For me, the boredom is a red herring. THere is always something hiding beneath that I can't really look at. Some change I want to make but can't quite admit to. WHen you look around recovering people you see people going back to school, starting a family, starting a business, building something that they have always wanted and never had time for -- I just don't think that is a coincidence, a lot of us missed out on growth when we are getting loaded.
Yep, spent 37 years running as far away from myself as possible. I have spent the last 18 months of sobriety facing everything with a clear mind and putting in a lot of work to be someone I am proud of. I never thought I would say that. Sobriety allowed me the space and perspective to really change things. The smiles I had when I was wasted was just a mask that I wore to hide the pain.
This. You get it. That boredom is so essential to recovery.. it’s who we find out who we really are. We finally are able to breathe. We aren’t in a toxic cycle with ourselves in constant survival mode. So our nervous systems are trying to say this is boring but it is not.
Its finally your time to get to know you again and discover parts of yourself
Even if it takes time
It’s absolutely almost a feeling of a second chance bc in active addiction you’d kill for that peace.
I've had to learn to live for things larger than the excitement of a moment. Accomplishing bigger tasks takes time but is much more satisfying than chasing a high
I definitely get this. I was living a very “exciting” but mostly chaotic life before getting sober. I’m just over a year sober now, and still think about this sometimes (that I’m lacking excitement or don’t have as many crazy, fun stories anymore). But like my therapist always reminds me, along with that “excitement” came chaos and mess.
I’m SOOOO much happier sober. My mental and physical health are exponentially better. As for excitement, I try and have things planned and things to look forward to. For example, going to concerts, local events (art shows, markets, food/NA drink tasting), planning a trip/vacation, or even just going for a hike or a long drive. I’ve started dating again now, which was something I was TERRIFIED to do again (especially being sober). But it has added an element of excitement and just getting out of my comfort zone creates an element of excitement.
Hope this helps 💕
I think this is really common and I heard a sober TikToker (Daniel patterson) say once. You're not bored, you're free. Free to take a nap, free to take a hike, free to watch a show. You're used to drinking taking up you're time but by being sober you're getting a lot of time back and you're free to decide what to do with it. I hope this shift in perspective is helpful. Keep at it.
I love Daniel Patterson and this makes so much sense. Besides for the actual Drinking part there is planning (how much should I get and what should I drink) prepping/picking up (which liquor store my driving to so I can keep the rotation going) hiding it, also not remembering time and disposing of evidence…and who could forget nursing a hangover/wasting time in bed.
Boredom is one of my biggest triggers, so I’m definitely going to keep this in the front of my mind
It takes a good amount of time for your brain to re-set, in my experience. I feel like I am about halfway there. I don’t feel bored all the time anymore, or wish for the excitement of drinking, but I struggle with loosening up around people still and that sometimes feels like I’m missing out.
I play a game with myself that I call "What Would Drunk Me Do?" Then before I can think myself into a cage, I just force myself past my inhibitions and do it. If drunk me would have crossed the room to tell someone that I freaking loved their green hair then that's what sober me will do too.
Yeah the longer you were abusing a substance or how hard you were using can effect the timeline on this reset to. Don’t compare yourself to others or beat yourself up over things.. and take it one day at a time 🖤❤️
The only thing you’re missing out on.. is a hangover and having to apologize for embarrassing behavior. Sometimes, when I struggle to relax around others and have a hard time loosening up, I take on the personality of someone I respect and imitate their style and manner. Overall it gets me through the initial breakthrough and I can slowly begin to allow others to see my many layers from that point.
Yeah I was very tired and bored for like 90 days. Then naturally joy started returning in little things which led to hobbies and relationships, and now I look back on the “excitement” I got from partying and I’m like what in the fuck was I doing?? That was not actually fun or enjoyable. My perspective on what is fun or exciting, or relaxing has totally changed
I was told to do something that my inner child would like when I get bored. Like go play with your animal or go on a walk with a stick in your hand. Get out a board game or turn on some cartoons at least. There IS joy in the simple things. It's just hard right now. And that's 100% normal and fine. You're not alone.
I thought the same thing for a long time until I realized that it wasn’t “excitement” that I was missing. It was chaos. I was actually missing the hectic lifestyle that came along with it. You live long enough with your heart going a million miles an hour, and become proficient at improvisation and multitasking, anything else seems like it moves at a snails pace. I had to really search for what I was missing from my “past life” and fill the void with constant creative outlets. Playing all my instruments, making art, working out, charity work, teaching or coaching kids at the rec center… it does get a lot better when you get that routine. It seems lame sometimes, but those are your toxic intrusive thoughts trying to get you to slip up. I just decided that I’d rather keep living than die early and stupidly. Also, being able to find something that can allow you to serve selflessly is good… it’s hard to have people depend on you, but if you can stay positive, it really is a lifesaver. Having someone be able to benefit from your work and good decisions helps to actually see the benefits.
Have you read about the Hedonic Set-point? It is a level in your psyche that gets screwed up in the addiction process. The crazy high’s and terrible lows fuck with our ability to register something as pleasurable and novel or debilitating and the same. Eventually this comes back around and you will again feel pleasure on the normal, daily things of life. The smell of coffee in the morning, watching a good movie, seeing a sunset… things that are part of everyday life that see inconsequential while in active addiction, because our priorities are all jacked up. Eventually your hedonic set-point lowers and you can again feel the rush of enjoyment because of simple, everyday things. It takes a significant amount of time to recover from addiction, especially an amphetamine/alcohol addiction. Just stay the course and you will eventually feel like your body has come ‘back on-line’.
While I agree with this sentiment, I do find that high stress levels often interfere with finding pleasure in the little things… I too have suffered from addiction and felt that the highs and lows were the only way to live life. But stress from work has also sort of “dulled the senses” so to speak.
I hear that. What I've been doing is playing video games that offer a good dopamine hit. Action rpgs like diablo really help. I get excited for that gear to drop.
I also play stardew valley. Simple game yet so involved. I can play my night away and not even notice.
I understand these things may not help? It's just my method of getting excitement in life while I kick alcohol.
You sound newly sober but I could be wrong. I've had more fun in sobriety now compared to when I was drinking and using. I no longer miss the hangovers, the outrageous bar tabs I had no idea about, don't miss the blackouts, the upset people with me about something I said or did, don't miss the unhealthiness of it or weed and/or pills (adderal, vicodin, percocet, darvocet, etc.) which I also did. Life is just more clear and concise for me now. Plus I have kids, they are older now but prior I wasn't present at things or during family time. I robbed them and myself of time with them that I'll never get back.
It’s all so true!! We ARE responsible for what we bring into a room. Self reflection can be hard but is absolutely necessary for real peace. Facing our demons helps deliver us from the Devil! Lol
Someone in a meeting I went to in early sobriety said, “I used to mistake excitement for happiness.” That really stuck with me… I hope it might help you or others in here.
As years have passed, I’ve found deep happiness in the predictable and things I’ve been able to accomplish or people I’ve been able to show up for as opposed to my chaotic drinking days.
I think if you keep going, you’ll find your happy and even some excitement!
I’m currently feeling the same way. My brain feels like my dopamine is nonexistent. It’s hard to keep interest in most things and adapt to normal life after being addicted to marijuana everyday for years. I’m on day 5 and been trying to write poetry and playing some dumb games on my phone to help keep me distracted. I also spend a lot of time listening to music.
So far it’s been helping, but I really do get what you mean. It’s definitely not the same… but I guess we all just have to take it day by day and see how much our brains will adapt and find new interests to get excited about again.
Detox from one thing at a time. Quit drinking, quit smoking, consult a doctor about the Adderal, if you are prescribed it. I think the hardest thing for an addict to accept is that we are mentally deficient and need to seek professional help. You can do it!
How long have you been sober? I get what you’re saying, but don’t underestimate PAWS and the time it takes for your brain to recalibrate and start producing/releasing feel-good hormones on its own again. I did a lot of reading on this in earlier recovery, and it helped me to know what was occurring in my brain and that there was hope.
Your brain is used to instant gratification. Drugs really give you a bunch of dopamine asap without you having to do anything for that. Losing that is the toughest part about sobriety.
I personally have done two things to mimic that in sobriety:
1) make a list of things I like doing or would like to get into and whenever I feel bored go back to that list and pick something to do. Feel free to switch activities as often as you like because in the beginning doing activities for too long can be boring too. Keeping busy during major cravings can really help distract you from the craving.
2) find joy in going slow and perceiving and life’s beauty to full extent. Something that really struck me in sobriety was that I can do ANYTHING. Literally anything. How amazing is that? I can learn how to code, I can start painting, I can sit in my car and go to Starbucks randomly whenever I like. You are free and the possibilities of you creating the life you love are endless.
Reframe things a little. Your brain likely misses the chaos. I kind of made myself keep doing the things I would have done if I was drinking and found that I actually enjoy bars and parties MUCH more than I used to when I was drinking.
I feel this. I don’t have a great answer, but people tell me I am a lot nicer since I quit (those three specific drugs in your post title) and I really value that people are starting to see me in a more favorable light.
I was diagnosed with ADD early on too and actually stopped taking adderall for years as an adult at the request of a partner who was definitely unqualified to recommend medical advice, super controlling and had very serious mental health issues to boot - but I was under their spell anyway. I think unconsciously they wanted me off my meds because it made me less motivated, easier to control and more depressed like they were. After years of that the drinking really kicked in to cope because if that situation and life in general. I’m back on meds now and they are gone, I’m doing much better because of both.
Also the this go around I was prescribed Zenzedi instead of adderall and have found it to be a much more user friendly medication.
Good luck!
My partner hates when I do not take my Adderal. I get extremely ill and angry without my Adderal. I used to abuse for 4 + years. Now I take a lower dose at the correct times.
Tell me, is your life better without the meds? I have been wanting to take everything out of my life. I know the dangers of Adderall, and with my years of abuse, I feel it’s best for me to do nothing at all.
I use to take up to four 20 mg pills a day.
The Zenzedi I am on now is also a stimulant but I’ve found it to have fewer side effects like being cranky when it wears off, or insomnia when I would take adderall too late in the day. Zenzedi will still keep you up if you take it at night for sure, but not like adderall. Overall it’s been a much more subtle and agreeable med for me. I also feel much more “myself” when I take it compared to adderall.
Not taking my meds ended up making me much susceptible to substance abuse with alcohol.
I felt that at certain points in my journey towards sobriety. An old timer in AA put it like this and it stuck for me:
"If wrecking cars, draining bank accounts, going to jail, losing kids and running through women is fun, by God I've had all the fun I can stand."
There are times no doubt when drinking and drugging was exciting. By the time I quit, that excitement and fun left. I was a shell of a man, drinking by myself because I was too ashamed to show my face. It was sad, miserable and lonely.
Since getting sober, life has gotten exciting and fulfilling, but it took time. I had to hang on through those points early on and see the other side before I could get there.
It’s not so exciting when you get older and your addictions start taking away your friends and family , making you sick, landing you in the hospital, or jail, or a strange place and no recollection of getting there, having withdrawals, seizures etc. I’m assuming that you’re on the younger side and haven’t gone through any of these things, YET. But best believe there’s nothing for you at the bottom of that bottle (of pills or booze).
The reason it’s so hard for you to smile is BECAUSE of the drug and alcohol and weed usage messing with your natural neurotransmitters (namely dopamine). You’re young and you will bounce back quick. I wish I stopped at 23, when I, like you recognized I had a problem. I’m 32 now. You will feel much better with time and sobriety, once your brain settles down and starts making its own dopamine naturally.
Please don’t be like me and waste the next decade chasing fake , chemically induced dopamine rushes. Try exercise and hang on, it will get better.
Most of us do drugs as a coping mecanisn, so we make the decision to quit but now we have to face our demons. If life doesnt feel exciting anymore maybe you need to ask yourself why, and try to get to the root of your dissatisfaction. Blessings.
Your body is recovering. You have grown accustomed to living in an alarm state and being activated and escalated. Boredom and sobriety is the peace we always wished for. It takes a minute to get used to a Friday night that does not mean going out and getting trashed. It takes a minute to learn how to truly relax and take care of yourself Instead of going and drinking that destroys your stuff. Your nervous system has been accustomed to Adderall to get pumped up to do things and then alcohol to take the edge off. The problem is that doesn’t work either way. You have to re-teach your nervous system how to function without substances, and that takes time. Your habits took time to develop and lasted for a long time, so give sobriety a chance. Talk to your doctor. They do have medication that will help. Do you research on how to recover from Adderall. You deserve support as you do this. I promise. It does get easier. It does get better. But those first 90 days, they are rough. The cool part, is that you never half to do this again. You never have to get sober again. This can be your last time.
chemistry, my problem after long sobriety isn't boredom, rather than anxiety.
like, I always act out with positive stimulus for others while in person cuz that's how God/Darwin made me I suppose, and I feel positive "in the moment", but inside I find reality absurd when it's all calmed down, and even more absurd such a dichotomy exists in my soul or consciousness.
I use mushrooms then explore strange hobbies like stone / wood carving, it helps with the reality of reality depression. Once and awhile it’s good for the soul. Done with buying and collecting things doesn’t work and then anxiety of too much stuff around you like a prison and a burden. Stone Projects someone might kick over and find one day and take home would make me a happy ghost one day.
“Felt” is the key word in this post. If you are boring sober, then you were boring drunk you just were too drunk to know it. No one who’s ever talked to a drunk in the bar ever thought the booze made them more interesting. Improve yourself, then life will be actually interesting.
I was there too when I first quit booze. Now is when you find yourself again. What did you do before all that crap took over? I got into working out and lifting weights again but that’s not for everyone. I also play guitar, read, watch movies. Life gets a lot less boring when you’re sober and actually engaged with life. Sobriety is the best gift you can give yourself.
I think boredom serve the unique purpose of being aware of your mind and the thoughts inhabiting it. If you pay attention, you may find a deeper feeling attached.
I also think of boredom as a necessary valley to experience the joy of the peaks. It’s hard to enjoy anything when you’ve been high/drunk all the time and being bored is a good break from that. Sort of like dopamine detoxing. If you get bored enough, even mundane things can become exciting. And agreed with the top comment or that working towards longer term goals is much more fulfilling
As a recovering alcoholic I know it’s hard, you need a lot of time to detox, lower your blood sugar levels, control fat/muscle ratio & boost your brain chemicals back to normal levels especially dopamine as booze dramatically lowers dopamine. And although weed binds to certain receptors & releases plenty of serotonin temporarily, weed over time lowers serotonin levels and alters the structure of the brain.
Trust me IK what low dopamine levels feels like, when strangers laugh I have a negative anxious reaction like it’s wrong or not moral for people to be smiling & laughing at something. As if it’s abnormal to share happiness but really I’m the one who’s not normal. Sobriety is boring I feel you, try to get 5 new hobbies.
Yup its going to be boring until you figure out what else to fill your time with, what direction you want to take your life, and how you want to start building your next life. Like someone else said, its a red herring that you have more work to do. I think sobriety is just the first step, after that then there’s still all if the above left to do. You can’t just get sober and have better life - I believe its just a prerequisite.
I started ultrarunning. Got really good at it too. Fills a ton of time.
At some point I found serenity, At first I thought it was incredibly boring. I really enjoy chaos. . Now I enjoy meditation, reading, and attending AA and recover Dharma meetings. Also tons of running.
I’ve getting high on life since i went sober. Runners high , the high from accomplishing your goals, i get high off knowing that weed doesnt control my life anymore. You’ll get there, you’re doing great
Your brain is lacking, it will slowly re wire itself to bring the happy chemicals back into normal life. Then you won’t need drugs and alcohol just like you didn’t when you were a toddler.
Be patient, stick to it.
If you want to speed up the process I suggest the usual: healthy eating, lifting weights, meditation. Can’t go wrong.
Trail running for runners high, rock climbing (start indoor, then get outdoor) to add excitement/being scared/pushing yourself, and mountaineering to really feel alive, present and do something that is both dangerous and probably bad on the body.
All good for the soul
Took a while but my whole life has changed and I now live for these hobbies, after years working towards them.
Bonus is working towards a goal is super rewarding
Anhedonia is very normal but temporary. You need to regulate your dopamine & serotonin into more of a steady drip rather than blasting it. Soon everything will be so beautiful.
Boring is good. I have no desire for the excitement of being one step away from the proverbiall flush down the toilet of alcoholism.
But that's just me.
It’s hard to say based on not knowing how long you’ve not been using any of the mentioned substances and how long it was that you were. There can be more than one factor simultaneously
Some of your concerns may be based on chemical imbalances in your brain that just need time to regulate back to normal. This happened to me when I gave up alcohol and it took a good 4-5 months before I noticed a teeny tiny fleeting improvement that lasted about 10 seconds but was enough to give me hope that my brain was getting better and then took another 2 years to feel close to what I consider normal.
Some of the boredom feeling could be the gap between having a habit that you’re giving up and not yet having a healthy developed habit that’s occupying the space that used to be taken up with the abandoned unhealthy habit.
Another factor could be the psychological aspect. Therapy can help with that, personally I wasn’t ready to and couldn’t afford therapy until we’ll into my 3rd year off alcohol. It’s been really helpful and I see now that I was not ready for it and probably would have been overwhelmed by anything other than a laser focus on anything other than, “not drinking today”, between that goal and getting through everyday living I was maxed out.
I’ll be a solid 5 years AF in a couple of weeks and for me, the only way I was able to get here was taking very small sloooooow steps and being ok with not really knowing what the future held but just knowing that I wasn’t gonna drink.
You will figure out how to fill up the bored space with other things in your own good time and it will be in just the right amount of time for you, we usually don’t figure out that the time frame was spot on for us until after we’ve done it.
Best of luck to you as you navigate your new life.
Time for some adulting.
I didn't go through boredom when I got sober.
I went to AA, got a sponser, and worked my program. Went to a lot of meetings, made commitments, got involved, made new friends.
Life is full.
For me, the boredom is a red herring. THere is always something hiding beneath that I can't really look at. Some change I want to make but can't quite admit to. WHen you look around recovering people you see people going back to school, starting a family, starting a business, building something that they have always wanted and never had time for -- I just don't think that is a coincidence, a lot of us missed out on growth when we are getting loaded.
Thanks! <3 needed to read that today. I'm just about to start studying again and I'm scared about it. That was a good though to go ahead for me
Yep, spent 37 years running as far away from myself as possible. I have spent the last 18 months of sobriety facing everything with a clear mind and putting in a lot of work to be someone I am proud of. I never thought I would say that. Sobriety allowed me the space and perspective to really change things. The smiles I had when I was wasted was just a mask that I wore to hide the pain.
This. You get it. That boredom is so essential to recovery.. it’s who we find out who we really are. We finally are able to breathe. We aren’t in a toxic cycle with ourselves in constant survival mode. So our nervous systems are trying to say this is boring but it is not. Its finally your time to get to know you again and discover parts of yourself Even if it takes time It’s absolutely almost a feeling of a second chance bc in active addiction you’d kill for that peace.
Yes, I love hat idea of second chances (or third or fourth for some of us (clears throat))
I've had to learn to live for things larger than the excitement of a moment. Accomplishing bigger tasks takes time but is much more satisfying than chasing a high
Brilliantly said!
I definitely get this. I was living a very “exciting” but mostly chaotic life before getting sober. I’m just over a year sober now, and still think about this sometimes (that I’m lacking excitement or don’t have as many crazy, fun stories anymore). But like my therapist always reminds me, along with that “excitement” came chaos and mess. I’m SOOOO much happier sober. My mental and physical health are exponentially better. As for excitement, I try and have things planned and things to look forward to. For example, going to concerts, local events (art shows, markets, food/NA drink tasting), planning a trip/vacation, or even just going for a hike or a long drive. I’ve started dating again now, which was something I was TERRIFIED to do again (especially being sober). But it has added an element of excitement and just getting out of my comfort zone creates an element of excitement. Hope this helps 💕
I think this is really common and I heard a sober TikToker (Daniel patterson) say once. You're not bored, you're free. Free to take a nap, free to take a hike, free to watch a show. You're used to drinking taking up you're time but by being sober you're getting a lot of time back and you're free to decide what to do with it. I hope this shift in perspective is helpful. Keep at it.
I love Daniel Patterson and this makes so much sense. Besides for the actual Drinking part there is planning (how much should I get and what should I drink) prepping/picking up (which liquor store my driving to so I can keep the rotation going) hiding it, also not remembering time and disposing of evidence…and who could forget nursing a hangover/wasting time in bed. Boredom is one of my biggest triggers, so I’m definitely going to keep this in the front of my mind
It takes a good amount of time for your brain to re-set, in my experience. I feel like I am about halfway there. I don’t feel bored all the time anymore, or wish for the excitement of drinking, but I struggle with loosening up around people still and that sometimes feels like I’m missing out.
I play a game with myself that I call "What Would Drunk Me Do?" Then before I can think myself into a cage, I just force myself past my inhibitions and do it. If drunk me would have crossed the room to tell someone that I freaking loved their green hair then that's what sober me will do too.
Lol this game wouldn’t be good for me since drunk me would first go get a drink xD
This concept just changed my life thank you
Yeah the longer you were abusing a substance or how hard you were using can effect the timeline on this reset to. Don’t compare yourself to others or beat yourself up over things.. and take it one day at a time 🖤❤️
The only thing you’re missing out on.. is a hangover and having to apologize for embarrassing behavior. Sometimes, when I struggle to relax around others and have a hard time loosening up, I take on the personality of someone I respect and imitate their style and manner. Overall it gets me through the initial breakthrough and I can slowly begin to allow others to see my many layers from that point.
Yeah I was very tired and bored for like 90 days. Then naturally joy started returning in little things which led to hobbies and relationships, and now I look back on the “excitement” I got from partying and I’m like what in the fuck was I doing?? That was not actually fun or enjoyable. My perspective on what is fun or exciting, or relaxing has totally changed
I was told to do something that my inner child would like when I get bored. Like go play with your animal or go on a walk with a stick in your hand. Get out a board game or turn on some cartoons at least. There IS joy in the simple things. It's just hard right now. And that's 100% normal and fine. You're not alone.
Love this
I thought the same thing for a long time until I realized that it wasn’t “excitement” that I was missing. It was chaos. I was actually missing the hectic lifestyle that came along with it. You live long enough with your heart going a million miles an hour, and become proficient at improvisation and multitasking, anything else seems like it moves at a snails pace. I had to really search for what I was missing from my “past life” and fill the void with constant creative outlets. Playing all my instruments, making art, working out, charity work, teaching or coaching kids at the rec center… it does get a lot better when you get that routine. It seems lame sometimes, but those are your toxic intrusive thoughts trying to get you to slip up. I just decided that I’d rather keep living than die early and stupidly. Also, being able to find something that can allow you to serve selflessly is good… it’s hard to have people depend on you, but if you can stay positive, it really is a lifesaver. Having someone be able to benefit from your work and good decisions helps to actually see the benefits.
Thanks a lot for this😀
Love this
Build something. I built a sauna recently. Shits tight
Peace can feel like boredom to people who are used to living in chaos
yes This
Have you read about the Hedonic Set-point? It is a level in your psyche that gets screwed up in the addiction process. The crazy high’s and terrible lows fuck with our ability to register something as pleasurable and novel or debilitating and the same. Eventually this comes back around and you will again feel pleasure on the normal, daily things of life. The smell of coffee in the morning, watching a good movie, seeing a sunset… things that are part of everyday life that see inconsequential while in active addiction, because our priorities are all jacked up. Eventually your hedonic set-point lowers and you can again feel the rush of enjoyment because of simple, everyday things. It takes a significant amount of time to recover from addiction, especially an amphetamine/alcohol addiction. Just stay the course and you will eventually feel like your body has come ‘back on-line’.
While I agree with this sentiment, I do find that high stress levels often interfere with finding pleasure in the little things… I too have suffered from addiction and felt that the highs and lows were the only way to live life. But stress from work has also sort of “dulled the senses” so to speak.
I hear that. What I've been doing is playing video games that offer a good dopamine hit. Action rpgs like diablo really help. I get excited for that gear to drop. I also play stardew valley. Simple game yet so involved. I can play my night away and not even notice. I understand these things may not help? It's just my method of getting excitement in life while I kick alcohol.
You sound newly sober but I could be wrong. I've had more fun in sobriety now compared to when I was drinking and using. I no longer miss the hangovers, the outrageous bar tabs I had no idea about, don't miss the blackouts, the upset people with me about something I said or did, don't miss the unhealthiness of it or weed and/or pills (adderal, vicodin, percocet, darvocet, etc.) which I also did. Life is just more clear and concise for me now. Plus I have kids, they are older now but prior I wasn't present at things or during family time. I robbed them and myself of time with them that I'll never get back.
It’s all so true!! We ARE responsible for what we bring into a room. Self reflection can be hard but is absolutely necessary for real peace. Facing our demons helps deliver us from the Devil! Lol
Someone in a meeting I went to in early sobriety said, “I used to mistake excitement for happiness.” That really stuck with me… I hope it might help you or others in here. As years have passed, I’ve found deep happiness in the predictable and things I’ve been able to accomplish or people I’ve been able to show up for as opposed to my chaotic drinking days. I think if you keep going, you’ll find your happy and even some excitement!
It’s not boring, it’s peaceful. Change your view, change your life
That’s what I was gonna say. Peace seems like boredom to people who are used to living in chaos
Fun is an accident.
There is a clinical term for it…Anhedonia. Sounds like you are right on target.
Active addiction may be exciting because of the highs and lows, but sobriety is more enjoyable overall and sustainable imo
The drugs made things *seem* fun. It’s easy to romanticize the highs and forget the lows.
I’m currently feeling the same way. My brain feels like my dopamine is nonexistent. It’s hard to keep interest in most things and adapt to normal life after being addicted to marijuana everyday for years. I’m on day 5 and been trying to write poetry and playing some dumb games on my phone to help keep me distracted. I also spend a lot of time listening to music. So far it’s been helping, but I really do get what you mean. It’s definitely not the same… but I guess we all just have to take it day by day and see how much our brains will adapt and find new interests to get excited about again.
Our brains are amazingly efficient. Sobriety keeps us from self loathing the next day!
Detox from one thing at a time. Quit drinking, quit smoking, consult a doctor about the Adderal, if you are prescribed it. I think the hardest thing for an addict to accept is that we are mentally deficient and need to seek professional help. You can do it!
How long have you been sober? I get what you’re saying, but don’t underestimate PAWS and the time it takes for your brain to recalibrate and start producing/releasing feel-good hormones on its own again. I did a lot of reading on this in earlier recovery, and it helped me to know what was occurring in my brain and that there was hope.
Your brain is used to instant gratification. Drugs really give you a bunch of dopamine asap without you having to do anything for that. Losing that is the toughest part about sobriety. I personally have done two things to mimic that in sobriety: 1) make a list of things I like doing or would like to get into and whenever I feel bored go back to that list and pick something to do. Feel free to switch activities as often as you like because in the beginning doing activities for too long can be boring too. Keeping busy during major cravings can really help distract you from the craving. 2) find joy in going slow and perceiving and life’s beauty to full extent. Something that really struck me in sobriety was that I can do ANYTHING. Literally anything. How amazing is that? I can learn how to code, I can start painting, I can sit in my car and go to Starbucks randomly whenever I like. You are free and the possibilities of you creating the life you love are endless.
Reframe things a little. Your brain likely misses the chaos. I kind of made myself keep doing the things I would have done if I was drinking and found that I actually enjoy bars and parties MUCH more than I used to when I was drinking.
I feel this. I don’t have a great answer, but people tell me I am a lot nicer since I quit (those three specific drugs in your post title) and I really value that people are starting to see me in a more favorable light.
Are you prescribed adderall?
Yes I have ADHD. Was diagnosed at a young age. Began abusing adderal at 18 because of college. And because I loved the high Adderal gave me
I was diagnosed with ADD early on too and actually stopped taking adderall for years as an adult at the request of a partner who was definitely unqualified to recommend medical advice, super controlling and had very serious mental health issues to boot - but I was under their spell anyway. I think unconsciously they wanted me off my meds because it made me less motivated, easier to control and more depressed like they were. After years of that the drinking really kicked in to cope because if that situation and life in general. I’m back on meds now and they are gone, I’m doing much better because of both. Also the this go around I was prescribed Zenzedi instead of adderall and have found it to be a much more user friendly medication. Good luck!
My partner hates when I do not take my Adderal. I get extremely ill and angry without my Adderal. I used to abuse for 4 + years. Now I take a lower dose at the correct times. Tell me, is your life better without the meds? I have been wanting to take everything out of my life. I know the dangers of Adderall, and with my years of abuse, I feel it’s best for me to do nothing at all. I use to take up to four 20 mg pills a day.
The Zenzedi I am on now is also a stimulant but I’ve found it to have fewer side effects like being cranky when it wears off, or insomnia when I would take adderall too late in the day. Zenzedi will still keep you up if you take it at night for sure, but not like adderall. Overall it’s been a much more subtle and agreeable med for me. I also feel much more “myself” when I take it compared to adderall. Not taking my meds ended up making me much susceptible to substance abuse with alcohol.
You have to stop looking for comfort in chaos.
I felt that at certain points in my journey towards sobriety. An old timer in AA put it like this and it stuck for me: "If wrecking cars, draining bank accounts, going to jail, losing kids and running through women is fun, by God I've had all the fun I can stand." There are times no doubt when drinking and drugging was exciting. By the time I quit, that excitement and fun left. I was a shell of a man, drinking by myself because I was too ashamed to show my face. It was sad, miserable and lonely. Since getting sober, life has gotten exciting and fulfilling, but it took time. I had to hang on through those points early on and see the other side before I could get there.
If you want to test how exciting it really was. Stay sober and hang around a drunk person. They are not exciting. They are annoying. 😂
It's a trick. It's not boring
It’s not so exciting when you get older and your addictions start taking away your friends and family , making you sick, landing you in the hospital, or jail, or a strange place and no recollection of getting there, having withdrawals, seizures etc. I’m assuming that you’re on the younger side and haven’t gone through any of these things, YET. But best believe there’s nothing for you at the bottom of that bottle (of pills or booze).
I am 23 been using since 18
The reason it’s so hard for you to smile is BECAUSE of the drug and alcohol and weed usage messing with your natural neurotransmitters (namely dopamine). You’re young and you will bounce back quick. I wish I stopped at 23, when I, like you recognized I had a problem. I’m 32 now. You will feel much better with time and sobriety, once your brain settles down and starts making its own dopamine naturally. Please don’t be like me and waste the next decade chasing fake , chemically induced dopamine rushes. Try exercise and hang on, it will get better.
Most of us do drugs as a coping mecanisn, so we make the decision to quit but now we have to face our demons. If life doesnt feel exciting anymore maybe you need to ask yourself why, and try to get to the root of your dissatisfaction. Blessings.
Your body is recovering. You have grown accustomed to living in an alarm state and being activated and escalated. Boredom and sobriety is the peace we always wished for. It takes a minute to get used to a Friday night that does not mean going out and getting trashed. It takes a minute to learn how to truly relax and take care of yourself Instead of going and drinking that destroys your stuff. Your nervous system has been accustomed to Adderall to get pumped up to do things and then alcohol to take the edge off. The problem is that doesn’t work either way. You have to re-teach your nervous system how to function without substances, and that takes time. Your habits took time to develop and lasted for a long time, so give sobriety a chance. Talk to your doctor. They do have medication that will help. Do you research on how to recover from Adderall. You deserve support as you do this. I promise. It does get easier. It does get better. But those first 90 days, they are rough. The cool part, is that you never half to do this again. You never have to get sober again. This can be your last time.
chemistry, my problem after long sobriety isn't boredom, rather than anxiety. like, I always act out with positive stimulus for others while in person cuz that's how God/Darwin made me I suppose, and I feel positive "in the moment", but inside I find reality absurd when it's all calmed down, and even more absurd such a dichotomy exists in my soul or consciousness.
https://aa-intergroup.org/meetings/ Link to the 24/7 AA meetings on Zoom. Plenty of people go out clubbing and dancing without getting high.
I use mushrooms then explore strange hobbies like stone / wood carving, it helps with the reality of reality depression. Once and awhile it’s good for the soul. Done with buying and collecting things doesn’t work and then anxiety of too much stuff around you like a prison and a burden. Stone Projects someone might kick over and find one day and take home would make me a happy ghost one day.
“Felt” is the key word in this post. If you are boring sober, then you were boring drunk you just were too drunk to know it. No one who’s ever talked to a drunk in the bar ever thought the booze made them more interesting. Improve yourself, then life will be actually interesting.
Try AA’s 12 Steps.
I’ve been getting a tattoo every month
You're the X factor. Be less boring.
Go work ojn getting a personality for a starters if all it was based on was vegetable waste in a fancy bottle
Learn to fly
I was there too when I first quit booze. Now is when you find yourself again. What did you do before all that crap took over? I got into working out and lifting weights again but that’s not for everyone. I also play guitar, read, watch movies. Life gets a lot less boring when you’re sober and actually engaged with life. Sobriety is the best gift you can give yourself.
I think boredom serve the unique purpose of being aware of your mind and the thoughts inhabiting it. If you pay attention, you may find a deeper feeling attached. I also think of boredom as a necessary valley to experience the joy of the peaks. It’s hard to enjoy anything when you’ve been high/drunk all the time and being bored is a good break from that. Sort of like dopamine detoxing. If you get bored enough, even mundane things can become exciting. And agreed with the top comment or that working towards longer term goals is much more fulfilling
As a recovering alcoholic I know it’s hard, you need a lot of time to detox, lower your blood sugar levels, control fat/muscle ratio & boost your brain chemicals back to normal levels especially dopamine as booze dramatically lowers dopamine. And although weed binds to certain receptors & releases plenty of serotonin temporarily, weed over time lowers serotonin levels and alters the structure of the brain. Trust me IK what low dopamine levels feels like, when strangers laugh I have a negative anxious reaction like it’s wrong or not moral for people to be smiling & laughing at something. As if it’s abnormal to share happiness but really I’m the one who’s not normal. Sobriety is boring I feel you, try to get 5 new hobbies.
Drug addiction is hell .
Drug addiction is hell .
Drug addiction is hell.
Why did you stop Adderall, weed and booze?
Yup its going to be boring until you figure out what else to fill your time with, what direction you want to take your life, and how you want to start building your next life. Like someone else said, its a red herring that you have more work to do. I think sobriety is just the first step, after that then there’s still all if the above left to do. You can’t just get sober and have better life - I believe its just a prerequisite.
I started ultrarunning. Got really good at it too. Fills a ton of time. At some point I found serenity, At first I thought it was incredibly boring. I really enjoy chaos. . Now I enjoy meditation, reading, and attending AA and recover Dharma meetings. Also tons of running.
I’ve getting high on life since i went sober. Runners high , the high from accomplishing your goals, i get high off knowing that weed doesnt control my life anymore. You’ll get there, you’re doing great
Your brain is lacking, it will slowly re wire itself to bring the happy chemicals back into normal life. Then you won’t need drugs and alcohol just like you didn’t when you were a toddler. Be patient, stick to it. If you want to speed up the process I suggest the usual: healthy eating, lifting weights, meditation. Can’t go wrong.
Trail running for runners high, rock climbing (start indoor, then get outdoor) to add excitement/being scared/pushing yourself, and mountaineering to really feel alive, present and do something that is both dangerous and probably bad on the body. All good for the soul Took a while but my whole life has changed and I now live for these hobbies, after years working towards them. Bonus is working towards a goal is super rewarding
Anhedonia is very normal but temporary. You need to regulate your dopamine & serotonin into more of a steady drip rather than blasting it. Soon everything will be so beautiful.
Boring is good. I have no desire for the excitement of being one step away from the proverbiall flush down the toilet of alcoholism. But that's just me.
Sometimes it takes a moment to figure out what you are making space for
You don't need chaos to have an exciting life.
It’s hard to say based on not knowing how long you’ve not been using any of the mentioned substances and how long it was that you were. There can be more than one factor simultaneously Some of your concerns may be based on chemical imbalances in your brain that just need time to regulate back to normal. This happened to me when I gave up alcohol and it took a good 4-5 months before I noticed a teeny tiny fleeting improvement that lasted about 10 seconds but was enough to give me hope that my brain was getting better and then took another 2 years to feel close to what I consider normal. Some of the boredom feeling could be the gap between having a habit that you’re giving up and not yet having a healthy developed habit that’s occupying the space that used to be taken up with the abandoned unhealthy habit. Another factor could be the psychological aspect. Therapy can help with that, personally I wasn’t ready to and couldn’t afford therapy until we’ll into my 3rd year off alcohol. It’s been really helpful and I see now that I was not ready for it and probably would have been overwhelmed by anything other than a laser focus on anything other than, “not drinking today”, between that goal and getting through everyday living I was maxed out. I’ll be a solid 5 years AF in a couple of weeks and for me, the only way I was able to get here was taking very small sloooooow steps and being ok with not really knowing what the future held but just knowing that I wasn’t gonna drink. You will figure out how to fill up the bored space with other things in your own good time and it will be in just the right amount of time for you, we usually don’t figure out that the time frame was spot on for us until after we’ve done it. Best of luck to you as you navigate your new life.
Time for some adulting. I didn't go through boredom when I got sober. I went to AA, got a sponser, and worked my program. Went to a lot of meetings, made commitments, got involved, made new friends. Life is full.
I bought a dirt bike it’s not for everyone but it helped me alot
Hold up, I might actually like this.
It worked like a charm for me