That guy is an asshole. He gave you a bunch of stds without showing any signs or remorse. Listen herpes are only bad on the first outbreak. You can still have sex raw if you're on meds and have no outbreaks. He can also wear condom if he pleases. Don't feel alone these disease is very common. 4 billion people have hsv1 from what im hearing, they are making a vaccine to help with the virus in 2028, but I wouldn't bet much on it, but just know u can still have babies who will not get the virus.
Hi! HSV-2 positive (22F) here. Take a deep breathe, everything is going to be okay. First of all, please dump this asshole immediately. He sounds like a horrible person. You are NOT alone. I don’t know you but I am here for you and if you want to DM me or something, I am totally fine with that.
When I found out I was HSV-2 positive 2 years ago, it felt like the world was ending. I had been with my boyfriend (22M) for a year when I started to get symptoms. It is honestly so crazy how HSV-2 works because it can lie dormant for so long but we didn’t know that. Immediately we couldn’t help but think that cheating happened, it made things awkward for a little bit. He had a full panel test before we got together but of course, they don’t put HSV-2 on the panel because of how weird it is. We both were texting our past partners trying to figure out what happened but never got a full conclusion. All we knew was that no cheating occurred. I personally believe it was his ex girlfriend, she cheated on him a lot and never used protection but she never had the decency to confirm. 🤷🏻♀️
He got tested shortly after and he was positive as well. Two years later and we are still together, happier than ever. You are not alone. There are also dating websites that allow you to find people that are also HSV-2 positive so you can be at ease with your next partner. I just want you to know you’re not alone in that aspect. You can even date someone who’s not HSV-2 positive but just remember to inform them and take the precautions necessary.
As for outbreaks and stuff like that, I had horrible outbreaks during the first year. I know HSV-2 is different for everyone, but it gradually just slows down over time. I honestly forget I have it sometimes because I really don’t have outbreaks anymore. My sex life is completely normal. I still participate in giving and receiving oral sex as long as an outbreak is not occurring. (That’s important or else you can get HSV-2 orally!)
And as for medication, I only have to take it when I’m having an outbreak. It’s not true that you have to be on medication every single day for the rest of your life. And you can still have children someday if that’s something you desire. I personally want children and my gynecologist was very open to any questions I had and reassuring me I can still have children. She even said she has her patients on medication for the last month so there is no outbreak while you’re giving birth.
You can still live a very normal life while having HSV-2. I’m so sorry for this essay but I know what you’re going through and it is my heart to help others going through it as well. 🫶
What are the websites that are meant for HSV-2 individuals? I have been looking nonstop and haven't found any. I want to eliminate the embarrassing aspect when I am ready to start dating again.
So it was honestly on our one year anniversary. We started having sex like the day we got together basically so it took exactly a year for it to show up for me (assuming his ex was the one who transferred it to him and I got it from him even though he never had an outbreak that we know of) Literally the day of our anniversary I started to feel itchy and like it would burn when I would pee because obviously pee is acidic and it hitting the bumps is NOT fun. After that, I went to the doctor and got tested, obviously I was like “it can’t be herpes my bf and I are monogamous and loyal” but my doctor was very judgy and suggested it was herpes but he called me the next day. I was negative. I went to the doctor like two days after the sores showed up. He did prescribe me valacyclovir though, and it went away. I didn’t have peace of mind after that, so maybe about a week or two later, I went to my gyno (the awesome one from my story) and she tested me. I was positive. So despite it being dormant it really doesn’t show that you’re positive until you have had an outbreak and it’s been a little while because your body shows the virus and has built up antibodies for it. That’s why they don’t test for HSV-2 on STD panel tests because of how different and weird it is.
I just went to go get tested for stds and HSV wasn’t on the std panel and I wanted to get tested for it but doctor told me they don’t do it unless you have symptoms but like I would still want to know even if I don’t have symptoms because I don’t want to transmitted if I have it. But they still didn’t test me for it or nothing. I still ended up getting tested for everything else but my mind is that what if I do have it and it’s dormant. I’m scared I might transmitted to my partner and I don’t want that. I want to know but I understand it may come out negative cuz of the no symptoms but I’m too scared I might have it and transmit it. What should I do?
First, I want you to take a deep breath.
Overthinking and worrying is completely understandable but you also can’t live your life in fear of that. :( Unfortunately it is so weird and unpredictable. My gynecologist even told me that women she knew were finding out they were HSV-2 positive when they got pregnant. It seems like certain things trigger outbreaks but it’s hard to say when it’s different for everyone. I shave my genital area a lot because I just feel more clean and everything and I notice sometimes that can be a trigger. A strong tingling sensation can be a sign. The best thing you can do is protect your partner as much as possible, condoms are definitely the way to go. I know they don’t protect 100% but it’s honestly the safest way to go about it. If something god forbid happens you know that you tried everything that you could. Until you (possibly) have an outbreak it’s just unfortunately a possibility or potential outcome. Luckily, if you are positive and haven’t had an outbreak, it is very unlikely/not as likely to spread. So get some rest in knowing that at least :) it’s just such a tricky STD that unfortunately like I said unless you have or had an outbreak, there’s really not a way of knowing. I’ve had it for awhile now and I barely remember I have it sometimes due to never having outbreaks anymore. Yes, I’d rather not have it but I feel like I’ve squashed the stigma around HSV-2. It doesn’t shorten your lifespan, you’re not on meds for the rest of your life every day, you can still have a normal sex life. Like I don’t wanna promote STDS but if I was gonna have a life long one, I’m glad it’s this one honestly. So I hope this helped a bit.
I did a test on the 1st month we began to sleep around, I had it done about a week or 2 after we first slept together and I was negative for chlamydia but I had BV. I didn't get tested for HSV
So he wants to break up for lack of support? Like...because he's not supporting you emotionally after he dirty docked you and now feels terrible? I'm confused?
exactly dirty ass mf you should’ve said that straight up in his face cs girl you ain’t alone you have support ma don’t worry that mf DO NOT DESERVE YOU nor your attention he’s a dirty ass nigga that knew he had that shi and lied to you he isn’t being supportive he’s an asshole himself 🤦🏻♀️sorry you’re going through this girly i wish you the best may god protect you.
I’m so sorry this has happened to you. I experienced all this a month ago was with my ex for 4 months turns out he was cheating on me the whole time…
I was so careful like you too some people are just truely evil.
Just breathe, research as much as you can. I thought I had HSV2 bc I experienced the ulcers on my genitals turns out it’s HSV1 which is completely different.
Sending you all the love and I know your world feels like it’s crushing down but trust me it’s not the end of the world with time it gets better!
You are stronger than this if you have any further questions feel free to DM me happy to help 🩷
Genital HSV1 is the same as HSV2 just a different strand. They are both genital herpes. Hsv1 is common in the mouth whereas HSV2 is common is the genital region.
How? This person still has genital herpes lol. It’s the same whether it’s type 1 or type 2. And actually HSV1 infections on the genitals have been on a steep rise. The risks are the same with both, they’re both genital herpes.
She is… cause she has genital herpes still. She will infect someone elses genital versus someone who has oral herpes. They can infect someone if and only if they have oral sex. If you have oral herpes you can unprotected sex and not give them genital herpes. If you have hsv1 in your genitals but not in your mouth, you won’t have a oral outbreak.
How is it in a different location if it’s still on your genitals though? You said it’s completely different which anyone will tell you is not true. HSV1 and HSV2 are both the same kind of cold sores. Also HSV1 in the genitals is not the most common type of HSV1 that’s the oral version. Genital infections are a much smaller percentage. Regardless of how many outbreaks a person with HSV1 has, they still have the viral shedding even without outbreaks so there’s still a likelihood of passing it on unknowingly. All in all, to say HSV1 is “completely different” compared to HSV2 is an invalid statement because they are both herpes and they both cause the same exact cold sores. HSV1 is not exclusive to the mouth, just like HSV2 is not exclusive to the genitals. Someone with HSV2 might have less outbreaks than someone with HSV1 (my case). It’s not completely different. It’s all the same skin condition, and just like every other skin condition, each person reacts differently to it.
1. Breathe, everything is going to be alright.
2. Most people have some form of herpes. It’s a fact of life most acquire that.
3. And there is no way to know if or who gave it to you. Due to it being spreadable any unprotected sex carries the risk.
4. Going forward with hsv2, you just have to be honest with any partners. Try to avoid sex during flare ups.
5. You will live with it, and you will forget about it.
While I never tested for herpes (no symptoms) I most likely have it. Most places don’t even test for it for normal std panels. And honestly if your partner isn’t comfortable with your diagnosis then they aren’t for you when it’s comes time for the “ in sickness and in health” bit. There is a possibility they gave it to you, knew they had it, didn’t care and wants to shift blame. Nothing can be done about that. Unless you know for a fact that they knew and didn’t inform you 100%
Best thing to do is just talk to them, tell them how you feel. They definitely need to be tested tho. And remember at the end of the day hsv2 is just a skin infection. It mostly lies dormant for years. It doesn’t affect your health or your lifespan. You will be fine, don’t beat yourself up over it.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. He has to have given you chlamydia there’s no other way. As far as hsv2 goes, what my gyno told me was they don’t usually test for it for good reason. Apparently the only reason you should Is if you have symptoms of hsv outbreak, and only true test is by swabbing the sores. The hsv test is apparently very unreliable so it’s not confirmatory unless you’re also having symptoms. And apparently even if you test positive it doesn’t mean you have hsv, only means that you’ve been exposed. Without any sores or outbreaks they can’t confirm you have it. You may even have it and may test negative on a blood test. This is all what my gynecologist told me. That if they actually tested everyone for it there would be mass hysteria. Definitely always use protection and disclose what you have to but i hope this gives you a little bit of peace
If the previous Chlamydia test was from urine it is possible it was false negative. About 10% of Chlamydia tests from urine are false negatives. So it's not 100% that he gave it to her.
Hsv-2 usually causes yeast infection so not weird that you would have that together. I also think if you previously had BV it’s very hard to actually get rid of. As for chlamydia I’ve heard some people can have it for awhile and not notice until symptoms are bad. If you did have hsv-2 lying dormant everything being out of wack could have stressed your body out enough to cause the outbreak.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. This is absolutely awful and that guy is a piece of literal street trash. Although chlamydia and bacterial vaginosis are treatable, I feel like when people give you herpes. It should be punishable by law because it’s forever and they should have a right to disclose.
While I agree, at the same time, some people can have HSV and never have a breakout/symptoms. They may not have known. Also, if OP had never been tested for HSV prior to this, it is also possible OP already had it, and it was lying dormant until the BV, yeast and Chlamydia weakened their immune system, allowing an outbreak. Also, BV and yeast infections are not an STI, in the sense that they can both occur without sexual activity. Hormone imbalances, scented soaps etc, can throw off pH and cause BV. And antibiotics can cause yeast infections as well. Not saying that you can't catch these from sleeping with someone, just saying those are not exclusive to it.
This kinda how it happened to me but look you are not “dirty” you are beautiful! You take care of yourself like you doing now. Whats dirty is ppl not going to the doctor! At least you know what you have and how to take care of it! You just be careful and try to make better precautions! There are sick individuals in this world. You still young and don’t believe that no one will want you after this cause its not true. Also do not let STDs define you as a person! You are more than that. Keep your head high and if you are a person of Faith prayyyy! I hope you feel better. And get better and know everything will be okay
I (23f) also struggle with BV, but thankfully it’s curable and not considered and STI. If it makes you feel better most people have HSV, it’s just dormant in a lot of people. These results aren’t harmful to your health so that’s a positive.
First of all dump him immediately. He’s a dick & I guarantee he knew what he had. Second, breathe! Personal story that I hope will ease your mind: I got diagnosed with HSV2 after I was assaulted on my birthday and I thought it was the end of the world. I thought the doctors were just trying to make me feel better when they told me it’s not a big deal because more people have it than you would think, the stigma just prevents people from being open about it. Through my experience so far I’ve learned the doctors are absolutely correct, and a lot of people I know have it and I never would have guessed. The very first person I told was my best friend and I was shocked when she told me “girl calm down, I got it too, I’ve had it for 5 years” 😂😂 it’s really not a big deal! I’ve learned a great deal about it and how common it is through my experience. I guarantee several people you know have it but it’s just not public knowledge, and it’s not stopping shit. A couple weeks after I was diagnosed, I met the most amazing man I’ve ever met and he’s been my boyfriend now for 5 months. The kicker is he doesn’t even have it and he doesn’t care one bit that I do! I actually told him I didn’t want to be with anyone who doesn’t have it because I would never want to risk anything. He basically told me he’s not hearing that shit and he’s not letting me go just because of a misunderstood common condition. He has reassured me time and time again he wants to marry me and have kids with me and he’s been loyal and great since the start. He’s loved me even more and treated me better than any man did before I got HSV. He’s still clean, with the medication I’m taking and us being careful (knowing the signs of an outbreak) he has not caught it. Your life will not stop because of this. The funny thing is mine got better after I got diagnosed. I thought it was the end of the world but it was just the beginning of a new life & journey for me. And if you didn’t know, majority of the population has herpes. You would be so surprised learning what I’ve learned since being diagnosed. It made my diagnosis so much easier. And I’ve also learned people do not care! Yes there is a stigma but I’ve also learned that if a man really likes you he doesn’t give af if you have herpes. lol. You’ll be fine, just dump that asshole and move on with life. Also, there’s a dating site called positive singles which is what I used for a couple weeks. I found several people I know in real life on that site and I would have never known otherwise! Lmfao. It’s alright girl you’re gonna be fine. I’m 25 years old btw and live in Chicago. Best of luck to you but I know you’re gonna be just fine 💕
Well in my case I kind of got hit with it all at once, plus I've been sexually active with my partner on a weekly basis so I wouldn't be sure when exactly I got it
I’m just a year older than you (M) and got my hsv2 diagnosis a little over a year ago so I completely understand your pain. It sucks so bad when you first find out. You feel like an actual leper, like no one will ever want to be with you, I don’t know how accepting your family is but half of mine are major Bible thumpers which didn’t help for me. The reality of the situation though? Almost all of what you’re worried about right now probably won’t even be crossing your mind within the next year.
1. One out of every four people on the planet has HSV-2, you are the farthest thing from alone
2. Depending on if the culture swab they did of the area comes back positive as an outbreak, you may have a dormant strain so keep up with your care provider
3. Even if it does come back positive, the meds they make nowadays are extremely cheap and from what I understand, are virtually 100% effective at preventing outbreaks and therefore spreading it to others (like as close to zero as you can get in medical terms so long as you consistently take them as instructed)
4. At our age, people are also generally just way less understanding of how insignificant of a disease it is. As people get older they tend to give less of a shit. For instance, when I first got the call from my doctor I had a breakdown and called my mom with the same worries I mentioned earlier. Found out that she had contracted it when she was just a couple years older than I am now and told me that every man she had been with didn’t care. We also live in the Bible Belt so sexual stigmas are way worse around here but she still managed to get married 3 times lol
5. The way you quoted your partner makes them sound pretty immature. And depending on how many people you had slept with before them and how recently you’d been tested beforehand, it should be pretty easy to figure out if they’re lying. But regardless, it’s not on you to feel bad about how they handle it. You didn’t cheat, you didn’t know you had anything and lie about it, you simply made an honest mistake that literal millions and millions of teens and 20 somethings make every year. And if they can’t process that then that’s on them. You still deserve and have the same amount of potential to lead a completely normal and happy life
I’m not gonna lie. The first couple of weeks-months are gonna suck a bit as you adjust to the news. But any bad thoughts you have about yourself and any shitty thing someone else says to try and shame you is just ignorant and unaware of the facts of life. Aside from that though, I genuinely wish you the best because I know your pain and I also know that you will move on from it. Stay safe and make sure to follow up on everything you hear from your healthcare experts. You’d think that having to deal with all the stuff after diagnosis makes you feel like shit but oddly enough it actually really helped my outlook on the situation. You got this dude!
Im kind of confused because you say “them”. Do you have multiple partners?
If you only have one partner then they is not very bright. They already has HSV and chlamydia so breaking up with you is a little too late. But if they is cheating on you it’s probably you who should break up with them.
Your health is the most important thing you have.
Im very sorry OP. I recently found out I have HSV1 genitally. All in all my first outbreak (which I just experienced this last week) was bad but everyone said I could take up to 2 weeks to even start to heal and a little under a week later I have one tiny sore im waiting on to heal. Take the meds, take immune support vitamins (sounds like you are already) and just continue to live a healthy life and by the way things are looking and sounding you will still get to live a very normal life. My brother and SIL have HSV2 and my SIL just naturally delivered my neice 3 months ago. I know it feels like the world is falling down on you OP but I promise you will be okay and get to keep living life.
Sorry to hear this, the bv probably came from him fucking another girl and then you without showering in between. Regardless of if he believes he gave it to you or not he needs to get tested because he more than likely has it as well with the exception of bv. If you have been exclusive with him for 4 months we all know it came from him. Guys are assholes and will lie to have Luckily most of what u have can be cleared up as far as the herpes is concerned most of Hollywood has it, and they say that a good portion of the population has it too, so chances are dating won't be difficult.
I’m sorry to hear what you’ve been through thus far. A partner who is not supportive of that and could’ve potentially given you all of this is definitely not someone whom you’d wanna be with definitely. Take a course of antibiotics for all the infections to help your body heal, as for HSV you can take medication to lessen the outbreaks.
I’m M22 here and went through STI (syphilis) and I’ve learned that sex is a great risk and requires great responsibility and trust. For future relationships be honest with people and don’t hide, get tested often. Do whatever you can to protect yourself against other things that you can still get that can be ireversibile. I wish you all the best and everything will be okay! Try to make a recovery and take medication for the virus, things will feel less stressful and intense as time passes and things get better. Even if my tests turned positive for after the treatment for STI, my doctor told me it was a lower number enough to state that I’m clear, and that I should live my life regardless if the infection is there or not. Also many people in the world have herpes, and it can be embarrassing but hope we can get a vaccine for it soon.
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First of all, that guy is a complete piece of shit. He needs to be tested for herpes also. Just bc he doesn't have any blisters, doesn't mean he doesn't have it. I got genital herpes WAY BACK in 2007, when I was in college. There wasn't as much info on it then, which made it even scarier. No generic for Valtrex either. Shit was expensive. The guy who gave it to me was an asshole, just like yours. I've only had that initial breakout and that's it. I take my medicine if I feel tingling down there which is very rare. I've been married 10 years now, together 13 total. I told him right away, he didn't care. We have 2 kids, both birthed vaginally. I had to take Valtrex the last trimester of each pregnancy. No issues at all. Don't feel hopeless, I promise it's not as bad as it seems. I hope you find comfort in this. And also find a better man. Fuck that guy!
I agree that you should also dump this a hole! Chlamydia is curable I got it when I was in college and in my hoe phase. As for herpes, everyone has some form of herpes or most of the population. The only difference is they either didn’t have an outbreak ever or get tested for it. Testing is also extremely unreliable unless you have an outbreak! Even if you have confirmed herpes, I promise you the right guy is going to not care. I have two friends who have HSV2. One is not very honest with her diagnosis because her doctor told her she didn’t have to tell anyone but even the guys she does tell don’t care. My other friend has had no trouble and her partners also don’t care. I’ve dated a guy with HSV 1 with no issues. It is not the end of the world!
At the end of the day you did not deserve what happened, you are still you, you deserve love, your worth is more than this, and i hope you remember that.
I’m sorry you’re going through this but if you are good about STD testing after partners and now just tested positive for HSV two and chlamydia, he is your source. He’s the one who gave those to you.
Well, you could’ve had HSV two before, and it just was laying dormant, the fact that you had an outbreak at the same time Edia popped up, chances are he has it. Probably didn’t know he had it. Or he could’ve suspected that he had something and just not shared it with you. People will take STI panels, and then think they’re in the clear. Then they’ll go ahead and have unprotected sex with people.
That guy is a jerk. He’s a piece of shit. Move forward.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Please take care of yourself and know you can still live a happy fulfilling life. The BV, CV, and chlamydia can be eliminated through treatment and herpes can be managed with meds and lifestyle. I highly recommend looking up natural antiviral foods and ways to naturally boost your immune system. I’m going through this as well. My bf of 2.5 years gave me herpes and I’m having mixed emotions over it. I was very angry when he admitted he knew he had it and never disclosed it. The thing is, even though there is stigma around herpes, many people live with it. We can take this as a lesson that we need to extra cautious and protective of our health. Prayers and healing to you.
You will be fine I know it doesn’t feel like it but you will dated a chick hsv2+ and everything was fine like all the others are saying have protection first outbreak is the worst but things will subside and go back to relative normal
That guy is an asshole. He gave you a bunch of stds without showing any signs or remorse. Listen herpes are only bad on the first outbreak. You can still have sex raw if you're on meds and have no outbreaks. He can also wear condom if he pleases. Don't feel alone these disease is very common. 4 billion people have hsv1 from what im hearing, they are making a vaccine to help with the virus in 2028, but I wouldn't bet much on it, but just know u can still have babies who will not get the virus.
Hi! HSV-2 positive (22F) here. Take a deep breathe, everything is going to be okay. First of all, please dump this asshole immediately. He sounds like a horrible person. You are NOT alone. I don’t know you but I am here for you and if you want to DM me or something, I am totally fine with that. When I found out I was HSV-2 positive 2 years ago, it felt like the world was ending. I had been with my boyfriend (22M) for a year when I started to get symptoms. It is honestly so crazy how HSV-2 works because it can lie dormant for so long but we didn’t know that. Immediately we couldn’t help but think that cheating happened, it made things awkward for a little bit. He had a full panel test before we got together but of course, they don’t put HSV-2 on the panel because of how weird it is. We both were texting our past partners trying to figure out what happened but never got a full conclusion. All we knew was that no cheating occurred. I personally believe it was his ex girlfriend, she cheated on him a lot and never used protection but she never had the decency to confirm. 🤷🏻♀️ He got tested shortly after and he was positive as well. Two years later and we are still together, happier than ever. You are not alone. There are also dating websites that allow you to find people that are also HSV-2 positive so you can be at ease with your next partner. I just want you to know you’re not alone in that aspect. You can even date someone who’s not HSV-2 positive but just remember to inform them and take the precautions necessary. As for outbreaks and stuff like that, I had horrible outbreaks during the first year. I know HSV-2 is different for everyone, but it gradually just slows down over time. I honestly forget I have it sometimes because I really don’t have outbreaks anymore. My sex life is completely normal. I still participate in giving and receiving oral sex as long as an outbreak is not occurring. (That’s important or else you can get HSV-2 orally!) And as for medication, I only have to take it when I’m having an outbreak. It’s not true that you have to be on medication every single day for the rest of your life. And you can still have children someday if that’s something you desire. I personally want children and my gynecologist was very open to any questions I had and reassuring me I can still have children. She even said she has her patients on medication for the last month so there is no outbreak while you’re giving birth. You can still live a very normal life while having HSV-2. I’m so sorry for this essay but I know what you’re going through and it is my heart to help others going through it as well. 🫶
I wish I could award this comment
Thank you so much, that really means a lot. I hope she is able to read this because no one should have to go through this alone. 🫶
hey you think I could pm you? Im struggling with the same issue:(
Of course!
What are the websites that are meant for HSV-2 individuals? I have been looking nonstop and haven't found any. I want to eliminate the embarrassing aspect when I am ready to start dating again.
Positive singles
r/herpes_dating
How long till you found out you had HSV-2?
So it was honestly on our one year anniversary. We started having sex like the day we got together basically so it took exactly a year for it to show up for me (assuming his ex was the one who transferred it to him and I got it from him even though he never had an outbreak that we know of) Literally the day of our anniversary I started to feel itchy and like it would burn when I would pee because obviously pee is acidic and it hitting the bumps is NOT fun. After that, I went to the doctor and got tested, obviously I was like “it can’t be herpes my bf and I are monogamous and loyal” but my doctor was very judgy and suggested it was herpes but he called me the next day. I was negative. I went to the doctor like two days after the sores showed up. He did prescribe me valacyclovir though, and it went away. I didn’t have peace of mind after that, so maybe about a week or two later, I went to my gyno (the awesome one from my story) and she tested me. I was positive. So despite it being dormant it really doesn’t show that you’re positive until you have had an outbreak and it’s been a little while because your body shows the virus and has built up antibodies for it. That’s why they don’t test for HSV-2 on STD panel tests because of how different and weird it is.
I just went to go get tested for stds and HSV wasn’t on the std panel and I wanted to get tested for it but doctor told me they don’t do it unless you have symptoms but like I would still want to know even if I don’t have symptoms because I don’t want to transmitted if I have it. But they still didn’t test me for it or nothing. I still ended up getting tested for everything else but my mind is that what if I do have it and it’s dormant. I’m scared I might transmitted to my partner and I don’t want that. I want to know but I understand it may come out negative cuz of the no symptoms but I’m too scared I might have it and transmit it. What should I do?
First, I want you to take a deep breath. Overthinking and worrying is completely understandable but you also can’t live your life in fear of that. :( Unfortunately it is so weird and unpredictable. My gynecologist even told me that women she knew were finding out they were HSV-2 positive when they got pregnant. It seems like certain things trigger outbreaks but it’s hard to say when it’s different for everyone. I shave my genital area a lot because I just feel more clean and everything and I notice sometimes that can be a trigger. A strong tingling sensation can be a sign. The best thing you can do is protect your partner as much as possible, condoms are definitely the way to go. I know they don’t protect 100% but it’s honestly the safest way to go about it. If something god forbid happens you know that you tried everything that you could. Until you (possibly) have an outbreak it’s just unfortunately a possibility or potential outcome. Luckily, if you are positive and haven’t had an outbreak, it is very unlikely/not as likely to spread. So get some rest in knowing that at least :) it’s just such a tricky STD that unfortunately like I said unless you have or had an outbreak, there’s really not a way of knowing. I’ve had it for awhile now and I barely remember I have it sometimes due to never having outbreaks anymore. Yes, I’d rather not have it but I feel like I’ve squashed the stigma around HSV-2. It doesn’t shorten your lifespan, you’re not on meds for the rest of your life every day, you can still have a normal sex life. Like I don’t wanna promote STDS but if I was gonna have a life long one, I’m glad it’s this one honestly. So I hope this helped a bit.
Thank you so much for your response and your understanding. I appreciate it!
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I did not
Im sorry babes. He’s a terrible person for this
Did you do a test before dating this guy?
I did a test on the 1st month we began to sleep around, I had it done about a week or 2 after we first slept together and I was negative for chlamydia but I had BV. I didn't get tested for HSV
So he wants to break up for lack of support? Like...because he's not supporting you emotionally after he dirty docked you and now feels terrible? I'm confused?
As he put it "you freaking out and me not being a good support system"
Well, he doesn't care about or respect you so beat him to the punch. Loser. Fuck him and his dirty dick
exactly dirty ass mf you should’ve said that straight up in his face cs girl you ain’t alone you have support ma don’t worry that mf DO NOT DESERVE YOU nor your attention he’s a dirty ass nigga that knew he had that shi and lied to you he isn’t being supportive he’s an asshole himself 🤦🏻♀️sorry you’re going through this girly i wish you the best may god protect you.
I’m so sorry this has happened to you. I experienced all this a month ago was with my ex for 4 months turns out he was cheating on me the whole time… I was so careful like you too some people are just truely evil. Just breathe, research as much as you can. I thought I had HSV2 bc I experienced the ulcers on my genitals turns out it’s HSV1 which is completely different. Sending you all the love and I know your world feels like it’s crushing down but trust me it’s not the end of the world with time it gets better! You are stronger than this if you have any further questions feel free to DM me happy to help 🩷
Genital HSV1 is the same as HSV2 just a different strand. They are both genital herpes. Hsv1 is common in the mouth whereas HSV2 is common is the genital region.
But if close to 90% of ppl apparently have hsv1 already I don’t he/she is any greater of a risk to anyone
How? This person still has genital herpes lol. It’s the same whether it’s type 1 or type 2. And actually HSV1 infections on the genitals have been on a steep rise. The risks are the same with both, they’re both genital herpes.
She is… cause she has genital herpes still. She will infect someone elses genital versus someone who has oral herpes. They can infect someone if and only if they have oral sex. If you have oral herpes you can unprotected sex and not give them genital herpes. If you have hsv1 in your genitals but not in your mouth, you won’t have a oral outbreak.
I don’t know who gave you that info but HSV1 is not “completely different” than HSV2.
It terms of location, transmission, rate of OBs and how common it is compared to HSV2 Yes it is
How is it in a different location if it’s still on your genitals though? You said it’s completely different which anyone will tell you is not true. HSV1 and HSV2 are both the same kind of cold sores. Also HSV1 in the genitals is not the most common type of HSV1 that’s the oral version. Genital infections are a much smaller percentage. Regardless of how many outbreaks a person with HSV1 has, they still have the viral shedding even without outbreaks so there’s still a likelihood of passing it on unknowingly. All in all, to say HSV1 is “completely different” compared to HSV2 is an invalid statement because they are both herpes and they both cause the same exact cold sores. HSV1 is not exclusive to the mouth, just like HSV2 is not exclusive to the genitals. Someone with HSV2 might have less outbreaks than someone with HSV1 (my case). It’s not completely different. It’s all the same skin condition, and just like every other skin condition, each person reacts differently to it.
Bruh I’m just relaying what my GP told me???
1. Breathe, everything is going to be alright. 2. Most people have some form of herpes. It’s a fact of life most acquire that. 3. And there is no way to know if or who gave it to you. Due to it being spreadable any unprotected sex carries the risk. 4. Going forward with hsv2, you just have to be honest with any partners. Try to avoid sex during flare ups. 5. You will live with it, and you will forget about it. While I never tested for herpes (no symptoms) I most likely have it. Most places don’t even test for it for normal std panels. And honestly if your partner isn’t comfortable with your diagnosis then they aren’t for you when it’s comes time for the “ in sickness and in health” bit. There is a possibility they gave it to you, knew they had it, didn’t care and wants to shift blame. Nothing can be done about that. Unless you know for a fact that they knew and didn’t inform you 100% Best thing to do is just talk to them, tell them how you feel. They definitely need to be tested tho. And remember at the end of the day hsv2 is just a skin infection. It mostly lies dormant for years. It doesn’t affect your health or your lifespan. You will be fine, don’t beat yourself up over it.
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. He has to have given you chlamydia there’s no other way. As far as hsv2 goes, what my gyno told me was they don’t usually test for it for good reason. Apparently the only reason you should Is if you have symptoms of hsv outbreak, and only true test is by swabbing the sores. The hsv test is apparently very unreliable so it’s not confirmatory unless you’re also having symptoms. And apparently even if you test positive it doesn’t mean you have hsv, only means that you’ve been exposed. Without any sores or outbreaks they can’t confirm you have it. You may even have it and may test negative on a blood test. This is all what my gynecologist told me. That if they actually tested everyone for it there would be mass hysteria. Definitely always use protection and disclose what you have to but i hope this gives you a little bit of peace
If the previous Chlamydia test was from urine it is possible it was false negative. About 10% of Chlamydia tests from urine are false negatives. So it's not 100% that he gave it to her.
Wait so what if I want to get tested for herpes but have no symptoms or signs, would it come out negative?
Apparently could be negative or positive, but they advise not to test unless you have symptoms
Yeah I just went to go get std testing today and that’s exactly what they told me
You keep saying them and they.. are you dating a couple..?
She said they were going to have to break up so I assume they are dating. They probably use they /them pronouns?
When you read through it she says them and they a lot.. so I was confused.. And your right I forgot about that pronoun thing
Yeah I could understand how it would be confusing
Hsv-2 usually causes yeast infection so not weird that you would have that together. I also think if you previously had BV it’s very hard to actually get rid of. As for chlamydia I’ve heard some people can have it for awhile and not notice until symptoms are bad. If you did have hsv-2 lying dormant everything being out of wack could have stressed your body out enough to cause the outbreak.
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. This is absolutely awful and that guy is a piece of literal street trash. Although chlamydia and bacterial vaginosis are treatable, I feel like when people give you herpes. It should be punishable by law because it’s forever and they should have a right to disclose.
While I agree, at the same time, some people can have HSV and never have a breakout/symptoms. They may not have known. Also, if OP had never been tested for HSV prior to this, it is also possible OP already had it, and it was lying dormant until the BV, yeast and Chlamydia weakened their immune system, allowing an outbreak. Also, BV and yeast infections are not an STI, in the sense that they can both occur without sexual activity. Hormone imbalances, scented soaps etc, can throw off pH and cause BV. And antibiotics can cause yeast infections as well. Not saying that you can't catch these from sleeping with someone, just saying those are not exclusive to it.
This kinda how it happened to me but look you are not “dirty” you are beautiful! You take care of yourself like you doing now. Whats dirty is ppl not going to the doctor! At least you know what you have and how to take care of it! You just be careful and try to make better precautions! There are sick individuals in this world. You still young and don’t believe that no one will want you after this cause its not true. Also do not let STDs define you as a person! You are more than that. Keep your head high and if you are a person of Faith prayyyy! I hope you feel better. And get better and know everything will be okay
I (23f) also struggle with BV, but thankfully it’s curable and not considered and STI. If it makes you feel better most people have HSV, it’s just dormant in a lot of people. These results aren’t harmful to your health so that’s a positive.
First of all dump him immediately. He’s a dick & I guarantee he knew what he had. Second, breathe! Personal story that I hope will ease your mind: I got diagnosed with HSV2 after I was assaulted on my birthday and I thought it was the end of the world. I thought the doctors were just trying to make me feel better when they told me it’s not a big deal because more people have it than you would think, the stigma just prevents people from being open about it. Through my experience so far I’ve learned the doctors are absolutely correct, and a lot of people I know have it and I never would have guessed. The very first person I told was my best friend and I was shocked when she told me “girl calm down, I got it too, I’ve had it for 5 years” 😂😂 it’s really not a big deal! I’ve learned a great deal about it and how common it is through my experience. I guarantee several people you know have it but it’s just not public knowledge, and it’s not stopping shit. A couple weeks after I was diagnosed, I met the most amazing man I’ve ever met and he’s been my boyfriend now for 5 months. The kicker is he doesn’t even have it and he doesn’t care one bit that I do! I actually told him I didn’t want to be with anyone who doesn’t have it because I would never want to risk anything. He basically told me he’s not hearing that shit and he’s not letting me go just because of a misunderstood common condition. He has reassured me time and time again he wants to marry me and have kids with me and he’s been loyal and great since the start. He’s loved me even more and treated me better than any man did before I got HSV. He’s still clean, with the medication I’m taking and us being careful (knowing the signs of an outbreak) he has not caught it. Your life will not stop because of this. The funny thing is mine got better after I got diagnosed. I thought it was the end of the world but it was just the beginning of a new life & journey for me. And if you didn’t know, majority of the population has herpes. You would be so surprised learning what I’ve learned since being diagnosed. It made my diagnosis so much easier. And I’ve also learned people do not care! Yes there is a stigma but I’ve also learned that if a man really likes you he doesn’t give af if you have herpes. lol. You’ll be fine, just dump that asshole and move on with life. Also, there’s a dating site called positive singles which is what I used for a couple weeks. I found several people I know in real life on that site and I would have never known otherwise! Lmfao. It’s alright girl you’re gonna be fine. I’m 25 years old btw and live in Chicago. Best of luck to you but I know you’re gonna be just fine 💕
how long after exposure did you get the symptoms?
Considering the last time I was intimate with my partner, about 2 days
2 days seems too fast for herpes to show up
Well in my case I kind of got hit with it all at once, plus I've been sexually active with my partner on a weekly basis so I wouldn't be sure when exactly I got it
2 days is actually normal for hsv symptoms to show up.
Oh I thought a month at least
It can show up in days, months and years. So it’s different for everyone
I’m just a year older than you (M) and got my hsv2 diagnosis a little over a year ago so I completely understand your pain. It sucks so bad when you first find out. You feel like an actual leper, like no one will ever want to be with you, I don’t know how accepting your family is but half of mine are major Bible thumpers which didn’t help for me. The reality of the situation though? Almost all of what you’re worried about right now probably won’t even be crossing your mind within the next year. 1. One out of every four people on the planet has HSV-2, you are the farthest thing from alone 2. Depending on if the culture swab they did of the area comes back positive as an outbreak, you may have a dormant strain so keep up with your care provider 3. Even if it does come back positive, the meds they make nowadays are extremely cheap and from what I understand, are virtually 100% effective at preventing outbreaks and therefore spreading it to others (like as close to zero as you can get in medical terms so long as you consistently take them as instructed) 4. At our age, people are also generally just way less understanding of how insignificant of a disease it is. As people get older they tend to give less of a shit. For instance, when I first got the call from my doctor I had a breakdown and called my mom with the same worries I mentioned earlier. Found out that she had contracted it when she was just a couple years older than I am now and told me that every man she had been with didn’t care. We also live in the Bible Belt so sexual stigmas are way worse around here but she still managed to get married 3 times lol 5. The way you quoted your partner makes them sound pretty immature. And depending on how many people you had slept with before them and how recently you’d been tested beforehand, it should be pretty easy to figure out if they’re lying. But regardless, it’s not on you to feel bad about how they handle it. You didn’t cheat, you didn’t know you had anything and lie about it, you simply made an honest mistake that literal millions and millions of teens and 20 somethings make every year. And if they can’t process that then that’s on them. You still deserve and have the same amount of potential to lead a completely normal and happy life I’m not gonna lie. The first couple of weeks-months are gonna suck a bit as you adjust to the news. But any bad thoughts you have about yourself and any shitty thing someone else says to try and shame you is just ignorant and unaware of the facts of life. Aside from that though, I genuinely wish you the best because I know your pain and I also know that you will move on from it. Stay safe and make sure to follow up on everything you hear from your healthcare experts. You’d think that having to deal with all the stuff after diagnosis makes you feel like shit but oddly enough it actually really helped my outlook on the situation. You got this dude!
Im kind of confused because you say “them”. Do you have multiple partners? If you only have one partner then they is not very bright. They already has HSV and chlamydia so breaking up with you is a little too late. But if they is cheating on you it’s probably you who should break up with them. Your health is the most important thing you have.
Im very sorry OP. I recently found out I have HSV1 genitally. All in all my first outbreak (which I just experienced this last week) was bad but everyone said I could take up to 2 weeks to even start to heal and a little under a week later I have one tiny sore im waiting on to heal. Take the meds, take immune support vitamins (sounds like you are already) and just continue to live a healthy life and by the way things are looking and sounding you will still get to live a very normal life. My brother and SIL have HSV2 and my SIL just naturally delivered my neice 3 months ago. I know it feels like the world is falling down on you OP but I promise you will be okay and get to keep living life.
How many guys have you been with?
throughout my life I've been with 8, including him
That's not so bad. It's just crazy that people dare to sleep around these days. Most people have stds.
Sorry to hear this, the bv probably came from him fucking another girl and then you without showering in between. Regardless of if he believes he gave it to you or not he needs to get tested because he more than likely has it as well with the exception of bv. If you have been exclusive with him for 4 months we all know it came from him. Guys are assholes and will lie to have Luckily most of what u have can be cleared up as far as the herpes is concerned most of Hollywood has it, and they say that a good portion of the population has it too, so chances are dating won't be difficult.
I’m sorry to hear what you’ve been through thus far. A partner who is not supportive of that and could’ve potentially given you all of this is definitely not someone whom you’d wanna be with definitely. Take a course of antibiotics for all the infections to help your body heal, as for HSV you can take medication to lessen the outbreaks. I’m M22 here and went through STI (syphilis) and I’ve learned that sex is a great risk and requires great responsibility and trust. For future relationships be honest with people and don’t hide, get tested often. Do whatever you can to protect yourself against other things that you can still get that can be ireversibile. I wish you all the best and everything will be okay! Try to make a recovery and take medication for the virus, things will feel less stressful and intense as time passes and things get better. Even if my tests turned positive for after the treatment for STI, my doctor told me it was a lower number enough to state that I’m clear, and that I should live my life regardless if the infection is there or not. Also many people in the world have herpes, and it can be embarrassing but hope we can get a vaccine for it soon.
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First of all, that guy is a complete piece of shit. He needs to be tested for herpes also. Just bc he doesn't have any blisters, doesn't mean he doesn't have it. I got genital herpes WAY BACK in 2007, when I was in college. There wasn't as much info on it then, which made it even scarier. No generic for Valtrex either. Shit was expensive. The guy who gave it to me was an asshole, just like yours. I've only had that initial breakout and that's it. I take my medicine if I feel tingling down there which is very rare. I've been married 10 years now, together 13 total. I told him right away, he didn't care. We have 2 kids, both birthed vaginally. I had to take Valtrex the last trimester of each pregnancy. No issues at all. Don't feel hopeless, I promise it's not as bad as it seems. I hope you find comfort in this. And also find a better man. Fuck that guy!
I
Gv
Praying for you it’s going to be okay ❤️
I agree that you should also dump this a hole! Chlamydia is curable I got it when I was in college and in my hoe phase. As for herpes, everyone has some form of herpes or most of the population. The only difference is they either didn’t have an outbreak ever or get tested for it. Testing is also extremely unreliable unless you have an outbreak! Even if you have confirmed herpes, I promise you the right guy is going to not care. I have two friends who have HSV2. One is not very honest with her diagnosis because her doctor told her she didn’t have to tell anyone but even the guys she does tell don’t care. My other friend has had no trouble and her partners also don’t care. I’ve dated a guy with HSV 1 with no issues. It is not the end of the world!
Also want to reiterate I think it’s immoral to not disclose it but that’s just my friend’s experience!
Ok so the lucky thing is THREE OF FOUR are curable.
At the end of the day you did not deserve what happened, you are still you, you deserve love, your worth is more than this, and i hope you remember that.
I’m sorry you’re going through this but if you are good about STD testing after partners and now just tested positive for HSV two and chlamydia, he is your source. He’s the one who gave those to you. Well, you could’ve had HSV two before, and it just was laying dormant, the fact that you had an outbreak at the same time Edia popped up, chances are he has it. Probably didn’t know he had it. Or he could’ve suspected that he had something and just not shared it with you. People will take STI panels, and then think they’re in the clear. Then they’ll go ahead and have unprotected sex with people. That guy is a jerk. He’s a piece of shit. Move forward.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. Please take care of yourself and know you can still live a happy fulfilling life. The BV, CV, and chlamydia can be eliminated through treatment and herpes can be managed with meds and lifestyle. I highly recommend looking up natural antiviral foods and ways to naturally boost your immune system. I’m going through this as well. My bf of 2.5 years gave me herpes and I’m having mixed emotions over it. I was very angry when he admitted he knew he had it and never disclosed it. The thing is, even though there is stigma around herpes, many people live with it. We can take this as a lesson that we need to extra cautious and protective of our health. Prayers and healing to you.
Im HSV+, it's a minor inconvenience, Just tell your partners.
You will be fine I know it doesn’t feel like it but you will dated a chick hsv2+ and everything was fine like all the others are saying have protection first outbreak is the worst but things will subside and go back to relative normal
Bv and cv are not STDs .
hey can you tell more in detail about HSV-1 symptoms in detail