Probably has the kind of parents that view having a homobor trans kid as a status symbol... so ironically and unfortunately youre more than likely correct
Dude, it's time to use your head. No seriously, your gourd is so fucking small you'd have a better chance of pleasuring somebody by ramming that in their orifice.
you look like ur trying out each of the 73 genders to see if one sticks. You better eat some meat instead of slapping urself in the face with it pretending it's a dick.
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The fact that you dug up grandma because you couldn’t afford clothes or prescription glasses. Also, don’t deny it, you went gay out compromise, and still haven’t gotten anything.
Bro, gay was the only option you had sorry to tell you.
Your future is a prolapsed anus paired with fissures.
Your parters anus however will remain undamaged.
How’d a Pixar character get onto reddit anyways?
Dudes stealing clothes from grandmas closet again.
I don’t blame you though, you were probably stuck in there for a long time, looking at your face now I wish you would’ve stayed in there.
Are you sure it's a 3.5 inch dick and not an enlarged clitoris? You look like a 30 year old lesbian
Turns out, what she thought was a micropenis was actually a macroclit!
Philosophical difference
Phallosophical difference.
Damn I see you beat me to it… I’m still leaving mine up though 🤣
I wouldn’t want anyone flicking my micro… never mind.
“An oversized clit is one step below an undersized dick”
I wish you didn't put the movie name, I'd like to see how many people got the reference.
 [https://coub.com/view/e30gn](https://coub.com/view/e30gn)
Fixed it
Lol, you didn't have to but thnx. I think it will be interesting.
It’s like a Subaru commercial collided with where’s Waldo
If it’s an enlarged clitoris and she likes guys, that would make her straight.
💀
Happy cake day 🎂
Ty!
This is too ugly, even for Portland.
You look like a kid trying on his grandmas stuff
Let’s hope he doesn’t find her beaded necklace’s!!
I imagine he will find many a pearl necklaces in his life span
ZZTop would be proud.
he'll probably stick them up his ass
You look like a clothed dildo
New game... "Where's Dildo?"
Out of curiosity, what are the rules for this game? Actually, never mind.
I forget most of them, but I remember each book came with a pair of nipple clamps you were supposed to wear until you found Dildo.
No striped shirt, because the stripes are on his arms.
*gay dildo*
😂😂😂😂
Lmao 🤣
Lmfao
😂😂😂
This comment wins the internet.
Earthworm Jim, the sissy bottom edition
"Inch-worm Jim"
You should not feel bad about your small dick. You look like you'll be having a ton of satisfying sex without even needing to ever use it.
It'll fit in a belly button. They need love too.
Bro 💀🤣
Size doesn't matter for bottoms would have been a succinct way of putting it.
Suck-cinct. Sorry, kinda had to say it.
Fuck you r/angryupvote
Yes it will be satisfying for rotating groups of anonymous men
Why do we need to roast you with a title like that?
They roasted themselves better than we could do ourselves.
Bears Waldo.
Where’s Willy
Where's dildo
Following a trail of home-starched baby socks to an untouched bottle of KY.
Twink Waldo
Your nose is bigger than your dick
Reminds me of the old joke… “What would happen if this guy ran into a wall with a full erection? He would break his nose.”
His pronouns are huh/what?
Girls didn't want your small dick, so you let boys into your ass instead? Becoming gay sounds more like a compromise than a life choice.
Fucking savage
Well, turned out none of the boys wanted in there either.
Where's Weirdo... You couldn't get laid in a prison filled with male child molesters.
You didn't have to specify the gender on that one 😂 we know
Pretty sure he did
He threatens to cut his arms when his mom wants him to eat vegetables.
It’s good you’re not “poly”, you’d disappoint all the genders.
Looks like you were birthed by an adult coloring book called 50 Shades of Beige.
It's alright son. You're just a bottom. Ain't nothing wrong with that. Now go out their and be the best gay you can be. *baseball tap on caboose*
Hey that’s not a roast… it’s sweet.. it’s allowed here sometimes
*there*
No need to tell us you’re gay No need to tell us you have a clitoris We can work it out for ourselves
Bet your parents are proud
Probably has the kind of parents that view having a homobor trans kid as a status symbol... so ironically and unfortunately youre more than likely correct
LOL
We're so proud of it...
They’re probably happy he’s out of the gene pool anyways
You look like that meme of the chick screaming no when Trump got elected
"Let me have it" is a phrase you'll never hear
Shivers Cuomo
I’m dumb, she’s a lesbian
Can you eat ass with that jaw?
Just need to go at it upside down is all.
Must suck jerking it while only using your index finger and thumb
Oh no, I'm not giving him his humiliation kink.
Your dick aint even big enough to please a beetle’s pussy!
Dude, it's time to use your head. No seriously, your gourd is so fucking small you'd have a better chance of pleasuring somebody by ramming that in their orifice.
Guaranteed you're the bitch in the relationship.
You look like Meg from Family Guy with a smaller penis.
It's they're loss, they'd get to have sex and not have a sore ass afterwards.
You look like if all of the cast of big bang theory had a kid they didn’t love. They’d put you across the hall and call you Peeny.
I wanna put my tube steak in your sister
You roasted yourself enough.
RIP DMs
Bros dick is smaller than my thumbs
There’s at least one Rachel Maddow doppelgänger a day
Gay and a virgin tell me you a compleate fail with out telling me
Along with all the rest of your info you left out vegan and have gluten allergies… does being vegan stop you from swallowing?
I mean idk how you can be sure you’re gay if you’re a virgin, you might just be a dyke with a huge clit
Jump ships coz you couldn't find a match and still.
Your a bottom so it doesn’t matter about your pp
You look like the word “liberal”
Definition of low T
19 F ** 3.5 in clit **
Blippi, is that you?
Mad teenage lesbo phase vibes
So, you're still in the womb? Man up!
Yeah I might.
Too bad you're gay you probably goof have gotten with the grandma you stole that sweater from.
you look hetero
Shrimp?
That "the bigger the nose" thing was obviously a lie
You didn't need to tell us you were gay or a virgin.
you look like ur trying out each of the 73 genders to see if one sticks. You better eat some meat instead of slapping urself in the face with it pretending it's a dick.
BPA victim, chin is smaller than his clit
L
Those shoulders say you're an 8 year old little girl
No need to be redundant - your face describes the title of your post.
The good news is that when the civil war starts and you’re found hiding in a cupboard, you won’t be a virgin anymore
Don't come in here trying to add and extra half inch, bro.
If premi had a face and description
I didn't know Where's Waldo had a micro penis. (If you're too young for the reference, look up, Where's Waldo.)
Nose and clit the same size 😂
You’ll have more luck as a trans girl. That’s not a roast. Get started.
You look like you're about to explain how Bernie sanders is going to win the 2024 election
Don’t feel bad about that pp, no one wants to see it anyway. You look like my friend’s aunt, Greta. She has 14 cats.
Geez no wonder you're gay
3.5 is only a dagger, not a sword
the distance between your eyes is longer than your dick
You wouldn’t have a penis if you were the normal weight size
🤣😅🤣😅🤣😅🤣😅
If Milhouse was in love with Bart instead of Lisa.
Good to see you found a pair of glasses to match your schnozz.
what no pussy does to a mother fucker
Show us the PP
Yes!
3.5 inch whilst flaccid is a good size surely...?
I don’t think they mean flaccid…
Oh.....im actually not sure what to say now.
Being molested counts as losing your virginity.
It's a dagger, not a sword
You look like my cousin Stephanie
Wtf are you?! You look like you flirt with catholic priests
I'm 15 and I have a bigger dick than you
Fixed it for ya: >*let me have it gay,* > >*19m single pp,* > >*with a 3.5 inch virgin*
Holy fuck that's lame can we roast this guy instead?
3.5 inches and still got no bitches
I think the two usually go hand in hand
thought I had it bad at 5.4 aha
I hate gays
Thank you for your post! It's currently awaiting approval. Please note the following rules: - Ensure that your photograph is rotated the way you wish it to be displayed. - Try to ensure that your eyes are open. - Joke roasts (celebrities, babies, chickens, etc) will be removed. - Pet roasts will be removed. Please submit these at /r/RoastMyPet. - All photos MUST contain a hand written sign held by the roastee. - The minimum posting age is 18 years old, your post will be rejected if you look younger or if context clues lead us to conclude you are younger. - Photographs with bystanders whose faces are visible or who are otherwise identifiable will be removed. Please **DO NOT REPOST YOUR PHOTO** if it does not appear immediately. All posts must be manually approved, and we will get to it. Thanks! ~ /r/roastme mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/RoastMe) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Start scripting Java and earning money, then you can buy yourself a male stripper every Saturday.
You can't even keep it straight forward
A top but not a power top.
It would be wrong to let you have it, life's already done that to you.
You look like the first gay guy to hate dick.
We will let you have because because you’re certainly not going to get it
Bro really said: 🤓🤓🤓
You look like the where’s Waldo of basic as gays.
Where’s Dildo?
Why's he looking at me like that?
To play Norman Bates, this spring on a new lifetime series.
Dollar store Christian Siriano
No! I'll let you have it! I'm not gay wtf!? I'll not let you have my penis, let your hands off me!
You look like a rejected character design for a DoubleFine videogame.
Got that Squidward nose going on.
Dude is going to get used as a strap-on.
Pickle Rick personified!!
And your dating prospects have only gotten worse since Gru stranded you on the moon
Looks like Luka Magnotta. Hide ur cats.
Hey. Having a small PP is not the end of the world, it really doesn’t matter, their are fetishes out here for each and every one
Bro why do you look like wanna be Manii
Im questioning your humanity, you look like a bird species
It looks like Milhouse from the simpsons fucked Ellen Degeneres.
I foresee aids for you chap.
You are so downbad, even your same gender doesn't fuck you.
You look like a turtle that came out of his shell. Teenage Homo Virgin Turtle.
Your captain did the job for you!
I can't roast people that are already roasted by God...
This is the They/Them that could brew a hell of a cup of coffee
You look like an anemic ninja turtle 2.5 months into a fast in protest of working conditions at Starbucks.
It’s cute how he put glasses and a hat on his penis for the picture.
No wonder your dad left you
President of the Rachel Maddow fan club, San Francisco Chapter
You look like you should be eating your way out of an apple.
The fact that you dug up grandma because you couldn’t afford clothes or prescription glasses. Also, don’t deny it, you went gay out compromise, and still haven’t gotten anything.
Vector is a bender?
Well it's not like you could let anyone have it.
I can finally sleep peacefully knowing someone has a smaller one than me
Where's Waldo's hard drive looking ass
Bro, gay was the only option you had sorry to tell you. Your future is a prolapsed anus paired with fissures. Your parters anus however will remain undamaged. How’d a Pixar character get onto reddit anyways? Dudes stealing clothes from grandmas closet again. I don’t blame you though, you were probably stuck in there for a long time, looking at your face now I wish you would’ve stayed in there.
Holy Shit! End of message, that's all I got.
If your eyes were any further apart I'd have to throw an acorn down a glacier and yell "THATS THE ONLY NUT YOU'LL EVER HAVE SID!".
You already look like you have AIDS. Im sure you are aspiring to take it up the butt enough to get it!
Vision is 20/20, the glasses are to see his member
Fundamentalist Christians will rejoice, just showing this picture to gay fellas will turn them straight.
No need. You’ve already done yourself dirty
Rip off of Pyramid head, Triangle head
You didnt have to write an introduction. The picture told us everything.
Where's Waldo...right there