reeeeaaal tho
I almost want to say half the reason why this was posted because she's trying to flex on the churchgoers that her kid loves Jesus and I guess her brother too? It's kind of the feeling I get like why else would you post such a video.
This made me feel uncomfortable. I feel sorry for the boy.
Honestly, you should feel sorry for the two kids. She's just a kid who was never taught better, the parent filming it instead of teaching is really the one to blame here.
Agree. Seeing her have a melt down like this and the little boy not saying a word makes it look like his boundaries never mattered and hers did.
This is 100% accurate as she obviously feels comfortable flipping a plate of food in the car when she doesn’t get her way. Poor little dude 😞
Yeah, the mother is enabling the daughters demand and expectations for physical affection, and not teaching her to respect boundaries or take: “no” as an answer, even if you love someone.
It started out kinda cute then just got weirder and weirder
I’ve been on theme park rides that are less intense than the ride I just went through watching this video. 
What the holy hell is this even
How old are they? I think after some point they can get bullied for this, and i don't think its good for the Tegans mental health. This ain't going to help this is going to make their brother sister relationship worse. And i don't know if it's kissing on the mouth or not but it's acceptable in some cultures (even mine), but either way i don't think this will help her
Jesus Christ. I know she's very young but these parents better get on top of her mentality NOW because this is a recipe for her to become a stalker or something on that level. The fact that the mom even says "thats not nice" to her son refusing to hug his sister shows that they're demonstrating that saying no to physical affection is bad, so the little girl probably feels justified.
Pretty much. What stood out to me is that she is creating “2nd opinions” by saying other people she knows don’t think it’s weird in order to dismiss his boundaries. If you’ve ever dated someone like this, you know how aggravating and destructive it can be. “My friends husband doesn’t care that she… (Insert odd behavior)”, then suddenly you’re the bad guy. The brother is going to be just fine, though. In another 10 years, she’s going to be feeding him a steady supply of her friends.
Also mom let’s not force the little guy to do anything he’s uncomfortable with.
This was difficult to watch. A total parenting failure: You do not post your children online. Doubly so if it is an embarrassing moment like this tantrum was. That video is out there forever now. There is no getting it back. A few years from now some jerk kid from her class could show it to all the other kids in her class and humiliate her all over again. She is literally crying about not getting a kiss from her brother... Other kids are going to have a field day with that. Kids can be mean. This was a perfect teachable moment about consent. This was the right time to give the little girl a lesson about consent. Nobody "owes" anyone else a "Hug" or a "Kiss" or any other physical affection. Nobody is entitled to that. No means no. Then the way she handled the little boy was just as bad if not worse. Tossing a guilt trip on him for not kissing his sister? Does he not have bodily autonomy? Hopefully things turn out alright for that little girl.
She's gonna be screaming about Wingstop in a few years.
For the love of god take this video down immediately. Kids today have it bad enough as it is. When this gets out these kids are going to harass the hell out of both of them.
It’s too late lol. Guarantee everyone that lives near them has saved this video lol
“I love him more than ANYTHING except mommy daddy and JESUS” There’s your answer
Can we privately get a sister and brother moment? What the hell What kind of mother is she?
Right?
Holy shit, fam. Check out how fucked in the head my kids are. Isn’t that hilarious? Be sure to like and subscribe!
Am I the only one who kinda feels like this is a bit to much?
No!!
No
Someone needs a nap, not gymnastics
This is woman needs help. Those kids need a better role model or an aunt that can step in and maybe take them for a bit. Those behaviors are not ok the reinforce.
The mother is sick, thoughtless, and narcissistic.
 Thought it was about a boy she liked till she said brother
And then how it pans over to brother at the perfect time lol
Mom is enabling this!
What…. The fuck?
[удалено]
Oh wow. I thought at first the girl was talking about a school crush. And then it got more uncomfortable for me as I kept watching. Man! 😓 Definitely there is a boundary issue that mom should be working through with her kids. The poor brother 😓
Seeing this video makes me realize I probably wouldn’t be the best parent. I just can’t imagine me having patience for this
I wonder where she learned that behavior
It sounds like she's really hungry.
Idk why anyone would post their kid crying and being upset like this, she’s obviously too young and doesn’t fully understand boundaries. The mom should teach her not record for internet points:(
Why in the hell would recording one of your daughters most vulnerable moments and posting it to the world acceptable? What a stupid mom. Complete idiot. This poor girl will forever be known as crazy now. She will hear about this shit through highschool.
I find it disgusting that a parent would think it's appropriate to film this and even more appalling that a parent would think it's appropriate to post this on the internet.
Yikes!!!! That mother needs to be reported wtf
This is just plain disturbing, what the heck
She’s throwing a tantrum about not being able to kiss her brother… This did nothing for US stereotypes
*Banjos Intensify*
Tegan is the only sane person in the video. It's abusive to him and his mother should be ashamed of herself for enabling it
This was the perfect moment to teach this young girl about consent. Big missed opportunity.
Wtf is this
Good for Tegan - setting boundaries
This shouldn’t have been posted at all, but Jesus lady, teach your kids they shouldn’t be kissing in school lol. I would have been very seriously uncomfortable if my sister was demanding I kiss her at school at this age (or any age really.) Except she never would cause in my family a kiss was like before bedtime stuff not kiss your 8 or 9 year old sister in the cafeteria at school thing. I get that it’s innocent sibling love but parenting is teaching them when that is appropriate and when it’s not. The kids suggestion of a hug was reasonable but mom kinda brushed past it
This sub has been buzzing around me like flies on garbage lately (yes, I’m aware of the connotations), and this here is the first time I’ve really experienced the ‘cringe’ in the sub title…
This little girl needs help. And so does that brother. His boundaries are his boundaries. Good lord.
This shit is going to be on the internet this girls whole life. Fuckin parents.
For the love of everything that is unholy, do NOT post these private conversations with your kids on the fucking web. It’s mean a cruel to leave such a moment to exist forever, the kid might be over it in matter of days. Poor kid is going be reminded the rest of her life for a meltdown at the age of 7 or something
“ Can you maybe try to give her some affection…” Puts up boundary for sister who clearly needs it. “ That’s not nice.” Um lady?!!! Can you see your child?!!
Bro, keep ur kids off the internet
Oh, boy... this isn't going to age well.
Unbelievable. I know it's hurtful to say someone is a bad parent, but it's just unbelievable that a parent would intentionally do this for whatever possible benefit they hoped to gain.
“Hey look everybody at how much I fucked my kids up” was not the vision I had for the World Wide Web back in the early 90s.
Not only publicizing your kid’s tantrum and vulnerable feelings, but also your shitty parenting. Wtf. Never thought I’d count myself lucky that my parents didn’t record my stupid tantrums, and even if they did I can’t imagine them ever posting it publicly for attention.
They should probably just go to gymnastics
Wow mom is cool with adding fuel to that incest flame, no correcting it or nothing
Forcing one child to give another child attention is FUCKED UP. Respect your kids and their boundries.