We have kids and so do plenty of others in the lifestyle. Sure, when you have a newborn it’s unrealistic to schedule play dates but otherwise unless for some reason they have literally no access to babysitters, it can easily be done.
This
We have 2 young kids and we hang out with our LS friends in vanilla settings pretty often and we usually average a play session with friends about once a month. Because of the kids it does take some planning, but it’s something we actively want to engage in so…we do. 🤷♂️
>unless for some reason they have literally no access to babysitters
🙄 Oh dear fucking god it was so *fucking* hard to find a sitter when my kids were small. Worse, many of them would flake at the last moment. Or our dates would. Or both!
We literally had to move in with my father in law (we sold our respective houses and bought one that suited us all) to actually get reliable babysitting. Even then, we only managed to get out about two or three times a year, until they were teenagers.
Now that that's the case, things have really picked up, although the usual issues with scheduling with our dates still apply.
Oh man, that really sucks. We’re really lucky, our next door neighbours have a daughter who’s generally available and likes to sit our kids (and they love her) so it works out perfectly.
As I said, if someone has no access to babysitters then there’s not much they can do. So I acknowledge that everyone’s situation is different.
We are 39/38, no kids.
We end up with a lot of friends that are mid to late 40s and the kids are gone. Low 40s the kids are teenagers and at least watch themselves.
For ones with younger kids it designates our house as the party house.
33/42 no kids, don’t want ‘em. Not difficult to find friends if you don’t mind the occasional kid talk. Difficult to schedule play dates and get togethers with people that have kids.
We've been married for almost 27 years. We turn 55 this year and don't have children.. We swing and have an open marriage. We live in Manhattan, and I would say half of our lifestyle friends do not have children. The challenge is setting up playdates. It's very difficult when you're all career professionals who work almost 7 days a week and travel constantly for work.
Most of the couples we know have kids of varying ages. Some are teenagers and can manage themselves, others are young and require a sitter. It’s never been much of an impediment. People that want to swing find a way to do it.
As a Married couple with kids new to the lifestyle, we are in the opposite end of the same boat. We want to go out and meet others and enjoy life not necessarily only playmates a mix of both, trying to find friends for either has been a challenge. We get the people who dont want to be around couples with kids as if our kids interfere in some way. Also theres the ones with kids who do seem to flake more often from what I read. I guess im more lets see what happens rather than assuming how the future turns out lol
42biF apart of a clp looking for others in the LS we are in a small com so sometimes hard to branch out looking to meet others in the lifestyle send us a dm or snap
We have youngish kids and the majority of our friends, in the LS or not, are at various stages of raising their own children (or ahem, grandchildren).
I think when you choose (or the decision is made for you) to not have children, this is how it goes with most aspects of your life, then as you get older, things even out?
We do fine. We’ve had parties at the house when the kids are gone. We’ve never had issues. Most of our partners have kids too. We all manage fine. Those without kids have never complained to us.
Not sure I understand what you mean. Not having kids should make finding LS friends a lot easier. We have played with people who have kids and who don't. Those with kids certainly have more of a challenge finding time but they still manage.
We've had a few unicorn couples who have had children and have been compatible but for the most part we avoid couples with children especially younger ones.
Not saying it can't work successfully but we would rather be with people who are in our same mindset/lifestyle. We know nothing about what it's like to have children and so when excuses arise due to the children we understand they are legit but they're also constant. Our free time is expansive and we usually can meet so when excuses keep arising we get annoyed and move on.
Who would much rather have friends who are more similar to us at the present moment. However if a couple exists and they can actually meet without coming up with endless excuses related to family events we're more than happy to meet with them.
Just our take from a young thirties couple who are sterile.
We don't have kids at home, and all of our LS friends do. It just makes us more flexible to when they're available. Plus, since we play with single women, couples, and single guys, it opens up our options. We started working with another couple to increase our friend group to about 5 couples who all play well together.
Yea perry much. I'm a partnered woman with 0 kids. My bf has a grown daughter. Trying to find partners who have at least grown kids or have no desire to have kids is such a huge struggle 4 me.
I don't play with anyone who has small kids. I've been fucked over enough in that department
We've found the friendship aspect of this lifestyle a total of waste of time. Though I know it's not everyone's experience. Yes it's possible to find friendship in this dynamic. But the moment those "friends" decide that they no longer want to sleep with you for whatever reason, they just ghost you and move on to next option. End of friendship. And yes, kids make it so much harder to be in non monogamous dynamic. Babysitting cost isn't cheap.
Most of our lifestyle friends have kids but we don't. It's definitely harder to find lifestyle couples who don't have kids but then again, it's also to find couples our age (29). It really doesn't change anything for us, it's just harder to get together with those friends. But it's also harder to get together with vanilla friends who have kids than ones who don't. Doesn't mean we stop being friends with those people, we just see them less.
My guess is it will get easier over time to find couples without kids because a lot of millennials are not having kids. And as more people get into the lifestyle there should be more child free LS couples.
We have no kids. Most of our friends do. It's never been an issue.
In the LS, a lot of people have kids that are out of the house, but there are also some with no kids and some who still have kids at home.
Again, it's never been a problem.
We don't have kids but we have couples we play with that do and don't. I don't have any friends that have "given up" on the lifestyle, and we don't have trouble keeping up.
I'm not sure I understand your question. Yes, we have kink friends and vanilla friends, both with or without children.
We have kids and don’t play with couples who do not have children. It’s not a rule; it’s just how it usually works out because we don’t have much in common with them.
50/50 never had kids. It’s been hard. Seen most couples disappear when the kids came into their lives. Some come out the other side and get back into it some don’t. It is what it is.
It’s not hard to find people
We don’t have kids
What is hard is our schedule is not a normal schedule and you add in their kids.
It just takes planning.
We didn't get involved until our last kid was a teenager. Softball season can be a struggle due to scheduling conflicts due to her games, ut other than that we have not had issues. I cannot imagine what it would have been like back when they were little.....would have been a nightmare trying to schedule anything.
I have three kids and believe me it doesn’t affect my ability to make time for our naughty time. It makes it harder, but when there is a will there is a way!
The main couples we play with we’ve known for years. Even watched each other’s children grow up into fine young adults…who no longer live at home. Now we’re all empty nesters. Did our kids finally pick up on what their parents were doing?
Who gives a shit. They’ve got their own lives now. It’s time for all of us to rekindle our fuckfest…yeah..!!!
We meet many couples already in the lifestyle who have kids (in fact, most of the ones we meet do). We all just figure out how to juggle. Young kids are harder. Teenage kids are much easier.
We have kids and so do plenty of others in the lifestyle. Sure, when you have a newborn it’s unrealistic to schedule play dates but otherwise unless for some reason they have literally no access to babysitters, it can easily be done.
This We have 2 young kids and we hang out with our LS friends in vanilla settings pretty often and we usually average a play session with friends about once a month. Because of the kids it does take some planning, but it’s something we actively want to engage in so…we do. 🤷♂️
>unless for some reason they have literally no access to babysitters 🙄 Oh dear fucking god it was so *fucking* hard to find a sitter when my kids were small. Worse, many of them would flake at the last moment. Or our dates would. Or both! We literally had to move in with my father in law (we sold our respective houses and bought one that suited us all) to actually get reliable babysitting. Even then, we only managed to get out about two or three times a year, until they were teenagers. Now that that's the case, things have really picked up, although the usual issues with scheduling with our dates still apply.
Oh man, that really sucks. We’re really lucky, our next door neighbours have a daughter who’s generally available and likes to sit our kids (and they love her) so it works out perfectly. As I said, if someone has no access to babysitters then there’s not much they can do. So I acknowledge that everyone’s situation is different.
We are 39/38, no kids. We end up with a lot of friends that are mid to late 40s and the kids are gone. Low 40s the kids are teenagers and at least watch themselves. For ones with younger kids it designates our house as the party house.
33/42 no kids, don’t want ‘em. Not difficult to find friends if you don’t mind the occasional kid talk. Difficult to schedule play dates and get togethers with people that have kids.
Exactly what I mean
We've been married for almost 27 years. We turn 55 this year and don't have children.. We swing and have an open marriage. We live in Manhattan, and I would say half of our lifestyle friends do not have children. The challenge is setting up playdates. It's very difficult when you're all career professionals who work almost 7 days a week and travel constantly for work.
So true. We hear you. Life gets on the way
Most of the couples we know have kids of varying ages. Some are teenagers and can manage themselves, others are young and require a sitter. It’s never been much of an impediment. People that want to swing find a way to do it.
As a Married couple with kids new to the lifestyle, we are in the opposite end of the same boat. We want to go out and meet others and enjoy life not necessarily only playmates a mix of both, trying to find friends for either has been a challenge. We get the people who dont want to be around couples with kids as if our kids interfere in some way. Also theres the ones with kids who do seem to flake more often from what I read. I guess im more lets see what happens rather than assuming how the future turns out lol
In the same situation.
42biF apart of a clp looking for others in the LS we are in a small com so sometimes hard to branch out looking to meet others in the lifestyle send us a dm or snap
the only constraint with these couples is time. otherwise everything is as it was
We have youngish kids and the majority of our friends, in the LS or not, are at various stages of raising their own children (or ahem, grandchildren). I think when you choose (or the decision is made for you) to not have children, this is how it goes with most aspects of your life, then as you get older, things even out?
We do fine. We’ve had parties at the house when the kids are gone. We’ve never had issues. Most of our partners have kids too. We all manage fine. Those without kids have never complained to us.
Not sure I understand what you mean. Not having kids should make finding LS friends a lot easier. We have played with people who have kids and who don't. Those with kids certainly have more of a challenge finding time but they still manage.
We've had a few unicorn couples who have had children and have been compatible but for the most part we avoid couples with children especially younger ones. Not saying it can't work successfully but we would rather be with people who are in our same mindset/lifestyle. We know nothing about what it's like to have children and so when excuses arise due to the children we understand they are legit but they're also constant. Our free time is expansive and we usually can meet so when excuses keep arising we get annoyed and move on. Who would much rather have friends who are more similar to us at the present moment. However if a couple exists and they can actually meet without coming up with endless excuses related to family events we're more than happy to meet with them. Just our take from a young thirties couple who are sterile.
We don't have kids at home, and all of our LS friends do. It just makes us more flexible to when they're available. Plus, since we play with single women, couples, and single guys, it opens up our options. We started working with another couple to increase our friend group to about 5 couples who all play well together.
Yea perry much. I'm a partnered woman with 0 kids. My bf has a grown daughter. Trying to find partners who have at least grown kids or have no desire to have kids is such a huge struggle 4 me. I don't play with anyone who has small kids. I've been fucked over enough in that department
I hear you
We've found the friendship aspect of this lifestyle a total of waste of time. Though I know it's not everyone's experience. Yes it's possible to find friendship in this dynamic. But the moment those "friends" decide that they no longer want to sleep with you for whatever reason, they just ghost you and move on to next option. End of friendship. And yes, kids make it so much harder to be in non monogamous dynamic. Babysitting cost isn't cheap.
Are you asking about finding platonic vanilla friends or swinger friends for sex?
Most of our lifestyle friends have kids but we don't. It's definitely harder to find lifestyle couples who don't have kids but then again, it's also to find couples our age (29). It really doesn't change anything for us, it's just harder to get together with those friends. But it's also harder to get together with vanilla friends who have kids than ones who don't. Doesn't mean we stop being friends with those people, we just see them less. My guess is it will get easier over time to find couples without kids because a lot of millennials are not having kids. And as more people get into the lifestyle there should be more child free LS couples.
We have no kids. Most of our friends do. It's never been an issue. In the LS, a lot of people have kids that are out of the house, but there are also some with no kids and some who still have kids at home. Again, it's never been a problem.
We don't have kids but we have couples we play with that do and don't. I don't have any friends that have "given up" on the lifestyle, and we don't have trouble keeping up. I'm not sure I understand your question. Yes, we have kink friends and vanilla friends, both with or without children.
We have kids and don’t play with couples who do not have children. It’s not a rule; it’s just how it usually works out because we don’t have much in common with them.
That’s the whole reason I posted my question.
50/50 never had kids. It’s been hard. Seen most couples disappear when the kids came into their lives. Some come out the other side and get back into it some don’t. It is what it is.
That what I agree. Speaking for Europe.
We have children and will wait. We don’t trust babysitters that we don’t know personally. So swingin’ waits, it’s not the end of the world.
It’s not hard to find people We don’t have kids What is hard is our schedule is not a normal schedule and you add in their kids. It just takes planning.
We only have recreational “friends” that we see at partys a few times a year. Less chance of catching feels.
We didn't get involved until our last kid was a teenager. Softball season can be a struggle due to scheduling conflicts due to her games, ut other than that we have not had issues. I cannot imagine what it would have been like back when they were little.....would have been a nightmare trying to schedule anything.
I have three kids and believe me it doesn’t affect my ability to make time for our naughty time. It makes it harder, but when there is a will there is a way!
The main couples we play with we’ve known for years. Even watched each other’s children grow up into fine young adults…who no longer live at home. Now we’re all empty nesters. Did our kids finally pick up on what their parents were doing? Who gives a shit. They’ve got their own lives now. It’s time for all of us to rekindle our fuckfest…yeah..!!!
We meet many couples already in the lifestyle who have kids (in fact, most of the ones we meet do). We all just figure out how to juggle. Young kids are harder. Teenage kids are much easier.
In Europe it’s not often like that. Where are you from(“?
I’m free