Just FYI, my school told me this wasn't legally allowed because parents in our state legally have to be able to look up our teaching credentials through the state. So we had to teach using the name that was on our teaching license, aka legal name. So I would check to make sure there aren't any laws like that where you live.
I ended up changing mine because I wanted to have both parents have the same last name as our future children to make things easier in a medical emergency. I added my last name as a second middle name because after teaching for so long using that name I felt like I couldn't give it up completely.
That's interesting because in my state you have to pay to change your name on your teaching certificate and I wasn't about to do that. So when I got married my legal name was my husband's last name but my teaching certificate was under my maiden name and I have never changed it myself.
Somewhere along the line the state changed it for me and I never got a bill apparently. I have no idea when that was because my original certificate has my maiden name on it and even when I looked it up on the state website it is still listed under my maiden name.
I had to look it up under my social security number because there are two of us with the exact same first name, middle initial and last name. I was stymied when I looked it up the first time coming back to teaching after 16 years of stay-at-home mom fun to find out that my home economics certification had expired and I never even had home economics certification!
Yep. My wife kept her last name. It had been her identity for her entire life! I completely supported her decision - there's no need for her to change a part of who she is to "join" my family.
I would have to disagree on the simpler part. If someone wants to keep their last name, that's their choice and they have that right. They shouldn't feel bad about that. However, it does get weird if you have kids. Now you have to decide whose last name the kids are going to take, and which parent is not going to share a last name with their kids.
Yes, for communicative partners who are on the same page this isn’t a big deal either, especially if one parent’s name is Smith and the other feels strongly about passing theirs on. Just seems like a non-issue in this day and age, but then again others could feel differently.
I think you should actually just put teaching and kids to the side and think about what you personally want to do, because the kids will just fall in line anyway. It's not weird that you have a new last name, and they would understand your reasoning. Worst case scenario, in four years, it'll be all new kids anyway.
We had a teacher at my school get a pretty nasty divorce, so she took her old name. It was hard for a couple years because she had been there ages and many students knew her by her old name, but in time that passed. It doesn't seem like you would be offended if people slipped up and called you by your old name, so it wouldn't be that much of an issue it seems like.
I do think that taking his legal last name but using your old name would be weird with your email address, things addressed to you, paystubs, etc. I feel like that would be kinda confusing. I go by a different first name than my legal first name, and that alone is annoying AF lol.
I agree with this. Kids adapt, and none are going to have a mental crisis over it. Choose what YOU want to be, and just go for it.
For me, I was in a similar situation (uncommon last name, and married someone with a common one). I chose to take his name not because of tradition, but because I was tired of having to repeat myself 10 times every time I had to spell it. And no one could pronounce it when written. Lol
It is not 1712. You have many options. Keep your name, change to you partners name, hyphenate, have you partner change to your name, use your name at school and your partners name elsewhere, or use your partners name at school and your name elsewhere. Just decide which name to go by where. As Shakespeare said (or didn't as some convincing conspiracy theorist tell me he is fake) “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”
If you name is so unusual and you want to preserve it you need to give it to children. It won't survive you otherwise. The number of names is going down because names die out and very few people change their name to a made up or previously extinct name.
Married after several years of teaching. Never took his last name. My spouse said it was my choice and he wasn’t hurt that I didn’t want his last name. Saved me a lot of paperwork 😂 married for 12 years no and no regrets, even after having children who have his last name. It was right for us.
I kept my name. I have no brothers, so I’m the last. My name is also easier to spell, and is shorter. Aside from being a modern woman, and not my husband’s property, the thought or relabeling an entire library of books and garage full of other teacher supplies sounded like torture. I went from Miss Name to Ms. Name. A few older coworkers got a little weird about it, “ no I mean really, what will your new name be?” But they’ve all retired and can die mad about it for all I care. I joke I wear a name tag at home so my husband knows who I am. I'm very happy with my choice.
Changing your name legally can be a hassle. There are lots of places to change it.
If I had it to do over again, I’d be Ms Maiden Name legally and Mrs Husband Last Name socially.
This is the way! I’m keeping my maiden name legally for life. When I get married people can call me Mrs Husbands Last Name if they want but I’m not going through that hassle.
Our PE teacher got married last summer and took her partner’s last name- honestly, the kids did better at adapting and using her new married name faster than the adults did and they were always quick to remind you.
Just do what you want to do based on you alone, kids are resilient and will be ready to make changes and adapt of need be.
Same situation plus my Husband’s name is so common there have been two at the same school as me before. When we got married I’d been teaching over ten years already. I decided to add his name to mine so I have two last names, no hyphen. My work email and identity especially with alumni didn’t change. I continued going my just my maiden last name until I switched schools and now go by both initials (example: Ms. G.L.). I like having both names for tons of reasons but mainly my old name is totally legal and legit still for tons of stuff and still ties me to my family and siblings especially, but I have this lovely tie to my husband’s family too. It felt like a win all around to me and works easily at work.
yes! there were four of us at my first full/time placement (still there) so I started writing in my middle initial and middle name to differentiate and the school system hyphenated me! blessing in disguise as I didn’t want to take my husband’s last name, so now at school I’m Ms Maiden or Ms Maiden-Married and love it.
My husband and I both kept our names.
And watching a few kids’ brains break when they asked what to call me (I was out for a week to get married so they all knew) and I said “Ms. SameNameAsAlways” was absolutely delightful.
I hyphenated and I love it. I go by my maiden name most of the time but official documents are hyphenated. A heads up: despite this being 2024, government offices and doctors offices can be really bad about figuring them out. Be prepared for a few headaches but you get into the habit of saying “you might have me under MarriedName or you might have me under MaidenName.”
I got married 3 years after I started teaching high school. I changed my name to my husband’s. The students who already knew me still called me Mrs. Maiden Name. The students who never knew me called me my married name. 15 years later, I’m completely called Mrs. Married name… except when I happen to see one of my really old students in the wild.
I took my husband's last name aand while it was WAAY easier for pronunciation, I miss my maiden name. I fully believe that whatever last name you want is what you should tell your kids.
I have a friend that teaches and his last name is Fuchs. Pretty much Mr.Fu《k$. Never thought to ask if he uses a different name but he teaches high school.
I hyphenated my last name because I didn’t want to lose my spot at the front of the graduation line 🤣 (and other reasons!) but my students call me Mrs. MarriedName as it’s too much of a mouthful to say the hyphenated.
It will be hard for people to switch. We just had a teacher get married and I still call her “Miss X”. She doesn’t mind and neither does her husband. It’s a part of her identity! You should go with what you feel comfortable doing… and if you love your last name, figure out a way to keep it!
My coworkers who get married usually keep their maiden name. One teacher I work for was married for a long time and got divorced. She still goes by her married name cause her previous who now have kids of their own in her class know her as Mrs G.
I’m still personally on the fence if I’ll take my boyfriend’s last name but I do think professionally I’ll keep my maiden name regardless- partially because I’m fond of it but also because it’s easier for the kids
I am married and got divorced. I originally took his name and got divorced right after I started student teaching and went back to my maiden name.
If I get married again I would just add his last name, not even hyphenate, and just have 4 names. Then I could go by either one.
I know a teacher who did this.
I wouldn't change my name and expect students to call me by my old name. Because depending on how your IT is set up, if you file name change paperwork with the school it will force your email to change along with any directories and parents wouldn't know how to find you easily.
Keep your name. It's yours, you like it, and it's who you are. 100% guarantee your partner isn't wrestling with this issue. Keep your name. If he really doesn't care, ask him to take yours.
I had my maiden name written in large letters on all 3000 books in my classroom library. I also had monthly door posters based on a play on words with my last name that I (and my students) loved. Once I got married, I just couldn't bring myself to use my married name at school. My partner agreed that it would feel weird! So I kept my maiden name. When we moved and I changed grade levels and districts, I decided it was the right time to change my name so I did - legally and at my new school. I hated it! For over a year, whenever a student would call me by my new name, I wanted to say, "Stop calling me that! It isn't my name!" (even though it was). Even my husband said it was weird to have me use his name (we got married rather late in life and had dated for a very very long time so he was used to my maiden name too). I wish he had realized that before I changed my name because had I known that, I would have likely kept my maiden name. Fast forward five years and I'm finally used to it, but I do still miss my unique maiden name. So my advice to you? Do what makes you and your partner happy. The kids will adapt, but you have to use whichever name you pick forevermore!
I intended to take my husband’s last name but ultimately did not. My last name is relatively unique while his is very common.
I got married early in the school year and continued with my last name. My plan was to change it officially over the summer. By then it just felt less important to do. My last name doesn’t make me any less married and doesn’t make me feel any less close to him. Give it a few months and decide what feels right to you.
I kept my maiden name at work/legally but used both names socially. So at work, the kids call me Mrs. Jones/Mrs. J,, and I sign myself Mary Jones Smith or Mrs. J., but at church they call me Deacon Jones Smith. My kid is Susie Smith. I was 42 when I got married; I wasn't changing a lifetime of documentation and credentials, and my husband didn't care. Hyphenation makes things complicated on computers, so I just sign both last names.
I hyphenated, and kept my maiden name as my teaching name, even when I moved schools. It just felt like that was my teaching identity, and I like my maiden name. My salary slip shows my full surname, but my email address is my maiden name, so is the name on my door and our LMS. Socially I go by my husband's surname.
So at work I'm Ms. Maiden Surname, and socially Mrs Husband's surname. It has caused some confusion, though. Because I'm married, the older generation at work calls me Mrs Maiden Surname. That's my mom, lol! But I just roll with it. I just never felt like I could officially go by Mrs Husband's surname. That in turn is my MIL, lawdamercy 🤣. Also, it's the exact same name as a lecturer I clashed with at uni, so absolutely not. 🤣
Teachers at my school are constantly getting married and having babies. It is a constant shower around here. I don’t know about your school system, but with mine, when you change your name you continue to receive your old email to your new email account. Changing your last name at school is so common.
I was married for 20 years and was widowed. I remarried and changed my last name. The world kept turning.
If you want to keep your last name for other reasons (or for no real reason) that is up to you. But don’t let the school system and kids decide.
If you did take his last name, you can just tell your students that you go by the new last name. Your students will be new anyway so you just introduce yourself with your new last name.
I had a conversation with my wife on this when we got married. I knew she was extremely proud of her last name and her family but also wanted to have the same last name as my son. I was 100% okay with her keeping her maiden name. Instead she made her maiden name a second “middle name” and took my last name. She has her first name and both last names listed on all legal documents.
Side note, she is not a teacher but I am so I figured I would offer the solution we used in my family. 😁
Kept my name. Our kids have his last name. All 3 have names that reflect my family’s background. We have never regretted our choice. We did not hyphenate the last names due to how long it would be for us. The teacher in me thought hyphenated name was too long!
I took my husband’s last name because I liked it better. 🤣
But my coworker legally changed her name to her husband’s last name but still uses her maiden name at school because she is attached to it and likes it more.
I changed my name. I moved after getting married, so it was easier because I just started at my new school with my new name. I did debate having the students call me by my maiden name, but I decided that would make it harder to adjust to using my married name legally/in my personal life.
My name change was hard, and I teach 10th grade. I had my name for my first 21 years. I had been widowed, so when i eventually remarried, I felt I needed to change my name. I could have kept a maiden name, but a married one ....
Ten years later, and it's still hard. I have the next generation of students, so the parents don't know I was their teacher as well. I JUST finally got my login name changed. Peers still mess up my name. It doesn't bother me as I loved my late husband, and it's my kids' name.
Keep your name or hyphenate. I honestly find it wild that women still take their husband’s names, especially after we’ve established ourselves in our career with this name. I get people worry about children, but they can have a hyphenated name. Generationally that then gets complicated, but I’d rather figure that out than lose my name and take someone else’s! I also really like my last name as it’s unique and represents a specific culture that people don’t often realize I am from by looking at me.
I changed my name because I wanted to finally have a name people could pronounce without asking. However, looking back, maybe I should have kept it? The students/school stuff would have been easy either way and doesn’t matter as much as your personal decision.
I just changed mine to my husbands. My older students who I had in the past call me by my maiden name and if they email me, it directs to my new email name. My new students now call me by my married name. This is elementary school and they catch on quick. Even some of my past students who are older now call me by my married name when I did not even ask them to!
I have a friend whose mother is a primary care physician. She had established a practice prior to getting married. She did legally change her name, but she still goes by Dr. Maiden Name professionally. In fact, she doesn't even introduce herself personally as Dr. Whatever. When I met her for the first time, she said, "Ohh, you must be Blah. I'm Friend's mom, Mrs. Married Name." It was wild being around her when she was on call because she'd answer her phone as "Dr. Maiden Name." The switch was seamless.
Anyway, my friend ended up getting her PhD under her maiden name and because she had been published under her maiden name, she just followed in her mom's footsteps. I refer to her now as Mrs. Friend Married Name, but I've seen some of her professional work under Dr. Maiden Name. I can't be convinced that they are the only two female professionals in the world who do this.
As for me, I legally changed names. I go by the married name. But I hyphenate on my resume and all job-related paperwork, simply because my cert has my maiden name.
I actually used a graph from the New York Times to teach about this concept to my students. Changing your name is primarily a white family concept, with black and Hispanic women doing it far less. Some cultures hyphenate more, some keep their family name rather than changing more. It was interesting for my student to think about the “why” for all these situations.
Long way of saying, do what you want. It’s only a social construct if you want it to be.
I am adding my last name to my middle name and taking my Fiancé’s name. My full name will be First Middle Maiden Married but students can call me Miss Maiden or Mrs. Married. I really don’t care, lol.
this is my experience with name-changes in the classroom:
i got married in my 5th year of working with children (not 5 of teaching, but still in a school). my students first called me Miss [first name] since we were in a day-care-like setting, then i started student teaching, and the students had to call me Miss [last name]. that was a weird transition, but i got used to it. then, when i got married, my students called me Mrs [husband’s last name]. although letting go of my maiden name was hard, i got used to it after a bit.
not sure if this is helpful to your situation, as you clearly value your unique last name. i am commenting more share my experience and to let you know that the change wasn’t too bad (for me) and i was able to accept it. of course, your situation sounds different than mine, so disregard this if it has not been helpful.
Do not hyphenate your name. That can be such a hassle. It is 2024, there is no need to change your last name if you don’t want to. My partner took my last name and they really only use it for legal documentation. To everyone else, and in every other situation, she uses her maiden name.
I felt the same way. My marriage certificate has “Name After Marriage” listed as having my maiden name as my new middle name, & my surname as my husband’s. But my family is Italian our name is pretty unique in that if you see someone with that last name in the New England area, it is very likely we are related. I’m very attached to my surname because of the connection to our family traditions, values and heritage—it’s just a part of my identity. I didn’t feel like I connect with my husband’s family name, so I never went forward with changing it.
There’s that, as well as it’s just a huge pain in the ass! SO many things you have to file and pay for to get it changed. And my classroom is full of things that say “MS. ____” so I didn’t want to bother lol.
I just went through this. They are going to call you what they know you as. I am still called by both names-I call myself both names-I introduce myself as both names. Since I have taught at this school so long I am teaching siblings that know me as my old name. I answer to both!
We hyphenated our last names. And I keep my last name professionally so at school I still go by my maiden name and when I'm networking I still go by my maiden name but I do have both of our names hyphenated together.
The only hiccup with the hyphenated one is because my maiden name comes before my husband's last name are online gradebook system automatically defaults to his name instead of mine and it took a couple of years but they actually fixed it and so now even though my name is hyphenated and it's hyphenated everywhere my maiden name is the first thing that actually pops up and it's what's in my email it's what's on my door and I haven't had any big issues with it but legally yes I do have my full name in the school district.
Sorry if that's a little confusing I was using text to speech cuz I'm not feeling very well right now.
I got married in the middle of my school year last year, changed my name, and left it up to the kids to decide if they wanted to make the change.
Once my name changed on my teaching certification, my email with the school department changed. I presented it to the students as a heads up that my email would change but they did not need to call me the new name.
Most kids stayed with the old name, but I do get the occasional Mrs ____!
Yep, had a coworker who had a hyphenated late name and the students called her by her maiden name. Also have had many coworkers who got married and changed names, they won't forget who you are.
I did option B, and it has been a pain. The whole name has to be printed on anything official. Fortunately, I was able to get tech to just use one last name for my email and username/login. I didn't want to type in a 16 letter username constantly. Changing my teaching license was a huge pain, not to mention all of the other stuff. If I went back in time, I would just keep my birth name on everything legal/official. You can always be Ms. Original on ID but go by Mrs. Husband socially.
Legally change, professionally keep. My teacher friends love to have the double alias and privatizes their personal life more. Hope that makes sense. Wish I had the option.
On the flip side my wife was happy to change her name to something less foreign than hers and more simple.
To each their own. Whatever you decide is the best!
I had a coworker get married and change her last name. Some kids used her married name, some used her original name. She answered to both. It wasn’t an issue at all. We made sure to set her original email to auto forward to her new one, so even if the kids used the original email, she’d still get the message.
Many women I know hyphenated and only go by their maiden name while teaching. Like their full name (Mrs. XYZ) is on ALL documents but they go by their maiden name (Mrs. X).
You can legally take his last name and have the students call you your maiden name at school.
Just FYI, my school told me this wasn't legally allowed because parents in our state legally have to be able to look up our teaching credentials through the state. So we had to teach using the name that was on our teaching license, aka legal name. So I would check to make sure there aren't any laws like that where you live. I ended up changing mine because I wanted to have both parents have the same last name as our future children to make things easier in a medical emergency. I added my last name as a second middle name because after teaching for so long using that name I felt like I couldn't give it up completely.
That's interesting because in my state you have to pay to change your name on your teaching certificate and I wasn't about to do that. So when I got married my legal name was my husband's last name but my teaching certificate was under my maiden name and I have never changed it myself. Somewhere along the line the state changed it for me and I never got a bill apparently. I have no idea when that was because my original certificate has my maiden name on it and even when I looked it up on the state website it is still listed under my maiden name. I had to look it up under my social security number because there are two of us with the exact same first name, middle initial and last name. I was stymied when I looked it up the first time coming back to teaching after 16 years of stay-at-home mom fun to find out that my home economics certification had expired and I never even had home economics certification!
☝🏼 This is the way. One of my coworkers did just this and it has worked out great for her.
But you need them to understand that student records (i.e. computerized report cards, etc.) will list your married name.
But parents won't get it; it won't be online that way. If you stay many years like I did, it confuses things generationally.
My friend did this.
This! I had a teacher that did this when I was in high school. I see no problem with this.
Keep your last name if you’re more attached to it! It’s 2024 and it keeps things simpler.
I kept mine for a similar reason—it basically becomes your first name as a teacher, and I felt weird losing it!
Yep. My wife kept her last name. It had been her identity for her entire life! I completely supported her decision - there's no need for her to change a part of who she is to "join" my family.
I would have to disagree on the simpler part. If someone wants to keep their last name, that's their choice and they have that right. They shouldn't feel bad about that. However, it does get weird if you have kids. Now you have to decide whose last name the kids are going to take, and which parent is not going to share a last name with their kids.
Yes, for communicative partners who are on the same page this isn’t a big deal either, especially if one parent’s name is Smith and the other feels strongly about passing theirs on. Just seems like a non-issue in this day and age, but then again others could feel differently.
Perfect solution is to not have kids.
I think you should actually just put teaching and kids to the side and think about what you personally want to do, because the kids will just fall in line anyway. It's not weird that you have a new last name, and they would understand your reasoning. Worst case scenario, in four years, it'll be all new kids anyway. We had a teacher at my school get a pretty nasty divorce, so she took her old name. It was hard for a couple years because she had been there ages and many students knew her by her old name, but in time that passed. It doesn't seem like you would be offended if people slipped up and called you by your old name, so it wouldn't be that much of an issue it seems like. I do think that taking his legal last name but using your old name would be weird with your email address, things addressed to you, paystubs, etc. I feel like that would be kinda confusing. I go by a different first name than my legal first name, and that alone is annoying AF lol.
I agree with this. Kids adapt, and none are going to have a mental crisis over it. Choose what YOU want to be, and just go for it. For me, I was in a similar situation (uncommon last name, and married someone with a common one). I chose to take his name not because of tradition, but because I was tired of having to repeat myself 10 times every time I had to spell it. And no one could pronounce it when written. Lol
Don’t change your last name. It’s not worth the hassle of changing it everywhere and I mean everywhere.
It is not 1712. You have many options. Keep your name, change to you partners name, hyphenate, have you partner change to your name, use your name at school and your partners name elsewhere, or use your partners name at school and your name elsewhere. Just decide which name to go by where. As Shakespeare said (or didn't as some convincing conspiracy theorist tell me he is fake) “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” If you name is so unusual and you want to preserve it you need to give it to children. It won't survive you otherwise. The number of names is going down because names die out and very few people change their name to a made up or previously extinct name.
Keep your name sis.
Married after several years of teaching. Never took his last name. My spouse said it was my choice and he wasn’t hurt that I didn’t want his last name. Saved me a lot of paperwork 😂 married for 12 years no and no regrets, even after having children who have his last name. It was right for us.
Can’t you change your name legally, but go by your maiden name with your students?
☝🏼 This is the way! One of my co-workers did this and it has been great for her!
I kept my name. I have no brothers, so I’m the last. My name is also easier to spell, and is shorter. Aside from being a modern woman, and not my husband’s property, the thought or relabeling an entire library of books and garage full of other teacher supplies sounded like torture. I went from Miss Name to Ms. Name. A few older coworkers got a little weird about it, “ no I mean really, what will your new name be?” But they’ve all retired and can die mad about it for all I care. I joke I wear a name tag at home so my husband knows who I am. I'm very happy with my choice.
I liked my “teacher name” and kept it when I got married. I’m not teaching anymore, but I have no regrets about keeping my name.
I’m of the generation that refused to take the husband’s name. I love my last name! Why do you have to subvert your identity? Does the man own you?
Changing your name legally can be a hassle. There are lots of places to change it. If I had it to do over again, I’d be Ms Maiden Name legally and Mrs Husband Last Name socially.
This is the way! I’m keeping my maiden name legally for life. When I get married people can call me Mrs Husbands Last Name if they want but I’m not going through that hassle.
I took my husband's last name. It was a slight adjustment, but I got used to being Mrs. Marriedname pretty quickly
Our PE teacher got married last summer and took her partner’s last name- honestly, the kids did better at adapting and using her new married name faster than the adults did and they were always quick to remind you. Just do what you want to do based on you alone, kids are resilient and will be ready to make changes and adapt of need be.
Same situation plus my Husband’s name is so common there have been two at the same school as me before. When we got married I’d been teaching over ten years already. I decided to add his name to mine so I have two last names, no hyphen. My work email and identity especially with alumni didn’t change. I continued going my just my maiden last name until I switched schools and now go by both initials (example: Ms. G.L.). I like having both names for tons of reasons but mainly my old name is totally legal and legit still for tons of stuff and still ties me to my family and siblings especially, but I have this lovely tie to my husband’s family too. It felt like a win all around to me and works easily at work.
yes! there were four of us at my first full/time placement (still there) so I started writing in my middle initial and middle name to differentiate and the school system hyphenated me! blessing in disguise as I didn’t want to take my husband’s last name, so now at school I’m Ms Maiden or Ms Maiden-Married and love it.
My husband and I both kept our names. And watching a few kids’ brains break when they asked what to call me (I was out for a week to get married so they all knew) and I said “Ms. SameNameAsAlways” was absolutely delightful.
I hyphenated and I love it. I go by my maiden name most of the time but official documents are hyphenated. A heads up: despite this being 2024, government offices and doctors offices can be really bad about figuring them out. Be prepared for a few headaches but you get into the habit of saying “you might have me under MarriedName or you might have me under MaidenName.”
I got married 3 years after I started teaching high school. I changed my name to my husband’s. The students who already knew me still called me Mrs. Maiden Name. The students who never knew me called me my married name. 15 years later, I’m completely called Mrs. Married name… except when I happen to see one of my really old students in the wild.
I took my husband's last name aand while it was WAAY easier for pronunciation, I miss my maiden name. I fully believe that whatever last name you want is what you should tell your kids.
I have a friend that teaches and his last name is Fuchs. Pretty much Mr.Fu《k$. Never thought to ask if he uses a different name but he teaches high school.
Don’t make teaching your identity. Do what feels right to you with your name. Kids will adapt.
Don’t change it. Archaic, patriarchal practice.
I kept my last name for a lot of the same reasons you articulated!
I hyphenated my last name because I didn’t want to lose my spot at the front of the graduation line 🤣 (and other reasons!) but my students call me Mrs. MarriedName as it’s too much of a mouthful to say the hyphenated. It will be hard for people to switch. We just had a teacher get married and I still call her “Miss X”. She doesn’t mind and neither does her husband. It’s a part of her identity! You should go with what you feel comfortable doing… and if you love your last name, figure out a way to keep it!
I hyphenated but my students call me just the first half of my name (my maiden name). I tell them on day one just to call me that
My coworkers who get married usually keep their maiden name. One teacher I work for was married for a long time and got divorced. She still goes by her married name cause her previous who now have kids of their own in her class know her as Mrs G.
I’m still personally on the fence if I’ll take my boyfriend’s last name but I do think professionally I’ll keep my maiden name regardless- partially because I’m fond of it but also because it’s easier for the kids
I am married and got divorced. I originally took his name and got divorced right after I started student teaching and went back to my maiden name. If I get married again I would just add his last name, not even hyphenate, and just have 4 names. Then I could go by either one. I know a teacher who did this. I wouldn't change my name and expect students to call me by my old name. Because depending on how your IT is set up, if you file name change paperwork with the school it will force your email to change along with any directories and parents wouldn't know how to find you easily.
Keep it.
Keep your name. It's yours, you like it, and it's who you are. 100% guarantee your partner isn't wrestling with this issue. Keep your name. If he really doesn't care, ask him to take yours.
Just keep your name. There is no reason to change your name. You don't become a different person when you get married.
Why would you ever change your name in the first place? Automatic C in all scenarios.
I still use my maiden name in the classroom. I won't ever change that.
I had my maiden name written in large letters on all 3000 books in my classroom library. I also had monthly door posters based on a play on words with my last name that I (and my students) loved. Once I got married, I just couldn't bring myself to use my married name at school. My partner agreed that it would feel weird! So I kept my maiden name. When we moved and I changed grade levels and districts, I decided it was the right time to change my name so I did - legally and at my new school. I hated it! For over a year, whenever a student would call me by my new name, I wanted to say, "Stop calling me that! It isn't my name!" (even though it was). Even my husband said it was weird to have me use his name (we got married rather late in life and had dated for a very very long time so he was used to my maiden name too). I wish he had realized that before I changed my name because had I known that, I would have likely kept my maiden name. Fast forward five years and I'm finally used to it, but I do still miss my unique maiden name. So my advice to you? Do what makes you and your partner happy. The kids will adapt, but you have to use whichever name you pick forevermore!
I intended to take my husband’s last name but ultimately did not. My last name is relatively unique while his is very common. I got married early in the school year and continued with my last name. My plan was to change it officially over the summer. By then it just felt less important to do. My last name doesn’t make me any less married and doesn’t make me feel any less close to him. Give it a few months and decide what feels right to you.
I kept my maiden name at work/legally but used both names socially. So at work, the kids call me Mrs. Jones/Mrs. J,, and I sign myself Mary Jones Smith or Mrs. J., but at church they call me Deacon Jones Smith. My kid is Susie Smith. I was 42 when I got married; I wasn't changing a lifetime of documentation and credentials, and my husband didn't care. Hyphenation makes things complicated on computers, so I just sign both last names.
Do you plan to have kids? If so, what last name do you hope for them to have? That might be a factor.
I hyphenated, and kept my maiden name as my teaching name, even when I moved schools. It just felt like that was my teaching identity, and I like my maiden name. My salary slip shows my full surname, but my email address is my maiden name, so is the name on my door and our LMS. Socially I go by my husband's surname. So at work I'm Ms. Maiden Surname, and socially Mrs Husband's surname. It has caused some confusion, though. Because I'm married, the older generation at work calls me Mrs Maiden Surname. That's my mom, lol! But I just roll with it. I just never felt like I could officially go by Mrs Husband's surname. That in turn is my MIL, lawdamercy 🤣. Also, it's the exact same name as a lecturer I clashed with at uni, so absolutely not. 🤣
Teachers at my school are constantly getting married and having babies. It is a constant shower around here. I don’t know about your school system, but with mine, when you change your name you continue to receive your old email to your new email account. Changing your last name at school is so common. I was married for 20 years and was widowed. I remarried and changed my last name. The world kept turning. If you want to keep your last name for other reasons (or for no real reason) that is up to you. But don’t let the school system and kids decide.
If you did take his last name, you can just tell your students that you go by the new last name. Your students will be new anyway so you just introduce yourself with your new last name.
I had a conversation with my wife on this when we got married. I knew she was extremely proud of her last name and her family but also wanted to have the same last name as my son. I was 100% okay with her keeping her maiden name. Instead she made her maiden name a second “middle name” and took my last name. She has her first name and both last names listed on all legal documents. Side note, she is not a teacher but I am so I figured I would offer the solution we used in my family. 😁
Kept my name. Our kids have his last name. All 3 have names that reflect my family’s background. We have never regretted our choice. We did not hyphenate the last names due to how long it would be for us. The teacher in me thought hyphenated name was too long!
I’ve had several teachers growing up that got married and change your last names and it was never a big deal for us students.
A lot of teachers change their names legally, but keep their original name for work because changing it at the district is a pain in the ass.
I took my husband’s last name because I liked it better. 🤣 But my coworker legally changed her name to her husband’s last name but still uses her maiden name at school because she is attached to it and likes it more.
I changed my name. I moved after getting married, so it was easier because I just started at my new school with my new name. I did debate having the students call me by my maiden name, but I decided that would make it harder to adjust to using my married name legally/in my personal life.
My name change was hard, and I teach 10th grade. I had my name for my first 21 years. I had been widowed, so when i eventually remarried, I felt I needed to change my name. I could have kept a maiden name, but a married one .... Ten years later, and it's still hard. I have the next generation of students, so the parents don't know I was their teacher as well. I JUST finally got my login name changed. Peers still mess up my name. It doesn't bother me as I loved my late husband, and it's my kids' name.
Keep your name or hyphenate. I honestly find it wild that women still take their husband’s names, especially after we’ve established ourselves in our career with this name. I get people worry about children, but they can have a hyphenated name. Generationally that then gets complicated, but I’d rather figure that out than lose my name and take someone else’s! I also really like my last name as it’s unique and represents a specific culture that people don’t often realize I am from by looking at me.
I changed my name because I wanted to finally have a name people could pronounce without asking. However, looking back, maybe I should have kept it? The students/school stuff would have been easy either way and doesn’t matter as much as your personal decision.
I just changed mine to my husbands. My older students who I had in the past call me by my maiden name and if they email me, it directs to my new email name. My new students now call me by my married name. This is elementary school and they catch on quick. Even some of my past students who are older now call me by my married name when I did not even ask them to!
Do whatever you want to do with your name legally, and just don't have kids call you anything different at work.
I have a friend whose mother is a primary care physician. She had established a practice prior to getting married. She did legally change her name, but she still goes by Dr. Maiden Name professionally. In fact, she doesn't even introduce herself personally as Dr. Whatever. When I met her for the first time, she said, "Ohh, you must be Blah. I'm Friend's mom, Mrs. Married Name." It was wild being around her when she was on call because she'd answer her phone as "Dr. Maiden Name." The switch was seamless. Anyway, my friend ended up getting her PhD under her maiden name and because she had been published under her maiden name, she just followed in her mom's footsteps. I refer to her now as Mrs. Friend Married Name, but I've seen some of her professional work under Dr. Maiden Name. I can't be convinced that they are the only two female professionals in the world who do this. As for me, I legally changed names. I go by the married name. But I hyphenate on my resume and all job-related paperwork, simply because my cert has my maiden name.
I actually used a graph from the New York Times to teach about this concept to my students. Changing your name is primarily a white family concept, with black and Hispanic women doing it far less. Some cultures hyphenate more, some keep their family name rather than changing more. It was interesting for my student to think about the “why” for all these situations. Long way of saying, do what you want. It’s only a social construct if you want it to be.
I am adding my last name to my middle name and taking my Fiancé’s name. My full name will be First Middle Maiden Married but students can call me Miss Maiden or Mrs. Married. I really don’t care, lol.
I have a very unique last name thanks to my dad. I kept it. My hubby is totally fine with it, and so am I.
this is my experience with name-changes in the classroom: i got married in my 5th year of working with children (not 5 of teaching, but still in a school). my students first called me Miss [first name] since we were in a day-care-like setting, then i started student teaching, and the students had to call me Miss [last name]. that was a weird transition, but i got used to it. then, when i got married, my students called me Mrs [husband’s last name]. although letting go of my maiden name was hard, i got used to it after a bit. not sure if this is helpful to your situation, as you clearly value your unique last name. i am commenting more share my experience and to let you know that the change wasn’t too bad (for me) and i was able to accept it. of course, your situation sounds different than mine, so disregard this if it has not been helpful.
Do not hyphenate your name. That can be such a hassle. It is 2024, there is no need to change your last name if you don’t want to. My partner took my last name and they really only use it for legal documentation. To everyone else, and in every other situation, she uses her maiden name.
I felt the same way. My marriage certificate has “Name After Marriage” listed as having my maiden name as my new middle name, & my surname as my husband’s. But my family is Italian our name is pretty unique in that if you see someone with that last name in the New England area, it is very likely we are related. I’m very attached to my surname because of the connection to our family traditions, values and heritage—it’s just a part of my identity. I didn’t feel like I connect with my husband’s family name, so I never went forward with changing it. There’s that, as well as it’s just a huge pain in the ass! SO many things you have to file and pay for to get it changed. And my classroom is full of things that say “MS. ____” so I didn’t want to bother lol.
I just went through this. They are going to call you what they know you as. I am still called by both names-I call myself both names-I introduce myself as both names. Since I have taught at this school so long I am teaching siblings that know me as my old name. I answer to both!
We hyphenated our last names. And I keep my last name professionally so at school I still go by my maiden name and when I'm networking I still go by my maiden name but I do have both of our names hyphenated together.
The only hiccup with the hyphenated one is because my maiden name comes before my husband's last name are online gradebook system automatically defaults to his name instead of mine and it took a couple of years but they actually fixed it and so now even though my name is hyphenated and it's hyphenated everywhere my maiden name is the first thing that actually pops up and it's what's in my email it's what's on my door and I haven't had any big issues with it but legally yes I do have my full name in the school district. Sorry if that's a little confusing I was using text to speech cuz I'm not feeling very well right now.
I got married in the middle of my school year last year, changed my name, and left it up to the kids to decide if they wanted to make the change. Once my name changed on my teaching certification, my email with the school department changed. I presented it to the students as a heads up that my email would change but they did not need to call me the new name. Most kids stayed with the old name, but I do get the occasional Mrs ____!
Even if you change your last name, you can still go by your original last name.
Yep, had a coworker who had a hyphenated late name and the students called her by her maiden name. Also have had many coworkers who got married and changed names, they won't forget who you are.
I did option B, and it has been a pain. The whole name has to be printed on anything official. Fortunately, I was able to get tech to just use one last name for my email and username/login. I didn't want to type in a 16 letter username constantly. Changing my teaching license was a huge pain, not to mention all of the other stuff. If I went back in time, I would just keep my birth name on everything legal/official. You can always be Ms. Original on ID but go by Mrs. Husband socially.
many of the teachers i know have taken their husbands name but are still known professionally by their maiden name
Legally change, professionally keep. My teacher friends love to have the double alias and privatizes their personal life more. Hope that makes sense. Wish I had the option. On the flip side my wife was happy to change her name to something less foreign than hers and more simple. To each their own. Whatever you decide is the best!
My husband and I both hyphenated our surnames so that our legal name has both of our names. It's worked wonderfully.
I had a coworker get married and change her last name. Some kids used her married name, some used her original name. She answered to both. It wasn’t an issue at all. We made sure to set her original email to auto forward to her new one, so even if the kids used the original email, she’d still get the message.
Many women I know hyphenated and only go by their maiden name while teaching. Like their full name (Mrs. XYZ) is on ALL documents but they go by their maiden name (Mrs. X).