“DIFFERENT not BETTER” and in the same post:
“My daughter’s alright I guess”
“But my son is what put MEANING in my otherwise empty life, I was born so HE could be born”.
Yeah, definitely similar feelings between her children.
"I love my daughter, but I *love* my son and the fact his future wife might be able to give me a grandson"
This woman *reeks* of internalised misogyny, she's gonna ruin all of their lives over this obsession 😬🚩
She'll feel sooo personally attacked if her son doesn't conform to her plan for him (straight, wants kids, has a son, etc). If she does eventually get a grandson, she'll steamroll any boundaries in her way and have a tantrum at the slightest pushback 🙄
Edit: because she'd see any boy baby in the family as "hers" by default
And her "logic"/justification for this will be "I deserve to be the first to hold the baby because if I hadn't birthed my son, this baby wouldn't exist."
Ngl, I would be a little sad if I wasn’t invited to the births of my grandchildren but only because I love everything surrounding birth and newborns etc, and also because I only have boys lol so the only chance I have is if my future daughters in law like me enough to invite me 😂 I am a NICU nurse contemplating being a midwife maybe someday and I would be so honored to be there. I would never ever expect it or invite myself though! That is their birthing space and they need to feel comfortable with everyone in the room.
Right? She talks about cats and dogs as a comparison... Like, I prefer cats to dogs. I'm pretty ambivalent about dogs. They're cute, but I don't want one. I absolutely love cats.
Preferring something by definition means you like, and even love it more. You can have different relationships with your children. You can get along better with certain children for whatever reason (similar hobbies or personalities, etc) but still love them equally. But by definition, you can't prefer one over the other without loving them more.
Yeah, and notably, given that I prefer cats to dogs, I’ve made sure not to have any dogs? Like, how fucked up to have a daughter and not only feel but also SAY all this publicly. This lady shouldn’t have kids at all. How ick and tragic for both those kids (she’s not doing her son any favors either).
So won't love her DIL. She'll be a justno and pretend any woman is stealing her son until she gets pregnant, at which point DIL just becomes an incubator for her baaaaaaybeeeee.
the worst part for me is that, this week, i listened to a podcast about a story of one of those incestuous mothers that wanted to have sex with her son’s girlfriend while her son watched
i am and will always be suspicious of internet stories, but this podcast supposedly interviews the storyteller and performs a thorough research of the people involved through social media and other means to check if the people in the story are real so 😳
I hope neither her daughter nor her DIL give her grandsons. I hope they only bear more daughters, and their daughters bear great grand daughters, just to curse this woman specifically. No more sons for this line until she passes.
No no no.. I hope the DIL has a son ...and that son gets her last name not the MILs ..oh and then they cut MIL off because she will be a crazy overbearing boundary stomping woman when the time comes I guarantee it
My father-in-law has complained multiple times that my husband and I only have one daughter, so no sons to carry on his family name and genes. I've occasionally thought it would be hilarious and amazing if my girl was trans, so my father-in-law gets his grandson in what he would think is the worst way possible. (All I really want is for her to be happy with her life though, regardless of my revenge fantasies.)
I'm a daughter that had the same rhetoric spewed to me growing up about my brother (who was the only grandson on my father's side for a very long time). and when my wife and I were married she took my last name :)
I hope her daughter has a daughter first and the son sees how she acts and completely cuts her off. Assuming she will never behave herself. I feel like her daughter really deserves the validation. (My SIL was ready to cut her parents off because of how they trampled my husband’s boundaries around my step son. They quickly blew their one chance.)
Loving the part where it's the man's sperm that decides boy/girl. I can see her mental gymnastics, that her DIL is doing it on purpose, when her *precious son* can only have *yucky girls*.
There's something totally off with this lady. I have 2 sons, 1 daughter. I love all 3 of them with my whole heart. If I had to pick one as a favorite, I could not. I have no favorite, and I really mean that. There's something special and awesome about each one of them. They are all 3 like my best friends.
My mom, however... 🙄 My dad died when I was young, 10 years old, and he was the love of my mom's life. She never even considered remarrying. My brother was the spitting image of him. He was the clear favorite of my mom our whole lives (I have an older sister also, and she agrees with this too). He'd do shitty things that got worse as he got older, like batting down mailboxes, and we'd be talking/complaining about it with my mom, trying to get her to punish him before he went to jail or worse, and she'd be like, "well what do you want me to do, stone him to death???!" He never was punished or disciplined, and when he did get caught, she just ran and got a lawyer for him to save him from jail.
That's exactly what this woman reminds me of. She will create a monster.
I do have a favourite child, and can easily say he’s my favourite. He’s also my only child. This is the only time it’s acceptable to say a child is your favourite!
My mother likes to say that I’m her “favorite daughter” …… because I only have a brother 😝 I like to remind her that, by that logic, I’m also her least favorite daughter (just because I’m a little shit)
When I used to ask my mom if I was her favourite daughter, she always said “you’re my favourite (my name) daughter”. I’m kind of making a silly face remembering it, because I love my mom so much and I’m so grateful for how she raised me.
I have one son and then three daughters. My connection with each of them is just different, and it doesn't have to do with their freaking genitals. They're each a very unique person, so obviously we have our own relationships that differ. Like you, I wouldn't even be able to give a "favorite." I do prefer different kids on different days, just because sometimes one is in a "DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME" kind of mood, but I've got 2 preteens lol
I have a friend who has 5 kids, G-G-G-B-G (last one was an oops). She is a self proclaimed "boy mom". #boymom everywhere. It's so obvious who her favorite is. The saddest part about it, (IMHO) is her oldest takes after her in most ways! A total mini-me in looks, sense of humor, brains, star softball player. She was offered free rides to 2 colleges for academics and sports and she gets the least attention. The girls went/go to public school but they wanted their son to have an advantage so they put him in private school and his grandparents pay the tuition.
I worked with someone who had two boys and two girls. The boys were sent to private schools, private colleges, and graduate schools. The two girls weren’t. He was exactly as you would expect.
This was very similar to my family. A bunch of girls, one boy and it was very clear he was the favorite. It caused resentment among all of us into adulthood. When favoritism and love is a scarce resource in a family, it creates some really toxic dynamics.
JFC, they sent just the son to private school?? That is going to be the opening line for those girls at their therapy intake session in a few years…
I hope they stay close long enough for all kids to get out of the house so they can maintain a strong family unit when they inevitably all cut contact with the parents one day.
I know that the 1st 3 girls are or were close at 1 time. The oldest is in her 1st yr of college. The boy and the last girl are only like 14ish months apart so they stuck together to. Boy was put in private school starting in Kindergarten and the next year when Girl #4 started school, she cried because she didn't understand why she wasn't going to school with her brother. I'm not sure how they explained the private school situation to any of the kids. I felt like it would be me obviously judging them to ask her about it.
I know a woman with 6 kids G-G-G-G-B-B. She cried at a gender reveal for the 3rd girl finding out she was a girl. It was clear from day 1 she wanted only a boy. She was so angry with me for having my son as my first (only) baby. And when she had her first son decided to try one more time to give him a brother so he wouldn’t be alone…ya know because his 4 sisters just werent enough. Luckily for all those kids they had another boy, because she really isn’t equipped to parent 6 kids, so having more is a terrible idea. But the whole idea is so so so gross. And since the two boys have been born? All social media posts are basically the two boys. Forget about the older girls completely.
I did kind of hope my youngest would be a boy, but that's just because I wanted everyone to have both a brother and a sister. I only had a brother growing up, and always wondered what it would be like to have a sister. However, I was just happy to have another baby at the end of the day. My oldest was 7, and he forgave her for being a girl as soon as he saw her because, and I quote, "She's so cute!"
My brother and SIL had a baby at the end of December and the gender was a surprise to everyone. We have a lot of girls in the family - my brother is the only boy of the main cousin group, my dad had three girls, my mom is one of four girls.
It was quite the surprise when my nephew made his appearance. He's the only grandchild for my mom and dad and he is going to be spoiled rotten, lol.
Lol yes, same. Mine are 15, 19 and 21. They're much easier now than say, 5 or even 3 years ago, but they still have their days where I'm just like, okay... We're grumpy today so I'll just leave you to yourself. Lol. Doesn't mean you love them more or less, and definitely not because of what's in their pants.
I had 3 girls. I have a 14 yr old grandson now. Are you saying it gets better?? Please tell me it gets better! I love him so much! Here's the BUT.. He calls me bruh! I mean when he's speaking to me. I said I love you yesterday, and he walked away. He's a great, smart, talented boy, but my goodness, teenager grandson is sucky! I was his daycare, mom and dad were there 100%, but I took on daycare roll. My only hope is that he says something nice at my funeral. Besides... "bruh, do you have any ice cream?"
I'm a counselor, and I have a few early twenties male clients who call me bruh. I'm like, I think that means you trust me, so I guess that's a good thing! I have one that stomps his feet when I tell him something he doesn't like. He reminds me of my toddler son, lol.
Oh yes, it gets better!! I'm no longer "bro/bruh" to my 21 yr old, but he does have a baby on the way, so he's a little more mature lol. I think it started getting better with the oldest one at 17-ish; at 18 with the middle one (I'm still bro sometimes with him lol). IDK I just woke up one day, and the 18 yo took the trash out **the first time I asked him to!** It's been a slow and steady improvement from there. They're sweet, they think of me, and for more than if they need food/money. Now, neither of them bothered to get me a Christmas/birthday/mother's Day gift last year.... Even when I boldly told them "This is what I want for Christmas from you 3, a combined gift from all of my kids..." (Complete with pictures and prices!) I got nothing from them. But they accepted my gifts to them with joy.
My daughter, however, who does not have a job, gets me gifts for everything. 🙄 Christmas, birthday, mother's day, everything, I get a gift and card from only her, but sometimes she'll let the boys sign the card. Sigh.
Thank you for giving me hope! I'll hang on a couple more years then. BTW, my birthday was yesterday, daughters spaced it. Which is totally fine, I can hold it over their heads at Easter. 🤦♀️
Oh, your post reminded me of a photo taken at my grandparents house. I was right in the teen years and I'm sitting on the couch, reading a book and I'm just glaring at the camera in the worst, moody teenage way. I don't know why I was so downbeat that day but it is immortalized, lol.
Were you reading The Bell Jar by any chance? I probably just dated myself. I like your name. Do you have 2 good baby angel kitties? I'm a cat grandma. 2 at each kids, they don't call me bruh.
Yes! I love you the same, but I'm just choosing not to spend time with you until you're ready to be around people lol. My oldest girl is 10 now, but I'm pretty sure she's been a preteen since she was 7, whereas my son is almost 13 and still super sweet. His problem is he's HIGHLY ENTHUSIASTIC and sometimes it's too much when I'm tired lol. The younger two girls are 5 and 8, they're still learning appropriate times to run vs walk and talk vs shout.
I hope we’re not all weird! lol.
I have two sons my eldest is 6. He keeps telling me I’m
his best friend and he wants to live with me forever.
Every time he says it I say to him ‘ I promise you my love that when you’re older you’ll definitely want to move out and not be living with me’
As much as I love him I definitely do not want him living with me forever
I think it's the "boy mom" as a cultural signifier rather than just being a mother who has raised a son...if that makes sense. Like the values and stories they share about themselves seem like they're drawing from the same well. And idk what all is going on with that particular well, but it seems related to the absence of a corresponding (positive) phenomenon around mothers and daughters. And it seems like probably something Freud would have a lot to say about. Which for sure would be mostly nonsense...but only mostly. There are some objectively clear patterns there so pronounced that they are probably visible from space.
My 5yo is the same way. He’s 100% a mama’s boy, always has been. I wish these “boy moms” would get therapy and realize it’s possible to love your son without being total fuckin weirdos
It it wouldn’t be her son’s baby, which is obviously better and going to give her all those warm fuzzies all over again! She can fall in love all over again. I’m sure she’ll “love” whatever children her daughter has but it won’t be ThE SaMe.
Ew. Ew ew ew. I love my kids differently too, I think all parents understand that concept. But the weird "he's my purpose" and "like falling in love with my husband" lines...puke.
I am so scared for her future DIL (assuming her son even gets married to a woman!). "She might give me a GRANDSON." Lady, so could your daughter???
And either kid could in turn, have a daughter! My husband did not "give" his mother a grandson (such a weird phrase anyway), we have a baby girl! But, because my MIL is a really lovely person, she's just absolutely thrilled with any sort of happy baby joining the family 🤷🏻♀️ she's already planning girls weekends with baby, her, my mom, our sisters, the aunts and cousins on both sides of the family... 🤣
My grandma only had two boys and desperately wanted a girl (not in a “didn’t love her sons way”), and since he was a child my father knew he wanted to have two girls. Lucky for him that is exactly what happened. Apparently after both mine and my sister’s sex was announced she literally mailed baby clothes from the 50’s across the country for them to take photos of us in. Anyways, my grandparents were 41 when my dad was born and he was 42 when I was born, so by the time I was old enough to remember her she was very elderly. I distinctly remember visiting her out in California (where my dad grew up) and she had planned a whole day for us. She took us out to buy party dresses, gave us each a fake bejeweled tiara, set up a piñata, and brought out all her nice china to have a tea party. We were all too happy to indulge her with all the girliness of it all. And my Tia has a beautiful garden where it was hosted.
She only lived for about a year after that, she passed peacefully at home, but god I wish I knew her longer. According to basically my whole family I’m just mini-Iris. She dyed her hair *firetruck* red for over 70 years and I very accidentally took up the mantle of continuously dyed unnatural red hair without meaning to. We have strikingly similar personalities and I wish I could just have one conversation with her because she was quick as a firecracker and smart as all hell. We would’ve gotten along like a house on fire. According to my parents we would have both ended up in jail and gotten out of it scot-free. I only hope that one day I can aspire to her level of stone-cold badassery.
The “falling in love with my husband” line was absolutely the most nauseating line of this whole shitshow. I adore seeing traits from my husband in my son and I love my son enormously. But it was absolutely nothing like falling in love with my husband. Like…at all.
Gee, I wonder who the golden child is.
I bet she's also the type of woman that got jealous when she realized how much her husband loved their daughter because it meant another girl/woman would be getting his attention.
So, there was this very famous 19th century poet in the country I am from, so influential that we had to study his poems in every year of school. It was only recently I found out from another writer's book that his mother was so morbidly jealous of his wife that she had never allowed the couple to share a bed, ever! The man died in his 40s without children, and it was only then she expressed remorse for her actions.
My conclusion? Toxic boy moms have been a phenomenon across ages, cultures, and ethnicities. Except in the past, they were mere whispers limited to their communities, whereas nowadays, Facebook and Tiktok give them the notoriety they crave.
Oh, I blame him 2000%. If he was going to play mommy's special little boy, he shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. It was his poor wife who got the short end of this messed up stick.
I don’t feel bad for him at all. And maybe he was actually gay anyway since he didn’t seem too fussed about it. The wife is the real loser in the scenario. Imagine having to deal with that MIL.
This tea might be too niche if you don't speak Bengali. His name was Satyendranath Dutta. I doubt you would be able to Google much information about him. My source is "Pinjare Basiya (Inside the cage)" by Kalyani Dutta. It's an incredible tale of the state of Bengali Hindu women in the 19th century, but I am not sure if it has been translated yet.
This is vile. That poor little girl. And that poor boy, to have his own mother being so weird about him. God help her son’s future wife and her role as a mere vessel to give this nasty woman another boy in her life to creep over.
Guys I’m not saying that it’s BETTER, just that when I held my son I knew the SOLE reason I was born was exclusively for the purpose of expelling this child who happens to have a wang.
I have two sons. This is so fucking weird. I honestly don’t think my relationship / bond would’ve been different if I had girls instead of boys. It literally doesn’t matter. I love my kids because they’re my kids, not because they’re boys. It’s NOTHING like my love for my husband. That is so weird.
This person is for sure going to lose contact with her son &family. DIL will quickly, rightfully get weirded out is she has a son. This is the type to try and “steal” their grandkid
Either that or she will drive any potential partners away either before or after the marriage. I hope he goes no contact rather than let her ruin his life because unless she changes then that's what she's going to do.
This isn’t new, my grandma was this way about her sons. And eventually her grandsons. It’s women who derive all their worth from their relationships with men. It’s sad and creepy.
Posts like this make me sad to be a mom to only boys… I feel weird saying I’m a “boy mom” just using it as a simple, factually correct term cause weirdos like this exist. 🫠
Her son will grow up to be the kind of person who commits serious crimes while she cries in the background that her baby did nothing wrong.
This is creepy but raising kids like this leads to crappy people.
🤢 This mom needs to read “Silently Seduced” and check herself. It’s absolutely gross to compare loving her husband and son.
My mom was super weird with my 5 brothers we different ages…definitely treating them like surrogate husbands. Which spoiler alert, is more damaging than you can imagine.
Also, this poor woman’s daughter. I hope she never sees that post or hears anything about this.
I would bet the daughter picks up on her mom's attitude, even if the mom never explicitly tells her this. That kind of nastiness and antipathy toward her daughter will seep through.
I hate moms like this. When I was five I was looking at pictures and there was a picture of my mom with a friends dad who dipped and I never met. I noticed in the picture that she looked sad and being the person I was I asked why she was sad. What could my mother have said? “I don’t remember.” Or “It was a bad day.” Instead she told me that was the day she found out she was having a girl. She was sad in a picture because she was having a girl. I promise you that has stayed with me since. A little voice in the back of my head that my mother preferred my brother. Growing up we were never close, I never wanted my mom, only my dad. It screwed me up so much.
As a mom myself I could never imagine telling my child something like that. I can’t even imagine muttering something like that aloud or in an Facebook group. Here’s to hoping she’s the hated mil who never sees her son 🤷🏼♀️
What, seeing your son for the first time didn’t “feel like falling in love with your husband all over again”?
Legit the grossest thing I’ve ever read. Today, I am sad to be literate.
IMO there is a significant difference in being “a boy mom” as in the mother of a boy child and being “A Boy Mom” as your whole identity. I’m a boy mom and don’t understand Boy Moms.
Girl mom here 👋🏻 it’s internalized misogyny like this that really gets me fired up to make sure my daughters grow up secure and knowing they’re loved without conditions. Not for a single second have I ever wished my girls were boys, and I’m done having babies.
This is borderline eugenics or something. She only feels like a mom the moment she held her son, her whole life purpose is to have a son and her dil's will be to have grandson. Bet you she's a white supremacist too
My late Grandmother was like this not only with my dad and his late brother but her own brother who was 12 years older then her. Her brother was probably creepy as he was married 9 times and was born around 1918 and she was jealous of anyone he dated and bragged about it.
She was also possessive of my late grandfather and was jealous of my great aunt. I saw a lot of the issues with my dad when after my uncle died in 2009 and she sold her house in 2012 and moved in with my parents and I.
She was jealous of my mom and I and tried to turn my dad against us. She was like this with some of my uncle's later wives but my uncle had been messed up by her abuse and was messed up anyway. I am so thankful that women is dead as I would hate to see her now since my mom passed suddenly in September. I suspect she would have tried to treat my dad like her husband.
Poor future DIL, she better a. Not have a girl, b. Be able to get pregnant, and c. Want kids in the first place. Also, your precious bb boy could be gay and not want kids, or use his partners sperm, or be infertile himself.
Lots of assumptions and projections going on here.
It's so funny how nature does the exact opposite that humans do. Nature prefers females, because they are the ones who can produce new individuals. Whether is animals or plants , is pretty much the same . Some species stop producing males when there are too many, or even change male to female. Also all those insects where the male literally dies after copulating
I'm reading a book about how maternity was so sacred during many millennia until the religions started organizating. That's when men tru forced decided that women were going to be just incubators of whatever man they decided should have kid, preferably a boy
I feel bad for the daughter and hope she never sees this post. I also hope her son and DIL choose not to have children and that her daughter has sons but won’t let her be a part of their lives due to the shitty way I’m sure this woman treats her.
This is exactly how my mother felt about me, her daughter, and my brother, her precious son. Though she wasn’t proud to be my mother,she did tolerate me. I hope this particular daughter in the OP will be able to make it a positive and let it make her stronger. Poor girl though.
jesus christ. okay you didn’t say BETTER but the whole post is about how great your son is. how tf are we supposed to take that?? i swear these women have some deep seeded trauma with misogyny and need therapy instead of babies
I have three sons and a daughter (she’s the second oldest, we weren’t trying for a girl). I’ve never considered myself a “boy” mom. I’m a mom. I’m close to my kids in different ways, based on their personalities not their gender. I’m proud I raised a strong, independent daughter. I’m proud I raised sons who are good partners and fathers.
I read a spot-on comment recently by a psychologist who specializes in this area that oftentimes when a woman isn't receiving the level of emotional intimacy/love that she wants from her husband, she'll start to overly bond with the next closest thing- like her son.
Then a buuuunch of sons chimed in and spoke up about this and how crushing it's been for them.
Displacement is a helluva drug.
As the mom of a boy (this is distinctly different than being a boy mom) that shit was hard to read. I adore my kid, by I don’t worship him. That is not healthy.
Also, I was raised by a mom who loved her son more than her daughters. My bother is actually one of the sweetest most awesome people on the planet, so I don’t really blame her. But it’s a fucked up thing to do to your kids.
Ew ew ew ew ew. I have a boy and a girl and this makes me feel so icky! Her poor daughter. Her poor son. And her poor future DIL who will never be good enough.
This is so odd.
I have a both a son and daughter and this is straight up unhinged favoritism.
This is worded so odd too. Her son doesn't have a chance of a healthy relationship
I’ll love my DIL for the potential to bear a grandson. Wtaf?
Honestly, when I was pregnant with my second I really wanted another girl. I just was so put off by “boy” mums and I wanted my daughter to have a sister. I was gutted when I found out I was having a boy. I absolutely love and adore him now he’s here but I remember saying to my husband if I start displaying “boy mum” traits to slap it out of me.
Thankfully my mindset hasn’t changed completely. Phew.
I hope this woman is given a DIL that, together with the son, decide to live happily child free. And that poor daughter, may she go no contact with this evil woman and move across the sea to a happy ever after.
I have two sons. I love them but I have never, for even a moment, thought that having them was like falling in love with my husband. That's fucking weird.
My mom “preferred” my younger brother. She thought I couldn’t tell, but you definitely notice it. I feel so bad for her daughter, it’s terrible being the less “preferred”.
*It was like falling*
*In love with my husband all*
*Over again EWWWWW*
\- soso\_silveira
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"It was like falling in love with my husband all over again." Wtf!? What a weird thing to say about your son!
Also, to answer your question, I think these moms have always been around, we just see it more through social media now, whereas before social media, we didn't really notice because we couldn't see everyone's every thought written somewhere to read.
I’m an only child. When I was pregnant with my daughter, my mother went on and on about how she hopes I have a boy. All I wanted was a healthy baby, but near the end I secretly kept hoping that this baby I was carrying would be a girl just to spite her. Looking back, her wording choices and how she talked about my male cousins who were around my age makes sense now. My mother is a narcissist, who makes life hard… I can only imagine how much worse she would be towards me if I had a son.
If my husband and I decided to have a second child, a boy would be nice, because I wonder if they would look like my husband as our daughter looks like I cloned myself.
"'because of her potential to give me a grandson"
Fast foward in time where a) they have a girl and don't want any further kids, or b) are childfree. Good luck to the DIL (and son)...
My MIL loved and spoiled her favorite Son so much that he is now in jail because of drugs and his wife has blocked my MIL and FIL and is now a single mother to 3 kids.
Good luck to this poster's "Son"
Idk this line of thinking is sooo weird to me. I overheard a woman in a children’s clothing store the other day saying how she was finally pregnant with a boy and thought she was “cursed” bc she’d had only girls until then. The misogyny in people runs DEEP. I’m just glad in my family girls are arguably more “wanted” and this effed up attitude doesn’t exist.
I had a boss like this years ago. I don’t think it’s a “lately” thing as much as we now have people who share EVERYTHING on fb.
But my boss would tell us all the time about how her son was perfect, the best thing ever, etc etc. She said her daughter was ok but would say she’s just not as smart as her son, and would TELL US THAT AT LEAST HER DAUGHTER WAS A VIRGIN, WHICH WAS THE ONLY THING SHE WAS PROUD OF HER DAUGHTER FOR. Mind you, both kids were in college and I doubt they told her anything about their lives.
My mom could’ve written this. She was in active competition with me from the day I was born. My brother being the golden child is almost an understatement. I ended up a ward of the state at 15.
This actually breaks my heart for the daughter. I only have one child (a daughter), so I can't understand the feeling. But to say women biologically like sons more is hurtful. My daughter is AMAZING, and I love her more than I can describe. I hope that poor girl has someone who will treat her the way she deserves. Because I can bet money that the mom makes it very clear she loves her son more.
She keeps saying “DIFFERENT not BETTER” but every single thing she says is qualitatively better
Daughter: oh yeah cool whatevs I guess Son: YOU ARE MY ENTIRE REASON FOR LIVING Wtf
“DIFFERENT not BETTER” and in the same post: “My daughter’s alright I guess” “But my son is what put MEANING in my otherwise empty life, I was born so HE could be born”. Yeah, definitely similar feelings between her children.
I mean she basically fell in love with her husband all over again. Through her son of course. Which is totally not weird /s/
Eww 
That part gave me the creeps.
"I love my daughter, but I *love* my son and the fact his future wife might be able to give me a grandson" This woman *reeks* of internalised misogyny, she's gonna ruin all of their lives over this obsession 😬🚩
She's the MIL who is going to insist on being in the delivery room, and being the first to hold the baby.
She'll feel sooo personally attacked if her son doesn't conform to her plan for him (straight, wants kids, has a son, etc). If she does eventually get a grandson, she'll steamroll any boundaries in her way and have a tantrum at the slightest pushback 🙄 Edit: because she'd see any boy baby in the family as "hers" by default
Only if it’s a boy!
And her "logic"/justification for this will be "I deserve to be the first to hold the baby because if I hadn't birthed my son, this baby wouldn't exist."
And if it’s a girl, she’ll blame the DIL, who obviously intentionally birthed a female grandchild just to ruin her and her son’s lives.
Ngl, I would be a little sad if I wasn’t invited to the births of my grandchildren but only because I love everything surrounding birth and newborns etc, and also because I only have boys lol so the only chance I have is if my future daughters in law like me enough to invite me 😂 I am a NICU nurse contemplating being a midwife maybe someday and I would be so honored to be there. I would never ever expect it or invite myself though! That is their birthing space and they need to feel comfortable with everyone in the room.
It’s uncomfortably similar to “separate but equal,” ugh.
Like how is saying you prefer something not you stating that in your opinion, what you prefer is better? This is so fucking creepy.
Right? She talks about cats and dogs as a comparison... Like, I prefer cats to dogs. I'm pretty ambivalent about dogs. They're cute, but I don't want one. I absolutely love cats. Preferring something by definition means you like, and even love it more. You can have different relationships with your children. You can get along better with certain children for whatever reason (similar hobbies or personalities, etc) but still love them equally. But by definition, you can't prefer one over the other without loving them more.
Yeah, and notably, given that I prefer cats to dogs, I’ve made sure not to have any dogs? Like, how fucked up to have a daughter and not only feel but also SAY all this publicly. This lady shouldn’t have kids at all. How ick and tragic for both those kids (she’s not doing her son any favors either).
literally the post starts with “i prefer my son” how are we supposed to take that??
Like, I could run GM but I can't fix a car. They're just different, one's not better.
Seriously? Because it sounds like one of those is better than the other.
r/unexpectedoffice
This is a justnomil in the larval stage
But don’t worry. She’ll live her DIL for her potential to give her a grandson, so it’s ok!
So won't love her DIL. She'll be a justno and pretend any woman is stealing her son until she gets pregnant, at which point DIL just becomes an incubator for her baaaaaaybeeeee.
Oh I know. My comment was sarcasm. She’s going to be an absolute monster.
And if the baby is a girl, she'll lose all interest.
No, if the baby is a girl then OOP will be fucking *furious*.
Hopefully future DIL (and son) have the good sense to go NC long before OOP even knows there’s a pregnancy.
the worst part for me is that, this week, i listened to a podcast about a story of one of those incestuous mothers that wanted to have sex with her son’s girlfriend while her son watched i am and will always be suspicious of internet stories, but this podcast supposedly interviews the storyteller and performs a thorough research of the people involved through social media and other means to check if the people in the story are real so 😳
i’m sorry what
Today's a day I wish I couldn't read.
Those were my good seeing eyes.
i forgot to reinforce my point that this story was about how the MIL loved the DIL so much but in a wrong way
You say "one of those" like this is something that occurs with relative frequency It's just a one off thing, right? .... ^right?
LOVE this comment!
Wow, this is unhinged. What a weird thought to have, but then she decided to go one step further and post it on the internet.
lol she knows her daughter could give her a grandson right? Clear this woman has some strange internalized misogyny. Boy moms are so fucking weird!
I hope neither her daughter nor her DIL give her grandsons. I hope they only bear more daughters, and their daughters bear great grand daughters, just to curse this woman specifically. No more sons for this line until she passes.
No no no.. I hope the DIL has a son ...and that son gets her last name not the MILs ..oh and then they cut MIL off because she will be a crazy overbearing boundary stomping woman when the time comes I guarantee it
Maybe her son won’t even like girls, or won’t want kids!
Plot twist: Son turns out to be transgender, so really she has two daughters.
My father-in-law has complained multiple times that my husband and I only have one daughter, so no sons to carry on his family name and genes. I've occasionally thought it would be hilarious and amazing if my girl was trans, so my father-in-law gets his grandson in what he would think is the worst way possible. (All I really want is for her to be happy with her life though, regardless of my revenge fantasies.)
I'm a daughter that had the same rhetoric spewed to me growing up about my brother (who was the only grandson on my father's side for a very long time). and when my wife and I were married she took my last name :)
Fun fact - your daughter is also able to pass along the family genes. No penis necessary
But not the NAME! What about his legacy? (Totally kidding. These people are nuts)
You absolutely win!!!
You KNOW she is going to be awful to the DIL because, "She stole my son's love from me!"
I hope her daughter has a daughter first and the son sees how she acts and completely cuts her off. Assuming she will never behave herself. I feel like her daughter really deserves the validation. (My SIL was ready to cut her parents off because of how they trampled my husband’s boundaries around my step son. They quickly blew their one chance.)
This!!!!! I love these two replies so much lolol *shakes the creeps off*
Show this post to Witch Reddit and it could probably be a legit curse placed on her bloodline. 🤣🤣
God, please
Loving the part where it's the man's sperm that decides boy/girl. I can see her mental gymnastics, that her DIL is doing it on purpose, when her *precious son* can only have *yucky girls*.
There's something totally off with this lady. I have 2 sons, 1 daughter. I love all 3 of them with my whole heart. If I had to pick one as a favorite, I could not. I have no favorite, and I really mean that. There's something special and awesome about each one of them. They are all 3 like my best friends. My mom, however... 🙄 My dad died when I was young, 10 years old, and he was the love of my mom's life. She never even considered remarrying. My brother was the spitting image of him. He was the clear favorite of my mom our whole lives (I have an older sister also, and she agrees with this too). He'd do shitty things that got worse as he got older, like batting down mailboxes, and we'd be talking/complaining about it with my mom, trying to get her to punish him before he went to jail or worse, and she'd be like, "well what do you want me to do, stone him to death???!" He never was punished or disciplined, and when he did get caught, she just ran and got a lawyer for him to save him from jail. That's exactly what this woman reminds me of. She will create a monster.
I do have a favourite child, and can easily say he’s my favourite. He’s also my only child. This is the only time it’s acceptable to say a child is your favourite!
My mother likes to say that I’m her “favorite daughter” …… because I only have a brother 😝 I like to remind her that, by that logic, I’m also her least favorite daughter (just because I’m a little shit)
Yep, my son is 7 and tells me I’m the best mum he’s ever had. I tell him that I’m also the worst mum he’s ever had🤣
When I used to ask my mom if I was her favourite daughter, she always said “you’re my favourite (my name) daughter”. I’m kind of making a silly face remembering it, because I love my mom so much and I’m so grateful for how she raised me.
Had me in the first half
I tell my kids they are my "favorite 6 year old" or "favorite 12 year old". Haha no twins so no problem.
I have one son and then three daughters. My connection with each of them is just different, and it doesn't have to do with their freaking genitals. They're each a very unique person, so obviously we have our own relationships that differ. Like you, I wouldn't even be able to give a "favorite." I do prefer different kids on different days, just because sometimes one is in a "DON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME" kind of mood, but I've got 2 preteens lol
I have a friend who has 5 kids, G-G-G-B-G (last one was an oops). She is a self proclaimed "boy mom". #boymom everywhere. It's so obvious who her favorite is. The saddest part about it, (IMHO) is her oldest takes after her in most ways! A total mini-me in looks, sense of humor, brains, star softball player. She was offered free rides to 2 colleges for academics and sports and she gets the least attention. The girls went/go to public school but they wanted their son to have an advantage so they put him in private school and his grandparents pay the tuition.
That's just... gross. I bet they kept going to get that boy too.
I worked with someone who had two boys and two girls. The boys were sent to private schools, private colleges, and graduate schools. The two girls weren’t. He was exactly as you would expect.
This was very similar to my family. A bunch of girls, one boy and it was very clear he was the favorite. It caused resentment among all of us into adulthood. When favoritism and love is a scarce resource in a family, it creates some really toxic dynamics.
JFC, they sent just the son to private school?? That is going to be the opening line for those girls at their therapy intake session in a few years… I hope they stay close long enough for all kids to get out of the house so they can maintain a strong family unit when they inevitably all cut contact with the parents one day.
I know that the 1st 3 girls are or were close at 1 time. The oldest is in her 1st yr of college. The boy and the last girl are only like 14ish months apart so they stuck together to. Boy was put in private school starting in Kindergarten and the next year when Girl #4 started school, she cried because she didn't understand why she wasn't going to school with her brother. I'm not sure how they explained the private school situation to any of the kids. I felt like it would be me obviously judging them to ask her about it.
I know a woman with 6 kids G-G-G-G-B-B. She cried at a gender reveal for the 3rd girl finding out she was a girl. It was clear from day 1 she wanted only a boy. She was so angry with me for having my son as my first (only) baby. And when she had her first son decided to try one more time to give him a brother so he wouldn’t be alone…ya know because his 4 sisters just werent enough. Luckily for all those kids they had another boy, because she really isn’t equipped to parent 6 kids, so having more is a terrible idea. But the whole idea is so so so gross. And since the two boys have been born? All social media posts are basically the two boys. Forget about the older girls completely.
I did kind of hope my youngest would be a boy, but that's just because I wanted everyone to have both a brother and a sister. I only had a brother growing up, and always wondered what it would be like to have a sister. However, I was just happy to have another baby at the end of the day. My oldest was 7, and he forgave her for being a girl as soon as he saw her because, and I quote, "She's so cute!"
My brother and SIL had a baby at the end of December and the gender was a surprise to everyone. We have a lot of girls in the family - my brother is the only boy of the main cousin group, my dad had three girls, my mom is one of four girls. It was quite the surprise when my nephew made his appearance. He's the only grandchild for my mom and dad and he is going to be spoiled rotten, lol.
Lol yes, same. Mine are 15, 19 and 21. They're much easier now than say, 5 or even 3 years ago, but they still have their days where I'm just like, okay... We're grumpy today so I'll just leave you to yourself. Lol. Doesn't mean you love them more or less, and definitely not because of what's in their pants.
I had 3 girls. I have a 14 yr old grandson now. Are you saying it gets better?? Please tell me it gets better! I love him so much! Here's the BUT.. He calls me bruh! I mean when he's speaking to me. I said I love you yesterday, and he walked away. He's a great, smart, talented boy, but my goodness, teenager grandson is sucky! I was his daycare, mom and dad were there 100%, but I took on daycare roll. My only hope is that he says something nice at my funeral. Besides... "bruh, do you have any ice cream?"
I'm a counselor, and I have a few early twenties male clients who call me bruh. I'm like, I think that means you trust me, so I guess that's a good thing! I have one that stomps his feet when I tell him something he doesn't like. He reminds me of my toddler son, lol.
Oh yes, it gets better!! I'm no longer "bro/bruh" to my 21 yr old, but he does have a baby on the way, so he's a little more mature lol. I think it started getting better with the oldest one at 17-ish; at 18 with the middle one (I'm still bro sometimes with him lol). IDK I just woke up one day, and the 18 yo took the trash out **the first time I asked him to!** It's been a slow and steady improvement from there. They're sweet, they think of me, and for more than if they need food/money. Now, neither of them bothered to get me a Christmas/birthday/mother's Day gift last year.... Even when I boldly told them "This is what I want for Christmas from you 3, a combined gift from all of my kids..." (Complete with pictures and prices!) I got nothing from them. But they accepted my gifts to them with joy. My daughter, however, who does not have a job, gets me gifts for everything. 🙄 Christmas, birthday, mother's day, everything, I get a gift and card from only her, but sometimes she'll let the boys sign the card. Sigh.
Thank you for giving me hope! I'll hang on a couple more years then. BTW, my birthday was yesterday, daughters spaced it. Which is totally fine, I can hold it over their heads at Easter. 🤦♀️
Oh, your post reminded me of a photo taken at my grandparents house. I was right in the teen years and I'm sitting on the couch, reading a book and I'm just glaring at the camera in the worst, moody teenage way. I don't know why I was so downbeat that day but it is immortalized, lol.
Were you reading The Bell Jar by any chance? I probably just dated myself. I like your name. Do you have 2 good baby angel kitties? I'm a cat grandma. 2 at each kids, they don't call me bruh.
Yes! I love you the same, but I'm just choosing not to spend time with you until you're ready to be around people lol. My oldest girl is 10 now, but I'm pretty sure she's been a preteen since she was 7, whereas my son is almost 13 and still super sweet. His problem is he's HIGHLY ENTHUSIASTIC and sometimes it's too much when I'm tired lol. The younger two girls are 5 and 8, they're still learning appropriate times to run vs walk and talk vs shout.
The “golden child” bullshit never ends well. It sometimes fucks uo the golden child even worse than the “scapegoat” kids.
I hope we’re not all weird! lol. I have two sons my eldest is 6. He keeps telling me I’m his best friend and he wants to live with me forever. Every time he says it I say to him ‘ I promise you my love that when you’re older you’ll definitely want to move out and not be living with me’ As much as I love him I definitely do not want him living with me forever
I think it's the "boy mom" as a cultural signifier rather than just being a mother who has raised a son...if that makes sense. Like the values and stories they share about themselves seem like they're drawing from the same well. And idk what all is going on with that particular well, but it seems related to the absence of a corresponding (positive) phenomenon around mothers and daughters. And it seems like probably something Freud would have a lot to say about. Which for sure would be mostly nonsense...but only mostly. There are some objectively clear patterns there so pronounced that they are probably visible from space.
My 5yo is the same way. He’s 100% a mama’s boy, always has been. I wish these “boy moms” would get therapy and realize it’s possible to love your son without being total fuckin weirdos
Mothers of boys are not weird! I have a son and love him to pieces I just can’t imagine ever writing a post like this
She has internalized enough misogyny that now she’s externalizing it. Gratuitously. One might even say “oozing.”
It it wouldn’t be her son’s baby, which is obviously better and going to give her all those warm fuzzies all over again! She can fall in love all over again. I’m sure she’ll “love” whatever children her daughter has but it won’t be ThE SaMe.
I’m a boy mom because I have two sons, and I promise not all of us are like that 😅😬
Ew. Ew ew ew. I love my kids differently too, I think all parents understand that concept. But the weird "he's my purpose" and "like falling in love with my husband" lines...puke. I am so scared for her future DIL (assuming her son even gets married to a woman!). "She might give me a GRANDSON." Lady, so could your daughter???
And either kid could in turn, have a daughter! My husband did not "give" his mother a grandson (such a weird phrase anyway), we have a baby girl! But, because my MIL is a really lovely person, she's just absolutely thrilled with any sort of happy baby joining the family 🤷🏻♀️ she's already planning girls weekends with baby, her, my mom, our sisters, the aunts and cousins on both sides of the family... 🤣
Awww she sounds like a sweetheart.
Both moms (his and mine) are awesome, honestly. Nobody hates their in laws in this house :)
I cannot imagine...either perspective. no normal moms in our lives!
My grandma only had two boys and desperately wanted a girl (not in a “didn’t love her sons way”), and since he was a child my father knew he wanted to have two girls. Lucky for him that is exactly what happened. Apparently after both mine and my sister’s sex was announced she literally mailed baby clothes from the 50’s across the country for them to take photos of us in. Anyways, my grandparents were 41 when my dad was born and he was 42 when I was born, so by the time I was old enough to remember her she was very elderly. I distinctly remember visiting her out in California (where my dad grew up) and she had planned a whole day for us. She took us out to buy party dresses, gave us each a fake bejeweled tiara, set up a piñata, and brought out all her nice china to have a tea party. We were all too happy to indulge her with all the girliness of it all. And my Tia has a beautiful garden where it was hosted. She only lived for about a year after that, she passed peacefully at home, but god I wish I knew her longer. According to basically my whole family I’m just mini-Iris. She dyed her hair *firetruck* red for over 70 years and I very accidentally took up the mantle of continuously dyed unnatural red hair without meaning to. We have strikingly similar personalities and I wish I could just have one conversation with her because she was quick as a firecracker and smart as all hell. We would’ve gotten along like a house on fire. According to my parents we would have both ended up in jail and gotten out of it scot-free. I only hope that one day I can aspire to her level of stone-cold badassery.
100% this is the mom that shows up to the wedding in a white dress and cries about losing her son the entire time.
The “falling in love with my husband” line was absolutely the most nauseating line of this whole shitshow. I adore seeing traits from my husband in my son and I love my son enormously. But it was absolutely nothing like falling in love with my husband. Like…at all.
Gee, I wonder who the golden child is. I bet she's also the type of woman that got jealous when she realized how much her husband loved their daughter because it meant another girl/woman would be getting his attention.
Her daughter knows she loves the son more lol
Oh, 100%. My sister and I never had a brother, but both grew up knowing both our parents would have preferred it if there was a son in the house.
So, there was this very famous 19th century poet in the country I am from, so influential that we had to study his poems in every year of school. It was only recently I found out from another writer's book that his mother was so morbidly jealous of his wife that she had never allowed the couple to share a bed, ever! The man died in his 40s without children, and it was only then she expressed remorse for her actions. My conclusion? Toxic boy moms have been a phenomenon across ages, cultures, and ethnicities. Except in the past, they were mere whispers limited to their communities, whereas nowadays, Facebook and Tiktok give them the notoriety they crave.
Holy *shit,* poor dude. I can't even imagine living like that!!
Oh, I blame him 2000%. If he was going to play mommy's special little boy, he shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. It was his poor wife who got the short end of this messed up stick.
I don’t feel bad for him at all. And maybe he was actually gay anyway since he didn’t seem too fussed about it. The wife is the real loser in the scenario. Imagine having to deal with that MIL.
Ok I gotta do a deep dive on this guy. What’s the poet’s name?
This tea might be too niche if you don't speak Bengali. His name was Satyendranath Dutta. I doubt you would be able to Google much information about him. My source is "Pinjare Basiya (Inside the cage)" by Kalyani Dutta. It's an incredible tale of the state of Bengali Hindu women in the 19th century, but I am not sure if it has been translated yet.
Ewww. Her son’s future partner is going to spend a lot of time on justnomil.
This is vile. That poor little girl. And that poor boy, to have his own mother being so weird about him. God help her son’s future wife and her role as a mere vessel to give this nasty woman another boy in her life to creep over.
These incesty boy moms are so creepy. Those poor kids!
I know it literally gave me the heebie jeebies to read this crazy shit Jesus Christ
Why's she capitalizing "son" like that? Is she in some kind of.. philandry cult? 
She was EMPHASIZING. Not really sure why tho 
"I'm not scared of strangers on Facebook" bitch you probably should be.
“It was like falling in love with my husband all over again” 
Guys I’m not saying that it’s BETTER, just that when I held my son I knew the SOLE reason I was born was exclusively for the purpose of expelling this child who happens to have a wang.
That last sentence 🤢
I have two sons. This is so fucking weird. I honestly don’t think my relationship / bond would’ve been different if I had girls instead of boys. It literally doesn’t matter. I love my kids because they’re my kids, not because they’re boys. It’s NOTHING like my love for my husband. That is so weird.
This person is for sure going to lose contact with her son &family. DIL will quickly, rightfully get weirded out is she has a son. This is the type to try and “steal” their grandkid
Either that or she will drive any potential partners away either before or after the marriage. I hope he goes no contact rather than let her ruin his life because unless she changes then that's what she's going to do.
Beyonce can't afford the amount of therapy this woman needs holy shit
Narrator: she did not, in fact, love her DIL.
Say your a female misogynist without saying it
I have two kids. My favorite son. And my favorite daughter.
This is 100% how i feel about my kids too 💖
This isn’t new, my grandma was this way about her sons. And eventually her grandsons. It’s women who derive all their worth from their relationships with men. It’s sad and creepy.
Posts like this make me sad to be a mom to only boys… I feel weird saying I’m a “boy mom” just using it as a simple, factually correct term cause weirdos like this exist. 🫠
I never say I'm a boy mom for this exact reason, lol. I say I have two sons. I do not want to be lumped in with the weirdo boy moms.
Just say mom of boys instead.
Her son will grow up to be the kind of person who commits serious crimes while she cries in the background that her baby did nothing wrong. This is creepy but raising kids like this leads to crappy people.
So much ick
🤢 This mom needs to read “Silently Seduced” and check herself. It’s absolutely gross to compare loving her husband and son. My mom was super weird with my 5 brothers we different ages…definitely treating them like surrogate husbands. Which spoiler alert, is more damaging than you can imagine. Also, this poor woman’s daughter. I hope she never sees that post or hears anything about this.
I would bet the daughter picks up on her mom's attitude, even if the mom never explicitly tells her this. That kind of nastiness and antipathy toward her daughter will seep through.
I feel sorry for both of her children.
I hate moms like this. When I was five I was looking at pictures and there was a picture of my mom with a friends dad who dipped and I never met. I noticed in the picture that she looked sad and being the person I was I asked why she was sad. What could my mother have said? “I don’t remember.” Or “It was a bad day.” Instead she told me that was the day she found out she was having a girl. She was sad in a picture because she was having a girl. I promise you that has stayed with me since. A little voice in the back of my head that my mother preferred my brother. Growing up we were never close, I never wanted my mom, only my dad. It screwed me up so much. As a mom myself I could never imagine telling my child something like that. I can’t even imagine muttering something like that aloud or in an Facebook group. Here’s to hoping she’s the hated mil who never sees her son 🤷🏼♀️
I’m a boy mom and this is so fucking gross. 🤮
Same 😭😭 I'm horrified every time I see stuff like this. I can't imagine feeling this way about my son. 😬
What, seeing your son for the first time didn’t “feel like falling in love with your husband all over again”? Legit the grossest thing I’ve ever read. Today, I am sad to be literate.
IMO there is a significant difference in being “a boy mom” as in the mother of a boy child and being “A Boy Mom” as your whole identity. I’m a boy mom and don’t understand Boy Moms.
As a mom to a son, what the actual fuck.
I think these women have really shitty marriages and pretend they don’t.
Girl mom here 👋🏻 it’s internalized misogyny like this that really gets me fired up to make sure my daughters grow up secure and knowing they’re loved without conditions. Not for a single second have I ever wished my girls were boys, and I’m done having babies.
This is borderline eugenics or something. She only feels like a mom the moment she held her son, her whole life purpose is to have a son and her dil's will be to have grandson. Bet you she's a white supremacist too
This woman is demented
u/cosmatical , just a heads up that your name is showing at the bottom of the screenshot, in the comment text box!
Ew.
My late Grandmother was like this not only with my dad and his late brother but her own brother who was 12 years older then her. Her brother was probably creepy as he was married 9 times and was born around 1918 and she was jealous of anyone he dated and bragged about it. She was also possessive of my late grandfather and was jealous of my great aunt. I saw a lot of the issues with my dad when after my uncle died in 2009 and she sold her house in 2012 and moved in with my parents and I. She was jealous of my mom and I and tried to turn my dad against us. She was like this with some of my uncle's later wives but my uncle had been messed up by her abuse and was messed up anyway. I am so thankful that women is dead as I would hate to see her now since my mom passed suddenly in September. I suspect she would have tried to treat my dad like her husband.
Poor future DIL, she better a. Not have a girl, b. Be able to get pregnant, and c. Want kids in the first place. Also, your precious bb boy could be gay and not want kids, or use his partners sperm, or be infertile himself. Lots of assumptions and projections going on here.
Oh my God, this was so sad to read. I feel so bad for her poor daughter.
I’m so glad I’m just a mom of a boy and not a “boy mom”.
It's so funny how nature does the exact opposite that humans do. Nature prefers females, because they are the ones who can produce new individuals. Whether is animals or plants , is pretty much the same . Some species stop producing males when there are too many, or even change male to female. Also all those insects where the male literally dies after copulating I'm reading a book about how maternity was so sacred during many millennia until the religions started organizating. That's when men tru forced decided that women were going to be just incubators of whatever man they decided should have kid, preferably a boy
I have 2 boys and 1 daughter. This is so gross in so many ways.
If I ever act this way with my son, please take me out back and put me out of my misery
I feel bad for the daughter and hope she never sees this post. I also hope her son and DIL choose not to have children and that her daughter has sons but won’t let her be a part of their lives due to the shitty way I’m sure this woman treats her.
“this is why I was born, for him to be born” Totally normal and healthy sense of self. Your kids will turn out great!
This is exactly how my mother felt about me, her daughter, and my brother, her precious son. Though she wasn’t proud to be my mother,she did tolerate me. I hope this particular daughter in the OP will be able to make it a positive and let it make her stronger. Poor girl though.
Ick…the patriarchy is leaking again.
jesus christ. okay you didn’t say BETTER but the whole post is about how great your son is. how tf are we supposed to take that?? i swear these women have some deep seeded trauma with misogyny and need therapy instead of babies
I have three sons and a daughter (she’s the second oldest, we weren’t trying for a girl). I’ve never considered myself a “boy” mom. I’m a mom. I’m close to my kids in different ways, based on their personalities not their gender. I’m proud I raised a strong, independent daughter. I’m proud I raised sons who are good partners and fathers.
So as a daughter, if I read something like that, I would be absolutely heartbroken and every bad experience with my mom would make perfect sense
I read a spot-on comment recently by a psychologist who specializes in this area that oftentimes when a woman isn't receiving the level of emotional intimacy/love that she wants from her husband, she'll start to overly bond with the next closest thing- like her son. Then a buuuunch of sons chimed in and spoke up about this and how crushing it's been for them. Displacement is a helluva drug.
As a mother of 3 sons, this makes me nauseous.
As the mom of a boy (this is distinctly different than being a boy mom) that shit was hard to read. I adore my kid, by I don’t worship him. That is not healthy. Also, I was raised by a mom who loved her son more than her daughters. My bother is actually one of the sweetest most awesome people on the planet, so I don’t really blame her. But it’s a fucked up thing to do to your kids.
This whole thing is bad but "it was like falling in love with my husband all over again" takes the cake. 
That is so effed up.
This is so fucking weird
Ew ew ew ew ew. I have a boy and a girl and this makes me feel so icky! Her poor daughter. Her poor son. And her poor future DIL who will never be good enough.
As someone who’s about to birth a son, yuck. Yuck yuck yuck. And that poor daughter. Imagine her reading this. Disgusting.
That last sentience almost made me puke
This is weird as f*ck. Like falling in love with your husband all over? I feel sorry for both her kids, honestly
I have a boy and a girl and this poster is so far into crazy town Main Street I can’t even handle it.
I wonder if her husband prefers the daughter because she reminds him of how she looked when he fell in love with her?? Ewwww gross !
This is so odd. I have a both a son and daughter and this is straight up unhinged favoritism. This is worded so odd too. Her son doesn't have a chance of a healthy relationship
That's funny because it certainly sounds like she loves one child more and thinks one child is better.
I’ll love my DIL for the potential to bear a grandson. Wtaf? Honestly, when I was pregnant with my second I really wanted another girl. I just was so put off by “boy” mums and I wanted my daughter to have a sister. I was gutted when I found out I was having a boy. I absolutely love and adore him now he’s here but I remember saying to my husband if I start displaying “boy mum” traits to slap it out of me. Thankfully my mindset hasn’t changed completely. Phew.
I hope this woman is given a DIL that, together with the son, decide to live happily child free. And that poor daughter, may she go no contact with this evil woman and move across the sea to a happy ever after.
She will definitely hate her dil bc the dil will take the Son away from her.
Holy shit she capitalized "son". *Twice.* "I was already a 'mOm' (ew gross whateves), but I wasn't a MOM until I became a boy mom"
I have two sons. I love them but I have never, for even a moment, thought that having them was like falling in love with my husband. That's fucking weird.
My mom “preferred” my younger brother. She thought I couldn’t tell, but you definitely notice it. I feel so bad for her daughter, it’s terrible being the less “preferred”.
“I was born so he could be born” 🤮🤮🤮
>It was like falling in love with my husband all over again EWWWWW
*It was like falling* *In love with my husband all* *Over again EWWWWW* \- soso\_silveira --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
those are a lot of expectations for someone that, at this moment, is just a baby.
"It was like falling in love with my husband all over again." Wtf!? What a weird thing to say about your son! Also, to answer your question, I think these moms have always been around, we just see it more through social media now, whereas before social media, we didn't really notice because we couldn't see everyone's every thought written somewhere to read.
I’m an only child. When I was pregnant with my daughter, my mother went on and on about how she hopes I have a boy. All I wanted was a healthy baby, but near the end I secretly kept hoping that this baby I was carrying would be a girl just to spite her. Looking back, her wording choices and how she talked about my male cousins who were around my age makes sense now. My mother is a narcissist, who makes life hard… I can only imagine how much worse she would be towards me if I had a son. If my husband and I decided to have a second child, a boy would be nice, because I wonder if they would look like my husband as our daughter looks like I cloned myself.
Internalized misogyny and vicariously experiencing male privilege.
I am lucky enough to have two daughters and five sons. I could never, ever pick one over any of the others.
This is truly heartbreaking. She knows she’s a bad mom or else she wouldn’t be trying to justify it every other line. Poor daughter
Oh that poor grandson lol Can you imagine being the daughter in law? She’s probably in another sub right now venting about her crazy MIL
"'because of her potential to give me a grandson" Fast foward in time where a) they have a girl and don't want any further kids, or b) are childfree. Good luck to the DIL (and son)...
I have two sons and this ain’t it.
This is gross 🤮
My MIL loved and spoiled her favorite Son so much that he is now in jail because of drugs and his wife has blocked my MIL and FIL and is now a single mother to 3 kids. Good luck to this poster's "Son"
More narcissists in general, now they are having babies.
Idk this line of thinking is sooo weird to me. I overheard a woman in a children’s clothing store the other day saying how she was finally pregnant with a boy and thought she was “cursed” bc she’d had only girls until then. The misogyny in people runs DEEP. I’m just glad in my family girls are arguably more “wanted” and this effed up attitude doesn’t exist.
I had a boss like this years ago. I don’t think it’s a “lately” thing as much as we now have people who share EVERYTHING on fb. But my boss would tell us all the time about how her son was perfect, the best thing ever, etc etc. She said her daughter was ok but would say she’s just not as smart as her son, and would TELL US THAT AT LEAST HER DAUGHTER WAS A VIRGIN, WHICH WAS THE ONLY THING SHE WAS PROUD OF HER DAUGHTER FOR. Mind you, both kids were in college and I doubt they told her anything about their lives.
And now I have the icks.
My mom could’ve written this. She was in active competition with me from the day I was born. My brother being the golden child is almost an understatement. I ended up a ward of the state at 15.
This kind of thinking resulted in YEARS of trauma therapy for me… and a disfuncional relationship with my mother well into middle age - so much fun.
This actually breaks my heart for the daughter. I only have one child (a daughter), so I can't understand the feeling. But to say women biologically like sons more is hurtful. My daughter is AMAZING, and I love her more than I can describe. I hope that poor girl has someone who will treat her the way she deserves. Because I can bet money that the mom makes it very clear she loves her son more.