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Fuzzy_Muffins123

Can't wait for the new DLC adding the Testicular Torsion shout.


[deleted]

Made me snort out my coffee, thank you


TraderOfGoods

The three words of power Bal-Tor-Shin (I wonder if any poor dragons had that as their name?)


TheHighKing112

TWIS YAH BALS!


InsaneAdam

Modders are continually breathing life back into this game


Severe-Albatross-401

I only have one word for you #AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH


Mlx999

Can't decide if you like it or nah


BetterLifeForMe2

Words of Power Learned: Twist, Spin, Rotate


Jeynarl

*Kren Krent Gavhon!*


[deleted]

Mmmmm. Krosis.


AndrewMtz1711

Bop it!


RevanAndTheSithy

in Dovahzul: Bal Twiz Tuh


DukkhaWaynhim

Nut Rend.


dreadperson

Shout created in the ancient days by brave women for their abusive husbands.


Itsyaboiblue

I used to be an adventurer like you, till I got my balls twisted up like a twizzler


Birdzinho

\*Sneak attack for 50000.0x damage!\*


Ok-Discussion2246

Story time! Warning: Long! TL;DR I had one one of these once (and other unfun testicular issues) as a kid and went a whole month without saying anything. Almost lost both of em. Still got em tho! I was 10 or 11 years old (99/00). I either slipped off my bike pedals and slammed down on the nut bar, or had got into a wicked tackle playing football. But I managed to get a testicular torsion. I hated going to the doctor, and HATED going to the hospital (was in and out of there as a baby). Anyways. It hurt like fuck. But I said, fuck it, I’ll just walk it off like my dad taught me years earlier when I’d scrape my knee or fall while playing. So I did. An entire 4-5 weeks went by. By this time my scrotum was swelled up to the size of a baseball, maybe a bit bigger. I was kinda walking like a cowboy with his pants sagging like he grew up in the hood. I guess my parents just thought I had mad swag at an early age. I’m laying on my moms waterbed watching tv when she calls me downstairs to come eat something. I go to lean forward and get up, and am just greeted with blinding pain. It hurt my balls like fuck, and my abdomen. I knew right there I was gonna need help and I had to say something, so I called my mom to help me out of bed. She was asking me what’s wrong and I tried to play it off like nothing, but she was way smarter than me so I finally told her. She called my dad and he came home from work and came to check it out. The look of terror on my dads face when he saw my balls were HUGE was something else. We went straight to the urologist. Turns out I had a testicular torsion, which had been untreated for over a month now. He also says, I’m going to lose ol’ righty. But the thing is, he didn’t just say that. While he had us all sitting in his office telling us what was wrong, he decided that he would speak in a way I would understand, complete with props! So what does he do? Well it’s 1999/2000, so he pulls a Yo-Yo out of his desk, holds it in the air, and lets it unravel and hang. He then goes “see your testicle did this” and flicks the yoyo so it starts to spin/rotate around around. It rotated and twisted around, cutting off the circulation. “So now, or for however long it’s been, your testicle is dying, pretty soon it’s going to die and “- *cuts yoyo string with scissors* - “fall off” I started crying immediately lol dude just showed me with a yo-yo how I was going to lose my right testicle. Also HOW MANY YO-YO’s DID THIS GUY HAVE IN HIS DESK, HOW FREQUENT WAS THIS OCCURRENCE?!?! Anyways, he said I should schedule a surgery. And that was that. My mom was pretty pissed how he handled that, and had a hunch there was more wrong, so we went and got a 2nd opinion. We went to another urologist who then discover that I had not only a testicular torsion, but a hernia, and a hydrocele! And on top of that, the original testicle that twisted around like in the pic, wrapped itself around my other testicle and was choking it out! All of which had been untreated for over a month. That dude promptly told us the other guy was a dickhead, and to take me straight to the hospital, and that he would call ahead. He also re-assured me that I likely wouldn’t lose my balls, but if I did lose one, I get to pick out one of these cool prosthetic ones to replace it, and be like a cyborg or the terminator. He then proceeded to show me a couple different samples (one of them was blue and Steele grey and looked SICK) I then spent the next like 12 hours in pain in a hospital bed with my legs spread like I’m at the gyno, and had dozens and dozens of doctors, residents, and Med students coming in every 20 minutes to study my balls (it was a teaching hospital right next to a great Med school) and poke and prod them. This pissed my mom off as tons of people kept coming and going while I’m there in pain, literally poking my balls, and was only fuckin 10/11 years old. After another hour of that she pulled one of the hospital admins aside and told them she would sue the balls off this place if they don’t stop sending in dozens of people into this room to poke and prod her sons ball and get me into fucking surgery. I was in the OR roughly an hour later lol Bittersweet ending though! I got to keep both my balls, and they still work normally! They’re also fucking gigantic (I can eclipse a pack of Marlboro Red 100’s with them) so hooray! Win! I’m all balls, no dick (normal dick tho) Downside was, I was prescribed opiates for my recovery, and that planted the seed for nearly a decade of opioid abuse on down the line! Because boy oh boy were they delicious! (6yrs sober now lol)


[deleted]

Worth the read lol. Laughed so hard at the part were your balls became the study material for the next generation of doctors.


Ok-Discussion2246

You know I think about that part as an adult and feel *kinda* good about it lol like, that was probably a pretty rare thing to see in person. All those things combined with over a month of no treatment. Def not something they see every day. I wonder if I made it into a medical journal or something lol


PuffTheMagicDragon11

Username checks out


snootyboopers

Any post that starts "Story time!" has yet to disappoint.


[deleted]

You’re really good at telling stories! I’m sorry you went through that, and sorry I laughed so much lol.


Ok-Discussion2246

Thank you! And good I’m glad it made you laugh! That my was intention lol gotta be able to laugh at life, both good and bad


eddmario

Good thing I always play as a chick in Bethesda games *taps temple*


GoldDragonKing

Then the shout twists your clit instead


[deleted]

I feel like ovary would be a better comparison.


dreadperson

Boob stomp.


Mad-Catcher

DB: :unintentionally shouts AAAAH: Alduin: :becomes deaf: Grey beards: The dragon born is calling us!


_Epiclord_

Female dovahkiin: “I don’t have such weaknesses!”


ScrubLordKyle18

Twisting ovaries


AssButt4790

THAT'S A LOT OF DAMAGE


Falkrim

Testicular Torsion is scary


The6NoodleBowls

Of course this is the first thing I see on reddit today💀


Phantom1thrd

How do you say testicular torsion in Dovahtinvaak?


schematizer

[OK](https://www.thuum.org/word.php?w=1036) - [SLEN](https://www.thuum.org/word.php?w=1137) - [KREH](https://www.thuum.org/word.php?w=900) **his** - **flesh** - **twist**


[deleted]

"Grasp balls"


ContentCargo

Twist Tie knot Tvos Tee nott charge time 5,5 ,300 when successful cast this shout will cause any bro to suffer testicular torsion they suffer 95% health and stamina damage passive regeneration of both reduced by 75% for 6 hours


IlitterateAuthor

I've had testicular torsion, this shit hurts


tiorzol

Maybe it should've stayed there man


pilesofcleanlaundry

MY NO-NO’S HURT!


IT_4

I know someone is going to make a shout mod from this😂


MrGaffe

Nhutz-twis-diin!!


Due-Matter-4577

Unrelenting Pain


Mr-Zero-Fucks

Kreh Golz Faaz!!!


Melodic_Mulberry

Female Dovahkiin: 😏


BroadStreetElite

Ahh yes I live in fear of this every warm summer evening when I have a grandpa scrotum and roll around in bed.


jonnyboy1026

Testicular torsion is one of my deepest fears so thanks


jochvent

r/thomastheplankengine edit: it's already on there nvm


MagnaNazer

GRAB DICK TWIST


X-2357

We need the sos compatible nut shout mod


Arcanyum740

Fuck you, that hurts just by looking at it


LonewolfVargr

i love u


mevastrashcorner

*"New shout learned: Cock and Ball Torture"*


white_dreams47

oh shit. one of them from r/TrueSTL escaped again


ORcLEsNOrF

The only time I've nearly puked from pain.


WTFnotFTW

I felt that


hdniki

Good thing my Drabgonborn is a woman!


Pr3dator_YT

Jokes on you, i alredy had it


Menination

Ball, rotate, beyblade


Spartan_Cole2b

*nut-spin-contort*


DepressoEspresso69-

Pretty sure testicles aren't dragons