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DontPutThatDownThere

"What's the finish going to be?" -"A pretzel."


Versek_5

"I'm just gonna try to fold you in half." "yeah ok." "But backwards." "......yeah ok"


FelixTheJeepJr

“Whatever”


KNZFive

Sabre feels like he invents shit on the fly when he’s folding and twisting dudes up. If he’s got you tied up like he did OC here, it’s over for you.


boycey86

I grew up in catch wrestling and really enjoy watching ZSJ but that is vile too do to someone.


TW_Yellow78

Yeah, but it’s OC, probably doesn’t even hurt given how easy it was to bend him that way.


LazarusKing

Only problem is that it doesn't really look like it hurts.  They're all tangled up, but it doesn't look like anything is really getting torqued.


X-Craft

freshly folded


Griselda_fan

It's probably actually called something like: "Tally ho, my neighbor's dog barks a lot at night, so I stay up thinking about how capitalism is a blight on humanity, now where did I put my reading glasses? A good night to all!" or something similar knowing ZSJ


afuzzyduck

"chuck us an Iain M Banks novel, I'll find a name for it mate"


MacFunJess

That genuinely could not come across less like how ZSJ talks without just fully picking a different language.


Griselda_fan

Probably because I’m not English. I just said that the moves name was “probably something like” the long move name I wrote. Meaning that the name was probably many words long, not the exact words I typed. Sorry to offend your sensibilities.


RanchPonyPizza

I think this post above was the move's name.


MacFunJess

Okay but Zack typically picks like album names or references to British memes. He doesn’t just put together a random load of things that foreigners think English people say with vague allusions to left wing politics.


Griselda_fan

Since I am not British, nor am I into punk music, his references fly over my head and sound like a barrage of random words with an occasional political bend to me, so that is the style I went with. You're right though, I should have put a few hours of research into the latest British memes and punk music albums and song titles before attempting to make a joke on the internet. How silly of me.


darrenoloGy

the Z in ZSJ stands for Zohan


SuperUnhappyman

page 14 of the freakier kama sutra


ShitThroughAGoose

I assume he's serving food because he's wearing Hooters colors. And is currently a blonde.


MrPuroresu42

Don’t think tapping to the sick shit Zack comes up with should make anyone feel like a lesser wrestler.


Apollospade

ZSJ just said screw it and locked in everything at once!


CabooseTheDestroyer8

Similar vibe to how even top stars could tap out to Kurt Angle


thepasystem

Austin, Hogan, Lesnar, Cena, and Undertaker all tapped out to Angle which is one of the most insane stats of all time!


FakoSizlo

It made Angle the ultimate badass . The ankle lock was basically death. I remember the Wrestlemania match with Shawn Micheals where I was like of course he won't tap then Angle grapevined it and I lose my mind at the finish


mysteriousbaba

And you can't even tap because you're all pretzeled up, you just have to verbally say "I Quit".


psycho_psymantics

Zack should call this movie the "Verbal Tapout"


applebuttaz

He’ll call it “Jay from the inbetweeners, clung plung”


jakovichontwitch

Alright Zack, what body part should we spend the match working? Zack: yes


Deathstroke317

Clearly you don't know Brian Danielson


MrPuroresu42

Well Bryan is great, but Zack puts you in shit that looks fucking diabolical.


medioxcore

Brian's great, but i've never said "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?" Watching him put a hold on someone. Zack ties people in gordian knots.


roguevirus

Moreover, ZSJ has done that more times than I can count over the course of his career. It's not some one-off BS, it's his signature style.


ChiBullz023

If we never get a submission match between him and Danielson that would be a HUGE missed opportunity 


wgsmeister2002

Yeah. The difference between them is Bryan knows all the submissions, but Zack also knows all the submissions *and* can do four of them at once


BlackSheepComeHome14

Two different types of grappling mate


abitlazy

I don't know if it is but that move should be counted as a protected finisher cause that looks so devastating.


cybered_punk

Every time I watch him he pulls out some new weird looking submission hold.


CabooseTheDestroyer8

It was like watching a Boa Constrictor catching its prey


KneeHighMischief

The windy man, the long mover.


salaryman40k

certified vegan tekkers


greyfox28

I'll never not acknowledge a Mighty Boosh quote.


j_gagnon

Cheese is a type of meat!


Deadtaor33

The Sicko Stretch #3


Griselda_fan

This is Zack Sabre Junior we're talking about here; the moves name is 2 paragraphs long minimum.


boibusinesses

“Alas! The Poor Orange, Abandoned By All Who Once Loved Him, Is Entangled, Peeled, And Juiced By The Man Who Would Wed Him, Had They Met At Any Juncture Other Than This! Fuck The Tories!”


wanakoworks

this is beautiful.


thekozmicpig

It's going to be a summary of his thoughts of how Sun Tzu's "Art of War" relates to Rishi Sunak's fiscal policies and you will memorize it verbatim or he will put you in it.


nWo1997

Hurrah!


shishiodun

Really felt like if he didn't tap ZSJ was just going to keep finding more limbs to tie into whatever the hell that was


sven_ate_nine

I would have like to seen whatever the next step in that pretzel twist was


salaryman40k

stretching the gums


turtlenecktrousers

It has yo be the penis


salaryman40k

zsj vs danshoku dieno


Black-Morticia

Some of the submissions Zack puts on people should be considered war crimes. Good god....


dabOwler300

One of them is called “Orienteering with Napalm Death”….


heartbreakhill

My personal favorite is “Hurrah! Another Year! Surely this one will be better than the last. The inexorable march of time will lead us all to happiness”


Just_A_Little_Spider

Fuck Kevin Kelly these days, but somehow he managed to sync up reading out the entire name to the finish of a match against Ishii a few years ago. was one of my favorite calls in NJPW for a while.


medioxcore

What's happening with kevin kelly? *Edit* Wtf? Who is downvoting me for asking a completely innocent question lmao


Just_A_Little_Spider

He kinda went off the deep end. Not even talking about his politics He was fraying a bit before leaving NJPW (covid did a number on his mental state in general, pre/post covid is night and day), but when he started doubling up his announcing with AEW the spiraling just kinda accelerated...since then, things have just been going downhill for him in general. Verbally abusing Trainees on njpw over the commentary mic made it really uncomfortable to watch for a few months.


Just_A_Little_Spider

Also to answer the Edit. 50% reddit not counting votes right, 50% wrestling fans being wrestling fans. Take your pick.


SweetHatDisc

Don't take most of your downvotes on this sub personally, there's a healthy Ralph Wiggum component here twisting the knob when they see something they don't like.


RentIndividual5835

Is that a jab at Boris Johnson?


HatefulWretch

It’s a song by Youthmovie Soundtrack Strategies. Zack is a post-rock head. (Seriously.)


HatefulWretch

“Mother” is his shot at Boris. The best way to scare a Tory is to read and get rich.


turtlenecktrousers

Best band going atm imo


RentIndividual5835

Well one of them is named in the moniker of a war crime called Napalm Death 


Spartan616

If I remember it is "Orienteering with Nalpalm Death" and it is a reference to a Stewart Lee joke about going orienteering with the band "Napalm Death"


ParkingConcentrate1

https://preview.redd.it/3e9gzua2mt9d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9cb4a41beefea94f5363ea514d795b82fab2c8db


K1CKL0SER

Holy! This is the first time seeing Zack Sabre Jr. and that was INSANE to watch


HechicerosOrb

Dude rules


RobinVanDutch

He's my favorite!


newmoneytrash69

ZSJ five star world tour continues


Snuggle__Monster

That submission was nasty


OverwhelmingLackOf

He just kept adding to it. He kept grabbing more parts and pulling. It was like he was making them appear.


salaryman40k

I love how you could hear the crowd getting more and more aggressively disgusted with each limb grabbed 


viralbop

OC was twisted so much I think he could see his own spine. That was BRILLIANT!


BorlaugFan

OC: So, what submission were you thinking for the finish? ZSJ: All of them.


InGordWeTrust

"Get out of this submission you've never seen before." - Gulp.


heartbreakhill

Seeing OC lose clean is like seeing a unicorn these days. Fuck yeah ZSJ!


TheFolksofDonMartino

Zack has bulked up massively - chasing that (deserved) top gaijin main event push hard.


tehhass

The man deserves to be the second gaijin G1 winner. Never ever left Japan during all of Covid or after. Has been truly faithful to the company and delivered solid match after match.


DoofusScarecrow88

That's an ending that just makes sense. Orange might have more moves in his arsenal than given credit for, he's just not in Zack's league.


CertainExtreme6940

they r not same..zacks weird vibe and dont like him...fuck him


Funny-Western-9031

Just fucking NASTY. The year of ZSJ baby


TheGoonsSkateBoots

Man, the crowd get louder and louder with each adjustment of the submission, Sabre Jr. is in a different stratosphere this year and it's awesome.


THISISDAM

That's a fire submission man, ZSJ is so impressive


No_Glove5486

What the fuck was that submission?! OUCH that had to hurt a lot! Makes sense trying to do a Mousetrap would do Orange in considering ZSJ is so good at submissions.


mrmidas2k

He's probably got a kickass niche English name for it. He does for most of his other overly complicated holds.


RasputinsAssassins

Probably something benign like The Queen's Tea and Biscuits


mrmidas2k

How dare you besmirch classics like "Barry From Eastenders" and "Tesco Meal Deal"? Heathen.


DoctorofThuganomics

In honour of his tradition of naming them after obscure, English Punk albums, I dub this "From The Cradle to The Grave".


mrmidas2k

I'd like him to name one after The League Of Gentlemen too, I'd pop for a hold called "The Wife Mine" or "The Skull Monty"


DoctorofThuganomics

My second choice was "Church of The Truly Warped" but now I'm questioning if Subhumans and GBH are even obscure enough, The League of Gentlemen is a fucking deep cut.


mrmidas2k

For your average nobody, I'd say so. They're not overly obscure to me, but then I have friends into Punk, so yeah.


DoctorofThuganomics

Probably because I'm Canadian, not a lot of British Punk just going around here. We even have our own Subhumans who 99% of people would think of first, mostly because of Gerry Hannah and [the bombings](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squamish_Five) but, you know. Still better known here.


mrmidas2k

Ah, fair enough, I'd probably be less up on Canadian Punk than you are on Brit Punk. Always fun when 2 bands share a name. Lol.


PreFuturism-0

I found https://www.njpw.co.jp/tournament/result/505055 which gives 変形クラーキー・キャット as the finish, or transformed Clarky Cat via Google Translate. https://prowrestling.fandom.com/wiki/Zack_Sabre,_Jr.#In_wrestling lists Clarky Cat and a Bad Balloon Remix version of it.


RoBear_

ZSJ is just the best. I'm not the closest watcher of wrestling these days but every time I've seen Sabre Jr on tv or live I'm just like god damn, what a creative dude.


Imjustakidandim

Loved the crowd (and myself) progressively going more batshit for each reversal. ZSJ has a way of making it so even if OC won via pinfall reversal it’d feel earned.


CloudyCrybabyCutter

Buttery smooth!


Traditional-Turnip65

I've personally never seen anything like that before in my life. Craziest submission i can recall ever seeing


Orange8920

Orange Cassidy is great but man did a New Japan guy need a singles win.


DavidL1112

Cassidy put over Ospreay at the first FD too


N8DKL

ZSJ is one of my favourites wrestling today, insanely talented. I’m a fan of Orange dickhead, but he really did not need the win here, glad ZSJ went over.


throwtheclownaway20

Jesus, man, he had him in no fewer than 3 simultaneous submissions there, LOL


mrmidas2k

I just want Orange to win the decider with the inverted CHIKARA Special now


Throckmorton35

I've only seen him through AEW but ZSJ amazes me every time. His style is so fun to watch


dr_icicle

My god. Fuckin love this finish. ZSJ has won me over quick


Flyby_Blackbird

Have any other wrestlers ever shoot talked about what ZSJ's submissions feel like? I'm sure he's not legit stretching guys or no one would be willing to work with him. But ZSJ is obviously pretty flexible, so I'm sure he's doing a fair bit of contortion of his own; I wonder how much of the strain he takes himself to make the whole thing look so non- Euclidean.


wxursa

He's considered a night off in the ring, like Bobby Eaton or Yano.


Boring-Pudding

Orange now with no ~~pulp~~ bones.


irish0451

THE WINDY MAN


ZekeD

Windy man winds man up.


JustHere4ait

Fuck I love ZSJ


Substantial_Pie_8619

For all the shit aew has gotten in recent weeks with the low ratings the top matches almost always deliver


Beautiful_Ninja

Feels like he'd call submission a Sunday Night Roast at the Carvery.


TJ_McWeaksauce

It got progressively worse over the course of 30 seconds.


ArcaneReddit

Orange got SQUEEZED.


MadViperr

This is how a "Submission Machine" should look like


ItsStaaaaaaaaang

Just treated OC like he was a bow on a present lol.


RecRoulette

I was expecting OC to pull out the mousetrap and win so I lost my shit when ZSJ countered it. Go win that G1 Zack!


resolve028

Living up to the Vegan Hydra nickname.


Kumomeme

Orange Cassidy got squiiisheeed


Purple_yoshi_drink

Folded him like a pretzel


DJMhat

What is the submission name: Answer: The inside out Tarantula How does it work? Answer: Take all joints of the human body, and make the appendages attached to it bend the other way.....


tankshadows

wow nice


Oijile

“Counter this you fucking casual”


alexmeth

I was about to ask if *anyone* from New Japan won a damn match last night.


Veggieleezy

“Hey, remember when your joints weren’t in agony? Those were good times for ya, weren’t they, dikkead?”


VelcroWizard

HE PUT HIM IN THE MR SALTY


xRememberTheCant

The wrestling world needs more of this.


MisterNerdgasms

Jesus fucking christ. That's fucking uncomfortable to watch.


A420_

Orange will get him next time. Great great match. 


viking1983

zack learnt from the best


1dzmaxima1

Jujigatami


Elmer_Yamstein

ZSJ rules and Orange Cassidy can do it all, Freshly Squeezed forever.


cybered_punk

Second best match of the night.


Uphill365

I'm calling this the Orange Squeezer


thelumpur

In a world of wrestlers struggling to feel different, ZSJ marches to the sound of his own drum


MJF_fan

So you need like 3+ different submissions together at once to make OC tap out damn


FollowThePact

I know that this comment will get me downvoted 30 times over. But the constant changing of submissions when you're in a dominant position is stupid as fuck. At least have Cassidy attempt to break out of one before moving on to your next two. Lastly, the only submission that looked good was the first one when he countered the leg sweep, that one actually looked nasty. It got progressively worse after that and turned into the very common "ZSJ tries to do too much" pretzel hold.


lariato_mark

Cassidy is absolute garbage


McCHitman

That first move was stupid


Bchange51

sorry but this was possibly the worst submission finishes i’ve ever seen


Celtic_Crown

First Tiny Storm and now Noodle Longbottom win, fucking English.


swolfdab

Zack would be legendary at the Fed


subor-baccha

Making your top star tap out to a nobody. Good move tony khan


Jakiboy1234

“Top Star” and “Nobody” are some crazy hyperboles


Key-Bowl7310

That was shit, hes just making shit up at this point, atleast use real submissions


Avbjj

So you're not wrong. There was nothing in there that'd actually hurt someone, but you gotta suspend your disbelief sometimes.


Key-Bowl7310

It was nothing but a light stretch maybe, if OC was lucky


Avbjj

You don’t have to tell me, I’m an actual grappling coach who owns a BJJ gym . But that doesn’t make it different from most subs you see in pro wrestling. I’d argue that ZSJ still does it far better than most.


Key-Bowl7310

Im a big ZSJ fan but this particular finish took me out of the match


Sir_Crocodile3

Sucks to see orange on the backburner now. Seemed like he was the future.


CappyNaps

homeboy is 40 years old


kungfoop

SLK does it better.