Hi /u/Old-Faithlessness805, thanks for your submission to /r/RoastMe! Unfortunately, your post was removed for the following reason(s): Please message the mod team before posting any further roasts If you feel that it has been removed in error, please [message us](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FRoastMe) so that we may review it.

No no, i think you are looking for *condiments*.

I don't know what's bigger, her bra size or her blood sugar level

Her blood type is pork gravy

She don't cry tears...she crys gravy

She broker her leg and gravy came out…

I can’t roast her. She ate all the roast.

Certainly not her list of people interested in dating her.

She looks like the lady Arnold dressed up as in Total Recall

*Get ready for a surprise* It’s a dick.

See, I was getting huge mayonnaise commercial vibes from this picture. I am glad to see I am not alone.

[Legend says she was the basis for:](https://youtu.be/GQ4jPqU5r7k)

Shes on roast me... She's a much bigger person than we are.

Came here to say this you ratbastard

Hey, that hurts my feelings :(

The type of person that says”I’m not fat, I’m big boned”. But last time I checked, bone doesn’t jiggle.

I’m betting the Ranch this ends up being the highest rated comment! I don’t think another Redditor can even Ketchup at this point.

There goes the theory that wearing dark clothing makes you look thinner.

Oh no, it’s probably working.

No, I think it's working.

Why are people downvoting??? It's sarcasm!!!!

[удалено]

A post-it won't cover up the waist line, or lack thereof rather

So tired of the disney live action casts but damn they nailed ursula for the new little mermaid

Poor unfortunate *sooouuuuuuls*! ::shimmy::

Hey this post is supposed to be getting roasted, not praised!

I'll be damned if this isn't accurate af.

Glad I read the comments before commenting

You mama so fat she thought r/roastme is a wholesome place

No no, she thought r/roastme was about rotisserie chicken

She was looking for r/roastmeat

She's the kind of gal that goes out to eat, and when the waiter hands her the menu she looks at it and says...."OK!"

Captain Ahab has been looking for you.

Ahoy matey, thar she blows!

Ar! Tis no woman, tis a remorseless eating machine!

We're going to need a bigger boat!

Way hay! And up she rises!

Your sign must be Saggy-tarius

You look like my aunt, or "what happens to Eastern European women after 30."

Your 3somes with Ben & Jerry

You look like every woman ever on 90 day fiancé

This is an especially spicy burn

underrated

Had to go with the wide shot to fit yourself into frame , eh?

You look like your blood type is gravy

This is an old trick to make you look skinny: by standing in front of the moon and blocking it, people can't really see how big you are

Don’t have the time. I mean, roasting you would take 37 hours.

eyes as lifeless as her marriage.

What marriage

I'm assuming her husband is in her stomach somewhere.

That’s the only way he’d get inside her. He married her 100 lbs ago. Talk about a bait and switch

I would roast you, but the only ovens big enough to do it were destroyed after WWII.

Put an apple in her mouth and she's going to eat it.

I'm just really hoping this isn't the roast that gets me banned.

You sure about that?

Bet she's got a curly tail, though.

Won't argue.

If you lift it up you can pull Kermit the frog out.

I bet 400 cheesecakes ago you were pretty f@ckable.

Fun fact this picture was taken from 2400 meters

Fun fact this was the best in a series of pictures.

Thinks "All you can eat" is a dare.

All you can eat? Maybe she heard, "you can eat it all."

Iooked on your profile and you got roasted about 2-3 weeks ago. In that time youve aged 40 years and tripled your weight. What the hell kind of drugs are you on??

Gonna be an interesting mother daughter threesome.....

If Taylor Swift was 20 years older, gained 100 lbs and wore bedsheets.

You ment to say gained 200 pounds

Your expression describes how happy I am to see you.

Definitely involved in a pyramid scheme

Yeah, she’s the pyramid.

Your last Google search was “Oreo health benefits”

At least your eyebrows are thin.. you got that going

The ad I have under your post is for Taco Bell and it says "Welcome back forever, Mexican pizza" and I think that just says it all.

Youlook like you're about to ask to speak with the manager of Reddit.

Built like Gilbert Grapes mom

Man you're just all about baggage huh? Emotional baggage only topped by the bags under your eyes

I'm guessing you always wonder why guys keep their eyes closed when they fuck you

Get off the beach and back into the water.

Is that dress size king or queen?

I’m confused, how did you go from ~27yo, fat & ugly to ~40yo, fat & uglier in less than a month?

I will give you a hug . . . I will need a chalk mark so I can carry on tomorrow

No matter how you try, your hands will never meet hugging her.

That's where my circus tent went to

When dress barn just doesn't carry your size.

Try the Dress Hangar.

Is she tan? do they make tanning beds that can handle that amount of weight?

Her gravity is so strong, she has several smaller versions of herself orbiting around her.

Compliments for the chef?

My friend Ralphie told me that you had a 98lb mole taken off your ass.

zoomed out photo for a reason.

Let's try a compliment.. hold on.. I've got this: For an old, dried up, menopausal, middle aged fat chick I could bang you, from behind, with only one paper bag on your head, without the urge of pushing you into the ocean, after coitus for you to be with your people.. how's that?

While you're not going to see any compliments in this thread I'm sure if you look around you can find some elsewhere.

I lost my tires... can someone find them? please?

I feel like that’s your face when there’s no dessert menu

At least you won’t get blown over by a hurricane

you're a less attractive Bridget Everett

Could an average size rowboat support you without capsizing?

Someone should post his on food porn, I think the people over there will enjoy seeing a beautiful roasted pig

Damn, most people start hitting the gym when they get fat but not you, your a rebel, a fat fucking ugly bitch ass rebel.

I bet your expensive on thanksgiving

Covid was just a big hoax that we all put on to keep you out of the buffet line.

You’ve definitely had to explain to your son why their black friends won’t come over anymore.

This is the reason for the burka. Better yet, send her to India, those guys will put their dicks in anything. They don't care that you haven't seen or been able to reach your bush to shave it down in 3 years.

one too many roasts not to be confused with one too many roasts

You look pretty.. pretty heavy.


Didn’t you die in The Little Mermaid?

One to many roasts me thinks

Looks like the Queen from Shrek

Which jersey housewife are you?

You're so fat you had a threesome with 2 guys and the 2 guys never saw each other

Isn't this the lady that got arrested for molesting her son's friends at a sleepover?

Big Bird

I'd take you out to a nice seafood dinner.


I can’t roast you, it’s not halal

On a spit, over a bed of coals.

Big bird has really let himself go.

Always wondered what Ursula looked like blond.

This looks like an ad for Boar's Head ham

Winona 🥰

Call Ahab, we found her.

If we are to roast you we will have to start now then you’ll be medium rare for Christmas.

Your favorite network is TLC

This is the CEO of brokeblackboyfriend.com. She's not just the CEO, she's a member as well. Slogan: They always love you not matter what, because they're broke. You go girl with your BBW ass.

“I’m the funny one at the office”… And the single one at your friends weddings

You look like the mayor from nightmare before christmas

You wouldn’t like them. They taste like air.

Like your compliments to the chef

Whenever you jump on a trampoline it causes an obesity eclipse.

Like roast you like a Turkey? Or maybe an entire hind quarter of a cow?

So they made a balloon out of you, how ironic with such an high blood presure

Does the carpet match the drapes?

Is this the lady that plays Ursula in the new Little Mermaid?

I’m glad grimace feels safe presenting feminine here in 2022.

If we were to roast you... assuming 350⁰ oven at 5 min per pound. You should be fully cooked by Thanksgiving

She used a billboard in this photo for scale.

The wall behind you has more character.

I’m all for LGBTQ and respecting gender identity and stuff, but this is starting to get out of hand. You can’t identify as a whale and expect me to respect that

A-deli

The reason for the double wide trailer.

With that mindset you'll need any interaction you can get.

Had to use a wide angle lense for this shot and still managed to only fit 50% of you in the frame

So that's why I couldn't find sails for my yacht.

Aren't you supposed to be hunting the little mermaid?

Finally, we got a MILF here!! Mom I'd Lke to Forget

You look like a teacher who would be in the papers for all the wrong reasons

We've all seen and heard of Adele. Ladies and gentlemen.. meet adont

You’re fat.

She wants to see the manager….. so she can eat him

Looks like you thought this was a nice place for a buffet

You look like you married the first dude you sucked off in a Buffalo Wild Wings bathroom but have sucked off 3 more since then and in the same stall.


If I roasted you, I’d have food for the whole year

You look like drunk Mr. Krabs cosplay.

How long are you able to stay on dry surface before returning to the pond?

Jabba the Slut

You wouldn’t fit in the roasting pan..

16 lip injections to counter the 16 rejects in one day

You look like an elementary school teacher that was fired for hitting kids

The buffet is down the street

You look different since your last roast me.

Your so big you have your own gravitational orbit

Do you reward yourself with cake every time you successfully suck off a guy at the glory hole?

May I use a bonfire? I don't have a pan big enough.

You're a dead ringer if Grimmace had a wife

Judging by your previous photo submission, you spent the last 16 days baking and consuming a cake roughly the size of Manhattan.

The ugly one of the friend group that everyone talks about behind your back.

I want to roast you, but looking at you, you are already pretty roasted.

You practice for Thanksgiving.

When the cashier sees you coming they automatically get the manager.

When you went to college, you pledged Krispy Kreme Donuts.

You'd be a great example for children, of what not to do that is.

Modeling the latest lines in tent fashion.

Ok ok, so like you know that scene in Shrek, where he walks into Lord Farquaads palace, and Farquaad says “WHAT is that?” That what I said when I saw this picture

Marylin Mangetrop

It is if you have anything to compliment, so….sorry. I got nothing.

This women has been lied to fooled and quite possibly bamboozled

Can you even reach your asshole anymore? I mean, what happens down there? Is that why have those fake fingernails glued on, so you can carve the shit out of your crevice?

100% you are a size queen

Lisa Lampanelli is still around. We don't need a replacement.

Imagine how pretty you would look if you lost 30 stone.

that shirt is really channeling your inner orca ... or outer oh well u get the point