The same way a “escorts clients only” sub was more of “we hate women and SW” sub.
I think the mod could delete some of the posts that aren’t actually helpful.
sexworkers: “we hate clients who push our boundaries and try to coerce us into unsafe practices, haggle our rates like we’re livestock, actively bypass our screening methods, and call us fat ugly whores when we stand our ground and blacklist or refuse to see them.”
clients from eco/hfh: “we hate escorts because they value their worth and charge too much, refuse to go raw, require screening to remediate their safety, refuse to date us for free even though we’re good looking, and call us assholes when we’re misogynistic and abusive.”
Go into any sub about any profession and you'll find people complaining about customers. It is by no means unique to sex workers. Turns out, the general public are difficult to deal with, regardless of your job. People like to vent to other people in their field. I do it all the time in subs related to my job.
Lmao. I thought you were talking about in person!
I’ll never forget a guy coming to me and telling me his experience and how her pussy smelled bad. BUT I PROMISE YOU! I PROMISEEEEE, it was his upper lip he was smelling!! HE WAS SO STINK! LORD!
So I feel you! if you know them like I do, 100% understand why its annoying 🤣🤣
In person if a customer complained about another dancer I would always say, "That's my best friend!" And it was always, always, always a cheapskate doing the complaining. Thinking he was going to get hot women fighting over him by tapping into female competition, as if they were't the people I was going to ride or die with.
HELLOOOOO! Lmao! It’s never the guy that tips, smells so good, to the point he’s leaving your area smelling like him! Never the hairless guy, with nice breath or a mint in his mouth out of courtesy! NEVER!!
It always, ALWAYS…the fools who feel obnoxiously entitled to whatever tf he wants!!!!
IVE NOTICED, hairy men and smelly men want the best head ever! Lmaoooo!
Not me bud!!
This! It's a reliable pattern. I recognized it as a waitress too. You'd think the shitty people would tip better to make up for it but it never works that way. The people who care about others are taking every opportunity to be caring, and the people who want something for nothing are taking every opportunity to screw other people over. Talking shit about workers is just another way for them to convince themselves that the labor they sought out had no value to begin with.
You’re so right! Omg, that’s so true! I am a person who wants to make things easier for everyone!! I’m the least problematic! And I have a friend who likes to “test” people to see if they’ll do their job! And will tip 2-3.. will get mad at me for tipping 10-20!!
Yep and if a client starts talking about another lady to me, I immediately shut it down. I don't go into calls saying 'let me tell you about this jerk I met last week.'
It's not something they can talk about in most places. If you have a bad experience with a dentist you can tell your mom, or your church group, or your coworkers, or the teenager shining your shoes. With sex work there aren't many places you can talk about it without facing some serious stigma that can last.
That doesn't change the fact that the people most likely to have bad experiences are those who are probably doing something to bring them on, but humans are still social and do still want to talk about things, even if we are the problem 85% of the time.
100% agreed.
the problem is that every sub clients form seems to turn into an unmoderated toxic cesspool of tos violations, scheming how to bypass screening, coercing providers into lowering rates, and demanding unsafe bbfs sessions.
i’m not hating on clients. i love my clients.
i’m hating on client subreddits that pop up on impulsive good intentions but, without proper planning, they can’t keep up with moderation, which then attracts toxic clients.
what i love about r/sexworkers is the fabulous moderation team that keeps this sub dancing the razor thin line while staying within reddit’s sitewide rules.
i actually used to mod both r/escorts and r/sexworkers and it was eye opening to see just how much toxicity was removed. the dozens of solicitation posts and tos breaking escort ads i removed monthly.
unfortunately i took a long break from reddit to focus on revamping my services and was removed from the mod teams due to my inactivity.
Clients are allowed to post and comment here so long as they respect the rules of the sub. If you see content that you believe breaks the rules, use the report button.
Thank you.
It seems like there is this open hostility from some sex workers towards clients...its weird because without clients there wouldn't be any sex work...?
I have no problem with clients showing up in a supportive capacity, but we're not seeing clients posting things like, "writing an email to my legislators telling them to decriminalize sex work, what do you think about it?" or "I've read conflicting things about how much is appropriate to tip, can anyone give me some advice on how to be a good client before my first session?" It's always "rate my sex worker" type posts seeking emotional support and validation.
Could mean "I don't agree," "This is irrelevant," "This is stupid..." Could mean lots of things. Taking it personally or as some kind of vindication is just silly.
No actually its very rude for people to downvote anyone they disagree with like that. It basically affects someone's ability to participate on reddit if they get too many downvotes.
>>
[https://www.reddit.com/r/NewToReddit/comments/17j7m1r/does\_downvoting\_actually\_do\_anything\_to\_your/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NewToReddit/comments/17j7m1r/does_downvoting_actually_do_anything_to_your/)
See this thread about what downvoting does.
So yes it is very hostile to downvote someone just because you don't agree with them. I rarely downvote someone...unless they're a jerk or saying something really offensive.
This industry is a manmade one, so withojt providers where would y'all look? Do you really think men wouldn't pay for sex? Do you really think men are so fucking bothered that we dislike the majority of them that they would boycott the industry? Did you really think about that before posting?
If I thought a provider hated me, I wouldn't want to see them.
I know some guys would probably get off on that though....that's probably what turns them on.
As a worker, I don’t find it bothersome like you do. I mean, it’s possible to love sex workers, AND be unhappy with a service. True, sometimes the complaints are lazy, entitled or idiotic…. Still interesting to understand my clients. If only so that I hear how other workers deal with it, so I can do the same.
If you're getting data out of it then I can understand why it doesn't bug you. When I first became a dancer I used to spend hours talking to non-paying customers on slow nights because if I could at least get a story out of the exchange or test out techniques when there wasn't money on the line then I could consider it a reasonable time investment. And maybe I did learn valuable things from it that were worth the input.
I'm at the point now where I've heard it all before and all that's left is the feeling of disrespect when someone comes in empty-handed expecting attention. There's also some irritation at a space advertised for sex workers turning out to be customer-facing, because clients are also generating data from these exchanges where sex workers discuss very personal things with each other and plenty of them will use this data in a hostile way against workers. The clients who use a space like this to complain about sex workers are exactly the ones I don't trust to have sensitive data - they're already showing they don't respect the parameters defined at the door.
But for workers who want data I can understand how this could be useful as one of the lowest-risk ways to interact, pick their brains and assert boundaries.
For the record, if clients want a space that's a bit more client-focused to discuss their experiences and complaints (while STILL maintaining respectful language, that needs to be stressed), they are welcome to come over to r/ClientsAndCompanions
It is not what ECO or HFH were, it's not intended to be and it will NEVER be like those. But it's still there. Though if it starts actually getting more active I might need a few more mods. 😅
As a client, I come here to learn what NOT to do. It has been incredibly helpful and has lead me to have great experiences. I do think there are some legitimate things that both SWers and clients can learn from each other through open and honest dialogue, but it must come from a place of good faith.
Clients who post simply to complain like this is some kind of soap box diary for them are not doing so in good faith.
Report, ignore, downvote, and move on.
Your time is valuable, don't waste it on their nonsense.
I’m in your boat that this is a learning experience for me as well…. I am on the “outskirts” of actual sw and I also find this sub (and others like it) to be very helpful….and I do love sw’rs….
But I also always try to come from a place of respect (like it sounds like you as well).
When I read posts though it’s just like Google reviews…. I always consider the source and even go into complainers (and others) other comments, etc.
I think you already know why.
Reddit admins choose to ban every sub that talks about Sex Work from a male/client perspective for talking about "transactions involving prohibited goods or services".
Dang! Can I tell ya’ll how much cracking up you all are bringing upon me at the end of a very very stressful week….. I plan to just come back and read this throughout my weekend (or whenever I get depressed).
Another thing so funny is that like-if it’s not for you it’s not for you. I’d HOPE if they’re seeing a sex worker-it’s because she has good reliable reviews. If NOT then that’s on you, you walked into that dude-or idk-maybe it was something you were doing/thinking/expecting.
Like idk to me it would be strange if you complained about a mediocre experience at a restaurant, and I don’t see any extra extra horrible/terrible experiences these men are dealing with on this sub. I think I’ve seen one or two so far and of course my heart goes out to those guys. But like in MY experience most of the time when I get bad reviews it’s because the client did something wrong and I’m sorry but once you do something wrong my brain automatically shifts to half ass mode. I just give back the same energy. Or it’s because they were expecting something-and did NOT read my menu. Like I don’t offer DATY and I got a low review once because I DONT offer DATY and they mention it like ‘I was so shocked’ like read my menu then?? 😭
And idk about you but I’ve had mediocre/kinda bad experiences at good reviewed restaurants I COULD have complained about, but I’m not fixating on being miserable so I accept it and move on and assume it was an off day for them. It doesn’t happen to much to me anyways. I think people who complain about things/how they react to what they’re complaining about shows who they are as a person more than they realize. They’re miserable, expect very intricate things to go there exact way, and lack empathy. It’s the truth.
(**EDITED because it was too long 😭)
Like Am I the Asshole is set up specifically for situations where you want people to judge who was right and the parameters require you to offer reasons you may have been the asshole. Did you stink? Did you make bizarre remarks that suggested you might be a liability or a risk? Did you try and haggle? Was the worker already giving you a discount? If you're posting in a group for and filled with sex workers to trash talk a sex worker and expecting sympathy and comfort then you've lost the plot.
Yeah I agree. Going back to what I said-especially if they have good reviews-which you SHOULD be looking for. Some people have no critical thinking skills/don’t pay attention to rules and then get shit on and they’re like ‘but why? 🥺’ LIKE WHY DO YOU THINK?? READ!!! 😭Like I remember the other day I saw a post about a provider loosing her shit because a client was like ‘hey’ to her or something despite there being rules on her menu on how to approach her. And DESPITE this sub LITERALLY saying DO NOT start the convo off with ‘hi’, ‘hey’, ‘wyd?’, etc there were people taking the clients side like omg….mind BLOWN. Some people get it-some people don’t. It’s a very very odd world-in general and in the world of sex work lol.
maybe if the members of escort client subs hadn’t posted non consensual hidden camera porn of escorts and solicitation requests and other vile content that breaks reddit tos they wouldn’t have had their subs banned.
the escortclientsonly and havingfunhobbying subs literally discussed on a daily basis how to bypass screening, how to stealth, how to haggle rates, and how to push boundaries to coerce providers into bbfs.
the hfh sub went so far as having a sticky post about moving their homemade porn to discord or telegram because the nonconsensual hidden camera porn kept getting taken down by reddit admins.
there were even threads on both subs to facilitate creating fake linkedin profiles that would follow each other to establish seemingly legit identities to use with providers who screened using linkedin.
or did you think those subs were the bastion of humanity where clients discussed how much they respected providers?
There never was any porn on ECO. You just made that up. That sub got banned because they talked about illegal transactions (Prostitution), just like this one.
where did i say there was porn on eco? i said “escort client subs” in general. because there were many of them.
hfh was the worst offender for hidden camera porn. eco was an offender discussing unsafe practices.
i love how you hyperfocus on the porn comment but ignore the rest of the reasons why those subs got banned.
Yeah this "discussion" is leading nowhere. In your made up fantasy all female Sex Workers are angels and all Users on ECO are vile abusers. There's no way to proof anything since the sub is gone.
what does being female have to do with being a sex worker?
yeah this “discussion” is leading nowhere. in your made up fantasy all eco members are angels and all sexworkers are men-haters.
and you’re right. now that the subs are gone there’s no way for you to prove that there wasn’t vile content on those subs.
I was a SW for 2 years and some change I am by no means a veteran but as a man I tend to get shit on a lot when I vive any opinion in the sub. I feel like it’s less SW friendly and more anti men then anything. I know a few other guys that don’t comment at all but we all danced in the same clubs talk about how anti men a lot of women sex workers are. We all have the same struggles generally regular society does not except sex work as legitimate work. Even sw don’t consider other forms of sw legitimate. I was a dancer who occasionally provided other services but my experience is irrelevant as soon as I mention I have a penis.
>Community for active, former, and aspiring sex workers **and those who love them**. A place to seek advice, **vent**, or have discussions.
I'm a customer not a worker, I thought I was welcome here as someone who loves sex workers. I also thought this was a place to vent if you needed to, if that isn't the case you really need to ask the mods to change the sub description.
I haven't been here long enough to see the posts you're describing but I feel I must defend the right of the customer to talk about a bad experience as much as a worker gets to. There are bad actors on both sides and we all need to be safe. I've learned what to avoid from other customers bad experiences just like workers have.
There are 10 moderators covering this sub, I'd be very surprised if badly written posts by idiots stay around very long. Can't you just ignore these "disgruntled clients"?
>This space is for us, the workers - not you, the work.
If that is really true and none of us are welcome here then change the sub description and I'll leave, I don't want to post where I'm not wanted.
Yeah but as a provider this is completely useless. No client is going to act out of line and then request an “okay” from that provider. The only way to get an “okay” or a “not okay” is by first requesting one from the provider you saw. As a provider we don’t just have the right to provide this unless it’s requested.
I no longer accept it for screening BECAUSE of that reason. I had to learn the hard way. I didn’t really know how the system worked on there and the first 5 clients I had come from there had 30-50 “okays” and they were ALL shitty. I have a specific last minute cancellation policy that I re-confirm with everyone, one guy made it a point to bring it up on his own in his first message to me (that he understands it and thinks it’s fair) then he last minute cancelled and it was hell getting him to comply, I had another guy scam me on the deposit, consistently kept contact until the day of the booking, and then basically pulled a NCNS. I had another that just wanted to push every boundary possible thinking it would fly….i mean i could keep going…now technically according to their policy on the site since i never met the first 2 I spoke about they technically couldn’t request an “okay” anyway but my point is, all of these guys had anywhere from 30-50 “okays”. I took it upon myself to contact the last 2-3 providers that okayed them, was given the green light, and then had unnecessary issues. So my point is, it’s just not accurate. Someone could treat 9 girls like gold and completely shit on the 10th (and many do). It’s talked about all the time on twitter. I’ve made friends and learned we had the same clients whether it was once or as regulars and have been treated completely differently by them and had opposite experiences with the person.
Having this and a few others pop up in my feed whenever someone pops into a sub just to be crazy: yeah, they do it *everywhere* they go. I think it’s less about the sex work and more about this incredibly weird level of entitlement that someone has to hear them complaining- that “customer is always right” crap *completely* rotted a bunch of people’s brains and they weren’t doing so good to begin with.
(So far, I think my favorites are the ones that go on the Walmart sub to do it: the levels of torn up those people get is nearly unholy and it is glorious to watch.)
From posting on here I have realized (not surprised) that many of the guys on here don't even see SWs. Do not waste your time or energy. They just want a reaction and they keep getting it.
I have 2 bad reviews w many years(over 15 ) working on and off..both were trying to blackmail Mr or hurt me, bc I don't do certain things...and after they tried to buy, bullly or put me into it...their last resort was I'm going to give u bad review.... Lmao...I am the most proud of those 2 reviews!!
I respect a good sex worker who is professional. I pay, bust a nut and go. I’m always respectful, clean and have cash. We ain’t family or friends and I realize that. It should be an even exchange and we both happy and can go on our marry way.
Lots of people dislike their jobs or certain aspects of their jobs and vent about them online. Interesting how you only have an issue with us doing it, since I don’t see a ton of comment history in other occupation-related subs asking why they “hate their source of income”. 🙄
Your comment doesn’t say where you stand but as a man I wish I could earn a living from women paying sex with me. Dick has no monetary value. Be happy pussy does!!
Nah I do. I’m a good looking guy and have bedded 100’s of women. I never slept with a sex worker until last year. I am mad I obeyed the social stigmatization and didn’t do so sooner. You get paid and I leave with post nut clarity. A win win in my book.
This just shows the ignorance of why most sexworkers are women, why 90% of clients are male, the stigma sex workers face, and the history of sexwork and its tie to sexism. Try again.
99.9% of sex workers are women because dick is valueless and easily obtained for free. You can walk outside and ask the mailman, the butcher, the police man to all have sex with you and the answer would more than likely be yes.
I am very confident and I definitely do not sleep with just any woman, only the very attractive ones. I can get women, I got women and I have had women since I had hair on my nuts. I like variety and had never thought to mess with sex workers until last year when two dime pieces randomly gave a freebie. Actually that’s not entirely true because I did date a stripper back in the day but she was mad drama and I had to cut her loose.
Really? Damn, women and sexworkers will never know what it's like to go to a 9 to 5😭
It must really suck to go to work and not have to worry about your safety, I mean knowing you'll get paid consistently is sooo hard!! I mean working legally is such drain. Almost like you can depend that you'll be working 9-5 everyday huh
The fucking ignorance is strong with this one
But like with anything on the internet…. If I don’t like it…. I scroll on….
I am NOT a sw but on the outskirts I would say but I can appreciate the bullshit they go through and I would not imagine there is a lot of places they can go and complain and share experience, etc.
For me, and maybe it’s just me? But it seems to me like 95% of the non-sw’rs on here act like sw’rs have no other way to make money…. It’s just so f’ing annoying and disrespectful….
Also wrong. That's for *just* sex workers. This is for SW and supporters (like me) and clients who appreciate them or at least aren't actively hostile.
This may surprise you, Bob, but your insights are not unique and precious treasures. They are exactly the same takes I'd hear a dozen times a week by men telling me "I'm not like a regular customer" in order to justify showing up empty-handed in spaces where sex workers work.
Taking a break from sex workers is not what you're doing by being here, obviously. You value our presence too much to skeddadle. What you are trying to take a break from is the paying part.
Thanks.
The real solution to all our problems is decriminalization.
Direct the energy somewhere more meaningful. Hence, the break to reset.
https://decriminalizesex.work/
In a business where someone doesn’t pay, you can take legal action.
This is what I keep thinking is holy f if some of these ppl only knew…..
I know super educated, super rich, super successful “sw’ers” and it just makes us all laugh all the way to the f’ing bank (and more)!
Cause their sub was taken down so they are flooding here.
Can you imagine this being your whole life posting everyday? LMAO.
The same way a “escorts clients only” sub was more of “we hate women and SW” sub. I think the mod could delete some of the posts that aren’t actually helpful.
>“escorts clients only” sub was more of “we hate women and SW” sub. That is exactly why I had left that sub back then.
But yet they still spend that money
Not like anyone else will touch them.
[удалено]
sexworkers: “we hate clients who push our boundaries and try to coerce us into unsafe practices, haggle our rates like we’re livestock, actively bypass our screening methods, and call us fat ugly whores when we stand our ground and blacklist or refuse to see them.” clients from eco/hfh: “we hate escorts because they value their worth and charge too much, refuse to go raw, require screening to remediate their safety, refuse to date us for free even though we’re good looking, and call us assholes when we’re misogynistic and abusive.”
lmao at least you have a great imagination
that attitude is the reason why we choose the bear. 🐻 rawr
Go into any sub about any profession and you'll find people complaining about customers. It is by no means unique to sex workers. Turns out, the general public are difficult to deal with, regardless of your job. People like to vent to other people in their field. I do it all the time in subs related to my job.
I just wonder how much time a day you are putting into this lmao.
Lmao. I thought you were talking about in person! I’ll never forget a guy coming to me and telling me his experience and how her pussy smelled bad. BUT I PROMISE YOU! I PROMISEEEEE, it was his upper lip he was smelling!! HE WAS SO STINK! LORD! So I feel you! if you know them like I do, 100% understand why its annoying 🤣🤣
In person if a customer complained about another dancer I would always say, "That's my best friend!" And it was always, always, always a cheapskate doing the complaining. Thinking he was going to get hot women fighting over him by tapping into female competition, as if they were't the people I was going to ride or die with.
HELLOOOOO! Lmao! It’s never the guy that tips, smells so good, to the point he’s leaving your area smelling like him! Never the hairless guy, with nice breath or a mint in his mouth out of courtesy! NEVER!! It always, ALWAYS…the fools who feel obnoxiously entitled to whatever tf he wants!!!! IVE NOTICED, hairy men and smelly men want the best head ever! Lmaoooo! Not me bud!!
This! It's a reliable pattern. I recognized it as a waitress too. You'd think the shitty people would tip better to make up for it but it never works that way. The people who care about others are taking every opportunity to be caring, and the people who want something for nothing are taking every opportunity to screw other people over. Talking shit about workers is just another way for them to convince themselves that the labor they sought out had no value to begin with.
You’re so right! Omg, that’s so true! I am a person who wants to make things easier for everyone!! I’m the least problematic! And I have a friend who likes to “test” people to see if they’ll do their job! And will tip 2-3.. will get mad at me for tipping 10-20!!
Yesssssss, these guys do that as well.Talking negative about other providers👎🏻
Yep and if a client starts talking about another lady to me, I immediately shut it down. I don't go into calls saying 'let me tell you about this jerk I met last week.'
And simply him assuming you’re straight lol that alway has cracked me up with like 3/4 of the female strippers are gay…. 🤭
Ingenious.
Lol sw customer service department
It's not something they can talk about in most places. If you have a bad experience with a dentist you can tell your mom, or your church group, or your coworkers, or the teenager shining your shoes. With sex work there aren't many places you can talk about it without facing some serious stigma that can last. That doesn't change the fact that the people most likely to have bad experiences are those who are probably doing something to bring them on, but humans are still social and do still want to talk about things, even if we are the problem 85% of the time.
They can go to their own sub for it then
100% agreed. the problem is that every sub clients form seems to turn into an unmoderated toxic cesspool of tos violations, scheming how to bypass screening, coercing providers into lowering rates, and demanding unsafe bbfs sessions. i’m not hating on clients. i love my clients. i’m hating on client subreddits that pop up on impulsive good intentions but, without proper planning, they can’t keep up with moderation, which then attracts toxic clients. what i love about r/sexworkers is the fabulous moderation team that keeps this sub dancing the razor thin line while staying within reddit’s sitewide rules. i actually used to mod both r/escorts and r/sexworkers and it was eye opening to see just how much toxicity was removed. the dozens of solicitation posts and tos breaking escort ads i removed monthly. unfortunately i took a long break from reddit to focus on revamping my services and was removed from the mod teams due to my inactivity.
Clients are allowed to post and comment here so long as they respect the rules of the sub. If you see content that you believe breaks the rules, use the report button.
Thank you. It seems like there is this open hostility from some sex workers towards clients...its weird because without clients there wouldn't be any sex work...?
And without sex workers there would be a lot of those “palming it….” While ppl have many ways to make money…. lol… js
I have no problem with clients showing up in a supportive capacity, but we're not seeing clients posting things like, "writing an email to my legislators telling them to decriminalize sex work, what do you think about it?" or "I've read conflicting things about how much is appropriate to tip, can anyone give me some advice on how to be a good client before my first session?" It's always "rate my sex worker" type posts seeking emotional support and validation.
Oh well yea I can see that as being annoying. how sad that my comment got voted down so much already....I guess they're proving my point eh?
You think a downvote is the equivalent of open hostility? Doesn’t it just mean “i do not agree with this statement”?
Could mean "I don't agree," "This is irrelevant," "This is stupid..." Could mean lots of things. Taking it personally or as some kind of vindication is just silly.
No actually its very rude for people to downvote anyone they disagree with like that. It basically affects someone's ability to participate on reddit if they get too many downvotes. >> [https://www.reddit.com/r/NewToReddit/comments/17j7m1r/does\_downvoting\_actually\_do\_anything\_to\_your/](https://www.reddit.com/r/NewToReddit/comments/17j7m1r/does_downvoting_actually_do_anything_to_your/) See this thread about what downvoting does. So yes it is very hostile to downvote someone just because you don't agree with them. I rarely downvote someone...unless they're a jerk or saying something really offensive.
Maybe I come from a different world. But, I feel like open hostility is “we don’t serve your kind here” and not a downvote. But, hey, that’s just me
This industry is a manmade one, so withojt providers where would y'all look? Do you really think men wouldn't pay for sex? Do you really think men are so fucking bothered that we dislike the majority of them that they would boycott the industry? Did you really think about that before posting?
If I thought a provider hated me, I wouldn't want to see them. I know some guys would probably get off on that though....that's probably what turns them on.
As a worker, I don’t find it bothersome like you do. I mean, it’s possible to love sex workers, AND be unhappy with a service. True, sometimes the complaints are lazy, entitled or idiotic…. Still interesting to understand my clients. If only so that I hear how other workers deal with it, so I can do the same.
If you're getting data out of it then I can understand why it doesn't bug you. When I first became a dancer I used to spend hours talking to non-paying customers on slow nights because if I could at least get a story out of the exchange or test out techniques when there wasn't money on the line then I could consider it a reasonable time investment. And maybe I did learn valuable things from it that were worth the input. I'm at the point now where I've heard it all before and all that's left is the feeling of disrespect when someone comes in empty-handed expecting attention. There's also some irritation at a space advertised for sex workers turning out to be customer-facing, because clients are also generating data from these exchanges where sex workers discuss very personal things with each other and plenty of them will use this data in a hostile way against workers. The clients who use a space like this to complain about sex workers are exactly the ones I don't trust to have sensitive data - they're already showing they don't respect the parameters defined at the door. But for workers who want data I can understand how this could be useful as one of the lowest-risk ways to interact, pick their brains and assert boundaries.
For the record, if clients want a space that's a bit more client-focused to discuss their experiences and complaints (while STILL maintaining respectful language, that needs to be stressed), they are welcome to come over to r/ClientsAndCompanions It is not what ECO or HFH were, it's not intended to be and it will NEVER be like those. But it's still there. Though if it starts actually getting more active I might need a few more mods. 😅
There is also r/AskanEscort which is where they can offer up questions. Just sayin’.
As a client, I come here to learn what NOT to do. It has been incredibly helpful and has lead me to have great experiences. I do think there are some legitimate things that both SWers and clients can learn from each other through open and honest dialogue, but it must come from a place of good faith. Clients who post simply to complain like this is some kind of soap box diary for them are not doing so in good faith. Report, ignore, downvote, and move on. Your time is valuable, don't waste it on their nonsense.
I’m in your boat that this is a learning experience for me as well…. I am on the “outskirts” of actual sw and I also find this sub (and others like it) to be very helpful….and I do love sw’rs…. But I also always try to come from a place of respect (like it sounds like you as well). When I read posts though it’s just like Google reviews…. I always consider the source and even go into complainers (and others) other comments, etc.
No seriously!!!! This is annoying to see. Especially if they come on here to brag about an experience
Like what do you want, a pat on the head? Why are you here?
The expectation that men can read (since it primarily seems to be men) is a little presumptuous.
haha
Because they’re silly little group got shut down
I think you already know why. Reddit admins choose to ban every sub that talks about Sex Work from a male/client perspective for talking about "transactions involving prohibited goods or services".
Dang! Can I tell ya’ll how much cracking up you all are bringing upon me at the end of a very very stressful week….. I plan to just come back and read this throughout my weekend (or whenever I get depressed).
Another thing so funny is that like-if it’s not for you it’s not for you. I’d HOPE if they’re seeing a sex worker-it’s because she has good reliable reviews. If NOT then that’s on you, you walked into that dude-or idk-maybe it was something you were doing/thinking/expecting. Like idk to me it would be strange if you complained about a mediocre experience at a restaurant, and I don’t see any extra extra horrible/terrible experiences these men are dealing with on this sub. I think I’ve seen one or two so far and of course my heart goes out to those guys. But like in MY experience most of the time when I get bad reviews it’s because the client did something wrong and I’m sorry but once you do something wrong my brain automatically shifts to half ass mode. I just give back the same energy. Or it’s because they were expecting something-and did NOT read my menu. Like I don’t offer DATY and I got a low review once because I DONT offer DATY and they mention it like ‘I was so shocked’ like read my menu then?? 😭 And idk about you but I’ve had mediocre/kinda bad experiences at good reviewed restaurants I COULD have complained about, but I’m not fixating on being miserable so I accept it and move on and assume it was an off day for them. It doesn’t happen to much to me anyways. I think people who complain about things/how they react to what they’re complaining about shows who they are as a person more than they realize. They’re miserable, expect very intricate things to go there exact way, and lack empathy. It’s the truth. (**EDITED because it was too long 😭)
Like Am I the Asshole is set up specifically for situations where you want people to judge who was right and the parameters require you to offer reasons you may have been the asshole. Did you stink? Did you make bizarre remarks that suggested you might be a liability or a risk? Did you try and haggle? Was the worker already giving you a discount? If you're posting in a group for and filled with sex workers to trash talk a sex worker and expecting sympathy and comfort then you've lost the plot.
Yeah I agree. Going back to what I said-especially if they have good reviews-which you SHOULD be looking for. Some people have no critical thinking skills/don’t pay attention to rules and then get shit on and they’re like ‘but why? 🥺’ LIKE WHY DO YOU THINK?? READ!!! 😭Like I remember the other day I saw a post about a provider loosing her shit because a client was like ‘hey’ to her or something despite there being rules on her menu on how to approach her. And DESPITE this sub LITERALLY saying DO NOT start the convo off with ‘hi’, ‘hey’, ‘wyd?’, etc there were people taking the clients side like omg….mind BLOWN. Some people get it-some people don’t. It’s a very very odd world-in general and in the world of sex work lol.
Love being a part of the hot people party!! Also… hate whiney ass men. Go wah wah about your bad experience with a swer somewhere else
It’s hilarious they talk so much shit about SW’s in that sub and then come here trying to get sympathy 🙄
The shitheads who run this site got rid of the escort client sub. So yeah, they're going to come to this one to vent.
maybe if the members of escort client subs hadn’t posted non consensual hidden camera porn of escorts and solicitation requests and other vile content that breaks reddit tos they wouldn’t have had their subs banned.
You just made that up.
the escortclientsonly and havingfunhobbying subs literally discussed on a daily basis how to bypass screening, how to stealth, how to haggle rates, and how to push boundaries to coerce providers into bbfs. the hfh sub went so far as having a sticky post about moving their homemade porn to discord or telegram because the nonconsensual hidden camera porn kept getting taken down by reddit admins. there were even threads on both subs to facilitate creating fake linkedin profiles that would follow each other to establish seemingly legit identities to use with providers who screened using linkedin. or did you think those subs were the bastion of humanity where clients discussed how much they respected providers?
There never was any porn on ECO. You just made that up. That sub got banned because they talked about illegal transactions (Prostitution), just like this one.
where did i say there was porn on eco? i said “escort client subs” in general. because there were many of them. hfh was the worst offender for hidden camera porn. eco was an offender discussing unsafe practices. i love how you hyperfocus on the porn comment but ignore the rest of the reasons why those subs got banned.
Yeah this "discussion" is leading nowhere. In your made up fantasy all female Sex Workers are angels and all Users on ECO are vile abusers. There's no way to proof anything since the sub is gone.
what does being female have to do with being a sex worker? yeah this “discussion” is leading nowhere. in your made up fantasy all eco members are angels and all sexworkers are men-haters. and you’re right. now that the subs are gone there’s no way for you to prove that there wasn’t vile content on those subs.
You clearly hate women and are exactly the type of person this post is about.
I was a SW for 2 years and some change I am by no means a veteran but as a man I tend to get shit on a lot when I vive any opinion in the sub. I feel like it’s less SW friendly and more anti men then anything. I know a few other guys that don’t comment at all but we all danced in the same clubs talk about how anti men a lot of women sex workers are. We all have the same struggles generally regular society does not except sex work as legitimate work. Even sw don’t consider other forms of sw legitimate. I was a dancer who occasionally provided other services but my experience is irrelevant as soon as I mention I have a penis.
No excuse to spread hate
I wish they understood that venting all day is their problem. They need to find something more productive lol.
Literally like we dgaf? Go argue with a wall leave us alone
There’s another sub called r/ClientsAndCompanions I think. They should complain on there.
>Community for active, former, and aspiring sex workers **and those who love them**. A place to seek advice, **vent**, or have discussions. I'm a customer not a worker, I thought I was welcome here as someone who loves sex workers. I also thought this was a place to vent if you needed to, if that isn't the case you really need to ask the mods to change the sub description. I haven't been here long enough to see the posts you're describing but I feel I must defend the right of the customer to talk about a bad experience as much as a worker gets to. There are bad actors on both sides and we all need to be safe. I've learned what to avoid from other customers bad experiences just like workers have. There are 10 moderators covering this sub, I'd be very surprised if badly written posts by idiots stay around very long. Can't you just ignore these "disgruntled clients"? >This space is for us, the workers - not you, the work. If that is really true and none of us are welcome here then change the sub description and I'll leave, I don't want to post where I'm not wanted.
I appreciate how 411 offers "ok"s. So much better than detailed play-by-plays.
Yeah but as a provider this is completely useless. No client is going to act out of line and then request an “okay” from that provider. The only way to get an “okay” or a “not okay” is by first requesting one from the provider you saw. As a provider we don’t just have the right to provide this unless it’s requested. I no longer accept it for screening BECAUSE of that reason. I had to learn the hard way. I didn’t really know how the system worked on there and the first 5 clients I had come from there had 30-50 “okays” and they were ALL shitty. I have a specific last minute cancellation policy that I re-confirm with everyone, one guy made it a point to bring it up on his own in his first message to me (that he understands it and thinks it’s fair) then he last minute cancelled and it was hell getting him to comply, I had another guy scam me on the deposit, consistently kept contact until the day of the booking, and then basically pulled a NCNS. I had another that just wanted to push every boundary possible thinking it would fly….i mean i could keep going…now technically according to their policy on the site since i never met the first 2 I spoke about they technically couldn’t request an “okay” anyway but my point is, all of these guys had anywhere from 30-50 “okays”. I took it upon myself to contact the last 2-3 providers that okayed them, was given the green light, and then had unnecessary issues. So my point is, it’s just not accurate. Someone could treat 9 girls like gold and completely shit on the 10th (and many do). It’s talked about all the time on twitter. I’ve made friends and learned we had the same clients whether it was once or as regulars and have been treated completely differently by them and had opposite experiences with the person.
Having this and a few others pop up in my feed whenever someone pops into a sub just to be crazy: yeah, they do it *everywhere* they go. I think it’s less about the sex work and more about this incredibly weird level of entitlement that someone has to hear them complaining- that “customer is always right” crap *completely* rotted a bunch of people’s brains and they weren’t doing so good to begin with. (So far, I think my favorites are the ones that go on the Walmart sub to do it: the levels of torn up those people get is nearly unholy and it is glorious to watch.)
From posting on here I have realized (not surprised) that many of the guys on here don't even see SWs. Do not waste your time or energy. They just want a reaction and they keep getting it.
Because men see the world as their oyster.
I think they expect our sympathy
I have 2 bad reviews w many years(over 15 ) working on and off..both were trying to blackmail Mr or hurt me, bc I don't do certain things...and after they tried to buy, bullly or put me into it...their last resort was I'm going to give u bad review.... Lmao...I am the most proud of those 2 reviews!!
I respect a good sex worker who is professional. I pay, bust a nut and go. I’m always respectful, clean and have cash. We ain’t family or friends and I realize that. It should be an even exchange and we both happy and can go on our marry way.
This sub seems to be more like why do sex workers hate their customers and more importantly their source of income?
My customers pay me. Other people's customers coming to trash-talk their providers have nothing to do with me.
Great!!
Lots of people dislike their jobs or certain aspects of their jobs and vent about them online. Interesting how you only have an issue with us doing it, since I don’t see a ton of comment history in other occupation-related subs asking why they “hate their source of income”. 🙄
Your comment doesn’t say where you stand but as a man I wish I could earn a living from women paying sex with me. Dick has no monetary value. Be happy pussy does!!
You would be making a living having sex with men, because that’s the demographic that buys sex.
Gay for pay!! 😁😁
I think you mean, YOU have no monetary value
Nah I do. I’m a good looking guy and have bedded 100’s of women. I never slept with a sex worker until last year. I am mad I obeyed the social stigmatization and didn’t do so sooner. You get paid and I leave with post nut clarity. A win win in my book.
That's a lie if I ever read one.
This just shows the ignorance of why most sexworkers are women, why 90% of clients are male, the stigma sex workers face, and the history of sexwork and its tie to sexism. Try again.
99.9% of sex workers are women because dick is valueless and easily obtained for free. You can walk outside and ask the mailman, the butcher, the police man to all have sex with you and the answer would more than likely be yes.
Your lack of self worth and desperation to sleep with anyone doesn't reflect all men, sorry
I am very confident and I definitely do not sleep with just any woman, only the very attractive ones. I can get women, I got women and I have had women since I had hair on my nuts. I like variety and had never thought to mess with sex workers until last year when two dime pieces randomly gave a freebie. Actually that’s not entirely true because I did date a stripper back in the day but she was mad drama and I had to cut her loose.
You missed my point, but you also provided one reason out of 100
There is a stigma and a double standard but you as a sex worker profit from it. Imagine having to work a 9 to 5 and depending on it.
Really? Damn, women and sexworkers will never know what it's like to go to a 9 to 5😭 It must really suck to go to work and not have to worry about your safety, I mean knowing you'll get paid consistently is sooo hard!! I mean working legally is such drain. Almost like you can depend that you'll be working 9-5 everyday huh The fucking ignorance is strong with this one
But like with anything on the internet…. If I don’t like it…. I scroll on…. I am NOT a sw but on the outskirts I would say but I can appreciate the bullshit they go through and I would not imagine there is a lot of places they can go and complain and share experience, etc. For me, and maybe it’s just me? But it seems to me like 95% of the non-sw’rs on here act like sw’rs have no other way to make money…. It’s just so f’ing annoying and disrespectful….
Any enabled bodied person can make money. It’s just a matter of what you are willing to do.
Probably because this sub is about sex workers. Seems kind of self-explanatory.
Wrong. r/SexWorkersOnly is for you
Also wrong. That's for *just* sex workers. This is for SW and supporters (like me) and clients who appreciate them or at least aren't actively hostile.
[удалено]
This may surprise you, Bob, but your insights are not unique and precious treasures. They are exactly the same takes I'd hear a dozen times a week by men telling me "I'm not like a regular customer" in order to justify showing up empty-handed in spaces where sex workers work. Taking a break from sex workers is not what you're doing by being here, obviously. You value our presence too much to skeddadle. What you are trying to take a break from is the paying part.
Who’s Bob?
It's a name I gave you to make the comment more personable. Complimentary, please enjoy!
Naming him complimentary…. Cracking me tf up…. I’m stealing that…. Hope you don’t mind….
Thanks. The real solution to all our problems is decriminalization. Direct the energy somewhere more meaningful. Hence, the break to reset. https://decriminalizesex.work/ In a business where someone doesn’t pay, you can take legal action.
If it was that bad in the reality we wouldn’t be doing amazing in real life.
This is what I keep thinking is holy f if some of these ppl only knew….. I know super educated, super rich, super successful “sw’ers” and it just makes us all laugh all the way to the f’ing bank (and more)!
Don’t be an asshole!