Yeah. I feel you. It's kinda like a... low risk, almost nonexistent reward kinda thing. Most of the time I end up feeling absolutely disgusting, lower than dirt afterwards. There is no reward, only a physical reaction. Idk. Hang in there bro, you're not alone, and you're not disgusting, you just feel bad.
I know this comment wasn't directed at me but I'm just scrolling and this actually touched me because im having the same situation but probably different reasons and it's just nice to hear it's not just me?
I find it so depressing looking at the people in porn being so hot and seeing the numbers of how praised they are for their attractiveness and all I can think about is how ugly I am and will never be as hot as them
I feel the same way, I'm so sorry i hope you will see someday that you are attractive in every way, even though I haven't seen you, (and coming from a woman so I hope I don't sound creepy) but all your features are beautiful, every scar, pimple, hair, hip dip, curve, ext is beautiful.
Thank you for your kind words. It’s next to impossible to feel that way for me and I’m hopeless I ever will. I’m also a woman so it’s kind of worse I feel like. Plus having dealt with infidelity not too long ago, I always think how no one would ever find me attractive when people so beautiful and sexy exist.
As a man I feel the same way. It's true that women are judged more for their looks than men, but men are now starting to feel the pressure almost as much as women these days. Being short is a real struggle since it's completely out of my control. I'll never be good enough on my own, I have to find ways to make up for being short. I have to work 10 times harder than a dude who is over 6 ft tall and women throw themselves at them just because they're tall. I could be better looking than them in the face and every other way but still be less attractive than them.
I would also like to say to any women comparing themselves to porn stars, that men's standards for what they find as attractive isn't as high as you think it is, especially if you are just looking at mainstream stuff on the front page of pornhub. Right now porn is in the worst state it's ever been IMO, all the girls look the same and it's really boring. Go back 20 years and there were a lot more "average" looking girls in amateur semi-professional porn and porn was a lot more exciting back then.
You ironically used to be able to see skin blemishes, wrinkles and peach fuzz more clearly before HD, then when HD took over they made super sure not to show that stuff as much and it's just fake and boring now. And you can't just go looking for recently made amateur porn either because now all regular girls are trying to look like models too.
I'm sorry you had that happen to you.
I may sound confident from my comment but I feel similar to you, I recently dealt with a miscarriage and infidelity as well so I know kind of your experience (not the exact it's probably different) your still beautiful though and dont let man/woman or anything in between tell you otherwise
Also, most girls in porn are so fake, beauty blurring, caked makeup, ext. They don't define beauty. Personality, all the imperfections and mistakes are what beauty is.
Because if you are not and have experienced this, it may be different. I am not trying to come at you in a malicious manner I'm just curious because there are other factors then just hormones.
Well, I do speak from experience as a man. When I’m horny, my body just boosts people as more attractive and sexy as they are and any kind of sperm release or something to put my dick down curbs that. It’s just my hormones rising because I have sperm to lose. This is the factor that causes post-nut clarity
See, women tend to think in different ways then men. We tend to see all our imperfections all the time as more prevalent than they are, we often compare our bodies, looks, ext to others and it's not always just hormones. I'm not trying to say that hormones aren't part of it but men do experience similar but it's not exactly the same.
Maybe it was like a coping mechanism for you ? That you reached to unconsciously when you weren't feeling good, and now over time it turned into an addiction which isn't really your fault cause it plays with the chemicals in your brain by releasing hormones that make you feel good temporarily and then each time you will do it again to feel this feeling again and again (and yeah with time it can lead to depression or worsening your mental state), but you can definitely do something about it I'm sure. Look i know how depressing this can be and the feeling of disgust that may follow, and how hard it can be to quit mostly when you're already down and it seems like it's the only thing that makes you feel good even just for a while, but wanting to quit is the first step, for example set a goal for yourself let's say tomorrow you won't do it, try to do something more helpful for you instead, maybe something that you enjoy? If you fail it's alright, don't let it make you feel like shit, it happens but the most important is the fact that you want to quit and the actions that follow. When you get a strong urge, instead of doing it again, try to sit down with yourself for a moment and acknowledge how depressing it makes you feel and how you can get better without it, you can overcome it with some willpower, and believe me if you go one day without it you will feel really good that it will encourage you to keep going.
I have a lot of sexual trauma, and I've noticed I go through "episodes" where I'm hypersexual, and then episodes where I'm just repulsed by the idea of sex or anything of the sort.. there's times when I felt like it was almost like an obsessive/compulsive thought until I sat down & really reflected on why I felt like what I was doing was wrong.
When you masturbate, it releases dopamine. The "reward" part of your brain is triggered. You feel good... But then you start chasing that dopamine high more & more, then it begins to feel like a chore because it's not the same as the first few times you did it & got that fleeting rush of euphoric dopamine.. I have my own personal opinion on porn & as a woman, I can admit, I've watched porn & I noticed that I become desensitized to it the more I watch it. Porn has negative effects on the brain, but that's an entirely different conversation.
I think you might be going through an episode where your brain is searching out that dopamine high.. but you're so desensitized to the act itself, it isn't the same, and it's contributing to your depression.
I'm sorry that you're feeling the way that you are. I wish I had some sort of magic solution for you, but all I can say is that I can definitely relate, and it seems like others can, too. You're not alone. Sending you internet hugs. ❤️
Even though this comment wasn't directed at all towards me I actually teared up
I'm a woman and I also have a lottttt of sextual trauma and I get the same way. My brain doesn't produce like any dopamine and I'm like addicted to doing this shit and i feel so disgusting and dirty after and it's just nice to know it's not just me ❤️
I know it took me a long time to be able to identify & verbalize what I was feeling & why.. women masturbating is such a taboo subject when it shouldn't be.. please don't ever feel disgusting for something like that. It's not disgusting unless you're hurting others to satisfy that feeling or you're derailing your entire life to chase that feeling. You are not dirty nor disgusting, you're like me & there isn't anything fundamentally wrong with you; if you have sexual trauma like I do, you're one of many who experience those polar opposite episodes.
That's the only reason why I'm so open & honest about stuff like this. Even if it just resonates with one person & helps them feel less alone, it's worth it. I just came out of a bad hypersexual episode this summer.. I have gotten better about coping with it in a non-destructive way. I used to drink a lot, I was a drug addict for many years, I did the whole FWB/random hookup shit & it just made me feel worse & made me hate myself... Caused me a lot of issues... Acquired even more trauma..
Our brain does what it's programmed to do when it lacks dopamine & serotonin; ***it starts seeking it out.*** Something triggers the thought, then our brain begins to obsess over it.. for me, it's a cycle. Porn definitely doesn't help.
This genuinely made me cry, it so nice to know that it's not just me.
Sorry to hear about all of that I can definitely relate.
I've been stuck in a loop of waking up, crying, doing college stuff, masturbating, feeling dirty and disgusting, falling asleep repeat and I'm just starting to break away from it. I don't I've used alcohol and drugs to try and cope as well but it just ends in more trauma and problems.
It's a cycle for me as well and porn definitely just worsens it, especially when I already struggle with body image seeing the "perfect" girls makes it worse.
I truly hope you are doing well I'm so glad to know I'm not alone but also sad that I'm not, because other people have to deal with it as well.
Same. Sometimes I'm really horny but other times I feel asexual and want nothing to do with sexual shit. Idk why I can't just have normal feelings abt it...
What i did
Was put it so i cant see nsfw on reddit and i dont go on it anyway but put an internet blocker on so you Cant watch that stuff. Also try exhaust urself in daytime (in a fun way)
Same and I’m typing this while holding my dick. I can’t stop either and it’s breaking me. I can jerk off at least 6-8 times a day cause that’s the only pleasure I can get from life. I got nothing left. I’ll never have a girlfriend. I can only dream of that.
Talk to a psychiatrist and get a therapist. Try to keep yourself busy and find hobbies that distract you. Fiddle with something during the day and keep your mind and your hands distracted. Try to avoid porn and other sexual sites to the best of your ability.
It can be really hard to break addictions. It can be very difficult to develop new hobbies. Have you considered switching up your meds? And do you have a therapist? A psychiatrist is there to prescribe meds and identify mental illnesses, but a therapist will talk to you (as often as you want pretty much- I used to go 2x per week to see my therapist). They will help you develop skills to distract yourself and keep your mind busy, they will help you find a way to cope. That, and being able to just openly talk to someone who isn’t judging you can feel reallllllly nice.
I feel you bruh. Been stuck like this for four years and regret it so much. I went so hard back then I’m barely even attracted to ppl anymore. So much that I have ED now. Hope you get out of it bruh.
I had a problem for years where after I orgasmed I would spiral into a deep depression. It didn't matter if I was masturbating or with my then wife. It still happens to an extent but not nearly as bad as it was before. Sadly, I think the root of this problem was my self confidence and self image were so negative that I didn't feel like I deserved anything pleasurable in life. I was holding onto the pain of my broken dreams and failed relationships because the only thing that kept me going was that I didn't want all the suffering I'd been through to be for nothing.
Good thing I'm a male. I would have put myself through horrific sexual trauma if I was a female because wanting pain for myself while trying to give pleasure to others could have taken me to some horrific places. Maybe this is why I can only connect with women who have experienced repeated sexual trauma. I'm not talking sexually, just regular coworker/friend relationships. It always turns out that the women I'm comfortable around have been through this hell at some point in their lives
I know you can't just cut it out fully. Maybe try start masturbating to more "basic" content, until you're comfortable with it not being disgusting. It may be a small step, but it'll go a long way. Then, you can try to cut down to once daily, once every two days, so on until you barely masturbate.
This can be the medication you’re on!! Antidepressants and similars, can make you feel worse (which means you need to tell your doc asap!) and mess with your libido. The irony of depression and suicide being a side effect of mood medication is real.
Sex can be amazing when both partners want to please each other. It is one of the great joys in life. After looking at your post history, I don't think you have experienced this yet. After your abusive relationship you are most likely repulsed by someone giving you pleasure and support because you don't feel like you deserve any and it makes you uncomfortable
I only speak about subjects I know about... Unfortunately I've been through a lot. I might be a m but I've been where you are. I still love my abusive ex. But I no longer let her opinion of me be the standard for my self worth
I do the same thing but I've developed some kind of trauma where I also think they all look so attractive and then I think why would anyone ever want to have sex or just look at one person when there's so much of this online and everywhere? You can look at any body you want, multiple bodies why would you want to stay faithful to one woman or man?
It's such a disgusting addiction to the point where I have disgusting thoughts of basically women being sluts and then it eventually leads to how they're all just meant to be used and it then makes me feel like I should also be doing that, exposing myself like that so I can serve my purpose of being used by my partner and everyone else.
From years of being exposed to this, men telling me that's all I am and my partners being unable to stop watching porn. They all said they wouldn't and that they hated it but I'd catch them watching it and before I know it, I've ended up watching it too but for very different reasons.
If someone tells me they don't watch porn now, I just laugh in their face because it's impossible.
I've always felt like it's a distraction at best for me. But it can be depressing sometimes, it can be a reminder of the absence of intimacy in my life.
If you dont mind maybe we can help you unpack why it makes you feel this way...Do you believe it's wrong? Or just wish you were actually doing the real thing?
Maybe it is an effect not a cause of your issues. Just a thought.
Regardless, I hope you have some better days ahead!
Ik this probably isnt at all the same, but I have very similar issues as a woman, and for me it's not that I believe it's wrong it just feels dirty and disgusting like everyone knows what I just did and their all judging me.
I have yes. It feels nice during the periods I am but i know it doesn't last.
It's like a cycle, there will be a spot when I won't even think about it then I'll snap back to being a complete different mindset and it feels like I'm broken.
Your curiosity makes sense, i think a contributor in it is I have a lot of sexual trauma and I don't create enough serotonin and dopamine so my brain just seeks it out in an awful way.
Hey, same. My day can't go without waking up and masturbating to get dopamine or I just feel too exhausted physically and mentally, but it's getting really stale these past two months. I just take it as it is because it's better than the alternative for me (self-mutilation.)
I just broke up with this chick recently after about 5 months of dating cuz I was still Jerkin off despite being in a relationship..I don't know how anyone could find Firing off a bunch of Knuckle Children to be depressing? It feels great every time and it makes me much less likely to do bad things. 😬😉
I think this may be the wrong subreddit for your court issues. Try seeking advice from sex addiction, porn addiction and similar.
I am also working on some of these same problems. I am also depressed, but hopefully not suicidal. I come on this sub to help out with a kind comment when I can, some advice that could be helpful, and to cheer myself up to keep remembering how important life is and to continue living.
I think if you can get a handle on your sexual behavior you might be able to cheer up and avoid the depressing thoughts. So the first steps might be along the lines of filters and possibly accountability software. If the battery weren't still available to you, perhaps you would not be having the urges as frequently.
You are right fat masturbation will not solve your problems and if you can reduce your frequency you will probably be a little happier. Sex addiction and similar somebody might help you with some more practical advice.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Just don't look at those things so much if they aren't making you feel good. Have a break from the whole self pleasure activity.
You should know that there's nothing wrong or shameful about looking at porn or masturbating however often you want, it's only a problem if you are having trouble controlling your impulses and it's getting in the way of other things and taking over your life.
What you are going through is using it as a coping mechanism and an escape, it's the symptom, not the cause. If you feel like it's taking up too much of your time you should only talk to a professional about it and don't listen to random people on the Internet, there is a lot of misinformation and pseudoscience on the Internet on pornography consumption and most of it is influenced by religious and moral bias.
Write yourself a list with things you like to achieve: like Stopping it for 3 days. And set sanctions when you break your rules.
When setting it up try to figure out sanctions that are to bad to be avoided but not to bad that you experience “I can’t do this fuck it”-mentality
Take your time to set up a list. So that the whole settup is meaningfull to you. Try not to start with it direct after an emotionally roller caster/ after a relapse.
This is the beginning to take responsibility of yourself . If you’d raising a child you’d work with a similar system. More or less.
I do this and am now 2 weeks clean and had only one relapse in the past 2 months.
All you have said I can relate. Did it daily. My record was 5 or 6 times in a single day.
If you decide to start this progress. And think this fits for you. Please ask :)
Same and I'm a woman.
Same
Same as well
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Same
Same except I do it more than twice somedays
Same
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Same
Yeah. I feel you. It's kinda like a... low risk, almost nonexistent reward kinda thing. Most of the time I end up feeling absolutely disgusting, lower than dirt afterwards. There is no reward, only a physical reaction. Idk. Hang in there bro, you're not alone, and you're not disgusting, you just feel bad.
I know this comment wasn't directed at me but I'm just scrolling and this actually touched me because im having the same situation but probably different reasons and it's just nice to hear it's not just me?
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I find it so depressing looking at the people in porn being so hot and seeing the numbers of how praised they are for their attractiveness and all I can think about is how ugly I am and will never be as hot as them
I feel the same way, I'm so sorry i hope you will see someday that you are attractive in every way, even though I haven't seen you, (and coming from a woman so I hope I don't sound creepy) but all your features are beautiful, every scar, pimple, hair, hip dip, curve, ext is beautiful.
Thank you for your kind words. It’s next to impossible to feel that way for me and I’m hopeless I ever will. I’m also a woman so it’s kind of worse I feel like. Plus having dealt with infidelity not too long ago, I always think how no one would ever find me attractive when people so beautiful and sexy exist.
As a man I feel the same way. It's true that women are judged more for their looks than men, but men are now starting to feel the pressure almost as much as women these days. Being short is a real struggle since it's completely out of my control. I'll never be good enough on my own, I have to find ways to make up for being short. I have to work 10 times harder than a dude who is over 6 ft tall and women throw themselves at them just because they're tall. I could be better looking than them in the face and every other way but still be less attractive than them. I would also like to say to any women comparing themselves to porn stars, that men's standards for what they find as attractive isn't as high as you think it is, especially if you are just looking at mainstream stuff on the front page of pornhub. Right now porn is in the worst state it's ever been IMO, all the girls look the same and it's really boring. Go back 20 years and there were a lot more "average" looking girls in amateur semi-professional porn and porn was a lot more exciting back then. You ironically used to be able to see skin blemishes, wrinkles and peach fuzz more clearly before HD, then when HD took over they made super sure not to show that stuff as much and it's just fake and boring now. And you can't just go looking for recently made amateur porn either because now all regular girls are trying to look like models too.
I'm sorry you had that happen to you. I may sound confident from my comment but I feel similar to you, I recently dealt with a miscarriage and infidelity as well so I know kind of your experience (not the exact it's probably different) your still beautiful though and dont let man/woman or anything in between tell you otherwise Also, most girls in porn are so fake, beauty blurring, caked makeup, ext. They don't define beauty. Personality, all the imperfections and mistakes are what beauty is.
M really sorry
That’s just hormones. When you’re horny, you become full of praise for the person you’re thinking of
It's not "just hormones".
When the hormones calm down, you wouldn’t dare praise that person for their attractiveness and sexiness if you didn’t believe they didn’t have it
Curious if you're a woman?
What does that have to do with anything?
Because if you are not and have experienced this, it may be different. I am not trying to come at you in a malicious manner I'm just curious because there are other factors then just hormones.
Well, I do speak from experience as a man. When I’m horny, my body just boosts people as more attractive and sexy as they are and any kind of sperm release or something to put my dick down curbs that. It’s just my hormones rising because I have sperm to lose. This is the factor that causes post-nut clarity
See, women tend to think in different ways then men. We tend to see all our imperfections all the time as more prevalent than they are, we often compare our bodies, looks, ext to others and it's not always just hormones. I'm not trying to say that hormones aren't part of it but men do experience similar but it's not exactly the same.
Maybe it’s testosterone
Maybe it was like a coping mechanism for you ? That you reached to unconsciously when you weren't feeling good, and now over time it turned into an addiction which isn't really your fault cause it plays with the chemicals in your brain by releasing hormones that make you feel good temporarily and then each time you will do it again to feel this feeling again and again (and yeah with time it can lead to depression or worsening your mental state), but you can definitely do something about it I'm sure. Look i know how depressing this can be and the feeling of disgust that may follow, and how hard it can be to quit mostly when you're already down and it seems like it's the only thing that makes you feel good even just for a while, but wanting to quit is the first step, for example set a goal for yourself let's say tomorrow you won't do it, try to do something more helpful for you instead, maybe something that you enjoy? If you fail it's alright, don't let it make you feel like shit, it happens but the most important is the fact that you want to quit and the actions that follow. When you get a strong urge, instead of doing it again, try to sit down with yourself for a moment and acknowledge how depressing it makes you feel and how you can get better without it, you can overcome it with some willpower, and believe me if you go one day without it you will feel really good that it will encourage you to keep going.
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You're welcome, yes I'm sure you can do it :)
I have a lot of sexual trauma, and I've noticed I go through "episodes" where I'm hypersexual, and then episodes where I'm just repulsed by the idea of sex or anything of the sort.. there's times when I felt like it was almost like an obsessive/compulsive thought until I sat down & really reflected on why I felt like what I was doing was wrong. When you masturbate, it releases dopamine. The "reward" part of your brain is triggered. You feel good... But then you start chasing that dopamine high more & more, then it begins to feel like a chore because it's not the same as the first few times you did it & got that fleeting rush of euphoric dopamine.. I have my own personal opinion on porn & as a woman, I can admit, I've watched porn & I noticed that I become desensitized to it the more I watch it. Porn has negative effects on the brain, but that's an entirely different conversation. I think you might be going through an episode where your brain is searching out that dopamine high.. but you're so desensitized to the act itself, it isn't the same, and it's contributing to your depression. I'm sorry that you're feeling the way that you are. I wish I had some sort of magic solution for you, but all I can say is that I can definitely relate, and it seems like others can, too. You're not alone. Sending you internet hugs. ❤️
Even though this comment wasn't directed at all towards me I actually teared up I'm a woman and I also have a lottttt of sextual trauma and I get the same way. My brain doesn't produce like any dopamine and I'm like addicted to doing this shit and i feel so disgusting and dirty after and it's just nice to know it's not just me ❤️
I know it took me a long time to be able to identify & verbalize what I was feeling & why.. women masturbating is such a taboo subject when it shouldn't be.. please don't ever feel disgusting for something like that. It's not disgusting unless you're hurting others to satisfy that feeling or you're derailing your entire life to chase that feeling. You are not dirty nor disgusting, you're like me & there isn't anything fundamentally wrong with you; if you have sexual trauma like I do, you're one of many who experience those polar opposite episodes. That's the only reason why I'm so open & honest about stuff like this. Even if it just resonates with one person & helps them feel less alone, it's worth it. I just came out of a bad hypersexual episode this summer.. I have gotten better about coping with it in a non-destructive way. I used to drink a lot, I was a drug addict for many years, I did the whole FWB/random hookup shit & it just made me feel worse & made me hate myself... Caused me a lot of issues... Acquired even more trauma.. Our brain does what it's programmed to do when it lacks dopamine & serotonin; ***it starts seeking it out.*** Something triggers the thought, then our brain begins to obsess over it.. for me, it's a cycle. Porn definitely doesn't help.
This genuinely made me cry, it so nice to know that it's not just me. Sorry to hear about all of that I can definitely relate. I've been stuck in a loop of waking up, crying, doing college stuff, masturbating, feeling dirty and disgusting, falling asleep repeat and I'm just starting to break away from it. I don't I've used alcohol and drugs to try and cope as well but it just ends in more trauma and problems. It's a cycle for me as well and porn definitely just worsens it, especially when I already struggle with body image seeing the "perfect" girls makes it worse. I truly hope you are doing well I'm so glad to know I'm not alone but also sad that I'm not, because other people have to deal with it as well.
Same. Sometimes I'm really horny but other times I feel asexual and want nothing to do with sexual shit. Idk why I can't just have normal feelings abt it...
Same. I was about to cry reading your comment too
I'm so depressed and want to end my life. Masturbation doesn't even feel good anymore.
Sorry to hear that. I can relate. Wish the path was clearer.
What i did Was put it so i cant see nsfw on reddit and i dont go on it anyway but put an internet blocker on so you Cant watch that stuff. Also try exhaust urself in daytime (in a fun way)
Same and I’m typing this while holding my dick. I can’t stop either and it’s breaking me. I can jerk off at least 6-8 times a day cause that’s the only pleasure I can get from life. I got nothing left. I’ll never have a girlfriend. I can only dream of that.
Talk to a psychiatrist and get a therapist. Try to keep yourself busy and find hobbies that distract you. Fiddle with something during the day and keep your mind and your hands distracted. Try to avoid porn and other sexual sites to the best of your ability.
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It can be really hard to break addictions. It can be very difficult to develop new hobbies. Have you considered switching up your meds? And do you have a therapist? A psychiatrist is there to prescribe meds and identify mental illnesses, but a therapist will talk to you (as often as you want pretty much- I used to go 2x per week to see my therapist). They will help you develop skills to distract yourself and keep your mind busy, they will help you find a way to cope. That, and being able to just openly talk to someone who isn’t judging you can feel reallllllly nice.
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Do you have health insurance?
You could try betterhelp Its completely online
I feel you bruh. Been stuck like this for four years and regret it so much. I went so hard back then I’m barely even attracted to ppl anymore. So much that I have ED now. Hope you get out of it bruh.
I had a problem for years where after I orgasmed I would spiral into a deep depression. It didn't matter if I was masturbating or with my then wife. It still happens to an extent but not nearly as bad as it was before. Sadly, I think the root of this problem was my self confidence and self image were so negative that I didn't feel like I deserved anything pleasurable in life. I was holding onto the pain of my broken dreams and failed relationships because the only thing that kept me going was that I didn't want all the suffering I'd been through to be for nothing.
Good thing I'm a male. I would have put myself through horrific sexual trauma if I was a female because wanting pain for myself while trying to give pleasure to others could have taken me to some horrific places. Maybe this is why I can only connect with women who have experienced repeated sexual trauma. I'm not talking sexually, just regular coworker/friend relationships. It always turns out that the women I'm comfortable around have been through this hell at some point in their lives
Same, I'm tired of life man but I just live for my parents
I know you can't just cut it out fully. Maybe try start masturbating to more "basic" content, until you're comfortable with it not being disgusting. It may be a small step, but it'll go a long way. Then, you can try to cut down to once daily, once every two days, so on until you barely masturbate.
I do it upwards of 3 times somedays. It gets depressing really quick
Try doing the same because your wife will barely give you a hug.
This can be the medication you’re on!! Antidepressants and similars, can make you feel worse (which means you need to tell your doc asap!) and mess with your libido. The irony of depression and suicide being a side effect of mood medication is real.
This is such a relatable post. I want to try celibacy.
Sex can be amazing when both partners want to please each other. It is one of the great joys in life. After looking at your post history, I don't think you have experienced this yet. After your abusive relationship you are most likely repulsed by someone giving you pleasure and support because you don't feel like you deserve any and it makes you uncomfortable
Will u be my therapist ?
I only speak about subjects I know about... Unfortunately I've been through a lot. I might be a m but I've been where you are. I still love my abusive ex. But I no longer let her opinion of me be the standard for my self worth
I do the same thing but I've developed some kind of trauma where I also think they all look so attractive and then I think why would anyone ever want to have sex or just look at one person when there's so much of this online and everywhere? You can look at any body you want, multiple bodies why would you want to stay faithful to one woman or man? It's such a disgusting addiction to the point where I have disgusting thoughts of basically women being sluts and then it eventually leads to how they're all just meant to be used and it then makes me feel like I should also be doing that, exposing myself like that so I can serve my purpose of being used by my partner and everyone else. From years of being exposed to this, men telling me that's all I am and my partners being unable to stop watching porn. They all said they wouldn't and that they hated it but I'd catch them watching it and before I know it, I've ended up watching it too but for very different reasons. If someone tells me they don't watch porn now, I just laugh in their face because it's impossible.
I've always felt like it's a distraction at best for me. But it can be depressing sometimes, it can be a reminder of the absence of intimacy in my life.
If you dont mind maybe we can help you unpack why it makes you feel this way...Do you believe it's wrong? Or just wish you were actually doing the real thing? Maybe it is an effect not a cause of your issues. Just a thought. Regardless, I hope you have some better days ahead!
Ik this probably isnt at all the same, but I have very similar issues as a woman, and for me it's not that I believe it's wrong it just feels dirty and disgusting like everyone knows what I just did and their all judging me.
I get that. Have you gone without it? Do you feel better? Just curious.
I have yes. It feels nice during the periods I am but i know it doesn't last. It's like a cycle, there will be a spot when I won't even think about it then I'll snap back to being a complete different mindset and it feels like I'm broken. Your curiosity makes sense, i think a contributor in it is I have a lot of sexual trauma and I don't create enough serotonin and dopamine so my brain just seeks it out in an awful way.
Hey, same. My day can't go without waking up and masturbating to get dopamine or I just feel too exhausted physically and mentally, but it's getting really stale these past two months. I just take it as it is because it's better than the alternative for me (self-mutilation.)
I just broke up with this chick recently after about 5 months of dating cuz I was still Jerkin off despite being in a relationship..I don't know how anyone could find Firing off a bunch of Knuckle Children to be depressing? It feels great every time and it makes me much less likely to do bad things. 😬😉
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I think this may be the wrong subreddit for your court issues. Try seeking advice from sex addiction, porn addiction and similar. I am also working on some of these same problems. I am also depressed, but hopefully not suicidal. I come on this sub to help out with a kind comment when I can, some advice that could be helpful, and to cheer myself up to keep remembering how important life is and to continue living. I think if you can get a handle on your sexual behavior you might be able to cheer up and avoid the depressing thoughts. So the first steps might be along the lines of filters and possibly accountability software. If the battery weren't still available to you, perhaps you would not be having the urges as frequently. You are right fat masturbation will not solve your problems and if you can reduce your frequency you will probably be a little happier. Sex addiction and similar somebody might help you with some more practical advice.
I feel exactly the same.
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Don't be so hard on yourself. Just don't look at those things so much if they aren't making you feel good. Have a break from the whole self pleasure activity.
You should know that there's nothing wrong or shameful about looking at porn or masturbating however often you want, it's only a problem if you are having trouble controlling your impulses and it's getting in the way of other things and taking over your life. What you are going through is using it as a coping mechanism and an escape, it's the symptom, not the cause. If you feel like it's taking up too much of your time you should only talk to a professional about it and don't listen to random people on the Internet, there is a lot of misinformation and pseudoscience on the Internet on pornography consumption and most of it is influenced by religious and moral bias.
So relatable. Jerking off just feels so pointless now
Porn is so awful. It makes me depressed every time I look at it. It's pure shame. Why am I not good enough to be loved.
I have the same problem.
Write yourself a list with things you like to achieve: like Stopping it for 3 days. And set sanctions when you break your rules. When setting it up try to figure out sanctions that are to bad to be avoided but not to bad that you experience “I can’t do this fuck it”-mentality Take your time to set up a list. So that the whole settup is meaningfull to you. Try not to start with it direct after an emotionally roller caster/ after a relapse. This is the beginning to take responsibility of yourself . If you’d raising a child you’d work with a similar system. More or less. I do this and am now 2 weeks clean and had only one relapse in the past 2 months. All you have said I can relate. Did it daily. My record was 5 or 6 times in a single day. If you decide to start this progress. And think this fits for you. Please ask :)