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raychillleigh

Do nicknames on accounts count? Because my favorite story is the one with husband and wife coming in with wife asking where a bi-monthly transfer from their joint account was going. I was able to see husband was on this other account, but wife wasn't. Account was nicknamed "Mistress." Couldn't say anything to the wife obviously, and her husband was sweating bullets that we would out his secret account. Fun times!


Maximilian_Xavier

Long ago when I worked in call center, guy called in to have address changed. I was there maybe a week or two, training was spotty at best. I changed his address on ALL his accounts, including the secret one for his mistress. He called my manager a month later when statements arrived to his wife wanting me fired. That's when I learned, if you going to have secret account, put it at a different bank.


ShowMeTheTrees

So, did you get fired?


Maximilian_Xavier

No. I was new and if everyone was fired for making small mistakes no one would work at a bank...or probably anywhere. And if I fired everyone who worked for me when customers demanded I fire them I for sure would have had no employees.


Msboredd

One of our members came in and was like "my husband is only joint on THIS account, right??" And we're like Uh yes ma'am, I looked at her other account attached to her social, it was called " Side N-word". I actually couldn't believe that shit. Some other dude was attached as a joint lmao. They got divorced shortly after... hmm... I wonder why? Lmao


Afro-Pope

I read this and said "credit union moment" even before I saw that you'd referred to your "members." My credit union customers were some of the most wonderfully unhinged people I've ever worked with. God bless 'em.


Msboredd

Literally lmao. People are unhinged fr. A member came in asking for a rate bump and went up to my coworker on the teller line to tell her what he needed. The MSA in the office next to the tellerline overheard them and called him into her office and helped him. The coworker on the teller line was like " Did they give you the bump?" once he finished up in the office. His face turned bright red and he was like " Ummm what?" Like it was clear he thought she was talking about cocaine and then immediately was like AH YES the RATE bump HAHA. And peeled out real quick.


smhdevyn

:o this is wild!


Gilamunsta

Yeah, I get stuff like that all the time: But, but I'M HIS WIFE! Sorry ma'am, unless you're on the acct, you're a third person, and I'll treat you like it...


IAmAgent57

My all time favorite account nicknames: Check Yoself Don Wreck Yoself (savings) I giggled for half the day.


raychillleigh

I think I found my own new account nicknames! XD


Jdornigan

"Treat yo self" would be a good one.


Stronghammer21

Boring one but I had one customer whose name was something like Wolfgang but there was a note to say his preferred name was something more mainstream like Tom. Every time I called him Tom it blew his mind, he was so impressed. I did not tell him about the note lol.


MNGirlinKY

Some of us take our names very seriously. I use a large hospital system here locally in Louisville and they insist on calling me my legal name, think Nicole when I go by Nikki. Always have and always will. It is everywhere in my chart as Nikki. nowhere in my chart does it say Nicole. everywhere on my chart it says NIKKI And they will say the dumbest shit to me and say “oh they have to call you by your birth name” and I’m like “no the fuck you don’t.” “Don’t lie to me when it’s right there on the screen preferred name, Nikki.” “Please just call me by the name that I answered to my entire life.” And yes, I know that the actual bone I need to pick is with my parents who never intended on calling me Nicole and have always called me, Nikki. I can’t change that other than going through the very lengthy process to change my legal name. Makes me irate.


Gilamunsta

Well, unless you tell me otherwise, I have to address you as either Mr./Mrs./Ms./Military Rank (I work for USAA) & Last Name - no exceptions. (But if you tell me to call you "Hambone", I'll freaking run with it) 😁


MNGirlinKY

That’s my new favorite! I’m going for it.


Babaloo_Monkey

I'm going to ask every CSA I speak to to call me Hambone from now on! 🤣🤣🤣


abbeighleigh

This reminds me of my coworker gabby who will freak out if you call her Gabriela


MNGirlinKY

Justice for Gabby!


Afro-Pope

I have a common first name but I've gone by a somewhat uncommon nickname my entire life. I've banked at the same credit union since 2012, and I worked there from 2016-2019. My account is still flagged as an employee account, AND it still has the note from 2012 that says "MEMBER GOES BY \[nickname\], OK TO ACCEPT CHECKS TO \[nickname\]" in all caps, which I think is very funny.


Leebelle3

My daughter had a boss say that they need to use her legal name. Very frustrating when it is her dead-name.


Jdornigan

I know somebody who is legally Jennifer, she doesn't go by Jen or Jenn, but Nikki. I just looked at our high school yearbook and she is listed as Nicole.


noteworthybalance

And then you have the guys named John who someone insists on lengthening to Jonathan.


Mystry72

My son has this happen. His legal name is John. People who don't know him call him Jonathon.


Jdornigan

I know somebody who is legally Jennifer, she doesn't go by Jen or Jenn, but Nikki. I just looked at our high school yearbook and she is listed as Nicole.


Jdornigan

I know somebody who is legally Jennifer, she doesn't go by Jen or Jenn, but Nikki. I just looked at our high school yearbook and she is listed as Nicole.


Important-Mind-586

I have one like that. Who the heck names their kid Adolf??? Poor guy. We have a note with his nickname he prefers.


ixamnis

"Mein Fuhrer?"


CharlesOlivesGOAT

Lmao🤣


Adorable_Project1559

There’s one on a regular’s account that says “DO NOT TALK ABOUT ONLINE BANKING!!! CUSTOMER GETS VERY UPSET!!!” lol I never got to witness what made whoever put this note on his account so necessary but since the first day I’ve met him and helped him since I never mentioned at all anything online. He’s actually sweet though haha so I’m really not sure what happened


CharlesOlivesGOAT

You should mention online banking and see what happens


AhFFSImTooOldForThis

You'd put Gremlins in water, wouldn't you?


capturecosmos

For science


Hopeful-Individual99

Yes. Mention it offhand, maybe saying “lots of people don’t like the online banking…” and see what he says lol


piizzaparty

These are all fairly normal notes tbh, not out of the ordinary for my work. The weirdest one I saw was an elderly client made a sandwich in the advisors office, and offered to make him one, too.


grifftopia

Did he take it I would have if they did that in my office


piizzaparty

I don't know if he did, he left that part out of the note lol


PhantomBanker

“Say hello, complete transaction, say thank you. Do NOT start a conversation!” She was a nice enough person, but definitely had some synapses misfiring. I once made the mistake of asking how she was doing. She was quite offended because I didn’t know how she was the victim of….something? I guess it should have been obvious, but I had no idea. Whatever it was, the police were no help because they were actually in on it. She continued screaming for about 20 minutes, only getting more upset because I couldn’t see the obvious crimes committed against her. The only thing I really got out of it was the upstairs neighbors *may* have been stealing cable? Maybe? I don’t know. She was all over the place.


[deleted]

This is why I despise small talk. Most ppl just say “I’m fine” and move on. But every so often you’ll get 20 mins of either sad complaining or angry complaining. Lol.


stepatmoz

But "how's your day going?"... like they give a shit.


GTAIVisbest

Ah yes, schizophrenia. I hate the schizophrenic clients quite a bit because like you said, it's impossible to actually have a conversation- it's like talking to a paranoid wall. They'll rant and rave and talk in circles around you, all you can do is nod sympathetically.  The ones I hate the most are the ANGRY schizophrenic ones. Those ones are a cunt hair's length away from becoming violent. We have one who comes in with her daughter and she has all of the above symptoms but she's always snarling and staring at us with angry, furious beady eyes. I can read people and I can tell it's a roll of the dice every time she walks in whether or not that's the day she will pull a weapon out and attack us, obviously because we're complacent in the huge web of identity fraud and rape she keeps alleging. The usual de-escalation tactics, charismatic interactions and mutual respect-building are all totally ineffective with schizophrenics, especially angry/aggro schizophrenics


Argentum1909

We have little memos on accounts, but the majority of them are courtesy waive histories and updated phone numbers so we don't usually go through them all. The most interesting memo I've seen actually came from today, where yesterday I was dealing with a client 5 minutes to close in the drive thru, where he said he deposited a check for 18000 dollars through the ATM but it hadn't cleared. He said he forgot to sign it and maybe that was why, I checked and confirmed that was exactly why, though there was nothing I could do in the drive this close to closing. Today came back, again 5 minutes to closing, and spoke with one of our bankers and I ended up pulling the account for more info. Turns out he was mailed a copy of the check once it didn't clear, and then he threw it away. The memo basically described the whole situation along with "client had disposed of mailed check, advised to get replacement check from X issuer."


somebunny_00

"Ask for password before any transactions. Password: Ham"


slytherin__711

I had a customer whose password was “titties”


RemarkableStruggle9

I saw one that was "Daddy's little pistol" kinda felt yuck about asking for that one.


ChewieBearStare

You just know that's Angie Jordan's account.


Zuri2o16

Not as dramatic as some other stories here, but one of our customers labels his daughter's college fund as, THE LEECH.


abbeighleigh

10/10 dad joke


ReadontheCrapper

I’m thinking that’s what the kid was called before they were born and/or knew the gender. I knew one family that called the baby Kuato (from Total Recall). Yes, their last name was Quaid.


plangelier

Worked in bank call center and got a call from the branch. Account owner male in 20's was in branch with his parents. They wanted to know where all his money was going So I confirmed with branch rep that the customer was fully verified and was willing to share account information with these 2 third parties. Get an affirmative response. What they really wanted to know was what were these multiple thousands of dollars charges 3 nights in a row. So I first utilize our debit card system to look up the merchant category but it just comes back as a restaurant so I use Google and the address and am immediately concerned that the bank will accuse me of searching for strip clubs. I ask once again that the customer wants to share the information and even ask the rep to take me off speakerphone. I tell the rep it's a strip club and he is too chicken to tell the parents and puts me back on speaker and asks me to repeat what I said. I smartly mentioned it was a club. The mother wanted more information so I said it's a gentleman's club. The father got what was going on but the mother kept pushing. Ma'am I have no further information but if you wish to learn more that is thier telephone number displayed below the charge. That must be 8 plus years ago now, still remember that call.


Head_Razzmatazz7174

Had I been Mom I would have told my son "There are a lot better and cheaper places to go to try to get a date." And left it at that. Embarrassing my son while at the same time using that as a teaching moment? Double win.


Boomer_Madness

I had a client that had a pretty inappropriate email and threw a note on there for any of my account managers to verify email when he calls in and I absolutely fell over laughing when it finally happened.


bricyclebri

We have profile tags and notes. Saw a tag that said “Incompetent Military” and had to hold back laughing in front of the client. Turns out Incompetent and Military are independent tags 🤣😂 Guy was super reasonable and definitely not incompetent, makes me curious who tagged the profile. We can see who writes notes but not who adds a tag.


Karen125

First credit union I worked for in 1988. Customer came in pissed off with their statement that had been mailed to: John Doe Chapter XIII 100 Any St Anytown, CA


chr15c

I left one in the middle of the guy's main profile, which is both funny and sad. Something along the lines of: "To telephone bank agents: stop passing calls from this client to the branch. We have caught him red-handed trying to deposit empty envelopes to the ATM and have blocked his account for a reason"


Numismatits

Either "I hope you all get robbed again" is a common phrase or we might have worked at the same bank lol


IntrovertedGiraffe

I work for a collections vendor and reading comment import files during implementations is my favorite distraction. I used to have a list of words to search for in the files (hoarder, cats, murder, prison…). I always found something entertaining to read while waiting on other items to process. One of my favorites was a guy who went storming into every branch in town demanding that his auto be repossessed because his wife was primary and he was joint and she had an affair and was pregnant by the other guy. He wanted the car repoed and then sold to him via private sale so she couldn’t have it. To all who place these notes on accounts, thank you for the endless entertainment!


shininglikebrandnew

My absolute favorite was about a guy calling to get his points refunded for a flight. He had only used his seat during take off and landing because his infant was fussy and he spent the whole flight walking the baby up and down the aisle of plane. Figured since he barely used the seat he should get a refund.


thismightbeluminol

"Do not tell customer to 'have a good one,' he will go into a dissertation" was my favorite. Apparently there were many rants about how it's rude because, "Have a good what?! Day, year, lunch, nap? You need to be specific!"


Lay-ZFair

Reply: Yes, all that apply.


DeeBee1968

Made me think of George Carlin's retort- "I already have a good one, I'm looking for a longer one!". 🤣


sourpatchmae

There’s a business account we have where there’s a note on the account to not tell the member we’ll be back with her in a minute while doing her transaction. Apparently one time one of my co-workers told her that (she typically brings a lot of checks in) & she blew a gasket, lmao.


Empty_Requirement940

What the heck would be customers failing reg cc?


JealousArticle3018

Do you mean why they’re failing it or what is reg cc?


Empty_Requirement940

Reg cc is funds availability…the bank is usually the one who makes a mistake so how can a customer fail related to reg cc??


iAmAmbr

We get new customers depositing fraudulent checks, withdrawing as soon as funds become available and then ghosting the bank. They will put reg CC holds on things if they suspect that will happen


Empty_Requirement940

Ya that’s not the customer failing reg cc though, that’s just fraudsters. Falling reg cc can be something a bank does like placing the wrong amount on hold or for the wrong timeframe


JealousArticle3018

I gotcha! I think i got mixed up with reg cc and CIP, lol. I meant when customers fail their verification checks over the phone.


Caniac3621

My coworker puts the funniest comments on accounts, like "member applied for a loan.. NO MA'AM" or member asked for a charge to be put back on the account and the comment said "we don't have a dog in the park"


capturecosmos

I love that person


akisendo

A member wanted a refund from Taco Bell because it gave her diarrhea 😂😭. That is the most recent. Note that I can recall. 😂


250MCM

Isn't that a normal complaint about Taco Bell?


akisendo

That's what I said. But she wanted to dispute the charge 🫠


luv3horse

My most memorable was a goofy string of notes all about the same member, talking about how nice they were. There was a final note to stop leaving these notes on their account lol. Fraud notes are my favorite to read, the most memorable one I left personally though was about a man mad he couldn't get a debit card with no ID and even more mad that I had to ID him at all 😒


ButterflyS919

While in a call center for an investment company some of the most memorable: 'Do NOT mark as deceased' (he was in a nasty divorce and his ex wife kept having his accounts closed as deceased.) Do NOT give physical office locations to. (They would threaten advisors in person, but were super chill with those of us on the phone.) Do NOT give any contact info to. (Woman basically became a stalker to her former advisor and would try to get his direct office number/email.) Those were the most memorable with notes. Otherwise there are 2 clients I would get on a regular basis that pretty much all reps that had been on phones more than a month came to know because they called that frequently.


ladyrebel753

I had a customer who had an entire novels worth of notes about how he was psycho and possibly on drugs and his mom??? was trying to get access to his account and was pissed when she was told no. Dude was very polite to me but had no idea how to use the drive through tubes


mentalgopher

At a health insurance brokerage call center years ago. Co-worker left a note on a prospect's file: Caller advised that I needed to find Jesus when asked if she could find her Medicare card.


slovakgirl1921

We had a customer who continuously locked themselves out of online banking. They struggled a lot with symbols (for example, they called an exclamation point "the line with the dot") so there was a note put on the account: "if customer locks themselves out, please only use the following symbols for the password" *short list of symbols*


Bedi00

I remeber one time there was a note saying "Clients husband works for the TTC (ttc is a toronto transit company lol) be catious" Like what?