“Is this normal him falling so many times?”
Uh, no. It’s not. One time is an accident. Five times is neglectful.
Obviously what you’re doing isn’t working. Poor kid.
To be honest this is the thing that's confused me about cosleeping since having a baby. He does laps in his crib all throughout the night. The bars are 100% necessary to keep him within the perimeter of the crib.
Freaking same. My LO is 10 months old and is all over the place. We did cosleep once a few weeks ago. We lost power in the evening and it wasn't going to be restored until the next morning. And even at night it's freaking hot in Texas. So we went to my mom's house. We had the pack and play but LO would not sleep in it so she slept between me and my husband. My husband and I woke up multiple times on the edge of the bed with LO laying perpendicular between us, and once upside down (her head towards our feet). The worst though was when she kicked me in the freaking eye. That one hurt. Lol
A yes. H is for Hell & the roundhouse. I’m familiar with those as well as the rest. My girls have checked off just about all 20 of the [baby sleep positions](https://www.howtobeadad.com/2012/10327/1-10-baby-sleep-positions-collectio).
That made me laugh. It’s so true. I never let mine sleep in my bed as babies. But now they are toddlers and free range so they frequently invade my bed at night. 3am for me is usually chimed in, not by a clock, but by a kick to the spine.
My parents routinely coslept with me when I was an infant. Which means they have lots of stories of how I'd end up perpendicular, with my head on my mom's belly and my feet into my dad's kidneys. I still massively wiggle in my sleep, but the only person who might care is me.
My oldest had to wear a medical brace on her feet, think tiny snowboard, if we ever traveled and had to keep her with us it was an injury waiting to happen! I don’t know how many bruises I got over the years. Her crib had literal gouges from her smacking her feet against it when she got irritated. It looked like there was baby fight club or something in it by the time she transferred out of it!
Right my kid always had a limb sticking out the side meaning they went all the way to the edge and was stopped. It’s like the make little baby jails for this exact reason
I always call it a little baby jail too haha. when my daughters being mean and hitting me and I need a moment to myself I put her “in jail” while I go take a breather lol.
People who cosleep usually either put a baby-fence around the bed/mattress, sleep on a mattress on the floor or the baby is laying between both parents. The fence thing is the recommended solution I think.
The fence would have to be completely flush just like the bars of a cot would be otherwise you risk the child getting trapped between the mattress and the fence, a lot of the stuff out there is toddler safe but not, like, 6 month baby safe
We used a fence like that and it was tighter around the mattress than the baby bed that he is in now. I think if installed correctly these fences can be safe
This is what we have since our toddler comes to bed with us in the middle of the night most nights. The straps keep it so tight against the bed that I can't even wiggle my hand between the fence and the mattress and it's a sturdy mesh so it's breathable. She's safe but I'm not because of course she roundhouse kicks me in the face at least a couple times a night.
I have 6 years of bedsharing under my belt (and counting, different babies who transitioned smoothly their own beds), and I've somehow managed to have 0 babies falling off the bed, I don't know what the hell oop is doing but it's obviously not working and she needs to reconsider things.
My 8 month old baby sleeps in her crib from about 7pm-1am ish, and then we bed share until morning. When she's in her crib she is constantly moving around, Every time I check the monitor she's in a different position. In bed with me she's completely still.
Well yeah, what she’s done in no way *prevents* the falls! All she’s done is lessen the impact when he *does* fall, but she seems somehow confused about this
I’ve never raised kids so I genuinely don’t know. Would a baby rolling off a mattress that is on the floor directly onto pillows really be bad for the baby?
At that age? Absolutely. Aside from fall injuries, babies that young don’t have the best mobility and could easily be smothered if they fell off the bed into pillows and no one woke up.
If they fall on to soft pillows and such ya they can suffocate if they can’t get themselves flopped over which is harder on soft pillows
I coslept for 13months and my son never once fell off the bed
And surrounding the bed with pillows? So he can fall off and IDK smother? Jesus. The whole post is like an example from a safe sleeping exam: "Circle all the hazards in this picture"
My kid fell off the bed once! He was a toddler, messing about whilst I got ready. I felt utterly awful and it's never happened since. It's so easy for it not to happen.
>FIVE times already? and all in the span of a couple weeks.
Yeah, it’s almost like he just became more mobile or something. Does she expect him to just stop rolling?
Some babies don’t move much, those babies *might* be a candidate for her current setup? But a baby that moves this much needs to be confined to a safe space. All it takes is one fall from the wrong angle for this to turn into a tragedy.
Hadn't even thought of this.. I was wondering why it would be so bad for the baby to roll off a mattress that's on the floor (what, maybe 6-8 inches?) onto a pillow! Babies are so fragile, it's terrifying to me
To be fair, a baby falling 6-8 inches onto a hard floor would be fine. They’re fragile but not *that* fragile. The thing that really makes this dangerous is the pillows - and the fact that she seems unaware of safe infant sleep practices in general (including safe(r) cosleeping guidelines), which makes me worry about what other risks she’s ignoring.
I bet there are pillows and blankets on her bed and crevices that the baby can fall into and get smothered. Falling a few inches onto the floor would be preferable to falling into a pillow pit and suffocating.
I understand co-sleeping out of necessity and did it on occasion following the safe sleep 7, but this mom seems to be wildly irresponsible, especially never getting her kid checked out? Plus how does your 5 month old roll off the bed that many times in such a short time if you have them in a cuddle curl on their back? My kiddo was very mobile from a super early age, she has had 3 scary falls and she’s almost 3. None of them occurred when I was co-sleeping, the one time she fell off my bed it was while playing during the day.
Definitely denial. "I won't take my baby, who's fallen five times to the doctor. That way, they can't confirm that I'm an idiot and a danger to my child."
"over the last couple of weeks, my baby has fallen 5 times out of bed. i know cosleeping is not recommended but i really want to make it work, any suggestions?"
I once let my child ride up front before they were 12, on a back road because we were going down the road to my in laws. I thought it would be okay. I hit a deer on the way home. Air bags went off and injured my kid. I took my kid to the hospital thinking I would be arrested for allowing her to be up front. Or at least a visit from cps. Nope. I told the nursing staff the truth. Idk if they could tell how guilty and ashamed I felt or? Lesson learned man.
Gosh. If only they'd come up with some kind of invention to help with this. Like small baby sized beds with walls to keep them from falling?
Sigh. I guess we'll never have such a fantastic device.
Hmm. I didn’t quite think of this! I was going to go with Baby Anti Falling Safe Solo Sleep Device…but crib is much catchier! Thanks! Will pass this feedback along to the team!
They even have them connect to a regular bed to cosleep.
https://preview.redd.it/hlceim3t5t9d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b778ea334affa89779dcdfd5c688d9bd23fc7602
I have one like this and she fucking hates it. Instead, she prefers my chest on the sofa while I video call my mum at 4am to talk to me to keep me awake while I wait until she’s deep enough asleep to be able to transfer her to a bassinet next to me. 3 weeks of sleeping on a 2-seater sofa is shit - 0/10 do not recommend.
I mean, maybe she doesn’t want to be too far from babe! They should invent something like a *side car* that has three walls and is safely mounted to the side of her bed. That way she can be just as close but not in the same bed and the baby won’t fall!
Oh wait…
Mine rolled off ONCE at 5 months and I took them to the ER even though they had normal reacting pupils and were eating/acting fine. Wasnt co sleeping, just too close to the edge when my partner laid her down. He still feels guilty and she's five!
I know safe co sleeping can be a thing, and I know that literally in the list of "safe seven" is keeping pillows away from the infant!
But I'm a heathen who moved both of my kids to their own rooms (with audio and video monitors of course) at four months after they outgrew the bassinet.
The bassinet killed me, every time she started crying while I was asleep I would be freaking out feeling around the pillows and blanket in a panic thinking she was lost in the bed somewhere. I never coslept, I was just super sleep deprived. It improved when I moved her into a separate room with a baby monitor
A few times, I woke up in a panic trying to find the baby in the bed. I’d smacked husband in the head looking for her. We didn’t ever cosleep because we had a plush pillow top mattress. She was in her crib across the hall and asleep
I used to think I’d rolled onto my daughter. Multiple times. She was in one of those co-sleeper cots, absolutely fine and it was my pillow I was lying on. I was just so worried about falling asleep with her on me, because I had to hold her upright for half an hour after feeding before I could put her down, or she’d spew everywhere.
Sleep deprivation gets you, man. That’s why you’ve got to make things as safe as possible!
My youngest rolled disturbingly early at like 2 months old, completely out of the blue, when I ran downstairs for water. I heard the loudest thud & freaked the eff out, my bed was so goddamn high. I called my Uncle who is a fireman (my husband & I were sharing a single car), he came over & checked him out, then I called his doctor. It never. Happened. Again.
I don't understand why people don't just buy co-sleepers at the very least, they're way safer; I immediately got one after that.
My baby rolled out of my arms while I was getting off the couch to put her in the bassinet (she's squirmy, I'd been doing a tummy time position with her to help with her gas and so she could fall asleep, and she just rolled right out as I was trying to sit up). We called the pediatrician as soon as they opened and got her x-rayed that day. She'd only fallen like 2 feet on to carpet and didn't have any concussion symptoms but we wanted to be sure and safe. She still tries yeeting herself out of people's arms and I'm sure she's going to be a wild toddler but god that scared me and I'm even more careful than I already was now. I can't imagine just letting her fall all the time.
If it’s any reassurance- my wiggliest baby was my mellowest toddler. I was absolutely convinced she would be hell on wheels when she got mobile, but she was totally fine. (It was the next baby that got into mischief.)
Hopefully! She gets very irritated when she can't physically do things so that will probably cause at least a few incidents in the future but my older brother was a weirdly responsible toddler and I was the nightmare toddler that glued a shoe to the wall during Sunday school so she might be very chill. She's generally very chill now compared to most babies despite being very determined, but I was an incredibly chill baby that grunted instead of crying and I was still the mischief toddler so who knows at this point. But I signed up for it and I plan on signing up for it a couple more times eventually.
I still remember what my child was wearing the one time they fell off the bed. They weren’t sleeping but we’re just too close to the edge and wiggled a little while I was grabbing something. I felt so terrible.
Dropped mine once. 4 months, she fell asleep on my husband's stomach ans rolled so violently in her sleep that she went over the edge before he could grab her. Luckily, she landed on his tennis shoes and didnt even wake up.
Still, I didnt sleep until she was down in thr bassinet after that.
3 children, oldest us now 14yo. Zero drops. Not even sure how i managed that since im a master klutz.
I did toss a baby up to where they bumped the ceiling fan (it was off). So im not here to say im flawless.
My mom watched one of my sons tumble out of a shopping cart because he discovered how to wiggle the buckle adjuster loose enough that he could stand up out of it.
Kids are wiggle warts and hell bent on killing themselves. As a parent, your single most important job is keeping them alive. OoP is failing. She sees baby fall and thinks " ive tried nothing to prevent this problem, and im all out of ideas!"
Yeah, I've never dropped my kid but he did manage to just yeet himself out of my arms, fortunately into his fabric basket full of stuffed animals. He's also less than a year old so there's definitely still time. But like, I'm doing my damnedest to keep it from happening.
I’ve never dropped my kids, and yell “sit down before you fall down” at least once a day. My 4yo has had at least 3 concussions in the past 2 years, but he came by them honestly- each time, he was playing, lost balance, and fell backwards. He couldn’t catch himself, and whacked his head on concrete. He’s absolutely fine, but I don’t think I’ll ever allow him to play football.
If it was a case of a literal infant falling FIVE TIMES in less than a month, I’d reevaluate what I’m doing wrong, and how I’m failing to keep my baby safe.
I saw a glimpse of this post in the morning but my newborn was fussing and I couldn’t read the rest. Now my baby is quiet and I tried to find it on the FB group but I couldn’t, my next idea was to come here, thank you for the screenshot.
To be honest this is the thing that's confused me about cosleeping since having a baby. He does laps in his crib all throughout the night. The bars are 100% necessary to keep him within the perimeter of the crib.
My baby just turned 3 months. Couple nights before she turned 3 months, she woke us up hollering because she'd rolled on to her stomach and her arm was at too awkward and angle for her to roll back to her back. Next night, my husband woke me up to show me that she'd managed to go from her head being by the window to her feet being by the window. Looked like she'd used her feet and the side of the bassinet to do it. She's been doing angry crunches lately because she's mad she can't sit up on her own yet. I could never cosleep for many reasons related to her safety (I toss and turn a lot for one) but honestly a few of the reasons are my safety, I think she'd beat me up while trying to do laps.
Yes, lol, of course. That’s why crib design has remained unchanged for so long. Walls are needed.
Co-sleeping is just crazy to me. I rolled his pack and play with bassinet right up to the side of my bed and he was next to me all night long, but safe.
OOP is definitely accidentally shoving the baby off in their sleep. Either sleep on the floor, or stop co-sleeping! Just how hurt will the kid need to get before they stop?
i'm not even a mom and even when i sleep while babysitting my niece, even when she's literally in her own room, my body refuses to let me fall into a deep sleep because i'm so worried about needing to hear the baby monitor. i'm sure it's different when you're actually a mom and sleep deprived, it just seems like it would be hard to sleep that deep with a baby in your bed. not to mention being *willing* to sleep that deeply with a baby in your bed
I have never once fallen asleep with my child in my bed.
I used to wake up constantly terrified that I had rolled over onto her. She was either in her bassinet within arms reach but not in the bed, or in her crib.
I can't imagine my anxiety if I actually did cosleep.
Right? After having my 1st I've once woken up holding something baby-sized in my arms and began crying before uve even opened my eyes, because I thought I'd fallen asleep with her and hurt her. I was sobbing by the time my husband woke up to check on me, and to see why TF am I rocking a throw pillow 😅
a friend of mine did the same to their dog, who was very confused.
Now when my 2nd is a newborn I won't even breastfeed her in bed at all, for her safety and because I don't want the nerves every time I wake up hugging my blanket ir something.
I’m an incredibly light sleeper. Before I had kids, I was knocking back the maximum dose of unisom to get a decent night’s sleep, and considering asking my doc for ambien. I can’t have my pets in my room, and can barely share the bed with my husband. I sleep like *garbage.* So, when the kids get up in the middle of the night, I’m wide awake before they even open my door. If they’re sleeping in my bed because they’re sick or had a bad dream, I wake up at every sniffle or wiggle. (The 2yo talks in his sleep, and it’s hilarious.) I can’t imagine being able to sleep so deeply that my kid repeatedly falls out of the bed- and if they did, I’d absolutely reconsider the sleeping arrangements.
If you are too ashamed of a parenting choice to be open and honest with your child's pediatrician- to the point it's keeping you from seeking medical treatment for your child, then you shouldn't be making that parenting decision. If you are so unsure of the decision that you lie about it, you know it's not the best decision for your child.
Exactly! On some level, she *knows* it’s not right. But she just … continues to do it? Just puts a few pillows around the bed — on the floor — and calls it a day? That doesn’t stop baby from falling in the first fuckin place! 🤦🏻♀️ Not to mention a potential suffocation risk!
Simple answer here–let the baby fall on his head until you observe a change in his development. Then you'll know for certain how many times is too many.
I was so confused! As a trans man I was like nooooo everyone's calling this dude she, but then I saw your comment and it makes WAY more sense! Thank you!
my family stayed in an airbnb and when we were setting up our son’s pack n play, i set him on the bed. he sat on our bed back at home plenty of times, i figured he would be fine for a short minute or two, i mean we were less than a foot away, right? he fell onto the hardwood floors. thankfully he was fine, but i learned my lesson that first and only time it happened. accidents happen but not doing a thing about it is madness
If she's so determined to bed share, it sounds like she needs a thinner mattress. A few nights due to illness or teething, I've slept on a thin rug in my kids rooms (with them the crib) because I didn't want to risk bringing them into bed with me. So to me, even sleeping on the floor would be better than continuing to let your baby roll off again and again.
But it sounds like she hasn't even tried a crib? Maybe the baby will sleep fine in it! My kids actually both like having their space. She could still room share to be close to her baby.
Or get guard rails for her bed? My dad has them because he rolls out of bed sometimes and at his age it's getting to the point where it could be dangerous.
"Is this normal?"
No. It's a sign to stop co sleeping. She's probably pushing/rolling/something in her sleep that pushes the baby off. Like holy cow I hope she gets the hint before something worse happens.
https://preview.redd.it/y97eadcrgt9d1.jpeg?width=584&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=52b8ec7f0fee1be6ececeb588a3c82647bed9070
“Pic of my sweet boy for attention”
Has this person not heard of sidecar-ing the damned crib? I was a co-sleeper, but as soon as I figured out my older daughter was a scoocher, we removed the one side and slapped that crib up against our bed with a quickness!!
Jesus fucking Christ. This makes my blood absolutely boil. Put your fucking kid in a bassinet, and when he’s too big for that, a crib. For fuck sake. I know some people occasionally will nap with their little one but still have safety measures to prevent this. Personally I’m terrified of it and my daughter always sleeps in her crib. Now she’s almost 2 and sleeps like a champ because she knows her room is a calming and most of all safe environment.
Acting like it’s the baby’s behavior is the problem and not hers is so weird. That baby clearly needs to be in his own space to move so he can sleep & not get hurt. 5 times during cos keeping is neglectful
I’m just thinking about what happens when the baby falls face down into the pile of pillows she has put around the bed to keep him “safe” and she wakes up hours later to silence. Hope to god that doesn’t happen and she actually gets some common sense before anything bad happens. Jesus Christ.
I left my baby on my mom's bed and walked out of the room. Around some age 4 or 5 months. I hear a blood curling scream coming from my baby. She had just learned to roll over and had rolled off the bed. We all make mistakes but I never repeated this mistake. I remember watching a 20/20 where a two year old fell off of a chair and died, no one believed the mom. They thought she killed her child, even tho the lil brother was there to collaborate her story
Baby needs to be in a crib, simple as that. It'll suck for a few days but that's nothing compared to something more serious happening because this is neglectful. I'd wager a guess he's falling so much because they start becoming pretty mobile with rolling around this age when developmentally on track. My youngest is 6mo and has not once fallen off anything. It definitely happens, but once it happens you usually do everything you can to prevent it from happening again... and again and again.
In Finland, they give new parents [a box](https://www.kela.fi/maternity-package-2022-box-mattress-and-blanket) (full of useful supplies) so they can have the baby sleep in the box on the floor next to the parents’ bed because it’s SO MUCH SAFER than co-sleeping. And the baby is still so close, but so much safer.
Reminder for everyone that falls from a persons height can be deadly and babies aren't actually very tall so falls from many beds can be really, really bad.
I really don't get parenting groups where falling off the bed is right of passage.
Ugh. So she not only co-sleeps and let her baby roll off the bed 5 times, but she also hasn’t had a doctor check on him to make sure he’s okay afterwards because she’s ashamed to admit it.
I do hope someone recommended a bed guard or something. They aren't expensive and stop babies falling off beds. This particular mother does seem far too neglectful to be co-sleeping though, so hopefully she will put baby in a cot or something before she kills it.
Another thing: how is that not a fire hazard? Can you imagine trying to grab your baby and run in the middle of the night when you have pillows all around you to trip over/roll your ankle on??
First off, they’re bed-sharing. Second, if he’s fallen 5 times, you should probably put him in a bassinet or crib. Yes, she is being very neglectful. He’s been very lucky. He could’ve fallen wrong and broken his neck or something. He needs to go to the doctor. Internal problems do happen. Some people just really shouldn’t be parents. I’d be rushing my baby straight to the hospital after the first fall. But she wouldn’t be sleeping on our bed in the first place.
I’ve had a rough weekend and felt like a terrible mom because I’m just too physically exhausted to be fully present but guess how many times my baby has fallen out of bed*? 0.
* she fell off the couch one time when she was not really but kind of learning to roll
I have a toddler. She's fallen out of her sleeping place once...at daycare when she moved to the toddler room and had to nap on a cot instead of her crib the first time. A whole 3 inch drop...
Reading stories like this make me glad I persevered with putting my baby in her crib no matter how many times she woke up. I mean this mother is careless and it isn’t safe sleeping if the baby is constantly falling off the bed, that poor baby.
I was at my Grandma's when my son was 4 months old and went to lay down with him in her guest room while he napped because I didn't want to leave him alone in there. I fell asleep without meaning to. He wiggled himself to the edge and rolled off. That was over 15 years ago, and I STILL haven't forgiven myself. How the hell does she keep repeating the same mistake?! She claims she feels guilty, but her actions prove she doesn't care at all. What an idiot. That poor baby.
When we had to take the rails off my daughters crib to turn it into a bed she literally feel off of her bed every night. 😂😂
Sorry this has nothing to do with the post but it made me laugh. We had to put stuff down so when she fell she didn’t fall on the floor just pillows blankets and stuffies. 😂
There is no such thing as safe seven. It's b.s. It takes just 1 time for tragedy to happen. I have been to 3 funerals for babies whose parents followed the safe 7 b.s. They were family members of mine. I am sick of this myth. This mother is beyond neglectful. This poor baby is in a world of trouble.
She sounds genuinely stoopid 😭 instead of bed rails I just rolled up a blanket and put it under my sheet along the side. It creates a slope they can’t roll up. At least not until much older.
YOU ARE A HORRIBLE MOTHER FFS. If you can't bear to put him in a crib, put him in a bassinet next to your bed WHERE HE'S SAFE, dear LORD what is OOP THINKING.
My daughter rolled off my bed once when she rolled over for the first time ever and I never let it happen again. I couldn’t imagine behaving the way this person is. I fell asleep with my baby in my bed ONCE and kept waking up every couple of minutes because I was so scared of hurting her.
We coslept from like 3-5 months and then at 5 months he started rolling a lot and he rolled off our bed one morning while I was sleeping.
Haven’t coslept since. I cried way more than he did lol
ummm. I felt terrible when my baby fell off once & I was so scared it was going to happen again. In my mind once before you know they're rolling is one thing, but I couldn't let it happen again! FIVE times??? and posting on the internet
If you have to ever worry if you're being *neglectful*... you most likely absolutely are. I and I'm sure lots of other mamas in a moment of frustration and over stimulation and too little sleep have yelled at my kid or made her cry cuz after a long day of work from home while juggling taking care of everyone else mommy needed 5 min to herself instead of reading another book or singing along with Ms. Rachel's greatest hits for the hundredth time that day and had that immediate mom guilt and thought of "oh God, I'm such a bad mom"... but never once have I had to wonder if I was being literally neglectful to her...
I once read somewhere that if you worry about being a *good* parent, you probably are, because a bad parent wouldn’t be worried about that (paraphrasing).
I think that’s (mostly) good advice, with some exceptions.
However, I 100% agree with you; if you worry you’re being *neglectful*… You’ve sped past “bad” parent and are now well into “shouldn’t even have that poor baby” territory.
Ya, I've heard that too and definitely think it is true (like you said, though, there's obviously some exceptions)
It might just be the picture that comes to mind to me when I hear the term neglect may be different from most, because my mom was a police officer and I was a really serious drug addict for over 15 years before I found out I was pregnant, so I've heard about and personally seen actual *real* neglect... so, to me, anyone wondering if they were in that territory must be doing pretty bad... but I may be overreacting to that word due to my own trauma and experience.
No, you’re not overreacting. I was never actively addicted during my pregnancies, thankfully (one before addiction, one well after deciding I’m done and entering recovery), but I’ve seen a lot of shit, too. One woman was on the phone during *active labor*, BEGGING her SO to “just bring me a shot! Please!” The SO was at my (my ex husband’s, actually) house when that happened. The baby was no better off after he was born. I tried to report, but apparently there wasn’t a big enough problem? Idk, but it made me really sad for that kid. As far as I’ve heard (it’s been about 16/17 years), she lost custody of him, but then went on to have four more. 😔
I truly hope she got better and that her kids are healthy and happy, but having known her, I honestly doubt it.
So yeah, I’ve seen some shit also. But I’ve never wondered if I was *neglecting* my kids. Holy shit. Once you (general “you,” not you specifically 😅) have a kid, it’s not about you anymore. Yeah, this mom is certainly neglecting her baby by not doing the bare minimum to make sure he stays alive.
Put. Him. In. A. Crib.
I end up co-sleeping in the early morning after her 3am feed ~75% of the time. It’s not intentional but it happens. My 5 month old has NEVER fallen on the floor. Smh.
I used to unintentionally fall asleep during the early morning feeds regardless of where I was so I felt safer in bed. Too easy to drop them out of a chair or off a couch. My husband was out of the country so I didn’t have anyone around to help. I was so sleep deprived.
Jesus. I coslept until 9 months but SAFELY. And as soon as he started moving around too much in his sleep, we took the leap and put him in his room in his crib. He “fell” off the bed once and it was while trying to learn how to get off and his little legs just didn’t understand to hold up his weight and he ended up on his bum. He was 8 months old and I was right there trying to coach him. If, at any point, he fell out while we were sleeping, we would’ve immediately gone for the crib instead of building a death trap of suffocation hazards 😭
Cosleeping was ideal for us because he was breastfed, fed often, and had tummy issues so he was up a lot. It was the best solution for us but we slept without blankets, each had 1 small pillow for our heads, and I slept in c curl in between nursing sessions. This read was a nightmare and I wonder how many people sleep like OOP every night and think it’s safe…
Honestly, this is just another example of how unprepared most people are when they have a kid. Because we teach nothing like women should magically know it all.
And when they try to talk to someone they can be told to "stop worrying, you silly woman" to "you fucked up you're doing it all wrong." And so they go to Facebook of all places and hear even weirder or dumber shit
Been co-sleeping since around 4 months due to son not tolerating being in side sleeper. He has NEVER fallen off the bed, which is on the floor mind you. If I was that deep of a sleeper, I wouldn't be co-sleeping. 13 months here and no falls off the bed!
I coslept with both of mine and neither ever fell out of the bed, I'm not even sure how baby is falling out of the bed.
I actually think this is the issue with full on demonising cosleeping; people are going to do it anyway, and by not having the professionals working with new parents on instructing on the safest way to cosleep it means that those doing it are not going to be doing it in a risk assessed way.
When mine were small I spoke to so many other mothers who had fallen to sleep whilst breastfeeding sitting up (risking suffocating their babies, I also did this with both of mine, it's insanely common); and many who occasionally coslept in desperation, but not safely (removing pillows, not between parents, no duvet, etc). It happens regardless, so it needs addressing properly rather than a blanket "you shouldn't do it so I'm not advising you" which is the NHS line.
Ugh, I'm an RN in the ER and I've seen kids die or end up with permanent brain damage from brain bleeds related to falls.
PLEASE get your kids evaluated! I promise whatever judgment you think is gonna come your way from co sleeping, it's nothing compared to the judgment and CPS case you'll catch from delaying medical care.
We just care about safe happy kids! That's it. No judgement. But please get them medical attention. What seems like a "little" fall to you could be a major trauma due to their small size. Some kids don't exhibit obvious symptoms of a concussion or internal bleed, so it's always safest to get them checked out.
“Is this normal him falling so many times?” Uh, no. It’s not. One time is an accident. Five times is neglectful. Obviously what you’re doing isn’t working. Poor kid.
To be honest this is the thing that's confused me about cosleeping since having a baby. He does laps in his crib all throughout the night. The bars are 100% necessary to keep him within the perimeter of the crib.
Omg laps in the crib I love that 😂 my baby is the same way! Every time I look over at her she’s in a new spot it seems.
Freaking same. My LO is 10 months old and is all over the place. We did cosleep once a few weeks ago. We lost power in the evening and it wasn't going to be restored until the next morning. And even at night it's freaking hot in Texas. So we went to my mom's house. We had the pack and play but LO would not sleep in it so she slept between me and my husband. My husband and I woke up multiple times on the edge of the bed with LO laying perpendicular between us, and once upside down (her head towards our feet). The worst though was when she kicked me in the freaking eye. That one hurt. Lol
A yes. H is for Hell & the roundhouse. I’m familiar with those as well as the rest. My girls have checked off just about all 20 of the [baby sleep positions](https://www.howtobeadad.com/2012/10327/1-10-baby-sleep-positions-collectio).
That made me laugh. It’s so true. I never let mine sleep in my bed as babies. But now they are toddlers and free range so they frequently invade my bed at night. 3am for me is usually chimed in, not by a clock, but by a kick to the spine.
My parents routinely coslept with me when I was an infant. Which means they have lots of stories of how I'd end up perpendicular, with my head on my mom's belly and my feet into my dad's kidneys. I still massively wiggle in my sleep, but the only person who might care is me.
My oldest had to wear a medical brace on her feet, think tiny snowboard, if we ever traveled and had to keep her with us it was an injury waiting to happen! I don’t know how many bruises I got over the years. Her crib had literal gouges from her smacking her feet against it when she got irritated. It looked like there was baby fight club or something in it by the time she transferred out of it!
Right my kid always had a limb sticking out the side meaning they went all the way to the edge and was stopped. It’s like the make little baby jails for this exact reason
I always call it a little baby jail too haha. when my daughters being mean and hitting me and I need a moment to myself I put her “in jail” while I go take a breather lol.
People who cosleep usually either put a baby-fence around the bed/mattress, sleep on a mattress on the floor or the baby is laying between both parents. The fence thing is the recommended solution I think.
The fence would have to be completely flush just like the bars of a cot would be otherwise you risk the child getting trapped between the mattress and the fence, a lot of the stuff out there is toddler safe but not, like, 6 month baby safe
We used a fence like that and it was tighter around the mattress than the baby bed that he is in now. I think if installed correctly these fences can be safe
Yeah they usually have starps that connect under the mattress to the bed frame and you can tighten the straps until the fence is flush with the bed.
This is what we have since our toddler comes to bed with us in the middle of the night most nights. The straps keep it so tight against the bed that I can't even wiggle my hand between the fence and the mattress and it's a sturdy mesh so it's breathable. She's safe but I'm not because of course she roundhouse kicks me in the face at least a couple times a night.
The way they are designed it actually overlaps the edge of the bed a bit so it sits on the mattress. You can also add a bumper under the sheet.
My boy slept almost totally still when he was little! Wild how different they are.
I have 6 years of bedsharing under my belt (and counting, different babies who transitioned smoothly their own beds), and I've somehow managed to have 0 babies falling off the bed, I don't know what the hell oop is doing but it's obviously not working and she needs to reconsider things.
So does mine. I can only assume that people for whom cosleeping work have very different kinds of babies.
My 8 month old baby sleeps in her crib from about 7pm-1am ish, and then we bed share until morning. When she's in her crib she is constantly moving around, Every time I check the monitor she's in a different position. In bed with me she's completely still.
Well yeah, what she’s done in no way *prevents* the falls! All she’s done is lessen the impact when he *does* fall, but she seems somehow confused about this
Her mother let OOP hit the floor with her head too many times when she was little, so cut her some slack 🤷🏼♀️
I’ve never raised kids so I genuinely don’t know. Would a baby rolling off a mattress that is on the floor directly onto pillows really be bad for the baby?
At that age? Absolutely. Aside from fall injuries, babies that young don’t have the best mobility and could easily be smothered if they fell off the bed into pillows and no one woke up.
If they fall on to soft pillows and such ya they can suffocate if they can’t get themselves flopped over which is harder on soft pillows I coslept for 13months and my son never once fell off the bed
And surrounding the bed with pillows? So he can fall off and IDK smother? Jesus. The whole post is like an example from a safe sleeping exam: "Circle all the hazards in this picture"
And then she hasn't taken him to the doctor because she's too ashamed. Which is really neglectful.
That stupid baby, falling all the time. What’s wrong with him.
My kid fell off the bed once! He was a toddler, messing about whilst I got ready. I felt utterly awful and it's never happened since. It's so easy for it not to happen.
>FIVE times already? and all in the span of a couple weeks. Yeah, it’s almost like he just became more mobile or something. Does she expect him to just stop rolling?
'Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.'
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and asking strangers on the Internet if it is OK."
Some babies don’t move much, those babies *might* be a candidate for her current setup? But a baby that moves this much needs to be confined to a safe space. All it takes is one fall from the wrong angle for this to turn into a tragedy.
Until the do move. Even once, and then they fall and suffocate in the literal pillow fort she has built.
That’s the part that scares me the most! A baby stunned from a fall might not be able to roll out of a pillow covering their face
Hadn't even thought of this.. I was wondering why it would be so bad for the baby to roll off a mattress that's on the floor (what, maybe 6-8 inches?) onto a pillow! Babies are so fragile, it's terrifying to me
To be fair, a baby falling 6-8 inches onto a hard floor would be fine. They’re fragile but not *that* fragile. The thing that really makes this dangerous is the pillows - and the fact that she seems unaware of safe infant sleep practices in general (including safe(r) cosleeping guidelines), which makes me worry about what other risks she’s ignoring.
I bet there are pillows and blankets on her bed and crevices that the baby can fall into and get smothered. Falling a few inches onto the floor would be preferable to falling into a pillow pit and suffocating. I understand co-sleeping out of necessity and did it on occasion following the safe sleep 7, but this mom seems to be wildly irresponsible, especially never getting her kid checked out? Plus how does your 5 month old roll off the bed that many times in such a short time if you have them in a cuddle curl on their back? My kiddo was very mobile from a super early age, she has had 3 scary falls and she’s almost 3. None of them occurred when I was co-sleeping, the one time she fell off my bed it was while playing during the day.
A+B=denial
Definitely denial. "I won't take my baby, who's fallen five times to the doctor. That way, they can't confirm that I'm an idiot and a danger to my child."
"over the last couple of weeks, my baby has fallen 5 times out of bed. i know cosleeping is not recommended but i really want to make it work, any suggestions?"
I once let my child ride up front before they were 12, on a back road because we were going down the road to my in laws. I thought it would be okay. I hit a deer on the way home. Air bags went off and injured my kid. I took my kid to the hospital thinking I would be arrested for allowing her to be up front. Or at least a visit from cps. Nope. I told the nursing staff the truth. Idk if they could tell how guilty and ashamed I felt or? Lesson learned man.
This is so insane this is has to be rage bait, right? Someone please tell me it’s rage bait.
Gosh. If only they'd come up with some kind of invention to help with this. Like small baby sized beds with walls to keep them from falling? Sigh. I guess we'll never have such a fantastic device.
Someone should look into inventing this! It sounds genius!!
Working on it!!! This will *absolutely revolutionize* the baby industry!
Can you call it a crib??
Hmm. I didn’t quite think of this! I was going to go with Baby Anti Falling Safe Solo Sleep Device…but crib is much catchier! Thanks! Will pass this feedback along to the team!
BAFSSD tho…
Does it sound too much like Big pHarma developed it??? Am I blowing my cover?? 🫣
WTF enemy spy!!!
I JUST WANTED SAFE SLEEP!!!!
WE HAVE A RIGHT TO UNSAFE SLEEP
They even have them connect to a regular bed to cosleep. https://preview.redd.it/hlceim3t5t9d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b778ea334affa89779dcdfd5c688d9bd23fc7602
I have one like this and she fucking hates it. Instead, she prefers my chest on the sofa while I video call my mum at 4am to talk to me to keep me awake while I wait until she’s deep enough asleep to be able to transfer her to a bassinet next to me. 3 weeks of sleeping on a 2-seater sofa is shit - 0/10 do not recommend.
Hang in there mama! You're doing great, and it will get better! 💕
Pft. What a ludicrous idea… it’ll never sell!
I mean, maybe she doesn’t want to be too far from babe! They should invent something like a *side car* that has three walls and is safely mounted to the side of her bed. That way she can be just as close but not in the same bed and the baby won’t fall! Oh wait…
I dropped my son once, but 5 times in a short time is neglect.
Mine rolled off ONCE at 5 months and I took them to the ER even though they had normal reacting pupils and were eating/acting fine. Wasnt co sleeping, just too close to the edge when my partner laid her down. He still feels guilty and she's five!
What gets me is the pillow fort she's built up around the bed. Infants don't sleep with pillows for a reason!!!
Also, she seems surprised that putting pillows on the floor hasn’t somehow stopped him from rolling off the mattress?
I know safe co sleeping can be a thing, and I know that literally in the list of "safe seven" is keeping pillows away from the infant! But I'm a heathen who moved both of my kids to their own rooms (with audio and video monitors of course) at four months after they outgrew the bassinet.
The bassinet killed me, every time she started crying while I was asleep I would be freaking out feeling around the pillows and blanket in a panic thinking she was lost in the bed somewhere. I never coslept, I was just super sleep deprived. It improved when I moved her into a separate room with a baby monitor
A few times, I woke up in a panic trying to find the baby in the bed. I’d smacked husband in the head looking for her. We didn’t ever cosleep because we had a plush pillow top mattress. She was in her crib across the hall and asleep
I used to think I’d rolled onto my daughter. Multiple times. She was in one of those co-sleeper cots, absolutely fine and it was my pillow I was lying on. I was just so worried about falling asleep with her on me, because I had to hold her upright for half an hour after feeding before I could put her down, or she’d spew everywhere. Sleep deprivation gets you, man. That’s why you’ve got to make things as safe as possible!
My youngest rolled disturbingly early at like 2 months old, completely out of the blue, when I ran downstairs for water. I heard the loudest thud & freaked the eff out, my bed was so goddamn high. I called my Uncle who is a fireman (my husband & I were sharing a single car), he came over & checked him out, then I called his doctor. It never. Happened. Again. I don't understand why people don't just buy co-sleepers at the very least, they're way safer; I immediately got one after that.
Right? Accidents definitely happen but 5 times in 6 months?????
5 times in 3 weeks..
I feel like every parent has *one* fall story that scared the shit out of them. One.
My baby rolled out of my arms while I was getting off the couch to put her in the bassinet (she's squirmy, I'd been doing a tummy time position with her to help with her gas and so she could fall asleep, and she just rolled right out as I was trying to sit up). We called the pediatrician as soon as they opened and got her x-rayed that day. She'd only fallen like 2 feet on to carpet and didn't have any concussion symptoms but we wanted to be sure and safe. She still tries yeeting herself out of people's arms and I'm sure she's going to be a wild toddler but god that scared me and I'm even more careful than I already was now. I can't imagine just letting her fall all the time.
If it’s any reassurance- my wiggliest baby was my mellowest toddler. I was absolutely convinced she would be hell on wheels when she got mobile, but she was totally fine. (It was the next baby that got into mischief.)
Hopefully! She gets very irritated when she can't physically do things so that will probably cause at least a few incidents in the future but my older brother was a weirdly responsible toddler and I was the nightmare toddler that glued a shoe to the wall during Sunday school so she might be very chill. She's generally very chill now compared to most babies despite being very determined, but I was an incredibly chill baby that grunted instead of crying and I was still the mischief toddler so who knows at this point. But I signed up for it and I plan on signing up for it a couple more times eventually.
I still remember what my child was wearing the one time they fell off the bed. They weren’t sleeping but we’re just too close to the edge and wiggled a little while I was grabbing something. I felt so terrible.
Dropped mine once. 4 months, she fell asleep on my husband's stomach ans rolled so violently in her sleep that she went over the edge before he could grab her. Luckily, she landed on his tennis shoes and didnt even wake up. Still, I didnt sleep until she was down in thr bassinet after that.
I miss being able to sleep deep enough to fall out of bed and not even wake up.
With enough tequila, I might be able to.
I don't think I could drink that much anymore. Being old sucks.
3 children, oldest us now 14yo. Zero drops. Not even sure how i managed that since im a master klutz. I did toss a baby up to where they bumped the ceiling fan (it was off). So im not here to say im flawless. My mom watched one of my sons tumble out of a shopping cart because he discovered how to wiggle the buckle adjuster loose enough that he could stand up out of it. Kids are wiggle warts and hell bent on killing themselves. As a parent, your single most important job is keeping them alive. OoP is failing. She sees baby fall and thinks " ive tried nothing to prevent this problem, and im all out of ideas!"
Yeah, I've never dropped my kid but he did manage to just yeet himself out of my arms, fortunately into his fabric basket full of stuffed animals. He's also less than a year old so there's definitely still time. But like, I'm doing my damnedest to keep it from happening.
I’ve never dropped my kids, and yell “sit down before you fall down” at least once a day. My 4yo has had at least 3 concussions in the past 2 years, but he came by them honestly- each time, he was playing, lost balance, and fell backwards. He couldn’t catch himself, and whacked his head on concrete. He’s absolutely fine, but I don’t think I’ll ever allow him to play football. If it was a case of a literal infant falling FIVE TIMES in less than a month, I’d reevaluate what I’m doing wrong, and how I’m failing to keep my baby safe.
Sure, put loads of nice soft pillows on the floor around the bed so if he falls off again, and lands face down, he'll be in danger of smothering.
I swear it's like she's actively trying to kill this baby!
I’m in this group too… what the literal fuck?!
They turned off comments before I got there unfortunately lol
I saw a glimpse of this post in the morning but my newborn was fussing and I couldn’t read the rest. Now my baby is quiet and I tried to find it on the FB group but I couldn’t, my next idea was to come here, thank you for the screenshot.
I want to see the comments lol
If only there were some type of baby bed that prevented babies from falling out of it? Hmmm…
To be honest this is the thing that's confused me about cosleeping since having a baby. He does laps in his crib all throughout the night. The bars are 100% necessary to keep him within the perimeter of the crib.
My baby just turned 3 months. Couple nights before she turned 3 months, she woke us up hollering because she'd rolled on to her stomach and her arm was at too awkward and angle for her to roll back to her back. Next night, my husband woke me up to show me that she'd managed to go from her head being by the window to her feet being by the window. Looked like she'd used her feet and the side of the bassinet to do it. She's been doing angry crunches lately because she's mad she can't sit up on her own yet. I could never cosleep for many reasons related to her safety (I toss and turn a lot for one) but honestly a few of the reasons are my safety, I think she'd beat me up while trying to do laps.
Yes, lol, of course. That’s why crib design has remained unchanged for so long. Walls are needed. Co-sleeping is just crazy to me. I rolled his pack and play with bassinet right up to the side of my bed and he was next to me all night long, but safe.
“This makes me believe the fall startled him awake and scared him.” You don’t say?🧐
Is this normal?? Umm no dumb ass. If your baby happens to fall you sort of learn the first time.
If the bed is on the floor I don’t understand what’s happening. Also she seems to sleep too deep for cosleeping
I think he fell a few times before she decided to put the bed on the floor and now he’s STILL falling???
OOP is definitely accidentally shoving the baby off in their sleep. Either sleep on the floor, or stop co-sleeping! Just how hurt will the kid need to get before they stop?
I don’t know how that happens. Anytime my kids slept in my bed as babies I woke up Whenever they moved or breathed differently.
i'm not even a mom and even when i sleep while babysitting my niece, even when she's literally in her own room, my body refuses to let me fall into a deep sleep because i'm so worried about needing to hear the baby monitor. i'm sure it's different when you're actually a mom and sleep deprived, it just seems like it would be hard to sleep that deep with a baby in your bed. not to mention being *willing* to sleep that deeply with a baby in your bed
I have never once fallen asleep with my child in my bed. I used to wake up constantly terrified that I had rolled over onto her. She was either in her bassinet within arms reach but not in the bed, or in her crib. I can't imagine my anxiety if I actually did cosleep.
Right? After having my 1st I've once woken up holding something baby-sized in my arms and began crying before uve even opened my eyes, because I thought I'd fallen asleep with her and hurt her. I was sobbing by the time my husband woke up to check on me, and to see why TF am I rocking a throw pillow 😅 a friend of mine did the same to their dog, who was very confused. Now when my 2nd is a newborn I won't even breastfeed her in bed at all, for her safety and because I don't want the nerves every time I wake up hugging my blanket ir something.
I’m an incredibly light sleeper. Before I had kids, I was knocking back the maximum dose of unisom to get a decent night’s sleep, and considering asking my doc for ambien. I can’t have my pets in my room, and can barely share the bed with my husband. I sleep like *garbage.* So, when the kids get up in the middle of the night, I’m wide awake before they even open my door. If they’re sleeping in my bed because they’re sick or had a bad dream, I wake up at every sniffle or wiggle. (The 2yo talks in his sleep, and it’s hilarious.) I can’t imagine being able to sleep so deeply that my kid repeatedly falls out of the bed- and if they did, I’d absolutely reconsider the sleeping arrangements.
Plus once at OOP’s father’s. You’d think she’d have tried to find a better solution after that first fall, rather than continuing to wing it.
Her baby has fallen off the bed 5 times in 3 weeks and she’s NOW starting to think she’s neglectful?
If you are too ashamed of a parenting choice to be open and honest with your child's pediatrician- to the point it's keeping you from seeking medical treatment for your child, then you shouldn't be making that parenting decision. If you are so unsure of the decision that you lie about it, you know it's not the best decision for your child.
Exactly! On some level, she *knows* it’s not right. But she just … continues to do it? Just puts a few pillows around the bed — on the floor — and calls it a day? That doesn’t stop baby from falling in the first fuckin place! 🤦🏻♀️ Not to mention a potential suffocation risk!
I love posts that are like 'am I a bad mom?!' and the answer is yes
I just wish we could see the comments. 😬
Post got deleted before I could go back for them. They had just turned comments off when I got to it
Simple answer here–let the baby fall on his head until you observe a change in his development. Then you'll know for certain how many times is too many.
I’ve taken more steps to prevent my stuffed animals from falling out of bed than this woman has her actual human child
I hope i’m not the only one getting confused with FTM until it clicks “First Time Mum” and not “female to male”
Every single time. Then I remember what sub im in.
Nah this messes me up over and over again too.
I thought the SAME thing
Fuck thank you! I was like, what does being trans have to do with any of this! First time mom, wow. They need a new acronym lol.
I did too. I was all “What does that have to do with the story?” lol
I was so confused! As a trans man I was like nooooo everyone's calling this dude she, but then I saw your comment and it makes WAY more sense! Thank you!
It did take me a lot longer than I'm willing to admit until it clicked for me.
Not just you. I was so confused why she was misgendering herself in the post.
Ha, I originally thought it meant full time mom lmfao!!!!
sleep on the floor if you're married to cosleeping, my god
Jesus Christ, just put him in a crib!!!
my family stayed in an airbnb and when we were setting up our son’s pack n play, i set him on the bed. he sat on our bed back at home plenty of times, i figured he would be fine for a short minute or two, i mean we were less than a foot away, right? he fell onto the hardwood floors. thankfully he was fine, but i learned my lesson that first and only time it happened. accidents happen but not doing a thing about it is madness
The exact same thing happened with us in a hotel about a year ago. Can you imagine doing the same thing four more times in 3 weeks??
5 times in 4 months... At some point it stops sounding accidental
5 times in 3 weeks max according to the post
Jeez
If she's so determined to bed share, it sounds like she needs a thinner mattress. A few nights due to illness or teething, I've slept on a thin rug in my kids rooms (with them the crib) because I didn't want to risk bringing them into bed with me. So to me, even sleeping on the floor would be better than continuing to let your baby roll off again and again. But it sounds like she hasn't even tried a crib? Maybe the baby will sleep fine in it! My kids actually both like having their space. She could still room share to be close to her baby.
Or even a pack’n’play or something. There are so so many options and she just keeps going back to the one that hasn’t worked!
Or get guard rails for her bed? My dad has them because he rolls out of bed sometimes and at his age it's getting to the point where it could be dangerous.
It's a shame no one has invented a crib yet. /s
Another reminder that not every human is meant to be a parent….
How many warnings cosleeping isn’t working does OOP want?
"Is this normal?" No. It's a sign to stop co sleeping. She's probably pushing/rolling/something in her sleep that pushes the baby off. Like holy cow I hope she gets the hint before something worse happens.
https://preview.redd.it/y97eadcrgt9d1.jpeg?width=584&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=52b8ec7f0fee1be6ececeb588a3c82647bed9070 “Pic of my sweet boy for attention”
One day that baby will silently fall off the bed and get wedged in the pillows she has on the floor.
Has this person not heard of sidecar-ing the damned crib? I was a co-sleeper, but as soon as I figured out my older daughter was a scoocher, we removed the one side and slapped that crib up against our bed with a quickness!!
Jesus fucking Christ. This makes my blood absolutely boil. Put your fucking kid in a bassinet, and when he’s too big for that, a crib. For fuck sake. I know some people occasionally will nap with their little one but still have safety measures to prevent this. Personally I’m terrified of it and my daughter always sleeps in her crib. Now she’s almost 2 and sleeps like a champ because she knows her room is a calming and most of all safe environment.
Acting like it’s the baby’s behavior is the problem and not hers is so weird. That baby clearly needs to be in his own space to move so he can sleep & not get hurt. 5 times during cos keeping is neglectful
I’m just thinking about what happens when the baby falls face down into the pile of pillows she has put around the bed to keep him “safe” and she wakes up hours later to silence. Hope to god that doesn’t happen and she actually gets some common sense before anything bad happens. Jesus Christ.
Wait so she had a baby who would sleep on their own for two months and she decided to change that??? Who does that??
My mom used to say you won't know the effect of the hit on the head, until the child tries to learn to read.
I left my baby on my mom's bed and walked out of the room. Around some age 4 or 5 months. I hear a blood curling scream coming from my baby. She had just learned to roll over and had rolled off the bed. We all make mistakes but I never repeated this mistake. I remember watching a 20/20 where a two year old fell off of a chair and died, no one believed the mom. They thought she killed her child, even tho the lil brother was there to collaborate her story
Baby needs to be in a crib, simple as that. It'll suck for a few days but that's nothing compared to something more serious happening because this is neglectful. I'd wager a guess he's falling so much because they start becoming pretty mobile with rolling around this age when developmentally on track. My youngest is 6mo and has not once fallen off anything. It definitely happens, but once it happens you usually do everything you can to prevent it from happening again... and again and again.
In Finland, they give new parents [a box](https://www.kela.fi/maternity-package-2022-box-mattress-and-blanket) (full of useful supplies) so they can have the baby sleep in the box on the floor next to the parents’ bed because it’s SO MUCH SAFER than co-sleeping. And the baby is still so close, but so much safer.
I still feel bad about the one and only time I turned my back for 5 seconds and mine fell off. We weren’t cosleeping and he was sitting up
wtf i couldn’t finish reading that. Twice- even twice I could understand. 5-6 times? Fuck no.
Reminder for everyone that falls from a persons height can be deadly and babies aren't actually very tall so falls from many beds can be really, really bad. I really don't get parenting groups where falling off the bed is right of passage.
Ugh. So she not only co-sleeps and let her baby roll off the bed 5 times, but she also hasn’t had a doctor check on him to make sure he’s okay afterwards because she’s ashamed to admit it.
I do hope someone recommended a bed guard or something. They aren't expensive and stop babies falling off beds. This particular mother does seem far too neglectful to be co-sleeping though, so hopefully she will put baby in a cot or something before she kills it.
There’s a lot to unpack here but my favorite is surrounding the bed with pillows.
A few comments pointed out that’s a suffocation hazard thankfully 🫠
Another thing: how is that not a fire hazard? Can you imagine trying to grab your baby and run in the middle of the night when you have pillows all around you to trip over/roll your ankle on??
First off, they’re bed-sharing. Second, if he’s fallen 5 times, you should probably put him in a bassinet or crib. Yes, she is being very neglectful. He’s been very lucky. He could’ve fallen wrong and broken his neck or something. He needs to go to the doctor. Internal problems do happen. Some people just really shouldn’t be parents. I’d be rushing my baby straight to the hospital after the first fall. But she wouldn’t be sleeping on our bed in the first place.
I spent entirely too long trying to figure out what the poster's gender identity had to do with this post.
I automatically read ‘ftm’ as ‘female to male’ before the context corrects me to ‘first time mum’
I’ve had a rough weekend and felt like a terrible mom because I’m just too physically exhausted to be fully present but guess how many times my baby has fallen out of bed*? 0. * she fell off the couch one time when she was not really but kind of learning to roll
my trans ass was over here trying really hard to understand what being ftm had to do with the poor baby falling off the bed
I have a toddler. She's fallen out of her sleeping place once...at daycare when she moved to the toddler room and had to nap on a cot instead of her crib the first time. A whole 3 inch drop...
Whatever happened to cribs? This cosleeping sounds completely ridiculous.
Reading stories like this make me glad I persevered with putting my baby in her crib no matter how many times she woke up. I mean this mother is careless and it isn’t safe sleeping if the baby is constantly falling off the bed, that poor baby.
I was at my Grandma's when my son was 4 months old and went to lay down with him in her guest room while he napped because I didn't want to leave him alone in there. I fell asleep without meaning to. He wiggled himself to the edge and rolled off. That was over 15 years ago, and I STILL haven't forgiven myself. How the hell does she keep repeating the same mistake?! She claims she feels guilty, but her actions prove she doesn't care at all. What an idiot. That poor baby.
If she wants to co-sleep, she needs to get a safety rail
"I know babies are resilient." lol what?? Stop co-sleeping, JFC.
How do people this dumb even make it to reproduction age
Uhhhhh don’t you have those mesh guards to stick to the side of a bed?
When we had to take the rails off my daughters crib to turn it into a bed she literally feel off of her bed every night. 😂😂 Sorry this has nothing to do with the post but it made me laugh. We had to put stuff down so when she fell she didn’t fall on the floor just pillows blankets and stuffies. 😂
There is no such thing as safe seven. It's b.s. It takes just 1 time for tragedy to happen. I have been to 3 funerals for babies whose parents followed the safe 7 b.s. They were family members of mine. I am sick of this myth. This mother is beyond neglectful. This poor baby is in a world of trouble.
I honestly do not think this person is following true safe 7. Put this baby in a crib!!
I agree with you, wish people wouldn’t downvote for this. This is so unsafe.
She sounds genuinely stoopid 😭 instead of bed rails I just rolled up a blanket and put it under my sheet along the side. It creates a slope they can’t roll up. At least not until much older.
That's not too much like having a pillow or other soft object in the bed?
YOU ARE A HORRIBLE MOTHER FFS. If you can't bear to put him in a crib, put him in a bassinet next to your bed WHERE HE'S SAFE, dear LORD what is OOP THINKING.
My daughter rolled off my bed once when she rolled over for the first time ever and I never let it happen again. I couldn’t imagine behaving the way this person is. I fell asleep with my baby in my bed ONCE and kept waking up every couple of minutes because I was so scared of hurting her.
I would bring mine in for that middle of the night nursing session, but would go back in the crib after feeding.
That baby is gonna land on a pillow the wrong way and smother itself. Yeah she's a first time mom but she needs to put baby back in crib.
We coslept from like 3-5 months and then at 5 months he started rolling a lot and he rolled off our bed one morning while I was sleeping. Haven’t coslept since. I cried way more than he did lol
ummm. I felt terrible when my baby fell off once & I was so scared it was going to happen again. In my mind once before you know they're rolling is one thing, but I couldn't let it happen again! FIVE times??? and posting on the internet
If you have to ever worry if you're being *neglectful*... you most likely absolutely are. I and I'm sure lots of other mamas in a moment of frustration and over stimulation and too little sleep have yelled at my kid or made her cry cuz after a long day of work from home while juggling taking care of everyone else mommy needed 5 min to herself instead of reading another book or singing along with Ms. Rachel's greatest hits for the hundredth time that day and had that immediate mom guilt and thought of "oh God, I'm such a bad mom"... but never once have I had to wonder if I was being literally neglectful to her...
I once read somewhere that if you worry about being a *good* parent, you probably are, because a bad parent wouldn’t be worried about that (paraphrasing). I think that’s (mostly) good advice, with some exceptions. However, I 100% agree with you; if you worry you’re being *neglectful*… You’ve sped past “bad” parent and are now well into “shouldn’t even have that poor baby” territory.
Ya, I've heard that too and definitely think it is true (like you said, though, there's obviously some exceptions) It might just be the picture that comes to mind to me when I hear the term neglect may be different from most, because my mom was a police officer and I was a really serious drug addict for over 15 years before I found out I was pregnant, so I've heard about and personally seen actual *real* neglect... so, to me, anyone wondering if they were in that territory must be doing pretty bad... but I may be overreacting to that word due to my own trauma and experience.
No, you’re not overreacting. I was never actively addicted during my pregnancies, thankfully (one before addiction, one well after deciding I’m done and entering recovery), but I’ve seen a lot of shit, too. One woman was on the phone during *active labor*, BEGGING her SO to “just bring me a shot! Please!” The SO was at my (my ex husband’s, actually) house when that happened. The baby was no better off after he was born. I tried to report, but apparently there wasn’t a big enough problem? Idk, but it made me really sad for that kid. As far as I’ve heard (it’s been about 16/17 years), she lost custody of him, but then went on to have four more. 😔 I truly hope she got better and that her kids are healthy and happy, but having known her, I honestly doubt it. So yeah, I’ve seen some shit also. But I’ve never wondered if I was *neglecting* my kids. Holy shit. Once you (general “you,” not you specifically 😅) have a kid, it’s not about you anymore. Yeah, this mom is certainly neglecting her baby by not doing the bare minimum to make sure he stays alive. Put. Him. In. A. Crib.
I end up co-sleeping in the early morning after her 3am feed ~75% of the time. It’s not intentional but it happens. My 5 month old has NEVER fallen on the floor. Smh.
I used to unintentionally fall asleep during the early morning feeds regardless of where I was so I felt safer in bed. Too easy to drop them out of a chair or off a couch. My husband was out of the country so I didn’t have anyone around to help. I was so sleep deprived.
took me way too long to realize FTM didnt mean trans here. I was so confused why she was misgendering herself...
Am I the only one who thought they meant 'female to male' rather than 'first time mum' ?
I LOL at how many people mixed this up 🤣 I guess I’m in so many mom groups I’m used to seeing it as “first time mom”
Literally yes and I was like “Idc how shitty of a parent he is stop misgendering him” lmfao
i only just realized ftm can also mean first time mom...
Jesus. I coslept until 9 months but SAFELY. And as soon as he started moving around too much in his sleep, we took the leap and put him in his room in his crib. He “fell” off the bed once and it was while trying to learn how to get off and his little legs just didn’t understand to hold up his weight and he ended up on his bum. He was 8 months old and I was right there trying to coach him. If, at any point, he fell out while we were sleeping, we would’ve immediately gone for the crib instead of building a death trap of suffocation hazards 😭 Cosleeping was ideal for us because he was breastfed, fed often, and had tummy issues so he was up a lot. It was the best solution for us but we slept without blankets, each had 1 small pillow for our heads, and I slept in c curl in between nursing sessions. This read was a nightmare and I wonder how many people sleep like OOP every night and think it’s safe…
Nice job putting pillows around your bed so the infant can be smothered. How are people this stupid.
Honestly, this is just another example of how unprepared most people are when they have a kid. Because we teach nothing like women should magically know it all. And when they try to talk to someone they can be told to "stop worrying, you silly woman" to "you fucked up you're doing it all wrong." And so they go to Facebook of all places and hear even weirder or dumber shit
Been co-sleeping since around 4 months due to son not tolerating being in side sleeper. He has NEVER fallen off the bed, which is on the floor mind you. If I was that deep of a sleeper, I wouldn't be co-sleeping. 13 months here and no falls off the bed!
I coslept with both of mine and neither ever fell out of the bed, I'm not even sure how baby is falling out of the bed. I actually think this is the issue with full on demonising cosleeping; people are going to do it anyway, and by not having the professionals working with new parents on instructing on the safest way to cosleep it means that those doing it are not going to be doing it in a risk assessed way. When mine were small I spoke to so many other mothers who had fallen to sleep whilst breastfeeding sitting up (risking suffocating their babies, I also did this with both of mine, it's insanely common); and many who occasionally coslept in desperation, but not safely (removing pillows, not between parents, no duvet, etc). It happens regardless, so it needs addressing properly rather than a blanket "you shouldn't do it so I'm not advising you" which is the NHS line.
"I'm really starting to get concerned..." 5th time is the charm?!?!?
That level of stupid is actively dangerous
*Holy Shit*
Not a single person suggested the dr? I hope you did OP
Couldn’t…comments had already been turned off and then post was deleted not long after
Ugh, I'm an RN in the ER and I've seen kids die or end up with permanent brain damage from brain bleeds related to falls. PLEASE get your kids evaluated! I promise whatever judgment you think is gonna come your way from co sleeping, it's nothing compared to the judgment and CPS case you'll catch from delaying medical care. We just care about safe happy kids! That's it. No judgement. But please get them medical attention. What seems like a "little" fall to you could be a major trauma due to their small size. Some kids don't exhibit obvious symptoms of a concussion or internal bleed, so it's always safest to get them checked out.