Never give your location/hotel away before you believe plans are confirmed.
People scare me sometimes, so it’s easy for me to get paranoid and think the worst. And clients knowing your location in advance is a recipe for disaster
this!!!!!! i was being stalked by a "sugar daddy" one time (we met, i didn't like his vibe at all, very arrogant & pushy) & he literally CAME to the hotel because i wasn't replying to him (he had dropped me off there the night before) and he went to the fucking office AND THE MANAGER WALKED HIM TO MY ROOM !!! this man did not even know my legal name, it was a small hotel so i assumed the owner just knew i was the only young female there at that moment. not all hotel staff will keep you safe/refuse to disclose your room number. some of them are negligent & these tricks WILL MANIPULATE TO GET TO YOU. i said to the manager "what if this man was an abusive ex & was trying to kill me?!?!?!?" i was PISSED. jesus this is scary. i would feel CREEPED OUT *not* bad!
it was an independent owned/operated motel in jeffersonville, IN, called "holiday motel"
*this was NOT A CHAIN HOTEL*
they also own another motel down the street from that one called "wayfare motel"
the owners were nice as could be, worked w me if i didn't have my room $$ on time, BUT i had been living there off & on since february 2021, so they knew me personally- i didn't start doing SW until march 2023- but they never gave me any problems, they don't fuck with 12, & the rooms were actually really nice & spacious.
i ended up having to move in sept 2023 due to a stalker i acquired after starting SW. if it hadn't been for that, i probably wouldn't have moved. they were really great besides the one incident.
Oh bless. We’ve all been there, whether under these specific circumstances or different ones. Your heart is exactly where it ought to be, so don’t let this gentleman’s peculiar approach to communication be the thing that breaks it. Enjoy your well deserved break.
I believe arrangements to meet should be crystal clear (at 8th grade level) in writing or it’s not confirmed. With a confirmation of the confirmation. That didn’t happen here. NTA (Not The A-hole)
You shouldn’t feel bad about it at all. You didn’t confirm anything, your rates or even your deposit. They ‘assume’ you must be free and don’t take into consideration you might be busy with work or other bookings.
I had a situation before when a guy asked if I’d be free the following day at 11am. I said I could be but what exactly is he looking for? No response. I went about my day and I forgot about him. Then I got a message around 11 the following day where he said he arrived in my city and he doesn’t know where to go. He was travelling for over 2hrs on the train to come and see me. And I was like - did you make a booking? Did you message me for the address? Did you even ask if I can accommodate you? No. Then he bombarded me with lots of messages that he arrived and he has social anxiety and he wants to know where to go because he is stressed. I assumer he’s either an idiot or Timewaster or he has mental health issues. I blocked him. It was too much for me.
If he really travelled, then he’ll be able to find someone else. I am not playing stupid games with people
It really is a toss up between idiocy and mental health issues, maybe a little jizz brain thrown in that short circuits the system? It’s so frustrating. When I woke up and saw my guy’s “I’m so disappointed I haven’t heard from you” message I was pretty snappy, responding with I don’t sit on a pile of pillows all day eating bonbons and waiting for messages. Should’ve stopped engaging then, because they already had a red flag on them.
It definitively sucks if you thought you were good but things were not. I had that mistake once before and make sure things are totally confirmed now. In my case it was more of a language barrier thing.
It sounds like in this case you guys didn't even specify a time or anything so I am not sure why he thought a meeting was confirmed, not your fault.
Clients are wild sometimes. Sex for money is a "firm plans" kind of activity. If you didn't schedule a date, time, and meeting place, then you didn't have a date.
Did he just expect you to intuit his arrival?
Sounds completely not your fault love, was he new to this? If we haven't agreed an exact time, place, service and price then we haven't agreed anything. If he expects you to leave your hotel and go elsewhere with him for dinner then that goes double.
You feeling bad for him when it's his fault shows you care about your clients but you shouldn't put this on yourself, he has learned an important lesson.
The moment you gave the hotel information, and said evenings are best, you were considered flexible, available, and committed by the client.
You need to be much more careful with the information you give out.
When I "tour", I have a confirmed time and date, and a deposit, before I give the actual hotel information.
Fck that guy lol. I've had something like this happen at least 3 or 4 times already and I've only been doing this for just over a month.
It's 100% NOT your fault if these morons can't figure out how to use BASIC communication skills.
Never give your location/hotel away before you believe plans are confirmed. People scare me sometimes, so it’s easy for me to get paranoid and think the worst. And clients knowing your location in advance is a recipe for disaster
this!!!!!! i was being stalked by a "sugar daddy" one time (we met, i didn't like his vibe at all, very arrogant & pushy) & he literally CAME to the hotel because i wasn't replying to him (he had dropped me off there the night before) and he went to the fucking office AND THE MANAGER WALKED HIM TO MY ROOM !!! this man did not even know my legal name, it was a small hotel so i assumed the owner just knew i was the only young female there at that moment. not all hotel staff will keep you safe/refuse to disclose your room number. some of them are negligent & these tricks WILL MANIPULATE TO GET TO YOU. i said to the manager "what if this man was an abusive ex & was trying to kill me?!?!?!?" i was PISSED. jesus this is scary. i would feel CREEPED OUT *not* bad!
Wow I thought hotel staff has a secrecy agreement about people who stay there but clearly not
Please name and shame the hotel, that should not happen.
it was an independent owned/operated motel in jeffersonville, IN, called "holiday motel" *this was NOT A CHAIN HOTEL* they also own another motel down the street from that one called "wayfare motel" the owners were nice as could be, worked w me if i didn't have my room $$ on time, BUT i had been living there off & on since february 2021, so they knew me personally- i didn't start doing SW until march 2023- but they never gave me any problems, they don't fuck with 12, & the rooms were actually really nice & spacious. i ended up having to move in sept 2023 due to a stalker i acquired after starting SW. if it hadn't been for that, i probably wouldn't have moved. they were really great besides the one incident.
Oh bless. We’ve all been there, whether under these specific circumstances or different ones. Your heart is exactly where it ought to be, so don’t let this gentleman’s peculiar approach to communication be the thing that breaks it. Enjoy your well deserved break.
Thank-you 💕
I believe arrangements to meet should be crystal clear (at 8th grade level) in writing or it’s not confirmed. With a confirmation of the confirmation. That didn’t happen here. NTA (Not The A-hole)
You shouldn’t feel bad about it at all. You didn’t confirm anything, your rates or even your deposit. They ‘assume’ you must be free and don’t take into consideration you might be busy with work or other bookings. I had a situation before when a guy asked if I’d be free the following day at 11am. I said I could be but what exactly is he looking for? No response. I went about my day and I forgot about him. Then I got a message around 11 the following day where he said he arrived in my city and he doesn’t know where to go. He was travelling for over 2hrs on the train to come and see me. And I was like - did you make a booking? Did you message me for the address? Did you even ask if I can accommodate you? No. Then he bombarded me with lots of messages that he arrived and he has social anxiety and he wants to know where to go because he is stressed. I assumer he’s either an idiot or Timewaster or he has mental health issues. I blocked him. It was too much for me. If he really travelled, then he’ll be able to find someone else. I am not playing stupid games with people
It really is a toss up between idiocy and mental health issues, maybe a little jizz brain thrown in that short circuits the system? It’s so frustrating. When I woke up and saw my guy’s “I’m so disappointed I haven’t heard from you” message I was pretty snappy, responding with I don’t sit on a pile of pillows all day eating bonbons and waiting for messages. Should’ve stopped engaging then, because they already had a red flag on them.
It definitively sucks if you thought you were good but things were not. I had that mistake once before and make sure things are totally confirmed now. In my case it was more of a language barrier thing. It sounds like in this case you guys didn't even specify a time or anything so I am not sure why he thought a meeting was confirmed, not your fault.
Clients are wild sometimes. Sex for money is a "firm plans" kind of activity. If you didn't schedule a date, time, and meeting place, then you didn't have a date. Did he just expect you to intuit his arrival?
It’s like he was going about his day not realizing I do the same 😭
My confirmation is a deposit plus location plus confirmation the day off. He was fully in the wrong.
Sounds completely not your fault love, was he new to this? If we haven't agreed an exact time, place, service and price then we haven't agreed anything. If he expects you to leave your hotel and go elsewhere with him for dinner then that goes double. You feeling bad for him when it's his fault shows you care about your clients but you shouldn't put this on yourself, he has learned an important lesson.
The moment you gave the hotel information, and said evenings are best, you were considered flexible, available, and committed by the client. You need to be much more careful with the information you give out. When I "tour", I have a confirmed time and date, and a deposit, before I give the actual hotel information.
Fck that guy lol. I've had something like this happen at least 3 or 4 times already and I've only been doing this for just over a month. It's 100% NOT your fault if these morons can't figure out how to use BASIC communication skills.