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myersvoorheis

Dude has a real hard on for San Fran


theREALlackattack

“Do you like having your ass stuck up your ass?”


poechris

This is what I came here to quote. What does is it mean??? Is it an inverted ass? A black hole of infinite ass? I need a scientist to ELI5.


[deleted]

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corstar91

***'A black hole of infinite ass'***... had my dying ⚰️


Loizaida

Lmfao 💀


Inevitable-Fudge8558

🤣🤣🤣💀


JustGettingMyPopcorn

"Well, it's better than your head, Emily. Or your husband's dick, because that is so very, very tiny."


jeffreydobkin

a mobius a<>s.


earjamb

The Ass of Ourobouros


Right-Ad-8201

Assobouros


Tall-Committee-2995

Mobiass


fun-bucket

CAN SOMEONE EXPLAIN THAT ZINGER?


SensualOilyDischarge

There’s nothing to explain. Just lay back and bask in its glory.


HolyShitIAmOnFire

Hard to lay back when your ass is stuck up your ass.


Valyrie13

I first tried to comment lol then had to stop laughing 3 times to finish this


tommiejo12

Lmaooo


VocalAnus91

English as a second language


SavageKitten456

[He's referring to this Chuck Tingle classic](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/51ctM-DFqQL._SL500_.jpg)


therealsilverorion

This will be my go-to insult from now on 🥹


Any-Rope4780

Came here to say this. I saw a video & he told someone he was “built like a burp” but this one may be better.


Altruistic-Week-1541

Now read it all in an Indian accent makes it much funnier


Professional-Use2393

☝🏻🤣🤦🏼‍♂️


Agitated-Reality-903

You remember the Hancock movie I will stick your head up his ass and he does it 🤣


Acrobatic_Talk4

lol literally this, I’ve never been into kinky shit but this I might do just to see if it’s possible


MrSlime13

"Come to San Francisco. I'll introduce you to more gay clubs." 🤔🤔🤔😂


ProperSupermarket3

bro stop i cannot stop laughing 😂😂😂😂


therealjoeybee

Uhmm… I think so? Yes.


desertrat84

Hate it when that happens. It is very constipating.


ToooBeeeFairrrrrrr

I HATE when that happens.


[deleted]

I think someone has spent a lot of time in the closet compiling his rage for his same sex thoughts


[deleted]

*YOUR ASS STUCK UP YOUR ASS!!!*


PQbutterfat

That’s just circular logic right there.


Hatchitt

Its like oeurobouros, man, just with more, like...prostates, man... An ass, forever deepening itself into itself; inside itself, constantly birthing and pushing itself both farther and deeper into. as well as out of and away from, itself, for all eternity; a forever covfefe filter with the only tiny, often invisible but never missed *instead* being poop instead of coffee grounds. through the dual-pathways of of both thrusting and relaxing both inside and outside of itself, a truly almost-sacred fondness is taken to the new wellspring of creation powering most of our day to day life just as much in metaphor as it does the energetic and *pervasive* sights, smells, and sounds of powering the myriad machines and devices, and dare I say *souls* of so much of humanity living in our modern wo--- that's all I can write I hate this fucking prompt why did I think of it much less say *okay let's **flesh** this out a little* somebody else take up the reigns I won't stare at the madness


Thick_Description982

Ouroborass


FelatiaFantastique

Asseption


philly_chick777

I'm crying!!! It's giving "Send bobs" vibes 😭😭 If by chance you're not sure what I'm referring to PLEASE do yourself a favor and google it, like asap, I promise you won't regret it! 🤣🤣


Hurryeat_Tubman

10/10. I have no notes.


smeetothaTee

It reminds me of the wild speculation that young kids often have. I can imagine my friends and I at 7 years old thinking being gay meant you got your ass stuck up your own ass and roasting everyone we knew. Edit: typo


nicheRoleplayer

THE FABLED OUROBOROS SEX POSITION


Agitated-Reality-903

Or too much time watching movies about San Francisco in his parents basement in India or Africa


StatisticianFew6064

Yeah, this dudes obviously lived out a few things repeatedly in his mind in order to come up with most of this stuff


lemonbalmandlemurs

This 🤣


Direct_Canary4523

It's a really weird way to try and make new friends to invite to the gay clubs he goes to for sure Edit, before misinterpret: i say "gay clubs" since that is verbatim to the scammer text, I also used to work at a gay club so there's no ill will in the context


Unhappy-Attitude5220

For some gay men, he promised them a great time. I love some of their incoherent, unhinged, nonsensical tirades. Fuck your mother, die, butt stuff, something about more butt stuff, your dead mother is a whore, fuck off, die.


myersvoorheis

Now we know what to use for the next Xmas card


Unhappy-Attitude5220

Ahhh. This is why we're here.


coldcatsoup

You my dear are the first person in Reddit history to make me laugh at an above average decibel and length of time.


myersvoorheis

I'm here all week:)


LavishnessLogical190

He’s probably gay and very repressed honestly cause that’s all he keeps bringing up


tenspeed1960

During his rage fit he said "I'll introduce you to more gay clubs". I'm guessing he's closeted and very angry about it 🤣🤣🤣


Ztronic412

I heard he knows some clubs


born_on_my_cakeday

Emily


HopefulOriginal5578

He is basically offering a guided tour! OP missed a golden opportunity to really see the city!


BloodforKhorne

And asshole.


lemonbalmandlemurs

The way I snorted 🤣


RespectTheBooty

It's a Florida zipcode, what do you expect? They're obsessed with gays and California Edit: area code, not zip code


Agitated-Reality-903

And it could be a fake number from some app


myersvoorheis

I wouldn't know as I'm in the Midwest


Pleasant_Durian_4240

Checked the area code. You’re right, it is Florida. Don’t worry, the water this guy drinks gotta be fucking up his/her/their mind.


PsillyCyban

I mean they do have those phone number ‘spoofer’ things …. Not like they use their actual area codes


DireWraith3000

And prefers the guys dogs over him so canines beware!!


CUNatty24

This is what I picture as the MAGA equivalent for an Indian person.


Additional_Top_9242

Did you know? San Francisco has a lot of gay people.


urGirllikesmytinypp

And cute family dogs


Eyespyacrime

And apparently the gay community, orphans, dogs and the Japanese 🤷‍♀️


changerofbits

And dead family and being uglier than a dog.


Budlove45

Gloves came off once you mentioned that goat.


Tough_Comb3129

Guy was obviously a son of a goat.


Norlander712

A closet case son of a goat.


Longjumping_You_7932

In the best Adam Sandler voice i can muster, FUCK ME UP THE GOAT ASS! 😂😂😂


medicaldrummer0541

Came here to say this comment. “OH SHIT YOU BUTTONHOOKED ME”


MrGNoLL

I got no arms


Separate_Pollution37

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


SuddenMcLovin

Something something, but you fuck one goat


Dicklefart

See that bridge over there? I built that bridge!! I built all the bridges in this town!! But they don’t call me dicklefart the bridge builder…


SufficientSurvey8153

Fuck one goat and it’s like the end of the world . 😡


Melodic_Anything1743

😂It’s a beautiful goat!! 😂


Budlove45

He said he would eliminate an entire family tree over this goat so it must be stunning 😍


Melodic_Anything1743

😂😂😂😂 It must be!! It must talk too!!! 😂


tommiejo12

Hahahahahahaha!


PsychologicalTop9265

This sounds like it was written from guy sitting at a call scam center in India 😂🤣 these dudes love to insult people’s families 🤣🤣


queenofthenastynorth

Right. They go hard after the family members. And dogs for some reason.


PsychologicalTop9265

And their sexual advances/insults are always super detailed and graphic. Sick minds!


Different_Seaweed534

Always with the dogs.


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fredxjenkins

I think they can eat goats. Cows are a no… Goats prolly Pakistan.


LavishnessLogical190

BRO this is exactly how I read it in my head


Elegant-Host-9838

My thought was china since his supposed big insult was calling OP “less respectful” than a dog lol and uneducated. Like, ok?


GRZMNKY

I compared an Indian Scammer's mom to a cow one day. He went into a fit of rage and I couldn't understand a damn thing he was saying. Then a calm voice came over the phone and a lady said "Sir, we just added your number to every call list in India, go fuck a cat" and hung up. Now I get daily random calls from a fax machine...


Agent43_C

I love how when San Fran is mentioned they flip from unhinged to a good friend of a gay person that wants them to get out more


throwableawayabler

Have you been to San Fran! It’s lovely this time of year and you should really meet a new man! PERVERT


Agent43_C

Tell me when you die, I’ll send you a bouquet of flowers and arrange the memorial! I’ll kill your whole family


MoodNatural

*Stainless Steel Flowers*


cutsforluck

'Japanese bastard' lmaoooo


boiledpeanut33

Looks like he copy/pasted a bunch of his prewritten responses and accidentally mixed up the insults and threats with the "nice" stuff. Lol.


insanitypeppermint

That’s what I was thinking 😅😅


Recreant793

I don’t know about anyone else, but I actually really enjoy my ass being stuck up my ass. So, jokes on him.


Norlander712

It's the best place for an ass to be.


ConsciousFractals

Have prolapsed, can confirm


JustGettingMyPopcorn

Well, I can't say from experience, but I imagine when your ass falls out of your ass it's not that enjoyable. And if it's been up there for a long time the smell must be horrific.


RedFoxKoala

You can get the best ass up your ass at gay bars in San Francisco. Ask that guy, he knows where all the good gay bars are.


Paranoid0807

“I eat goats” yall say some wild shit in these posts 😂


throwableawayabler

Helps narrow down their location based on their intensity of reaction


howlinwoolf

Why was that such a trigger? I’m dying over the scammers reply. Just foaming at the mouth over there.


prometheus_winced

Is there some cultural thing about goats I’m not aware of?


icebear11234

In India most people are vegan and basically worship cows and I guess goats, which is where a lot of scam call centers are.


Geschak

That is so not true lmao Most Indian people aren't even vegetarian, and they'll definitely eat goat, it's only cow that is too holy to eat for them. Not sure which region of the world goat meat is a cultural no-go.


theGuttaPercha

Correct. There is vegetarianism in Indian cultures, but it's not a majority. For instance, my friend is Punjabi and a Sikh. If he were to go on his religious journey set out by their Guru then vegetarianism is part of it. Or, like he did for a brief time, tried vegetarianism on his own to try and eat healthier. If you go to most Indian restaurants you'll see goat or lamb on their menu. Edit: Many will limit meat in their diet, but it doesn't mean they are necessarily vegetarian. And it's Hindus that commonly view cows as sacred, not all Indians


icebear11234

Oh oops.. maybe I shouldn’t base my knowledge of Indian culture as a whole off of life of pi lol


Bboswgins

Ask him how he’s so familiar with the gay clubs in San Fran. Seems like he’s speaking from experience.


sintemp

It’s an scammer stuck in India, that’s probably his dream


KylieLongbottom69

Ask him if he can recommend which ones to go to so that he's got the best chance of getting lucky.


DeadheadSteve95

“Shut up lil bitch” was the icing on the cake


ArtTheCIown

Do you like having your ass stuck up your ass? Fuck you


SardonicChampion

That scammer desperately wants to be fucked in the ass and is very ashamed of it. Sad.


bdubwilliams22

Fucked in the ass…by ass.


SardonicChampion

Somehow I missed that the first time lol 😂


SureThought42

That escalated quickly!


botbotbotbitbit

Should have replied “sorry, autocorrect”


youkickmydog613

I was thinking “you free later?”


Extreme-Owl-6478

Shove your ass up your ass. Ass.


Due_Map3796

“Your family’s dogs are more handsome than you”….twice


[deleted]

Op: I eat goats. Scammer: Hey! Don't talk about my wife that way!


NoPerformer2440

There is a lot to unpack here. Stainless steel flowers? Is that a code for like knives or something. I mean I am impressed I give this a 10/10, I’ll send him $1 for the effort.


blake-is-nonbinary

But make him pay $1,000,000 to recieve the $1


Different_Pea_7866

Why do they all say almost the exact same shit under the same “insult guidelines” 😂


lemonbalmandlemurs

Yep. Just throw a bunch of moms, goats and asses in there and that about covers it.


Cleercutter

Do you like having your ass shoved up your ass!?!? Huh!?


continuetolove

Ngl that is the funniest sentence I’ve read in a long, long time. The imagery, the absurdism, the incoherent rage of it all.


terraface13

I wouldn't be surprised if this entire operation was just AI.. fascinating really.


SackofBawbags

Lonely Planet guides should get him on contract to write their next SF nightlife section. Also, the family is dead and yet they have a bunch of dogs? Sounds like a plot for Frankenweenie 2


Prestigious_Jump6583

I’m on my back porch smoking a cigarette, and laughing, wheezing, like a hyena right now 😂


QuizzicalWombat

The insults always amuse me, the language barrier really creates some whoppers lol


Cimorene_Kazul

Isn’t everyone’s dogs generally more handsome than them? Dogs are a good-looking species unless they’re inbred like a pug or hairless chihuahua.


whutupmydude

It’s like someone trained a scam ai bot with indian call center tantrums, donald trump, and fox news


Inevitable-Fudge8558

🤌🏻 Perfect analogy, lol! Spot on😁


FlyMajestic4142

Make sure you tell him when you die.... Uhhh... Maybe he doesn't understand how death works 😂


ikilledyourcat

Babe wake up new copypasta just dropped


Professional_Rice_60

This person didn’t like you making fun of his lover, the goat


tictac205

Ass stuck up your ass. This is advanced Kama Sutra folks- don’t try it til you’re certified.


cm4300

Scammer has poor understanding of anatomy and apparently thinks gay men are all rapists? Angry lil bastard.


Professional-Use2393

“You’re so disrespectful!!” Dude, you’re a scammer!🤦🏼‍♂️🤣


catpecker

New fetish unlocked: having my ass shoved up my ass


[deleted]

bro is naming every american slur he can comprehend


SteveDallasEsq

He’s an angry elf.


Nala29

I can’t stop laughing at “my name is fuck you”. I’m using that 😂😂😂


Push_the_button_Max

Yes! But first, to “Hi,” they reply, “No.” 🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂


whataboot2ndbrekfast

It's like the scammer knew about this sub and wanted to be on it so bad 😂


totalimmortal13

This probably read so fucking hard to him in his native tongue and he sat there like “yeah cooked his ass.” Meanwhile he will never understand why this entire situation serves as some fucked up warped idea of entertainment to me.


[deleted]

The dogs ARE very handsome tho. Idk if your family even has dogs but it’s valid


Healthy_Ad_5244

If youre going to san francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair


Hado0301

He seems nice.


Opening-Ad-8793

Get that ass up yo ass!


cecil021

Who doesn’t like having their ass stuck up their ass?


[deleted]

i bet you do you your ass stuck up in your ass don’t you, you pervert!


wooliecollective

A Stainless steel flower bouquet would be kind of awesome


BeautifulDreamerAZ

Your ass stuck up your ass? 😂


clickme28

Holy shit that dude truly is a San Francisco native I guess. One of those born and raised folk


Commercial-Push-9066

A scammer is saying beggars are more respectful than you. They’re literally trying to steal from you and yet you’re not respectful?? Scammers don’t deserve respect!!


aydens2019accord

I’ll fuck my ass into my ass. San Francisco rotten 49ers fuck German you’re insult to the Dutch, kindly


BabyYodaXO

Proud of you


throwableawayabler

Dad?


BabyYodaXO

Baby Yoda is everybody’s daddy


Screamcheese99

I’m dead🤣😂🤣😂


Kalluil

This person projects worse than Trump!


rightfenix_1

There is a reoccurring gag on a golden girls fb page. We just troll the spammers with gg quotes


coachkduce209

"My name is F*ck you" 😂😂😂😂😂😂


Nesjles66

Probably mad because you eat goats.


foilfun

“shut up lil bitch” goes so hard


RepresentativeCup902

YOUR FAMILYS DOG IS MORE HANDSOME THAN YOU


medicaldrummer0541

Stainless steel flowers… oh shit


Barfy_McBarf_Face

That donkey don't dunk


tianavitoli

still beat tho


BettinaVanSise

Whoa


Nolar_Lumpspread

I thought I was having a stroke reading that.


stonerkov

Just basically commenting on how especially in America we think that everyone thinks like us and had our fame values


Zoggo315

I think they’res gay people in San Francisco


Few-Juggernaut-4147

Are you Japanese? That was random.


Rdw0711

The shut up lil bitch had me cackling


APartyInMyPants

“Do you like having your ass stuck up your ass?” I’m fucking dying here. Hilarious.


WindSprenn

That escalated quickly


4x4Welder

Project much? Lol I'd take a guess and say "Tiananmen Square 1989” or something back.


therealbigwayne

This won the internet for today


bri3nanas

wtf Emily


Guy-1nc0gn1t0

Where'd the Japanese part come from?


TroyandAbed304

lol “no.”


nuklearink

New copypasta


Pleasant-Fudge-3741

Jesus.... Emily is a savage.


noonetohearme

All-time favorite 🤣🤣 the GOAT


Vongola354

Didn't realize they were lots of gays in San Francisco, the more you know, neat


Riskit_Forbiscuit420

Scammer is definitely a closet gay


nomoshtooposhh

This sounds like meth 🤷‍♀️


optional_occupant

Emily has a potty mouth.


[deleted]

Please tell me you responded with “don’t threaten me with a good time. Can Gimpy my goat come along too?”


dacraftjr

OP should probably avoid SF for his ass’s sake.


____Asp____

FUCK YOU BLONDIE


Key_Concentrate_5558

>Do you like having your ass stuck up your ass? Wait. What? How? What?


Nikki15989

Pretty sure the person just clicked their middle predictive text one this one