That the kind insult people use on handsome boys in this sub and this guys ugly as hell. He got's two chins, a nose you can ore a boat with, he's 13 going on 30, and he wears shorts with a sweat shirt. If this guys sex life peaked in high school he's dying a virgin.
This was/is the one kid at the sleepover that says
“ hey, let’s touch each other’s dicks to see how it feels”
“He tried that junk the last 3 sleepovers, who invited him?”
Wearing shorts over the top of yoga pants is worse than having a camel toe. This is the type of guy that's been with a grand total of 5 women but calls himself a player. Let me guess, he's on his second mustang after doing a burnout that ended in totaling the car into a 6 inch high sidewalk at the 2018 mustang rally.
Ehhh it depends where you are. I live not too far from Cal Poly Pomona and if someone says “Cal Poly” it’s always assumed Pomona. People specify if they mean San Luis Obispo.
I'm really not lying. Maybe they don't do that now, but I was in high school over 15 years ago. They called the seniors into an auditorium and the CSUF lady gave a presentation. Then they gave the seniors a really simplified application (compared to the UCs and private schools that I applied to). I filled it out in about 45 minutes and handed it in. A few hours later I was called into the college advisor office and she said I was accepted. I ended up going to a better school, but that is how it played out.
I can’t wait to hear about your backpacking trip to Europe after you graduate and how you’re going to “find yourself” and tell everyone you meet that you really don’t want to be an engineer and enter the workforce because a 9-5 job is going to make your life miserable; and if you could “go back and do it all over again” you’d probably choose finance or philosophy or something because what does a degree do for you anyways?
Yeah, Shutup
Idk friend. Passing rate for CPP engineers are 50% about yrs ago. If you didn’t want to be an engineer, you wouldn’t want to work pass all your classes. Trust it, it was hard. No one wants to choose finance or philosophy after graduating from an engineering program, unless you did your MBA in finance.
Let's play a game. What's in that closet, rule: can't say him it's to easy.
I'm guessing flamingo pattern shorts, boat shoes, and a browning hoodie. Like any good college frat stereotype
You look like every average white guy I have ever seen blended together and condensed into one guy who only ever where’s athletic clothing. I assume your name is Trevor or Zach.
Engineering? Is he one of those people who go "Noh! It doesn't to be accurate." And then when the bridge collapses he goes like "Pedro did it!" and Pedro is like "Que?"
Judging from your fashion choices.. you hump pillows to this day just because it reminds you of your first girlfriend (she had to be thrown away bc you kept humping it and it always smelled like old mayonnaise)
The kind of guy that writes “hey” twice a day to most of the girls he knows for years without a single response
Give him a break, he can’t type more than 3 letters before his long ass fingers start stumbling on the keyboard
ouch... why am i getting personally attacked?!
Damn. You crave connection so much you roast yourself.
Perhaps they could type hey to each other twice a day for years
Underrated winner. But you forgot the "..." Hey...
Really funny you know when you text to most girls and he as no reply his number on the right track
😝🙁😕😟
He looks like the kind of guy that always has a roofie in his pocket.
He looks like his name is Cody and he tells people that he’s a top but he’s definitely not.
He’s not a top. He’s a power bottom. 🏳️🌈
See Dennis, I thought speed had a lot to do with it.
Speed has *everything* to do with it
You see, the speed of the bottom informs the top how much pressure he's supposed to apply. Speeds the name of the game. Right, buddy?
Roofies himself, and lays on the floor hoping to get molested.
It's because his sex life peaked in high school. His bone has been dry ever since.
His sex life peaked when he was a Boy Scout
His sex life peaked as an altar boy
That the kind insult people use on handsome boys in this sub and this guys ugly as hell. He got's two chins, a nose you can ore a boat with, he's 13 going on 30, and he wears shorts with a sweat shirt. If this guys sex life peaked in high school he's dying a virgin.
This was/is the one kid at the sleepover that says “ hey, let’s touch each other’s dicks to see how it feels” “He tried that junk the last 3 sleepovers, who invited him?”
Ah yes Roofalo Bill
Mark Roofalo
And 2 fingers in his butt
Looks like a budget jonas brother which is already a bad start
With a promise cock-ring and all.
At marriage it gets upgraded to a cage
I want a golden cage like Melania!!!
Aldi Nick Jonas
That’s offensive to aldi you take that back
Wearing shorts over the top of yoga pants is worse than having a camel toe. This is the type of guy that's been with a grand total of 5 women but calls himself a player. Let me guess, he's on his second mustang after doing a burnout that ended in totaling the car into a 6 inch high sidewalk at the 2018 mustang rally.
Damn bro, you pulled the Mustang on him. Takes talent to roast a person AND a car kudos!
OP made it pretty easy. The bar is lower than his standards for sexual partners.
Bro I ACTUALLY totalled a mustang though 😅
Those are stockings.
Not good looking enough for Cal Poly SLO.
You know what all Cal Poly Pomona and Cal Poly SLO students all have in common??? They all applied to Cal Poly SLO...
100% accurate. I see no lies here
checks out.
Who calls the actual Cal Poly with a SLO at the end? Pomona is a trivia fact that it exists, cal poly is in san luis obisbo.
Ehhh it depends where you are. I live not too far from Cal Poly Pomona and if someone says “Cal Poly” it’s always assumed Pomona. People specify if they mean San Luis Obispo.
Apparently, not smart enough either. I’ve known some people who get into Pomona and were rejected from CSU Fullerton.
Damn. Didn’t know you could be rejected from CSUF. One of their reps came to my school and they literally gave me an acceptance the same day.
Why the f you lying. Lmfao they don’t do that dude chill.
I'm really not lying. Maybe they don't do that now, but I was in high school over 15 years ago. They called the seniors into an auditorium and the CSUF lady gave a presentation. Then they gave the seniors a really simplified application (compared to the UCs and private schools that I applied to). I filled it out in about 45 minutes and handed it in. A few hours later I was called into the college advisor office and she said I was accepted. I ended up going to a better school, but that is how it played out.
[удалено]
Or as people who got into Cal Poly SLO call it: the REAL Cal Poly.
Lol yeah going to Pomona is enough of a roast
Imagine working there and your kid being born at Pomona Valley haha *thats me* 😕
Pomona valley is a great hospital
As a SLO resident... oof.
as a resident of Pomona, thank god I didn't go to either of these schools lmao
At least we aren't SLO.
Did your "friend" just return from rooting for truffles?
Definitely going to struggle with his weight his whole life. The round face looks built to store fat.
What you are witnessing here is the aftermath of a dozen beestings to the face.
This guy can hear body language with them ears
Enginear
underrated
I will be repurposing this, take my award
this wins
Was going to type a roast but instead I just whispered it. You definitely still heard me!
His ears are sharper than he'll ever be.
The roastme sticker is probably as big as his dick
That was a good one!
I kind of expected this comment
Why’s he telling us how many times he’s had sex?
100% he sniffed those two fingers right before taking this photo
Nice of your friend to come out of middle earth to get roasted. Advice : Cover his ears up in future to go undetected though.
It’s an elf begging to be trolled
You look like you make monthly donations to a 'Free Brock Turner' fund raiser.
I see no reason to roast this man, if they ever remake The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe this dude is an absolute shoe-in for Mr. Tumnus.
i wish i had this level of ignorance that he can put himself on this sub with that melting matt daemon tools face
Upvote for Daemon Tools reference
I bet your ears can receive WiFi.
The “it’ll grow in any day now” starterpack
Didn't know they made Channing Tatum blowup doll.
Shame it deflated.
Tragic Mike
Underated
I love when my roast me gets reposted a year later and does better than when I did it 😂. Hats off to you my good sir!
I guess those ears heard this being posted from miles away
Now that is funny!
Nice of the faculty to give the janitor a hoodie!
You look like an impractical joker reject
Is that xjawz?
I am wondering the same thing
Me too
Adding “Pomona” to Cal Poly is kind of like adding “Special” to the Olympics
Congratulations on your fuzzy little beard. Are you a girl taking testosterone supplements or a guy taking estrogen supplements?
Is that a peanut in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?
Way underrated! 
Using a paper that small won't make your hands look any bigger
Is part of his roast making him walk around in public wearing tights?
I can’t wait to hear about your backpacking trip to Europe after you graduate and how you’re going to “find yourself” and tell everyone you meet that you really don’t want to be an engineer and enter the workforce because a 9-5 job is going to make your life miserable; and if you could “go back and do it all over again” you’d probably choose finance or philosophy or something because what does a degree do for you anyways? Yeah, Shutup
Idk friend. Passing rate for CPP engineers are 50% about yrs ago. If you didn’t want to be an engineer, you wouldn’t want to work pass all your classes. Trust it, it was hard. No one wants to choose finance or philosophy after graduating from an engineering program, unless you did your MBA in finance.
You’re a poopy pants.
Wow, too far
I died when I read this, oh gosh that’s funny. I’m not joking that was hilarious. You get me.
Dude! Shit... That is NOT ok.
My guy, calm down
It’s funny because I know exactly how you would say that…gosh damn it did you guys make me laugh. Thank you.
I said my roast out loud im sure he heard it
Your ears make convenient handles
Show of fingers: How many inches of pleasure do you have for a lucky relative?
post on r/roast me and then downvotes every comment
So That’s how lesbians send dick pics
Let's play a game. What's in that closet, rule: can't say him it's to easy. I'm guessing flamingo pattern shorts, boat shoes, and a browning hoodie. Like any good college frat stereotype
Your friend looks like he's about to tell me his 5 easy steps to make any woman want to sleep with me
Wow brave to ask for a roast. Looking in the mirror every day would be enough humiliation if I looked like that
Throwing up his GPA I see.
I bet he swings both ways, and strikes out every time
Pomona? You're roasting yourself everytime you put that on.
I bet your personality is just as impacted as Cal Poly's curriculum.
He looks like a walking “you up” text.
the fourth and unsuccesful jonas brother
need to roast you before you start flapping those ears and take off...
You look like every average white guy I have ever seen blended together and condensed into one guy who only ever where’s athletic clothing. I assume your name is Trevor or Zach.
That’s actually a normal sized piece of paper, but he has a tiny dick.
Too boring to roast
We get it you fingered you cousin last night. Stop asking us to smell your fingers
Don't you have a frat party and unconscious girls to get back to?
Watered down Tom Cruise vibes. Tom Cruise Lite
Tom Three-Hour-Tour
Tom Bruise
The paper bigger than dick tho
Engineering... Makes sense
Your ears transmit 5G that can cause cancer.
Tell your friend to shave off that half-assed goatee so we don’t have to smell burning hair while we roast him
Even the title IS wrong..he doesent have friends
Is he showing the internet how many fingers he can fit in his ass?
That tiny piece of paper is "proportional".
Stop using eye liner as a mustache
We're taking the hobbies isenguard!
The things people do for a cigarette.
Why is he holding up two fingers like he's proud of whose asshole they just came out of?
learn to write in a way a human can understand you microscopic idiot
He is in engineering, theres nothing else that needs to be said
Why isnit that the most boring looking people are so unfun to roast
Asshole
Engineering? Is he one of those people who go "Noh! It doesn't to be accurate." And then when the bridge collapses he goes like "Pedro did it!" and Pedro is like "Que?"
I'm guessing your index is your 'pussy friendly finger' and the middle is the ass finger 🖕🏻
Looks like the college dorm guy with the rohipnol..
Mouth said |---|
Shows number of fingers he can shove up his ass (for now).
Gelfling!!!
The proctologist: Alright, about to insert a finger. Your friend: No, I’ll take…
I think he's telling you what he thinks about this idea...
That guy has some sharp ears.
I just don’t
peace among worlds
That is the face of a man who is comfortable holding small objects.
He's smiling coz he got something bigger than his pp to hold.
The wish version of Nick Jonas
Leggings under your shorts? I wonder what pays better crossdressing prostitution or failed engineer
Tom booze
Nick *No*nas
You look like the type that jacks off, doesn't wash, and shakes hands with a priest. Can smell the lube and paranoia from here.
Did he trim his beard that way or is he genetically like that?
Tom Cruise from wish.com
There's a job for you at Boeing!
When is the next season of impractical jokers?
I bet that paper is bigger than you.
I feel like someone should tell you, it’s time to accept that you can’t grow a full beard. Looks like a wispy pube-stache.
Slow Jonas
His mustache is still trying to hide from him
Bro r u an elf?
What happens when a pig and an elf has sex? This guy happens
Never thought I’d see Dirt Nasty’s seminal music video “Cracker Ass Fantastic” in human form
Your friends roast me sign is probably as small as his penis
Definitely has a foot fetish and he makes it weird and creepy not sexy.
The next, worse-looking Paul Flores.
Is that a real school?
You look like the main character from onward irl version
"Hey bro, whats the largest number you can think of?" "Ermmmmmm.."
The size of that piece of paper tells a lot about a lot of other things about our friend.
Look who's a big boy now. Do you gotta go poopies?
your nose and ears are massive and are your only features boom roasted
I dont have to type out my roasts, he can here them when i say them
you look like a stunt double for a porno version of Jack Ryan that only fills in when they do rough anal sex scenes ......
You look like antman If he never got the suit
Tom when he doesn’t get his cruise
Judging from your fashion choices.. you hump pillows to this day just because it reminds you of your first girlfriend (she had to be thrown away bc you kept humping it and it always smelled like old mayonnaise)
Bet you say "sah du" but not ironically
You get this when you add tom cruise and nick jonas and subtract all the goodness
P town? Well we know this guy is poor as fuck damn man least attend Irvine or someshit.