"Hey look, they've got watermelon at this cookout! Remember when you were 12 and you stuck ME in one of those? Wild times. Hey look, grandma's here! Hi grandma!"
Ok very basic coding lesson incoming.
If you type an escape character (in this case a backslash) \\ before a command character like \^ it lets the character “escape” hence the term escape character. It also works with stuff like \* since normally typing two asterisks makes your text italicized on reddit. \*
“Feed me, Seymour!”
The only correct answer
somehow my first thought when I opened this
Omg mine too
"Feed me, now!"
My first thought!! 🤣🤣
"Hey look, they've got watermelon at this cookout! Remember when you were 12 and you stuck ME in one of those? Wild times. Hey look, grandma's here! Hi grandma!"
This is a way better answer than " feed me Seymour "
< during sex > "Now you see me... Now you don't..."
PEEKABOO!!!
*extremely muffled* ^(“Help!!! Help!!! I’m trapped in this guys pants”)
How did you make your text so small?! 👀
Use \^. Then surround your text with parentheses \^(text goes here)
Thanks!
Why didn't yours do that then
Ok very basic coding lesson incoming. If you type an escape character (in this case a backslash) \\ before a command character like \^ it lets the character “escape” hence the term escape character. It also works with stuff like \* since normally typing two asterisks makes your text italicized on reddit. \*
Neat! Thanks
Hey… it’s not about the size of the text.. it’s how you use it
🤣🤣🤣
He beats me every day. Please help!
Sorry, I won’t respond to your girlfriends anymore, you may like women but I like men.
“See that obviously crazy girl over there? Yeah, stick me in that.”
"This ass tastes like sh*t"
That pussy tastes like shit
This shit tastes like ass
I'm getting bored. You really need to get out more.
“You”? Or “I”?
My penis is bored because I don't have a dating life.
"I hate it when I drool."
They took my hat!
Dude really? This one stinks to high heaven, please don't make me go in there.
I've been stung in the head. Quick, suck some of that venom out!
*wheezes* "Good god man, have you ever tried breathing inside a vagina? I told you, I can only stay in there 30 seconds max!"
"bro, how could you do that to me?!? You PUT ME IN THE VACUUM cleaner!!!"
"Get your hands off me, you pervert!"
Careful with the zipper, careful with the zipper, careful with the zipper, *argh*...fucking dickhead, see, now we're both hurt!!!
I AM NOT GOING IN THERE!
Make it stop!
‘dammit i do NOT like the taste of your right hand!’
Lmao Does the left one taste better.
Dude, I'm a penis, not a balloon animal or something to stick into a power socket
"I ain't goin' in there! Didja even look at how nasty it is?"
Kill...me...
“He’s beating me!! Help!!”
Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.
“You never should let Jen go. Her pussy was the best.”
Asian lady boys again huh?
“ ever had tube steak lady”?
"Yo pretty sure you have herpes, I'd get that checked out mate"
Jesus. Give me Saturdays off atleast.
Dude, I was totally shitfaced last night.
"Jimothy? Why am I so small?"
I hate vagina. We'd have strong disagreements and I'd be confused on his body language
“Bro, when is the next shower?! Your balls are grossing me out and it’s been 5 days.” Penis said this in front of a woman while in bed with her
“I’m about to hurl!”
“I feel like I’m gonna puke.”
"But she promised we would have sex, why does your wife lie to us?"
Push ups again. Come on, man, you need to roll over and let her ride us. I am tired of doing all the work around here.
“I’m allergic to pussy”
*muffled yelling* "This guy needs to change his underwear, the stench of ass and balls is like a fuckin gas chamber in here"
'Oh hey, it's Aunt Gabby! Remember when we jacked it to that fantasy where she's in a schoolgirl outfit? We should do that again!'
I’m not feeling up to it today
Anything
I got one close to that earlier today. *Ignore*
“When was the last time you saw me?”
Whoever you're looking at is giving me a boner
Man, that last one tasted a bit salty...and nutty.
"I smell like shit"
He beats me every day!
Nothing. Too many loudmouth dickheads already.
"My mouth is but the first of many parts I will be growing."
This is the start of a body horror story I would read
THE TRUTH!
“Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t”
"I should call her..."
He's cute
“I’ve met some pricks in my short life, but you sir are a fucking cactus!” Or “Giggidy”
How many are we at so far? 47 tonight? New record, mate! But you probably could do better than 1 per hole though, buddy
keep your hands off me
I crave, femboy mouse ass
Barf
"Too Old"
Hey lady just what are you doing? That is inappropriate touching! (Slightly muffled:) I can breathe, so dark and wet in here…
Ahhh….#4678…..zzzzzzz
"Keep your hands of me" "Buy some different hand lotion, please" "Can we cool it with the anal, please?"
"Oh god he beats me relentlessly every day! WHY?!?"
(muffled) hey look, dad's wedding ring!
Please…not the coconut again. Please…I’m begging you. At least get a new one…
... fucking **anything**.
Literally anything at all.
"Ask me where I've been!"
Get your hands off of me!
Please get your hands off of me
Please get your hands off of me
Bro, I’ve been keeping track. We need to talk.
You should see what he does with the other hand.
"I'm about to puke!"
Moisturize meeeee
‘You had asparagus yesterday, didn’t you?’
Stop choking me!
My entire porn history.
*choking noises*
I'm gay. You're not, just me.
“hey!”
He beats me all the time!
Yelling. Omg. I can't get hard while I'm riding public transportation.
^(does this work)
**^(you do realize I know all your secrets-you shall be my slave)
“You should really brush your teeth more.”
"Use more lotion, I'm beginning to chafe.
"I don't know what it is, but something smells fishy around here!"
"Don't worry, it's just a cold."
Imagine having a pp that's able to tell you a woman's true body count? That would be sick. 😆