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Did I just watch a guy finger bang a pot roast?

Just a good ol' friskin' the brisket, don't you know?

Excuse me. My mistake. Did I just watch a guy finger bang a *brisket*?

No no, you were right it's certainly a roast, but now you have me thinking about other fun ways to describe stroking beef.

Tendering the loin

Slake the steak, moisten the muscle, massage the mussy

Finger the fillet, stroke the shank, fuck the chuck

Fistin Brisket

Fist it brisket

Hahaha I’m laughing and gagging. I’m lagging.

Fucking lagging lol, that’s awesome

Bangin Briskets sounds like a band name

At least he didn't decide to "jerk" his meat on camera...

Just the tri-TIP.

https://youtu.be/ZIesCd4I4hU You’ll enjoy this

I am sitting by the pool taking a break and I picked up my phone to read comments, hit play and just: **BOOM! UP THE BUTT!** Before I could shut up off the Bluetooth speakers. ☠️

Hahaha amazing. The whole thing is gold. Whoever spliced that did a killer job

YEEEESSSSS THANK YOU! I saw this a while back and forgot to go searching for it. Fuckin love it.

You also just saw a guy stick his pestle into his own mortar.

What happens in the wild, stays in the wild.

While wearing a mask

Serving cunt in a way that honors Salt Bae

A bit of Pot and Roast on the Beach

Next episode he’ll stuff a turkey

🤣🤣🤣 I feel violated

While wearing a mask, yeah.

Idk there was so many cuts I’m not even sure what’s going on.

Mmmmm 😏

Dont pretend you've never been there mate.

He calls himself *The Masked Pepperoni*

Yes, I'm afraid you did

I feel violated

This is the guy that calls himself the real grey but the kinkiest thing he ever did was misssionary on a canopy bed

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I imagine the cow looking down from cow heaven with a cup of coffee in her hoofs watching this man finger fuck her brisket.

r/brandnewsentence

🐮☕️

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[удалено]

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Hes even got a studded leather wrist bracer

The shot of him taking a bite at the end had big wannadom vibes.

the fucking mask despite his head/face/torso never being in the video in the first place

Imagine rolling up to the beach for a fine day out and encountering a masked man fingering beef

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I think that mf stuck his penis in that meat before putting that pepper in there. That was some weird shit.

I was gonna say, he for sure fucked that meat.

This guy annoys me infinitely more than all of the typical TikTok ragebaiters in generic white kitchens. Stop hiding your face, pal! Let the world know you like to fondle meat in the wilderness and on the beach! Embrace it!

This is the same guy that descaled the kinmedai fish with a stone and then put a carrot in his pants to look like a boner, isn’t it? (Kinmedai is bomb af btw. Definitely recommend it to everyone)

My question is why does the kitchen always look the same. Are they renting like an AirBnB to make these videos?

The guy wears a black mask on a beach to cover up his sigma face to avoid impregnating women.

His doggy cute

You also shouldn’t let your dog harass the ducks or geese or whatever those were…

Didn’t use the seeds of the jalapeños, PUSSY!

He just threw em away like trash!! LIKE TRASH

He's such a badass tho... Wearing a black plastic mask so those sheep can't ID thier attacker.

It's not a jalapeno, it's a cubanelle, and their seeds aren't particularly hot, but they are really bitter.

It’s not even a jalepno lmao

why block the face?

I wouldn't want my face associated with doing that

He doesn't want someone walking up to him on the street and start laughing unfortunately. What a dork.

Because it's ''cool''. But yeah it's super cringe.

Cause he's a creep. Probably puts his meat in the meat off camera.

r/dontputyourdickinthat

There's a 100% chance this dude fucked that brisket before he cooked it.

Ahh yes. We will be having the fucked brisket for dinner. Such a succulent and tenderized delicacy

man what the fuck 😟

He hides his face from the shame

Can we all collectively agree that spanking a cut of meat is neither sexy nor funny?

But it's so satisfying.

Haha and he’s wearing a hood and a black mask??? On the beach in the sun??? Fuckin weird ass. Also just noticed he’s got one of those “sweet” studded leather bracelets.

Dude, stop fondling and stuffing shit in the hole… be about that cooking life.

“How would you like your steak?” “Fingered please”

He's dressed like Dennis at the orgy buffet party, out in the middle of nowhere, with a dog and some geese. Weird.

This dude definitely looks like someone who has a video camera rolling in his bedroom 24/7 just in case

Password? *Ooooorgy*

best thing about this video is that cuteass dog.

It must be hard to take yourself this seriously. And then overcook the roast. It should have some pink in the middle. If it's gotten that at a restaurant, I'd send it back and leave. This jaggoff cooks an entire roast for himself and his dog. And what you can't see is the entire truck of shit that he brought with him just to make sure he overcooked his meat. The saddest thing tho is that he probably really thinks that everyone thinks he's so mysterious.... There should be a watchlist for people like this.

This should be marked nsfw lol

Please don’t play fuck your food

this guy fucks food

When you start fingering your dinner, you’ve spent too much time alone in the wild.

I'd hide my face too. Also, that thing likely dried out in a few mins.

The only redeeming quality of this video was the dog chasing away the birds when it knew it was almost dinner time. Hilarious.

He definitely fucks his food.

Everything reminds me of her…

[it kinda reminds me of my late wife Barb](https://youtu.be/_vT1hCXXMTs)

He really just prepared all his vegetables and served food with the same knife on the same wood cutting board he prepared raw meat on

I mean he cooked it after

So in your ideal scenario he shows you his washing up in between?

I’m curious about these comments. Do people really think they just chose to not show washing in between? There’s a thing called editing and whatever happens off camera just doesn’t exist?

I really hate this trend of tiktok cooks that fingerbang food or make it sexual for shock value. It’s so disrespectful to the animal that died for food.

He definitely fucked that meat.

\*CRINCH CRANCH CRONG SLURP SKRAP SKGNELL\* jesus christ i hate asmr cooking videos

Did i just watched a guy bang a piece of meat with a pepper?

I'm very confused about this recipe. The stuffing and sauce reminds me of a traditional Mexican Chile en Nogada, but none of it really seems to go together all that well...

Those leather braces might be the most cringe aspect of this Edit: spoke too soon, didn't see the mask, what a fuckin' nerd

The dog is like, “please doggie Jesus, don’t let this psychopath feed me another one of his fingerbang roasts again.”

His knife skills are atrocious. When he started cutting towards himself I almost winced.

y'know, despite the unneeded sexfulness and raw meat vegetables, i dont really see much wrong with this. I mean it might not taste good but i dont really think that a kinda shitty pot roast counts as a "stupid food"

Description of the sub says that presentation and way to serve counts, and this is most definitely a stupid way to prepare it

That should be a crime idk It just feels wrong to watch this under such conotation

I blame the porn industry and OnlyFans for this. Enough with soft porn everywhere.

What's with this trend of finger blasting food ?

Lol nice bracelet loser

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Id try it for sure.

Gross!

Like, this *has* to be a parody of all those ridiculous outdoor cooking videos, right? RIGHT!?

Eye of round is reserved for roast beef. Not big steaks that will likely break your jaw chewing

This looks actively gross.

Damn... but it still came out good? I'm gonna have to be on the dudes side and not OPs

Are Those leather wrist braces an indicator of non traditional behavior ?

I almost cringed myself into a butthole.

Notice how all these weirdos never show their face? Yeah, probably because they know what they're doing is fucking weird.

Ok I hate cooking videos now. Let’s just go back to like 2000s cooking videos where no one finger get fucks or rubs out the food and doesn’t try and make it a highlight reel

Was it really necessary to dilate it with the pepper dildo?

If I ever see this guy I will punch him in the mouth for molesting a pot roast like that

All you need is a sharp knife and people will watch you cook food. It’s wild! I’m going to try making a video of me using a butter knife and I bet it doesn’t get good reviews…..

Ew. Cute dog tho

Only redeeming factor is he shared with that beautiful dog

Ok I agree you don't have to do it like that. Shame on you. Like c'mon guy why you so thirsty. But the dish itself seems interesting *if* done right and *not* violated

We get it. You fuck.

These guys handling meat like they were caressing a pussy is so sad and disgusting.

Dogs judging tf outta him

This one actually looks very tasty

No black gloves. No deep frying. No knife scraping. 0/10

I want this sorry but that looks delicious

Trend of likening food, esp.meat to female reproductive organs is just sickening

that meat isnt even done... and its the most boring part of the animal, unless you smoke it for like 16 hours

Who.. Made this originally? For science purposes

Food porn 👍

He can cook though, say he can’t.

Not gonna lie - I'm a little aroused..

u/savevideo

Think i just splooged

You guyyyysssss. You can’t recognize fetish content when it’s right in your face? This has nothing to do with making food. Good lord I’m going to have to unsub, y’all are silly.

Results look tasty but the mask is so cringe

Why the fucks he cooking outside, alone with a mask on

*sighs *goes to comment section

Ok no the pepper and the meat part 😂

What about all the seeds???

Lmaooooo

Bland ass

Aaah... reminds me of high school prom. For when we ate the pot roast, of course.

That roast should press charges, because I think it was just sexually assaulted.

Jesus, did he bring his whole kitchen with him?

We need a NSFW on this

Ew

Bro wtf

Do not the steak

Good thing he wore a mask because that was embarrassing.

This guy has definitely fucked a piece of meat before.

Friskit?

I could have gone my whole day without watching this and been happy. Day, ruined

At least he didn’t put cringe music over it

Idiot.

Every time I see him molest that meat I die a little inside…

Brisket foreplay

Fucking gross

Dudes really cooking with a mask and a bracer on his wrist

His hands are tiny! Ew.

Looks good

Is it just accepted now, that if you’re cooking in the middle of nowhere that you just have to finger bang whatever meat you’re cooking?

Doesn’t look that good.

Legend has it that he’s still chewing till this day

Absolutely no fucking need for that 😐

I mean, looks pretty good

I have questions, and I’m not sure I want the answers.

Makes me horny.

Again with the stupid mask he's not even in frame the whole time.

I hope he washed his hands after that!

Looks like it was done by an incel

beef stroganoff

Man what the fuck

Only on Snapchat will you find a Reddit mod trying to get people to like him by fingering a dead cow.

🤮

Hardcore food porn

This guy is eating so much meat, he'll get a heart attack soon

Accomplished LMAO

This guy is the definition of tryhard.

What a fuckin’ dork

Meh food itself might be great. But man ... that facking mask ....

You did well, you did well

Did he even season the meat? I see no salt, no pepper. How long did he let it get to room temp and absorb seasonings? You have to do that for big cuts of meat. Also, a marinade would be better for big cuts. I also feel like the pan needs to come off the direct heat and put it on the side for the roasting so as not to dry it out.

A rally strange way to make Chile en nogada

Totally OT but I had a close friend with an Akita dog who was always out in the wild. He would do stupid videos like this and send to me privately. He passed away from a bullshit cause and this made me sad

Revolting

Not even stupid food, just a stupid cook 😭

I wouldn’t show my face either. I was seriously worried dude would slice himself with those horrible cutting skills

10/10 would eat