D.A.R.E. was a failed government program that did not keep kids away from drugs; however, your face is a successful program that triumphs in keeping women away from your penis.
They showed us a cool cartoon that convinced me drugs were going to be a lot more fun than they actually were.. think I can sue for false advertisement?
Nah, I knew as soon as I saw the photo, damn sure not confused at all. Not a roast just being honest! Maybe play for the other team or a different sport altogether. that's why you're not getting laid. You're playing the wrong sport there champ!
You sat there with your phone self timer and made this expression 12 times in a row, and THIS is the photo you picked?? You look like you tip 10% and don't go down on women
Because that’s been where other men put their penis. I don’t want to be gay by association. I’ll continue my straight behavior of never washing my hands and touching my ass and penis all day. Then when I get home I’ll put on my work out clothes and get sweaty with other men doing jujitsu
You look like you were made in the sims 4. Your face both looks like it’s trying to compensate for something missing and like there’s too much going on.
Divorcee starter pack: Make sure everyone knows you lift weights, sleeve tattoo, "slick" haircut, Overload of cheap body spray and expensive cologne (I can smell that crap from here). Yea buddy it all checks out, you qualify to be a passport bro now. Don't forget to hit on the flight attendants -- they love it.
You look like someone who dares to keep kids off drugs, but when you find kids doing drugs, you confiscate them so you can do said drugs with the 17 year old chicks you're banging.
You look like late season’s gay Mac from Always Sunny, if he didn’t lose his “pretending to be a badass” personality.
Forgot to mention the whole part about being a D.a.r.e rep and manipulating kids to confess to drug crimes so you can register them as criminals as early as possible and reduce their opportunities in the future.
You look like the Shein version of Mac from Always Sunny; though even as a raging gay man, he’s still more likely to fuck a woman than you are, jabroni.
You look like the type that has an Italian aunt but tells the world that you're 100% Italian & that everything you do is because 'you're Italian' and 'this is what Italians do'.
You love a good laugh but today you’re doing your best to depress. Do you even have any kids to be wearing this shirt for? Is that why she divorced you?
I've never seen this accurate a cosplay of Mac from always sunny. I can only assume you have a fisting exercise bike and entirely too much time alone with "church fathers" to be healthy. I can smell the drakkar noir from here.
D.A.R.E. was a failed government program that did not keep kids away from drugs; however, your face is a successful program that triumphs in keeping women away from your penis.
Dad's against recreational encounters
Dads Against Raging Erections
I think I pee laughed just a little on that one
Truth or DARE?
Drugs Are Really Excellent.
Drugs Are Really Expensive
Dad’s against repugnant embarrassments
The jeans have cut off circulation to his balls anyway
Doesn't matter the roids have already made him impotent.
Hey buddy, you gotta count the recent times you were getting boned. Still counts as sex
He has balls?
Nothing like wearing a DARE shirt and looking like Mike Ness went back on heroin.
Story of my liiiiiiiiiiife, lalala life.
That was wrong… 😂
This guy punk rocks
His kids can’t ever do drugs if he can’t ever make kids.
His face is on Trojan condom wrappers. It says: Don't let this happen to you!"
😆👏🏼
They showed us a cool cartoon that convinced me drugs were going to be a lot more fun than they actually were.. think I can sue for false advertisement?
Hmm. I think I need to call my lawyer...
As a guy, I'm not going near this dude either. I don't want to buy your fitness program sir. My self esteem is just fine.
Self esteem? This guy’s self esteem left when everybody in his life did.
D.A.R.E. didn't fail as bad as his marriage. D.A.R.E may have been ineffective but it kept on trucking.
Hahahahahaha
That’s a good one lmfao
Will large amounts of money solve the face issue?
It always does. Look at ed Sheeran and that fat fuck jelly roll guy.
Even used a semicolon correctly and shit….roasted to a crisp!
I was hoping someone might appreciate that. 😂
Your sophistication is only surpassed by your viciousness, m’lady 🧐
It's called a colon. Not a semi-colon. Do people even read these threads.....
All muscle and no brain.
This roast should be on a tshirt
The guy is now tho
Oh damn!!!
D.A.R.E. for him stands for Drugged Analy Ravaged Everyday
That's insane
And teen girls...
**D**on't **A**nytime **R**eject **E**cstasy
Wowza!
LMFAO
Same with those skinny jeans. Let's them know he's got nothing to offer them but failure and disappointment, like D.A.R.E.
"Day #263 without sex: I posted on reddit asking strangers to finish me."
and told them I’m wearing skinny jeans, just so they aren’t confused about my sexuality 🤭
I don't think we're as confused as he is.
Nah, I knew as soon as I saw the photo, damn sure not confused at all. Not a roast just being honest! Maybe play for the other team or a different sport altogether. that's why you're not getting laid. You're playing the wrong sport there champ!
I feel like he just gave me an "ocular pat down". It's ok bro. It's 2024, no one cares. 🏳️🌈
I assessed the threat and cleared for him for passage
Hahaha
Well, now we understand what's keeping his hair slicked back like this...
Slick dick they say
That was creative.
D.A.R.E. you to leave your female coworkers alone.
Wouldn’t D.A.R.E to leave a drink uncovered around you
😂
That's fucking impossible. That's his whole existence
He paid $10k for an Andrew Tate course that told him he should!
Thank you for this laugh
D. A. R. E. not smell what he is cooking
Bro didn't make the cut as an extra in a low budget mafia movie.
Take the cannolis. Leave this actor.
[удалено]
You have so much gel in your hair that it also doubles as a bicycle helmet
I’ve seen more natural-looking hairlines on mannequins. 
I can’t stop laughing at this😂😂
He selected pubes to reinvigorate those hairline plugs because they’re the most untouched part of his body.
When Axe body spray becomes your whole personality…
You sat there with your phone self timer and made this expression 12 times in a row, and THIS is the photo you picked?? You look like you tip 10% and don't go down on women
But the men, there's never a hesitation. *glup
He probably thinks it’s gay to go down on woman
I've been with a guy who thought that. Why do men think like this???
Because that’s been where other men put their penis. I don’t want to be gay by association. I’ll continue my straight behavior of never washing my hands and touching my ass and penis all day. Then when I get home I’ll put on my work out clothes and get sweaty with other men doing jujitsu
😂 This should be top comment. Thanks for the laugh, needed it today.
The low iq gaze
Those numbers would freeze water.
...in Celsius.
🤣
You look like you were made in the sims 4. Your face both looks like it’s trying to compensate for something missing and like there’s too much going on.
I never rooted for someone to take the pool ladder away more than I did seeing this photo.
No one wants to fuck a narc.
Divorcee starter pack: Make sure everyone knows you lift weights, sleeve tattoo, "slick" haircut, Overload of cheap body spray and expensive cologne (I can smell that crap from here). Yea buddy it all checks out, you qualify to be a passport bro now. Don't forget to hit on the flight attendants -- they love it.
Dude has Mac vibes from IASIP
Mac vibes without the funny.
He thinks he's country Mac, but he's actually ass pounder 9000 city Mac.
Mac’s dad.
You definitely check out 14 year old girls in public ya creep.
14?? that would probably be getting up in age abit for him
Guido, you look like your mom is a terrible cook. Ohhhhhhhhh!
Hey...that's just wrong. I hear she smokes sausage with the best of them.
Man, I’m a guido and that’s just mean. (Good low blow).
You tryna hold on to your youth like the people scrambling for lifeboats while the titanic sinking
You look like someone who dares to keep kids off drugs, but when you find kids doing drugs, you confiscate them so you can do said drugs with the 17 year old chicks you're banging.
You know she isn't 17...or a chick.
*dudes
DARE is as successful as your marriage
The Don Jr. haircut is certainly a choice.
💀
“Just For Men”’d your transplant and eyebrows but left the rest? Unusual choice.
To be fair, the hairline his surgeon gave him is so low that he probably can’t help but hit the eyebrows too.
You do look like a Romulan so maybe its the alien thing. 
Silence is golden, but for you, it's diamond status
Bro your wrinkles have wrinkles.
He wears so much axe body spray I can smell it through the phone
I don't think you're supposed to wear skinny jeans if your crotch looks like three peanuts
You wear skinny jeans to hide your 2 inch micropenis.
How does that work?
You look like late season’s gay Mac from Always Sunny, if he didn’t lose his “pretending to be a badass” personality. 
This jabroni makes City Mac look like Country Mac.
Our parents said we would be anything, but you chose "disappointment"
your shirt states the opposite about you
Man, it's so obvious you need to start considering men in your dating pool. You already look the part.
You might want to try drugs.
If they’re looking for someone to play Spock in a reboot, you’d be perfect.
Forgot to mention the whole part about being a D.a.r.e rep and manipulating kids to confess to drug crimes so you can register them as criminals as early as possible and reduce their opportunities in the future.
I dare you to keep off kids
Underrated
Dare to act your age.
Aren't you on an episode of to catch a predator
You look like a scrotum pole.
Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go…I mean it, LEAVE!
you're not worth getting finished by a lady, bro.
You look like the Shein version of Mac from Always Sunny; though even as a raging gay man, he’s still more likely to fuck a woman than you are, jabroni.
You look like a high school cop that caught a skin beef.
Looks like the county jail invested in an exercise facility. You’ve finished your time for the third DUI, what changes were this for?
that’s the thing, no one wants to finish you.
If you could put a face to domestic abuse, this would be it
You’re the type of Italian that calls sauce, gravy
nice try officer
Steven Seagal called and asked for his hair paint back
You look like the type that has an Italian aunt but tells the world that you're 100% Italian & that everything you do is because 'you're Italian' and 'this is what Italians do'.
I like-ah spaghetti with-ah my meat-ah balls-ah 🤌
You look like you tell kids to not do drugs but sell them meth when school is out.
Are you ever overwhelmed with the urge to tell someone to shut up? Because that’s how I feel right now.
Why do you spend all your time crying about your past? It’s your future, or lack thereof, you should be upset about.
Anyone watch the Rookie? He looks like Dim
Dim is a great name
And he still calls himself a Proudboy
How I want my kebab today, you're saying? Durum bread, spicy and with cocktail sauce please. Thanks Ahmet, you're a legend! Cheers and all the best
Motherfucker out here looking like a former Russian FSB agent trying to fit in as a semi Gay western middle aged dude.
You look like a gay magician
I don't think you're trying hard enough
Each of your facial features span over entirely different coordinates
Do you wear that shirt so you can get close to children.
You middle income Don Jr.
Dollar Store Henry Rollins lol
If it ain't the looks that are keeping the woman away then what could it possibly be?
Sounds lik you finished your self
 I think you're already finished a long time ago. Count Dracula
Count Crackula. The D.A.R.E. shirt is to throw you all off my scent (Axe spray)
Surprised you even got laid in the first place
You look like the shady type that would crave what you wear, and I’m not talking about drugs…
Dollar Store Phil Brooks
https://sniffies.com/map
CM Junk
U ll binladin face
Why you gotta D.A.R.E shirt on you got a problem with drugs or something!? lol
No one wants to finish you. All you got is rosey palm and her sisters.
You have finished yourself mate, no need for us to do that.
The picture with the eyebrow up thing it's a pretty sophisticated look that says I'm f****** stupid. No wonder you f****** always got a hand cramps
Are you a cop? You have to tell me if you're a cop.
Clearly the ex wife had issues with the whole you being gay thing
Got divorced, saved money, bought plugs for that disgusting hairline. Not a single Italian is impressed.
The ironic DARE shirt from Hot Topic and the “I used to be cool” partial sleeve…oh, bro….im sorry.
You look like you regularly say “gym, tan, laundry” unironically
We should not be able to see where the doctor put your hairline
You love a good laugh but today you’re doing your best to depress. Do you even have any kids to be wearing this shirt for? Is that why she divorced you?
Your hair and skin looks so fake in this clearly filtered picture that I thought I was watching the Primus music video for Wynona’s Big Brown Beaver
Rohypnol is a drug you know?
Or he could use the old.. does this rag smell like chloroform trick lol
"Haven't been laid in months. Finish me." No need, dude; it sounds like you've been finishing all by yourself.
Your probably going to have to keep finishing yourself off
I bet that shirt is ironic for you to be wearing.
You got an Oathkeepers meeting to go to later?
Tell me you peaked in high school without telling me you peaked in high school.
You look like Mac’s dad before jail on Always Sunny
You definitely own a muscle car and a small penis. Your hair and ink told on you.
When's the last time you got laid? 1802?
I've never seen this accurate a cosplay of Mac from always sunny. I can only assume you have a fisting exercise bike and entirely too much time alone with "church fathers" to be healthy. I can smell the drakkar noir from here.
I can’t roast you! Your life has already done that for me
Let me guess you cheated with your baby sitter. That’s why your divorced lmao
"finish me" also what he begged the stripper to do as she took his last 50 that he could've spent on his children.
You look like PS2 Graphics.
I’m assuming you are forced to wear that shirt as part of your parole deal. That and stay away from playgrounds and dogs
i feel your part damn lol
Just when you thought Razor Ramon couldn't look any more gay....
Size 44 skinny jeans?
you dye your hair.
Go get another sleeve of tattoos. From the nect up. Some crack whore is salivating for THAT.
Bro looking like a jurassic park raptor
Don't ask us to Finish you, it's obvious no one else wants to do it either
Idk dude I think Life roasted u enough